


on the edge of ordinary

by poetictragedy



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: (these are just SOME of the warnings in this fic:), Angst, Babies, Barebacking, Bathtub Sex, Biting, Character Death, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Fighting, Fingerfucking, Fluff, Funerals, Hair Pulling, Ice Play, Kid Fic, M/M, Morning Sex, Multi, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Piercings, Rimming, Scratching, Sex, Smoking, Tattoos, boys being in love, gagging, references to self injury, the vast fields of ordinary AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-21 11:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 55
Words: 345,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/597006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetictragedy/pseuds/poetictragedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Kendall Knight's last summer before he leaves for college and he's determined to make his last months of freedom his best, despite having a shitty minimum wage job, no friends, parents who fight constantly, and a 'friend' with benefits. When things start going south, Kendall gives up on the hope of having one decent summer at home - until he meets Carlos Garcia, a boy from the other side of the tracks who teaches him how to live and gives him an escape from his fucked up life. Carlos and Kendall are polar opposites that seem to fit together perfectly, and Kendall learns that love - real love - truly does exist.</p><p>And it's Carlos that always has Kendall coming back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is loosely (and I stress: loosely) based on the book, The Vast Fields of Ordinary by Nick Burd. I reread the book and immediately thought of the boys and decided to try my hand in writing a fic based on it. So, here I am! I left some things out that happened in the book, because I don't want this fic to be exactly like the book (that would be bad, wrong, and this fic would be extremely long; hey, I rhymed).
> 
> At the beginning of each chapter, I will put a list of warnings for that [chapter].
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes you find throughout this fic. :c

It's senior prom and Kendall Knight is locked in a bathroom stall with a handful of markers, drawing the outline of a heart in black. He does it carefully, dragging the felt tip down the side of the stall before leaning forward to join the two halves together; once they shape is closed, Kendall pulls back and surveys his work, smiling fondly at the masterpiece.

As he caps the first marker, Kendall listens to the squeak of the door as it's being opened and pulls his feet up off the floor. Voices fill the room and Kendall leans his head back against the wall, chewing on his bottom lip as he listens to his fellow classmates gossip and talk about getting lucky with their dates.

It's all boring to Kendall - the dance, the mundane chatter of his peers and the incessant drone of their voices - and he listens to the noises around him. The talk soon dies away when the urinals are flushed and Kendall breathes a sigh of relief when he hears footsteps moving away; he knows that if someone caught him in the stall, he'd be toast - but if they saw what he was  _doing_? He would be the laughing stock of the school until the graduated, probably even until the graduating seniors went off to college, or whatever they were planning on doing.

The door swings shut and Kendall turns to look at the outline again, cocking his head to the side as he fishes around in his pocket for a red sharpie. He immediately takes the cap off with his teeth and starts to scribble on the white wall, filling in the shape with dark red ink.

All in all, it takes Kendall another half an hour to finish scribbling the heart in; two of his red sharpies dry out and he tosses them onto the floor aimlessly. They roll away, going underneath the bottom of the stall and he grabs the black pen, twisting the cap off before pressing the felt against the wall again. Without hesitation, Kendall writes  _KK + JD_  in the middle of the heart and goes over it twice, making sure it's bold enough to be seen.

When that's done, he caps the marker again and slips it into his pocket, staring at his artwork for a moment before placing his feet on the floor. Standing, Kendall groans and stretches, listening to his back pop - feeling the muscles in his back and shoulders strain against the movement. The bathroom is quiet and he opens the door, peeking his head out before stepping into the room, his boots clunking against the tiles with every step.

He steps into the hall and moves toward the gym again, body being drawn toward the sound of bad pop music and high-pitched squeals and giggles. The bass from the music pumps through the walls and the school corridors come to live with the noise, the floor vibrating beneath Kendall's feet as he walks.

Reluctantly, Kendall goes back into the gym and looks around at the decorations, snorting at the crude lightning bolts and starts cut out of cardboard. Decorations from the eighties are hanging from the ceiling; the lightning bolts and starts are taped to the wall in a pattern that suggests a teenage girl was trusted with doing the decorating.

It's ridiculous and Kendall only takes a moment to bask in  _just how_ absurd it all is - the stupid decorations and the girls dressed in trashy clothing and dresses from way before they were born, their hair high and teased. Even the guys are dressed in a trashy fashion and Kendall wonders if this was the last memory the school faculty wanted them to have: seeing their peers in short skirts and dresses, the rest in cheesy tuxedos with frilly ruffles under the collar.

Finally tearing his eyes away from the crowd and moving toward the bleachers, Kendall glances at the people sitting alone; the dateless losers and nerds that couldn't get a date but wanted to come to prom anyway. For a fleeting second, Kendall wonders if he's one of those datless losers and he laughs to himself, the sound high and bitter, as he sits down.

A few feet away, Kendall spots Jo Taylor sitting by herself, hands folded on her lap and her head bobbing awkwardly to the music. She doesn't know he's looking and Kendall takes a moment to look her over; he notices that she's wearing the same type of clothing as the rest of the girls, just less slutty. In fact, Kendall would go as far as to say that her outfit - a black dress with hot pink ruffles - was the least trashy outfit in the room; he gives her props for not following the crowd, though he always knew that Jo did her own thing.

Kendall keeps his eyes on Jo and she turns to look at him, a piece of blond hair falling across her eyes. She pushes it away and gives Kendall a hesitant smile, waving at him with the hand she used to tuck her hair behind her ear. He smiles back at Jo and studies her carefully for a moment, noticing the glittery make-up on her eyelids, and the few pieces of glitter in her hair.

Shaking his head, Kendall turns back to the dance floor and lets his gaze roam over the people dancing; he laughs at a few people grinding against one another and shakes his head again, averting his eyes. His gaze automatically locks on James and Kendall's heart races in his chest, palms going sweaty as he rubs them against his dress pants.

James Diamond is gorgeous and  _everything_  Kendall could ever want in a man; he's six-foot-one and has chestnut coloured hair that falls just above his eyes - which are hazel, green around the edges with a sunburst of brown around his pupils. In addition to being gorgeous and sexy, wrapped in lean muscles and perfectly tanned skin, James is also very popular and is the star of their high school's hockey team. Everybody wants him, man and woman alike.

From where he's sitting, Kendall can see that James is dancing with his girlfriend, Mercedes, and seeing the pair together makes his insides twist. He swallows thickly and shifts his gaze to the poorly made decorations behind them, eyes scanning along the perimeter of the gym before coming back to James and Mercedes. The way they're dancing is obscene and Kendall hopes - prays, really - that the song will change and they'll just stop. He hopes that James will look at him for the first time tonight, and gets his wish.

The music stops and James moves away from his girlfriend, gaze moving away from her and locking on Kendall, almost as if he knew the other boy was watching him. Their gazes lock for a moment and Kendall tries to smile, his teeth worrying over his bottom lip as he watches James, face burning and heart pounding in anticipation.

For a moment, James just looks at Kendall, eyes cold and expression dark, before he turns away, ignoring the other boy; it's almost as if he's denying Kendall's entire existence and something inside him breaks. When James turns his back and starts walking toward a group of his hockey buddies, Kendall stands and moves off the bleachers, turning to look at Jo once more, not surprised to find her looking back at him, smiling sadly.

Lifting his hand and waving carefully, Kendall offers Jo one last smile before turning on his heels, his boots squeaking against the waxed floor, drawing attention to himself as he makes his way out of the gym.

Tears rim Kendall's eyes and he wipes them away with the back of his hand, growling in frustration as he stomps down the hall, heading toward the exit. When he steps outside, Kendall takes a deep breath, sucking cold air into his lungs before exhaling slowly, one hand loosening the tie around his neck.

He can hear the muffled sounds of music behind him and he lets out another frustrated noise - this time, a scream. The noise fills the night air as Kendall moves to his car, pulling the door open with more force than necessary; he slides into the driver's seat, tossing his tie onto the floorboard before starting the engine.

The hum from his car calms Kendall down and soon, he's pulling out of the school parking lot, saying goodbye to the idiots in the gym; saying goodbye to James and whatever relationship they had, leaving it behind him. He drives with one hand wrapped firmly around the steering wheel and the other thrust out the open window, wiggling his fingers in the night air as if he were playing a piano.

Kendall drives home in the silence, looking at houses as he passes them, wondering how many worried parents are staying up late, waiting for their kids to return from the prom. He snorts at the idea and presses the gas pedal a little more, his car roaring as he speeds through his neighborhood, slamming on the brakes when he reaches his house.

The brakes squeal and it's the only sound Kendall hears in the night air, just under the constant purr of the engine. A smirk creeps over his lips as he pulls into the driveway and parks, shutting his car off quickly before getting out and going inside. He takes his boots off at the door and carries them up the stairs, moving quietly through the house as not to wake his parents up.

When Kendall gets to his room, he shuts the door quietly and lets his shoes clatter to the floor, barely making a thumping noise when they hit the carpet. He looks around his room at the mess on the floor and the guitars leaning against the corner and sighs, lifting a hand to rake through his messy, sandy-brown hair.

_Only a couple more months,_ he thinks as he crosses his room, tearing off his blazer and tossing it aimlessly, listening to the fabric thump against the dresser. Next, he unbuttons his shirt halfway and pulls it out of his dress pants, lifting it over his head and tangling himself in it. It takes him a minute to disentangle himself from the fabric and when he does, Kendall throws it to the floor and undoes his pants, yanking them off quickly.

As he settles into bed, one thought rolls through Kendall's mind: just how much more of this town - and it's people - can he really take? He doesn't have time to answer himself, or ponder the question, before his eyes droop and he falls asleep, dreaming of college and becoming a famous rock star.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: sex]

A month later, Kendall graduates with his class; he smiles and pretends to care about the people that made his life a living hell, but on the inside he's wishing things on them that he's never wished on another person in his life. When Mercedes Griffin passes by him and grimaces, Kendall wants to put his foot out and trip her, but he thinks better about it when his mother hugs him.

The day after graduation, Kendall lays by the pool in his swim trunks, sunglasses over his eyes and a beer in his hand. The sun beats down on his skin and he makes a noise at the warmth, lifting the cold bottle to his lips; he seals them around the top, sucks down a good portion of the alcohol before pulling the bottle away. His mouth makes a loud, obscene sucking noise as the glass is pulled away and Kendall lets out a small 'ah' after he swallows.

His parents are at work; Christopher Knight at his law firm in the city and Jennifer Knight at the hospital, where she's pulling an eighteen hour shift as a nurse. No one is around to witness Kendall drinking a beer - the last one in the house, in fact - and he revels in the peace and quiet.

Until his phone rings and interrupts his 'me time.'

A curse falls from Kendall's lips and he turns his head, switching the bottle of beer from his left hand to his right as he leans over. He snatches the jeans and pulls the denim toward him carefully, feeling the sun against his back; when the fabric is close enough, Kendall fishes through his pocket and grabs his phone.

Tapping a button, Kendall brings the message up and snorts at the text from James:  _'Are you busy?'_

He sighs and sets his beer between his legs, typing out,  _'Kind of, yeah.'_

Once the message is sent, Kendall leans back against the chair again and sets his phone on his stomach, screen side down. Sunlight pours over his body and he sighs deeply, running his fingers over the back of his phone as he lifts the beer to his lips again, taking a long swig. Another noise comes from his cell and Kendall groans, picking the damn thing up again, reading:  _'What are you doing? I wanna see you.'_

Kendall rolls his eyes and types,  _'I'm relaxing, James.'_

Setting his phone back onto his stomach and draining his beer, Kendall tosses the bottle onto the grass behind him and folds his arms behind his head. He listens to the noises around him — the cars passing by, the birds chirping and the kids from down the street laughing as they play.

"I could fall asleep like this," Kendall mutters to himself as he settles down against the lawn chair more, taking in a deep breath. For a moment, he dozes off and wakes up when his phone buzzes again, growling and cursing James for interrupting him.

When Kendall picks up his phone this time, he reads a completely different message from James and it makes him moan.  _'I want to fuck you,'_  James replied, putting a winking face at the end for added effect.

Chewing on his lower lip, Kendall stares at the screen before replying,  _'Let me take a shower and get dressed. I'll be there soon.'_ The message sends and he immediately regrets it, knowing that he thought with his cock instead of his head — or his heart — and Kendall's body wants James, no matter what the rest of him says.

Fifteen minutes later, Kendall emerges from the bathroom in a cloud of steam and runs a towel through his hair, trying to dry it quickly. He walks toward his dresser and tosses the wet fabric onto a pile of dirty clothes, before letting the towel around his waist fall. It pools around his ankles as Kendall kneels in front of the dresser, opening the bottom drawer.

A pair of tight black jeans comes out of this drawer and Kendall throws them onto his bed before opening another drawer. He grabs a pair of blue plaid boxers from this one and stands up, slipping the fabric over his legs and snapping the elastic against his hips.

Part of him wonders if he should just leave the underwear out of the equation and make it easy access for James, but the thought is quickly extinguished when Kendall realizes that leaving them on just means more time with James. With a sigh, he shuts the drawers with his feet and the backs of his legs, before opening one at the top and pulling out an Incubus shirt that is his favourite.

He pulls the soft fabric over his head and lets it fall around his torso as he moves to the bed, snatching his jeans. The fabric drapes over his arm as Kendall moves around the room to grab his things — car keys, phone, wallet, shoes, belt — and he moves out of his bedroom, pulling the jeans on as he enters the hall.

By the time Kendall gets to the bottom of the stairs, he's fully dressed and his hair is half dry and going a dozen different ways; he doesn't bother to brush it or smooth it down, knowing that he'll just mess it up when he gets to James' house.

Something bubbles up to the surface as Kendall walks to his car and he doesn't know if he's nervous, anxious, or scared about going over to the Diamonds'. He's been there a hundred times before and knew it almost better than his own house, so why did he have butterflies in the pit of his stomach? They almost made him feel nauseous and, for a brief second, he considered just calling James and telling him that he didn't feel well.

"I can't fake sick," Kendall mutters as he climbs into his car, shutting the door behind him. "He'll know that I'm lying and he'll come over to my house."

The engine roars to life when Kendall turns the keys in the ignition and the sound calms him down; he listens to the engine rev as he taps the gas pedal, smiling at the noise before putting the car in reverse. As he backs out of the driveway and pulls onto the street, Kendall thinks about the way James looked at him at prom and how he dismissed him.

Kendall chews on his lower lip and drives to James' house quietly, thumbs tapping against the steering wheel the whole way, and his fingers trembling the closer he got. By the time he gets to the Diamond house, Kendall's entire body is shaking and he feels even sicker than before; when he parks in the driveway, Kendall sits in his car for a moment, staring at the house in front of him.

He doesn't think it's a good idea, but his body states otherwise; his cock is hardening in his jeans whenever Kendall thinks about James behind him, driving into him as hard as he can. And when he thinks about the other boy saying his name - the only time James will allow himself to show even an ounce of passion toward him - Kendall can't help but push the heel of his hand against the front of his jeans.

 _It's now or never_ , Kendall thinks to himself as he shuts the car off and listens to the engine die before retrieving the keys from the ignition. With a heavy heart - and a half-hard cock - he gets out of the car and shuts the door, slipping his hands into his back pockets as he walks toward the front door.

The house is quiet and Kendall steps onto the porch cautiously, acting like he's not allowed to be there and, in James' mind, he probably isn't supposed to be. He sighs and swallows hard, lifting a hand to push the doorbell, holding it in until he hears the bell ring throughout the house; when he hears it, Kendall drops his hand and rubs his sweaty palm against his jean-clad thigh.

"I'm coming!" James' voice comes from behind the door and Kendall's heart pounds in his chest, mouth suddenly going dry. He tries desperately to swallow, to dislodge the lump in his throat, but fails miserably and keeps wiping his hands against his jeans.

Footsteps approach the door and Kendall inhales deeply through his nose and exhales through his mouth, smiling brightly once James opens the door. The smile goes unnoticed and unrequited as Kendall stands on the porch, rocking back and forth on his heels, hands resting lazily at his sides.

Then James moves out of the way and holds the door open. "In," he demands, voice rough and low, eyes locked on Kendall in a way he's seen a hundred times before.

Without hesitation, Kendall moves into the house and slips his hands into his pockets, turning to look at James as he shuts the door. The other boy turns on his heels and Kendall allows himself to look at him for the first time — noticing that the boy is only wearing a pair of gym shorts. Licking his lips, Kendall pulls his gaze up and locks eyes with James.

A million things go through Kendall's mind at once and he keeps staring at James like it's the last time he'll ever see him, and it very may well be. The tension between them is thick and the silence is awkward, so Kendall just rocks back and forth on his heels again until James comes forward and grabs him.

Hands go to the front of his jeans, expert fingers unbuckling his belt before moving to the button, popping it quickly. It happens so fast that Kendall's head spins but he doesn't push James' hands away and doesn't stop him from getting what he wants. The sound of his zipper fills the air and Kendall bites his lip, feeling the denim - and the cotton of his boxers - move down his thighs quickly.

Kendall kicks his shoes away and gets out of his jeans without being told, moving awkwardly when James' hands curl around the hem of his shirt. The dark fabric moves up the middle of Kendall's flat stomach and he lifts his arms, feeling it brush along the backs of his biceps before it's gone.

With Kendall's clothing out of the way, James wastes no time in exploring his body; fingers and hands mapping out every inch of lean muscle, fingertips brushing over the jut of Kendall's hipbone. The touches are light and intimate - for now - and Kendall savors them, closes his eyes and revels in the way James' skin feels against his own, not knowing how many chances they'll have left to do this.

"Bedroom," James growls, hands moving up the flat of Kendall's abdomen, dragging blunt nails over his nipples. A loud moan escapes and his body trembles underneath James' touch, but Kendall nods and reluctantly pulls away, turning to make his way down the hall and up the stairs.

This time is like all the rest, but yet Kendall can't get his body to come down from it's high; his body is thrumming, fingertips itching and burning to touch every inch of James, cock already half hard. By the time he gets to James' bedroom, Kendall's whimpering and begging for it, pleading for James and his cock, voice dripping with desperation and need.

James' bedroom is the same as it's always been and Kendall looks around quickly, before situating himself on the bed. He knows how James wants him and scrambles to get onto his hands and knees, chest pushed down toward the bed, ass on perfect display.

When he enters the room, James' eyes rake over Kendall's body and he hums in approval, noticing that the other boy is already in position. Palming himself through his shorts, James walks toward the bed and pushes the flimsy fabric down, kicking it away before wrapping a hand around his cock.

"So eager for me, huh?" His words are right against Kendall's ear and he keens, arches his back and dips down so the head of his cock brushes against the mattress. James chuckles against his skin, breathing hot against it before drawing back; a disappointed whine leaves Kendall's throat and he listens to things rummaging around in the nightstand beside the bed.

They're to the point where Kendall doesn't say anything; he just lets James talk the way he wants and grunts in reply to any and every question the other boy utters. Instead of talking, Kendall focuses on the noises around him and the sounds of the condom wrapper opening. For some reason - and Kendall will never know why this happens - he gets harder at the sound of James putting a condom on; it's almost as hot as  _watching_  it — almost.

Closing his eyes and dropping his face down onto the pillow in front of him, Kendall listens to James' breath hitch and he wonders if he just rolled the condom on. He bites down on his lower lip and makes a noise into the pillow so that James won't hear it, knowing that the other boy doesn't like when he's verbal. It has to do something with the way James refuses to accept that Kendall is there and that he's a boy and that they're  _fucking_  — or that's what Kendall believes, anyway.

James moves to the bed behind Kendall and he can feel the mattress dip with the extra weight, can feel James' hands on his slender hips, fingers brushing along the smooth skin. For a moment, Kendall wonders if this time is going to be like all the others: rough and quick and sometimes painful for him.

He gets his answer when James' fingers press against his entrance; the digits are cool and slick as they slip inside of him and Kendall knows that this time is, _unfortunately_ , going to be like all the others. Sighing heavily, he screws his eyes shut and relaxes, feeling the digits intrude his body at a quick pace, pushing in until James' knuckles are pressing against his skin.

The burn is dull and Kendall hardly pays attention to it anymore, his focus on the way James breathes behind him and the way his fingers feel inside his ass. Every noise he makes is muffled by the pillow and he would like to be able to moan James' name without being silenced, just _once._

"You ready?" James' voice is a dark growl and Kendall just nods his head, whimpering 'yes' into the pillowcase like James can actually hear him. A chuckle erupts from deep in James' chest as he pulls his fingers out quickly, lining the head of his cock up with Kendall's entrance.

It doesn't take long for James to bury himself inside of Kendall; his hips press against the other boy's ass roughly, fingers digging into his hips hard enough to bruise and Kendall curses into the pillow. When James starts a rhythm - his usual pull out, thrust back in, pull out quickly, slam back in pace - Kendall bites down around the pillowcase and tangles his fingers in the sheets underneath them.

James' hips jab against his ass roughly and Kendall starts to push back against him, surprised when the other boy doesn't hold him still or tell him to stop; even more shocked when James' hand goes to his hair, lithe fingers tangling in the short locks as he thrusts with reckless abandon.

Feeling James' hand on the back of his head and the fingers in his hair makes Kendall's heart flutter and he groans James' name into the pillow, pushing back against him roughly as he moves a hand to his cock. He can tell that James is close by the way he's breathing and the fingers around his cock tighten and quicken to match the speed and rhythm of James' thrusts.

And then the final moment is there.

James slams into Kendall one last time, burying himself balls deep into him, and cries out. He doesn't say Kendall's name - or Mercedes' for that matter - and he doesn't really say much of anything, just moans at the top of his lungs and pants harshly. It's still enough to send Kendall over the edge and he screws his eyes shut, hand flying up and down his cock before he comes on the sheets, James' name a moan that gets silenced by the fabric against his mouth.

They pant together and Kendall pushes himself away from the pillow, feeling James' hand slide away from his head. His fingers trail down Kendall's spine and over his ass, sliding down the curve of it and Kendall shivers, licking his lips quickly. In one fluid motion, James slides his cock out and moves off the bed, removing the condom as he turns his back on Kendall, leaving him with a mess of his own come.

"Thanks," Kendall mutters, letting out a harsh breath of laughter when James disappears behind the bathroom door. Things go quiet and Kendall moves to sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair, listening to the faint sounds of water running from ten feet away.

When James comes downstairs, Kendall's pulling his shoes on and he doesn't turn around when he hears footsteps approaching. Once his shoes are laced, Kendall straightens up and smooths a hand down the front of his shirt as he turns to look at James, lifting an eyebrow.

"What?" James spits, hands on his hips.

Shaking his head, Kendall laughs and licks his lips. "Nothing," he replies, "nothing at all. Thanks for calling me over here — it was _fun_ , like always."

Turning his back on James, Kendall grabs his keys from his pocket and walks toward the door, wrapping his hand around the doorknob. Part of him doesn't want to leave and another part - the biggest one - is telling him to run for his life; to leave and never come back, to never answer another one of James' stupid text messages again.

He opens the door slowly, half expecting James to tell him to stop and to stay, but he doesn't; he never has, and despite wanting him to, Kendall knows that he never will. With his stomach churning and his ass getting more sore by the minute, Kendall leaves James' house and lets the door slam shut behind him.

What Kendall wants more than anything is to leave James behind and move on, to find someone who treats him better and who appreciates him. He thinks about how he still has to see James everyday at work, and how he'll hate every minute of it and be reminded of the thing he wants but can't have.

By the time he gets home, Kendall is angry at himself and the world, but mostly James for being a fucking idiot and a douchebag. He goes inside the house and finds it empty, which isn't shocking, and goes up to his room, letting his bedroom door slam shut before falling face-first onto his bed.

Kendall lets out a heavy sigh and turns onto his side, grabbing a remote from the nightstand before hitting the play button. Loud music pours into the room and angry lyrics fill the space, the words playing over and over in Kendall's mind as he stares at the ceiling, both arms folded under his head, wondering when life will get easier for him.

The music changes from loud, angry metal to soft acoustic rock and Kendall sprawls out on his bed, falling asleep to the sounds of Brandon Boyd's voice singing  _A Certain Shade Of Green_. Before Kendall dozes off, the last thing he hears is  _Would a written invitation signed, "choose now or lose it all," sedate your hesitation?_

When he's finally out, Kendall dreams about being far away from his family and the town they're in; he dreams up fantasizes of having James with him and the two of them spending ever waking moment together. In his fantasies, Kendall is always happy and he's always laughing and smiling; there's no sadness or feeling of rejection in these dreams, just happiness.

By the time he wakes up, the sun is setting and Kendall can hear things moving around downstairs. His backside hurts when he moves onto his side and he hisses, curling in on himself for a moment, willing the pain and the heartache to just go away. Kendall doesn't know how long he lays like that, just knows that he dozes on and off for a while until his mother knocks on his door, announcing that dinner is ready.

It takes all Kendall has to get up and go downstairs, but he somehow manages to force a smile and push through the pain - both physical and emotional - long enough to spend time with his mother. And it's just the two of them tonight, eating quietly as the sun goes down over their backyard, plunging everything into darkness and reminding Kendall that he's stuck in this damn place for another three months.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: child/parent arguing, talk of a parental affair, angst, a blowjob, minor choking, fighting]

For the next few days, Kendall goes to work and avoids James the best he can; when he sees the other boy coming toward him, Kendall will duck out the back door and lean against the wall to smoke a cigarette. He waits out there until he's sure James isn't on his trail anymore and he stubs his cigarette out against the brick before going back to work, reveling in the coolness of the building.

One night when Kendall gets home, his father is leaning against the kitchen counter with a magazine in his hand, idly flipping the pages. It takes Kendall back - seeing his father home so early - and he tosses his apron onto the kitchen counter, walking around to the fridge.

"You're home early," Kendall mutters as he opens the refrigerator door, tapping his fingers against the handle before grabbing a bottle of water from the shelf; he wants to grab a beer but knows that his father will just yell at him. _Better safe than sorry_ , Kendall thinks, and smirks at the thought.

Christopher sets his magazine down and loosens his tie. "I asked if I could duck out a little early today," his father starts, turning to look at Kendall with a smile. "I was hoping we could go out to dinner, just the two of us."

The proposition - being  _alone_  with his father in public - makes Kendall's stomach knot and twist in a familiar way and he uncaps his water, taking a long swig. As he swallows, Kendall looks his father up and down and notices significant changes in the man. For one, his father's eyes seem to be sunken and hollow, with dark bags under them and wrinkles chiseled into the skin around them.

He also notices how his father looks more tired than usual and he chews the inside of his lip, playing with the bottle cap in his hand. The plastic moves along his fingers and Kendall sighs, twisting it back onto the top of the bottle before moving forward, leaning against the counter.

"Sure, why not."

"Great," Christopher replies, a smile on his face; Kendall can't tell if it's genuine or not and he doesn't even bother to return to gesture. "Go put on something nice and meet me down here in twenty, okay?"

Kendall nods numbly and pushes himself off the counter, sauntering out of the kitchen and into the living room. He takes the stairs two at a time and goes into his bedroom, setting the bottle of water on his dresser before moving to the closet. The doors open and Kendall holds onto them, eyes roaming and searching the contents of his closet; he doesn't know what to wear and doesn't know what the definition of ' _nice_ ' is in this scenario.

In the end, Kendall decides to wear a black button up shirt, with a pair of black jeans and white suspenders. He looks at himself in the mirror one last time and pushes his hair out of his eyes, sighing heavily. There's a feeling of anxiety in the pit of his stomach and he's honestly scared to go out with his father; they never go anywhere - or talk, really - unless something is wrong.

As he walks down the stairs, Kendall feels the suspenders hitting the sides of his thighs and he laughs, knowing that his dad will probably tell him to 'wear them properly.' He jumps off the last stair and runs a hand through his hair, looking around the room until his eyes focus on his father, who's leaning against the back of the couch with a tumbler of something in his hands.

 _Typical,_  Kendall thinks to himself as he goes to grab his boots from beside the door; he pulls the beat-up Doc Martens on and laces them halfheartedly before turning to his father. "Ready," he mumbles, slipping his hands into his pockets, watching as Christopher's gaze swings toward Kendall, a smile creeping over his face.

"You want to drive?"

"I have to," Kendall replies, trying his hardest not to snort at his father's words. "I wouldn't have to, had you waited until we got to the restaurant to get shitfaced." As he talks, Kendall motions toward his father and the empty glass in his hand, eyebrows raised in annoyance.

Pursing his lips, his father looks down at the glass in his hands and nods. "Meet you out in the car," he mumbles, fishing around in his jacket pocket until he pulls a pair of keys out, tossing them to Kendall. He grabs them quickly and watches as Christopher turns on his heels and walks toward the kitchen, gait slow and exhausted.

Kendall can hear the glass tumble into the sink and he wonders if he should go check and make sure that his father didn't break it, but decides to go wait out in the car instead. He walks through the front door and jumps down the porch steps, heading toward his father's black Lexus LS; the car is beautiful and Kendall feels excited to be able to drive it.

With his heart pounding in his chest - both from being excited and being nervous - and his hands sweating, Kendall gets behind the wheel and starts the engine. A blast of cold air shoots from the vents on the dashboard and he revels in the change in temperature as he settles back against the seat.

It's quiet in the car and Kendall listens to the air conditioner for a moment before he turns the radio on, turning to some local station that plays nothing but rock music. The second he turns it to the station, Kendall hears a Nirvana song and he smiles, sitting back against the driver's seat again, fingertips tapping against the steering wheel.

Five minutes and two songs later, Christopher comes out of the house and walks toward the car, getting into the passenger seat without saying a word. Once his father's settled and has his seat belt on, Kendall puts the Lexus in reverse and turns to look over his shoulder as he backs out of the driveway.

"Where do you want to go?" Kendall asks once they're in the road.

Christopher shrugs and looks at his son. "You pick."

Rolling his eyes and taking a deep breath, Kendall nods and starts driving toward town, humming quietly to a song on the radio, surprised at his father when he doesn't change the station or complain about Kendall's musical tastes. Led Zeppelin starts to play and Kendall suddenly hears his father humming under his breath; it makes him laugh and shake his head, taking his eyes off the road for a moment. "I didn't know you liked Led Zeppelin," he mutters, turning back to the road.

"Your mother and I saw them back in the day," his father replies, smiling as he reaches over to turn the radio up,  _Kashmir_  pouring through the speakers and the bass pumping through the system.

The drive to the restaurant is filled with more Zeppelin and other various rock bands from 'back in the day' and Kendall's fear and anxiety seem to fade away; it's almost gone completely when he turns into the parking lot of his favourite diner.

His father doesn't complain about the location as Kendall parks and shuts off the car; he doesn't make a face at the look of the small diner and he doesn't grimace when they walk through the door, the smell of burgers and breakfast food filling the air.

It's shocking that his father is cool with everything and Kendall's starting to worry again, the pit of his stomach twisting again until it actually hurts. His heart pounds against his ribs and he thinks he can hear it in his ears as he wipes his sweaty palms against his jeans.

"I think I'm a bit overdressed," Christopher mutters, leaning down a bit to speak the words into his son's ears; Kendall laughs and shakes his head, leading his father to a booth in the corner.

They settle down and Kendall folds his hands on the tabletop, smiling at a waitress when she comes by. He addresses her by what it says on her name tag - Kelly - and thanks her when she sets two menus down. When she asks if they want something to drink, Kendall almost opens his mouth to say he'd like a beer but asks for a soda instead; his father orders the same and Kelly leaves the two of them alone.

"How's work?" His father asks, tone casual and words meaningless like always.

Kendall shrugs, looks down at his menu. "It's just fine," he lies; he doesn't want to tell his father that he's avoiding James because he knows that his father will ask why and Kendall doesn't want to open that can of worms just yet. "How's your work?"

"Fine," Christopher replies, mirroring his son's tone. "Just worked on a case where some kid killed his best friend for sleeping with his girlfriend," he continues, like he thinks that Kendall actually cares. "He was no older than you, actually."

 _Fascinating,_  Kendall thinks to himself,  _tell me more about fucked up teenagers, dad._ Everything goes silent between the two of them and Kendall focuses on his menu, scanning it carefully before deciding on what he wants; he sets the flimsy plastic back onto the table and looks up at his father.

The two of them look at each other and break eye contact when the waitress brings their drinks, settling a glass in front of each of them. She takes a pad of paper out of her apron and grabs a pen from behind her ear, turning to smile brightly at Kendall. "Have you decided on what you want?" she asks, her voice high pitched, with a southern twang hanging off the end of her words.

Kendall and his father end up ordering the same thing - a burger and fries, with a milkshake - and their waitress leaves them alone, giving them both a bright smile before walking away. Another awkward silence passes over them and Kendall stares at Christopher, tapping his fingertips against the tabletop, trying to think of something to say.

It's his father who breaks the silence first, saying, "I need to tell you something."

Now, Kendall has seen plenty of movies and he knows that when someone says 'we need to talk' - or something similar - they're not about to tell you something good. A lump forms in his throat and Kendall takes a sip of his drink, swallowing thickly in order to dislodge the lump; it doesn't work and he sighs, looking up at his father through his short bangs.

"Okay," Kendall replies after a moment of hesitation, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at his father with his jaw clenched. "Tell me."

Christopher sighs deeply and lifts a hand, pinching the bridge of his nose as he drops his eyes away from Kendall's, almost as if he were ashamed to look at his son. A vast array of scenarios play through Kendall's mind and he wonders just how bad it is and if it has to do with his mom - it couldn't, could it? If something was wrong with his mother, wouldn't his dad tell him immediately?

Panic starts to set in and Kendall finds it hard to breathe; every worst-case-scenario is flashing across his mind and he moves his hands from the table, dropping them to his thighs. His palms and fingers are sweaty, so he wipes them against his jeans, staring at his father expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"There's this woman," his father begins, words soft and voice strained as he rubs at the corner of his eye, "and her name is Samantha."

Everything comes to a screeching halt and Kendall stares at his father, mouth agape and eyes blinking rapidly. He wants to scream question after question at his father - like who is this woman? Why is he talking about her? Has he fucked her? Is he going to leave  _mom_  for her? But he can't get the words out, not even if he tried to force them past his lips.

With no response from Kendall, Christopher sighs and keeps talking. "She's one of the secretaries in my office and she's funny, beautiful, smart and kind.. You'll like her, I think."

Out of no where, Kendall snorts and shakes his head, letting out a harsh laugh. The urge to scream at his father grows and he has to push it down, reminding himself that he's in public; he can wait until they're home to yell, but for now he has to remain calm.

"So, you're fucking another woman?" Kendall's words are harsh and his father recoils back from them like his son had slapped him. He goes to open his mouth, but Kendall holds a hand up, shaking his head as he runs the tip of his tongue along his teeth. "Actually, you know what? I don't want to know who you fuck and what you do. Mom busts her ass to take care of me _and_  she works long ass shifts at the hospital, while you're out banging your secretary!"

"She's not  _my_  secretary, Kendall," Christopher chides.

Kendall snorts again and shakes his head. "I don't care  _whose_  secretary she is - what I do care about is the fact that you're cheating on  _mom_ ," he mutters the last few words and chews his lip, feeling tears rim his eyes. Lifting a hand, Kendall brushes the heel against his eyes and sighs. And before he can think or stop himself, Kendall opens his mouth and mumbles, "Is she the reason you get home so late?"

"I - yes." The 'yes' hangs in the air and Kendall wishes that he hadn't asked that question as he stares at his father quietly. His father looks back at him and offers a small, sad smile that breaks everything inside of Kendall; he finds himself wanting to reach over and punch his father, but he refrains.

"Does mom know?"

Christopher hesitates and then nods. "I think so, yes."

"How can you  _think_  so?" Kendall asks, his words harsh and his voice sharp.

"I think she has her suspicions, but I am planning on telling her, Ken-"

Before his father can finish, Kendall interrupts, "When?"

"Soon," Christopher replies, licking his lips slowly. "Soon, I promise."

They fall into another awkward silence and Kendall looks everywhere but at his father until the waitress comes back with their food. She sets the plates down in front of them and Kendall starts to eat, wanting to distract himself from the thoughts buzzing around in his head.

As he eats, Kendall starts to wonder if his life could get any worse - his father is cheating on his mother, his 'boyfriend' - who's not even his  _boyfriend_  - is a piece of shit, and he has virtually no friends. He laughs around a piece of burger and closes his eyes as he chews, thinking about the life before they moved to the big city. Sometimes Kendall misses it - what he can remember, anyway - and sometimes he thinks he'd be completely different, had he grown up in a smaller town.

Forty five minutes later, they leave the diner and Kendall thrusts the keys to the Lexus at his father's chest, not saying a word as they climb into the car. The ride back home is quiet and the radio stays off the whole way, which doesn't bother Kendall at all; he welcomes the silence and finds solace in it, thinking that music might just make him angrier.

When they get home, Kendall gets out of the car and slams the door with more force than necessary and stomps into the house before his father can say anything to him. He walks through the door, leaving it wide open as he does, and makes his way through the living room and up the stairs, boots clunking heavily against them.

Tears rim his eyes - hot and prickly - by the time he gets to his room and Kendall leans back against the door, letting his head fall back against the wood. A sigh escapes and he soon lets out a scream, letting his entire body crumple to the floor as the noise leaves his throat. Soon, it dies off and Kendall pants harshly, hands pressed against his eyes as he kneels on the floor with his eyes screwed shut.

Part of him wants to call James and see what he's doing, and another part just wants to raid the liquor cabinet and see how drunk he can get before his mother get homes. Thinking about his mother makes Kendall's heart ache and he pushes himself off the floor, kicking clothes out of the way as he moves toward his bed, flopping down on the mattress with a frustrated groan.

Despite the inner battle raging inside of him, Kendall grabs his phone from his pocket and brings his contacts up, selecting James' name. He brings a blank text message up and stares at the screen, fingers hovering over the keys before he types out,  _'Hey, what are you up to?'_

Even as the message sends, Kendall knows that it's done in vain; he knows that James won't reply to him because he's probably out with Mercedes or his jock buddies. Another groan leaves Kendall's throat and he tosses his phone onto his pillow, listening to the soft  _thwap_  as plastic meets fabric.

Kendall stares at the ceiling and folds his arms behind his head, listening to the sounds of cars coming down the street, wondering how many loving husbands are going home to their families. That thought sets it all off and Kendall screams again, louder this time, and hauls himself up off his bed.

The second Kendall gets to his feet, he kicks his boots off and barely winces when they hit the closet doors. Anger and hate and sadness pour through him, boiling in his blood as he tangles his fingers in the hair just above the nape of his neck. He's breathing hard and tears are streaming down his face when he thinks about his father with another woman - one who's  _probably_ younger than his mother - and the thought makes him sick.

He runs to the bathroom and skids to his knees on the floor, pushing the toilet seat up before losing the contents of his stomach. The world goes fuzzy and black around Kendall when he pushes away from the toilet and turns to lean back against the bathtub, staring at the guitar leaning against the wall in his room.

It takes Kendall ten minutes to calm down and, when he's well enough to stand, he pushes himself to his feet and goes over to the sink, turning it on. He splashes cold water onto his face and dries off with a towel from the rack, letting it fall to the tiles as he walks into his room again.

"Can't believe him," he mutters to himself, working on unbuttoning his shirt; when it's undone, he peels the fabric away and takes it back to the closet. After hanging the shirt up and grabbing a tank top from his dresser and putting it on, Kendall grabs his guitar and takes it to his bed, sitting with both legs crossed and tucked underneath each other.

The guitar rests comfortably on his thighs and he holds the neck with his left hand, dangling his right arm over the body of the instrument. Closing his eyes, Kendall holds down the strings and starts to play a song that he wrote a few years ago, something insignificant and shitty, but the sound of it calms him down.

Soon, Kendall's singing to his own song before his phone goes off; he contemplates just leaving it alone, but stops playing long enough to check the text messages, completely surprised to see that it's from James.

 _'Was out with Mercedes,'_  is James' reply and Kendall stares at the screen for a moment before shutting his phone off and tossing it back onto his pillow. With a heavy sigh, he turns back to his guitar and puts his hand back on the neck, fingers pressing down against the frets.

This time, Kendall starts playing a different song; he goes into the chorus of  _The Taste of Ink_  by The Used and starts singing at the top of his lungs. He loses himself in the music completely and pours his emotions out over the guitar, strumming each note carefully and perfectly, not wanting to mess anything up.

When his fingers hurt and feel like they're going to bleed and his throat is sore, Kendall puts his guitar away and grabs a pen and a notebook from his book bag, flipping the cover open to reveal a blank page. After clicking the pen, he puts it against the paper and starts to write about James and his parents and the way he feels isolated from everyone - and everything - around him.

Kendall gets lost in writing, just as he did singing and playing the guitar, and he lays on the bed on his stomach, scribbling words down quickly before turning another page. In fifteen minutes, he has three and a half pages filled with his thoughts and feelings - most of them being curse words and foul phrases toward James and his father that he would never utter aloud.

After a while, Kendall's wrist starts to cramp and he puts the notebook away, tucking it underneath his mattress before tossing the pen onto his nightstand. He wonders if his mother is home and pushes himself off the bed, swinging his legs over the side before standing up and moving toward the door cautiously.

He pokes his head out of the door and looks up and down the hallway, listening for any sign of life; when he doesn't hear anything, Kendall leaves his room and goes downstairs, finding a note and a stack of money on the kitchen counter. Snorting and rolling his eyes, Kendall goes to pick up the note, eyes scanning the words quickly: 'Had to go back to work and Jennifer won't be home until late. If you get hungry again, order yourself something to eat. -Dad.'

Kendall crumples the piece of paper and balls it in his fist before tossing it into the trash can at the end of the counter. It goes in and he looks at the money, moving a hand to pick it up, fingering through the bills quickly. He thinks it's strange how his father left him money when he has his own, and Kendall wonders if his fake ID would work at the liquor store in town.

Deciding that it probably wouldn't, he stuffs the money into his pocket and goes back upstairs to grab his phone and turn off the lights. The house feels too quiet around him and, for the second time that night, Kendall thinks about texting James back and seeing if he wants to come over.

The thought of James breaks Kendall's heart a little more, but his body yearns for his touch and to have that companionship, even if he's the only want that truly wants it. Even though he's screaming at himself mentally - calling himself an idiot and saying that he'll never be good enough for James - Kendall grabs his phone and turns it on as he walks back out into the hall.

As soon as the screen comes up, Kendall opens a new text message for James and types as he walks down the stairs.  _'Home alone. You wanna come over?'_ The message is sent by the time Kendall gets to the couch and he collapses on it, leaning forward to grab the remote before settling back and sprawling out on the cushions, phone laying on his leg.

Kendall stretches out across the couch until his feet touch the other end and he flips the television on, turning some show on the FoodNetwork on. He watches but doesn't pay attention, his mind and focus on his phone as he waits for James to reply. Just when he's about to give up, Kendall's phone buzzes and beeps loudly, his heart pounding as he picks it up.

 _'What are we going to do if I come over?'_  James replies and Kendall rolls his eyes.

 _'Hang out,'_  he types, sending the message quickly.

After a moment of waiting, Kendall gets a reply. _'You know the rules. We don't just hang out.'_

Kendall sighs and replies back,  _'I know the rules, and there might be a blowjob in it for you, if you come over.'_

As he waits for a reply, Kendall looks at the TV and chews on his lower lip, watching someone toss spinach - or at least, he thinks that's what it is - into a pan. "There's too much in there, it'll never cook," he mutters to himself, turning back to his phone when it buzzes.

 _'I'll be over in a few.'_  Despite himself, Kendall smiles and nods to the reply, before setting his phone on the coffee table, his body trembling as he settles back against the couch, laying his head against the arm.

Twenty minutes later, James knocks on the door and Kendall jumps up to answer it, moving across the foyer quickly, skidding on the floor a bit. He opens the door and motions for James to come in, smiling at the other boy once he's inside and under the light; Kendall can see that he's wearing a tight t-shirt and it's clinging to his biceps and shoulders perfectly. He almost moans at the sight, but bites back the noise.

"I was promised a blowjob." It's the first thing out of James' mouth and Kendall laughs, nodding his head as he shuts the door, before pulling the other boy toward the stairs. James goes willingly and holds his hands out, letting them hover over Kendall's hips for a moment before he wraps his fingers around them, allowing himself be pulled toward the staircase.

"Gotta go to my room, don't want my mom or dad coming in to find me on my knees, sucking your dick." Kendall laughs and he thinks he sees a hint of a smile on James' lips - but if it _was_  there, it's gone just as quickly as it came.

They take the stairs carefully and Kendall ushers James into his room, flipping the lights on before pushing the other boy toward the bed. "Pants off," he mutters, working on the button and fly of his owns jeans before wiggling out of them.

James turns to look at him, lifting an eyebrow before shrugging and turning back, undoing his jeans before pushing them down, along with his boxers. The fabric pools around his legs and James turns, lowering himself down until he's sitting on the edge of Kendall's bed, eyes darkening as they roam over him.

Tossing his jeans onto the floor, Kendall sinks to his knees in front of James and pushes the insides of his thighs until his legs are spread as far as they'll go. He looks up at James for a moment and moves a hand up his thigh slowly, inching his fingers toward the other boy's cock, watching as his eyes flutter shut, hazel irises hidden by a crop of long, beautiful eyelashes.

Once James' eyes are shut, Kendall starts to stroke his cock, moving his free hand up and down the other boy's thigh slowly, listening to his breathing slow down. A smirk pulls at the corner of Kendall's mouth and he ducks his head down, licking a broad stripe up the underside of James' hardening cock, pulling a low groan from his chest.

Kendall breathes in deeply and takes in the heady scent of James; he strokes his cock until it's fully hard and seals his lips around the head, sucking slowly. The tip of his tongue moves along the slit and Kendall listens to the way James moans above him, feeling a hand slide to the back of his head; it's neither encouraging nor discouraging, but Kendall takes it as a good sign and takes half of James' length into his mouth.

"Christ," James groans, gritting his teeth together as he grips Kendall's hair tightly, giving it a small tug. "Forgot how good you are with that mouth," he laughs, the noise rumbling deep in his chest, causing Kendall's heart to flutter again; he knows that James was just talking to hear his own voice, but the words make him swell with emotion.

Relaxing his throat and closing his eyes, Kendall takes as much of James' cock into his mouth as he can in one go. He swallows around him and then pulls off, swirling his tongue around the head as he moves a hand down, palming James' balls lightly, causing him to buck his hips toward Kendall's face.

Something changes in James and Kendall can feel it in the way he strokes the back of his head instead of scratches it; he can tell by the way that James is breathing and working his hips that he's not looking to get this over with and be done with Kendall. In a strange way, it almost feels as though James is savoring the moment as much as Kendall and, in that moment, it makes everything seem okay.

Kendall shifts his hand and cups James' balls, running his fingers over them slowly as he sucks his cock harder, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head up and down. Above him, James moans and groans, grunting something that sounds like his name, but Kendall can't be for sure, so he just assumes that it was and that makes him suck even harder.

"Not gonna," James starts, moaning in between phrases, "last long, Kendall." It's the first time in a while that James has said Kendall's name like that and it makes him moan around the other boy's length. He relaxes his throat again and, this time, takes all of James in one go, feeling the head of his cock hit the back of his throat and he gags a bit.

For a moment, Kendall sucks James' cock hard and fast, bobbing his head up and down and teasing his balls lightly until James thrusts his hips forward. He cries out, moaning loudly as his orgasm hits, shooting hot, thick ropes of come down the back of Kendall's throat; it's enough to make him gag and choke, but Kendall powers through it and swallows every drop before pulling back.

He glances at James and smirks at how spent he looks: his eyes are half-lidded and locked on Kendall, the teeniest bit of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. In that moment, Kendall wonders if he could get away with kissing James and decides to find out.

Bridging the gap between them and lifting a hand to curl around the back of James' neck, Kendall pushes up onto his knees and kisses the other boy roughly, slotting their lips together quickly. The kiss lasts a few seconds before James seems to snap out of his reverie and he pushes Kendall away, wiping his mouth frantically like Kendall had some disease and he was just exposed to it.

"What the hell?" James' voice is loud and angry and Kendall recoils away from it, sitting back on his heels with his hands on his lap. He wants to cry but doesn't allow himself to - doesn't grant James the satisfaction of knowing that  _he_  made Kendall cry.

Sniffling, Kendall shrugs and looks up at James with a broken expression. "I don't know, I just wanted to see what it'd be like to kiss you - without you being the one to start it," he mumbles, picking at the fabric of his boxers.

"I don't  _want_  to kiss you."

"I know," Kendall replies, voice soft and dejected. "Its one of the rules and I was stupid to think that you'd let me break them."

James laughs and pushes Kendall away with one of his feet. "Yeah, you can say that again," he mutters as he grabs his boxers and jeans, yanking them up as he stands, looking down at his zipper.

From his spot on the floor, Kendall can see the way James' hands are shaking and he leans up, redoing his jeans for him, only to have his hands smacked away when the button and zipper were done up.

"I have a girlfriend," James says, like Kendall doesn't know.

Nodding, Kendall bites his lip and stands in front of James. "I know."

"And I don't need another, you hear me? You're cute and all, but you're not my type; you're just someone I fuck when I can't have what I want with Mercedes." James' words sink in and cut Kendall deep; he stares at the other boy and chews his lip until he's sure it's going to bleed.

"Is that why you're  _always_  with me, James? Because she won't get on her hands and knees for you and let you fuck her any way you want? Or maybe she won't suck your cock. Maybe she doesn't do it as well as I do, is that it?" Kendall doesn't think before he speaks and the words just flow from his mouth before he has the chance to stop them or take them back - but he's not entirely sure that he'd want to take them back, even if he could.

The room goes quiet and James clenches his jaw, moving toward Kendall slowly; he stops right when he's in Kendall's face and clenches his hands into fists at his sides. "Yeah, maybe," he replies, voice angry and dripping with venom, "or maybe I like the fact that you're so fucking eager for it. You act all high and mighty when we're done and act like you're never gonna call again, but you do, don't you? You  _love_  that you're my little bitch, Knight. And as long as you're still around, that's what you're going to be."

Kendall sees red for a second and lets out a sharp bark of laughter that causes James to jump back but he keeps his jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists against his thighs.

"You know, I thought that I might have  _loved you_ ," Kendall admits, watching the way James' face crumbles for half a second before going hard again. "I was wrong and I just realized that. Yeah, sure, I loved your cock and I loved being able to suck it and have you fuck me whenever I wanted, but I'm not your bitch, James. I  _never_  was."

Neither of them move for a second and Kendall thinks that James is going to say something but instead, he wraps a hand around Kendall's throat and turns him, shoving him down against the bed. His eyes flutter shut and he tries to push James away, but he's bigger than Kendall, so he gives up and feels the hand around his throat move away.

The slap happens so quickly that Kendall's not even sure that it happened in the first place, not until he feels his cheek sting. He lets out a yelp and blinks his eyes, looking up at James with a soft expression before he clenches his jaw and pushes the other boy backwards.

James stumbles back and Kendall gets off the bed, moving toward him quickly, hands grabbing at his shirt once he's close enough. He gives James a shove and throws him into the hallway with all the strength he can muster. When Kendall goes out into the hall, James punches him square in the jaw and he goes reeling back, grabbing onto the door frame for support.

"Get out." The words come through barred teeth and Kendall watches James straighten himself up, smoothing both hands down the front of his shirt. When he makes no attempt to move, Kendall yells, "Are you deaf or just stupid? Get out of my house!"

Curling his lip back, James nods and holds his hands up. "I'm getting out of your house, before the fag stench ruins my clothes."

Kendall rolls his eyes at the insult and watches James walk down the hall before descending down the steps. A moment later, he follows and watches James disappear through the door, which slams behind him once he's on the porch. The noise echoes through the house and Kendall sighs, going down the stairs to lock the door and turn out the lights, his jaw and cheek throbbing painfully.

Once the lights are out, Kendall goes back upstairs and into the bathroom, grabbing a bottle of Advil; he twists the bottle open and shakes two pills out into the palm of his hand before taking them dry. He swallows them and turns the sink on, bending down to hold his mouth under the faucet, drinking a few mouthfuls of water before straightening up again.

Making his way back into his room, Kendall turns the light off and thinks about the night, turning it over in his mind and examining it at all angles, trying to figure out what went wrong and where. Of course, he knows what went wrong: he tried to kiss James, who obviously didn't want to be kissed, and he broke the rules.

"Fucking rules," Kendall mumbles as he gets into bed, pulling a thin sheet over his lower half, staring at the ceiling and listening to the faint sound of the TV downstairs. He thinks about going to turn it off but the pain in his jaw says otherwise and he sighs, closing his eyes slowly as he tries to block out the events of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: smoking, drinking, brief talk of masturbation, some fighting (verbal and physical but not much of the latter).]

Sunlight pours into his room and the sound of birds wakes Kendall up long before his alarm is scheduled to. He sighs and yawns, immediately wincing from the pain in his jaw, lifting a hand to touch it, memories of the previous night flooding through his mind. Groaning, he sits up and continues to rub his face tenderly, pressing his fingertips against his jaw, certain there'll be a bruise when he gets up to look in the mirror. The pain in his jaw radiates to his temple and spreads across his forehead, blooming into a full-blown headache in no time at all.

The chirping of the birds doesn't ease the pain and Kendall sighs deeply, dropping his hand away from his face as he stands, moving toward the pile of dirty laundry on his floor. He bends down and grabs a pair of pajama pants off the top and pulls them on as he walks to the door, stepping into the hallway once the elastic waistband is hanging low on his hips.

The hallway is quiet as Kendall moves to the stairs and he frowns, wondering where his parents could be. Taking the stairs carefully, Kendall works his jaw from side to side, groaning as pain shoots through his face and goes straight to his temple. He sighs deeply again and steps off the bottom stair, walking through the living room to get to the kitchen, noticing his mom sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper spread out in front of her.

"Morning," Kendall mumbles, trying not to move his jaw too much.

Jennifer looks up from her paper and smiles. "Good morning," she replies, studying Kendall carefully. "Why is your jaw swollen?"

His mother's question catches him off guard and Kendall stops dead in his tracks, frowning; he wasn't aware that his face was swollen and he curses James under his breath before turning to look at his mother. "Knocked myself in the face with my guitar," he lies, offering his mom a soft smile.

"Oh." Nodding, Jennifer turns away from Kendall, eyes going back to the newspaper. "There's fresh coffee in the pot and I can make you breakfast, if you want me to," she says, sounding distracted.

"I'll just drink coffee. I've gotta get ready for work soon, anyway." Kendall shrugs and moves toward the counter, leaning up to open the cabinet and grab a mug from the shelf. He sets the cup down onto the counter and shuts the cabinet before moving to grab the coffee pot, yawning as he pours coffee into his cup, lifting his free hand to rub his eyes.

"You have to go in early today?" Jennifer asks, and Kendall can feel her eyes on his back.

Once his cup is full, Kendall puts the coffee pot back where it was and nods. "Yeah, they're playing around with my schedule for some reason. Guess they decided to put me on the morning shift now that I'll be leaving in three months," he answers, snorting once the words have left his mouth.

The two of them fall into a comfortable silence and Kendall moves around the kitchen carefully, pouring sugar and creamer into his coffee before moving to the fridge for the milk. He can feel his mother watching his every move and he wonders, as he pours the milk into his cup, if his father told her about Samantha.

"So," his mother starts, breaking the silence as Kendall shuts the fridge with his hip. "I need to talk to you about something - something really important, so should I wait until you've had your coffee or just tell you now?"

"Is it about Samantha?" Kendall asks, taking a sip from his coffee as he sits across from his mother.

Jennifer blinks and her expression hardens as she nods. "You know about her."

"Yeah, dad took me out last night and told me about her. Not much, just clarified that he's not - and I repeat  _not_  - banging  _his_  secretary. It's a bunch of bullshit, if you ask me."

"She's not his secretary, Kendall." Despite the topic of their conversation, Jennifer's voice is calm and Kendall wonders how she can sit there and talk about his father's other woman without being angry. "But, we discussed it too. This morning, before he left for work and before you woke up."

Kendall nods and takes another sip of coffee. "So are you two getting a divorce?"

"I'm not sure," Jennifer responds, sighing after she speaks. "Probably not until you're off at college, unless we can work things out... but I doubt that will happen." She smiles sadly at her son and Kendall can see tears rimming her eyes, the urge to get up and hug his mother getting stronger by the second.

"He's a piece of shit," Kendall blurts out, setting his coffee cup on the table. "And I'm sorry he's doing this to you. He has no right, you know, while you're busting your ass to take care of me - of  _us._ "

A small peal of laughter leaves his mother's throat and Kendall can't help but smile. "It's not your fault, honey," Jennifer tells him, leaning across the table to place a hand on top of Kendall's, smoothing her thumb along his. "These things happen to people our age; people fall out of love and get interested in other things. It's no one's fault, really. Not even your father's."

Despite the calm tone of his mother's words, Kendall snorts and shakes his head, turning his hand over to squeeze hers. They sit like that for a moment, saying nothing and not really looking at each other until Jennifer breaks the silence again, her voice happier.

"Speaking of love," she laughs, patting Kendall's hand. "Have you found anyone special?"

For a moment, Kendall wants to say that he's been seeing James but he shakes his head and grabs his coffee, taking a long swig before setting it back down, sighing. "No, haven't found anyone special yet. Maybe when I start college I'll find someone," he mutters, giving his mom a smile.

"Hopefully. Being in love is one of the greatest things in the world, you know." Patting Kendall's hand one last time, Jennifer stands and grabs her empty cup and her newspaper, taking them both over to the sink. From the corner of his eye, Kendall watches as she puts the mug in the sink before folding the paper, her movements slow and seemingly sad.

Kendall's mood changes from wanting to hug his mother, to wanting to punch his father for making her sad. He pushes the anger down and finishes his coffee, taking the mug over to the sink, setting it down before wrapping his arms around his mother. She makes a noise of surprise that sounds like a choked off sob and Kendall rests his chin against her shoulder, hugging her tightly for a few minutes before Jennifer pulls away, swatting his arm playfully. "Go get ready for work," she mutters, forcing a smile even though Kendall can see the tears in her eyes.

Nodding, Kendall sighs and steps away from his mom. "Will you be here for dinner?"

"I should be, unless I get called in for an emergency." Jennifer looks down at the dishes in the sink and sighs, lifting a hand to run through her hair. It breaks Kendall's heart to see her like this and he sighs again, turning on his heels to leave the room, guilt and anger weighing heavily in his heart.

When he gets to the stairs, Kendall takes them two at a time and heads to his room quickly, moving toward the bathroom without stopping, determined to see just how bad his face looks. After flipping the lights on, he looks at his reflection in the mirror and sighs at the swell of his jaw, lifting a hand to touch it gently.

"Asshole," he mutters, before grabbing the bottle of Advil and shaking two pills out into his palm, taking them dry. Once the pills are down, Kendall takes his tank top off and pushes his pajama pants down, along with his boxers, before kicking them to the side. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, Kendall can see bruises in the shapes of fingers forming on his hips and he groans and turns away from his reflection, repulsed by himself and the way that he looks.

Cranking the hot water on high, Kendall steps in and nearly screams when the stream nearly scalds him; he adjusts the temperature and lets the water flow over his body, feeling his skin prickle and goosebumps break out wherever the stream hits. Even though he knows it can't, Kendall still wishes that the shower would wash away everything - the feelings for James and the feeling of being lonely, the bruises on his hips and the taste of James in his mouth, everything.

Kendall stands under the water for five minutes before he starts to wash himself, scrubbing every inch of his skin in an attempt to feel less disgusted in himself, to wash away every touch James has given him in the past two years. When he's done scrubbing his body, Kendall washes his hair and tangles his fingers in it, remembering the way James' fingers felt in the locks; the memory only makes him pull his hair and sob, hot tears streaming down his face, mixing with the shower water.

Once he's rinsed of all the suds, Kendall turns the shower off and steps out, letting his body drip dry on the bathroom rug before grabbing two towels. He wraps one around his waist and drapes the other over his head as he walks out of his room, shutting the bathroom light off on his way out. Water drips off his body and leaves a trail from the tub to the closet and Kendall stops in front of it, letting the towel on his head drop back so that it's draped over his shoulders.

The thought of calling in sick to work crosses his mind and Kendall immediately pushes it away, knowing this his father would yell at him if he called in sick and got fired from his job. A smirk pulls at the corner of his lips when he thinks about pissing his father off and Kendall feels okay in that moment; he feels like everything will get better, whether he thinks so or not, and he decides to push through it all and see what's in store for him for the next three months.

It doesn't take Kendall long to dry off and dress in his work uniform - an ugly olive green shirt with khaki shorts and a pair of black slip-on Vans - and he looks at himself in the mirror one last time as he brushes his still-wet hair. The swelling in his jaw (and face) doesn't seem as bad as he thought it was before and he takes a deep breath, setting his brush down on the edge of the sink.

Moving out of the bathroom, Kendall stops to grab his wallet, keys and phone, stuffing them all into his pockets as he leaves his bedroom. He takes the stairs quickly and heads into the kitchen where his mom is loading the dishwasher; she doesn't hear him come in and Kendall leans against the fridge, watching her for a moment.

"I'm leaving now," he says, laughing when his mother jumps. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright," his mother responds, turning to look at him with a smile. "Have a good day at work, okay? Text me if you'll be coming home late for any reasons." When Jennifer grins and winks at him, Kendall turns red and rolls his eyes, giving her a small wave before turning and going back through the living room.

He leaves the house and takes a deep breath, taking in the scent of the morning as he goes to his car. The world is still and quiet, save for a few people down the street that are mowing their lawns, and Kendall revels in the quietness, thankful for it for once. When he gets into his car, Kendall turns the engine on and turns the radio to his favourite station before backing out and heading toward his work, silently praying that he doesn't see James or anyone else in his circle of friends.

* * *

Kendall works quietly and keeps to himself for the first several hours of his shift, avoiding questions about his face and answering ones about the store or where a certain product is. When he takes his first break, Kendall is thankful to be away from people and takes solace in the quiet break room, until James and Jennifer Taylor come in, talking loudly and giggling to each other. The sight makes Kendall want to leave and go back to work, but he stays in his seat and watches as they cross the room to clock in.

Once they're clocked in, Jennifer takes a piece of paper out of her back pocket and posts it on the employee board, tacking it on before turning to leave the room with James, neither of them paying Kendall any attention. When they're gone, Kendall gets up and throws his empty soda bottle in the trash and inspects the piece of paper on the board, snorting when he realizes that Jennifer is throwing another party that night. Part of him doesn't care about the stupid party - or the people that will be there - but another part of him doesn't care and wants to go.

Deciding that he'll check the party out, Kendall makes a mental note of the time - eight o'clock - and leaves the room with his hands in his apron pocket, whistling under his breath as he makes his way to the store room. He shoulders one of the doors open and walks in, eyes scanning the place until they hone in on James, who's standing in the corner with a palette of canned food. The other boy has his back to the door and he seems to be talking to one of their supervisors, so Kendall tears his eyes away and goes to another palette, pulling a box cutter out of his pocket.

Twenty minutes pass and Kendall works on opening palette after palette, stacking things onto a dolly before pulling them toward the exit. He's about to take the merchandise into the store and stock it when he feels a hand on his shoulder and he turns, looking straight at James. Something burns in Kendall's chest and he huffs, turning his gaze back toward the dolly.

"Kendall, wait." James' voice is soft and it stops Kendall in his tracks.

Sighing, Kendall turns around and glares at James. "So I'm _Kendall_  now, huh?"

"You've _always_  been Kendall."

"Last night I was 'fag.' Or don't you remember that?" Kendall's words are harsh and he can see how they affect James and he revels in the fact that, for a brief moment, he's got James Diamond defeated. "And I thought you didn't need another girlfriend."

James laughs and shakes his head. "I don't," he replies, licking his lips after he speaks.

"Then what are you doing talking to me? Isn't it against the rules?" Keeping his voice soft, Kendall leans in closer to James. "I thought James Diamond was  _never_  allowed to break the rules."

"I wanted to see what you're doing after work." Kendall knows where James is going with that and he thinks about taking the boy up on his offer, but shakes his head violently as he pulls back.

"What's it matter to you?" Kendall mumbles the question as he opens the door, pulling the dolly through it, watching as James follows.

"It  _doesn't_  matter to me," James starts, rubbing his hands together as he watches Kendall, "but I wanted to see if maybe you'd feel up to fooling around in the bathroom." The thought of being fucked in a bathroom stall makes Kendall swallow hard and he shakes his head, navigating the dolly to the proper aisle, dragging it down halfway before stopping. "Please?"

Kendall lets out a harsh bark of laughter and shakes his head. "You're saying please now."

"Fuck off. If you don't want to, just say no." James sounds annoyed and Kendall grins.

"No. I've got better things to do, and you made it  _quite clear_  last night that you were done with me."

James stands and stares at Kendall for a moment before turning and walking back to the store room, stomping his feet the whole way. It makes Kendall laugh and he watches until the door swings shut behind James; when the other boy disappears, Kendall goes back to working and stocks the shelves quietly, humming to himself as he does - but he can't get James out of his mind, no matter how hard he tries.

By the time he gets off work and out of the store, Kendall is exhausted and sore all over, his mind swimming with thoughts of James and how it was when they first started messing around with each other. He can't remember James being so harsh and distant then, but figures it's only because he has Mercedes and she got under his skin like a virus and infected him with her stuck-up disease.

When Kendall gets home, he finds the house empty and looks for a note from his mother; he finds one explaining how she was called into work and that she was sorry. Sighing heavily, Kendall crumbles the note and tosses it into the trashcan before grabbing a couple beers out of the fridge, shutting the door with his hip before moving into the living room and to the stairs. As he makes his way to his bedroom, Kendall wonders if he'll ever be happy and if he'll ever find someone to take his mind off of James.

He gets to his room and goes inside, shutting and locking the door behind him before setting his beer on the nightstand. Without hesitation, Kendall strips down to his boxers and grabs his laptop, opening and turning it on as he settles against the headboard of his bed. He grabs a beer while his computer comes to life and drains half the contents before setting it back on the stand, eyes locked on his laptop's screen.

The first thing Kendall does is look up porn; he loads video after video and exits out of the duds, leaving the good ones up in other tabs. When he finds all the good porn he can, Kendall plays the best video first and drinks his beer as he watches, idly palming himself through his boxers through the entire thing. When he plays the second video, Kendall pushes his boxers down and settles his laptop on his knees, wrapping a hand around his cock as he watches a guy get fucked against the arm of a couch; it doesn't take long for Kendall to come and he nearly screams when his orgasm hits, the noise echoing and bouncing off the walls.

For the next couple of hours, Kendall drinks beer and downloads porn and music, listening and watching everything he downloads once it's done. The sun goes down quickly and he looks at the time, shutting his laptop when he realizes that it's almost eight o'clock. He lays his computer on his bed and drops his boxers, kicking them away as he goes to the closet and opens the doors, eyes scanning over the clothes inside. After a moment, Kendall grabs a pair of tight jeans and a yellow plaid shirt, tossing them onto his bed before moving to the dresser.

He grabs a pair of clean boxers and a tank top, pulling them on quickly, snapping the elastic of the boxers against his hips, wincing slightly at the pain. Once those are on, he grabs his jeans and pulls them on, letting them hang low on his ass, his boxers visible over top of the denim. Lastly, Kendall grabs the flannel shirt and pulls it on, leaving it unbuttoned as he rolls the sleeves up around his elbows.

After grabbing his phone and wallet out of his khakis and putting them in his jeans pockets, Kendall goes into the bathroom to give himself a once over before leaving the house and getting into his car. The sun has gone down completely by now and Kendall rolls the windows down as he backs out of the driveway, feeling a cool breeze blow over his skin as he shifts the car into drive.

* * *

When Kendall pulls up to the house, there are cars galore in the driveway and in the yard, so he parks down the block out of the way. He makes a note of where his car is parked before he heads toward the house, jogging across the street to avoid an oncoming car, waving at the driver in apology as he does. The closer he gets to the house, the more Kendall can smell beer and cigarette smoke and he breathes in deeply, taking the scent in and holding the air in his lungs for a moment before exhaling sharply.

As he walks into the house, Kendall looks around to see if he recognizes anyone and he realizes that he knows almost everyone at the party; he wonders how many more people are coming and cringes at the thought of seeing James. Determined not to let James - or  _thoughts_  of James - ruin his night, Kendall makes his way to the kitchen and finds a group of guys standing around a keg of beer, each of them holding a red plastic cup.

One of them smiles at Kendall and nods. "Hey," they greet him and Kendall can't help but smile.

"Hey. Can I get one of those?" He nods pointedly to the cups and the other boy hands him one that's half full. "Thanks," Kendall mumbles as he brings the cup to his mouth, taking a long sip of the cold beer and swallowing it quickly. He turns and walks back through the house, noticing that people are still pouring in through the front door and he stops in his tracks when he sees Jennifer Taylor standing with Mercedes Griffin.

Before he can turn away and run back into the kitchen, the two girls spot him and make a face at him; for a moment, Kendall is frozen and can't seem to move anywhere, but he manages to get his legs to work and goes back into the kitchen. He leans against the wall and sips his beer until it's almost gone and then he goes up to the keg for more.

An hour after, Kendall's leaning against the same spot on the wall, drinking his fifth cup of beer and listening to the other people talk and laugh around him. Music pours through the hallway from the living room and Kendall moves his hips to the beat, tapping his foot against the kitchen floor while he finishes off his beer. He contemplates going to get another when he hears a familiar voice rise above all the others and he drops his cup onto the table beside him when he realizes that James has arrived.

He thinks about leaving and gets halfway into the hall when someone stops him. Kendall looks up and stares at Jett Stetson, James' best friend and one of the other players on the hockey team. He's got a hand pressed against Kendall's chest and a smirk on his face like he did pre-gaming before the party and Kendall backs away from him before feeling a hand wrap around his shoulder.

"And why are you here, Knight?" Jett leans in as he speaks and Kendall can smell beer on his breath.

"Jennifer put the notice on the board at work," Kendall replies, clenching his jaw even through the pain. "What are  _you_  doing here?"

Jett laughs and rolls his eyes. "I was invited, dickweed."

"And you  _weren't_ ," Jennifer pipes up and Kendall swallows hard, closing his eyes.

"Should have written that on the invitation... but I guess you're not smart enough to think about that, huh?" The hand on his shoulder moves and wraps around his throat when Kendall stops talking and he pushes both hands against Jett's chest.

"Don't talk to her like that," he warns, face inches away from Kendall's, breath rolling over him as he loosens his grip.

Coughing, Kendall pushes Jett away and rubs his throat slowly. "I was just about to leave," Kendall offers, voice small and tight as he looks at Jett, eyes flicking toward Jennifer, then Mercedes, and finally James.

"Yeah," James starts, laughing between words, "get the fuck out of here before you get your ass kicked."

Kendall snorts and rolls his eyes, curling his lip back as he stares at James, thinking about punching him just one time and wondering if that would be enough to sate him. The truth is, it probably would; if Kendall could knock James out - or even just get one punch in - it would solve most of his problems and he could leave with a clear head.

"Did you hear him?" Jett growls, pushing a hand against Kendall's chest again, sending him sprawling back. "Get out before you get your ass kicked."

After another hard shove to the chest, Kendall falls on the ground and the crowd separates to let him fall. He stares up at Jett and James and Jennifer, eyes narrowing as he pushes himself up and onto his feet. "Yeah, Jett, I heard him but thank you for relaying the message to me anyway," he spits, pushing past Jett and the crowd to get outside.

He gets out onto the porch and takes a deep breath, leaning against the railing when he hears the crowd laughing behind him. Rage boils through his blood and Kendall clenches his fists, taking a few deep breaths in order to calm himself down. When he's halfway calm, Kendall turns to someone on the porch and bums a cigarette off them, letting the stranger lit the end before thanking them.

Walking down the steps, Kendall takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets the smoke flow between his lips, swirling in the night air. He watches the gray clouds float toward the sky and disappear, sighing as he takes another drag and steps out onto the sidewalk. He doesn't pay attention to where he's going and runs into someone, cursing around the filter of his cigarette.

"Shit, I am so sorry," he mutters, pulling the cigarette away from his lips as he stumbles back, looking at the boy in front of him. In the combination of moonlight and streetlight, Kendall can see his face perfectly and his heart thumps in his chest, breath hitching in his throat as the other boy laughs, shaking his head.

"It's alright," the boy replies, smoothing a hand over the front of his hoodie before lifting it and pulling the hood off. "Are you alright, man? You seem distracted."

Kendall stares at the boy and takes in everything about him - the short, dark hair and the tanned skin, the lopsided grin and the mole just off to the side underneath his mouth. It takes him a moment to realize that the boy spoke and he blinks, locking eyes with him. "What?" he asks, flicking his ashes onto the sidewalk.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm okay. Are you? I'm sorry I ran into you."

The boy laughs again and shakes his head, running his hand over his hair. "Yeah, I'm good," he replies, moving his hand down and extending it to Kendall with a smile. "I'm Carlos."

 _Carlos. God, even his name is sexy_ , Kendall thinks as he looks down at Carlos' hand, before slipping it into his own, shaking it carefully. "I'm Kendall. It's nice to meet you, Carlos."

"Likewise," Carlos replies, giving Kendall that lopsided grin as they drop their hands. "So, did you come from the Taylor's party or are you just walking around the town smelling like beer and cigarette smoke for the hell of it?" The words come out so easily and Kendall notices that Carlos has a slight accent and his heart pounds in his chest.

"Yeah, I came from the party." Kendall puts the cigarette between his lips and lets his eyes roam over Carlos' body slowly, noticing the boy's outfit for the first time. When he sees that Carlos is wearing a purple and black hoodie with ripped jeans and Converse, he bites back a moan and takes a long drag of his cigarette, dragging his eyes back up mumbling as he blows smoke, "Is that where you're going?"

Carlos nods and smirks, licking his lips. "Yeah, I've got some friends to meet."

"Cool," Kendall mumbles and flicks his ashes again. "I'm probably keeping you. I'll let you go," he adds in a hurry, putting the cigarette between his lips again, fingers wrapped around the filter easily.

"Alright," Carlos laughs and nods his head. "It was nice meeting you, Kendall. Maybe I'll see you again sometime." With a wink and one last grin, Carlos moves past Kendall and walks toward the house, hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie. Kendall turns around and watches him walk away, sucking in too deeply and coughing as he pulls the cigarette away.

For a moment, Carlos stops and Kendall thinks he's going to turn around, but he doesn't; the shorter boy keeps walking and Kendall can see him shake his head. That puts a grin on his face and he drops his cigarette onto the sidewalk, stubbing it out with the heel of his shoe before turning to walk back to his car.

The entire way, Kendall thinks about Carlos and bites his lip, feeling his cock harden in his jeans. He doesn't know what it is about Carlos that turns him on so badly, but he does know that he wants to see Carlos again - he  _has_  to see him again. By the time Kendall gets back to his car, he's going crazy thinking about Carlos and the way he licked his lips, picturing the grin on his face. He thinks about the way Carlos was dressed and how tan his skin was, these thoughts going straight to his cock and making him harder.

Pressing the heel of his hand against the front of his jeans, Kendall groans and tips his head back, staying like that for a moment before he hears a car rush by beside him. This pulls him away from his thoughts and he drops his head forward, eyes snapping and settling on the steering wheel. He starts the car a moment later and pulls away from the curb, driving past the house slowly and looking toward it, trying to get another glimpse of Carlos like his life depended on it.

He doesn't see the other boy and feels something tighten in his chest as he turns back to the road and drives home quietly, thoughts of Carlos and James filling his head. When he gets home, Kendall's confused and his heart is aching - along with his cock - and he just wants James to come over so they can have their meaningless sex and he can stop thinking about Carlos.

Kendall laughs at that notion: wanting James to distract him and take his mind off of someone he just met - a stranger, and someone who could be straight for all Kendall knows. When he thinks about Carlos being straight, Kendall feels worse than before and he trudges up the stairs and to his room, falling face first onto his mattress. He lets out a frustrated scream and tears his flannel off, tossing it onto the floor behind him before toeing his shoes off and kicking them away.

In less than a minute, Kendall is naked and under the covers, eyes closed and mind wandering; he thinks about college and his future, thinks about tan skin under his pale fingers and full lips pressed against his own. He dreams of Carlos saying his name and hands roaming all over his body, Carlos' fingers desperately searching every inch of Kendall's skin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: a little bit of drinking, smoking (both pot and cigarettes), lip biting.]

Carlos is all Kendall can think about for two weeks after the party and he thinks he's going crazy whenever he thinks about the boy. He pictures him everywhere and even thinks he sees Carlos at work and whenever he goes out on his own. Of course, Carlos isn't there and Kendall's left feeling like an insane dumbass for thinking about him so much, when he hardly knows Carlos at all. Still, the thoughts distract Kendall from his life and he throws himself into fantasies of Carlos whenever things get bad, or whenever his parents fight - which they do whenever they're in the house together.

One night when his parents are arguing, Kendall slips out of the house with a beer and sits in the front yard, his feet on the sidewalk, watching the cars pass by and happy families playing in their front yards. He envies them and their happiness and the ability to actually get along with one another and he drains his beer quickly, tossing it near the trash can. It clatters to the sidewalk and rolls away, prompting Kendall to get to his feet and chase it until it finally stops.

"That's littering you know." The voice startles Kendall and he bends down to snatch the empty bottle off the sidewalk, before straightening up to look at where the voice came from. A girl is standing a few feet away from him, dark brown hair spilling over her shoulders in big curls and her hands on her hips, eyebrows lifted slightly. Kendall looks at her for a second, turning his head to the side, trying to remember where he's seen her before as he shifts the beer bottle from one hand to the other. "I'm Camille," the girl offers, smiling brightly at him.

 _Camille_ , Kendall repeats mentally, scrunching his nose. "I've never seen you around here before."

"I just moved in a couple of doors down," Camille explains, laughing softly at the expression on Kendall's face. "Are you going to introduce yourself or am I going to have to call you Blondie until I can find your name out? And I _will_  find it out." She points a finger at Kendall and he smirks, shaking his head slowly.

"My name is Kendall. Sorry, my head's not in the right place." He bridges the gap between them and extends his free hand, giving Camille a bright smile, flashing his dimples. "It's nice to meet you. And welcome to the neighborhood."

Camille takes his hand and shakes it, leaving the other on her hip. "Nice to meet you too, and thanks. It's not so bad here, I guess. You're the only person my age I've met around here - everyone else is under thirteen."

"Yeah," Kendall laughs, slipping his hand out of Camille's. "It's nice to have another teenager around here. How old are you, anyway? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"I don't mind. I'm seventeen, how about you?"

"Eighteen and just graduated, going to school in the fall," Kendall answers, his smile softening.

"That's great! What are you going to school for? And where?"

Camille's questions are rapid-fire and he laughs at her enthusiasm, shrugging his shoulders. "Why don't we get out of here and go talk. I kind of don't wanna be at home right now and I don't think my parents will miss me if I'm gone for a while."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Camille asks, her lips curling into a slight grin.

"No offense, but no. I'm into guys," Kendall admits, and it's the first time he's said it out loud to anyone but himself.

Nodding, Camille slips her hands into her back pockets. "That's cool, I'm not really into guys anyway. I don't know what I'm into, but I'm not really ready to figure it out, you know? I want to start my acting career before I settle down with anyone... but that's not to say I won't have fun with  _someone_."

They both laugh and Kendall nods his head, turning to toss the beer bottle into the trash. "You want to walk? I know this coffee shop not too far away that's pretty quiet. We should be able to talk there without being noticed or overheard."

"Sure," Camille agrees, pulling her hands out of her pockets before hooking an arm out to Kendall. "I'd like to see more of the neighborhood anyway, and walking seems like the best way to do that."

Kendall hooks his arm in Camille's and nods, smiling. "It is, but there's not much to see here. Are your parents going to be worried that you're not at home? Or should we stop and tell them where we're going?"

"They won't care. I told them I was going for a walk and they practically ignored me, so I doubt they'll be calling the police if I leave for an hour or two," Camille laughs as they start to walk, tightening her grip on Kendall's arm. "So, you're gay?"

"Yep. What about you? You never really specified, so I figure you're bisexual?"

Camille shakes her head and leans against Kendall. "I'm mostly into girls, but if the right looking guy came along, I can't say that I would turn him down. Can't be super beefy or buff or masculine... I want someone like you, I guess."

"Gee," Kendall laughs, nudging Camille lightly. "Thanks for that compliment."

"It was a compliment! You're gorgeous, with your dirty blonde hair and your dimples. I saw you flashing them earlier, you know they're sexy."

Kendall laughs and is surprised at how good he feels with Camille, though he just met her and knows absolutely nothing about her. It's nice to have someone to talk to and connect with that doesn't know what's going on with his parents or that he's the token gay kid of the town. Being with Camille makes Kendall feel happy and he walks with her, their arms linked, letting the happy feeling wash over him.

"That's what happens when I smile," Kendall corrects, his tone light. "And my hair is not dirty blonde, it's light brown, thank you very much."

"Oh,  _excuse me -_  light brown hair with hints of blonde in it. Is that better?"

"Much better, thank you." Kendall and Camille laugh together, the noise filling the air as the sun starts to set behind them.

They walk together and talk about various things, Camille asking Kendall if he's ever had sex with another guy. When he answers yes, she throws question after question at him, like is he the top or the bottom? Does he like giving head? What's it feel like to have anal sex? Does he have a boyfriend? Why not?

Kendall answers all of her questions easily and by the time they get to the coffee shop, he's told her almost everything about his life, save for the fact about his parents and the incidents with James. They go into the small cafe and order coffee at the counter before taking it to a small table in the corner, where they sit away from each other and gossip more.

"What are you going to school for?" Camille asks before taking a sip of her coffee, looking at him over the mug.

"Music." The answer comes out automatically and Kendall takes a small sip from his own cup, setting it down on the table. "I want to either become a performer or I want to go into music production."

Camille's eyes widen and her eyebrows shoot up as she grins. "You're a musician? What do you play?"

"Guitar, piano, and drums. I sing, too, but mostly just play guitar." Kendall feels his cheeks burn as he talks about himself and he chews on his lower lip, running a fingertip along the rim of his coffee cup.

"Will you play something for me sometime? I bet you're awesome and sexy when you've got a guitar in your hands." Kendall blushes more at Camille's words and she laughs at him, leaning over to pat his hand. "You're cute when you blush, you know that?"

Licking his lips, Kendall shakes his head and laughs. "Thanks. Not everyone would agree, but thank you."

"So, do you have a crush on anyone?" The question comes out of nowhere and Kendall's mind automatically goes to Carlos, thinking of his grin and he starts to blush more, nodding his head a little. "Tell me about him!"

"Well, I only just met him a couple of weeks ago but he's been in my mind since then. I only know his name - Carlos." Kendall shrugs and lifts his coffee again, taking a long sip before setting it back down, looking at Camille.

"That's a sexy name, Carlos. Is he sexy? I bet he is." Camille grins and takes another sip of her coffee.

Kendall laughs and nods his head. "He's  _very_  sexy."

"Tell me what he looks like, silly!" After setting her cup down, Camille puts her elbows on the table and leans onto her hands, cradling her face in her palms, fingers touching her ears.

"Ah, I don't really know much about his appearance - it was dark when we met, so I only caught a glimpse under the streetlight... but he's shorter than me by a couple of inches. Maybe two? Three at most, that's it. And he's got short black hair, tanned skin and a grin that turns me on so bad it hurts."

Camille giggles and listens to Kendall intently, nodding her head. "You need to find Carlos and get you some Latin passion."

" _Latin passion_  - really, Camille?" Kendall laughs, shaking his head as he straightens up in his seat, grabbing his coffee. "Besides, I'll probably never see him again in my life, so I'm just going to fantasize about him and wish that I could see him."

"Well, someone's got to know who he is. Where'd you meet him?"

"Outside of a party," Kendall answers, suddenly remembering how Carlos seemed to know Jennifer and her family. "He knew the last name of the girl who threw it, so maybe her sister knows his last name or knows where I can find him."

Camille pulls her head away from her hands and claps, startling Kendall. "Sorry," she laughs, biting her lip to keep more giggles from escaping, "but you should call her sister and see if she knows anything. I bet she does - and if she doesn't, you can always go to the girl who threw the party, right?"

"Right," Kendall snorts before downing his coffee, licking his lips quickly. "She hates me and I'm not too fond of her myself."

"That sucks," Camille sighs, finishing her own coffee off before standing, extending a hand to Kendall. "We should get going before your parents go to look for you and think someone stole you."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall stands and puts his hand in Camille's, squeezing it. "They'd probably think I ran off and my dad would blame my mom and my mom would blame him," he mutters, pushing his chair in before turning to Camille. "I forgot to mention that my parents are fighting. That's why I was sitting out on the curb with a bottle of beer."

Camille nods and squeezes Kendall's hand lightly. "I was wondering why you were outside all alone, but now it makes sense."

"Yeah, but it was nice to not be alone." Kendall smiles at Camille and she smiles back, nodding as they make their way out of the coffee shop and onto the sidewalk. "We should hang out again soon, since you're my new neighbor and all."

"I'd like that. It'd keep me from wanting to bash my head against the wall when I'm stuck in the house with my parents."

The two of them laugh together and walk back home hand in hand; it's the first time Kendall feels like he has a real friend and he feels happier than he did an hour ago, sitting on his curb. When they get to Camille's house, Kendall takes his phone out and types her number in before relaying his own to her, watching as she punches it into her phone.

"See you around, Blondie." Camille winks and turns away, skipping up the steps before Kendall can say anything. He shakes his head and waves to her, waiting until she's in the house before turning to walk toward his own.

The yard is illuminated by the porch light and Kendall notices that his father's car is gone. It's no surprise but he sighs anyway, pinching the bridge of his nose as he walks up the steps and into the house, toeing his shoes off near the door. He can hear things moving around in the kitchen and he walks toward the noise, watching his mother move around the room, putting things on the table. Her face lights up when she sees Kendall and she motions for him to come in, gesturing to the table with a pot holder.

"Where'd you run off to?" Jennifer asks as she turns the stove off and grabs a pot, bringing it to the table as Kendall sits down.

"I was sitting outside and met our new neighbor, Camille."

Jennifer bites her lip and nods, sighing as she sits down next to her son. "I'm sorry we drove you out of the house. It's just... your father is so  _infuriating_  and nothing gets through that thick skull of his," she explains, pushing her bangs out of her eyes and tucking the locks behind her ear.

"It's fine," Kendall lies, as he reaches over and starts plating food, putting it in front of him. "I didn't leave because you two were fighting, I just wanted some fresh air and it was nice outside. Camille and I walked all the way to the coffee shop and had a nice time."

"So you two are friends, you and this Camille girl?" Jennifer asks, smiling softly.

Nodding, Kendall starts to eat and chews slowly before swallowing and answering, "Yeah. We got along from the moment we met and I think she's going to be a great friend."

"Well," his mother starts as she fixes her own plate, "I'm glad you have a friend to spend the summer with. You'll need someone to spend time with, what with me and your father working all the time and never being around."

Kendall eats as his mother talks and thinks about all the things he's done since he's been alone: he's downloaded plenty of porn to last him until he starts college, along with album after album of music, and he's had more time to write songs and play his guitar without anyone complaining about it being too loud. He thinks about all these things and then things about hanging out with Camille, wondering if he'll miss spending hours upon hours alone in his room, watching video after video of men fucking each other. The answer is no, he won't miss it at all because he hates being lonely and he knows that Camille is someone he can hang out with whenever he needs her.

"Yeah," Kendall agrees and then he falls silent, eating dinner with his mother while he thinks about Camille and Carlos and the rest of his summer vacation. He thinks about Camille's suggestion of asking Jennifer's sister if she knows Carlos and he decides that he'll ask her tomorrow at work when he sees her, figuring it won't do any harm.

They eat in silence and Jennifer finishes first, taking her plate to the sink, leaving Kendall alone at the table. He chews thoughtfully and listens to dishes clink around in the sink and sighs, finishing his dinner before taking his own dish to the sink. The silence between him and his mother is unbearable and Kendall hugs her tightly, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm gonna go to bed early," he mumbles when he pulls away.

"Me too," Jennifer agrees, smiling at her son. "Goodnight, sweetheart. Have a good day tomorrow, alright?"

"I will," Kendall promises. "Have a good day at work," he adds before hugging his mom one last time. "Goodnight, I love you." After kissing his mother's cheek one last time, Kendall leaves the kitchen and goes upstairs, yawning hugely as he enters his bedroom, rubbing the heel of his hand against his eye.

He undresses quickly and slides into bed, pulling the sheets over his chest before turning onto his side. In moments, he's asleep and dreaming about Carlos like he has for the past two weeks, letting himself be immersed in his fantasies about Carlos until the morning.

* * *

The next day, Kendall goes in to work at nine in the morning and eagerly awaits for noon because that's when Jo is scheduled to come in. He works quietly, like always, and hums to himself, feeling happier than he ever has; some people notice and they ask what's put him in such a good mood and Kendall shrugs his shoulders, only offering the person a smile in response.

At fifteen minutes til twelve, Kendall takes a smoke break and hangs out by the employee entrance, watching out for Jo as he smokes his cigarette, flicking ashes onto the patch of grass beside the small walkway. When he finally spots Jo, Kendall puts his cigarette out and straightens up, smiling brightly at her as she gets closer.

Jo stops in front of him and smiles. "Hey."

"Hey Jo. How are you doing today?"

"I'm alright," she answers, giggling a little. "How are you? You seem good."

Nodding, Kendall lets his smile spread. "I'm doing great, thanks. I was actually wondering if I could ask you a question?"

"You just did," Jo points out, smirking.

"Ha ha," Kendall laughs, slipping his hands into the pocket of his apron. "But can I ask you something? For real."

Jo nods and pushes her hair out of her eyes, looking up at him with a small smile. "Sure - ask away, Knight."

Kendall takes a deep breath and licks his lips. "You know the party your sister threw a couple of weeks ago?" Jo nods again as he talks and purses her lips together, eyebrows lifted as if to say _'yeah, keep going.'_ "Well, I kind of met someone at the party but I didn't get a last name or a number, so I was hoping that you could help me?"

"You want me to give you the last name of some girl?" Jo's tone sounds jealous and hurt and she looks down at the ground, toeing the concrete with her shoe. It breaks Kendall's heart and he sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his head.

"No," he starts, sighing heavily. "I want you to give me the last name of a - of  _a guy_."

When Jo looks back up at him, her eyes are wide and her lips are parted slightly; she's giving Kendall a look of shock and he laughs quietly, licking his lips once as he rocks back on his heels. "A guy?"

"Yes." Kendall answers, voice quiet. "Please, Jo?"

"Okay, do you have a first name?" She asks, the tone of her voice much different than it had been a moment ago.

"Carlos. He's short, black hair, I think he's Me-"

Jo laughs and shakes her head, interrupting, "I know who Carlos is."

"You do?" Kendall's face lights up when he hears that and he smiles broadly. "Do you know a last name?"

"I know more than a last name. I can tell you where he works, if you want to go see him."

Kendall's heart beats hard in his chest and he nods his head slowly, moving his hand from the back of his head down the side of his neck, scratching lightly at it. "That'd be great, Jo. Thank you."

"No problem," Jo mutters as she turns to her purse, grabbing a notepad and a pen from inside. "I didn't know you were gay," she says as she scribbles on the piece of paper before tearing it off.

"No one knows," Kendall replies, chuckling. "Well, a few people know now - but don't tell anyone else, okay? I'd kind of like it to stay a secret until I'm in Boston. That way it doesn't matter who says what about me, because I'll be fourteen hundred miles away and I won't care what anyone thinks about me."

When Jo turns to look at him, she nods and hands him the piece of paper. "I won't tell anyone, I promise. But I don't know if Carlos is gay or bisexual, so I hope you don't get your heartbroken."

"Thanks." Kendall takes the piece of paper and folds it, shoving it into the pocket of his khakis before hugging Jo awkwardly. She hugs back and seems to hold on tightly before they ease away and he smiles at her. "Seriously, Jo - thank you so much."

"What are friends for?" Jo's voice is small and her smile is sad, but Kendall is too excited to pay attention to it. He gives her another big smile and turns to walk back into the store, his entire body thrumming with excitement as he goes back to work, leaving Jo outside by herself.

Kendall works until six o'clock and heads home after clocking out, immediately tearing his ugly work shirt off as he makes his way upstairs. Once he's in his bedroom, Kendall goes to the closet and picks out a different outfit, deciding on a blue plaid shirt and a pair of tight jeans. He puts a tank top on underneath the button-up and pulls his jeans on quickly, letting the waistband sit low on his ass like he likes it.

Before leaving, Kendall grabs the piece of paper out of his work pants and reads it quickly, realizing that the address written on it is for a garage a couple of blocks away from where he works. Suddenly, he thinks about Carlos being a mechanic and swallows hard, going outside to get into his car, wondering what kind of lie he can conjure up in order to see Carlos.

On the drive to the garage, Kendall's nerves shoot through the roof and he tries to calm himself down, contemplating turning around and giving up a few times before the building comes into view. He looks at the place and turns into the parking lot, parking in front of the office building, letting his car run for a moment before he turns it off.

With a heavy sigh, Kendall gets out of the car and walks toward the office, rolling his sleeves up around his elbows before he walks into the building, sighing at the difference in temperatures. The inside of the office is cold and Kendall closes his eyes for a second, breathing in deeply before blinking his eyes open and staring at the desk in the middle of the room.

A guy that looks no older than Kendall is sitting at the desk, flipping through a car parts magazine and bobbing his head to the music that's playing low from a speaker in the corner. Swallowing hard and clearing his throat, Kendall steps forward and shoves his keys into his back pocket, sliding his hands into the front ones.

The guy looks up and smiles at Kendall. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, uh... my brakes are squeaking real bad. I was wondering if someone could check them for me?"

"Sure, hold on a moment." The boy moves away and Kendall catches a glimpse of the name tag stitched on his work shirt. It says the boy's name is Logan and Kendall takes a deep breath, looking around the office as he listens to the music playing, finding himself tapping his foot against the floor in time with the beat.

After a couple of minutes, a door squeaks open and Kendall turns his head toward the noise, heart jumping in his chest when he sees Carlos. He's wearing a mechanic's jumpsuit and has the top unzipped and the sleeves tied around his waist. There's grease all the way up his arms and Kendall noticed, finally, that Carlos is wearing a tight tank top underneath his work clothes.

"This guy wants his brakes checked," Logan explains, moving toward the desk with Carlos in tow.

When Carlos looks up and sees Kendall, a grin spreads across his face. "Hey, I know you."

"Yeah," Kendall replies, laughing quietly. "We met a few weeks ago, at a party."

"Yeah, yeah. You're... Kendall, right?" Carlos screws his face up and points a grease-stained finger toward Kendall, who nods in agreement and keeps his lips pursed together. "Nice to see you again, man," he says to Kendall before turning to Logan. "This is the kid I told you about, the one that almost ran me over."

 _Oh god_ , Kendall thinks,  _he's told his friend about me - and he said I almost ran him over!_  His face burns and Kendall chews on his lower lip, rolling his shoulders back until Carlos and Logan turn back and smile brightly at him. "Nice to meet you, Kendall. My names' Logan - I'm Carlos' best friend and co-worker."

" _Employee_ ," Carlos corrects, grinning at his best friend. "Nah, really - we just work together and I've known him since I was a little kid, isn't that right, _Logie_?"

"Cut that shit out while we're at work,  _Carlitos_." Logan and Carlos laugh and Kendall feels his face burn even more as he stands there, feeling like an intruder on some inside joke between the two friends. "No, but Kendall asked if someone could look at his brakes, and I figured I'd ask you since everyone else is M.I.A."

Carlos nods and looks at Kendall, rubbing his hands together. "Shall we?"

"Huh?" Kendall asks, blinking at Carlos, who laughs at him.

"You're cute," Carlos mumbles before moving toward the door. "C'mon, let's check those brakes out, okay?"

Blushing harder than ever, Kendall follows Carlos outside and motions toward his black Audi A5. He slips his hands into his pocket and watches as Carlos walks toward the car, listening to him whistle.

When he turns around, Carlos grins at Kendall. " _This_  is your car?"

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason. I've never worked on an Audi before, so I may not be the best person to check the brakes," Carlos mumbles, walking back toward Kendall, slipping his hands into the front of his jumpsuit. "But it's nice to see you again. I've been wondering about you, just didn't know how to get hold of you or something."

Kendall's breath catches in his throat and he stares at Carlos with wide eyes, seeing him in the evening light. He notices the colour of Carlos' eyes for the first time and he swallows hard, clearing his throat as he nods. "I've been wondering the same thing, but here we are. Who knew you were a mechanic?"

"Not you," Carlos quips, chuckling. "And I'm not a mechanic, yet. I'm just in training. My buddy Gustavo owns this place and lets me learn from his employees - Logan and me both, actually."

"Logan seems nice," Kendall mumbles, eyes grazing up and down Carlos, trying to take it all in; he can smell grease and oil coming off him and from behind them in the garage and wonders what Carlos smells like when he's not at work. "And thanks anyway, for offering to look at my brakes. I guess I'll just take them to the dealership," he lies, giving the other boy a smile.

"No problem. Hey, you wanna hang out tonight?" Carlos' question is nonchalant and friendly, but it catches Kendall off guard and he blinks at the boy, staring at him with his mouth open. "Dude, chill out. I only asked to hang out, not for you to help me rob a bank or something. I just asked 'cause we haven't seen each other in a while and I think you'd be cool to hang out with."

Kendall's mouth goes dry and he nods dumbly. "Yeah," he croaks and clears his throat before continuing, "I'd love to hang out. When?"

"I get off in half an hour, so you're welcome to hang around, talk to Logan while I finish up with a few things."

"Alright, sounds cool." Kendall smiles and bites his lip when Carlos grins in return, following him back into the office building, where Logan was peeping through the blinds.

"Dude," Logan says when they're inside, "is that Audi yours?"

Carlos laughs and answers before Kendall can. "Yep, it's all his. You two talk while I go finish things up with Gustavo, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, we'll get to know each other while you're making the money." Logan rolls his eyes and moves out of the way before Carlos can smack his arm, grinning triumphantly as Carlos walks away. Kendall watches them interact and swallows hard, moving to sit in a chair along the wall, surprised when Logan follows and sits in one next to him. "So, an Audi."

"My dad bought it as an early graduation gift," Kendall responds, turning in his seat to look at Logan, who's shaking his head and whistling. "It's a great car to drive, maybe I'll let you and Carlos take it for a spin sometime."

Logan's face brightens and he chuckles. "Yeah, I'd like that. I know Carlos will flip shit if you let him."

Kendall laughs and pulls a leg up, laying it across his knee as he looks around the office, listening to the sound of tools being used in the garage. "So you've known Carlos since you were kids, right?"

"Mhm," Logan responds, tipping his head back against the wall. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering, is he uh..." Kendall stops himself and catches his tongue between his teeth.

"Is he what?"

Taking a deep breath, Kendall shakes his head and looks at Logan. "It doesn't matter, forget I said anything."

"I can't do that," Logan says, pulling his head back toward his chest, giving Kendall a grin. "What? You wanna know if he's gay or something?" Something in Kendall's expression must have given him away because Logan laughs and nods his head. "He is, and I love him as much as I did when we were five."

"That's good," Kendall says, blushing when he realizes how that sounds. "I mean, that you love him still."

Lifting an eyebrow, Logan looks Kendall up and down and chuckles. "Yep, and I want him to find someone that makes him happy.. but if he doesn't? I get to punch the asshole that breaks his heart, so it's a win win for both of us."

Kendall laughs and nods his head, turning in his seat to lean back against it, slumping in his chair. He stares at his hands and picks at the inseam of his jeans, listening to the noises around them. He and Logan fall into a comfortable silence and Kendall breaks it by saying, "I'm gay, too. That's why I wanted to know."

"I figured," Logan replies and Kendall turns to catch him smiling. "And I figure you've got a crush on Carlos. Am I right?"

Making a noise in the back of his throat and lifting his hands to cover his face, Kendall nods and laughs against his palms, peeking through his fingers to look at Logan again. All of his fear and anxiety goes out the window when he sees Logan smile and Kendall drops his hands, settling them on his knees as he places both feet on the ground. "So, are you hanging out with us tonight?"

Logan shakes his head and licks his lips. "I had no idea Carlos was going to hang out with anyone tonight. So, no, I'm not. It's just going to be you two," he replies, grinning at the way Kendall's cheeks turn a bright crimson as he mutters 'oh' under his breath.

The door opens and Carlos comes back in, wearing a pair of baggy jeans and his grease-stained tank top. He's got a gray shirt in his hands and he's followed by an older man, who's talking to him and moving his hands. The two of them stop and Carlos pulls the t-shirt over his tank top and turns to look at Kendall and Logan, smiling.

"Gustavo, this is Kendall. Kendall, Gustavo, my boss and mentor." He laughs and throws his head back a little, exposing his neck to Kendall and he has a hard time taking his eyes away from Carlos' skin. Thought of biting and licking and sucking on his neck makes Kendall groan and he finally forces himself to look away, eyes settling on Gustavo.

"Hi," Kendall replies, lifting a hand to wave meekly.

The older man smiles and tips his head toward Kendall. "Nice to meet you, Kendall. Logan, why aren't you working?"

"I was talking to Kendall, chill out." Logan holds his hands up and stands, laughing as he rounds the desk and sits down in his chair, turning toward a computer screen.

"I don't pay you dogs to talk to people - I pay you to  _work_." Even though his words sound harsh, Gustavo's tone is playful and he turns back to Carlos, patting him on the shoulder. "You did good today. I'll see you on Monday," he turns to Kendall and smiles. "It was real nice meeting you, Kendall."

Nodding, Kendall gets to his feet and rubs his hands on his jeans. "You too, G-gustavo."

The three men laugh and Kendall blushes again, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he watches Carlos go to the wall; he clocks out and puts his slip back with all the others, before walking over to Kendall with a grin. That grin makes Kendall's knees go weak and he swallows hard, licking his lips before returning Carlos' grin with a small one of his own.

"Ready to get out of here?" He asks, hands in his pockets, teeth caught on his lower lip.

"Yeah, I'm ready. It was nice meeting you, Logan," Kendall says he turns to look at the other boy, lifting a hand to wave at him.

"You too," Logan replies, winking. "Hope to see you again soon. Maybe we can all hang out together."

Carlos turns and pulls a hand out of his pocket, flipping Logan off. "See you around, asshole."

With a laugh, Logan returns the crude gesture and waves Carlos and Kendall out of the office, laughing until they're out of the building. Once they're outside, Kendall takes a deep breath and lifts a hand to scratch the nape of his neck, looking down at Carlos. "So," he starts, chuckling nervously, "where do you want to go?"

"We can just drive, go look for some place to park and sit. I've got some pot, if you smoke it?" Carlos turns his face up and looks at Kendall, smiling at him with that stupid fucking smirk that makes Kendall's heart thump in his chest. Without thinking, Kendall nods his head and rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"Your car or mine?"

Carlos shrugs a shoulder and looks at Kendall's car. "Could take yours, but I have to be dropped back off to get mine, when we're done."

"I can do that." Kendall's words are rushed and he bites his lip when Carlos laughs at him, pulling his gaze back. Their eyes lock for a second and Carlos lifts his hand, running his forefinger across his lower lip thoughtfully. That one, simple action makes Kendall groan quietly and he bites his lip, watching as Carlos turns to walk away.

The other boy goes to his car and Kendall leans against his own, exhaling sharply as he stares at the sky, letting his eyes roam over the streaks of purple and orange that cross over the dark blue horizon. He doesn't notice when Carlos comes back, not until he feels something poke his stomach and he doubles over, letting out a loud 'ow.'

"Sorry about that," Carlos mumbles, patting Kendall on the shoulder. "You were just spacing out, and I didn't want to scare you."

Kendall straightens up and nods, grabbing his keys from his pocket. "It's alright," he says, smiling at Carlos before turning away and opening the door. He climbs in behind the steering wheel and starts the car quickly, watching Carlos walk around the front before he gets into the passenger seat.

"Damn," he mutters, looking around the inside. "Just as beautiful on the inside as it is on the out."

"Glad you think so." Kendall smirks and backs out of the parking spot before pulling out of the lot and onto the main road. The sun starts to set and everything fades into darkness slowly. "Any particular place you wanna drive to? Or do you want it to be a surprise?"

The car goes quiet for a moment before Carlos speaks up. "There's a field not too far away from here. It's deserted, has some trees and really tall grass.. we could go there, if you want?"

"I know where you're talking about," Kendall says as he drives toward their destination. "So, your friends are nice. Especially Logan, I really like him."

"Well, too bad - he's straight as they get," Carlos jokes, turning his head to watch Kendall. "They're great guys, Gustavo and Logan are. Really nice and they're always there for me when I need them."

Kendall nods and watches the road as Carlos talks, just enjoying the sound of his voice and the way he says certain words. Before he knows it, they're pulling up to the field and he turns onto a dirt road, taking the Audi down it carefully, listening to the gravel crunch underneath the wheels. He kills the headlights when they get far enough into the field and stops when Carlos instructs him to, cutting the engine off.

"Alright, come on." Carlos opens the door and climbs out, disappearing into the dark, leaving Kendall to watch him quietly. It takes him a moment to move and he gets out of the car, calling out for Carlos, who laughs and comes up to him, moving a hand to his hip. "Dude, I'm right here. I'm not going to leave you out here all by yourself in the dark."

He doesn't respond to Carlos, just nods and bites his lip, hyper aware of the hand on his hip. Carlos laughs and moves his free hand to Kendall's other hip, guiding him through the field slowly before they stop. "Sit down," he mutters, pushing at Kendall's hips before dropping his hands away, sitting on the grass.

Swallowing hard, Kendall follows Carlos' advice and sits on the grass, bumping his knee against Carlos'. "Sorry," he mutters, licking his lips quickly.

"Quit apologizing." Carlos' words are playful and they put Kendall at ease; he allows his body to relax and he tips his head back, looking at the sky and noticing a few stars as they appear. He hears a lighter click and drops his attention back to Carlos, seeing his face illuminated in the glow from the flame as he lights the end of a joint.

The light goes away and all Kendall can see is the orange embers glowing from the tip of Carlos' joint and he rubs his hands together, listening to the other boy suck in a deep breath. He sighs deeply and intertwines his fingers together, looking in the direction of Carlos, listening to him exhale slowly. Something nudges against his arm and Kendall jumps a little, relaxing and blushing when he hears the other boy laugh. When he realizes that Carlos is handing him the joint, he grips blindly for it and puts the end between his lips, taking a long hit.

Smoke fills his lungs and Kendall holds it, handing the joint back to Carlos before tipping his head back again, blowing the smoke from his lips and watching it fill the night sky before disappearing.

"So you have done this before," Carlos comments, mumbling around the end of the joint.

Kendall blushes - and is suddenly thankful that Carlos can't see him - and nods. "I used to smoke when I was in high school, but I stopped when I graduated."

"When did you graduate?"

"Couple of weeks ago," Kendall admits, feeling his face and neck burn from the admission.

"I graduated a few years ago," Carlos offers, blowing smoke toward the sky. "Congrats, by the way."

Raising a brow, Kendall holds his hand out for the joint. "For what?"

"Graduating, duh." Carlos laughs and hands the joint back to Kendall, licking his lips. "I would have swore you were older than eighteen."

Kendall takes a hit and holds the smoke in for a moment before blowing it out, making rings with the smoke. "How do you know I wasn't held back a bunch of times? I could be like, twenty-one or something." He hands the joint back to Carlos and listens to him laugh, the sound filling him with a warm feeling.

"True. So, are you?"

"No, I'm eighteen."

"Good," Carlos sighs. "So you're not jailbait."

Hearing those words makes Kendall cough and he clears his throat, patting his chest lightly. His fit makes Carlos laugh and soon he feels a hand wrap around his forearm, warm and calloused skin pressing against his own. "You alright?" Carlos asks, his voice closer to Kendall than it was before.

"Yeah," Kendall says, coughing a few times before adding, "I'm fine. Just choked on my own spit."

The two of them sit still for a moment and Carlos runs his thumb along the back of Kendall's arm slowly, their breathing steady and slow, mixing with the sounds of nature around them. Kendall doesn't know how long they sit there, just knows that he likes being close to Carlos and not saying anything for once. It makes him feel at peace and calm.

Carlos shifts forward and Kendall can hear his jeans move against the grass; he can feel the hand on his arm move away, only to cup the side of his face. The pad of Carlos' thumb brushes along his lower lip like he's tracing it and Kendall breathes against it, closing his eyes for whatever's about to happen. There's more shifting and Carlos' thumb move away before it's replaced with something warm and much softer; it takes Kendall a moment to realize that Carlos is kissing him and he almost loses his breath.

With his head swimming, Kendall lifts his hand and curls it around the back of Carlos' neck, holding him in place as he returns the kiss, pushing against Carlos' mouth softly before parting his lips, almost like an invitation. He doesn't know what he's inviting Carlos to do, but doesn't think he'll push him away if he accepts it, and he sighs against the other boy's lips before feeling them wrap around his own lip. Teeth sink into his skin and pull his lip back before releasing it and Kendall licks it once it's released, moaning at the faint taste of Carlos on them.

"What was that for?" He breathes, brushing his thumb over the hair just above the nape of Carlos' neck, listening to him laugh softly.

"Just wanted to kiss you, to see if you'd like it." Carlos kisses Kendall again and slots their lips together, moving both hands to Kendall's slender hips, pushing him back in the grass. It all happens so fast and in no time Carlos is straddling Kendall's lap, dipping down to kiss him harder, tongue prying his lips apart.

Kendall is in absolute heaven when Carlos kisses him for the second time and when he feels Carlos' tongue slip between his lips, he groans and moves his hands around the other boy's back. His fingers travel down until they find Carlos' ass and Kendall squeezes it, pulling him closer as he opens his mouth more.

Taking the invitation, Carlos licks his way into Kendall's mouth and moves a hand up his stomach, pulling the fabric of his shirt up slowly, before pressing his palm flat against the middle of Kendall's chest. Their tongues wrap around one another and Kendall groans deep in his chest, lifting his hips and his head, trying to get more of Carlos, to taste him even more.

When Carlos pulls back, Kendall whines and lets his head drop against the grass, both of them panting. "That was... fun," Carlos laughs, drumming his fingertips against Kendall's chest, feeling it rise and fall quickly under his touch. "You alright?"

"Huh? Me? I'm alright," Kendall babbles, licking his lips over and over, tasting Carlos on them each time. "Better than alright, actually."

"I know, I can feel that." With another laugh, Carlos rolls his hips down and leans in to kiss Kendall one last time. "We should probably get going. I've gotta get home before my parents freak out and realize that I'm late."

One minute, Carlos is on his lap and the next he's gone, leaving Kendall laying in the grass with his cock hard in his jeans. He groans and gets to his feet, clapping his hands together to get the dirt off of them, feeling a hand on his ass. Carlos wipes the dirt and grass off the back of his jeans and Kendall bites his lower lip roughly, closing his eyes as he tries his best not to groan.

"You should be good. Don't wanna get your car dirty."

"Thanks," Kendall chuckles and moves toward the car with Carlos' hands on his hips, guiding him the whole way. They get to the driver's side and Kendall opens the door before getting in, keeping the door open until Carlos gets in the passenger seat. After turning the car on, Kendall turns around in the field and drives back down the path, subconsciously licking his lips as he drives, fully aware of Carlos' eyes on him. "What?" he asks once they pull onto the road, throwing a glance at Carlos.

"You wanna go out again sometime? When I'm less dirty and when it's day?"

Swallowing, Kendall nods and smiles. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Good!" Carlos laughs and pulls his phone out. "What's your number?" Kendall tells it to him and Carlos punches it in, before sending a text message to him; Kendall's phone goes off a few seconds later and they both laugh. "There, so you'll have my number. Call me anytime, or text me. I'm usually not doing anything."

"Alright, I'll do that." Kendall nods and looks at Carlos again, catching him grinning at him.

The ride back to the garage is quiet but the silence is comfortable and it doesn't make Kendall feel weird. He turns into the parking lot and parks the car before turning to look at Carlos, making a surprised noise when the boy leans over and kisses him gently. Closing his eyes and moving a hand to the back of Carlos' head, Kendall kisses back and bites at Carlos' lower lip, causing him to growl and pull away. "Damn," he laughs, shaking his head as he licks his lips.

"Sorry," Kendall mumbles, but he knows that he's not sorry at all. Since their first kiss, Kendall has been thinking about Carlos' lips and he wants to spend hours kissing him and exploring his body.

"Again with the apologizes," Carlos points out before leaning in to kiss Kendall again. "See you soon, Kendall."

With that, Carlos gets out of the car and shuts the door, giving Kendall a wave before turning to walk toward the building. Once he's gone, Kendall pulls out of the lot and gets back onto the road, driving home with a smile on his face and his heart thudding in his chest. He's happy - over the moon, really - and he can't wait to get home and text Camille about what happened.

Soon Kendall gets home and goes in to find that he's alone and, for once, that doesn't bother him. He goes up the stairs and pulls his phone out, reading the text from Carlos that says _'Hey sexy.'_  It makes Kendall laugh and he shakes his head, saving Carlos' number into his phone before bringing up Camille's name with a blank text message. He types,  _'Guess what?'_  and sends it as he walks into his room, kicking his shoes off into the corner before collapsing on his bed.

His phone buzzes a few minutes later and he reads Camille's reply. _'What?'_

 _'I just spent time with Carlos, the boy I like, and we kissed. Several times.'_ Kendall blushes as he hits send and gets out of his clothes reluctantly, smelling Carlos and grease and oil all over him. He tosses his clothes into the corner and settles back onto the bed, smiling when his phone goes off again.

_'WHAT? We need to talk about this in person. Coffee tomorrow?'_

_'Of course. Text me when you want to meet up.'_

A moment later, Camille replies again. _'Will do, Blondie. ;) See ya tomorrow! xoxo'_

Shaking his head, Kendall puts his phone on the nightstand and settles back against the pillow, folding an arm over his head as he stares at the ceiling, sighing happily. He smiles when he thinks about Carlos and how soft his lips are and the way he tastes, biting his lip softly and closing his eyes.

 _Maybe Carlos will be my saving Grace this summer,_  Kendall thinks to himself, listening to the sound of cars passing by the house. Despite the early hour, Kendall falls asleep quickly and with a smile on his face; he's truly happy for once in his life and he sleeps that night with dreams of being in the field with Carlos and seeing what's underneath his clothes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: sex and biting, the rest of the 'warnings' and kinks will be a bit of a surprise.]

A loud knock on the door wakes Kendall up; he's pulled from a dream about Carlos and he blinks sleepily, staring at the ceiling as he starts to wake up, hearing another knock on the door a moment later. Groaning loudly, he pushes the sheets off his legs and moves a hand across the front of his boxers, pressing his palm against the front, biting his lip when he pushes against his hard cock. It takes him another moment to get up and he pulls a pair of pajama pants on, palming himself through the two layers as he makes his way out of his room and into the hall.

The person at the door knocks again and Kendall yawns, running a hand through his hair quickly, shifting the other up to scratch the middle of his chest as he walks down the stairs. He steps off the last one and yawns again, moving toward the door before opening it, narrowing his eyes at the sunlight that pours in through the opening. When his eyes adjust to the light, Kendall opens then and sees Camille standing on the porch, a smile on her face.

"Good morning. Well, afternoon, technically."

Kendall yawns again and shakes his head. "What time is it?"

"Twelve-thirty. Didn't you get my text this morning?" Kendall shakes his head and Camille laughs, pushing her way into the house. "I sent you a message that said I'd be over here at twelve-thirty. I assumed that you'd be up by then, but obviously not." She motions to Kendall and giggles, her eyes roaming down until they land on the front of his pajama pants, where there's still a noticeable bulge. "I see that I woke you at a rather  _inconvenient_  time."

"What -" Raising a brow, Kendall shuts the door and looks down, blushing hard. "Oh, that. Yeah, I just woke up and I was dreaming of -"

"Carlos, I take it?" Camille grins and the colour deepens on Kendall's cheeks as he nods. "Well, do you still want to go out or do you want to stay in? It doesn't look like anyone's home," she murmurs, turning to look around the living room quietly.

"We can stay in. It's too hot out for coffee anyway," Kendall points out, laughing quietly. "Wanna grab some beer and take it out to the pool?"

Turning back around, Camille nods and smiles. "Sure."

"To the kitchen we go." Smirking, Kendall leads Camille toward the kitchen and stops at the fridge, opening it before bending down to grab a six pack of beer from the bottom shelf. He straightens up and shuts the door with his hip, cradling the beer in his arm. "Follow me," he mutters, turning on his heel to walk to the back door, opening it with his free hand before stepping out, leaving it open for Camille.

He leads Camille toward the pool and sets the beer down before pulling his pajama pants off; he folds them and sets them down by the edge of the water before sitting down, dipping his legs into the water. Kicking his feet and swirling the water, Kendall grabs two beers and twists the caps off, handing one to Camille once she's settled next to him. They clink the bottles together and laugh before taking a sip, their gazes going toward the water.

"So, tell me about last night. How'd you find him? I want to know about it all, Blondie." Camille turns and lifts a hand, touching the side of Kendall's hair, her fingertips going through his sleep-mussed hair.

Laughing, Kendall nods and wraps both hands around the bottle. "I talked to the girl's sister, Jo, and she gave me Carlos' work address. He's a fucking  _mechanic_ , and it's the hottest thing ever. So, I went there and lied to the kid in the office - said my brakes were squealing and I needed someone to check them, but... the brakes are just fine. I just wanted to see Carlos." He goes silent and takes a long sip of beer, laughing when Camille nudges him.

"Keep going you jerk," she mutters, giggling once the words are out.

"Alright, so he comes out with his jumpsuit unzipped and he's greasy and wearing this tight tank top that clings to his chest like," Kendall groans and then laughs when Camille does. "And he  _recognized_  me. Said he was wondering about me since the party and after he checked out my car, he asked if I wanted to hang out. I said yes, of course, because I thought I was going to hang out with him and his friend, but -"

"Wait," Camille interrupts, turning to face Kendall a little, folding her right leg a little. "What friend? You met one of his  _friends_?"

Kendall nods and bites his lip. "Two of them," he replies, grinning a little. "Gustavo and Logan. Gustavo runs the garage and Logan's been his best friend since they were like, toddlers or something."

A noise like a squeal comes from Camille's throat and she claps her hand against her beer bottle. "This is great! You're meeting his friends already, so you've got an in, Blondie!"

"Yeah," Kendall agrees, chuckling as he lifts his beer and drains half the liquid. "They're nice, really, but I felt kinda out of place when Carlos and Logan were talking, you know? They had these nicknames for each other and it felt like I was stepping into something I shouldn't have." He shrugs and looks down at the water, kicking his feet in it slowly.

"Sure, but you won't feel like that forever, I bet."

Shrugging, Kendall finishes his first beer and sets the empty bottle in the case with the full ones. "Maybe. Logan did say he hopes we all hang out sometime, so maybe that will happen."

"See!" Camille laughs and leans against Kendall a little. "You've got an in, my friend. So, what happened after that?"

"Well," he starts, clearing his throat as he runs a hand through his hair. "We got into my car and we drove to this abandoned field on the outskirts of town. He brought pot, so we smoked that while we sat in the field and then... he just kissed me."

Camille squeals again and giggles, prompting Kendall to roll his eyes at her excitement. "Is he a good kisser? Are his lips soft? Dish, boy!"

His friend's excitement makes Kendall laugh and he licks his lips, remembering his and Carlos' first kiss. "He's a great kisser and god, his lips...  _God_ , they're so fucking amazing, Camille. Soft and full and they tasted so good," he sighs and keeps moving his legs in the water, watching them below the surface.

"Sounds like you had a perfect night."

"I did. One of the best nights of my life, honestly." As he speaks, Kendall turns to look at Camille and smiles. "He gave me his number and said we should go do something sometime, when it's daytime and he's less dirty."

"So why are you hanging out with me? Why aren't you calling this sexy Spanish boy for more Latin passion?"

 _Again with the Latin passion,_  Kendall thinks and he laughs, shrugging. "Cause I told you I'd see you today and I really wanted to. I might call him and see if he wants to hang out later today, though. I think my parents are going to be gone all day, so it works out well."

"Good. Now, can I jump in this pool or is it off limits?" Camille asks as she sets her beer down and stands up; Kendall watches her pull her top off to reveal a black bikini top underneath. She's working her shorts down and Kendall laughs, nodding slowly. Without waiting for a verbal reply, Camille kicks her shorts off and jumps into the pool, splashing Kendall with water. When she comes back up for air, she laughs and swims toward the middle before turning around. "Am I going to have to swim alone in  _your_  pool?"

"No, I guess not. But I'm in my boxers," Kendall points out, looking down at them.

Camille laughs and splashes him with water. "I don't care, Kendall. Honestly - I can handle seeing the outline of your dick. It's not going to gross me out or make me run away screaming, _'Ew! Cooties!'_ "

"Alright." Laughing, Kendall pushes himself into the water and swims toward the middle before diving under the surface. He swims toward the deep end of the pool and comes up, pushing his hair out of his eyes. He opens them just in time to see Camille disappear in the water and he feels her drag him down, letting out a yelp before his head goes under.

They swim for an hour before getting out and going into the house with their beer; Kendall gets a couple of towels for them and they sit in the living room, drinking and watching bad TV. Another hour later, Camille gets a text from her mom and leaves but not before making Kendall promise to tell her every detail of his date with Carlos. When Kendall agrees, she leaves and Kendall throws the empty beer bottles away, not even trying to hide them in the trash can.

When everything's cleaned up, Kendall goes upstairs and gets out of his damp boxers, pulling a dry pair on before settling into bed and grabbing his phone. He brings his contacts up and hits Carlos' name, his thumb hovering over the call button before he hits it, bringing his phone up to his head, pressing it against his ear. It rings three times before it clicks and someone answers, Kendall's stomach twisting as he waits for Carlos to say something.

"Hello?" Carlos answers, his voice sleepy.

Kendall laughs and licks his lips. "Hey, Carlos. It's Kendall," he replies, pulling his legs up and crossing them, running his free hand through his hair.

"Hey," Carlos laughs. "What's up, man? I hope it's not your brakes - I really don't think I can fix those."

"No, it's not my brakes. I was wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out? My parents are gone and I've got the house all to myself... and it's kind of lonely."  _God,_ Kendall thinks.  _Just how fucking pathetic do I sound?_

There's silence on the other end before Carlos yawns and chuckles. "Sounds good. Just give me about half an hour to wake up and shower, then I'll be over. Text me your address?"

"Yeah, I'll text it to you. See you in a bit," Kendall says, biting his lip and grinning.

"See you then, sexy." Carlos laughs and hangs up before Kendall can say anything; his face turns a deep shade of crimson and he brings a blank text message up, typing his address in and selecting Carlos' number as the destination. He sends it and moves off his bed quickly, moving around his room to clean it up.

Once his room is halfway clean, Kendall pulls on a pair of board shorts and a tank-top, making sure he looks presentable before grabbing his phone and going downstairs to wait. Collapsing on the couch and turning the TV on, Kendall relaxes and watches some show about blowing stuff up, trying to keep his focus on something else and not the fact that Carlos is coming to his house - and that they'll be alone together for the second time.

Time passes and Kendall constantly checks his phone, wishing he could speed time up and sighing when he sees that only a few moments have gone by since the last time he checked the clock. Deciding that it'd be better not to look at his phone, Kendall lays it on the coffee table and crosses his arms over his chest, watching a barrel explode on the TV. He laughs and makes an 'ooh' noise, bringing his feet up to rest on the edge of the coffee table.

Ten minutes later, someone knocks on the door and Kendall jumps off the couch, rounding the end of the couch before heading to the door, opening it quickly. When his eyes settle on Carlos, Kendall swallows hard and smiles, motioning for him to come in. "Hey. I thought you might have gotten lost or something," he laughs, shutting the door behind Carlos.

"I almost did, but I had to talk to my mother before I left," Carlos shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets, turning to look at Kendall; he's wearing a faded Motley Crue t-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans with his beat up Converse, a smile on his face. "Nice place you've got," he offers, turning to look around the place before making his way back to Kendall.

"Thanks," Kendall laughs and moves toward the living room, dropping onto the couch. His heart pounds in his chest when he sees Carlos walk around and sit next to him, hands slipping out of his pockets. "Should probably take your shoes off," he mumbles, feeling his cheeks grow hot.

Carlos blinks and nods, leaning forward to untie his shoes, tossing them underneath the coffee table. When he bends forward, Kendall's eyes go to his back and the way his t-shirt rides up slowly, exposing his skin and he swallows hard, biting his lip. "Are your parents neat freaks or something?"

"Huh?" Kendall snaps his eyes up and settles them on Carlos' face. "What? Sorry, I was distracted."

"It's alright," Carlos laughs, licking his lips slowly. "I asked if your parents are neat freaks?"

"Oh." Pursing his lips together, Kendall thinks about that and nods his head. "My mom's a nurse, so she likes things to be clean and doesn't like dirt to be dragged into the house. She's kind of drilled the whole 'take your shoes off at the door' policy in my head, so it's automatic... though, I do walk all the way upstairs and into my room with my shoes on, when she's not here."

"You rebel," Carlos teases, winking as he settles back against the couch, scooting closer to Kendall. "What are we watching?"

"Mythbusters."

Carlos nods and lifts his feet, placing them against the edge of the coffee table. "So, what'd you want to do while I'm here? And how long am I here for? I assume I have to leave before the 'rents come home, right?"

Something in the way Carlos speaks and says those words makes Kendall's heart jump and he swallows hard, shrugging as he shifts closer to Carlos, putting an arm on the couch behind his head. "We can do whatever we want, and I don't think either of my parents are coming home until late. Don't think my father will come home at all, honestly," he admits and stares at the TV, watching Carlos from the corner of his eye.

"Parents having problems?"

"Something like that, yeah," Kendall laughs, turning to look at Carlos, who's got his eyes locked on Kendall's face. "But I don't want to talk about it, it sucks and I want to enjoy myself for once."

Nodding, Carlos moves and straddles Kendall's lap; it happens so quickly that Kendall's sure if he were to blink, he would have missed it. He blinks at Carlos and moves his hands to the other boy's hips, thumbing across the thin fabric covering his hipbones quickly.

"What are you doing?" The question is dumb and Kendall wants to take it back until he hears Carlos laugh, the warm sound filling his ears and making him breath in deeply.

" _Must_  you ask so many questions, dude?" Kendall's about to open his mouth and answer, but Carlos presses their lips together and kisses him, prying his lips apart quickly before licking into his mouth. Carlos tastes different now than he did last night; Kendall can taste mint and orange on his tongue and it makes him crave more.

When Carlos' tongue presses against his own, Kendall groans and pushes the boy's shirt up his stomach, splaying a hand against his warm skin, thumbing across it slowly. Something like a growl comes from Carlos' chest and he wraps his arms around Kendall's neck, burying one hand in his hair and resting the other on the nape of his neck, kissing him slowly.

The kiss is amazing and it makes Kendall's body thrum excitedly underneath Carlos', wanting to feel his fingers and hands on every inch of his skin, his cock hardening in his jeans as Carlos deepens the kiss. Breathing deeply through their noses, both boys tilt their heads to the side - Carlos' head tilts to the right and Kendall's goes to the left automatically.

Every inch of his skin is burning and Kendall breathes hard, feeling Carlos' hips rock against his own; his fingertips are inching up toward Carlos' chest and he takes a nipple between his fingers, pinching and rolling it lightly. It's Kendall's first time doing anything like this on someone else and he worries he's doing it wrong, until Carlos moans against his mouth, lips parted against Kendall's, breath falling heavy against it.

"Love kissing you," Carlos mumbles as he kisses down the curve of Kendall's jaw, dragging the tip of his nose down the inside and back up, tracing the shell of Kendall's ear slowly. "Couldn't stop thinking about it after last night," he admits, biting the top of Kendall's ear, the sound he makes going straight to his cock.

"Yeah," Kendall breathes, finding it increasingly difficult to form a coherent thought with Carlos on his lap and his teeth grazing down the shell of his ear, hot breath blowing against it. His body shudders and Kendall keeps pinching Carlos' nipple, alternating between rubbing and tweaking, pulling moans and small whimpers from the other boy's throat.

When Carlos pulls away and leans back, Kendall pulls his hand out from underneath his shirt and watches him pull it off, the dark fabric being tossed over his shoulder, landing somewhere on the carpet behind him. For the first time, Kendall doesn't feel ashamed when he stares, and he just lets his eyes roam over every exposed inch of Carlos, gaze dragging down until he sees the top of his briefs poking out above his jeans.

Taking a deep breath, Kendall moves a hand up Carlos' side slowly. "You're beautiful," he mumbles, pulling his gaze back to Carlos', green irises locking onto brown ones.

"So are you," Carlos replies before leaning down to kiss Kendall again, but this time the kiss is slow and passionate, not rushed and rough like all the others. Closing his eyes, Kendall sighs through his nose and moves his hand around Carlos' back, pressing it between his shoulderblades, pulling him closer.

A noise of surprise leaves Carlos' mouth and muffles against Kendall's as they kiss, hands roaming each other's body slowly, searching and exploring every inch they can touch. It's maddening how much just kissing Carlos and touching him can turn Kendall on and he shifts underneath Carlos, pressing his covered cock against the boy's ass.

Every move Kendall makes and every slight shift of his lap makes Carlos' body tremble and he rolls his hips down, moving Kendall's free hand to the front of his jeans, pressing it against against his covered cock. A moan escapes and Carlos tips his head back, pushing his hips against Kendall's hand until he feels it move away, pouting slightly.

Kendall laughs and kisses Carlos quickly. "You're sexy when you pout," he mumbles, popping the button of Carlos' jeans quickly before undoing the zipper and slipping his hand into the denim. He can tell by the way Carlos parts his lips that he's going to say something but the words get cut off by a moan when Kendall squeezes his cock through his briefs.

"Driving me crazy," Carlos manages to whisper, tangling his fingers in Kendall's hair more, tugging him forward until their lips are almost touching. "Is there somewhere else we can go?" His voice is barely a whisper, the words coming out against Kendall's lips in a breath.

 _Fuck, this is really happening_ , Kendall thinks as he swallows and licks across Carlos' top lip. "Yeah," he rasps. "My room's upstairs, but I'm gonna need you to get off my lap so I can get up."

Laughing, Carlos nods and gets off Kendall's lap reluctantly, disentangling his fingers from the other boy's hair as he straightens up. Everything's quiet around them and Kendall's aware of just how  _loud_  Carlos' breathing is - as well as is own - and he rolls his bottom lip between his teeth before stranding, wrapping his arms around Carlos' waist, dipping down to kiss him quickly.

Carlos smacks Kendall's ass when they ease apart and he grins, motioning for the taller boy to go first. Once Kendall gets the idea, he moves toward the stairs and shoots a look over his shoulder, watching Carlos follow him, walking toward the stairs with his jeans undone and his shirt off, looking gorgeous. The sight makes him bite his lip and Kendall turns to go up the stairs, standing at the top to wait for Carlos, laughing when he curses his jeans and hikes them up, holding them until he meets Kendall at the top of the staircase.

"What are you laughing at?"

Kendall shakes his head and runs a hand along Carlos' chest. "You," he mumbles, rubbing his thumb along Carlos' nipple slowly before dropping his hand, grinning at the other boy when he moans.

"Am I funny?" Carlos asks, licking his lips as he pushes the hem of Kendall's tank top up over his hip.

"Kind of, yeah." With another grin, Kendall pulls away and backs toward his bedroom, untying his board shorts as he does, eyes locked on Carlos.

Watching Kendall walk away, Carlos bites his lip and shimmies out of his jeans, bending down to pick them up before following Kendall into his bedroom, tossing the jeans onto the floor. He walks up to the taller boy and wraps his hands around his hips, pulling him closer before craning his neck and lifting a hand, wrapping it around the back of Kendall's neck, pulling him down. Their lips slot together again and Kendall closes his eyes, losing himself in Carlos and the way he tastes, pressing a hand to the back of his head, fingertips tangling in the short, black locks.

Every bone in Kendall's body seems to disappear as he kisses Carlos and he melts into it, parting his lips slightly and feeling the other boy's tongue slip between them, licking his way into Kendall's mouth. Breathing deeply through his nose, Carlos pushes Kendall's shorts down and deepens the kiss, sliding both of his hands down, gripping the hem of Kendall's tank top.

Their hands go a dozen ways and soon, Kendall's clothes end up on the floor with Carlos' in a crude pile. They break away from the kiss and Kendall licks his lips slowly, moving a hand to the front of Carlos' briefs, running his fingertips over his covered cock slowly. He can feel how damp the fabric is and he swallows, cupping Carlos in his palm before rubbing him lightly.

"Kendall," Carlos moans and Kendall's heart beats wildly in his chest when he hears his name spoken like that. He breathes hard and swallows thickly, thumbing across the head of Carlos' cock, pulling a loud moan from his throat, Kendall's name falling from his lips again. To hear someone say his name like that - in the most intimate way possible - and to know that it's not being faked makes Kendall feel happy; he feels like he's on top of the world and like nothing can bring him down.

Leaning down, Kendall kisses Carlos again and turns him around, pushing him back toward the bed until the other boy makes a small 'oof' noise against his lips. They laugh together and Kendall pushes Carlos onto the mattress, watching as he lays back and spreads out, his tanned skin contrasting against the white bed sheets and Kendall thinks, in that moment, that he's never seen someone as beautiful and as sexy as Carlos. Not even guys from porn.

He snaps out of his reverie and spreads Carlos' legs slowly, settling on the bed between them. The mattress dips and the springs squeak as Kendall situates himself between Carlos' thighs and he leans down once he's settled, trailing his tongue over Carlos' nipple slowly. A loud moan comes from Carlos and he moves a hand between Kendall's shoulderblades, pressing their skin together as he arches off the bed. With a grin, Kendall looks up and drags his tongue over the nipple again, pulling it back and forth, trying to elicit more moans from Carlos.

Carlos takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, his eyelids flutter shut as he feels Kendall's lips wrap around his nipple. He moans loudly when Kendall starts to suck on it and he digs his fingertips into the other boy's skin, whining his name softly. After a moment of sucking, Kendall takes the skin between his teeth and bites down hard, laving his tongue over it slowly, listening to Carlos come undone above him.

"Fucking  _Christ_ , Kendall," Carlos moans, arching his back off the bed as he moves his hand to the back of Kendall's head. "Gonna make me come in my fucking briefs if you keep that up," he laughs breathlessly, fingers tangling in and tugging on the brown locks.

Letting go of Carlos' nipple, Kendall grins and moves up until their bodies are perfectly aligned together. "I take it you like your nipples being played with," he mumbles, chuckling quickly.

"Of  _course_ ," Carlos laughs. "Don't you?"

"Never really had it done to me," Kendall admits, shrugging his shoulders as he looks at Carlos. "I've never really  _done_  any of this stuff with my last boyfriend, if you can call him that. Do you know how punching bags serve one purpose - to be pummeled?" Carlos nods and drags his fingers down the curve of Kendall's spine slowly. "Well, that's how it was with me and my ex. I was only useful for a  _handful_  of things: getting on my knees and taking it like a bitch, sucking cock, being quiet and knowing how to keep my mouth shut when things started to hurt, and being there when his girlfriend was repulsed by him and he needed 'sexual release.' I was a sex-bag, I guess."

"Don't say that," Carlos murmurs, dragging his fingers back up the middle of Kendall's spine and over the back of his neck.

Closing his eyes and tipping his head back, Kendall sighs. "Why not? It's true. He only called me when he wanted to fuck me and once we were done, he acted like I didn't exist outside the bedroom... or the bathroom... and the car and the basement."

"Because you're  _not_  just a sex-bag, Kendall. You're much more than that, and I know it already, though this is only our, what - third time meeting? I know that I'm being sorta hypocritical 'cause look at where we're at," Carlos nods pointed to Kendall and smiles softly, "but I  _do_  want to get to know you, Kendall. I really do. I'm not like that asshole who used you and didn't look at you again until he wanted somewhere to shove his dick." As he speaks, Carlos strokes the back of Kendall's neck and smiles, though Kendall can't see it.

The way Carlos talks is soft and his touch is lovingly, both of which Kendall has never experienced with someone else, and he breathes in deeply, opening his eyes. He drops his head forward and smiles at Carlos before leaning down to kiss him, pressing their lips together in a small, sweet kiss before pulling back, chewing his lip. "So, you're not going to judge me for having only been with one guy?"

Carlos snorts and tips his head back, laughter rumbling in his chest. "No," he says, trying not to giggle as he looks at Kendall again. "Why in the world would I judge you for that? So what if you've only been with one guy? He doesn't count because he sounds like the world's biggest douchebag."

In that moment, Kendall realizes that he could very possibly fall in love with Carlos and that thought scares him; he hardly knows Carlos but yet, here he is, letting him touch him in a way he's dreamed that James would for years but never got. He nods and leans down again, brushing the tip of his nose against Carlos', making them both giggle before Carlos pulls back and kisses the tip of Kendall's nose.

"So, you were the bottom, huh?" Carlos says after a moment, his fingertips gliding down the nape of Kendall's neck.

"Yeah, and I've always wanted to be the top, but James said that he was 'far from being a bitch' and he was too masculine to be a bottom. Said that I looked the most feminine out of both of us, so he always fucked me." Shrugging, Kendall leans down and kisses Carlos' chest. "What about you?"

Carlos takes a deep breath and moves his fingertips in small circles over Kendall's shoulderblade. "I've been both, but I like being a bottom more 'cause it feels better to me, you know? I  _like_  being fucked," he laughs and then moans, feeling Kendall's tongue on his nipple again.

Chuckling, Kendall nods and bites Carlos' nipple again. "So you want me to fuck you? Since you like it so much."

"I wouldn't be naked on your bed with my cock hard in my briefs if I didn't," Carlos replies, laughing. "You gonna let me in on the foreplay, or are you gonna hog all the fun? Because that's not nice, you know.."

"Oops," Kendall mutters, blushing as he lifts his head away, biting his lip. "I guess I could let you take over for a while. Though I do really like playing with your nipples," he whispers, leaning down to brush hips lips against Carlos' ear, "and I like biting them."

Groaning, Carlos rolls his eyes back. "Fucking  _hell_ ," he mutters, moving his hands to Kendall's hips. "On the bed."

He moves off the mattress and pushes Kendall onto his back before straddling his lap, running both hands up and down his chest slowly, licking his lips. Kendall grins at him and rolls his hips up, prompting Carlos to push his ass back against him, groaning when he feels just how hard Kendall really is. "Can't wait for you to fuck me," Carlos mumbles, the words almost sounding like a soft growl.

Without hesitating any longer, he leans down and kisses Kendall's chest lightly, moving both hands down slowly, letting his fingers drag over Kendall's hipbones. He pushes the pads of his thumbs against the bone and drags them down the cut of Kendall's hip, listening to him suck in a deep breath. Carlos grins and bites Kendall's chest lightly before moving down, flicking his tongue against one of Kendall's nipples before biting down on it.

Kendall's eyes snap shut and he groans when he feels Carlos' teeth sink into his nipple; the feeling is amazing and it makes his cock harder, his breath coming in harsh pants. "Carlos," he whines, lifting his hips off the bed, looking for something to press himself against and whimpering when he can't find anything.

Humming around Kendall's nipple, Carlos looks up at him and grins before pulling back. "Yeah, sexy?"

"I think I wanna fuck you now," Kendall admits, rushing the words out in one breath and blushing when Carlos says something in Spanish under his breath, and Kendall can only assume it was a curse word. " _Please_ ," he begs, swallowing hard as he moves a hand to the front of Carlos' briefs, palming him through the thin, damp fabric.

"Alright." With a laugh, Carlos leans down and kisses Kendall's lips quickly. "Do you have condoms and lube?" Kendall nods and points to the nightstand, watching as Carlos turns and leans over to open the drawer. While he rummages around in the drawer, Kendall runs his hands up and down Carlos' sides slowly, breathing quietly as he watches the boy, never taking his eyes off of him. "Got 'em," Carlos mutters when he pulls back, grinning down at Kendall.

"What's your favourite position?" Kendall asks, a blush creeping along his cheeks once the words are spoken.

"I like being put on my back," Carlos starts, voice low and seductive, "with my knees hitched over your shoulders."

Shuddering, Kendall nods his head and licks his lips, playing with the elastic of Carlos' briefs. "Gotta get these off first," he mutters, listening to Carlos laugh quietly.

"That would be a start, yes." Carlos straightens up and feels the fabric pull away from his hip as Kendall tugs it down, the cotton moving across his cock and sending a shock wave of pleasure down his spine. Biting his lip, Carlos looks down and locks eyes with Kendall, the briefs stopping around his thighs.

"You'll have to take them off the rest of the way," Kendall points out as he leans up to kiss Carlos' collarbone lightly.

He lets out a soft moan and nods, moving to stand next to the bed, pushing his briefs down once he's vertical. The fabric falls away and Carlos chews on his lower lip, watching as Kendall's gaze drops, eyes widening at the sight of his cock. "See something you like?" Carlos teases, running a hand along his lower abdomen.

"Yeah," Kendall croaks, laughing as he sits up, kneeling on the foot of the bed, playing with the waistband of his boxers. He watches as Carlos gets onto the bed again, placing one leg on either side of Kendall's, smiling up at him. They lock eyes and Kendall's chest tightens for a moment before he moves off the bed and pushes his boxers down, kicking them away before climbing back onto the mattress.

Carlos spreads his legs and bends his knees, pressing his feet against the mattress and lifting his hips slightly, handing Kendall the bottle of lube. He smiles at the other boy and licks his lips, listening to the cap pop open, his eyes closing as he waits, his body trembling in anticipation. A moment later, Kendall presses two slick fingers against Carlos' entrance and pushes them in slowly, both of them groaning in unison as the digits push in.

Biting his lip, Kendall pushes his fingers in further and listens to the way Carlos gasps when they're in all the way. "You okay?" He asks, stilling the digits inside of Carlos, watching his face.

"Yeah, yeah," Carlos breathes, nodding his head as he wiggles his ass slightly. "Just getting used to it. Keep going, feels good," he mutters, smiling at Kendall as he moves a hand down, touching his forearm lovingly. The touch gives Kendall the confidence to keep going and he starts working his fingers in and out at an even pace, scissoring them as he pulls them out; he pushes them back together and pushes them in, crooking his fingertips slightly, making Carlos moan loudly.

Time goes by slowly and Kendall keeps fucking Carlos with his fingers, getting rougher by the second, feeling his muscles clench around the digits before relaxing. Carlos' breathing is harsh and ragged, his voice broken when he moans Kendall's name, the word fading into another moan, that noise being cut off by a whimper. "Ready," Carlos says suddenly, pushing his hips back against Kendall's hand before pulling back.

"You're sure?" Kendall asks, pulling his fingers out slowly.

"Uh-huh, I just want your cock in me already." A broken laugh comes from Carlos' throat and Kendall nods, licking his lips as he grabs the condom wrapper, opening it with shaky fingers. Once it's open, he pulls the latex out and slides it over his cock, rolling the condom down until it's snug at the bottom.

He pours lube over the condom and strokes it in before pushing Carlos' knees back toward his chest, nudging the head of his cock against his entrance. Looking at Carlos, Kendall bites his lip and places a hand against the back of one of his thighs, pushing it down toward his chest more as he pushes in slowly, groaning at the tight heat. The feeling of Carlos' muscles clenching and relaxing around his cock makes Kendall moan around his bitten lip and he chews on it more, pushing in until he's buried halfway inside of Carlos.

"God," Kendall pants, moving his hand up Carlos' leg, hooking it under his knee. "Feels good," he moans, licking his lips slowly.

Carlos nods and keeps his eyes on Kendall until he starts pushing in again. "Yeah,  _fuck_ , feels amazing," he mutters, moaning in between words as he snaps his eyes shut.

Gritting his teeth together, Kendall thrusts in all the way and presses his hips against Carlos' ass, rotating them slowly, trying to get used to the feeling of his cock being in someone else. When Carlos' moans turn into whimpers, Kendall pulls his legs up and hooks both of Carlos' knees over his shoulders, bending forward a little.

Seeing Carlos bent like this and laying underneath him makes Kendall's pulse quicken and he starts to pull out slowly, inching his cock out until just the head is buried in Carlos' ass. His body is trembling and he puts a hand on Carlos' hip, moving the other up his chest slowly as he pushes in, bottoming out with a loud groan.

"You cock," Carlos starts, babbling quietly, "is so fucking big, holy fuck." In a second, Carlos goes from speaking perfect English to saying things in rapid Spanish, the words rolling off his tongue and making Kendall moan his name.

For a moment, Kendall stays still with his hips pressed against Carlos' ass, hand splayed on his chest while the other grips his hip tightly, and he just looks at the boy in front of him, taking in everything about him. He notes the way Carlos' head is tipped back, hands fisting the sheets, and the way his chest rises and falls with each breath. Kendall can feel Carlos' heart beat under his fingers and he pulls out of him quickly only to slam in harder than before, crying Carlos' name at the top of his lungs.

"Doing so good, don't stop, Kendall.."

Taking Carlos' words of encouragement, Kendall thrusts in and out roughly, moving his hand to Carlos' nipple, tweaking it between his forefinger and thumb, listening to him whimper loudly. Everything sets in and Kendall's head feels dizzy and lightheaded as he thrusts into Carlos, hips jabbing against his ass roughly, fingers tightening around his hip hard enough to leave a bruise.

"Stroke your cock for me," Kendall whispers, rolling Carlos' nipple between his fingers, watching as a hand moves down to wrap around his cock. "So good Carlos," he moans, pulling out and angling his hips before thrusting back in, hitting something deep inside Carlos that makes his entire body shudder.

He lets out a loud cry and says Kendall's name, along with a mantra of Spanish words that Kendall doesn't understand, but he doesn't care about that at the moment; all Kendall cares about is making Carlos feel good and making him come. Pushing Carlos' legs away from his shoulders, Kendall leans down and catches his lips in a biting kiss, slamming his hips forward, feeling Carlos' legs wrap around his waist.

Every moan and sigh and groan gets muffled by the kiss and Kendall's entire body tenses as he gets closer to coming, his hips thrusting sporadically against Carlos' ass, signaling his approaching orgasm. A tight heat coils along his lower abdomen and Kendall starts to slow his hips down as he pulls away from Carlos, panting heavily. "Come for me," he whispers, voice broken and harsh.

Carlos nods and chews on his lower lip, stroking his cock harder, feeling Kendall's cock slide in and out of his ass slowly. It's an amazing feeling and he wants to hold onto it, wants to stay in that moment forever, but he knows he can't. After a couple short, quick strokes, Carlos comes and moans Kendall's name, panting curse words and 'oh god,' as his orgasm subsides.

When Carlos comes, his muscles clench around Kendall's cock and he groans at the vice-tight grip around him, thrusting in one last time before he comes, leaning down to bury his face in Carlos' neck, breathing hard against it and moaning Carlos' name. His body shakes and sweat pours down his neck and down his back, but Kendall is happy and he doesn't want the feeling to go away.

Kendall pushes himself up and sits on his knees, pulling out of Carlos with a small grunt, running his fingers down the insides of the other boy's thighs, watching his chest as he breathes hard. Smiling, Kendall leans down and cleans Carlos' stomach up, grinning when he hears a groan from above him, taking it as a noise of approval.

"K-kendall, please," Carlos croaks out, lifting his clean hand to rake through Kendall's hair slowly, dropping it when he sits up. "Can't we just lay here for a while? I'm spent." He laughs and licks his lips, looking up at Kendall with half-lidded eyes.

"Sure, just lemme get something to clean us up with, okay?" When Carlos nods and waves him away, Kendall chuckles and climbs off the bed, taking careful steps to the bathroom, holding onto the wall when he gets there. He disposes of the condom and flushes it down the toilet before grabbing a towel and wetting one end of the material.

As he walks back into his room, Kendall cleans his stomach and chest up and looks at the bed where Carlos is laying off to one side of the mattress, one hand behind his head, the other laying on his chest. For a moment, Kendall thinks that he could be happy seeing that sight every day and he smiles, holding the towel out when he gets to the bed.

Carlos takes the towel and grins. "Thanks," he mutters.

"No problem." Yawning, Kendall gets onto the bed and lays on his side, watching Carlos clean his stomach and hand up before tossing the towel into the corner where his dirty clothes are. "You know what I just realized?" He asks, and Carlos hums in response. "We haven't been on a proper date, but yet I've already had sex with you."

"What can I say? I'm easy like that." They laugh at Carlos' words and he turns onto his side, wrapping both arms around Kendall, pulling him close, resting his chin against the other boy's head. "We'll get to know each other after we take a nap, how's that sound?"

"Sounds like a deal," Kendall replies, his voice sleepy. "You sure you'll be here when I wake up?"

Rolling his eyes, Carlos grabs a sheet and covers them up quickly. "Positive. I'm sure you're gonna sleep on top of me anyway, so I doubt I'm going anywhere until you wake up."

Kendall laughs and nods, resting his head on Carlos' chest, curling a hand up and resting it just above his heart. He feels how steady and slow Carlos' heart beat is and he focuses on it, closing his eyes as he listens to the other boy's breathing. A hand moves across his shoulders and Kendall smiles softly to himself, curling his body against Carlos', taking comfort in the boy and his warmth.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: a moderate amount of fluff and cuteness, then some arguing at the end.]

After sleeping for a while, Kendall wakes up and forgets where he is for a second, before feeling Carlos' arms wrapped around his torso, the other boy's chest pressed against his back and warm breath hitting the nape of his neck. Shivering, Kendall moves a hand down and runs his fingertips over Carlos' forearm, listening to the deep sounds of his breathing, a smile on his face. He wonders what Carlos is dreaming about and wonders if this thing between them will go anywhere, secretly hoping that it does.

Carlos shifts behind him and sighs deeply, tightening his hold around Kendall's waist, placing a small kiss to his shoulder, smiling against the warm and still sweaty skin.

"Evening," he mutters, letting his lips brush along Kendall's shoulder slowly, feeling him shiver again. "How'd you sleep?"

Biting his lip, Kendall lays his arm against Carlos' and then smiles. "I slept perfectly. How about you?"

"Same. It's nice to have someone to hold onto," Carlos laughs and gives Kendall's shoulder one last kiss before pulling away. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Um," Kendall hums as he reluctantly moves away from Carlos, reaching across the mattress to turn his clock around. "Holy shit! It's a quarter after five!"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Kind of, yeah. Let me go see if anyone's home." The arms around his waist pull away and Kendall stands up, grabbing a random article of clothing off the floor before slipping them on. When he looks down, he realizes that he grabbed Carlos' briefs and blushes deeply, turning to smile at the other boy before leaning across the bed to kiss him softly. "I'll be right back."

Carlos chuckles and nods his head, licking his lips when Kendall pulls away. "I'll be right here. Grab my shirt while you're down there, please?"

As he straightens up, Kendall nods and watches as Carlos moves onto his back, folding both arms underneath his head; when he moves, the sheet slides down to his lower abdomen and Kendall swallows, tearing his eyes away from Carlos. He moves toward the door and opens it slowly, stepping out into the hall quietly, looking up and down it quickly.

He doesn't see anything and moves toward the stairs, taking them quickly, eyes scanning the living room and the foyer before he steps off the last stair, moving into the kitchen. It's evident that no one is home, but Kendall does a quick sweep of the house anyway before moving into the living room to grab Carlos' shirt and his cellphone. Pulling the shirt over his head, Kendall looks down at the way it hangs off his body and his heart thumps quickly when he realizes that he's in Carlos' clothes.

Colour creeps along his face and Kendall checks his phone as he walks back up the stairs, noticing a text message from both his mother and his father; he checks the one from his mother and it says she's working a double shift and won't be home until late in the morning. The second message, from his dad, says that he'll be coming home later since his mother's working and he wants to have a late dinner with Kendall. Groaning quietly, Kendall moves into his room and replies to his mom with  _'Don't work too hard. Love you.'_  Once that message is sent, he sends one to his dad that says, _'What time are you going to be home exactly?'_

"No one's home," he mutters when he moves to the bed, setting his phone down on the nightstand, glancing at Carlos, who's looking at him with a slight grin. "What?"

"You're wearing my clothes," Carlos points out, nodding to the shirt, the grin on his face spreading. "You look good in them," he adds, licking his lips.

Kendall blushes again and sits on the bed, folding his legs under one another. "Thank you."

"No problem." Chuckling, Carlos sits up and mimics the way Kendall is sitting, leaning in to kiss him gently. "You wanna play twenty questions now or do I need to be clothed for that?"

"You can be naked if you want," Kendall replies, grinning a little.

"But you're a bit overdressed for this occasion, don't you think?"

Looking down at the shirt, Kendall bites his lip and nods, pulling the fabric over his head, tossing it onto the end of the bed. "How's that?"

"Better, but don't you think I should put some underwear on, too?" Carlos moves a hand to Kendall's chest and strokes it lightly.

"I'm wearing yours," Kendall says smugly, grinning as he moves his fingers along the back of Carlos' hand slowly. "But you're welcome to a pair of mine, if you really feel out of place with your nakedness."

Carlos rolls his eyes and shakes his head, laughing as he drops his hand to Kendall's thigh. "I think I'm good with the sheet. So, twenty questions?"

"We're not really going to play that, are we?"

"No, of course not," Carlos replies, rolling his eyes again. "I'm going to ask more than twenty questions, and I hope you ask me more than that."

Nodding, Kendall smiles and licks his lips. "Alright. You start, since it  _was_  your idea."

"Alright. What's your last name?"

"Don't laugh at me," Kendall warns, blushing when Carlos laughs and promises that he won't. "My last name is Knight."

A grin tugs at the corner of Carlos' mouth and Kendall smacks his hand lightly. "I'm not making fun of you! It's a great last name, but I expected something different. Something... rich or exotic."

"Just cause my parents are rich?" Kendall asks, quirking a brow.

"Pretty much, yeah."

Kendall rolls his eyes and laughs. "Alright, so what's your last name, then?"

Pursing his lips together, Carlos shrugs. "Garcia," he replies, smiling at Kendall when a grin takes over his lips. "Did you expect anything different?"

"Yeah, maybe something a little harder to say."

"Is it because I'm Mexican?" Carlos teases, winking at Kendall.

"Of course." Laughing, Kendall nudges his knee against Carlos'. "Your turn."

Carlos hums and moves his hand down Kendall's thigh slowly. "You play guitar, right?" He nods toward the corner and smiles.

"Yep. Guitar, piano, and drums," Kendall answers, putting his hands on the outside of Carlos' thighs.

"That's hot," Carlos mumbles, licking his lips slowly. "Your turn."

Screwing his face up, Kendall thinks and rubs his lips together. "How old are you?"

"Does it matter?"

Kendall shrugs and laughs. "Not really, but I'd still like to know. You said you graduated a few years ago, so I was just wondering."

"I'm twenty," Carlos answers, smiling. "I'll be twenty-one in August."

"Noted." Laughing, Kendall leans in and kisses Carlos softly. "Your turn," he whispers as he eases back slowly.

Carlos' eyes flutter shut and he breathes in deeply. "When's  _your_  birthday?"

"November," Kendall answers. "Did you always want to be a mechanic?"

"Not always," Carlos mumbles as he opens his eyes, looking at Kendall. "It was kind of a last-resort thing, you know? My parents saw me going down a 'dangerous' path and Gustavo saw it too, you know, so he offered to teach me everything he knows. Logan too, because he was just as screwed up as I was. Now we're on the right path and we're both happy."

As Carlos speaks, Kendall nods his head and rubs his thighs. "I'm glad you're happy," he says softly, smiling a little.

"Me too." With a small chuckle, Carlos moves his hands to either side of Kendall's neck, thumbing across his jaw. "What do you want to do with your life? Like, career-wise."

"Something that deals with music." After a pause, Kendall grins. "I want to be a producer or I want to become a performer and share what I love to do with millions of people. I want my music to make someone happy some day," he adds, a small blush creeping along his cheeks.

"That's great." Carlos smiles and rubs Kendall's neck slowly. "Will you play something for me sometime?" When Carlos says that, Kendall suddenly remembers how Camille asked the same thing and he nods, ducking his head a bit as he blushes more. "What  _are_  you blushing for?" Carlos asks, laughing quietly.

Shrugging, Kendall plays with the sheet covering Carlos' lower half. "I dunno, I'm just not used to people hearing me play, that's all. No one's been forced to sit through a performance of mine for years," he admits, licking his lips.

"Well," Carlos starts, leaning over to rest his forehead on top of Kendall's, mumbling, "I wouldn't be forced to do anything. I want to hear you play, and you can take all the time in the world to do it for me. I won't pressure you into it, you know."

And the strange thing is, Kendall does know that Carlos would never pressure him into anything; he can tell it by the way Carlos speaks and touches him, fingers light as a feather against his skin. The whole thing makes Kendall smile and he lifts his head, pressing his forehead against Carlos', the tips of their nose touching.

"Who's turn is it now?" He asks, studying Carlos' eyes quietly as he waits for an answer.

"Yours," Carlos answers, slipping his arms around Kendall's neck, cupping the back of his head with one hand.

Kendall nods and closes his eyes, breathing softly through his nose. "Do your parents know that you're gay?"

"Yeah, they know." A chuckle leaves Carlos' throat and he licks his lips. "They kind of found out on their own before I had the chance to tell them. My dad found my porn stash and they confronted me about it that night when I came home. I was like, fourteen when it happened and I can remember being terrified that they would hate me, but... they didn't," he adds, moving his fingers through Kendall's hair slowly. "What about yours?"

Snorting, Kendall shakes his head and sighs. "No, they don't know. I'm gonna tell them before I leave for college in the fall," he mutters, brushing his nose against Carlos'. "I think my mom will accept me, but my dad may freak out and I honestly don't care."

"What's up with that anyway? Sorry, I don't mean to intrude, but -"

"It's fine," Kendall sighs, interrupting Carlos. "Things weren't always like this, you know. I remember being little, and he'd come home at the same time every night... that's back when things were great and my parents still loved each other. But then we moved here and he became this big, fancy lawyer that handled murder cases and shit like that and we started to see less of him. He would miss my concerts and make it up to me by buying me another guitar or something else, when all I wanted was for him to show up..." His voice cracks and he clears his throat, feeling Carlos' hand cupping his jaw.

"You don't have to keep talking about it," Carlos whispers, his other hand smoothing down the back of Kendall's head.

Taking a deep breath, Kendall shakes his head. "No, I'm alright," he mutters, focusing on the way Carlos' fingers feel as they move down the nape of his neck. "I still loved him, even when he chose work over me and my mom, but then things just got ridiculous. He would come home later and later and start to drink the second he got in, claiming it was to 'wash the memories of the day away' which I knew was bullshit, but I never said anything. I didn't  _want_  to say anything 'cause I didn't know what he'd do to me, but he's never... he's never been violent, not with me and not with my mom. He was just  _absent_ , then he turned into a drunk when he was around us, and I couldn't handle it."

The entire time, Carlos listens to Kendall talk and nods his head, running his fingers across his shoulders lovingly, letting his touch tell Kendall that it's okay and that he's there. The other boy seems to relax under his fingers and Carlos strokes his skin slowly, rough fingertips brushing along the smooth skin of Kendall's shoulder, dipping down over his bicep.

"Then he tells me that he's cheating on my mom and acts like it's nothing," Kendall continues, letting out a harsh bark of laughter. "And he's so stupid, picking some other woman over my mom, who is perfect. She's suffered through everything my dad has put her through and she's still here, being a great mom and wife, when he's out fucking someone else. It makes me sick, thinking about him with someone else and how he lies about it, probably lies to her and doesn't tell the woman about his wife and kid at home."

"Asshole," Carlos mumbles, dragging his fingers over Kendall's elbow.

"You have no idea," Kendall mumbles, shaking his head and sighing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to unload on you like that. I just... haven't been able to get my feelings out yet. So, thank you for listening," he adds, smiling meekly.

Shaking his head, Carlos smiles and leans in, kissing Kendall's lips gently. "It's alright, and I don't mind listening. People say I'm a good listener, and I guess that's true from time to time."

"Well, thank you, again." Kendall grins at Carlos and kisses him again. "Who's turn is it now?"

"Uh," Carlos laughs, shrugging a shoulder. "I dunno. I guess we'll wing it from here?" When Kendall laughs and nods, Carlos licks his lips and makes a thinking face, tapping his fingers against the bend of Kendall's arm. "We'll go with basic things now. What's your favourite colour?"

"Blue," Kendall answers immediately, grinning. "What about yours?"

Carlos' teeth worry his bottom lip and he laughs nervously. "Purple," he answers in a tight voice, scrunching his face up slightly.

"Aw, are you embarrassed?" Kendall laughs and kisses Carlos' lips. "I think it's cute, that you're embarrassed  _and_  that your favourite colour is purple."

"Yeah, yeah," Carlos mumbles against Kendall's lips, kissing back. "Favourite band?"

Easing back, Kendall narrows his eyes. "Incubus," he says, nodding his head. "Definitely Incubus. Favourite movie?"

"Donnie Darko."

"Great movie," Kendall mumbles, moving his hands up and onto Carlos' sides.

Carlos laughs and nods slowly. "It's perfect," he replies, sliding his hand down over Kendall's forearm. "Do you drink beer?"

"Of course, what kind of teenager would I be if I didn't?" Shaking his head, Kendall pushes Carlos down onto the mattress, straddling his lap. "What's one thing that turns you on the most?"

"I thought we were asking innocent questions." Carlos' tone is halfhearted and he smirks, moving a hand up the front of Kendall's stomach.

"We are, but I just wanted to ask."

Carlos nods and thinks for a moment, splaying his hand against Kendall's skin. "Being bitten," he answers finally, rubbing his hand in slow circles.

"Me too," Kendall offers, making a small noise.

"Good to know." Closing his eyes, Carlos takes a deep breath and slides his hand up slowly. "Would you like to go out on a date with me tomorrow night?"

The offer is unexpected and Kendall blinks, staring down at Carlos as he chews on his lower lip. "That's kind of random, and not a fact about me," he mumbles around his lip, moving a hand to touch Carlos' chest.

"It's what I was thinking.. and I want to know: are you willing to go out with me tomorrow night?" Carlos asks again, cracking an eye open to look up at Kendall, grinning.

"Well," Kendall starts, chewing on the right side of his lip before releasing it and catching the left side between his teeth. "I guess I could... Yes, I'd love to go out with you tomorrow night." Heat creeps along Kendall's chest and spreads over his neck and face, a blush settling in for the countless time that afternoon.

Chuckling, Carlos sits up and wraps his arms around Kendall, kissing his jaw softly. "I won't take you anywhere weird, I promise. Just dinner and then maybe we can hang out with Logan and Gustavo and a couple more people afterwards," he whispers, the words falling against Kendall's skin as a soft breath.

 _He wants me to hang out with his friends_ , Kendall thinks, feeling Carlos' lips travel up the inside of his jaw, hot breath falling against his earlobe. He shivers and lets his eyes roll back before he closes them, moving a hand to the back of Carlos' head, threading his fingers in the other boy's dark hair, swallowing hard. When Carlos' lips touch the shell of his ear, Kendall drops his head forward and slumps against Carlos' chest, breathing deeply through his nose.

"Is that a yes?" Carlos whispers again, breathing softly against Kendall's ear, making him squeak; he laughs at the noise and drags the tip of his nose down, letting it trace the curve of Kendall's jaw as he waits for a response.

"Y-yes," Kendall manages to whimper, pressing his free hand against the middle of Carlos' chest.

With a smile, Carlos pulls away and rests his head against Kendall's. "What kind of food do you like?"

Kendall shrugs and buries his face against Carlos' neck, mumbling, "I like anything, doesn't matter."

"Gorgeous  _and_  he's not picky. I think I've found the perfect man," Carlos teases, moving his hand up, touching Kendall's back. His fingers drag up the curve of the other boy's spine and he hums, closing his eyes. "My mom's a teacher and my dad's a cop," he says after a moment, laughing quietly.

"And does he know you smoke pot?" Kendall asks, his words falling against Carlos' neck.

"Yes, but he turns the other cheek. Says he doesn't mind if I  _smoke_  it, but if I start selling it, he's going to slap me upside the head."

Giggling quietly, Kendall wraps his arms around Carlos' neck and nuzzles him a little. "Your parents sound great," he mumbles, sighing.

"My mom's awesome and my dad's cool once you get past the fact that he's a cop," Carlos replies, shrugging a bit. "Your mom sounds amazing, I definitely need to meet her one day."

When Carlos mentions meeting his mom, Kendall's heart pounds in his chest and he takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. He thinks about Carlos and his mom meeting and talking, the two of them bonding over something, and he swallows hard, reminding himself not to look too far into the future and to focus on the present. "Well, if you hang around for a while, you can meet her," he says, smiling against Carlos' neck.

The two of them fall into a comfortable silence and Kendall feels like he could fall asleep against Carlos' chest, breathing in his scent while he rubs his back slowly. He almost dozes off once or twice but manages to stay away, focusing on Carlos' breathing or the hand on his skin, the fingers moving around in small circles.

"Are you hungry?" Kendall asks.

Carlos shrugs. "A little," he replies, chuckling.

"Come on." Reluctantly, Kendall moves off of Carlos' lap and stands next to the bed, taking the other boy's briefs off before handing them to him, grinning. "You'll need those," he mumbles, watching as Carlos pushes the sheet off his legs, before pulling the briefs on, snapping the elastic against his hips before standing.

"Won't you need pants, too?" Carlos asks, moving a hand over the curve of Kendall's ass.

Rolling his eyes, Kendall moves away and goes around the bed, grabbing a pair of boxers from the floor; he puts them on quickly and turns around to face Carlos, smiling. "Now I'm all set."

Once he's close enough, Carlos slips his hand into Kendall's and smiles, nudging him toward the door. Kendall gets the message and leads Carlos out the room, stepping into the hallway quietly. The whole house is quiet and the hallway is dark as they make their way to the stairs, Kendall intertwining his fingers with Carlos'.

Kendall leads Carlos down the stairs and he watches the other boy quietly, eyes roaming over his shoulders and arms, gaze going down the curve of his back before he realizes they're at the bottom of the stairs. Squeezing Kendall's hand lightly, Carlos smiles and follows him into the kitchen, letting go of his hand reluctantly, letting his own rest easily against his thigh.

"Lemme see what we have," Kendall mumbles as he goes to the fridge and opens the door, bending down to look at the shelves. He makes a humming noise and Carlos watches him as he walks to the counter, hopping up onto it, drinking in the sight in front of him. "We have eggs, if you want to eat breakfast for dinner?"

"Sounds good to me." Leaning back, Carlos rests his head against the cabinets and smiles as Kendall grabs a carton of eggs and a gallon of milk from the fridge, shutting the door with his hip. His boxers hang low and Carlos' eyes go over the sharp cut of his hips, biting his lip softly. "Do you know how to cook?" He asks, swinging his legs back and forth, listening to the soft thump of his heel hitting the cabinets below him.

Kendall rolls his eyes and sets everything down on the counter. "I know how to cook, don't worry. I'm not going to poison you," he replies, turning to smirk at Carlos before going around the kitchen. He grabs a bowl and two plates, a skillet, some butter from the fridge, and a whisk, carrying it all over to the counter where the eggs and milk are.

"Wasn't worried about you poisoning me," Carlos mumbles, smirking as he turns to watch Kendall. "And I think it's sexy that you know how to cook, and that you're going to do it in your boxers."

"Don't get used to it."

They laugh together and Kendall starts working on cracking eggs into the bowl; he whisks them when he's done cracking and he adds a splash of milk to them, mixing it together. Leaving his work station, Kendall goes to grab the salt and pepper shakers from the middle of the table, singing softly to himself as he walks back to the counter, watching Carlos from the corner of his eye. He bites his lip and stops in front of the bowl, shaking salt and pepper into the egg and milk mixture before he whisks it again.

Kendall grabs the pan and the butter, moving a couple of inches to stand in front of the stove. "Do you want anything else with your scrambled eggs?"

"Toast," Carlos replies, leaning his head against the cabinet, eyes fixated on Kendall. "Please," he adds playfully, grinning.

"Gotcha." As he sets the pan on the stove, Kendall turns the burner on and goes to grab a knife and a spatula from the dishwasher, giving Carlos a perfect view of his back. He hears the other boy groan and smirks, blushing slightly before coming back to the pan, holding his hand over it to determine how hot it is. Once it's at temperature, Kendall cuts off a piece of butter and tosses it into the pan, turning the heat down immediately before going to grab the bowl of eggs.

"Anything I can do?"

Turning, Kendall smiles at Carlos. "You can fix the toast, if you want."

"Great!" Carlos laughs and jumps off the counter, biting his lip. "Where's the bread?"

Kendall laughs and points to a cabinet to his left. "And the toaster is -"

"I can  _see_  the toaster." With a smirk, Carlos goes behind Kendall and smacks his ass just after he pours the eggs into the pan. A yelp of surprise leaves Kendall's throat and he laughs, swatting Carlos' arm before turning back to the stove. He stirs the eggs and pushes them around the pan slowly, watching Carlos from the corner of his eye again.

Twenty minutes later, Carlos and Kendall sit on the counter next to one another, eating and enjoying the silence. When Carlos is done eating, he hops off the counter and puts his plate in the sink, turning to lean against it, watching Kendall quietly. He smiles when the other boy looks up and raises his eyebrows, the expression saying  _what are you looking at me for_?

"I'm glad I met you," he says, licking his lips slowly.

Another blush fleets across Kendall's cheeks and he looks down at his almost-empty plate. "I'm glad I met you too," he mutters, biting his lower lip before finishing off the rest of his food. When he looks up, Carlos is standing in front of him, smirking; it almost scares Kendall and he does jump a little, laughing.

Sighing, Carlos rubs Kendall's thigh slowly. "I should probably get going. You don't know what time your old man's coming home, do you?"

"Oh shit! No, I texted him, though," Kendall says, suddenly jumping off the counter, moving Carlos out of the way. He moves toward the stairs and goes up them, just barely hearing the soft pad of Carlos' footsteps as he follows. When he gets to his room, Kendall grabs his phone and reads the text from his father, biting his lip. "He says he'll be home at seven," he mumbles, turning to look at Carlos, who's leaning against the door frame.

"And... what time is it now?"

Kendall looks at his phone and laughs. "Six thirty."

"So, I should be going," Carlos mumbles, pushing off the door frame and moving toward Kendall. "That's cool, I'll get outta here before he comes home," he says, leaning in to kiss the space between Kendall's shoulderblades.

"Mm," Kendall hums, tossing his phone onto the bed. "But we'll see each other tomorrow," he says, his voice hopeful.

Carlos laughs against Kendall's skin and nods, kissing the nape of his neck. "Of course. I'll text you tomorrow and tell you what kind of outfit to wear and what time I'll be picking you up, alright?"

"Okay."

Putting his hands on Kendall's hips, Carlos turns him around and lifts a hand, cupping his chin lightly. With a smile, he leans up and kisses Kendall softly, closing his eyes the second their lips touch. He sighs and slides his hand up, pressing his palm flat against Kendall's jaw, kissing him slowly before easing away, licking his lower lip. "Have a good night, Kendall."

Kendall swallows hard and smiles. "You too," he says and adds quickly, "and drive carefully."

"I always do," Carlos replies, laughing before pecking Kendall's lips again. He drops his hand and grabs his shirt from the bed, slipping it on quickly before bending down to pick his pants up. Slipping into the denim, Carlos looks at Kendall and smiles, eyes roaming over his body for what feels like the countless time. "Goodnight," he whispers, leaning in to kiss Kendall one last time once his jeans are done up.

"Goodnight, Carlos."

With that, Carlos turns and disappears into the hall, making his way to the stairs before Kendall comes out, following him down into the living room. He watches Carlos kneel in front of the coffee table, dipping down and reaching underneath until he grabs his shoes. Once he has them, Carlos stands up and pulls them on, looking at Kendall with a smile. "Thanks for inviting me over," he says, slipping his hands into his pockets.

Kendall knows that Carlos is procrastinating and he smirks, nodding. "Thanks for coming over."

"Anytime," Carlos says, winking at Kendall before lifting a hand, running it through his hair. "See you tomorrow," he says finally, and smiles one last time before moving to the door, grabbing his keys out of his pocket. He opens the door and walks out of it, letting it click back in place behind him, leaving Kendall alone in the living room.

Outside, Kendall can hear the sound of Carlos' engine revving and he waits until the noise is gone before going upstairs. He pulls his boxers off and goes into the bathroom turning the water on; part of him doesn't want to shower, but Kendall knows that his father will smell sex and sweat on his skin and he'll question where it came from.  _Then again_ , Kendall thinks, _maybe he won't even notice_.

Deciding not to chance it, Kendall climbs into the shower and washes thoroughly, singing to himself as he rinses the suds off. He steps out of the tub once he's done and grabs a towel, wrapping it around his waist as he walks back into his room, looking around it slowly. Even though nothing had been moved, it feels different and Kendall breathes in deeply, smiling to himself as he moves toward his dresser, opening drawers and pulling clothes out.

Ten minutes later, Kendall's dried and clothed, lounging on the couch when the door opens. He turns the TV down and tilts his head back, watching his father walk through the door in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, an outfit Kendall's mother refers to as Christopher's 'plain' clothes. Dropping his head back toward his chest, Kendall focuses on the TV and listens to his father's shoes drop to the ground, counting off seconds in his head, stopping at six when he feels the couch dip at the other end.

"Hey," Christopher says, and Kendall can tell by the tone of his voice that he's exhausted. He wonders where his father has been staying and quickly pushes that thought from his mind. "What are you watching?"

Kendall shrugs and looks at his dad. "I dunno, something about cars. I'm not really paying attention," he mutters.

"Ah," his father says, nodding, not taking his eyes off the TV. "Did you eat already? I smell food."

"I had something a while ago, but I can eat again." Turning his head toward the TV, Kendall sighs and taps the remote against his knee.

"Good, 'cause I'm starving. You want pizza?" Kendall shrugs and makes a noncommittal noise, eyes glued to the screen. "Pepperoni and sausage with extra cheese sound good?" In honesty, it did sound good - perfect, even - but Kendall makes no attempts to tell his father that and he just shrugs, making another noise.

Christopher gets off the couch and goes into the kitchen, leaving Kendall alone for a few minutes while he calls in the order. When he comes back out, Kendall's slumped in the corner of the couch with his feet against the edge of the coffee table, knees bent slightly. He doesn't say anything or acknowledge the fact that his father is back, just keeps watching a guy work on a transmission on television, wondering why he's watching something about cars anyway.  _Because of Carlos_ , Kendall thinks, smiling fondly.

"How have you been?" Christopher asks and Kendall turns his head, narrowing his eyes.

With a shrug, Kendall turns back toward the TV. "I've been fine. Working, getting ready to go to Berklee.*"

Christopher nods and clears his throat. "How's your mom doing?"

"Do you  _really_  care about how she's doing?" Kendall snaps, throwing the remote onto the cushion between them.

"Kendall, you know I care about your mother," Christopher says, spreading his hands helplessly.

When his father opens his mouth to speak again, Kendall cuts him off. "Clearly you don't. Where have you been staying, huh? With  _Samantha_? Or are you living in a hotel or out of your office?"

"I've been staying at a hotel," his father admits, pursing his lips together. "And I'd appreciate it if you showed me a little respect."

"That's laughable," Kendall snorts, shaking his head. "The  _adulterer_  wants me to show him some respect. I didn't know you earned respect by cheating on your wife of what is it? Twenty years?"

Clenching his jaw, Christopher stares at Kendall. "You may be an adult, but you're still my son, living under  _my_  roof."

"Yeah? While you're where? In some lavish hotel room, fucking your precious little secretary while mom and me are here, working and living our lives like nothing is wrong!" Kendall raises his voice and laughs angrily. "You know what? I don't even care. In a couple of months, I'll be out of here and you can do what you want. I hope mom finds someone better, honestly. She doesn't deserve this, you know," he adds, voice going soft when he speaks the last six words.

His father sighs and nods. "I know, Kendall, and I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"You  _never_  do. When I was eleven and you missed my  _first_  concert, you said you didn't mean to stay at work late. You said that you were just going over things and finalizing the paperwork for a big case and that everyone lost track of time. You missed it and bought me a fucking guitar to make up for it. A  _guitar_ , dad! When all I wanted was for you to come see me play," Kendall's voice breaks and he chuckles, wiping at his eyes with his fingers. "Doesn't matter now. You'll never get to see me perform, and it's  _your own_  damn fault."

The world goes quiet and Kendall sniffles, crossing his arms over his chest, refusing to look at his father. Meanwhile, Christopher gapes at his son and then closes his mouth, clenching his jaw again as he turns to stare at the TV. They sit in silence until someone knocks on the door and Christopher gets up, going to answer it. Kendall listens to him talk to the pizza boy and hears the door shut before his father calls out, "Pizza's in the kitchen. I'm going to go back to my hotel. Tell Jennifer I miss her."

Kendall waits until he hears his father leave, recoiling when he hears the door slam, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He wants to scream and cry and trash everything his dad owns, but most of all - Kendall wants Carlos. With a sigh, Kendall gets up and turns the TV off before moving to the kitchen, opening the pizza box and grabbing a slice, eating it over the box, thinking about Carlos as he eats. He wants nothing more than to lay on the couch with Carlos, feeling their bodies press tightly against one another, Carlos' breath against his ear.

Part of him wants to call Carlos and beg for him to come back, but he doesn't; he just eats and thinks about everything, Carlos coming to the front of his mind and making him smile, despite all the shit he's going through. When Kendall finishes two slice of pizza, he puts the box in the fridge and turns all the lights off before locking the door and triple checking everything. He makes his way upstairs and falls onto his bed, staring at the ceiling with a hand resting low on his stomach, thinking about the way Carlos touched him.

It's the memories of Carlos' touch - and his kiss - that makes Kendall smile and he sighs heavily, closing his eyes. He's not tired, but he lays in the middle of his bed with his eyes closed anyway, fingertips brushing up and down the middle of his stomach, pushing his shirt up to touch the thin trail of hair leading down to the top of his shorts.

 _Fuck him_ , Kendall thinks as he opens his eyes, turning his head to look out the window. He can see the moon shining brightly against the night sky and he takes a deep breath, cradling his head in the crook of his arm, watching the moon for a while, thinking about how things will change the second he leaves for Boston. When he thinks about leaving, Kendall thinks about abandoning Carlos and his chest tightens; he pushes the thought away and thinks about spending the rest of his summer with Carlos and Logan and their friends.

* * *

  
***** _Berklee is a school for music and it's in Boston (obviously, I've mentioned that once or twice) - so if you were wondering what school Kendall was going to, that's it! (Also, this fic is set in Minnesota. I haven't mentioned that yet (or I don't think I have, anyway), so if you were wondering about that too, I'm sorry! But now you know. :D)_ *****  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: verbal fighting.]

Kendall wakes up when he hears a door slam down the hall and he pushes himself up onto his elbows, mumbling sleepily as sunlight pours through the window, warming his back and shoulders as he lays there, listening to heavy footsteps stomp down the hall. When the sound fades away, Kendall rolls over onto his back and runs both hands down his face, groaning against his palms, wondering what's going on and if he should get up to see. After a moment, he sits up and pushes the tangled sheets away from his legs, rolling them into a ball as he gets to his feet, tossing the sheets behind him.

With a loud yawn, Kendall goes to his door and opens it, poking his head out to listen for any sounds of human life; when he doesn't hear anything, he steps out into the hall and goes to the stairs. The closer he gets to the first level, the more Kendall can hear and he chews his lower lip, listening to things being thrown around in the kitchen. His heart hammers in his chest as he steps off the bottom stair and moves to the kitchen, his footsteps quiet and careful, breath caught in his throat.

"God  _damnit_ ," Christopher says angrily as he leans against the counter, breathing hard. When Kendall hears his father's voice, he almost turns back toward the stairs, but keeps walking into the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest, watching as Christopher turns to look at him. "Oh, you're up," he says, huffing.

"Yeah, kind of woke up when you slammed the door," Kendall replies, clenching his jaw.

"That wasn't me, it was Jennifer."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall moves to the fridge and turns his back on his father. "Then I don't blame her for waking me up," he says as he opens the door, reaching in to grab a bottle of orange juice off the shelf.

"Why do you act like I'm the bad guy?" Christopher asks, his tone hurt and upset; it makes Kendall smirk and he shuts the fridge, turning to the counter. "Will you talk to me,  _please_? Kendall, I'm still your father."

"Well why don't you try acting like one for a change?" Kendall quips, reaching up to open the cabinet. "Oh, that's right - you forgot how to be a father when you became a big fucking lawyer," he mutters as he grabs a glass and sets it on the counter, pouring juice into it.

He can almost hear his father's jaw clench from across the room and he laughs. "Will you stop blaming me?"

"I'll stop blaming you when  _you_  stop doing things to hurt my mother." The words come out harsher than Kendall intended but he doesn't apologize for his tone, just drinks his juice and stares out the kitchen window, wondering where his mother went.

"I made a mistake, Kendall," Christopher starts, "and I just wish that you and your mother could see that... and that I'm trying to make amends, here."

"Did you stop fucking Samantha?" Kendall asks, turning to stare at his father.

"What? I... I don't see how that's relevant," his father replies, forehead furrowing.

 _Of course not_ , Kendall thinks, smirking. "If you're really trying to right your wrongs, then you'll answer me this  _simple fucking question_ , Christopher: did. you. stop. fucking. Samantha?" He punctuates each word angrily, his voice growing louder.

"Kendall Thomas Knight*," Christopher starts, but Kendall cuts him off with a harsh bark of laughter.

"Don't pull the middle name card,  _dad_."

"Then don't call me by my first name, it's disrespectful."

Kendall snorts and takes the bottle of juice to the fridge, putting it back on the shelf. "Then stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your brain," he mutters as he walks back into the living room, leaving his father in the kitchen alone, mouth agape as he watches his son walk away.

On his way to the stairs, Kendall hears something outside and changes direction, heading toward the front door as he downs his orange juice, setting the empty glass on a small table near the door. He opens it and steps out onto the porch, glancing toward the driveway where his mother is standing against her car, glaring at his father's, looking like she's seconds away from keying it.

"You're home," Kendall calls out as he shuts the door and moves down the steps, scratching his head as he walks toward his mother. "He's inside throwing a fit, talking about making amends and bullshit." Shrugging, Kendall drops his hand and crosses both arms over his chest as he stares at his dad's car, thinking about keying it himself.

"I'm sorry I left you here alone with...  _that,_ " Jennifer says, her expression apologetic. "I just had to get out before I did something I would regret," she adds, chuckling quietly.

Shaking his head, Kendall smiles at his mom. "It's alright, I can deal with him... and I think I can take him if it came to an altercation," he says and laughs before yawning, covering his mouth with one hand, keeping the other underneath his arm.

"By the way," his mother starts, giggling between words, "you're outside in your  _boxers,_  did you know that?"

"What? Oh," Kendall looks down and laughs again, shrugging a shoulder. "Forgot to get dressed, whoops. The neighbors aren't seeing much though, thank God."

"Let's keep it that way, okay?" Jennifer smiles and touches Kendall's cheek with one of her hands. "Let's go inside and see what damage your father's done to my house," she sighs, dropping her hand to Kendall's arm, steering him toward the porch.

"Probably none, seeing as he knows I can kick his ass if he screws with anything."

That makes them both laugh and Kendall opens the door, motioning for his mom to go in first before following behind her, grabbing his glass off the table before she sees it. He follows Jennifer into the kitchen and sees his dad sitting at the table, both hands pressed against his face; it looks like he's sleeping because he's not moving, but he straightens up when Kendall clears his throat. "Taking a nap?" he asks, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

Christopher doesn't pay attention to Kendall and his remark. "I'm sorry, Jennifer," he pleads, hands held out toward his wife.

"Don't care. We'll settle all of this with the divorce lawyer," Jennifer replies, hands placed firmly on her hips. "Now, unless you need clothes or any of the papers from your office, I suggest that you leave."

Hearing his parents argue makes Kendall want to add fuel to the fire and just tell them that he's gay and he's seeing the most amazing boy in the world, but he doesn't say a word, just stands off to the side, listening to his parents. He looks between his mother and father when they stop talking, trying to figure out which one is going to break the silence first, but instead of Jennifer or Christopher saying anything, it's Kendall who interrupts.

"So, the divorce is official?" He asks, chewing his lip when his parents turn to glare at him. "Sorry, I'm just curious."

Christopher sighs and nods, pushing himself to his feet. "I guess it is official now that your mother is threatening me with a divorce lawyer," he says, his eyes rimmed in tears and Kendall wonders how much of his father's act is just for show.

"It was official when you told me you were still sleeping with that woman," Jennifer corrects, crossing both arms over her chest. "And I don't want to fight in front of my son -"

"Our son," Christopher interrupts.

"- _my_  son, especially when I only have a short time left with him before he goes away. So, if you want to spend time with Kendall or if you want to talk to me, you call and you  _don't_ come over unannounced, do you understand?"

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Christopher nods and walks out of the kitchen. "See you two later," he says before leaving the house, letting the door slam shut behind him; the noise makes Kendall jump and he curses under his breath, moving a hand to his hair, raking it back slowly.

"Well he's a bucket of sunshine and rainbows, huh?" He says, chuckling as he hears his father's engine start up before the noise fades away quickly. "You can do so much better than him, mom."

"I'm done after our divorce. I'm going to be single and move to a different house, maybe a different county, who knows? And I'm going to live my life the way I want, while you're off at college." Smiling, Jennifer moves over and hugs Kendall tightly before letting him go. "I am going to go finish the nap your father rudely interrupted. What are you going to do today?"

Kendall shrugs and leans against the fridge. "I might see if Camille wants to hang out this afternoon... and I'm going out with some other friends tonight, dunno what time, but it should be after six?"

"Well," Jennifer starts, taking a deep breath when she pauses, "don't drink and drive, okay? Promise me that if you  _do_  drink, that you stay where you are until you're sober enough to come home, or you get a ride from someone who hasn't had a drop of alcohol. If you stay the night somewhere, just text me and let me know. I don't want to worry about you tonight."

"I promise, mom - no drinking and driving and I'll text you if I'm staying over at someone's house."

"Good." His mother smiles and moves toward the living room. "Good morning, sweetheart. I'll see you... later." She laughs and shakes her head as she disappears into the living room and Kendall follows her a moment later, going up to his room.

Kendall sits on his bed and plugs his phone in before bringing a text up; he selects Camille as the destination and types,  _'What are you doing today? I was thinking about going to the music store. Wanna come with me?'_ The message sends and Kendall sets his phone back down as he gets up and goes over to his dresser, pulling the drawers open quickly, pulling out an Avengers t-shirt before slipping it over his head.

He grabs a pair of shorts out of another drawer and pulls them on, moving toward the nightstand when his phone goes off, buttoning and zipping his pants before checking the message from Camille.

_'I'd love to! Give me a few minutes to get ready, then come pick me up?'_

Smiling, Kendall types a reply with one hand,  _'Sure. I'll see you in ten minutes.'_

After setting his phone down again, Kendall moves to the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror, trying to decide if he wants to brush his hair or keep it the way it looks (which is messy and spiking out in a dozen different ways). He stares at himself and then bends down, turning the water on before cupping his hands under the stream; when he has enough water in his palms, Kendall pours it over his hair and then shuts the faucet off as he stands up, shaking his head, sending tiny drops of water off the ends of his hair.

Moments later, Kendall emerges from his room with his hair brushed and his bangs hanging over his eyes, small drops of water sliding down them and over the slope of his nose. He pushes the water away with his hand and grabs a towel from the pile of clothes on the floor before drying his hair quickly, messing it up again. This time, he flattens it with his hands the best he can as he moves around the room, looking for his wallet; he finds it in a pair of pants and puts it in his back pocket before unplugging his phone.

Kendall moves into the hall and to the stairs quietly, taking them as quickly as possible before jumping off the bottom stair; he hardly makes any noise against the carpet and he's thankful for that, because he doesn't want to wake his mom up. Sliding his phone into his empty back pocket, Kendall heads to the door and grabs his Doc Martens, pulling them on quickly before taking his keys off the hook. He leaves the house and locks the door behind him, turning to lean against it as he bends down to lace up his boots, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket.

When he straightens up, Kendall grabs his phone and checks the newest message from Camille, smiling when it says that she's ready and waiting for him. He jumps off the porch and goes toward his car, whistling softly as he gets in and starts the engine, putting the car in reverse before backing out, glancing in the rear view mirror as he does.

The engine purrs when Kendall pulls out into the road and he puts the car in drive before heading down the street, stopping in front of Camille's house, spotting her on the sidewalk wearing a black dress. As he stops, Kendall wonders if that's the kind of girl his parents want him to be with and he shrugs, pushing that thought from his mind as he watches Camille get inside the car, smiling at her once she's inside.

"Hey, you look nice," he offers, glancing at her one last time before turning back to the road.

Laughing, Camille nods and settles against the seat. "Thanks. So do you! Though, your hair looks less blonde today," she says, pouting slightly.

"That's 'cause it's wet right now," Kendall explains, shaking his head as he drives to the end of the road, stopping at a stop sign. "How're you doing?"

"I'm good... even better now that I'm out of that house."

Kendall laughs and nods. "I get that. I'll keep you out for a while, don't worry, but after six you're on your own 'cause I've got a date tonight." Even as he says it, Kendall can't believe that he's actually going out on a date with Carlos. Sexy, gorgeous, sweet and lovable Carlos who is almost too good to be true.

"With Carlos? Speaking of, how was your little date yesterday?" Camille turns in her seat as she talks and watches Kendall drive, a big grin on her face. "Tell me everything, even the dirty little details you think I wouldn't enjoy."

Rolling his eyes and laughing again, Kendall licks his lips. "He came over to my house and we couldn't go five minutes without touching each other. It was...  _insane_ , Camille. It was like I couldn't get enough of him, you know? Like every touch wasn't enough because it left me wanting more and more."

"Did you two have sex?"

"That's a little blunt, don't you think?" Kendall asks, chuckling as he glances at Camille before taking a turn at the stop sign.

Camille shrugs and smiles. "A little, but your avoidance of the question tells me that you two did have sex."

Once he turns, Kendall sighs and settles back against the seat, running one hand down his face. "Yes, we had sex... and it was amazing. Much better than the sex I had with my ex," he answers, chewing on his lower lip.

"Were you the top or the bottom?"

"Camille!"

"What? It's a question! I'm honestly curious, so fess up."

Sighing, Kendall licks his lips and blushes. "Top. It was my first time and  _god_ , it was perfect;  _Carlos_  is perfect."

Camille squeals and pats Kendall's shoulder. "Our boy's finally stuck his dick in something!"

"Gee, thanks," Kendall mumbles, laughing quietly. "And to answer your previous question: yes, I am going out with Carlos tonight. We're apparently going out to dinner and then we're hanging out with his friends."

"I wish I could come," Camille sighs, turning away to stare out her window. "When can I meet him?"

Kendall purses his lips together and thinks, shrugging as he makes another turn, heading toward town. "I dunno, maybe sometime this week if he's not working and  _I'm_  not working. We could all have dinner at my house one night when my mom's at work."

"So your dad's gone, then?"

Kendall nods and they both fall into a silence that's more comfortable than it is awkward and he watches Camille from the corner of his eye, smiling fondly. He never would have guessed, at the beginning of the summer, that he would make a friend in his last couple of months in town but he's glad he did... and he's glad that he found Carlos.

After a while, Camille asks, "So, will you play something for me at the music place?"

"Maybe." Smirking, Kendall drives through town and finally stops at a building with guitars lined up in the front window. "Here we are," he mutters as he pulls into the parking lot and into a space, shutting the car off before getting out. He goes around and helps Camille out of the passenger side and she hooks their arms together, letting him lead her into the store.

* * *

Two hours later, Kendall leaves the store with a Gibson Firebird Custom that costs him (well, his  _father_ ) over five thousand dollars. When he bought the guitar, Camille made a face and asked if he should be buying such an expensive guitar, but Kendall reassured her that it was fine; his father was paying for it, and it would come in handy when he went off to Berklee.

"It's a gorgeous guitar," Camille comments as Kendall loads the case into the trunk, making sure it's secure before shutting the trunk door, nodding.

"And it'll play great, too." With a smile, Kendall gets into the car and waits until Camille's inside before starting the engine and backing out of the space. He pulls to the edge of the parking lot and looks down the road both ways before taking a left and heading toward the center of town. "There's a great ice cream place a few blocks away," he says, turning to smile at Camille before adding, "if you want to go there, of course."

"I would love to." Camille returns the smile and watches buildings and cars pass by as Kendall drives, listening to hum under his breath.

In less than five minutes, Kendall pulls into another parking lot and parks the car before getting out; he leads Camille inside and directs her toward the counter, slipping both hands in his pockets as they wait in line. There's only a handful of people sitting around in the shop and Kendall looks around before bringing his attention to the list of flavors behind the counter.

When it's their turn, Camille orders a banana split and Kendall gets a sundae with chocolate and vanilla ice cream and half the toppings they advertise. He pays and watches a teenage girl scoop ice cream before turning to smile at Camille. "Thanks for agreeing to come with me," he says before leaning against her a little, laughing when she pokes him in the ribs.

"You're just lucky I love ice cream so much," she replies, before slipping an arm around his waist, leaning her head against his chest. "I think I'm going to miss you when you go away for college... Boston's so far away."

"I know," Kendall sighs, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "But I'll visit every Christmas and every break I have, so you'll be so sick of me that you'll be waiting to graduate so  _you_ can go away to college."

Camille snorts and headbutts Kendall's chest before dropping her arm when the teenage girl comes back and sets their ice cream down. They both smile and thank the girl before grabbing their dessert and heading toward a table in the corner. Kendall slides down into the booth and bends a leg, bringing it up onto the seat before he starts to eat.

"I won't be sick of you," Camille says after a few bites, before leaning over to steal a bite of Kendall's ice cream. "You're like, one of the coolest people I've ever met, both in this town and in my hometown."

Kendall chews and swallows, raising a brow as he asks, 'Where are you originally from?"

"Connecticut," she answers before taking another bite of ice cream. "My parents moved out here to be closer to my grandmother, who's..." she goes silent and shrugs her shoulders, turning her attention to the bowl in front of her.

Chewing his lip, Kendall nods. "I'm sorry," he says softly, watching her for a second before taking another bite, asking around it, "and you want to be an actress? So are you going to move to L.A. after you graduate?"

Camille nods and smiles, her mood instantly lifting. "Yeah, I plan on going to study out there. My parents think it's bullshit, but it's my dream. I'm sure your parents weren't thrilled when you said you wanted to become a rock star, right?"

"My mom was happy but my dad said I should be something else, like a lawyer or a doctor. Thing is, I've grown up with both of those in the house... well, my mom's not a  _doctor_ , but she's a nurse, which is close enough.. but medicine and law don't make me happy. Music does, and my mom saw that and says that she will support me emotionally and come to all my concerts if she can," Kendall laughs and licks his lips, taking another bite of ice cream. "My dad was mostly supportive in the way of money; he was always buying my guitars and even got me a piano once, but never will admit that he doesn't care what I do."

"That sucks," Camille says, but smiles. "At least your mom gets it. My mom says that she went through the whole 'I want to be an actor' phase when she was young too, but then she got pregnant and that dream burst. Now she sells real estate and my dad's in the army."

Kendall nods and finishes his dessert, sliding the bowl away from him. "I may never eat again," he mumbles, giving a weak laugh.

"But what about dinner with your Latin lover!" At that, Camille and Kendall both laugh and he shakes his head, watching her finish off her split.

When they're both done, Kendall takes Camille back home and sits out in her driveway for ten minutes, trying to convince her to go inside and that sneaking out to go to Carlos' party (or whatever it is, Kendall doesn't know what exactly is going on tonight) is a bad idea.

Camille pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. "But I want to meet Carlos! And see if he has any lesbian friends that I can make out with," she says, the pout turning into a grin in no time.

"You'll meet him some other time," Kendall says for the millionth time, smiling at her. "Now go. I can see your mom staring at us from the living room window and I'm afraid she's going to come out here and kill me if you sit here much longer."

"Fine," Camille sighs as she leans over, kissing Kendall's cheek. "Have a good night, and tell me all about it later, okay? Oh, and ask Carlos if he has any friends that are lesbians."

Kendall rolls his eyes and motions for Camille to go. "I promise that I'll  _try_ ," he says, laughing when Camille salutes before getting out of the car.

"See ya," she says before shutting the door and Kendall lifts a hand, waving to her before shaking his head and backing out of the driveway, before heading home, sighing contently as he pulls into his own driveway. He parks behind his mother's car and shuts the engine off before getting out and grabbing his phone, tapping the screen to check his messages, seeing one from Carlos.

 _'What are you doing?'_  the message says and Kendall sees that it was sent half an hour before.

 _'Just got home and saw your message,'_  he replies as he walks to the trunk of the car, slipping his phone into his pocket before opening the trunk and grabbing his guitar. After pulling it out, he shuts the trunk and goes inside, kicking his boots off by the door before taking his guitar into the living room, setting the case on the couch, feeling his phone go off again.

He checks the message and smiles at Carlos' reply.  _'That's cool. Hey, can you come over here in a little bit? There's a change of plans for tonight.'_

 _'Yeah, of course,'_  Kendall types, sending the message as he walks into the kitchen, looking up from his phone once the message is gone. He sees his mom standing at the stove and smiles, setting his phone on the counter before leaning onto it. "Hey," he says, laughing when Jennifer jumps. "Sorry, sorry.."

Jennifer shakes her head and laughs. "It's alright, I just didn't expect you home for a while, or at all."

"I've got some time before I need to leave again," Kendall says, shrugging a shoulder. "What are you making?"

"Spaghetti. Do you want some?" Kendall shakes his head and rubs a hand against his face before cradling his jaw in his palm. "So, where'd you go earlier?"

Kendall's phone buzzes and he ignores it for a moment, answering his mom. "I went out with Camille. We went to the music store and then got ice cream afterwards."

"Sounds fun. Did you buy anything?" As she talks, Jennifer stirs a pot on the stove and then turns to look at Kendall.

"I might have bought a really nice guitar, yes." Kendall smirks and finally checks his phone, reading Carlos' message.  _'Here's my address. Be here in an hour, okay? See you then, sexy. ;)'_  The message makes him grin even more and he puts his phone back onto the counter.

Jennifer looks at Kendall and raises an eyebrow. "Who was that?"

"Huh?"

"The message," his mother explains, nodding pointedly toward his phone.

Shrugging, Kendall puts his phone in his back pocket and stands. "A friend I'm hanging out with tonight."

"Oh," Jennifer says, smiling. "That's great. Now, what about this guitar? Can I see it?"

"If you want..." Biting his lip, Kendall turns to go back into the living room, grabbing the guitar case before carrying it back into the kitchen.

When he comes back in, Kendall sees his mom leaning onto the counter he was just standing at and he moves things around on the table before setting the case down, running his hands over it slowly. He wonders what his mom will say and if she'll make him take it back, guilt and anxiety gnawing at him before he finally pops the case open and gingerly lifts the guitar out of its case.

"It's a Gibson Firebird Custom," he mutters, turning to show it off to his mother, biting his lip again. "It's nice, huh?"

Jennifer's eyes go wide when she sees it and she nods. "It's beautiful, but honey... how much did it cost?"

"Price isn't an issue," Kendall says automatically, mimicking his father's voice.

"Kendall.."

Sighing, Kendall turns around and places the acoustic back into the case. "Five thousand and some change."

"Five..." Jennifer stops and swallows, shaking her head. "And let me guess, you didn't pay for it?"

"Nope. Christopher did." Kendall's reply is smooth and quick as he locks the case again, turning to look at his mother, who's frowning at him. "What?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You know charging things to your father's credit card is only going to make him even angrier," his mother says, her voice soft.

"Well, he owes me... and it's what he'd do anyway, right? If he fucks up and hurts me, he buys me a guitar to sate me. It's what he's always done and you've let him every other time, why not now?"

Pursing her lips, Jennifer shakes her head and then sighs. "Because this is different. I'm not going to make you take it back, but you are going to pay every cent to your father when the bill comes, do you understand?"

"Yeah," Kendall agrees, nodding his head as he turns to grab the case. "I'm leaving in an hour and I'll probably be gone all night," he says as he leaves the kitchen, making his way upstairs before going into his room. He shuts the door behind him and moves toward his bed, sitting down on the middle before opening the case again, running his fingers over the pickguard, admiring the inlay and the design.

* * *

Half an hour later, Kendall changes out of his Avengers t-shirt and his shorts, swapping the outfit for a tank top, a button-up shirt and a pair of tight black jeans. He throws on a pair of suspenders and lets them hang like he did the night his father spilled his secret and Kendall thinks about changing, but looks at the clock and decides that he doesn't have  _time_  to change.

He leaves the house and tells his mother goodnight before getting into the car and driving to the address Carlos gave him, heart pounding against his ribs as he gets closer to his destination. His hands sweat and he flexes his fingers around the steering wheel, swallowing thickly as he turns onto Carlos' street, eyes scanning for the right number. When Kendall spots it, he looks at the house and bites his lip, knowing that he's sitting in front of Carlos' house and that he's about to meet his parents.

 _I'm not ready for this_ , Kendall thinks as he parks in the driveway and shuts the engine off, staring at the house in front of him with apprehension. After a moment, Kendall gets out and shuts the door behind him, slipping his keys and phone into his pockets as he approaches the front porch, taking the steps carefully. He swallows hard and smooths a hand down the front of his tank top, contemplating buttoning his shirt up as he lifts a hand, pressing the doorbell, listening to it chime throughout the house.

Carlos answers the door wearing a gray shirt with a black vest and a pair of jeans; he smiles at Kendall when they lock eyes. "Hey, you made it," he says and steps away, motioning for Kendall to come in, shutting the door once he's inside. "Sorry about making you come to my house instead... I'm not really ready to go anywhere and I wanted to see you, so.." Carlos chuckles and steers Kendall toward the living room, where he hears a little girl laughing.

 _Please tell me he's not a father_ , Kendall prays and he smiles nervously, letting Carlos pull him into the family room. The little girl stops laughing when Carlos clears his throat and she looks up at them with a smile on her face and that calms Kendall down a little.

"Kendall, this is my little sister, Alex," Carlos motions from Kendall to Alex, smiling. "Alex, this is my boyfriend, Kendall."

 _Boyfriend. He said boyfriend. Oh god, oh god. Calm down, Kendall. Calm. down_. Kendall tries his best to calm down but his heart is going a mile a minute, pounding harder in his chest and he thinks he can hear his heart beat in his ears. In an effort to calm himself, Kendall smiles and gives Carlos' sister a little wave, slipping a hand into one of his front pockets. "It's nice to meet you, Alex."

"You're Carlos' boyfriend?" Alex asks, giggling quietly. "You're cute!"

"Ah, well," Kendall starts, blushing furiously. "Thank you. You're pretty dam.. I mean,  _darn_  cute yourself."

Carlos laughs and nudges Kendall toward the kitchen. "Now you get to meet my parents," he mutters, moving his hands to either of Kendall's hips, the touch relaxing his entire body. "They're going to love you, don't worry."

"I'm not worried," Kendall lies as they move into the kitchen where a man and a woman are sitting at a table, each of them reading a book. When they hear Kendall and Carlos come in, their heads turn and both of them smile, the man's smile a little weaker than the woman's.

"These are my parents," Carlos says as he pulls Kendall closer, wrapping an arm around his waist, gesturing to his parents with the other hand. "My mother Slyvia and my father Miguel," he says, pointing at each one of them, and Kendall swallows hard, nodding.

"You can call me Papi," Carlos' dad says, laughing at the expression on Kendall's face. "That's not an encouragement for you two to get married, son. It's what all of his friends call me," he explains, putting Kendall at ease.

"It's nice to meet both of you," Kendall says, moving his hand out of his pocket, rubbing his palm against his jeans. "And Alex, she's adorable."

Sylvia laughs and stands, moving toward Kendall before wrapping both arms around him. "And it's so nice to meet you, Kendall. Carlos hasn't been able to stop talking about you for a few days now," she says when she pulls away, putting both hands on Kendall's cheeks. "You are the cutest."

"He really is," Carlos agrees, making Kendall blush harder than before. "But I don't talk about you all the time, don't worry."

"Again," Kendall starts, chuckling nervously, "I'm not worried. Not really," he says, smiling at Carlos' mom.

Miguel stands and moves around, getting closer to Kendall. "Good, nothing to be worried about," he says, smiling brightly. "So, you and my son are dating?"

Swallowing at the lump in his throat, Kendall nods. "Yes sir," he answers, chewing the corner of his lip.

"Good, it's about time Carlos found someone worth his while."

"Amen," Sylvia says, dropping her hands away from Kendall's face. "Are you hungry, Kendall?"

Kendall shakes his head. "Thank you, but I'm not really hungry at the moment."

"Some other time, then." Miguel pats Kendall's shoulder and gives him a wink before sitting back down. "You'll have to come over one night and eat dinner with us so we can get to know you better."

"Dad," Carlos warns, moving up beside Kendall. "Sorry about him," he whispers, leaning up to kiss Kendall's cheek; feeling Carlos' lips against his skin makes Kendall smile and he shrugs. "Well, we're going to get going now. I'm staying at Gustavo's tonight, remember?"

Sylvia nods and shoos Carlos and Kendall away. "Go have fun, don't do anything stupid."

"Or I'll throw you in jail, Litos," Miguel adds, calling after Carlos and Kendall after they've left the kitchen.

"Would he really?" Kendall asks, furrowing his brows.

Laughing, Carlos shakes his head and stops at the door. "No, he won't. It's just an empty threat," he explains, before grabbing his phone and keys from a jacket near the door. "You cool with taking your car?"

Kendall nods and waves at Carlos' little sister when she pokes her head out. "Of course. Besides, I think I'm parked behind you," he says, smiling when Carlos laughs.

"Are you two gonna make out?" Alex asks, holding a hand over her mouth to cover her giggles.

"Not with you watching," Carlos answers, turning to make a face at her. "Go see what Papi is up to, Alex."

Without another word, Alex runs off toward the kitchen and Kendall shakes his head. Carlos smiles at him and opens the door, leading him out onto the porch before leaning him against the wall beside the door. He stands on his tip-toes and kisses Kendall softly, smiling against his lips.

"Come on," he says when he eases away, taking Kendall's hand in his own.

They walk to the car and Kendall fishes the keys out of his pocket, hooking his finger around the key ring as he holds them out to Carlos. The other boy stares at him and blinks, a slow grin creeping over his face when he realizes what Kendall is offering. "You're serious?" he asks, reaching out to take the keys.

"Serious.. just be careful, okay?"

"You think I'm not careful?" Carlos smirks and kisses Kendall again before getting into the driver's seat; he immediately starts the engine and waits for Kendall to get in before backing out of the driveway. "So, why are you letting me drive?"

Kendall shrugs and settles back against the seat. "Cause you know where this party-thing is and I don't."

"That's the only reason, huh?"

"And I'm hoping you'll give me a blowjob in return," Kendall teases, winking at Carlos when he turns to look at him.

They drive in silence for a few minutes and Kendall is surprised at how well Carlos can drive, though he was never worried about the other boy's driving skills to begin with; he knows that Carlos works on cars all day long and he knows how to drive them. Instead of worrying, Kendall leans against the seat and closes his eyes, listening to the purr of the engine.

"Hey Carlos?" Kendall asks; Carlos hums and he turns his head, blinking his eyes open to look at the other boy. "You called me your boyfriend earlier," he points out, forming the sentence like it's a question, but they both know it's not.

Carlos nods and smiles. "Is that a problem?"

Biting his lip, Kendall thinks about it and shakes his head. "No, but it's not the truth, is it? We're just casually dating each other."

"Then, let's make it official." When Carlos stops at a stop sign, he puts the car in park and turns to Kendall, smiling brightly. "Kendall Knight, will you be my boyfriend?"

That one question knocks the breath out of Kendall and he swallows thickly, struggling to find his voice. When he opens his mouth, a tiny squeak comes out and Carlos laughs at it, biting his lip as he waits for an answer. "Yes," Kendall finally manages to squeak out. "I would love to be your boyfriend."

With a bigger smile, Carlos leans over and kisses Kendall's lips three times, laughing quietly. "Wonderful," he whispers when he pulls away and puts the car in drive, looking up and down the intersection before going straight.

Kendall's heartbeat quickens and he licks his lips, moving a trembling hand to Carlos' thigh, rubbing it lightly. He turns the word  _boyfriend_  over in his mind and smiles at the thought of Carlos being his and him being Carlos', at least until the end of summer. Again, Kendall thinks about what this all means and what will happen when he goes off to college, swallowing thickly as the lump in his throat swells and he pushes those thoughts away, deciding that they'll deal with it when the time comes.

"Your family is nice," Kendall says after a while, closing his eyes as he continues to rub Carlos' thigh idly.

"They are," Carlos mutters, moving a hand off the wheel, slipping it on top of Kendall's. "They were excited to meet you, especially Alex."

Humming, Kendall glides his thumb over Carlos' slowly. "How old is she?"

"Twelve."

"Wow, that's a big age gap."

Carlos laughs and gives Kendall's hand a squeeze. "My parents had me when they were younger, so they waited a while to have another baby. I think it all worked out well, you know. I was old enough to take care of Alex when she was a baby and my parents needed help."

"How sweet of you," Kendall teases, sticking his tongue out when Carlos turns to glare at him. "I wish I had a sibling," he admits, voice small and quiet.

"They're great sometimes," Carlos starts as he turns onto another road, giving Kendall's hand another light squeeze, "but some of the time they're annoying little shits and you wanna send 'em to the orphanage or something."

Kendall bursts out laughing and he covers his face with his free hand. "I'm so-s-sorry, that's just...  _mean_ , but hilarious."

"You spend time with a nosy twelve year old and you'll understand." Carlos' tone is light and playful as he speaks and he makes one last turn before parking in the yard of a big mansion. Kendall's eyes go wide when he sees it and he whistles, reluctantly letting go of Carlos' hand when they get out. "What?" Carlos asks when he walks around, taking Kendall's hand again.

"This is a  _big_  house!" Kendall exclaims, lacing his fingers with Carlos', listening to him laugh.

"Yeah, it's Gustavo's parents' place. They left it to him when they died."

Kendall chews on his lip and nods, letting Carlos pull him toward the front door, squeezing his hand nervously, listening to the noise just beyond the door, his nerves and anxiety shooting through the roof. When he feels Carlos' thumb move along his own, Kendall focuses on that and listens to the doorbell ring when Carlos pushes it, leaning against him a little while they wait for Gustavo to answer.

* * *

_***** I saw somewhere that his name is Kendall Donald Knight and I hate the name Donald, so I changed it to something better. *****_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: light ice and nipple play, homophobic slurs (just the use of the word fag/faggot; I know they're bad words, but it went with the story, and I apologize if it offends anyone), fighting.]

Gustavo answers the door and grins at Carlos and Kendall before motioning them inside. "It's good to see you two! Kendall, how are you?"

"I'm great, thanks," Kendall replies, smiling at Gustavo as Carlos pulls him inside. The smell of alcohol and weed hits him once they're inside the house and Kendall coughs, waving a hand in front of his face, listening to Carlos laugh. "What's funny?" He asks, pouting slightly.

"Nothing," Carlos answers, giving Kendall's hand a squeeze. "I'm going to see who's here, then I'll come back to get you, okay?" Kendall nods and chews his lip; Carlos laughs again and leans up to kiss him, whispering against his lips, "Don't look so nervous. Everyone here is cool and if you want to, I'm sure Gustavo won't mind you hanging out with him until I come back."

"Don't mind at  _all_ ," Gustavo chimes in.

Kendall smiles and nods, willing himself to relax. "Okay, I'll be here when you come back."

"Good." With a smile, Carlos drops his hand away from Kendall's and turns, walking backwards down the hall. "Don't let my boy get hurt now," he says, pointing at Gustavo before winking at Kendall, giving him his famous lopsided grin.

Gustavo rolls his eyes and laughs. "I won't let Kendall get hurt. What kind of friend would I be if I did?"

"A dead one." Carlos grins again and turns around, heading toward the kitchen. When he disappears, Kendall feels anxious again and he turns to look at Gustavo, chewing on his lower lip nervously. The older man just gives him a reassuring smile and throws an arm around his shoulders, pulling him toward the living room.

"So, you and Carlos," Gustavo starts, steering Kendall toward an unoccupied couch.

Kendall's heart pounds and he nods, sitting down when Gustavo drops his arm. "Yeah, we're dating," he says, blushing slightly when Gustavo grins.

"It's about time. It's been too long since Carlos has had a  _decent_  guy." Shrugging, Gustavo sits next to Kendall and leans against the back of the couch. "And you're going to be good for him, I can tell; you don't give off that asshole vibe like everyone else did."

"Oh," Kendall mutters, giving a nervous chuckle. "I'm not really an asshole, but I hope I can be good for him... and I think he'll be the same for me."

Gustavo nods and watches people walk past, passing a pipe back and forth. "He tells me you're a musician."

"Yes sir -"

"Don't call me sir," Gustavo interrupts, laughing. "It makes me feel old, and I'm not... you know,  _old_."

Chewing on his lip, Kendall nods and laughs. "I'm sorry," he says, folding his hands on his lap, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"No worries. So, what do you play?"

"Guitar, piano, and drums."

"Have you ever performed in front of people?"

Kendall nods and lifts a hand, scratching his neck lightly. "I've been in a few concerts, mostly at school, but nothing too big. Why do you ask?"

"Well," Gustavo starts, tipping his head back, "I was wondering if you would play a few songs later on tonight? When more people get here, of course. You don't have to, I was just wondering."

The offer makes Kendall blush even more and he tugs his collar away from his neck, running his fingers down the length of his shirt, playing with the buttons as he thinks about it. Part of him wants to say yes and the other part wants to decline only because he doesn't want to fuck up in front of Carlos and his friends; the thought of messing something up and having Carlos' friends judge him makes his insides churn.

"Maybe," he hears himself saying. "Actually, you know what? Of course I'll do it."

"Great! Carlos hasn't said whether you're any good or not, but I bet you are."

Gustavo laughs and Kendall joins him, allowing himself to calm down as he looks around the living room, noticing a cluster of people sitting across from them with a bright green bong. One girl takes a hit while a boy lights the bowl and the smell of weed fills the air; despite himself, Kendall takes a deep breath when the scent fills his nostrils and turns back to Gustavo. "This is a nice place," he points out, grinning a little.

"Thanks. It was my parents' place - I'm sure Carlos told you that - and I got it when they died." Gustavo shrugs and sits up, putting his hands on his knees. "Does the smoke bother you? I can tell them to get out if it does," he says, gaze wandering to the group smoking on the other couch.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just kind of nervous, that's all," Kendall explains, rubbing his palms over his thighs.

Nodding, Gustavo nudges Kendall with his shoulder. "You want a beer?"

"Do you have anything harder?"

"Whiskey, rum, bourbon, vodka - you name it, I've got it."

Kendall laughs and licks his lips. "Whiskey on the rocks?"

"Coming right up." Gustavo winks and stands, moving toward the foyer. "Stay there, I'll be right back."

"Okay." Kendall watches Gustavo walk away and leans back against the couch, watching the people move around the room. The temperature starts to rise steadily and Kendall takes his dress shirt off, laying it on the couch beside him as he waits for Carlos or Gustavo to come back, humming to the music playing from upstairs; he wonders just how big Gustavo's house is and makes a mental note to ask Carlos for a tour.

After waiting for a few minutes, Kendall closes his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest; a moment later, he feels the couch dip beside him and he expects to see Gustavo when he opens his eyes, but grins when he spots Carlos sitting next to him. The other boy grins back and moves a hand over the front of his stomach, playing with the fabric of his tank top. "Where's Gustavo"?

"Went to get something to drink," Kendall answers, moving his hand to Carlos'. "Is your business done?" He asks, smirking when Carlos rolls his eyes.

"Yes, it's done for now," he mutters, leaning in to kiss Kendall softly, the hand on his stomach slipping into his hand, their fingers lacing together. Kendall makes a noise against Carlos' mouth and closes his eyes again, moving his free hand to splay against the side of his neck, kissing him deeply. He just barely gets his lips parted before someone clears their throat and Carlos pulls away, licking his lips as he looks over his shoulder, glaring at Gustavo.

Gustavo grins and holds a tumbler of whiskey out to Kendall. "I figured you'd want this now. Sorry it took so long, I got caught in a conversation with a guest."

"That's alright." Kendall laughs and grabs the glass, taking a long sip. "Thank you."

"Uh-huh," Gustavo says, still grinning. "You two better not have sex on my couch, or else I'll have to charge you to have my couch cleaned."

Rolling his eyes, Carlos drops his head and rests it against Kendall's shoulder. "You're going to get it cleaned anyway after tonight," he mutters.

"Well, don't get any bodily fluids on it." Nodding toward Kendall, Gustavo's grin melts into a smile. "I'll let you know when we're ready for you to play," he says before turning on his heels and walking out of the living room, bumping into a few people as he makes his way into the foyer. Kendall rolls his eyes and takes another sip of whiskey, sucking an ice cube into his mouth as he sets the glass on an end table beside the couch.

"You're going to play?" Carlos asks, turning his head to brush his nose against Kendall's jaw; Kendall just nods and takes the ice cube out of his mouth before dragging it down the side of Carlos' neck. The other boy jumps and Kendall starts to giggle, trailing the ice up his neck and over his jaw. "Christ, that's cold!"

Giggling more, Kendall nods and slides the ice back over Carlos' neck. "That's why they call it ice," he mumbles, grinning when Carlos bites his jaw lightly.

"Why are you rubbing ice all over me?"

"Cause it's hot in here," Kendall answers, watching droplets of water slide down the curve of Carlos' neck. "And I wanted to see how you'd react," he adds, moving the ice cube to the back of Carlos' neck, dragging it up the nape and then over to his ear.

A growl rumbles in Carlos' chest and he buries his face against Kendall's neck, mumbling, "This is playing dirty."

"Were we playing fair?"

"Yes," Carlos mutters, whimpering against Kendall's neck when the ice slides over his earlobe. "You really want me to fuck you at this party?"

Kendall bites his lip; he hadn't thought about that possibility but hearing Carlos suggest such a thing makes him want it. "Maybe," he answers finally, letting go of his lip as he runs the ice cube along the collar of Carlos' shirt.

"Well, we'd have to go upstairs." Pulling away, Carlos smiles and licks his lips, moving his free hand up Kendall's arm slowly.

"Mm," Kendall hums, moving the ice over the front of Carlos' throat, dragging it over his Adam's apple. "We can wait until later. I assume that if  _you're_  staying the night here, that I am too."

Carlos grins and nods, shivering a little from the ice. "That was the plan, yes. Gustavo's got a dozen guest rooms and we can stay as long as we want."

"Sounds good to me." Pulling the cube away, Kendall tosses it onto the carpet and Carlos laughs, shaking his head as he goes in for a kiss.

Breathing deeply through his nose, Kendall wraps both arms around Carlos' neck and pulls him close, kissing him slowly. He moves a hand to Carlos' hair and gives it a sharp tug, moaning when Carlos bites his lip in response, the noise getting muffled when their lips slot together again. The kiss is slow moving and passionate, like always, and Kendall moves his hands down the curve of Carlos' back, slipping them around to grip his hips tightly, parting his lips in a silent invitation.

Carlos takes Kendall's invitation and licks into his mouth slowly, lifting a hand to cup his jaw lightly, thumb brushing over his cheek as their tongues press against one another roughly. A noise leaves Kendall's throat and he tilts his head to the side, opening his mouth wider as he wraps his tongue around Carlos', sucking on it lightly before releasing it, feeling Carlos' fingers tighten around his jaw comfortably.

Everyone around them is forgotten as Carlos and Kendall disappear into their own little world, wrapping themselves up in one another, hands going everywhere and muffled noises filling the air around them. Carlos doesn't think about the people in the room when he slides onto Kendall's lap and pushes his shirt up his stomach as he deepens the kiss, their tongues fighting for dominance.

He can feel the vibration of a whimper against his lips and he pushes down against Kendall, rolling his hips down as he splays a hand on the other boy's chest, the pad of his thumb brushing across a nipple. The combination of Carlos' hips moving against his and the feel of his thumb against his nipple makes Kendall groan and he fists his hand in Carlos' hair, holding him in place as they kiss, tongues working together roughly.

Eventually, Carlos is pulled to reality and he eases away from Kendall's mouth, panting against his lips for a second before he pulls away fully, swallowing hard. He blinks his eyes open and grins down at Kendall, rubbing his chest lightly as he listens to his boyfriend's harsh breath.

"You okay?" He asks, moving both hands up Kendall's tank top, rubbing his chest in slow circles.

For a second, Kendall can't think; it's like his thoughts are muddled and he shakes his head, clearing his mind. "I'm... great," he admits, huffing out a short laugh. "Are you alright?"

"I'm perfect," Carlos answers, leaning down to kiss Kendall's lips softly.

"I know you are," Kendall mumbles against Carlos' lips, smiling. "You think anyone noticed us?"

Sitting up, Carlos looks around the room and shrugs his shoulders, turning back to Kendall. "I dunno, don't really care either way."

Kendall laughs again and nods, moving his hands over Carlos' shoulders before gliding them down his arms slowly, feeling him shudder underneath the touch. His lips curve into a smile and he takes a deep breath, locking eyes with Carlos, letting himself get lost in the dark brown irises. For the second time that evening, the world moves around them and Kendall ignores it, paying attention to Carlos and Carlos only, letting himself take in the beauty in front of him.

A random girl walks by and giggles, getting close enough to whisper, "I think you two are really  _hot_  together."

The three of them laugh together and Carlos nods. "I think we are too," he agrees, never taking his eyes off Kendall.

"Me too," Kendall says, smiling brightly. "Thank you," he says to the girl, who giggles and moves away, leaving them alone again.

After a moment of silence between them, Kendall asks, "Do you know who all is coming?"

"Logan, some of our old friends, some of Gustavo's friends, and I heard the name Griffin thrown around. I guess he - or she - is some popular rich bitch that's stopping by to get weed off of my friend, Guitar Dude."

Kendall ignores the mention of Griffin and asks, "Guitar Dude? Please tell me that's not his real name," he says, laughing softly.

"No, no. We call him that 'cause, for a while, you wouldn't see him without a guitar. I mean, he would take it everywhere and play on street corners just for the hell of it," Carlos explains, moving his hands out of Kendall's tank top.

"And Griffin? Do you know if that's a guy or a girl?" Kendall thinks about how many Griffins he knows and he swallows thickly, realizing that he has a good chance of running into Mercedes at the party.

Carlos shrugs. "I dunno, I didn't pay attention. Just heard the name Griffin and assumed that it was a dude, you know?  _Griffin_  sounds like a guy's name."

"Could be a last name," Kendall points out, moving his hands to Carlos' hips. "I just asked, cause my ex's girlfriend's last name is Griffin.."

"Oh," Carlos says, chewing on his lip. "You want me to find out for you? I can ask Gustavo, or text Guitar Dude."

Shaking his head, Kendall sighs and plays with the hem of Carlos' vest. "Nah. If she comes, she comes. I can deal with being in the same room as her for a while."

"And if you can't, you can always go upstairs with me." Grinning, Carlos leans over and grabs Kendall's drink, taking a sip of it.

"Hey, that's mine."

"Oops," Carlos says after he swallows, licking his lips slowly. "I thought you would share with me."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head again. "I'll share with you any day."

Just then, the door opens and a crowd of people swarm into the house, going every way; some of them go toward the kitchen, others go upstairs, and a small group finds their way into the living room. Among the people that file into the living room, Kendall spots Logan and he smiles immediately, pointing in the direction and nodding pointedly, watching Carlos turn his head.

"Logan!" Carlos calls out, waving his best friend over with the hand holding the glass. "I was wondering when you were going to get here."

Logan comes over and smiles at both of them, hands in his pockets. "Kendall, it's nice to see you again," he says, nodding his head toward Kendall.

"Same. You look good in normal clothes," Kendall teases, grabbing his glass from Carlos' hand, ignoring his whine.

"And I told you when I'd be here, Litos." Rolling his eyes, Logan smacks the back of Carlos' head lightly. "Or did you forget?"

"Well," Carlos starts, elbowing Logan in the ribs, "I've had my attention on other things,  _Logie_."

The other boy nods and looks at Carlos and Kendall, smirking. "I see that. Where's Gustavo?"

"He went that way," Kendall says before Carlos can get a word out, pointing toward the kitchen.

"Thanks, Kendall." Logan smiles and winks at Carlos and Kendall. "See you two in a while. Don't get anything on that couch."

When Logan turns around and walks away, Carlos sighs, calling out after his friend, "Why does everyone tell me that!"

"You know why!" Logan shots, lifting a hand over his head, pointing a finger at Carlos before disappearing.

While this is going on, Kendall sits quietly and finishes his whiskey, setting the glass back into the table, looking at Carlos with a curious expression. He laughs when Carlos turns around and raises an eyebrow, splaying his hands helplessly almost as if to say ' _What?'_

"Nothing," Kendall says, before leaning up to kiss Carlos' chin lightly. "I love the way you and Logan interact," he mutters against Carlos' skin before pulling back.

Carlos smiles and sighs contentedly. "He's my best friend, and my brother from another mother."

"Well, it definitely shows." Smiling, Kendall settles back against the couch again, listening to the door open for a second time. He turns his head and looks toward the small crowd of people coming in, his breath catching in his throat when he sees Mercedes walk into the house. For a second, Kendall's thankful when he doesn't see James, but his heart drops into his stomach when he sees him trail in behind his girlfriend, hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched like he doesn't want to be there.

"What is it?" Carlos asks, moving his hand to Kendall's arm, rubbing it lightly.

Forcing himself to look away, Kendall swallows. "The Griffin that you said was coming?"

"Uh-huh.."

"It's my ex's girlfriend... and he's here with her, of course." With a heavy sigh, Kendall moves his hands away from Carlos and presses them against his face, groaning loudly against his palms. He sits like that for a moment until he feels Carlos' hands on his, gently prying them away from his face; he doesn't fight Carlos, just lets him pull his hands away and settle them on his lap.

"We can leave if you want," Carlos says quietly as he plays with Kendall's hands, cupping them between his own.

Kendall shakes his head and sighs. "It'll be fine, as long as they don't see me," he mutters, looking at Carlos and focusing on the way his fingers feel against his own, sighing again at the feel.

Everything is silent for a while and Kendall calms down enough to look around the room, noticing Mercedes leaning against the wall, her back to them. He's thankful that she's not looking their way and he turns back to Carlos, smiling at him as he laces their fingers together, brushing his thumb against Carlos' slowly.

"You okay?" Carlos asks, and Kendall nods; he goes to answer when he hears someone gasp loudly in the corner. They both turn to and Kendall goes red when he sees Mercedes standing a few feet away, a hand covering her mouth. For a moment, he wants to push Carlos off his lap and run out of the house, but he stays still, focusing on the way Carlos' skin feels under his own.

"It's  _Kendra_  Knight!" Mercedes squeals, and James appears behind her, looking at Kendall for a moment, before looking at Carlos. When James sees Carlos, his expression goes hard and he narrows his eyes, flicking his gaze back to Kendall. "Who let you in here?"

Carlos plasters a polite smile on his face and licks his lips. "I did. You got a problem with that?"

When she hears Carlos speak, Mercedes turns and glares at him. "Yeah, I do. If I would have known this piece of trash was going to be here, I wouldn't have agreed to come," she says, motioning at Kendall before clamping her hands on her hips.

"Well, you see," Carlos starts, dropping one of Kendall's hands to motion around the living room, "this is my friend's house. Someone I've known since I was thirteen and who I call my second father. So, he invited me here and said I could bring a friend, which happens to be Kendall."

"Why are you friends with this fag?" Mercedes snorts, before crossing her arms over her chest; from the way she's acting, Kendall would guess that she's already fucked up and he laughs, which catches her attention. "What are you laughing at, Kendra?"

Mustering all of his strength, Kendall shrugs. "Laughing at you, you shallow bitch."

"Don't call my girlfriend a shallow bitch!" James moves around Mercedes and clenches his fists at his sides, looking at the way Kendall and Carlos are sitting, his eyes going dark; Kendall would guess that it's jealous he saw in James' eyes. "Is this your boyfriend, Knight?"

"Yeah," Kendall says, placing his free hand on Carlos' side. "You jealous of that, James? Jealous that I've got someone gorgeous and smart and much better at fucking than you?" The crowd gasps and Kendall laughs, turning to look at the way Mercedes gapes at him. "Sorry sweetheart, your boyfriend is a fag just like me."

Something snaps inside James and he lunges forward toward Kendall, but Carlos is up the second he makes his move, hands wrapped around James' collar, shoving him back. The height difference between them is staggering and Kendall worries that Carlos may get hurt, until he sees him slam James against the wall, causing a mirror to fall and shatter on the ground.

A few people around start chanting 'fight' at the top of their lungs and Kendall jumps to his feet, moving toward Carlos and James; he feels a hand on his chest and he stops, staring at Mercedes. "What the fuck do you want?" he snaps, pushing her hand away.

"My boyfriend's not a fag," she says, her voice tight. "Just because you have a crush on him doesn't mean you can accuse him of liking dick."

"Aw, sweetheart," Kendall says, his eyes on Carlos and James. "He likes dick about as much as you do, if not more. Doesn't like to touch anyone else's and he definitely doesn't like taking it up the ass, but he likes fucking me. Well, he  _liked_  fucking me."

He pushes Mercedes out of the way and moves toward the fight in the corner, listening to Carlos talk to James.

"So, you're the guy that treated him like shit?" Carlos asks, putting a hand on James' throat.

"I.. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Carlos, come on.." Kendall pleads, touching his boyfriend's shoulder.

The hands around James' collar and throat drop and Carlos backs away, letting Kendall wrap both arms around him. "I want both of you out," he says in a harsh voice, clenching his jaw as he turns to look at Mercedes, who's staring at him like he spoke a language she doesn't understand. "Are you deaf or just stupid from all the bleach in your hair? Get out."

"You going to let your boyfriend talk to me like that, Knight?" James asks as he straightens his clothes, glaring at Kendall.

"Yeah, I think I am."

"Burn in hell, faggots," James mutters and Carlos lunges forward, punching James in the jaw. He sends the other boy reeling back and he shakes his hand, muttering under his breath about James having a hard jaw.

When James falls to the ground, Gustavo comes in and stares at the mess. "What happened?"

Carlos opens his mouth to answer, but Kendall touches his arm. "These two picked a fight with me and Carlos was defending my honor against this douchebag," he says, motioning to James, who's slumped against the wall, holding a hand to his mouth. Blood seeps out from between his lips and he looks at Kendall softly, his expression pleading.

"Well, Kendra -" Mercedes starts, but Gustavo shakes his head.

"His name is  _Kendall_ , and if you disrespect him in my home one more time, I'll have you escorted off the premises by my buddy Freight Train," Gustavo motions to a big guy in the corner, who cracks his knuckles and then crosses his arms over his chest. "Now, do you wanna do this the easy way or the hard way?"

Mercedes looks over at James and bites her lip, showing defeat for a second before snapping her head back and thrusting her chest out. She moves to the door and leaves, slamming int behind her; the moment she's gone, everyone starts whispering and a few people cheer. Gustavo moves over to James and looks down at him, nudging the boy's knee with the toe of his boot. "Now which do  _you_  want?"

"Easy way," James rasps as he gets to his feet, wiping blood on his jeans as he walks by, glancing at Kendall. He looks like he's going to say something but Kendall just turns away, refusing to accept his existence for once.  _Let him feel the way I did_ , Kendall thinks as he goes to Carlos and holds his hand, looking at the swelling of his knuckles.

"Thank you," he mutters, bringing Carlos' hand up to kiss each knuckle.

Carlos shrugs and smiles. "No one talks about my boyfriend like that and gets away without a scratch."

"Come on, let's get some ice on that hand." Kendall takes Carlos' good hand and starts pulling him toward the kitchen until Gustavo stops them. "Go on, I'll be there in a minute." Carlos nods and reluctantly leaves Kendall alone with Gustavo, who's scratching the top of his head. "I'm so sorry about that, Gustavo. I'll pay for all the damage, I promise."

"Why are you sorry?" Gustavo laughs and shakes his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Kendall. Those guys were assholes and I don't want them in my house. I doubt Guitar Dude will wanna sell to that stuck up bitch anymore when he hears about this."

Kendall bites his lip and nods, sighing. "Still, lemme pay for the damage."

"Nah, don't worry about it. If it's too bad, I'll just dock Carlos' pay." When Kendall goes pale, Gustavo blinks at him. "Dude, I was kidding! It's just a mirror and some shit on the walls, it's nothing major. It's not like I didn't need to redecorate anyway."

"Oh, alright. Good." Kendall nods again and sighs. "I really am sorry, though. This wouldn't have happened if I had stayed home."

Gustavo sighs and shrugs. "Shit happens. I'd rather have you here than those pieces of shit. Know why?" Kendall shakes his head and chews the inside of his cheek. "Because you make Carlos happy, and I know he loves having you here. We all do, cause we're getting to know you and you're starting to be a part of the family."

 _Part of the family_ , Kendall repeats mentally, smiling at the sentiment.

"Now, go patch Carlos up and meet me outside after, okay? We're almost ready for you to go on stage."

Kendall nods and moves around Gustavo, heading toward the kitchen. On the way there, people pat him on the shoulder and he blushes whenever someone does it, nodding and mumbling that it wasn't him who punched James - it was Carlos. When he gets into the kitchen, Kendall finds Carlos sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, a bag of frozen peas laying over his hand and a bottle of beer in the other.

"Hey," Kendall says as he comes closer, leaning his chin against Carlos' shoulder. "Is that helping?"

"The peas or the beer?"

Kendall laughs and shakes his head. "Both," he answers, moving his arms around Carlos' waist.

"Yes and..." Carlos takes a long sip from his beer and sets the bottle back onto the counter as he continues, "yes."

"Good." Breathing softly, Kendall turns to kiss Carlos' cheek. "I go on in a bit. You gonna come outside and watch me?"

Carlos snorts and turns to look at Kendall, raising a brow. "Are you kidding me? Of course, you couldn't keep me from going out there."

Giggling, Kendall nods and kisses Carlos' lips softly. "Good... and thank you, again. I've never had anyone defend me like that," he mutters, laying his chin on Carlos' shoulder again, swaying with him a little.

"Well, the son of a bitch deserved it. I can't believe  _that's_  your ex," Carlos grumbles, muttering a word under his breath in Spanish. "And you're welcome, by the way. It was nice to punch someone in the face and defend another person's honor." He laughs and moves his hand, feeling the bag of peas shift.

"You're very sweet," Kendall whispers, smiling brightly. "And you will be handsomely rewarded when everyone leaves and we go up to our room."

Carlos hums and closes his eyes. "I like the sound of that," he says, laughing when Kendall bites his ear. "Go get ready to play, and I'll be out there when you're ready, alright?"

Kendall nods and reluctantly moves away from Carlos, moving a hand through his hair slowly. "See you in a bit," he says softly before turning to head out the back door, heading across the yard to a big makeshift stage near the pool. On his way to the stage, Kendall stoops and grabs a beer from a cooler, twisting the top off before taking a sip, stopping just beside Gustavo.

"Kendall!" Gustavo says with a big smile. "This is Guitar Dude. Guitar Dude, this is Carlos' boyfriend, Kendall."

The guy Gustavo introduces him puts a hand out and Kendall looks at him, noticing the small dreadlocks in his brown hair. He takes his hand and shakes it, smiling when they ease apart, taking a sip of his beer quickly. "Nice to meet you," he says, once he swallows.

"Nice to meet you too," Guitar Dude says, smiling at Kendall. "You wanna play guitar or drums tonight?"

"I was thinking I'd play guitar and sing? If that's alright."

Gustavo guffaws and claps his hands together. "He's a singer, too! Could you be any more perfect for Carlos?"

Blushing, Kendall looks down at his beer and then takes a longer sip, listening to people talk and laugh a few feet away, his eyes going to the stage and the instruments strewn about. There's an electric guitar, an acoustic one, a bass, a drum set, a keyboard, and a microphone; Kendall wonders how many people play at Gustavo's house and his heart hammers when he realizes that he'll be one of them.

"So, you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm ready." Kendall smiles and downs his beer before hopping up onto the stage, setting the empty bottle beside the mic stand. People start coming toward the stage and Kendall watches them, noticing a few familiar faces in a sea of strangers. He swallows hard and grabs the electric guitar before slipping the strap over his shoulder, holding the neck as he adjusts it. Once it's adjusted, he starts to check the tuning and adjusts that until he feels comfortable with the tune.

Several people come onto the stage and Kendall is shocked to see Logan take a seat behind the drums, winking. He grabs the sticks and knocks them together while the other members of their misfit band join them. Once everyone's on stage, Kendall takes place at the microphone and looks out, seeing Carlos standing near the front of the stage; seeing Carlos puts Kendall at ease and he sighs, wrapping a hand around the mic.

"My name is Kendall," he starts off, getting a chorus of 'yeah, Kendall!' from the crowd. Chuckling, he pushes his hair out of his bangs and turns to Guitar Dude when he taps his shoulder, taking a pick from him. "This is my first time playing for a crowd like this, and I hope you enjoy it!"

The crowd screams and cheers, clapping as Kendall turns to talk to the rest of the 'band.' "I'll start off with a few riffs and if you don't know if, tell me. If you do, just jump in at any time, alright?" They all nod and Kendall goes back to the mic, turning his amp on before strumming a few chords of  _"Original Prankster"_  by The Offspring.

It takes the band a moment to catch on but when they do, they jump in and Kendall starts singing as he strums the guitar, watching the crowd move to the beat, some of them singing with him. In between lyrics, Kendall laughs and looks at Carlos, smiling at him before he goes back to singing, looking down at his guitar every few minutes until they finish the song.

Everyone screams and goes crazy when they finish and Kendall grins proudly, moving a hand through his sweat-slicked hair, trying to think of what to play next. A moment later, Kendall trades guitars with Guitar Dude and starts playing the beginning of _"Interstate Love Song"_  by Stone Temple Pilots. The band joins in and Kendall starts to sing, glancing occasionally out into the crowd before his eyes find Carlos again, who's smiling and moving to the music.

An hour and a half later, Kendall puts down his guitar and jumps off the stage, immediately wrapping his arms around Carlos, his entire body buzzing with excitement and adrenaline. His hands hurt and his voice is raw, but Kendall is happy and he's forgotten all about the incident with James and Mercedes earlier.

"You were great!" Carlos says when they're away from the crowd, laughing as he pulls Kendall's body against his own. "And you looked fucking hot up there," he whispers against Kendall's ear, moving his good hand to his ass, grabbing it roughly.

Kendall laughs and kisses Carlos lazily as sweat pours down his neck and rolls off his hair. "Need to go inside where it's cool," he mumbles when they ease apart, wrapping an arm around Carlos as they move into the house. The temperature changes dramatically and Kendall sighs, letting go of Carlos as he goes to the fridge, opening it.

He grabs a bottle of champagne and they move toward the stairs, taking them quickly before going into the first room they come to. Carlos locks the door behind them and flips the light on, watching Kendall move toward the bed, shedding his clothes and tossing them to the floor. Soon, Kendall's laying on the bed with the bottle of champagne between his legs, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a smile.

Carlos moves toward the bed and takes his vest off, letting it drop to the floor, locking his eyes with Kendall as he takes the rest of his clothes off. Their clothing lays in a pile on the floor and Carlos gets onto the bed, kissing Kendall deeply before sitting next to him, holding his hand out for the champagne. When Kendall gives it to him, he opens it and they both laugh when the cork flies out and bubbles trickle down the neck, getting Carlos' fingers - and the bed - wet.

"Whoops," Carlos mumbles as he wipes his hands on the sheets, handing the bottle to Kendall. "Got some on the bed. Hope Gustavo doesn't mind."

"He won't." Taking the bottle, Kendall brings it to his lips and takes a long swig before pulling it away, wrinkling his nose. "Ugh, why'd I grab  _champagne_?"

Laughing, Carlos takes the bottle and takes a drink before setting it on the nightstand. "Because it was the first thing you saw?"

"Probably," Kendall answers, smiling. "I'm exhausted now," he says, yawning after the words are out.

"You wanna go to bed?"

Kendall shakes his head but lays down beside Carlos anyway, yawning. "It's too  _early_."

"And you just played an hour and a half set. We can go to bed if you want. I'm kind of tired too... punching James made me sleepy," Carlos says, keeping himself from laughing for a full thirty seconds before he giggles. Kendall swats his thigh halfheartedly and opens his arms, pouting up at Carlos.

Sighing, Carlos lays next to Kendall and wraps both arms around him, pulling his body close, the tips of their noses touching. Kendall lets out a giggle and Carlos shakes his head, kissing Kendall's lips quickly before moving away to get off the bed. "Where are you going?" Kendall asks, his voice sleepy.

"Gotta turn the light out, or I'll never get to sleep." Carlos flicks the light off and feels his way back toward the bed, climbing onto the mattress before wrapping his arms around Kendall again. "See? It's better," he says as he runs his hand down the middle of Kendall's back, feeling how sweaty his skin is.

Kendall hums and closes his eyes, getting as close to Carlos as he can get and yawning quietly. "Goodnight,  _Litos_ ," he mumbles, grinning.

"Hey, only my parents and Logan are allowed to call me that."

"But not your boyfriend?"

Carlos can hear the pout in Kendall's voice and he sighs. "Okay, you can call me Litos. Now, go to sleep."

They go silent and Carlos listens to Kendall's breathing as he moves a hand up and down his back slowly. A few minutes later, Kendall's out like a light and snoring against Carlos' neck, his breath falling hot against his skin. Shivering, Carlos lays his forehead against Kendall's and yawns quietly, letting himself doze off as he pulls his boyfriend closer. He drifts off to sleep soon after Kendall does and stays next to him the whole night, keeping the other boy wrapped up in his arms until the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: It's all smut! shower/bathtub sex, nipple play, biting, sex without a condom.]

Kendall wakes up in the morning to the faint taste of stale booze in his mouth and Carlos' back pressed against his chest, their legs tangled together in an awkward mess that Kendall's not even the least bit worried about. It takes his post-sleep mind an embarrassingly long time to realize where they are and, upon his realization, Kendall sighs and closes his eyes again, burying his face against Carlos' neck, breathing against his sticky skin.

Despite his best efforts, Kendall can't will himself to go back to sleep and he lays behind Carlos for a while, just listening to him breath and enjoying the way he shifts in his sleep, pushing his ass back just enough to wake Kendall up even more. He groans against Carlos' neck and bites it lightly, listening to the other boy whimper in his sleep as he lifts a hand, pushing at Kendall's shoulder lightly, grumbling unintelligibly.

"Carlos," Kendall starts, his voice soft and the words falling right against Carlos' ear. "You've gotta wake up," he continues, blowing air along the shell of his boyfriend's ear, laughing quietly when he stirs in his sleep, pushing Kendall's shoulder again. "Come on, Litos."

Breathing deeply, Carlos disentangles their legs and turns over, pressing his chest against Kendall's, mumbling sleepily.

"What was that?"

"I  _said_ ," Carlos says, yawning between words, "that I don't wanna get up. S'the weekend, don't have to work today."

Kendall laughs and kisses Carlos softly, running a hand along his back. "I know, but we're still at Gustavo's."

"I  _know_  that." Sighing, Carlos rolls over onto his back, feeling Kendall's hand move along his lower abdomen. "You know what time it is?"

"I don't," Kendall answers, leaning down to kiss Carlos' chest. "Want me to get up and get my phone?"

Carlos hums and nods his head, lightly scratching Kendall's scalp. "If you don't mind," he says, yawning quietly as he moves his hand away from Kendall's head, watching him get off the bed and move across the room on shaky legs; he manages not to laugh until Kendall bends down and then he bursts into giggles. "Are you hungover?" Carlos asks, watching Kendall straighten up and turn around.

"I don't think so," he says with a shrug, smiling as he walks back to the bed, laying his phone down. "I didn't have that much to drink, unless we got up sometime in the middle of the night and drank the rest of the champagne."

"Did we?"

Grabbing the bottle from the nightstand, Kendall shakes his head when he feels that it's full. "Nope," he says before taking a long sip, swishing the liquid around in his mouth before swallowing. "And it's nineteen minutes after ten."

"So it's still morning," Carlos points out, nodding his head as he motions for Kendall to lay down. "Come back here, not done with you yet."

"But shouldn't we take a shower? Or see if Gustavo needs help cleaning up?"

Carlos shakes his head and sits up, running his hands up Kendall's arms. "Gustavo's probably still passed out and why shower  _now_  when I plan on getting you dirty later?"

"Cause we can get dirty in the  _shower_ ," Kendall says, shivering when he feels Carlos' hands on his chest. "And I feel gross, from sweating as much as I did."

"I think it's sexy," Carlos mumbles as he runs his palms over Kendall's nipples.

Shivering again, Kendall closes his eyes and sucks in a deep breath. "Well, I think it's gross. Plus, shower sex should be fun, right?"

"You've  _never_  had shower sex?"

"No," Kendall admits, chewing on his lower lip as he looks down at Carlos. "So you can be my first."

Carlos smirks and pushes Kendall back a little. "I like the sound of that," he murmurs as he stands to his feet and leans up, kissing Kendall's lips softly.

Kendall blushes and kisses Carlos back before easing away, licking his lips slowly. He moves his hands down Carlos' biceps and traces the muscles carefully, dragging his fingers down over the other boy's elbows, biting at his lower lip softly. A smile creeps along Carlos' face and he gently guides Kendall back toward the bedroom door, moving a hand away from him to unlock the door before opening it.

They move out into the hall and Carlos expertly guides Kendall toward the bathroom, pushing him against the door before kissing him slowly, moving a hand around to play with the waistband of his boxers; he pulls the elastic away and lets it snap against Kendall's back before doing it again, this time slipping his hand down and over Kendall's ass. With his other hand, Carlos twists the doorknob and pulls his boyfriend flush against him as he opens the door, pulling away from the kiss to smile.

"Seems to be empty," Carlos says as he looks around Kendall, squeezing his ass roughly.

"C-c-carlos," Kendall moans out, stuttering Carlos' name lightly. "Not in the hallway," he whines, feeling Carlos' fingertips dig into his flesh, kneading his ass before his hand is gone and traveling up the middle of his back.

Chuckling, Carlos nods and gives Kendall a nudge. "Sorry. In the bathroom we go," he says, moving into the room with Kendall before shutting and locking the door behind them.

The bathroom is large and Kendall looks around while Carlos moves away to take his boxers off, kicking them off to the side before curling his fingers around the waistband of Kendall's. Once the fabric starts to move down his skin, Kendall turns back to watch Carlos, eyes locked on his fingers and his body shivering as the soft cotton of his boxers inches down his skin. When they're off, he kicks them away and moves a hand up Carlos' body slowly, mapping it out with his fingers before reluctantly dropping his hand, letting it hang easily at his side.

"Let me get the water started," Carlos says, smiling at Kendall as he walks past him. "Do you like hotter showers or colder ones?"

Kendall thinks about it for a moment and bites his lip. "Hotter, but not... not scalding," he answers, turning to watch Carlos bend over the bathtub, his skin glowing beautifully under the bathroom light. Tugging at the flesh of his lower lip, Kendall moves forward and splays his hands against Carlos' back, moving them up and down the curve of his spine before slipping them down toward his ass, smiling when his boyfriend groans.

The shower turns on and Carlos adjusts the hot and cold water, holding his hand out under the stream to test the temperature. When it's just right, he stands up and steps over the lip of the tub, holding a hand out to Kendall, smiling at him when their hands slide together. He watches Kendall get into the tub and shuts the curtain behind him, immediately running his hands up and down his stomach, fingertips moving across the deep v along his lower abdomen.

Water cascades down Kendall's shoulders and trickles down his chest, the droplets falling in the wake of Carlos' fingers as he touches Kendall lightly, almost as if he's experimenting with touches here and there, trying to gauge Kendall's response to each one. When he moves up and rubs his fingers against Kendall's nipples, Carlos bites his lip when Kendall tips his head back, allowing water to run down the front of his throat, trailing down the curve of his Adam's apple.

"Kendall.." Carlos barely moans his name and Kendall responds with a deep groan, his hands going to Carlos' shoulders, wet fingertips digging into his still-dry skin. Licking his lips and moving closer, Carlos drops his head and licks a stripe across one of Kendall's nipples before taking it between his teeth, biting down on it just hard enough to make Kendall moan. He feels fingernails digging into his skin and he smiles, sucking lightly before letting go and moving to the other nipple, flicking it with the tip of his tongue.

Steam rises all around them and Carlos inches Kendall back toward the shower wall, feeling the stream of hot water fall against his showers, causing him to moan as he bites Kendall's chest lightly. He moves up and drags his lips across Kendall's wet skin, sucking down on one of his collarbones as he moves a hand down, fingertips brushing along the outside of Kendall's thigh.

Kendall shivers and moves a hand to Carlos' hair, tangling his fingers in and tugging it lightly, arching his back when he feels his boyfriend's teeth grazing across his collarbone. It makes him moan and thrust his hips toward Carlos' in a desperate need for friction; he feels Carlos' fingers dig into his thigh and he whimpers, moving a hand down to his ass, pressing his palm flat against it. He squeezes Carlos' ass and pulls him closer, making a needy and desperate sound in the back of his throat that gets lost underneath the sound of the water from the shower head raining down against the tub.

Carlos moves up and kisses Kendall neck lightly, dragging his teeth over it as he moves a hand between them, brushing his fingertips against the head of Kendall's cock, dragging them down the underside slowly. A shudder rocks Kendall's body and he tips his head back against the wet tiles, the fingers in Carlos' hair tangling and twisting more, pulling him closer as he whimpers, grabbing Carlo's ass as roughly as possible.

Hissing, Carlos bites down on Kendall's neck and feels his body tremble; he can feel the vibration of a moan - or a groan, he's not sure what it is - against his lips and he sighs, dragging his lips over the front of Kendall's throat. His lips trail over Kendall's Adam's apple and he kisses it lightly, moving to the other side of his neck as he wraps a hand around the base of his cock, stroking slowly. As he strokes, Carlos thumbs across the head of Kendall's cock and kisses his neck lightly, breathing against it and moaning when he shifts, feeling the water hit the spot between his shoulders.

"Carlos, fuck -  _please_."

Carlos pulls his head away enough to look at Kendall, blinking in confusion. "Please?"

"Yes, god  _damnit_ , please... just, do anything, Litos,  _please_." Kendall babbles, moving his head from one side to the other before looking at Carlos, biting his lower lip. He doesn't know what he's asking for and frankly, he doesn't care; Kendall just wants Carlos right then and there.

"Gotta tell me," Carlos starts, swallowing thickly. "I dunno what you want, baby."

That name comes from nowhere and Kendall stares at Carlos like he hadn't heard it, like he had imagined that word coming from  _those_  lips, and he breathes hard, swallowing before licking his lips. His mind is racing and he doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to respond and he just stares at Carlos for a moment before moving forward, catching his lips in a biting kiss.

When they ease apart, Kendall mumbles, "Did you just call me baby?"

"I... yeah, I think I did." Carlos bites his lip and moves his hands to Kendall's hips, thumbing across his hipbones. "Does that bother you?"

"No, I was just thrown off by it," Kendall admits, smiling. "I like it, don't worry."

Breathing in deeply, Carlos nods and leans in to kiss Kendall again, moving a hand up to cradle his jaw, thumbing across his cheek as they kiss slowly, their lips working together perfectly for the countless time. This kiss goes to Kendall's head and he feels like he's actually getting intoxicated off of Carlos and he has to pull away, licking his lips before rubbing them together, moving a hand to the nape of Carlos' neck.

"Good," Carlos mumbles before pushing Kendall against the shower wall again, smiling. He moves his hands away from Kendall and bends down to turn the shower off, running his hand up the back of Kendall's thigh as he stands. "Why don't we take a bath together?"

"Mm," Kendall hums, looking down at the bathtub, chewing his lip. "Is it big enough for the two of us?"

Grinning, Carlos shrugs and starts to back away. "If it's not, I can always sit on your lap."

"Okay." Kendall nods and laughs quietly, moving around the tub before sitting down, watching Carlos get out. He leans over the edge of the tub and puts the stopper in the drain before turning the water on again, trying to get it to the same temperature as before, running his fingers through the water as the bathtub fills up.

When the tub's half full, Carlos turns to look at Kendall and smiles, letting his eyes roam up and down his body, fingertips swirling the water around a little. He keeps his eyes on Kendall until the tub is filled enough and then he turns the water off before stepping into the tub, lowering himself carefully onto Kendall's lap, placing a leg beside his thighs.

The tub is big enough for the two of them and Kendall spreads his legs a bit, pinning Carlos' knees to the sides of the tub, grinning. "This is much better," he mutters as he moves a hand out of the water, letting his fingertips trail up the outside of Carlos' thigh before moving them to his cock, wrapping them around the base loosely.

"Mhm," Carlos agrees, breathing in softly as he moves his hands to Kendall's shoulders, gripping them tightly.

Kendall strokes Carlos' cock slowly and moves his free hand underneath his ass, pressing wet fingertips against Carlos' entrance, rubbing slow circles against his skin, causing him to tip his head back. He moans and pushes his ass down against Kendall's fingers, licking his lips over and over when he feels one slide inside of him, the water helping ease the digit in. It burns a little and Carlos chews on his lower lip as he leans forward, pressing his forehead against Kendall's.

"You okay?" Kendall asks, moving his hand away from Carlos' cock to stroke his side lightly. "I can stop, try to find something that will help better," he says, voice soft and affectionate and Carlos focuses on that, shaking his head.

"I'm good," he gasps, licking his lips slowly. "Just, go slow, okay? Water's not really a good substitute for lube," he laughs, clenching his eyes shut as Kendall pushes his finger in further, getting it halfway in before stilling his hand. Another gasp leaves Carlos' mouth and he breathes hard, clinging to Kendall as he wills his body to relax, taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly.

It takes a moment for Carlos to calm down and his muscles start to relax, allowing Kendall's finger to slip in all the way without too much trouble. When it's in all the way, Kendall gives his boyfriend a moment to adjust, kissing his lips and cheek, dropping his lips down to Carlos' shoulder before pulling the digit out slowly, listening to Carlos groan.

"Get up," Kendall says, moving his hands to Carlos' hips. "I'm gonna look for something," he says, closing his legs as he pushes Carlos off his lap, standing up when he's able, ignoring the whimpers and moans of protest coming from Carlos.

Leaning against the side of the tub, Carlos folds his hands on the edge and grumbles, "You aren't going to find anything."

"Then we won't do this." Turning around, Kendall moves to the cabinet beside the sink and opens the doors, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he looks inside, tapping his fingers against the cabinet doors. The typical stuff occupied the cabinet: toothpaste, soap, shampoo, hairspray, hair gel, along with a dozen other ordinary household items. Kendall sighs and shuts the cabinets before moving to the sink, looking on the shelves of the vanity above it, laughing when he finds a small packet of lube.

He turns around again and shows Carlos the small, sample-sized packet, grinning proudly. "And I couldn't find anything?"

"Oh, a small packet that's probably five years old. Good going, champ." Carlos laughs and rolls his eyes, watching Kendall as he walks back to the tub.

"Then maybe I shouldn't fuck you," he mutters as he steps back into the tub, nudging Carlos' thigh with his shin. "Gotta move so I can sit down."

"So pushy.."

"You love it," Kendall replies, grinning as Carlos stands, giving him enough room to sit down. When he's situated, Kendall sets the packet of lube on the edge of the tub and smiles up at Carlos, motioning for him to come closer.

Biting his lip and kneeling, Carlos moves toward Kendall and swings a leg over his, settling it beside his thigh before doing the same thing with the other. Once he's settled on Kendall's lap, Carlos moves his arms around the other boy's neck and lifts his ass a little, moving it around on Kendall's lap, smiling when he feels a hand move underneath him, a finger pressing against his entrance.

"What about a condom?" Carlos asks suddenly, breath hitching when he feels Kendall's finger push into him again.

Kendall scrunches his face up and shrugs. "Is it necessary?"

"Well, kind of."

"I'm clean," Kendall starts, moving his finger away from Carlos' ass. "And I know you are, right?" Carlos nods and chews his lip, moving a hand away from Kendall's neck, slipping it down his chest before moving it under the water, stroking his cock slowly. "So, we don't need one... I mean, you can't get pregnant, after all."

Carlos laughs and nods his head, swallowing thickly. "True... I guess we can go one time without it, right?"

"Right," Kendall says, moving his hand to grab the lube, tearing the packet open, tossing the piece of plastic onto the floor. He looks at Carlos and smiles, pouring some of the lube onto his fingers before moving them around, pressing them against his ass. "This should feel a lot better," he mumbles as he pushes the digits in slowly, feeling Carlos' muscles relax around them before tightening once they're in all the way.

"Feels a whole lot better.."

Humming, Kendall starts to work his fingers in and out quickly, scissoring them as he smooths a hand up and down Carlos' side, working him open quickly. Each noise that leaves Carlos' mouth makes Kendall harder and he thrusts his hips forward, fucking into Carlos' hand slowly. He moans and continues to separate his fingers before pulling them out, rubbing the tips against Carlos' entrance slowly, eliciting a low moan from his throat.

"Ready?" Kendall asks, moving his hand away before pouring lube onto his palm.

Carlos nods and sighs. "Yeah, think so."

"You'll have to sit up and let me get out of the water a bit, so this lube doesn't wash away." Carlos nods again as Kendall talks and goes to grip the edges of the tub, lifting himself up onto his knees, allowing Kendall to sit up until his cock is out of the water. He strokes the lube over his cock and nods at Carlos, moving his slicked hand underneath him, rubbing the excess lube on his entrance before pulling his hand away, settling it on Carlos' hip.

When he feels Kendall's hand on his hip, Carlos moves a hand down and holds the base of his cock as he drops his hips, feeling the head of Kendall's cock press against him. He bites his lip and sucks in a breath, gripping the edge of the tub as he slides himself down, feeling Kendall's length push inside him inch by inch until his ass settles against Kendall's thighs. With every inch of Kendall's cock buried inside of him, Carlos starts to rotate his hips slowly, moving both hands to the back of his boyfriend's head, fingers tangling in the wet locks.

The water sloshes around them when Carlos lifts himself off Kendall's lap, the fingers in his hair tightening when he drops back down again, water slapping against his thighs when he does. Kendall tightens his grip around Carlos' hips and helps guide him up and down slowly, brushing a thumb across his stomach slowly, biting his lip as he watches Carlos' head tip back again, exposing his throat. Without hesitation, Kendall moves in and kisses Carlos' skin, covering every inch of his throat in small kisses, peppering them down his collarbone before biting it gently.

Carlos moans and starts to bounce harder, feeling the fingers around his hips tighten when he does, the hands in Kendall's hair moving down between his shoulders, fingertips digging into the wet skin. Some of the water starts splashing above the edge of the tub and Carlos hears it hit the tile, ignoring it when Kendall pulls him down roughly, thrusting his hips up at the same time. Moaning loudly, Carlos digs his fingernails into Kendall's skin and moves a hand down his chest slowly, rubbing one of his nipples with the pad of his thumb, feeling Kendall bite down on his collarbone again.

"Kendall," Carlos whimpers as he starts to move his hips, rotating them slowly before lifting them halfway and dropping them again. His ass slaps against Kendall's thighs and the noise combines with the splashing of the water, both noises getting louder when Carlos lifts up and slams down again, feeling Kendall's breath fall hot against his skin. "T-touch me," he moans, pressing his thumb against Kendall's nipple again, dragging his nail along it before slipping his hand up to the back of his head, fingers tangling in his skin again.

Pulling back, Kendall moves a hand to Carlos' cock and wraps his hand around it, making a loose fist. He bites his lip and starts to stroke Carlos' cock as he thrusts his hips up, slamming into his boyfriend quickly, his hand soon matching the pace. They both start moaning and Kendall leans his head back, feeling Carlos' muscles clench and relax around him, tightening his fingers in his hair before loosening them to scratch his scalp.

Carlos moves his hands away from Kendall's hair and splays them against the wall behind his head, using that as leverage to ride Kendall harder, working his hips down and up quickly. His body trembles and he starts sliding his hands down the wall as he quickens the pace, gasping and moaning Kendall's name loudly, not caring about who might hear him.

"Wanna," he starts, the word dying off into a moan when Kendall grips his cock lightly and strokes it harder, thumbing across the head quickly. "Wanna... wanna come,  _Kendall_ , fuck... please?"

Hearing Carlos beg makes Kendall thrust his hips up harder and he groans, resting his head back against the wall as he twists his wrist, stroking Carlos even faster, listening to the changes in his breathing. He swallows hard and uses his free hand to pull Carlos up, before slamming him back down harder than before, leaving his cock buried deep inside Carlos. "Come for me," he rasps, licking his lips slowly. "Come on, Litos."

For some reason, hearing Kendall use his nickname pushes Carlos off the edge and he comes, moaning and whimpering Kendall's name, writing against his body and bouncing on his cock. He comes hard all over Kendall's chest and stomach, panting heavily when he comes down from his orgasm, the hand around his cock slowing down before moving away and wrapping around his hip.

Slumping against Kendall's chest, Carlos pants out, "Come... come for me, Kendall."

That gives Kendall encouragement and he starts thrusting his hips up, making the water swirl around them violently, some of it sloshing out of the tub again; neither of them pay attention as Kendall fucks Carlos roughly, gripping his hips tightly enough to bruise. One, two, three more thrusts and Kendall's nearly screaming Carlos' name at the top of his lungs, pulling his ass down roughly as he comes, his fingers gripping Carlos' hips tighter than before, fingernails digging into his skin and drawing a small amount of blood.

"Holy..." Kendall huffs, laughing quietly as he buries his face against Carlos' neck, breathing in deeply. "You alright?"

Carlos nods and whimpers, pulling away a little to look at Kendall. "I'm good," he says, his voice squeaky and breaking in a few places. "Kind of sore from sitting in this position for a long time," he admits, blushing slightly.

Laughing more, Kendall nods and kisses Carlos softly. "Sit in the tub and I'll clean you up, okay?"

"Mm, okay.." Carlos slides off Kendall's cock and groans, his knees shaking as he sits up on them before sitting back against the other end of the tub, his legs stretched out as far as they can go, laying on either side of Kendall's. He watches Kendall lean over the side of the tub, grabbing a washcloth from a pile of linens on a shelf near him. When he sits back, he dips the cloth into the water and smiles at Carlos, cleaning his stomach and chest up before moving closer, bending his knees as he does.

"That tired me out," Kendall mumbles as he grabs a bottle of body wash, putting some of it onto the cloth before rubbing it in. "Wanna take a nap when we get out?" He asks, moving the washrag along Carlos' stomach and chest, trailing soap along his shoulder and then down his arm slowly, watching Carlos' eyes flutter shut.

He takes a deep breath and nods. "I'd like that," he says, opening his eyes again to look at Kendall.

"Okay, we'll go to sleep again." With a smile, Kendall keeps running the cloth all along Carlos' skin; he moves it over his neck and then drags it down the middle of his stomach before letting an end brush across his cock. Carlos jumps when that happens and Kendall smooths a hand over his thigh, apologizing quietly as he washes his legs, before using the cloth on himself. When they're both clean, Kendall cups his hands together and plunges then into the water before bringing some up and pouring it over Carlos' skin, washing the suds away.

"This is nice," Carlos murmurs, his eyes half lidded as he watches Kendall.

Kendall nods and washes away all the bubbles from Carlos' body before turning his attention to his own. "It is," he agrees, smiling at Carlos when he's done rinsing himself off. They lock eyes for a moment and Kendall leans in to kiss Carlos before standing and getting out of the tub, holding a hand out to help Carlos, holding onto him when he gets out of the tub and slips on the tile. "Easy," Kendall mumbles, laughing quietly.

"Shuddup."

"That's rude." Kendall chuckles and grabs a towel from the shelf, running it down Carlos' back before stepping away, handing him the towel. "Here you go," he says, turning to grab another towel when Carlos takes the one he offered to him. They wrap their towels around their waists and Kendall goes to unlock the door, opening it a little before poking his head out, looking up and down the hall quickly. "Coast is clear," he says and opens the door more, stepping out into the hall.

Carlos follows him and they make their way back to their room, locking the door behind them once they're inside. Their towels get thrown to a random corner of the room and Kendall climbs onto the bed, laying on his back as he smiles up at Carlos, who looks back at him, chewing his lip. After a moment, Carlos crawls onto the bed and lays next to Kendall, throwing a leg over top of his and sliding a hand over his stomach, yawning.

"Good morning," Kendall murmurs, yawning only seconds after speaking.

"Morning," Carlos replies, laying his head on Kendall's chest as he closes his eyes. He listens to Kendall's heartbeat and in mere moments, he's asleep with his hand laying on Kendall's stomach, curled into a loose fist.

Kendall waits until he hears Carlos start to snore lightly before he allows himself to doze off; he lays back on the bed with one arm around Carlos and the other resting on top of his head. He listens to Carlos' breathing and his light snoring before falling asleep comfortably, holding Carlos close to him throughout the entire length of their nap.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: some arguing.]

The week after Gustavo's party, Kendall spends every free moment with Carlos or Camille. When he's not with his boyfriend or his best friend, he's alone and at home, lounging by the pool with a bottle of liquor from his father's 'off limits' cabinet. He stays outside and drinks until he gets a text or a call from Camille or Carlos and then he leaves home again, spending his time away from the one place he doesn't want to be; when he's alone, the walls close in on him and Kendall is forced to think of all the things that have gone on since he graduated.

Exactly a week after waking up in Gustavo's guest room with a wet and naked Carlos plastered to his body, Kendall comes home from a date with Carlos (he took Carlos to see a movie and they ended up making out in the back row; this resulted in them leaving halfway through and cramming themselves into a bathroom stall, jerking each other off fervently) and finds his father's car parked in the driveway. When he sees the shiny black Lexus, Kendall wants to turn around and drive back to Carlos' house, but his feet carry him toward the front door like they have a mind of their own and he pushes the door open, stepping inside.

He shuts the door behind him and kicks his Converse off, slipping his hands into his pockets as he walks through the foyer, hearing voices in the kitchen before they become hushed. Frowning, Kendall moves toward the voices and steps into the kitchen, flipping his bangs out of his eyes as he stops and looks at his parents, squaring his shoulders.

"You're home early," Jennifer says, clasping her hands together on the counter.

Kendall nods and takes another step, his socked feet sliding against the tiles. "Yeah, my friend had to get home early," he says, flicking his gaze from his mother to his father, raising a brow. "What's going on here?"

Jennifer and Christopher share a look before turning back to their son; Christopher sighs and lifts a hand, scrubbing it over his salt-and-pepper stubble, scraping his fingernails against the scruff. "Sit down," he says, motioning toward a chair beside him.

"No thanks, I'm fine standing." Kendall hooks his thumbs into his belt loops and stares at his father.

"Kendall, please," Jennifer says, her voice soft.

"It's alright, Jennifer." With another sigh, Christopher drops his hands onto the table and looks up at Kendall with tired eyes; the bags underneath are heavy and Kendall swallows hard, wondering how much sleep his father's been getting. "I came over here to talk to your mother... about trying to make things work; about giving me a second chance."

Nodding, Kendall lifts a hand and scratches the back of his neck. "And what does that have to do with me?"

"We're going to  _try_ , Kendall," Jennifer answers, looking at her son with a soft expression. "And I can't guarantee that things will work out."

"They won't and you know it. Has he said whether or not he stopped fucking his secretary?"

"She's not -" Christopher starts, but Kendall cuts him off.

"I don't care whose secretary she is; if she's the office's secretary, then she's  _yours_."

Jennifer purses her lips and clears her throat. "He hasn't said that, no."

"Then why are you agreeing to this bullshit?" Kendall turns to look at his mother, both eyebrows raised.

"Because, despite everything he's done, I still love your father. And we both agree that his not being around is affecting you." His mother's expression goes hard for a second as she speaks and then it goes soft again, her features smoothing out. "Please just accept this, Kendall," she pleads, chewing on her lip nervously.

"He won't, Jennifer," Christopher says, sighing as he stands up. "He's fucking hardheaded and he doesn't want to see either of us happy."

Kendall snorts and throws his hands up in the air. "Of course not! Why would I want to see my parents happy? Why would I want to see my  _loving_  mother be happy without her cheating husband? Do you  _really_  think I care only about myself, Christopher?"

"Obviously you do, if you can't respect me by calling me 'dad.'" Stepping closer, Christopher stares at Kendall and clenches his jaw. "And then you go spend five thousand dollars on a guitar without even  _asking me_!"

"Would you have bought it for me?" Kendall asks, giving his father a challenge expression. "Or would you have gone for a cheaper one because you need to buy lingerie for your whore? Five thousand dollars is  _nothing_  to you, dad and you know it!"

"She's not a whore," Christopher says, clenching his jaw again; his nostrils flare and Kendall can see how angry his father is getting, so he takes a step back, swallowing hard. "And I would have gotten you whatever you wanted or  _needed_  for school, had you simply asked for it."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall laughs and crosses his arms over his chest. "Yeah? Well how was I supposed to ask when you're never here, huh? When you're at your hotel room, sobbing into those little bottles of whiskey and scotch they stash in the minibar, crying about how you lost your wife because she found out about your  _whore_."

An uncomfortable silence falls over the house and Kendall looks at his father, half expecting him to lash out and smack him, but he never does. He just glares at him with hard, narrowed eyes, breathing heavily through his flared nostrils. Some time passes and Kendall looks at his mom, seeing the fear in her eyes before turning back to his father.

"Maybe he's right," Christopher says after the silence drags out for another moment. "Maybe we can't do this and it's all my fault," he adds, sighing heavily as he steps away from Kendall, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. When his father steps away, Kendall takes a breath and swallows thickly, moving a hand through his hair as he looks from his mother to his father.  _Right now is the perfect time; they're placid, at least for the most part, so why not stir them up a little?_  Kendall thinks as he chews his lip carefully.

No one says anything for a while until Kendall breaks the silence. "Can I tell you two something?"

Jennifer and Christopher look at each other, both of them shrugging.

"Of course you can sweetheart," his mother says, smiling softly.

"You didn't wreck the car did you?" His father asks, panic in his eyes.

Shaking his head, Kendall bites his lip harder. "No, I didn't," he answers, swallowing thickly again.

"Then yeah," Christopher answers, nodding slowly as he shows the tiniest bit of a smile. "You can tell us anything."

Kendall takes a deep breath and exhales sharply, blowing the breath out as he looks down at the floor, kicking at the tile with his foot, trying to think of the best way to drop the "I'm gay" bomb on them. It takes a moment for Kendall to collect himself and he looks up at his parents when he's ready, motioning for them to sit down; once they're seated at the table, he runs a hand through his hair and tugs the locks gently, sucking in a huge breath before letting it out slowly.

"I need to know something before I say this," he says, gaze flicking between Jennifer and Christopher, who are both nodding for him to go on. "I need to know that you'll both love me, even after you hear what I'm about to say."

Jennifer looks at Kendall with a concerned look. "I'll love you no matter what," she says, her voice soft and the words sincere.

"And you know that I will too," Christopher agrees, moving a hand to Jennifer's, squeezing it lightly. "So, what's going on Kendall? Are you okay?"

"No... I mean, yeah! I'm fine, I'm _great_..." Kendall pauses and licks his lips, grazing his teeth over the bottom one as he forces himself to just spit it out already and to quit stalling. "I just wanted to tell you guys that... that I'm gay."

When he finally admits it, Kendall feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders and he wants to cry from the admission but he manages to keep the tears in. He chews on his lower lip and slips his hands into his back pockets, looking at his parents with his eyebrows raised expectantly, mentally preparing himself for the worst.

"You're gay," Christopher repeats, and Kendall nods, watching his father carefully. "Are you sure?"

Laughing, Kendall nods and wipes his eye with the back of his hand. "Yeah, pretty sure. You... you still love me, right?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know," Kendall admits, turning to look at his mother, who's staring at him with tears in her eyes. "Aw, mom, don't cry! Don't be disappointed in me, please."

"Disappointed?" Jennifer lets out a quiet laugh and shakes her head, sniffling. "I'm happy for you, honey... and proud that you had the courage to tell us, but... I can't believe you thought we'd stop loving you because you're  _gay_."

The notion does seem ridiculous and Kendall laughs again. "I dunno, most parents don't want their kids to be gay. They want them to be straight and have a family, to give them grand kids one day."

"Well, you can still do that," Christopher points out.

"Yeah, they don't have to be biological."

"Or they can be," his father adds, laughing. "You can do surrogacy."

Kendall blinks and stares at his mom and dad. "Whoa, hold on - there's not gonna be any kids, not for a while anyway. I mean, I just started dating someone and..."

Jennifer makes a noise like a squeal and interrupts him. "You're dating someone?"

"Who is it?" Christopher asks, smirking. "It's not that Diamond kid, is it? I know you always went over there after school.."

"No," Kendall says, shaking his head as he blushes. "It's not James. He's as straight as they come," he lies, giving his parents a smile before clearing his throat. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about my boyfriend," he says.

"Boyfriend!" Jennifer says, clapping her hands over her mouth. " _Oh, Christopher_! He's got a boyfriend."

The colour in Kendall's cheeks deepens and he clears his throat again. "Mom,  _please_ ," he says, almost whining the words out.

"Right, right, sorry," she apologizes, dropping a hand, but leaving one covering her mouth. Kendall can see a grin poking out behind it and he shakes his head, smiling; he can't believe his parents are okay with him being gay and he sighs, relived.

"My boyfriend's," Kendall starts, glaring at his mom when she squeals before continuing, "name is Carlos. We've only been  _official_ for a week now, but... he's great and amazing and he makes me happy."

"Is this the guy you've been hanging out with?"Christopher asks, smiling at Kendall.

"Yeah, and then there's Camille, but I tell mom when I'm hanging out with  _her_."

Jennifer smiles brightly and covers her mouth more, mumbling against her palm. "I'm so happy for you!" She pulls her hand away and drops it to her knee, looking at Kendall, her smile softening. "When can we meet him?"

"M-meet him?" Kendall repeats, swallowing hard.

"Yeah, I need to make sure he's good enough for my son," Christopher answers and Kendall laughs, moving a hand to the back of his head, scratching his scalp lightly. The change in the atmosphere is substantial and Kendall realizes that everything is okay, at least for the moment, and he allows himself to enjoy it, knowing that it won't last long.

Moving his hand down the back of his neck, Kendall shrugs. "I dunno. I'll have to talk to him and see what he's doing one night.."

"How about tomorrow night?" Jennifer asks, turning to look at Christopher. "You said you've been getting off earlier, so we could do it after Kendall gets home from work."

Christopher nods and looks at Jennifer. "Yeah, that sounds good to me," he agrees, turning back to Kendall. "How about it, Kendall?"

"That's a little  _soon_ , don't you think? I mean, I don't want to overwhelm the guy with meeting my parents," he answers, but his mind goes back to the previous week and when  _he_  met Carlos' parents even before they made their relationship official. "You know what, tomorrow sounds good for me, but I'll have to see if Carlos can make it after he gets off work."

"What does he do?" Christopher asks and Jennifer smacks him on the arm. "What was that for?"

"Don't overload Kendall with questions; wait until you meet Carlos to ask."

"Oh," his father says, laughing. "Whoops, sorry. I'll wait until tomorrow, then."

Kendall shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "So, I'm going to go upstairs and text Carlos.. I'll let you guys know what he says."

"Okay," Jennifer says, smiling as she stands up and bridges the gap between herself and Kendall, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. "I love you exactly the same as I did before, so don't doubt that. Never doubt it, alright?"

"I won't, I promise." Kendall hugs his mother and eases back after a moment, smiling. "I'll see you guys later," he says, lifting a hand to give his dad an awkward wave before turning to go into the living room, making his way to and up the stairs.

When Kendall gets to his room, he takes his phone out of his pocket and flops back onto his bed, laying across the middle as he brings a text up, typing a quick message to Carlos.

 _'Hey, I have something to ask you.'_  He hits send and lays his phone on his chest, tapping his fingers over the back, running them over the case as he waits for a reply, chewing his lower lip. It all seems so surreal to Kendall and he replays the last couple of minutes in his mind, trying to figure out just how in the hell things went so smoothly when he was so afraid - and sure - that it was going to go badly.

A moment later, his phone vibrates against his chest and he grabs it, tapping the screen so he can read Carlos' reply.

 _'I'm all ears, baby. ;)'_  Even a week after Carlos first said it, that name still makes Kendall's heart race and he licks his lips, tapping his thumbs against the screen, replying back to him.

 _'I told my parents we're dating. They want to meet you tomorrow.'_  The message is sent after Kendall rereads it three times and he lays the phone on his stomach, staring up at the ceiling, sighing contentedly. He smiles fondly when he remembers his date earlier that afternoon and bites the corner of his lip, heat creeping over his face and along his neck as he blushes, remembering the moment when someone came in just as he was coming and stopped for a second before leaving the restroom. The memory makes him laugh and turns him on, so he focuses on something else and taps his thumbs against the sides of his phone, waiting.

The phone vibrates again and his heart hammers in his chest when he picks it up, tapping the screen.

_'Oh? What time tomorrow?'_

Kendall reads the reply and chews on his lip again, replying.  _'Sometime after six, because I know you have to work and so do I.'_

Everything is quiet downstairs and all around him and Kendall believes, for a moment, that everything will be okay; he thinks that his parents could possibly make things work between them and he is willing to accept it, though he'll be reluctant in doing so. Allowing himself to settle into the peacefulness, Kendall closes his eyes and lays an arm over them, sighing again.

When his phone vibrates again, Kendall picks it up and smiles at Carlos' reply.

_'After six works. How about seven? Don't wanna meet your parents when I'm dirty and gross.'_

_'Yeah, because I'll want to tear your clothes off.'_  Kendall replies and laughs, shaking his head a little.

Once the message is sent, he gets off his bed and lays his phone down on the mattress, pulling his socks off as he makes his way to the door. He rolls them up and tosses them onto the floor before stepping out into the hallway, hands going to his pockets, thumbs hooking in his belt loops, shoulders hunched slightly as he walks, flipping his hair out of his eyes again.

Kendall puts a hand on the banister and walks down the stairs carefully, listening out for any noise; he hears the faint sound of the TV and he looks into the living room when he steps of the bottom stairs. There's some woman on the screen crying and Kendall knows that his mother is watching something and he laughs, moving to the couch, leaning against the back of it.

"Hey," he says as he folds his arms on the back of the couch, bending over to rest his chin on his forearm.

His mom turns the TV down and turns around to look at him, smiling. "Hey."

"Where's dad?"

"In his office. You need him?" Kendall shakes his head and Jennifer nods. "Did you talk to Carlos?" When she says his name, Jennifer can't help but grin and Kendall rolls his eyes, nodding slowly.

"He said he'll come over, so make it at seven. He needs to take a shower and get changed, you know."

Jennifer nods again and turns around more, pulling a bent leg onto the cushions. "Does he make you happy?"

"Honestly?" Kendall says, chewing his bottom lip. "The happiest I've ever been, outside of playing music of course. There's just something about him when we're together, I dunno... and he's  _so_  cute and gorgeous, mom. Nothing like the guys I had a crush on in high school."

"Who did you have a crush on?"

Blushing, Kendall shrugs a shoulder and plays with a stray string. "James."

"So you two...?" Jennifer asks, her forehead furrowing.

"No, we never did," Kendall lies, sighing. "I just had this big, stupid crush on him because he was the most popular guy in school and, up until I met Carlos, was the most beautiful guy I had ever laid eyes on that didn't exist in Hollywood or the movies."

"You really like Carlos, huh?"

Kendall thinks about that for a moment and nods, blushing more. "Yeah, I really do."

"Is it love?" Jennifer asks, drawing the word out in a way that makes Kendall laugh.

"I don't know. Not yet, I don't think... I mean, I could fall in love with him, but it's scary."

"Love is a scary thing," his mother says, sighing heavily. "But it can also be wonderful and amazing and magical."

"Like Harry Potter?" Kendall asks and Jennifer bursts out laughing. Soon, they're both laughing and Kendall shakes his head, straightening up and moving his hands to grip the back of the couch, sighing. "I'm just scared about what will happen when I move away to Boston."

Jennifer looks up at Kendall and frowns. "Does his know about Boston?"

Looking down, Kendall shakes his head and nudges the floor with his foot. "No, not yet."

"Honey," Jennifer starts, moving a hand to Kendall's. "You need to tell him, especially if he's feeling the same way about you. If he truly cares about you, he'll be happy for you."

"I guess so.." Kendall sighs and leans down, hugging his mom. "I'm gonna go to bed early, I'm tired from my date with Carlos."

"So that was a date, huh?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers, trying to keep himself from grinning. "I'll see you tomorrow," he says with a smile.

"Goodnight," Jennifer says.

"Night." With a slight wave, Kendall turns and goes back up the stairs, running up them quickly. He goes to his room and shuts the door behind him, pulling his clothes off before tossing them to the floor, shutting the light off. Feeling his way to the bed, Kendall yelps when his shins hit the frame and he gropes around for his phone, laying down one he has it in his hand.

He turns it on and reads the last reply from Carlos: _'We can do that after I meet your parents.'_

Biting his lip, Kendall replies with:  _'Well, we can say we're going out for ice cream after dinner and go somewhere else..'_

The message sends and Kendall locks his phone, the screen going completely black in less than a second. He looks out his window and sighs contentedly, thinking about the day to come and the dinner with Carlos and his parents; Kendall knows that he should be panicking and freaking out, but he feels calm about the whole thing.

* * *

When Kendall gets off work, he heads home and into his room, stripping his work uniform off and tossing it aimlessly onto the floor, pieces of clothing going everywhere. He's naked by the time he gets to the tub and he turns the shower on half a second before stepping into the bathtub, screaming when ice cold water hits his chest. After adjusting the temperature, he showers quickly and shampoos his hair, tilting his head back to let the bubbles rinse away, staying in that position even when they're all gone.

Fifteen minutes later, Kendall pulls clothes on - a tight gray v-neck shirt and a pair of tight jeans with various rips in the legs - and goes into his mother's bathroom to blow dry his hair. Once that's done, he goes back to his own bathroom and brushes his hair, sweeping his bangs across his forehead so that they're just barely falling over his eyes. After giving himself one last look in the mirror, Kendall goes downstairs and into the kitchen to check on dinner, moaning at the smells coming from the oven.

"Roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and peas. Think he'll like it?" His mother asks as she flits around the kitchen, checking things on the stove before coming back to lean against the counter, looking at Kendall. He notices her outfit for the first time - a dark blue summer dress - and he smiles, nodding his head in response to her question. "Good, don't want to feed him something he doesn't like."

"Carlos will eat  _anything_ ," Kendall says, laughing as he runs a hand through his hair, messing it up. "Where's dad?"

Jennifer waves a hand and sighs. "Upstairs in his office 'taking a call.' You know how he is, though: work, work -"

"Work," Kendall finishes. "I know. I just don't want him to be up in that damn office all night long."

"He won't be, honey; your father knows how important this is to you."

Sighing, Kendall nods and glances at the clock on the oven, biting his lip. "It's almost time for Carlos to get here."

"Does he know where we live?" Jennifer asks, her voice fading as she moves toward the stove.

"Yeah, he knows the address."

"Good."

Kendall turns away and walks into the living room, looking down at his feet as he walks in a straight line until he gets to the couch. When his feet hit the bottom of the couch, Kendall turns and leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest as he waits for Carlos to arrive, the nervousness he didn't have last night coming on at full force. Swallowing thickly, he runs a hand over his face and feels the slight stubble on his jaw and chin, smiling as he drags his blunt nails over it, listening to the soft scratching noise it produces.

A moment later, there's a knock on the door and Kendall pushes himself off the back of the couch, practically running to answer the door before anyone else. When he gets to it, Kendall opens the door and smiles at Carlos - who's wearing a blue long sleeve button up shirt with a black vest and a pair of black jeans - before stepping out for a second; he leans down and presses his lips against Carlos' ear, whispering, "Pretend like you've never seen the house before. They don't know you've been here."

"Gotcha," Carlos murmurs, turning to kiss Kendall's jaw, laughing when his lips brush the stubble. "Nice, you didn't shave last night."

"Figured I wouldn't." With a smirk, Kendall pulls back and steps into the house, motioning Carlos inside. "My mom's in the kitchen and my dad's in his office upstairs."

Carlos slips his hand into Kendall's, lacing their fingers together. "Let's do this," he says, giving Kendall's shoulder a small nudge.

They make their way to the kitchen and Kendall clears his throat, causing his mom to turn around, her eyes widening for a second before returning to normal. She smiles brightly at the two of them and Kendall leads Carlos closer, feeling his fingers squeezing against his own in a reassuring manner that makes his pace slow and come back to it's normal speed.

"Mom," Kendall starts, stopping a few feet away from her, "this is Carlos." He motions to Carlos and then back to his mom, "Carlos, this is my mother, Jennifer."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Knight." Carlos extends his free hand and smiles brilliantly.

"Please," Jennifer says, laughing quietly before continuing, "call me Jennifer. Mrs. Knight is Christopher's mother anyway," she adds, laughing again as she takes Carlos' hand, shaking it carefully. "And it's nice to meet  _you_ , Carlos."

They drop their hands and Carlos squeezes Kendall's again. "You have a lovely home," he compliments, looking around the kitchen like he was seeing it for the first time.

"Thank you." Jennifer smiles and turns back to the stove, stirring something for a moment before turning back. "Would you like something to drink? We have lemonade, tea, water.."

"Lemonade is fine."

Nodding, Jennifer turns to Kendall. "Lemonade for you too?"

"Please," Kendall says, smiling wide despite the butterflies in his stomach. "I'm gonna give Carlos a tour of the house and go upstairs to get dad, is that okay?"

"Of course, but be back in ten minutes. Dinner will be ready then."

Carlos groans and closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. "Oh, don't worry," he starts, laughing quietly as he opens his eyes, " _I_  will be back before ten minutes. I'm not sure about Kendall, though."

"Ha ha," Kendall says, nudging Carlos lightly. "Come on."

"Bossy," Carlos grumbles, laughing quietly as they move out of the kitchen and to the stairs. "Are we really taking a tour or are we going to sneak into your room for eight minutes for a quickie?"

Kendall stops near the stairs and turns to look at Carlos. "No quickie, but we can kiss a little."

"Damn." Carlos grins and brushes his thumb along Kendall's. "I was hoping for a handjob in your bedroom or something."

" _Carlos._ "

"What?"

"Not here," Kendall mumbles as he starts to walk up the stairs. "I don't want my mom to hear that," he explains when they get to the top of the stairs.

Nodding, Carlos touches Kendall's face with his free hand, smiling softly. "I won't make anymore comments, I promise."

"Thank you." Kendall returns Carlos' smile and turns, kissing the palm of his hand lightly. "Now come on."

Kendall leads Carlos down the other end of the hall, opposite of where his bedroom is, and takes him to a door at the far end; he lifts his hand and raps his knuckles against the door, waiting for his dad to tell him to come in. When he doesn't, Kendall drops Carlos' hand and opens the door, poking his head in, spotting Christopher at his desk with the phone receiver to his ear, talking in a low voice.

Opening the door more, Kendall steps in and motions for Carlos to follow, shutting the door quietly once he's in. They stand near the door for a moment before Kendall pulls Carlos to two chairs sitting in front of the desk, each of them dropping down into one. When they sit down, Christopher looks up and holds a finger out before pointing it at the phone.

"Uh-huh... uh-huh... that's unfortunate. Well, tell them that legal help  _isn't_  free and... yeah, yeah. I don't know... Maybe I can... Oh? That'd be great. Thanks, Michael. Uh-huh... no, just spending time with my family. Uh-huh... son brought a date home for me to meet. Yeah, guess I should be going now cause he's kind of sitting in my office staring at me. Yeah, uh-huh... see you tomorrow. Good night," Christopher ends the call and sighs when he puts the receiver back into it's cradle, turning to look at Kendall and Carlos. "Sorry about that," he says, voice soft.

"It's okay," Kendall says, smiling. "Dad, this is Carlos; Carlos, this is my father, Christopher."

Carlos sits up and extends his hand over the top of the desk. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Knight."

"Christopher," he corrects, smiling. "And it's nice to meet you too." Christopher puts his hand in Carlos' and shakes it slowly, sizing him with his eyes before they drop their hands, Christopher's folding onto the desk. "I take it you've already met Jennifer?"

"Yes I have. She's really nice, and pretty."

"That she is," Christopher agrees, something like pain flashing across his face for a split second before it's gone. "So, you're Kendall's boyfriend."

Carlos grins and looks at Kendall, nodding. "Yep. For a whole week, as a matter of fact," he answers, turning back to Christopher.

"That's good. I like to see him happy." With a sad smile, Christopher looks at Kendall and then sighs. "So, Carlos, what's your last name?"

" _Dad_ ," Kendall interjects, crossing his arms.

Laughing, Carlos shakes his head and pats Kendall's knee. "It's alright, Kendall. I don't mind," he says, before directing his attention back to Christopher. "My last name is Garcia."

"As in Officer Garcia's son?" Christopher asks, his eyebrows raising.

"Officer Miguel?"

Christopher laughs and nods. "Yep! Wow, if I had known you were his boy..." He trails off and shakes his head. "He's a great man, your father. I've had the pleasure of meeting him a few times."

Carlos smiles, beaming as he talks about his father. "He's amazing, honestly. Both in law enforcement and when it comes to parenting."

"I can see that," Christopher comments, grinning. "You seem like a fine young man. Speaking of which, how old are you?"

 _Really, dad?_  Kendall thinks, wishing he could shrink himself or just disappear so he wouldn't have to listen to his father grill his boyfriend.

"Twenty," Carlos answers confidently. "And I will be twenty-one in August."

Nodding, Christopher looks at Carlos and narrows his eyes. "Well, I should probably save the rest of the questions for later. I'm sure Kendall's mom wants to know some of these things too." He laughs and stands up, pushing himself away from his desk and Kendall notices, for the first time, that his dad is still in his suit.

"Uh, dad?" Kendall asks, nodding pointedly at his father's outfit.

"Huh?" Christopher looks down and laughs. "Sorry, I didn't have much time to change after getting in from the office. I'll go throw something else on and I'll be down soon," he says, moving around the end of the desk before leaving the room.

"Your dad seems... nice." Carlos turns to Kendall once Christopher is gone and smiles. "I expected to be put through lie detector tests and shit like that, but he seems cool. Definitely one of the nicest dads I've ever met," he mumbles the last words and sighs, pushing himself to his feet.

Kendall follows and wraps his arms around Carlos, leaning down to kiss him softly. "That's for being a trooper through that little interrogation."

"Mm... what do I get for enduring the whole evening?" Carlos' words are soft and his lips move against Kendall's as he talks.

"Whatever you want," Kendall answers, moving a hand down Carlos' back. "Just name it and I'll do it."

Carlos grins and nods, pulling away from Kendall. "I'll think about it during dinner and I'll tell you when we leave after, okay?"

"Sounds good." Licking his lips, Kendall moves his hands to Carlos' hips and guides him back toward the door and out into the hall. He shuts the door and holds his hand out to Carlos, smiling when their palms slide together and swallowing when they tangle their fingers together. They walk to the stairs and take each one slowly while Carlos brushes the pad of his thumb along the back of Kendall's, chuckling when he shivers from the contact.

"God," Carlos moans as they get closer to the bottom level of the house. "That smells  _amazing_."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head, stepping off the last stair. "My mom's a great cook. You'll love it, I'm sure."

"And you'll love  _my_  mom's cooking. Homemade - and authentic - Mexican food." Carlos grins proudly and Kendall rolls his eyes. "What was that for?"

"Nothing," Kendall answers, smirking. "You just act like  _you_  make it."

Carlos pouts and lightly punches Kendall's arm. "I can make some things from time to time, but it's not nearly as good as my mom's."

"Oh, I'm sure." Chuckling, Kendall leans down and kisses Carlos lightly. "I'm kidding; I bet your food is amazing, too."

"Damn right," Carlos mumbles before kissing Kendall back. "Now can we  _please_  go into the kitchen? I'm starving!"

Kendall laughs and throws his head back a little, tightening his grip on Carlos' hand. "Sure," he says, dropping his chin toward his chest before leading Carlos to the kitchen again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: sex]

"Help me set the table." Jennifer holds out a stack of plates to Kendall and he drops Carlos' hand reluctantly to take the stack of dishes. "And you too," she says, grabbing a handful of silverware before handing it to Carlos.

"Really, mom?" Kendall asks, narrowing his eyes slightly.

Carlos laughs and shrugs, taking the silverware. "I don't mind at all, Kendall," he says, nudging Kendall's shoulder before walking past him to the table.

Biting his lip and smiling, Kendall follows and they start to set the table, laughing when they get in each other's way; Carlos smacks Kendall's hand away a few times and that only makes them giggle more. When the table is done, Kendall turns back to his mother with an accomplished smile, both hands resting on his hips.

"Looks good." Jennifer laughs and starts taking food to the table, setting it down in the appropriate places before going back to grab something else. Eventually, Kendall helps her and they finish putting dinner on the table in no time; by the time Kendall puts the last bowl down, his father comes into the kitchen and whistles.

"What?" Kendall asks, straightening up as he looks at his dad. "You clean up nice," he comments, smiling.

Christopher looks down at his clothes - a white polo shirt and a pair of khaki shorts - and then back at Kendall. "Thanks."

"Are you all ready for dinner?"

Carlos and Kendall exchange a glance and nod, grinning at each other. "Yes," they say in unison and they laugh quietly as Carlos moves to stand near Kendall.

"Chris, help me get glasses," Jennifer says, nodding her head toward the cabinet.

"Alright." Christopher moves over to his wife and Kendall slips an arm around Carlos' waist, resting their foreheads together as his parents work on gathering the last few things.

"Wanna sit next to me?" Kendall's words come out in a whisper and Carlos nods, grinning.

After stealing a glance over Kendall's shoulder, Carlos leans up and kisses him softly. "Of course," he answers verbally, moving a hand to Kendall's jaw, touching it lightly.

When Kendall's mom and dad come back, the two of them break apart and Kendall pulls a chair out for Carlos, waiting until he's seated to drop into the chair next to him. Two glasses of lemonade are put in front of them before Jennifer sits down and starts putting food on her plate, giving the boys an expression that screams, 'Start eating.'

Kendall piles food onto his plate and Carlos laughs at the amount he gets, but Kendall pokes him in the rib when he sees that their plates are almost identical in size. After everyone gets their plates, they settle in and start eating, a comfortable silence falling around the dinner table until Carlos makes a pleased noise after tasting his chicken.

"This is," he starts, speaking around his first bite before swallowing, "the best chicken I've ever had."

Jennifer blushes and smiles. "Well, thank you."

"So, Carlos," Christopher starts, taking a sip of wine before continuing, "what do you do for a living?"

Kendall listens to Carlos clear his throat and keeps eating as his boyfriend talks. "I'm a mechanic," Carlos answers, taking a sip of his lemonade. "I work at Rocque's Auto."

"A mechanic, huh." Jennifer raises her eyebrows and smiles as she continues to eat.

"Yes ma'am," Carlos says, smiling. "I'm not certified yet, but I'm working on getting there."

After swallowing and taking a sip of wine, Jennifer asks, "And how old are you?"

"Jen, I already asked," Christopher says, pursing his lips when Jennifer turns to glare at him.

Carlos just laughs and turns to Jennifer. "I'm twenty," he answers, before turning back to his food.

They all eat in silence for a while and Kendall keeps looking up at his parents occasionally, before flicking his gaze to Carlos. When he looks at his boyfriend, Kendall isn't at all surprised to see him looking back; they smile when their eyes lock and then turn away, each turning their attention back to the plates in front of them.

"So, how did you two meet?" Jennifer asks as she settles back against her chair, holding her glass of wine.

"Well," Carlos starts, looking at Kendall with a nervous smile. "We met at a party a while ago and he almost ran me over," he finishes, turning to look back at Jennifer, biting his lip to keep from laughing at the shocked expression on her face.

"Kendall!" She says, staring at her son with wide eyes. "You almost hit this boy with your car?"

Giggling, Kendall shakes his head and covers his mouth, mumbling against his fingers, "No, of course not! I was walking and I ran into him  _that_  way."

Jennifer's face softens and she looks between Carlos and Kendall, who are both covering their mouths, and nods. "As long as you didn't almost run over him in your car," she says, nodding again before taking a sip of wine.

"Do you have any siblings?" Christopher asks, watching Kendall and Carlos over top of his wineglass.

"Yes," Carlos says, smiling brightly. "I have a little sister named Alex, who is twelve."

"That's a big age gap," Jennifer comments, raising a brow.

Nodding, Carlos leans back in his chair and sighs. "My parents had me when they were young and before they really got into their careers, so they wanted to wait a while to have a second child. Plus, I think they wanted someone who was older and could actually  _help_  with a baby, instead of being too young and too little to do anything."

After draining the wine in her glass, Jennifer asks, "What about your parents? Do they know that you're gay?"

"Yeah, they've known for a while and they're okay with it. My dad's kind of overprotective and my mom just wants to see me happy, but she does like to 'scan' - as she says - the guys I date to make sure that they're okay." Carlos moves a hand to Kendall's thigh as he speaks, thumbing across the fabric of his jeans.

"Have they met Kendall?" Christopher raises an eyebrow as he speaks and leans forward.

"They have, just about a week ago. My mother loves him and keeps asking when I'm going to bring him around again." Laughing, Carlos turns to see Kendall blush and stops him from covering his face up. "And my dad thinks that Kendall's real good for me," he adds, holding Kendall's hand against his thigh.

Christopher nods and smiles, finishing off his wine before setting the glass down. "Did you go to school to become a mechanic?"

Carlos bites his lip and shakes his head. "I'm kind of just learning everything from Gustavo, my boss," he answers, squeezing Kendall's hand reflexively.

"Oh," Christopher mutters, nodding his head. "Do you  _want_  to go to college?"

"I dunno," Carlos admits, shrugging a shoulder.

Feeling awkward, Kendall interjects, "But he's a great mechanic with or without school."

"Thanks, baby." With a smile, Carlos leans over and kisses Kendall lightly, brushing his thumb over the back of his boyfriend's as they ease apart. "But I'm not really that good," he says, turning to look at Christopher again.

"He's being modest," Kendall mumbles, keeping his attention on Carlos like he's the only one in the room.

Chuckling, Christopher shrugs and holds his hands up. "I bet you're great," he says, before resting an elbow on the table and cradling his chin in his hand.

"Thank you." Squeezing Kendall's hand, Carlos sighs and turns to Jennifer, smiling. "And thank you for inviting me over here; dinner was great and it was nice to meet you both."

"You're welcome, but thank  _you_  for making Kendall happy. He's been kind of down lately, and it's nice to see someone be there to pick him up." Jennifer gives Kendall and Carlos a smile before clapping her hands together lightly. "I don't have anything for dessert, but I think there might be ice cream in the freezer, if anyone's up for that?"

"Actually," Kendall starts, straightening up in his seat, "Carlos and I were going to go out for dessert."

Jennifer nods and smiles, folding her hands on the table. "That sounds wonderful. You two have a nice time, okay?"

"And don't stay out too late," Christopher adds, nodding his head at Carlos and Kendall.

"Don't worry; I'll have him back before midnight." Carlos grins and turns to Kendall, scrunching his nose.

Kendall sticks his tongue out and laughs. "Gee, thanks warden."

"Just looking out for you," Carlos replies, leaning in to kiss Kendall lightly.

"Alright, alright," Christopher laughs, shooing Carlos and Kendall away. "That's enough of that."

Standing up, Carlos smiles at Kendall's parents. "Thank you both, seriously. This was great, and I hope we can do it again soon."

Christopher gets to his feet and nods, holding his hand out to Carlos. "Me too - there's still a lot of things I want to ask you."

"Uh-oh," Carlos mumbles as he takes Christopher's hand, shaking it slowly. "I'm sure there's a lot of things I haven't told either of you yet," he says, chuckling when he drops his hand, before wrapping his fingers around Kendall's when he stands. "It was nice meeting both of you."

"Likewise," Jennifer says as she stands, touching Carlos' shoulder lightly. "You two be careful," she says again, looking at Kendall with a soft expression.

Nodding, Kendall leads Carlos toward the living room. "We'll be careful, don't worry," he says, waving over his shoulder at his parents.

When they get to the door, Kendall lets go of Carlos long enough to pull a pair of shoes on. Once they're on, he opens the door and lets Carlos go out first before stepping out onto the porch behind him, wrapping both arms around his waist. He leans down to kiss Carlos' neck lightly and breathes against his skin, feeling rough fingertips glide over the backs of his hands. Their fingers slot together and Kendall smiles, pressing a small, chaste kiss to Carlos' jaw.

"That wasn't so bad," Carlos mumbles as he leans back against Kendall, closing his eyes.

Kendall hums against Carlos' skin and nods, kissing up his jaw slowly. "No one fought, my parents seemed to love you, and I didn't get embarrassed by any stories of my childhood, so I'm happy."

"Damn, I wanted to hear stories about baby Kendall." Laughing, Carlos turns his head and kisses Kendall softly, humming against his lips before pulling away, smiling. "Where are we going from here?"

"We could go to the park," Kendall suggests, moving a hand away from Carlos', resting it low on his stomach. "It's dark enough, we won't get caught if we fool around there.."

Carlos rolls his eyes and chuckles again. "You would suggest that, wouldn't you?"

"What can I say? I'm into the idea of you and me fucking in a public park."

"Mm," Carlos moans and kisses Kendall again, grinning. "Come on, then." With that, he drops his hands away from Kendall's and steps off the porch, turning to look at Kendall, motioning for him to follow.

Kendall jumps off the porch and walks with Carlos to the car, moving a hand across his ass before giving it a light smack. When Carlos shoves him away, he laughs and moves around the front of the car, getting into the passenger side as Carlos gets behind the steering wheel, starting it quickly. He backs out of the driveway and turns to Kendall, raising a brow.

"Oh," Kendall laughs, settling against his seat. "Take a left, go to the end of the street, take a right, keep going for three miles, take another left, then go for another half mile and the park is on the right."

Backing out all the way, Carlos puts the car in drive and follows Kendall's instructions. "Are you sure no one will see us here?"

"Positive. The park is out of the way from houses and we'll be far enough away from the road that no one will see us."

Carlos nods and bites his lip, driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other laying on his thigh, palm side up. When he takes the first turn, he feels Kendall's hand slip into his hand he smiles, brushing their thumbs together slowly as he leans back against the seat, sighing contentedly. The rest of the ride is quiet and Carlos focuses on the road and the small, light touches of Kendall's fingers against his own that make him shiver and smile fondly.

When they get to the park, Carlos pulls far enough away from the road so that his car won't be seen and he cuts the engine off, along with the lights, before turning to Kendall, who kisses him the second they're face to face. The kiss ends as quickly as it started and Carlos pulls away with a smile, licking his lips slowly as he turns to open his door. He scrambles out of the car and shuts the door behind him as he walks around the back of the car and to the passenger side, wrapping his arms around Kendall once he's out.

"Do you carry condoms with you?" Kendall asks nonchalantly, resting his chin against the top of Carlos' head.

"Maybe I do." Carlos laughs and scrunches his nose, mumbling, "Do I look like a place for you to rest your chin?"

Chuckling, Kendall nods and buries his face against Carlos' hair. "You look like a place where I can rest any of my body parts on," he grumbles, wrapping Carlos up in his arms, sighing against the top of his head.

"That's rude," Carlos mumbles, slipping his hands up Kendall's back. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Cause I like putting my body on yours?"

Carlos thinks about that for a moment and laughs, nodding. "Okay, I'll take it."

"Good." Kendall kisses the top of his head and pulls away, leaning back against the car. "You wanna act like children first or you wanna go fuck underneath that tree over there?" As he talks, Kendall nods his head to the left, motioning to a large tree.

"I'd rather have some fun first," Carlos says as he takes a step back, unbuttoning his vest. He slips it off his shoulders and smiles at Kendall as he starts to unbutton his shirt, pulling that off once it's undone to reveal a white tank top underneath. Once his shirt and vest are off, Carlos pulls Kendall away from the door and opens it, tossing his clothes into the backseat before shutting the door again and turning to grin at his boyfriend. "Didn't want to get those dirty," he explains, moving a hand over his chest.

Kendall nods and smiles, holding his hands out to Carlos. "What do you want to do first: swings or the slide?"

"I don't know, they're both viable options." Giggling, Carlos takes Kendall's hands and allows himself to be pulled to his boyfriend, their bodies pressing against each other perfectly. "How about the swings? I used to love those when I was a kid," he says as he wraps his arms around Kendall's waist.

"To the swings we go," Kendall says, laughing as he leads Carlos over to the swing set, keeping him in his arms until they get there. When they do, Kendall drops his arms and moves to sit on one of the swings, groaning when he drops onto the wide leather strap that serves as a seat. He wraps his hands around the chains and pushes his feet against the ground before letting go, swinging forward then backwards slowly.

Carlos watches him for a moment and laughs, shaking his head as he moves to the swing next to him, sitting down on it before mimicking Kendall's actions; he wraps his hands around the chains and pushes himself back before picking his feet up. He swings back and forth and pumps his legs, kicking off the ground more and laughing, tipping his head back as he swings.

They swing back and forth in silence for a while, save for their occasional giggling, and Kendall stops his swing suddenly, twisting it a little to look at Carlos with a serious face. "Litos," he says, nudging Carlos' calve with his foot.

"What?" Carlos asks as he stops himself, turning his swing to look at Kendall. "I was just getting a good pace!"

"Sorry," Kendall says, laughing quietly. "I just wanted to suggest we have a competition."

Furrowing his brow, Carlos stares at Kendall and then twists the opposite way. "For what?"

"To see who can swing the highest. Winner gets to pick what the other does for him," Kendall explains, watching Carlos twist around until he comes back to face him, his lips pursed together. "Come on, Litos."

"I shouldn't have allowed you to call me that," Carlos grumbles, licking his lips quickly. "And fine, we can do it - but you're going  _down_ , Knight."

"Pretty sure  _you're_  going to be the one that goes down, Garcia." Kendall smirks and turns the right way, planting his feet on the ground. "Okay, on the count of three, we'll start swinging and whoever gets the highest first wins. Alright?"

"Gotcha," Carlos says, nodding as he turns to the right position. His feet are pressed against the ground and he grips the chains tightly.

Kendall takes a deep breath and starts counting. "One...two...three!"

Once Kendall says three, Carlos pushes off the ground and starts swinging back and forth, pumping his legs the best he can, glancing at Kendall occasionally. Kendall does the same thing as Carlos and he grunts as he does it, his tongue caught between his teeth and a look of concentration on his face as they start rising higher.

Moments later, Carlos goes higher than Kendall and he laughs when his boyfriend lets out a frustrated groan.

"Sorry baby!" Carlos calls out as he slows himself down, using his feet to stop himself when he gets low enough. He watches Kendall and smiles proudly when the other boy stops, nudging his leg with his foot, laughing. "Someone owes me..."

"Yeah, yeah," Kendall says, waving a hand dismissively. "I think I'm done swinging for tonight."

Carlos nods and stands up, moving in front of Kendall, wrapping both hands around his. "Wanna head to the tree now?"

Nodding, Kendall leans up and kisses Carlos softly before pulling away, both of them licking their lips slowly. He doesn't say a word after that, just slips his hands out of Carlos' and moves them to his hips, holding onto them as he stands up. They back up toward the tree and Carlos stops Kendall by planting both hands against his chest and giving him a soft shove.

"What was that for?" Kendall complains, pouting down at Carlos.

"Gotta get the condoms." Shaking his head, Carlos pulls away from Kendall and walks to the car.

Kendall bites his lip and heads over to the tree, sitting down on the ground in front of it and leaning back against the trunk. He rests his head back against the bark and looks up at the branches, watching the leaves shake in the light breeze. It's oddly calming and Kendall closes his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as he waits for Carlos to come back.

The wind rustles the leaves and Kendall listens to the noise, humming quietly under his breath; he's still doing it when Carlos comes back and he makes an 'oof' noise when Carlos sits on his lap. Laughing, Kendall opens his eyes and moves his hands around to Carlos' back, fingers tugging at the fabric covering his body.

"Need this off," Kendall mumbles, pushing the tank top up Carlos' skin slowly.

When the fabric gets high enough, Carlos lifts his arms and feels Kendall shift underneath him as he takes it off, tossing it to the ground beside them. In the faint mixture of moonlight and park lightning, Kendall admires Carlos' body carefully, running a hand along his chest before moving it over his shoulder, fingers trailing down his bicep.

Carlos shivers and sucks in a breath, moving his hands to the hem of Kendall's shirt. "Kendall," he breathes, licking his lower lips slowly.

"Shh," Kendall whispers, dragging his fingers down the bend of Carlos' arm and back up. "We've got plenty of time; we don't have to rush this."

Sighing softly, Carlos nods and plays with the fabric of Kendall's t-shirt, letting it slide against his fingertips as he feels his boyfriend's hand glide down his arm before cupping the back of his bicep. The small touches are like fire, leaving a cool burn in their wake, and Carlos wants more; his body is desperate for more of Kendall's touch and he whines in the back of his throat, pushing their hips together.

Kendall closes his eyes and moves his free hand along Carlos' stomach, thumb brushing along his navel carefully, tracing the outside before moving down. He glides the pad of his thumb down the trail of fine hair running from just underneath Carlos' belly button to the top of his jeans, listening to the way Carlos' breath hitches as he does it.

It's just the two of them and nature; the sounds of the leaves moving above them and the wind blowing through them are the only noises around to cover up the moans and whimpers coming from Carlos' mouth when he feels Kendall's hand press against the front of his jeans. He tips his head back, bunching the fabric of Kendall's shirt in his hand as he tries to keep his hips still, a long moan ringing out into the night.

Opening his eyes, Kendall moves his hands down and undoes Carlos' jeans slowly, popping the button at a pace that makes Carlos whimper and buck his hips forward, fingernails scratching at the fabric in his hands. Kendall just shushes him quietly and gives him a kiss, moving to undo the zipper next, tugging it down slowly, listening to the noise as it fills the air.

Carlos tips his head back and swallows thickly, feeling the heel of Kendall's hand press against his covered cock. He makes a needy, desperate sound in the back of his throat and pulls his head forward again, lifting a hand to tangle his fingers in Kendall's hair. Underneath the light, Kendall and Carlos look at each other and lock eyes, their hands moving along the other's body slowly, carefully.

"Please," Carlos finally says, breaking the comfortable silence between them. "Kendall,  _please_."

Biting his lip, Kendall moves his hands to Carlos' hips and eases him onto the grass, laying him on his back. "I don't want this to be like all the other times," he whispers, leaning down to breath against Carlos' skin before kissing it. "I want this one to be different."

When Kendall says that, everything falls into place for Carlos and his heart speeds up, the fingers in Kendall's hair relaxing before pressing against the back of his head. The thought of going slow with Kendall - or anyone, for that matter - makes Carlos feel loved. It makes him feel like someone actually cares about him, and he's glad that it's Kendall.

"Do you trust me?" Kendall asks and the question comes out of nowhere, throwing Carlos off.

"Of course," Carlos answers almost immediately, swallowing thickly. "If I didn't trust you, would we be here right now?"

Moving up, Kendall kisses Carlos softly and whispers against his lips, "I've never wanted to do this with anyone else."

"Me either." The admission is quick but sincere and Carlos smiles, moving his hand around to touch the side of Kendall's face lightly. "I really do care about you, Kendall," he whispers, thumbing across Kendall's bottom lip softly, feeling his breath fall against it.

"I care about you too." Kendall kisses the pad of Carlos' thumb and smiles against it. "A lot," he admits, breathing softly against Carlos' skin.

Carlos doesn't say anything because he feels like, if he did, that he would ruin the moment. So, he keeps his mouth shut and smiles up at Kendall, feeling his heart beat madly in his chest when he looks up at the other boy, seeing how the highlights in his hair come out underneath the light from a nearby pole.

After a moment of companionable silence, Kendall sits up and moves his hands to Carlos' jeans. "Let's get these off, huh?"

"My shoes," Carlos whispers, sitting up on his elbows before kicking his shoes off, smiling at Kendall. "Nevermind," he says, biting his lip.

Kendall laughs and pulls at the waistband of Carlos' jeans, tugging the denim down his legs while Carlos lifts his hips to help make the removal easier on him. Once they're down all the way, Kendall pulls them off Carlos' legs and sets the fabric down next to them, smiling at his boyfriend as he runs a hand down the outside of his thigh.

"Beautiful," Kendall whispers, marveling in the way Carlos looks spread out in front of him in the grass with soft light shining on him. If Kendall could live in one moment for the rest of the night, he thinks that he'd pick this one.

Blushing, Carlos shakes his head and breathes deeply through his nose.

"You are." Nodding, Kendall leans down and kisses Carlos' chest lightly. "You are stunning," he whispers, his lips moving along Carlos' skin as he forms each word, "and magnificent."

"Stopit," Carlos says, managing to say the two words as one. His face feels like it's on fire and so does his chest, the burn following Kendall's mouth down his skin and to his stomach. "You're making me blush," he mutters, moving a hand to the back of Kendall's head, running his fingers through his hair slowly.

"Good." With a smile, Kendall wraps both hands around the waistband of Carlos' boxers and starts to pull them down slowly as he kisses the middle of his stomach, inching down. When they get far enough, Kendall sits up and pulls the fabric off, tossing it onto the grass beside them as well, smiling down at his boyfriend.

Being exposed in front of Kendall isn't something new to Carlos, but the feeling he gets this time is. He feels like he's being seen for the first time and like Kendall has never seen him before and that makes him blush harder. And Kendall certainly is acting like it's the first time he's seen Carlos naked, like he's drinking it all in and trying to see what he wants to touch - or taste - first.

A hand moves along the inside of Carlos' thigh and he yelps quietly, spreading his legs for Kendall, breathing softly through his nose as he arches his back to his boyfriend's light touches. His eyes close and Carlos moves a hand down, splaying it on his lower abdomen, feeling Kendall's fingers move closer to his cock. When they get to their destination, they wrap around the base and Carlos lets out a desperate little whine, arching his back more as he keens and digs his fingertips into his stomach.

Every inch of Carlos' body feels like it's on fire and he moves his hand down the side of Kendall's neck, gripping his shoulder. He digs his fingers into the fabric covering Kendall's skin and bucks his hips forward, fucking into the loose fist that Kendall made around his cock. Every couple of thrusts, Kendall tightens his grip and Carlos moans loudly, writhing on the grass, moaning and whimpering Kendall's name quietly, begging him to keep touching him, to fuck him.

Moving his hand away from Carlos, Kendall stands up and takes his shirt off, tossing it onto the pile of clothes lying on the grass beside the other boy. He licks his lips and kicks his shoes off while he undoes his jeans, pushing them down before letting them drop onto the pile. Lastly, he takes his boxers off and chucks them to the side as he sinks to his knees between Carlos' legs, leaning down to kiss him slowly.

Carlos' mouth opens immediately and Kendall licks his way inside, pressing his tongue against his boyfriend's as he pushes their hips together. Their cocks slide against one another and Carlos moans into the kiss, the noise being muffled by Kendall's mouth as their tongues fight for dominance. Groaning quietly, Carlos pushes his hips up and wraps his tongue around Kendall's, sucking on it lightly as he scratches his nails down his boyfriend's back, listening to him moan.

It's maddening how bad Carlos wants Kendall and he pulls away from the kiss, letting his head drop back against the grass as he pants heavily, moving his hands to Kendall's ass. He squeezes it lightly as they roll their hips together, feeling Kendall's breath fall hot against his chest just seconds before his lips are pressed against his skin and making a trail down.

"No," Carlos moans, moving both hands to the side of Kendall's neck, stopping him. "Please, Kendall.."

Huffing, Kendall looks up at Carlos and swallows hard. "You want me to fuck you now?"

 _God yes_ , Carlos thinks, but he can't seem to get the words out, so he just nods his head, pleading with his eyes. Kendall gets the hint and kisses his way back up before biting Carlos' shoulder lightly. The bite makes him moan and rock his hips against Kendall's again, their cocks sliding together and making his body feel like he could burst into flames at any moment.

Then Kendall's lips are right against his ear and it's like his body cools down; he focuses on the way Kendall kisses his earlobe, just barely sucking on it before releasing it, and that makes the burn better. A whine leaves Carlos' throat and he moves his hands to the back of Kendall's head, fingers loosely tangled in the slightly damp locks.

"Where's the condom?" Kendall asks, barely breathing the words against the shell of Carlos' ear.

"In the pocket of my jeans."

Kendall pulls away and moves to grab Carlos' pants, digging around in the pocket before finding a bottle of lube and a condom. He pulls both things out and puts the condom wrapper between his lips as he pops the bottle on the lube, pouring some onto his fingers. Once the digits are slick enough, he shuts the bottle and lays it on the grass along with the condom, moving his hand down slowly before pressing his fingers against Carlos' entrance.

He takes a moment to rub his fingertips around before pushing them in slowly, scissoring them when they're halfway in and listening to the way Carlos moans underneath him. When they're in all the way, Kendall starts to separate them slowly as he pulls them in and out, rubbing his thumb against Carlos' balls slowly, making him moan even louder.

Pushing his fingers back in, Kendall leans down to kiss Carlos' chest and bite at it gently, moving down to kiss his nipple. He flicks his tongue against it and then moves to the other one, doing the same thing to it, making his boyfriend whine his name. The muscles around his fingers clench and relax as Kendall pushes them in and out, working Carlos open slowly, wanting to take his time.

But soon, Carlos rocks his hips against Kendall's hand and the 'go slow' approach goes out the window.

"Kendall -  _ngh_  - please," Carlos moans, writhing and twisting underneath him.

"Okay, shh." Pulling his fingers out, Kendall grabs the condom wrapper from the grass and tears it open. He sits up on his knees and slides the condom down over his cock, making sure it's snug at the base before pouring lube onto the palm of his hand and stroking it over the latex.

Kendall moves forward and lifts Carlos' hips slightly, pressing the head of his cock against his entrance. Without waiting, Kendall slides into Carlos slowly, wrapping a hand around his hip as he bites down on his lower lip. He gets halfway in before he starts rocking back and forth, moving his hips against Carlos' ass and pulling out before pushing back in, going all the way.

Swallowing thickly, Carlos hooks one of his legs around Kendall's waist and splays a hand against his stomach, moaning out his name. After a moment, Kendall starts to move in and out slowly, thrusting his hips toward Carlos' ass as he digs his fingertips into his hip. He slides his free hand down the outside of Carlos' thigh and starts fucking him a little harder, angling his hips in a way that makes Carlos moan loudly.

Carlos bends his other leg and plants his foot against the grass, using it as leverage to push back against Kendall, fingertips digging into his stomach lightly, his name falling from Carlos' lips in a series of moans and small whimpers. With the moonlight washing over him, Kendall bends down and presses his forehead against Carlos', pushing his cock in all the way before stilling his hips, breathing heavily against his boyfriend's lips, sweat dripping down the nape of his neck.

After a moment, Kendall starts to rock his hips again, moving them slowly as he pulls his cock out of Carlos before pushing back in a second later. He works up a steady pace that keeps Carlos moaning and writhing underneath him, thrusting his hips into his boyfriend's ass roughly before changing it up and thrusting in and out slowly, dragging his cock out of Carlos at a pace that's unbearable for both of them.

Everything suddenly comes crashing down on Kendall and he drops his head to Carlos' shoulder, panting heavily against it as he realizes how serious they are about each other. He stills his hips and moves both hands up Carlos' side, cupping the side of his neck with one as he rests the other just under his ribs, breathing harshly against his skin when it hits him: he's never felt like this with anyone else, not even James.

"Kendall?" Carlos' voice sounds far off and it takes Kendall a second to hear him; when he does, he nods and pulls his head away, looking down at his boyfriend in the light, watching one of his hands wrap around the one on his neck. "You okay?"

"Yeah.." Licking his lips, Kendall thumbs across Carlos' jaw lightly. "I'm fine," he whispers, leaning down to kiss Carlos softly, pressing their lips together for a moment before pulling away, sighing softly through his nose.

The hand on his moves and Kendall feels Carlos' thumb move against his, listening to him whisper, "Are you sure?"

"Carlos.." Kendall's voice is soft when he speaks and he swallows.

"Yeah, Kendall?"

Taking a deep breath, Kendall leans down and kisses Carlos again, curling his fingers around the back of his neck before pulling away. "I love you," he admits, breathing the words against Carlos' lips, eyes searching the brown irises in front of him.

Carlos blinks his eyes and moves a hand to Kendall's face, cupping his jaw lightly. "Do you know what you just said?" He asks, his voice hushed like they're surrounded by people and he doesn't want them to hear their conversation.

"Yes," Kendall whispers, keeping his eyes locked on Carlos' face. "I love you," he repeats, feeling his heart pound against his ribs, his fingers trembling as he moves them along Carlos' neck, swallowing hard.  _Say it back_ , he thinks.  _Just say anything, please_.

Breathing in deeply, Carlos studies Kendall's face and bites his lower lip. "I love you too," he whispers, his voice squeaky and breaking in a few places.

"Yeah?" The word slips out of Kendall's mouth and he feels ridiculous for even uttering it, but he calms down when Carlos laughs, nodding his head as he does, his fingers trailing down the length of Kendall's jaw.

"Yes," Carlos answers, fingertips drumming against the stubble on his skin.

Kendall smiles and leans down, catching Carlos' lips in a soft kiss that ends with them biting at each other's lips, which gets Kendall going again. His hips move back and forth carefully, his cock thrusting in and out of Carlos slowly as he presses their foreheads together, keeping his eyes open as long as he can before letting them flutter shut.

When Kendall starts moving again, Carlos slips a hand to the back of his head, tangling his fingers in Kendall's hair, gasping his name as he pushes his hips back fervently, trying to get Kendall to go harder. He slips his free hand down between them and starts stroking his cock slowly, moaning loudly when Kendall starts thrusting in and out harder, the sounds of their skin slapping together filling the air.

"Carlos, fuck.." Kendall moans and presses his chest against Carlos', burying his face in his boyfriend's neck, breathing in his scent. Sweat drips off both of their bodies and drops slide down Kendall's shoulders as he thrusts in harder, falling on Carlos' skin. Neither of them mind the sweat or the heat, they just absorb themselves into one another and focus on each other and staying in that moment.

With one more thrust, Kendall hits something inside of Carlos that makes him see stars behind his eyelids. He moans louder, writhing and contorting his body, angling it before pushing his hips back, trying to get Kendall to hit it again. The fingers around his cock tighten and he starts stroking harder, gasping and panting curse words, alternating between Spanish and English.

Hearing Carlos speak Spanish sends Kendall into overdrive and he starts thrusting harder. "Fuck, getting...  _God_ , so tight..." He babbles, spewing words out incessantly against Carlos' skin before he straightens up enough to look down at him. Kendall blinks his eyes and stares down at Carlos, his eyes half lidded as they roam over the moonlit skin underneath him.

"Wanna...  _wanna come_ ," Carlos whimpers, moving a hand to Kendall's ass, digging his fingers into the flesh. "Please, god,  _please_!"

Kendall moves his hands to Carlos' hips and pulls him against his cock, thrusting in as he does, listening to the noise that leaves Carlos' mouth. The sound rings out into the night and Kendall makes a sound similar to it, grunting as he fucks Carlos harder, feeling his muscles clench around him before relaxing and tightening again. It makes him want to come, but Kendall holds out, waiting to make Carlos come first.

"Come on," Kendall says, running his hands down Carlos' thighs, scratching them lightly. When he hears Carlos whimper, he does it again, dragging his nails up his thigh and back down it, digging his fingertips into Carlos' skin.

Biting down on his lip, Carlos tips his head back and writhes more, hand moving up and down his cock quickly. "Kendall," he moans out, moving his hand away from his cock to grab Kendall's, moving it to his cock. "Please."

Kendall nods his head and starts stroking Carlos' cock in time with his thrusts, losing his rhythm a few times before getting back into it. He strokes Carlos quickly and thumbs across the head, feeling the muscles around his cock clench and tighten, feeling like a vice around him. "Come on," he encourages, moving Carlos' hand down to his balls, licking his lips. "Come for me, Litos."

When Kendall moves his hand, Carlos lets out a whine, followed by a whimper, and starts to roll his balls between his fingers, lightly touching them before giving them a soft squeeze. This, in combination with the way Kendall's hand feels around his cock, makes Carlos' whole body tense and he clenches his muscles around Kendall's cock as he comes, nearly screaming curse words out into the night air.

Slowing his hand down, Kendall strokes Carlos through his orgasm and keeps thrusting into him, feeling his body tremble, his knees shaking against the ground as his own orgasm gets closer. He thrusts one last time and groans loudly, Carlos' name a moan on his lips, his voice and noises breaking the silence around them, filling the night air.

"Kendall.." Carlos huffs and moves his hand to Kendall's hip, licking his lips.

"Yeah." Chuckling, Kendall pulls out of Carlos and lets him lay down on the grass, falling back on his heels. He breathes hard and takes the condom off immediately, tying it off before laying it on the grass beside his leg, looking at Carlos. "You okay?"

Carlos nods and licks his lips again, smiling. "I'm better than okay," he answers as he sits up, groaning quietly. "Are you?"

"Mm," Kendall replies, smiling lazily at Carlos before sitting down next to him, leaning against him slightly. "Tired, though."

"Can I stay at your place tonight?" Carlos asks, yawning quietly as he lays his head against Kendall's.

Shrugging, Kendall wraps a shaky arm around Carlos' waist, mumbling, "Don't see why not. You'll need to let your dad know."

"Already did." Blushing, Carlos buries his face against Kendall's shoulder, laughing. "I did it while I went to the car," he admits, moving a hand over Kendall's leg slowly, dragging his fingertips down his thigh.

"Sneaky bastard," Kendall teases, kissing the top of Carlos' head. "And we should get going," he adds, moving to stand up, his legs wobbling a bit when he does. Getting used to his legs again, Kendall grabs his jeans and pulls them on before gathering the rest of his clothes, pulling his shirt over his head, cradling his shoes and socks in his arm along with his boxers.

With a heavy sigh, Carlos gets to his feet and grabs his jeans, slipping them on clumsily, almost falling a few times before getting them on all the way. He does them up and grabs his shirt, throwing it over his shoulder before scooping his shoes and boxers up. "Ready," he says as he straightens up, watching Kendall bend down to pick something up off the ground.

"Gonna throw this away on our way back to the car," he says, shrugging a shoulder and laughing at Carlos' disgusted face. "You're one to talk, you know," he adds, nodding pointedly to the mess on Carlos' stomach and chest.

"Shut up," Carlos grumbles, using his tank top to clean the come off his skin. "Come on, let's go before we get in trouble."

They make their way to the car and Kendall stops a few feet away to drop the condom into a trash can, smirking at Carlos' protests. When they get into the car, Kendall settles back against the seat and tosses his shoes into the back, where Carlos' shoes and tank top eventually end up. Carlos starts the engine and turns in the grass before heading back down to the road, pulling onto it quickly as he flips his lights back on.

"Probably gonna have bugs all over me," Carlos grumbles, shaking his head in disgust. "I bet I already do."

Kendall laughs and turns to look at Carlos, raising a brow. "I bet you don't," he says, moving a hand to Carlos' thigh. "And if you do, you can take a shower at my house, it won't be a big deal."

Carlos nods at the suggestion and keeps driving back to Kendall's house, the whole ride quiet save for the noise of the engine and the sounds of nature around them. When they get back, both of them grab their clothes from the back of the car and go into the house quietly, Kendall leading the way upstairs, holding a finger to his lips until they get to his bedroom.

Once inside, Kendall tosses his clothes to the floor and takes his shirt and jeans off, letting them join the pile. Without waiting for Carlos, he lays down on the bed and watches as his boyfriend takes his jeans off, letting them fall into a heap of denim on the floor. He turns around and smiles at Kendall before moving onto the mattress, snuggling right up to Kendall's side, laying his head against his chest.

"Did you mean it?" He asks, trailing his fingers over Kendall's sweat-sticky skin, listening to his breathing.

"Mean what?" Kendall asks, closing his eyes as Carlos traces small circles over his shoulder.

"That you loved me." Biting his lip, Carlos looks up at Kendall expectantly.

Kendall opens his eyes and turns, looking down at Carlos, nodding his head. "Yeah, I meant it. Wouldn't have said it if I didn't, right?"

"Guess so." Carlos mumbles the words, but smiles at Kendall as he leans in, kissing him softly.

"Now," Kendall groans as he turns over onto his back, moving an arm around Carlos' shoulder, "stop worrying about it and go to sleep."

Carlos laughs and nods, laying his head on Kendall's chest, his body forming perfectly against his boyfriend's side. "Night," he says, yawning before adding, in a whisper, "I love you."

Hearing Carlos say that for a second time makes Kendall's heart beat rapidly and he swallows, smiling. "I love you too. I'll see you in the morning."

The two of them settle together and fall asleep quickly; Carlos stays close to Kendall all night long, waking up occasionally to watch him sleep or to just listen to the sound of his breathing. He lays his head back on Kendall's chest and listens to his heartbeat, letting it lull him to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: use of the word 'fag' again, that's about it.]

Kendall wakes up late the next morning and thinks about just staying in bed with Carlos all day when he remembers that they both have to work. After waking Carlos up, the two of them take a quick shower together and rush downstairs to eat breakfast quickly, barely saying two words to each other. By the time they're done eating their cereal, it's time for them to leave and Kendall kisses Carlos all the way to the door before letting go, listening to his boyfriend's promises of seeing him later.

They leave at the same time and go their separate ways, Kendall watching Carlos' car disappear from the rear view before speeding through the neighborhood as fast as he can. He gets to work a few minutes before he's supposed to clock in and leans against the wall, breathing heavily from running frantically from his car to the employee entrance, thinking he was going to be late.

He clocks in a moment after catching his breath and pulls his apron on over his head, folding the midsection in half a bit before securing the ties around his back, making his way from the break room to the store room. It's cool in the store and Kendall revels in the air conditioning, letting his head fall back a little and his eyes flutter shut when he steps into the storage room.

After a moment, he gets to work and whistles happily as he cuts boxes open, taking things out of the palettes before loading them onto a dolly. When it's fully loaded, Kendall pulls it out of the store room and weaves his way through the aisles until he gets to the right place. He stoops down and starts restocking the shelves, humming quietly to himself as he works.

Kendall spends the rest of his shift stocking shelves, checking merchandise, and doing other various jobs around the store until it's time for him to clock out. He half jogs to the break room when it's time for him to go and he clocks out quickly, taking his apron off before tossing it over his shoulder, thankful to be going home.

He leaves the store and starts walking to his car, both hands shoved in his pocket and eyes roaming over the parking lot slowly, doing one long sweep before coming back to his car. When he looks at the Audi, Kendall notices a car next to it and sees someone leaning against it, their head tipped back and throat exposed. It takes him too long to realize that the other car belongs to James and that he's the person leaning against it; when he realizes it, Kendall stops in his tracks and stares at James, swallowing thickly.

Thinking that he can go by unnoticed, Kendall moves to his car and wraps his hand around the handle, getting it open just before James' head drops, eyes locking on him. Their gaze meets for a moment before Kendall drops his eyes, staring at the top of his car as he swallows, chewing on the edge of his lip, willing James to just leave him alone.

"Hey.." James' voice is soft and he clears his throat, moving a hand through his hair slowly. "Can we talk?"

"Nothing to talk about," Kendall replies, shutting the door as he looks up, taking a deep breath.

James frowns and moves his hand to the back of his neck. "Yeah, we've got some stuff to talk about," he says, eyes locked on Kendall's face.

"What do you want to talk about, James? And make it quick; I've got a date to get ready for." The last part isn't entirely true, but Kendall wants to rub it in James' face that he has someone that's not ashamed to be seen with him.

"Can we go somewhere?" James asks, slipping his hand down the side of his neck, resting it on his shoulder. "Please, Kendall."

The look on James' face makes Kendall's heart break a little and he sighs, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He knows he shouldn't say yes and that he should blow James off in payment for every time he got ditched by the other boy... but he can't find it in his heart to do it. James might have used him and failed to acknowledge his existence sometimes, but he was still the first boy Kendall ever loved.

"Where do you want to go?" Kendall drops his hand to the top of his car, staring at James with a raised eyebrow.

Biting his lip, James shrugs his shoulders and gives Kendall a small smile. "How about we go for coffee?"

"Coffee sounds fine," Kendall agrees, nodding his head curtly. "And this isn't a date, you do know that?"

"Of course." But, even as James says those words, his face falls and Kendall can tell that he thought it was a date.

"I'll meet you at the coffee shop down the street." Without waiting for James to reply, Kendall opens his door and slides into the driver's seat, slamming the door shut behind him as he puts the keys in the ignition. The engine roars to life and Kendall waits a few seconds before backing out of his parking spot and heading down the lot, tires squealing against the pavement as he does.

Five minutes later, Kendall parks in front of the coffee shop and gets out, heading inside to order before James gets there. When his coffee is ready, Kendall pays and grabs the cup before heading to a table in the corner, sipping his drink slowly, eyes on the door. A moment later, Kendall puts his cup down on the table and watches as James comes through the door; he spots Kendall a second later and comes over to the table, not bothering to stop at the counter to order anything.

When James is settled in the seat in front of him, Kendall looks at him expectantly.

"What?" James asks, as he folds his hands on the table.

Kendall sighs and rolls his eyes, taking another sip of his coffee. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh." Sighing, James bites his lip and taps his fingers on the tabletop. "Are you really with  _him_?"

The question comes out of nowhere and Kendall blinks, setting his cup down on the table as he stares at James, trying to figure out why he's asking that and why, exactly, he would care. Shrugging, he licks his lips slowly and looks down at his cup, running a fingertip along the edge.

"Yes, I'm really with him," he answers, finally.

"Are you happy?" James asks, his voice breaking in a few spots and Kendall sighs, nodding his head. "Where'd you guys meet?"

"James.." Kendall sighs again and looks up at his ex boyfriend, biting the edge of his lip. "Why are you asking me this?"

James shrugs a shoulder and looks down at the table. "Because I was curious," he mumbles, playing with the ends of his sleeves.

As Kendall watches James, his heart breaks even more and he thinks about reaching out to touch James' hand, but thinks better of it. Instead, he curls both hands around the bottom of his coffee cup and watches the other boy quietly, grazing his teeth along his lower lip.

"I'm sorry," Kendall sighs, shaking his head as he speaks. "I'm sorry that you had to see me with Carlos the other week and I'm sorry that he punched you, but you've  _got_  to admit that you deserved it. You can't go around hating people because they're gay, James," he says, his voice growing louder. "You push me aside because I'm a 'fag,' but yet you're the same thing as me, aren't you? You like dick and you like shoving  _your dick_  up some other guy's ass but you won't admit it because you're some big hockey star. What are you going to do when Mercedes finds out? Or you try shoving it up her ass for once?"

Lifting his gaze, James stares at Kendall and bites his lip. "I broke up with Mercedes after the party," he admits, pulling the ends of his sleeves down over his hands.

"Oh.." Kendall furrows a brow and sighs. "Is it because she found out about us?"

"No," James snaps, almost immediately. "I did it because... because I miss you, okay? I don't know why, but I just  _do_."

 _Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no,_  Kendall thinks, shaking his head slightly as he stares at James. "I miss you too," Kendall admits because, really, he does miss James in quite a few ways.

"Then why are you with  _him_?"

" _He_  has a name," Kendall chides. "And it's Carlos."

"Whatever," James snorts, waving a hand. "Why are you with  _Carlos_  if you miss me?"

 _Do you really want me to list the reasons_? Kendall thinks, sighing as he shrugs his shoulder, splaying his hands. "Because he's different than you; he actually likes when I'm around and he doesn't leave when he gets what he wants. He's sweet, funny, kind, amazing, gorgeous, sexy... and he's everything you tried to be but failed at."

James' face falls and he goes pale listening to Kendall's list. "So, what, he's a bottom?"

"Christ, really?"

"It's a valid question." James chews his lip again and stares at Kendall with soft, sad eyes.

Kendall sighs and closes his eyes, nodding slowly. "Yeah, he is."

"I could have -"

"No," Kendall interrupts, snapping his eyes open and clenching his jaw, "you couldn't have done it. You were so hellbent on fucking  _me_ , that you never thought that maybe I'd like to do the same to you. And you always said that being a bottom was for girly guys. So no, James, you couldn't have bottomed for me, because you weren't  _girly_  enough."

James' face falls again before hardening and his eyes go dark. "Well, maybe if you would have asked," he says harshly.

"Right!" Kendall laughs and shakes his head, licking his lips as he stares at James again. "When was I supposed to ask, hmm? When you were pinning me against the bed or the wall with a hand over my mouth, telling me to be quiet?"

"You make me sound like a horrible person." James' voice softens and he sighs. "Give me one more chance, please?"

Clenching his jaw again, Kendall shakes his head and grabs his coffee. "I told you: I'm with Carlos now," he mumbles as he stands up, slipping his free hand into his pocket, "and I'll be gone in no time, anyway."

"You're just.." James mutters, looking up at Kendall with pleading eyes. "You're just going to leave? Like that?"

"Yeah, I am." Kendall gives James a tight lipped smile and turns to walk away. "Now you'll know how it felt for you to walk away from me every time," he calls out, making his way to the door.

He leaves James alone in the coffee shop and doesn't look back as he heads to his car, leaning against it with a heavy sigh. Kendall thinks about the conversation they just had and finishes the rest of his coffee before turning to throw it into a trashcan on the sidewalk. Once the cup is thrown away, Kendall looks back up at the cafe and sees James coming out, rage flashing across his face as he steps outside, moving toward Kendall.

"Whoa, whoa," Kendall says, holding up his hands as he backs away, heading toward his car. "Just stop right there."

James stops a foot away from Kendall and curls his hands into fists at his sides. "Why won't you give me another shot? And don't say because of Carlos, I know that's bullshit."

"Wow, you are psycho." Shaking his head, Kendall drops his hands and shoves them into his pockets. "You really want to know why I won't give you another shot, James?"

"Yes," the other boy answers, nodding his head slowly. "I want to know; I think I  _deserve_  to know."

Kendall sighs again and nods, grinning. "Alright, here's why I won't give you another chance: you're rude, mean, and a bully. You think that's  _completely_  acceptable for you to toss around words like 'fag' and expect people _not_  to be affected by it. You also think that, by doing this, you can deny the fact that you, James Diamond, are a homosexual yourself. Would it really be so bad to just accept yourself, James? You're not the captain of the hockey team anymore; you're just James Diamond, high school graduate, and most likely to go off and become a pro in the NHL."

While Kendall talks, James listens and narrows his eyes.

"And don't get me started on how you think you're the best thing since sliced bread. Newsflash:  _you're not_. Maybe you would be, if you weren't such a stuck up jerk that  _uses_ people." When James shakes his head and opens his mouth like he's about to protest, Kendall holds a finger up. "You used me for years and then you used Mercedes as a cover up to hide the fact that you were fucking me behind her back. I mean, I don't even  _like_  Mercedes because she's as stuck up as you are, but no one deserves to be treated like that. Not even bloodsucking parasites like Mercedes Griffin."

"Is that all?" James asks, clenching his jaw.

Laughing, Kendall shakes his head and walks to his car. "It's not even  _close_ , but I'm done with you, James. We can be friends, if you want, but that's it. No more screwing around in the back of your car in the middle of the night and no more calling me when Mercedes doesn't want to have sex with you," he says, giving James a smile. "If you want to be friends, you have my number."

"Like I'd ever call you, fag!" James says, almost automatically, and Kendall laughs, shrugging before splaying his hands.

"See what I mean? You're still calling me a fag. When will you just stop?" Kendall drops his hands and turns when he gets to his car, getting in and shutting the door behind him. A moment later, he's pulling out of the parking lot and onto the street, heading home as quickly as possible.

When Kendall gets home, he parks in the driveway and starts tearing his clothes off even before he's through the door. He steps inside and kicks his shoes off near the door, tossing his work shirt onto the table before heading into the kitchen. Humming to himself, Kendall moves to the fridge and opens it, immediately grabbing a bottle of beer from the shelf of the door, twisting the top off as he shuts the fridge again.

He takes a sip of the cold beer and leans against the counter, thinking about Carlos and the night they shared before, shivering when he remembers the way Carlos looked underneath him in the moonlight. The image fades into another and this time, Kendall can hear Carlos saying 'I love you,' and he shudders again, draining half the beer before setting the bottle on the counter.

Looking around the kitchen, Kendall notices the clock and frowns when he realizes that he can't call Carlos for a while because he's still at work. He sighs and grabs his beer again, moving through the kitchen and into the living room, flopping down on the couch before grabbing the remote. After flipping the television on, Kendall starts going through the channels, stopping at a few of them before going onto other ones, frowning at everything that's on.

Half an hour into flipping through channels, Kendall hears a knock on the door and he jumps, shutting the television off as he gets up to answer the door, the half a bottle of beer in his hand. He sets it down on the table and opens the door, blinking rapidly when he sees Jo standing on his front porch, wearing a white sundress and a weary smile.

"Hi," she says, chewing on her lower lip. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything, I just..."

"No," Kendall says, interrupting her train of thought. "Come on in," he says, smiling brightly at Jo as she comes inside.

She sighs and turns to look at him, still biting her lip. "I remembered where you lived and I knew you'd be home from work at this time, and I wanted to see if you'd like to hang out?"

"Uh..." With a sigh and a shrug, Kendall throws his hands up. "Sure, why not?"

Jo smiles more and lets go of her lip, clapping her hands together once. "Good! I was afraid we wouldn't have a chance before you left for school."

"Well, you've got plenty of time," Kendall lies, knowing that his departure from Minnesota is just around the corner. "Would you like a beer?"

"No thank you. I don't drink," Jo answers, her voice squeaky and sweet, just like her smile. In that moment, Kendall compares Jo to Camille and he reminds himself to call Camille later. "Kendall?"

Kendall snaps out of his thoughts and shakes his head. "Yeah? Sorry, I was spacing."

"Oh," Jo giggles, nodding. "Did you ever see Carlos?"

"Yeah, I did." Kendall smiles and lifts a hand, running it over the back of his neck. "It's hot in here, you wanna go hang by the pool?"

Jo nods her head and smiles, following Kendall when he walks past her, heading through the kitchen. "So, is he gay? Or bisexual?"

"He's gay," Kendall answers when they get outside, turning to look at Jo as he walks backwards. "And thank you, for giving me his work address. We've hit it off really well in the past couple of weeks, it's insane."

"That's good." Jo nods her head slowly and he face falls a bit. "I'm glad I could help," she mumbles, forcing a smile at Kendall.

Biting his lip, Kendall nods and turns around, stopping at the edge of the pool before sitting down. "So, how have you been?"

Shrugging her shoulders and taking her shoes off, Jo walks over to the pool and sits next to Kendall. "I've been okay," he answers, slipping her feet into the water and gathering the end of her dress, tucking it underneath her legs so it won't get wet. "So, I guess things with you have been great? What with Carlos and all..."

"Yeah, things have been good. He's really made this summer the best one yet and... I dunno, he's great." Kendall beams as he talks about Carlos and swishes his feet around in the water, looking at Jo in the corner of his eye. He notices the frown on her face and he swallows, suddenly realizing  _why_  Jo is acting like this whenever he talks about Carlos. "Jo..."

"Hmm?" She responds, turning to look at Kendall with a smile.

"Are you alright?"

"Just fine, why do you ask?" Jo's eyebrows knit together and she kicks her feet in the water.

Kendall shrugs and sighs. "You just look like you  _hate_  hearing about Carlos," he answers, chewing his lip.

"I will admit that it's not the best thing to hear about," Jo mumbles, turning to stare at the ripples in the water whenever she moves her feet. "But you're happy, so I'm trying to be happy for you. It just sucks, because I've had a crush on you for such a long time, and I'm hoping that this is just a phase..."

"Oh, Jo.." Kendall's heart breaks when he hears that and he scoots closer, putting an arm around Jo's shoulders. "I'm sorry it's hurting you, but I  _am_  gay; this isn't a phase I'm going through, it's what I am. And we'll always be friends, you know that, don't you?"

Jo sighs and nods, resting her head against Kendall's shoulder. "I know," she mutters, closing her eyes as she gets closer to Kendall.

They sit like that for a while and Kendall rubs Jo's arm slowly, listening to the splash of water whenever their feet move. Eventually, Jo pulls away and looks at Kendall, biting her lip until he turns to look at her; when they're face to face, she leans in and kisses him softly. The kiss doesn't last long and Kendall pulls away, blinking at Jo as he moves his hands to her shoulder, biting his lip.

"What was that for?" He asks, dropping his hands to his lap.

"I just wanted to see what it'd be like," Jo answers, sighing as she moves to stand up. "I should get going," she mumbles, letting her dress fall into place as she moves to slip her shoes on, cursing herself under her breath.

Kendall sits still for a moment and then turns to watch her go, scrambling to get up. "Jo, wait!"

Jo stops and turns around, looking at Kendall with tear rimmed eyes.

"I'm sorry if I lead you on in anyway," he starts, voice soft as he walks toward Jo, with one hand extended. "I like you, I really do, but only as a friend. You're smart, beautiful, kind, but not my type. That's not a bad thing, don't get me wrong! It just means that someone else will get a chance to be with you and he can fully appreciate everything you've got to offer."

"It's alright." Jo smiles and lifts a hand, wiping tears away from her eyes before pushing a curl behind her ear. "I understand it, Kendall, I really do; you're gay and Carlos is your everything." Her voice breaks when she says 'Carlos' and 'everything' and Kendall's heart shatters even more.

Taking a step forward, Kendall wraps his arms around Jo and hugs her tight. "If things were different," he says, letting his words trail off, hoping that Jo will understand without having him finish.

"Yeah," Jo agrees, laughing as she buries her face against Kendall's chest. "I really should get going," she says after a moment, sniffling as she pulls away from Kendall, giving him a smile. "I'll see you at work sometime."

"See you at work." Kendall drops his arms and shoves his hands into his pockets again, watching Jo as she turns around, her curls bouncing on her shoulders as she walks. He thinks, for a moment, that he could be happy with Jo in some alternate universe, and then his thoughts go back to Carlos and his smile and the way he feels.

When Jo is gone and her car disappears down the street, Kendall goes inside and grabs his phone from his pocket, bringing Carlos' name up before tapping 'call.' He puts the phone up to his head and walks around the living room, listening to the other line ring before someone picks up.

"Hey," Carlos answers, making Kendall laugh at just how casual he is.

"Hey," Kendall greets back, smiling when he hears Carlos laugh. "Are you almost done with work?"

"I'm done now, why? What's up?"

Taking a deep breath, Kendall moves his free hand through his hair. "Wanted to see if you'd come over tonight? House is all mine until at least midnight and I have a friend that wants to meet you."

Carlos laughs on the other end and Kendall ca hear Logan in the background. "Yeah, sure. Mind if I bring Logan along?"

"Not at all, the more the merrier."

"He says yeah," Carlos mumbles to someone - Kendall realizes that it's Logan - before coming back to say, "Alright. We'll be over there in an hour, does that sound good?"

"Sounds great. I'll see you then," Kendall says, smiling brightly.

"And hey, Kendall?"

"Hmm?"

"I'll bring some food over, my mom made a ton of food tonight and said that I could give some to Logan, but I guess I'll just take some to you instead."

Kendall laughs and nods, though Carlos can't see it. "Sounds good. I'm gonna call Camille and get her over here."

"See you soon," Carlos says, and Logan calls out in the back, "Yeah! See you later, Kendall!"

"See you guys." Shaking his head, Kendall ends the call and brings Camille's number up, opting to send her a text instead.

 _'Hey, Carlos is coming over tonight, how about you?'_  He sends the message and goes upstairs to change out of his work pants, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket before he takes them off.

_'Sure! I'll be over in a few. :)'_

Smiling at the message, Kendall sends one that says 'okay' and tosses his phone onto the bed before taking his khakis off. He tosses them onto the floor and goes to the closet to grab a pair of board shorts, slipping them on quickly as he makes his way to the dresser. When he opens a drawer, Kendall rummages around for a t-shirt and grabs one at random, pulling it over his head; he looks down and smiles when he sees that he grabbed a Captain America shirt and wonders if they'll think he's nerdy.

Kendall decides not to change his shirt and grabs his phone again on his way out the door, slipping it into his pockets as he makes his way down the stairs and into the living room. He lays down on the couch and grabs the remote again, flipping the television on as he waits for Camille to arrive, watching some show on the cooking channel that's barely holding his attention.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: some kissing, cursing.]

When the guy on TV starts chopping a vegetable that Kendall's already forgotten the name of, he hears a knock on the door and jumps off the couch, moving to answer it. He turns the knob and pulls the door open quickly, giving Camille a huge smile when he sees her standing on his porch, wearing a tight Sex Pistols t-shirt that's ripped in a few places, along with a short skirt that's frayed along the edges.

"Wow," he says, whistling low. "You look nice."

Camille smiles and nods, moving both hands into her back pockets. "Thanks! You don't look so bad yourself, Captain," she says, winking playfully and laughing when Kendall looks down at his shirt.

"Thanks. Come on in." Kendall opens the door all the way and steps aside so Camille can enter, shutting the door behind her once she's inside. "Sorry to say this, but shoes off at the door; it's kind of a rule."

"I know, I know. I've been here before, you dork." With another laugh, Camille kicks her heels off and they clatter to the floor among Kendall's shoes. Once the heels are off, she drops down a couple of inches and Kendall smirks, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Now we're just waiting for Carlos and his friend."

Raising a brow, Camille turns her face up to look at Kendall. "A friend, huh?"

Kendall laughs and nods his head, gently pushing Camille toward the living room. "Yes," he says when they get to the couch, letting his arm drop away from her shoulders, "and no, you wouldn't be into him. Seeing as he has a penis and not.."

"Not the other thing I'm  _really_  into?" Camille offers, grinning as she pulls Kendall down onto the couch beside her, both of them laughing as their limbs tangle together.

"Yeah,  _that_." Kendall laughs the words out as he situates himself and leans against Camille a little. "But, who knows? Maybe you'll think he's the perfect kind of guy and you'll give him a shot," he says, leaning their heads together and sighing contentedly.

"Well," she starts, crossing her legs a little as she speaks, "tell me about him! Is he super buff like a wrestler, or is he built kind of like you?"

Rolling his eyes, Kendall laughs again and shrugs. "He's of medium build, I guess, kind of like me but with some extra meat on his bones," he says, closing his eyes as he feels Camille's hand on his leg. "And he's really cute, like... 'if-I-weren't-with-Carlos-and-he-were-into-men-I'd-ask-him-out' kind of cute."

"Eye colour?"

"Brown... I think." Kendall shrugs facially and nuzzles his head against Camille's. "You smell good," he mumbles, blushing when the words come out of his mouth.

Camille giggles and nods her head. "Thanks, I tried a new shampoo that smells like berries. Think it'll win the heart of your boyfriend's friend?"

"Definitely," Kendall mumbles, inhaling deeply before laying his head back against the couch. "Any more questions about Logan?"

"His name is Logan?" Camille asks, sounding surprised.

"Yes, why?"

Shaking her head, Camille sighs and leans back with Kendall. "Nothing, no reason. What colour is his hair?"

"It's dark brown, almost black."

"Anything else I should know?"

Kendall thinks about it for a moment before answering, "He's got dimples and a great chin. Like, seriously, his chin is one of the best ones I've ever seen." Camille giggles at that and Kendall raises a brow. "What're you laughing at?"

"How often do you look at someone's  _chin_?"

"Don't knock it," Kendall answers, turning to stick his tongue out at Camille, who returns the gesture. "And he's a mechanic, just like Carlos; they work together with some guy that's been their mentor since they were kids."

"So he's good with his hands... Interesting." Camille laughs and closes her eyes. "What's Carlos like again?"

Licking his lips, Kendall takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "He's great, Camille. Honestly. Carlos is sweet and cute and adorable but sexy and gorgeous; he's everything I've ever wanted, wrapped up into one person."

"One  _Latino_  person," Camille corrects, smirking.

"Yeah, I forgot that you were hung up on that." Kendall elbows her lightly and sighs. "He's honestly perfect, to me at least."

Camille nods and opens her eyes, looking at Kendall with a smile. "Do you love him?"

"I... well..." Kendall stammers, licking his lips nervously. "Yeah, I do. I know it's early or whatever, but I honestly feel like I'm in love with him, or like I could be falling in love with him, you know?"

"I know that feeling exactly." Humming, Camille moves over and fits her body against Kendall's, laying her head against his shoulder. "Does he know that I'm going to be here?"

Nodding, Kendall moves an arm around Camille's shoulders again. "I told him that I was going to call you, yeah. He's bringing food over, too; authentic Mexican food, courtesy of his mom."

"God, I bet that's amazing."

"It should be," Kendall agrees, nodding his head as he turns to watch the TV; he watches the guy throw some kind of meat into a pan and he nearly laughs when he hears the loud sizzle.

"How long are we staying tonight?" Camille asks, her eyes on the TV as well.

Kendall shrugs a shoulder, the one  _without_ Camille's head laying against it, and sighs. "My mom doesn't get off until midnight, so sometime after that, I guess. Unless we head somewhere before then," he answers, eyes on the screen.

"Okay, I told my parents I was staying the night here."

"They don't mind?" Kendall raises a brow and glances at Camille, who shrugs. "Did... you didn't tell them that I was gay, did you?"

"I might have mentioned that you wouldn't make a pass at me, yes." Kendall pales when he hears that and gulps, blinking slowly at Camille. "I didn't say you were gay, honey," she reassures him, lifting a hand to touch his face, stroking his cheek slowly. "Calm down."

Kendall nods his head and relaxes the second Camille's fingers trail down his jaw, touching him lightly in a way that only a friend could do. It's oddly comforting and Kendall closes his eyes, drawing in a deep breath through his nose before exhaling sharply. "I'm calm," he whispers, blinking his eyes open to look at Camille with a soft smile. "Promise."

"Good!" Camille smiles and gives his jaw a light smack. "I'm the one that should be nervous here," she says, slipping her hand down to her thigh, shoving it between her legs.

"Why?" Kendall asks, trying not to awkwardly stare at where her hand is.

Shrugging, Camille chews on her lower lip, smearing her lip gloss. "I don't know; maybe because I'm meeting the love of my best friend's life? And  _his_  friend."

"Best friend," Kendall corrects, biting back a laugh when Camille glares at him. "Sorry, sorry... go on."

"And I'm just nervous because of what you may have told him about me, and I want to live up to his expectations of me."

With a heavy sigh, Kendall leans his head against Camille's. "He's going to love you; him and Logan  _both_  will love you, don't worry. And I've only told him that you're pretty much amazing and it's nothing but the truth."

Camille shuffles through a few facial expressions before pulling a relaxed face. "Okay," she says after a beat, nodding her head before moving to play-bite the end of Kendall's nose. "I guess I can calm down, for you and your  _lover boy_."

"Cut that out," Kendall laughs, backing away when she goes to bite his nose. "And I bet you five bucks that you and Logan hit it off and end up making out on my couch by he end of the night."

"Oh, you  _bet_  me, huh?" Camille raises a brow and cocks her head, grinning. "Alright, you're on."

They shake on their bet and Kendall pokes Camille's thumb with his own, laughing when she initiates a thumb war and they start wrestling them together. She wins the first round but Kendall keeps badgering her to keep going, saying things like 'best two out of three' and 'three out of five' when she beats him again.

By the time they finish their twelfth battle, Kendall gives up and lets her win with a whopping nine to his measly three. They settle against the couch for a while before someone knocks on the door and Kendall nearly jumps off the couch when he hears the noise, heart racing in his chest. He steps over Camille's legs - which are stretched out onto the coffee table - and heads to the door, moving a hand through his hair nervously.

He sighs heavily and twists the doorknob, slinging the door open to reveal Carlos and Logan standing on the porch, both of them wearing a smile. Kendall's heart seems to calm down at the sight of Carlos and he smiles back, letting his eyes roam over each boy, noticing their outfits; Logan's wearing a pair of loose jeans and a black and red leather jacket with a black v-neck shirt underneath. Carlos, on the other hand, is wearing a pair of tight jeans and a blue shirt with a light gray jacket over top of that with the hood up over his head.

"Hey," Carlos says, holding out a bag to Kendall. "I brought food and a guest."

Kendall laughs and nods his head toward Logan. "I see that," he says, taking the bag from Carlos. "What's up, Logan? It's been a while."

"Not much, man. It's nice to see you again," Logan replies, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

"Come on in." Kendall moves out of the way and stands off to the side, watching Carlos and Logan walk through the door, Logan shutting it behind them. "Shoes off," he says, nodding pointedly to the floor.

"What?" Logan asks, looking from Kendall to Carlos.

Carlos laughs and nudges Logan in the ribs. "Just do it, house rules."

They slip their shoes off and then shrug out of their jackets, hanging them up on the rack as Kendall goes to put the bag of food in the kitchen. When he comes back, Carlos and Logan are standing in the doorway, Logan looking like a lost puppy and Carlos biting his lip like he's trying not to laugh at his best friend.

Shaking his head, Kendall goes toward them and wraps his arms around Carlos. "Come on, Camille's in the living room and she's dying to meet you both," he whispers as he leans down to kiss Carlos softly.

"Mm," Carlos hums when they ease apart and he smiles, nodding. "Come on, Logie."

The three of them move into the living room where Camille is sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels with her feet pressed against the edge of the coffee table and her knees bent. When she hears Kendall come in and clear his throat, she drops the remote to the cushion beside her and looks up with a smile, lifting her hand to wave at the boys.

"Hi, I'm Camille." She puts her hand down and stands, extending the same hand toward Carlos. "You must be Carlos and... Logan, right? I think Kendall said your name was Logan," she babbles nervously, smiling.

"Yeah, I'm Carlos and that  _is_  Logan." Laughing, Carlos takes Camille's hand and shakes it lightly. "And it's nice to meet you, Camille. Kendall's told me a lot about you."

"And he's told me all about you!" Camille giggles and drops her hand, turning her attention to Logan. "Hi, Logan," she says, holding her hand out for him to take.

Logan looks at her for a moment, eyes raking up and down her body before he takes her hand, shaking it slowly. "Hey, Camille. S'nice to meet you," he says, smiling brightly at her.

Kendall watches the scene and grins, knowing that he's going to earn five bucks by the midnight. "Alright," he says, moving his arm around Carlos' waist, pulling him close, "that's enough with the introductions. Now, who's hungry?"

"I am!" Carlos, Logan, and Camille all chorus together and all four of them laugh at the same time.

"Follow me." With his arm still around Carlos, Kendall leads them all to the kitchen and reluctantly moves away from his boyfriend to go to the fridge. "What do you guys want to drink?"

"Beer," Camille says, moving to the table with Logan, who says the same thing.

Kendall nods and opens the fridge, grabbing two beers. "Carlos?"

"Beer," Carlos answers, his voice right behind Kendall; he nearly jumps when he hears it.

"Four beers," Kendall mutters to himself, grabbing two more bottles with his other hand before straightening up. He hands three bottles to Carlos and moves past him, walking toward a cabinet near the sink before opening it and grabbing four plates, setting them on the counter for a moment to grab four forks. When he's all set, Kendall grabs everything and takes it to the table, setting it all down.

Camille makes a happy noise that sounds like a moan and everyone stops to stare at her. "What? It smells fantastic in here!"

"Those would be," Carlos starts, moving to the bag on the middle of the table, "the homemade enchiladas my mom made."

"Oh god, Kendall," Camille says, turning to look at him with a grin. "Marry this boy. Marry him right now and keep me stocked in enchiladas until I leave for Hollywood."

When Camille says 'marry this boy,' Kendall chokes on his beer and starts coughing, pounding a fist against the middle of his chest as he chokes. He sets his bottle down just as the coughing fit stops and he takes big gulps of air, sucking it into his lungs as quickly as he can.

"Dude, you okay?" It's Carlos' voice and Kendall nods, wheezing a bit as he tries to control his breathing. "Good," Carlos says, chuckling between words, "don't want you to die before you've tasted these."

"Don't want you dying at all," Logan chimes in, grabbing a plate from the stack. "Then Carlos would be miserable and I could never cheer him up. Do you really want to put that responsibility on my shoulders, Kendall?"

Biting his lip, Kendall looks at Logan and smiles, shaking his head. "No," he croaks, clearing his throat quickly before continuing, "I don't want to do that... and I don't want to die and leave Carlos alone at such a young age."

"Damn straight. I'm too young to be a widow." Carlos says this in a matter-of-fact voice and they all laugh.

"Actually," Camille starts, holding her plate out to Carlos as he puts food on it, "you would be a widower, not a widow. A widow is a woman whose spouse has died."

Kendall laughs and sits down beside Camille, grabbing a plate for himself. "He could be a widow if he wants to be, I'm sure he'd look hot in a dress," he says, grinning playfully at Carlos.

"You're the one that has the legs for it," Carlos replies, winking at Kendall.

"Now, I'd pay to see Kendall in a dress." As Logan talks, he moves his fork in the air and points at Kendall, smirking.

"I think I have a skirt that will fit you," Camille offers, grinning at Kendall as she grabs a fork.

Blushing, Kendall watches Carlos put enchiladas on his plate and smiles at him. "Only Carlos can see me in drag, thank you very much," he says, nodding his head as if to affirm that fact.

"I'm a lucky man." With a smile, Carlos grabs his own plate and sits next to Kendall, their knees brushing together when he sits down, sending a jolt up Kendall's spine.

"You two are so cute it makes me wanna vomit," Logan jokes, before cutting into his enchilada.

"I agree," Camille says, nodding as she turns her attention to her own food.

Soon after that, they fall into a comfortable silence that's broken by the occasional moan or hum of pleasure as they eat, most of the noises coming from Camille and Kendall. Carlos and Logan laugh at them and Carlos nudges his knee against Kendall's when he gets the chance, all four of them eating quietly and happily.

After eating two helpings each, the four of them head to the backyard with the rest of the beer and spread out on the grass near the pool. Camille and Logan sit next to each other and Carlos and Kendall sit in front of them, the pack of beer sitting between them.

"So, Hollywood," Logan says, turning to look at Camille with a smile. "Going out there to become a singer? Dancer? Actress?"

When Logan says 'actress,' Camille snaps her fingers and points at him. "That's the one," she says, laughing as she grabs a fresh beer. "But I guess I could be an actress that sings and dances as well."

"Do you sing and dance?" Carlos asks, reaching forward to grab a beer, twisting the cap off easily.

"I can do a little of both," Camille admits, shrugging her shoulders. "But I'm a better actress than anything, really. My drama teacher back in Connecticut told me that I was the best of the class and I had real talent."

Kendall smiles and leans against Carlos a little. "Well, when you become famous, don't forget the little people," he says, feeling Carlos' arm snake around his waist."

Camille scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, right! You'll be famous before me, mister 'I-can-sing-and-play-guitar-and-play-the-drums.' And don't forget your looks! You'll sell albums with that face  _alone_."

"He is a great singer," Logan says, nodding as he turns to Kendall, winking a bit. "And he can play guitar better than anyone I've ever met."

"Stop," Kendall says, dragging the word out like he's embarrassed and, yeah, maybe he is. A little.

Laughing, Carlos shakes his head and tips his bottle toward Logan. "He's right, Kendall," he says, licking his lips as he speaks, "you're an  _amazing_  singer and you can shred like nobody's business."

" _Shred_?" Camille repeats, snickering quietly.

"Hey, don't make fun of me." Carlos gives her a mock-glare and then grins. "Have you heard him play?"

"Only a little," she admits, taking a long sip from her beer. "And what I did hear was great, even if it was only scales."

"You remembered the term." Kendall smiles at Camille and laughs when she sticks her tongue out. "Besides, Logan can play the drums. Can't you?"

Logan shrugs a shoulder and ducks his head like he's blushing. "I'm not  _that_  good," he mumbles, picking at the grass.

"He's great," Carlos says, before taking a sip of his beer and nearly draining the entire bottle. "He's been playing since we were kids and I can't remember a time where he wasn't banging on something."

They all laugh when Carlos says 'banging' and Camille looks over at Logan, watching his fingers weave through the grass slowly before curling around it. Kendall watches her and smiles, leaning his head against Carlos' as the night grows dark around them.

"Well, I'd like to hear it sometime," Camille says, after a moment of silence, and Logan lifts his head, locking his gaze on hers, smiling at her.

"I think someone taped the party at Gustavo's. Or, well, they taped the show, anyway. I could get a hold of a tape and we could do this again sometime?" As Carlos speaks, he rubs his hand up and down Kendall's side slowly, dragging his t-shirt up his skin.

Camille doesn't take her eyes off Logan but nods at Carlos' suggestion. "That sounds good."

"Great," Logan agrees, his smile widening enough to show off his dimples.

"You two want some time alone?" Kendall asks, grinning when Camille turns to look at him, blinking slowly. "I mean, Carlos and I can go get in the pool and let you two talk for a while, if you want."

Biting the edge of her lip, Camille turns back to Logan and smiles. "What do you say? Wanna let them fool around in the pool while we have an adult conversation?"

"Sure." Logan laughs and then blinks, turning to look at Kendall and Carlos. "Just... don't make too much noise, okay? I don't wanna lose my dinner," he says, mumbling the last few words as he slips a hand onto his stomach.

"Shut up, asshole," Carlos says, laughing as he gets to his feet, holding his hand out to Kendall, who takes it and pulls himself up. "We're just going to  _swim_ , while you two have your 'adult' conversation."

Logan nods his head, eyeing Carlos with a skeptical look. "Uh-huh," he mutters, scooting closer to Camille to whisper something into her ear; she giggles when he's done and covers her mouth with one of her hands.

"You two have fun." Kendall smirks and pulls Carlos toward the pool, stopping near the edge. Once they're stopped, he takes his shirt off and tosses it a few feet away, listening to it land in the grass. After that, he slips out of his board shorts and throws them in the same direction, listening to his phone thump against the ground.

"Isn't that going to break it?" Carlos asks, as he gets out of his own clothing, stripping his shirt off before tossing it behind him. Kendall shrugs his shoulders and watches Carlos quietly, licking his lips as he rakes his eyes up and down his boyfriend's body slowly, moaning when Carlos' jeans get kicked away and he's left standing in a pair of faded purple boxers.

Snickering, Kendall moves a hand and tugs at the boxers. "You really like purple, huh?"

"Shut up, it's a nice colour." Carlos grins and moves toward Kendall like he's going to kiss him, but moves around him at the last second to jump into the pool. Water splashes up and hits Kendall's back, making him yelp loudly; he turns and jumps into the pool right after Carlos, swimming toward him.

"Come here," he says, laughing when Carlos evades him and swims to the other end of the pool.

Behind him, Kendall can hear Camille and Logan laughing and he turns to look at them, smiling when he sees that they're leaning toward each other a bit. He's so caught up in watching his friends interact that he doesn't hear Carlos swim up behind him and doesn't notice he's there until he jumps onto his back, dragging him under the water.

When they break the surface again, Kendall laughs and gasps loudly, feeling Carlos' body press against his, both arms wrapped around his neck. It's nice and Kendall smiles, thinking about how he can just be happy with Carlos without wondering when he's going to leave and when the next time they're going to be together is going to be.

"You little monkey," Kendall grumbles, moving his hands to the outside of Carlos' thighs when he wraps his legs around Kendall's waist.

"My mom used to call me that, when I was a kid... cause I was always climbing trees and climbing the cabinets to get to what I really wanted." Carlos laughs against Kendall's ear and he joins in, gripping his boyfriend's thighs. "They look like they're getting along," he whispers, leaning his chin against Kendall's shoulder as they bob up and down in the water.

Kendall smiles and nods his head. "Yeah," he agrees, rubbing Carlos' thigh with his thumb, "they really do, don't they?"

"Maybe they'll get together."

"Maybe," Kendall says, turning his head to kiss Carlos' temple, tasting chlorine on his lips.

With a smile, Carlos turns and catches Kendall's mouth in a small kiss, running a hand down the middle of his chest as their lips work together slowly. Just when Kendall moans, Carlos pulls away and disentangles his limbs before falling back into the water, floating on the surface.

Kendall turns around and sees Carlos' boxers clinging to his skin and, more specifically, his cock. It sends a shudder down his spine and he swims toward Carlos before ducking underneath him and disappearing for a second before coming up on the other side of him, laughing when he yelps.

"You and Logan are welcome to stay the night, if you want," Kendall says as he swims in the water beside Carlos, moving his arms and legs carefully. "Camille's probably going to stay, and I doubt that my mom will care, or even notice."

Humming, Carlos closes his eyes and continues to float. "Maybe. I did tell my mom that I might not be home tonight and she told me to be careful. Don't know in which way she meant that, but I intend to listen either way," he says, laughing quietly.

"So, you'll stay?"

"Yes, Kendall," Carlos answers, turning his head toward Kendall, smiling. "I'll stay if it'll make you happy."

Kendall bites his lip, feeling a familiar heat creep along his cheeks and down his neck, covering his upper body in warmth. "I'd like that," he says in a squeaky voice that makes Carlos laugh again.

"Hey guys!" Logan calls out from the edge of the pool; Carlos and Kendall turn to look at him, both of their eyebrows raised. "Mind if we join you?"

"Not at all!" Kendall calls back, motioning for them to come in.

Despite his better efforts, Kendall stares at Logan as he takes his clothes off, showing off a body that's similar in build to Carlos'. He can't help but look up and down his friend's body, biting his lip when Logan bends over to yank his jeans off his feet. When Logan's just down to his boxers, Kendall moves his gaze to Camille and notices that she's already stripped down to her bikini - she must always wear one, Kendall thinks - and he turns back to Carlos, who's still floating on his back with his eyes closed.

Logan and Camille jump in and make a big splash that causes Carlos to struggle in the water for a moment before he's vertical. He moves toward Logan and pushes him into the water by his shoulders, laughing until he feels Logan's arms wrap around his legs before he's pulled under as well.

Camille swims toward Kendall and they watch Carlos and Logan horse around for a while, pushing each other under the water as they call each other names. Whenever Logan pushes Carlos under, he makes a huge splash and Kendall and Camille get hit by it, which makes them both laugh.

After a while, Carlos and Logan stop and move toward Camille and Kendall, who are leaning against the edge of the pool with their backs toward the boys. When they get closer, Carlos slaps the water and splashes them, laughing loudly when Kendall turns around, eyes narrowing.

"Yes?" Carlos asks innocently, batting his eyelashes.

"You're going down, Garcia!" Kendall says as he pushes off the edge of the pool, lunging toward Carlos, who disappears into the water. He swims around and jumps up behind Kendall, who turns around and smacks his arm lightly, grinning when Carlos pouts and says 'ow.'

"That didn't hurt," Logan says, moving to lean next to Camille. "You're a big baby," he adds, sticking his tongue out as his best friend, who lifts his hand and flips him off.

Kendall laughs and wraps his arms around Carlos' neck, leaning in to kiss him slowly. "You're  _my_  big baby," he whispers when they ease away, biting his lip to keep from laughing at Carlos.

"At least someone sees the good in that." Carlos smiles and leans in to bite Kendall's jaw, dragging his teeth along the curve of it before moving to kiss his lips.

"Get a room!" Camille laughs and jumps on Logan's back when he moves in front of her, wrapping both arms around his neck.

"Why don't you two?" Kendall says as he turns to watch them move through the pool, laughing as he shakes his head at just how ridiculous they all must look at that moment. He doesn't care how silly or weird they look because he's happy for be around friends -  _real_ friends - and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

When Logan and Camille are at the other end of the pool, Camille calls out, "Maybe we don't want a room!"

"Yeah!" Logan yells, turning around to look at Kendall and Carlos, grinning. "What if we wanna publicly display our affection like you two assholes?"

This time, it's Kendall who flips Logan off and he grins when Logan acts offended. "We have our clothes on, if you haven't noticed," he says, moving his arms around Carlos, holding him close.

"Yeah, this time." Logan teases, giving his friends a playful wink.

"Hey, I wouldn't mind watching them get it on," Camille offers, resting her chin on Logan's shoulder again, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

A blush creeps over Kendall's face again and he swallows thickly, opening his mouth to speak but Carlos beats him to it.

"I don't think Kendall wants an audience," he says, moving a hand up and down Kendall's back before grazing it over the curve of his ass, giving it a light squeeze. "But, if you really wanna watch, I'm gonna have to charge you."

"How much?" Camille asks, and Logan turns to stare at her.

"Five bucks for a blowjob, ten for just sex, twenty for everything."

Camille screws her face up, pursing her lips as she thinks. "Too rich for my blood," she says, finally, and laughs before adding, "I'll just download porn off the internet.. and it's better because it's two girls."

Carlos and Logan both stare at Camille with the same fixed expression: their mouths open and their eyes wide. Meanwhile, Camille and Kendall laugh at both of them until they snap out of it and Logan's the first to speak, asking, "You're into girls?"

"Didn't Kendall tell you?" She asks, bouncing up and down on Logan's back; he shakes his head and Carlos mimics him, closing his mouth. "Oh, well... yeah, I'm into girls, but they're not the only flavor of Kool Aid I enjoy."

"So..." Logan hedges, raising a brow.

Laughing, Camille kisses him on the cheek. "So, I'd totally be all over you if you asked me out on a date... or even asked to feel me up," she says, laughing again when she pulls away.

"I'd take her up on that offer if I were you," Kendall offers, nodding his head toward Camille. "She once said it was rare to find a dick that she'd wanna jump on."

"I didn't say  _that!_ " Camille complains, turning red. "I said that, if the right guy came along, I wouldn't let the opportunity pass me by."

Logan looks like he's going to pass out and Kendall laughs.

"You alright?" He asks, biting his lip as he watches Logan's face lift, gaze locking on his.

"Yeah," Logan answers, nodding his head. "I'm fine, just don't know how to process this information," he says, laughing nervously.

"Just do what you did when I said I was into dick," Carlos suggests, moving away from Kendall to swim to the other end of the pool. He gets out once he's able and sits on the edge, keeping his legs in the water.

"Besides, I think I'd like going out with you," Camille chimes in, moving a hand to Logan's jaw, cupping it lightly.

"Yeah?" Logan asks, smiling when he feels Camille's hand against his face.

Smiling, Camille nods and laughs, patting his jaw like she did Kendall's. "Of course, silly. You're cute, funny, and extremely nice... that means you're boyfriend material. Or, casually-dating-until-I-find-a-cute-rocker-chick material."

Logan pales at this again and Camille frowns, moving away from his back before swimming in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck again. She leans in and kisses him slowly, moving a hand to his wet hair, tangling her fingers in it as Carlos and Kendall watch them, both grinning at the sight in front of them.

The kiss doesn't last long and Logan eases away, putting his hands on the small of Camille's back, smiling lazily at her for a moment, before asking, "Would you like to get dinner with me sometime?"

"I'd love to," Camille answers, leaning in to peck Logan's lips again.

"Okay, okay," Kendall says, laughing between words as he swims toward the edge of the pool, pulling himself up next to Carlos. "That's enough of that," he says, kicking his foot in the water, splashing some toward Logan and Camille.

The couple break apart and laugh, keeping their eyes on one another like they're the only ones around. It makes Kendall smile and he shakes his head, moving his hand to Carlos', lacing their fingers together. The world around them goes dark and quiet and time seems to stand still, like they could live in that moment forever and Kendall wishes that he could.

"We should go inside, before we freeze." Kendall looks at Carlos and bites his lip, smiling.

"Yeah, probably should." With a sigh, Carlos drops Kendall's hand and stands up, stretching and groaning as his joints pop. He straightens himself up and runs a hand through his damp hair, watching as Logan and Camille get out of the pool.

Kendall stands and moves to his pile of clothes, gathering them up in his arms before running toward the house with Carlos, Camille, and Logan following him. They get into the house and Kendall nearly slips on the tile, laughing before grabbing the counter to catch himself, turning to give his friends a look of warning.

They make it into the house unscathed and Kendall goes upstairs to grab towels for everyone, coming back down to find Camille and Logan huddled together, both of them shivering. He hands them two towels and then takes the others over to Carlos, handing one to him with a smile on his face.

"Thanks," Carlos says, smiling back as he takes the towel, before he starts drying himself off.

Kendall nods his head and starts doing the same, eventually wrapping the towel around his waist before looking up at Logan and Camille, who's wearing Logan's shirt. "You look good in it," he says, giving his friend a wink before motioning toward the living room. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"A horror movie!" Camille chimes in once she's done drying her hair, and Logan nods in agreement, his eyes on Camille.

"How's that sound?" Kendall asks Carlos, giving him a glance.

Chewing his lip, Carlos shrugs. "I'm not really into them," he confesses, playing with the edge of his towel.

"Aw, you're not afraid of them, are you?" Kendall's tone is more patronizing than he'd like and he backtracks, stumbling over his words when he realizes how bad that sounds. "I mean, that... God, that sounds bad; I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just... asked 'cause I'm curious, that's all."

Carlos laughs and shakes his head. "It's alright, Kendall... and I'm a little afraid of them."

"Has been since we were like, ten," Logan adds, looking up at Kendall and Carlos. "It's my fault, really," he adds, grinning sheepishly.

"Well, I'll hold you through the really scary parts, how's that sound?" Kendall asks, lifting a hand to touch Carlos' cheek, thumbing across his still-damp skin.

"Sounds great," Carlos answers, smiling brightly at Kendall before handing him his towel. "Where do you put these?"

Laughing, Kendall takes the towel and holds his hand out for Logan and Camille's. "In the laundry room, usually," he answers, nodding toward the living room. "Go pick out a movie - they're in the shelves beside the TV - and I'll be out there in a minute."

While his friends head toward the living room, Kendall turns to walk into the laundry room, tossing the wet towels in the washing machine. He decides to wait until later to do a load and heads to the living room, taking a seat next to Carlos on the floor, leaning back against the couch.

"What'd you pick?" Kendall asks, watching Camille put the DVD in the player.

"I picked Hostel," she answers, taking a spot next to Logan, who's laying on the floor on his side, with his elbow bent and his head cradled in his hand. Camille lays in front of him and presses her back against his chest, sighing contentedly.

Shaking his head, Kendall reaches behind him and grabs two pillows off the couch before tossing them to Camille and Logan, who yelp when the pillows hit them. "Sorry," Kendall mumbles, trying his best not to smirk when they turn to glare at him.

When everyone's situated, Kendall leans against Carlos a little and moves a hand to his thigh, rubbing it reassuringly as the movie starts. Carlos seems to relax for the first fifteen minutes but after that, he buries his face against Kendall's neck and whimpers, even when nothing bad is happening.

"Here," Kendall whispers, pushing the coffee table forward with his feet, "sit between my legs." He spreads them and drops his arm away from Carlos, nodding his head when his boyfriend looks at him with an expression that says  _'Are you sure?'_

After hesitating, Carlos moves between Kendall's legs and leans back against him, resting his head against his boyfriend's shoulder. When Kendall slips his arms around him, Carlos puts both hands on top of his and smiles, watching the movie quietly, focusing on the way Kendall's thumb feels as he brushes it against his stomach.

The movie experience isn't so bad and Carlos only jumps a handful of times, but Kendall is always there to hold him and comfort him; whispering things like, 'It's only a movie,' and 'Nothing's going to hurt you, I'm right here,' phrases that calm Carlos down almost immediately.

When the movie's over, Kendall turns the TV off and kisses the side of Carlos' head, looking at his friends on the floor in front of them. Logan's got his arm over Camille's side and they're cuddled together, both of them breathing in a way that makes Kendall think that they're asleep.

"I think they're out," he whispers, the words falling against Carlos' skin. "Wanna go upstairs and lay down?"

Carlos nods and moves away from Kendall's lap to stand. "Lemme make sure," he says, moving toward Logan and Camille before leaning down to look at them. When he sees that they're both asleep, he nods his head and looks back at Kendall with a smile.

"I should get them a blanket.." With a sigh, Kendall stands and groans quietly when his back pops. "I'll go grab one, and you go lay down in my bed, okay?"

"Alright." Carlos smiles more and leads Kendall to the stairs, taking his hand as they ascend to the second level of the house. When they get to the top of the staircase, Kendall lets go of Carlos' hand and goes down the hall to his mom's room, opening the door quietly before disappearing.

He goes inside and heads to her closet, opening the door quickly before bending down, blindly grabbing for a comforter. When he gets a hold of one, he pulls it out and shuts the door, turning on his heels to walk out of the room. After shutting the bedroom door, Kendall moves down the hall and glances into his room, spotting Carlos laying on his stomach on the middle of the bed.

Smiling, Kendall shakes his head and goes downstairs, carefully putting the blanket over Camille and Logan, before pushing the coffee table back into place. Once that's done, he goes to the kitchen and grabs a notepad from the fridge, snatching a pen out of a small basket next to it. He moves to the counter and jots down a quick note for his mother that explains who the two people in the living room are and why they're there.

Kendall signs the note with 'Love, Kendall' and puts it somewhere his mom will find it, before heading back upstairs. When he gets to his room, Kendall shuts the light off and closes the door, moving toward the bed quietly before laying down next to Carlos, who rolls onto his side.

"Is everything" - Carlos yawns loudly - "good downstairs?"

"Everything's fine," Kendall answers, smiling. "Go to bed, Litos."

Carlos nods and snuggles up to Kendall, laying his head against his chest. "Okay," he breathes, throwing a leg over one of Kendall's, tangling them together. "Goodnight."

"Night, Carlos." Kendall closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, wrapping his arms around Carlos, laying one hand on the back of his head. "I love you."

Carlos mumbles something in a sleepy voice that sounds like 'I love you too,' and Kendall smiles, listening to the sound of his breathing. He lets sleep wash over him and he keeps Carlos close to him throughout the night, waking several times to make sure that Carlos is still there, his heart pounding in his chest until he looks down and sees his boyfriend curled up against his side. After that, Kendall goes back to sleep and stays that way until morning.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: rimming, early morning sex, top!Carlos (sorry!)]

Around six the next morning, Carlos stirs in his sleep and jabs his knee against the back of Kendall's leg, startling him awake. He lays on the bed, biting his lip to keep from making any noises, feeling Carlos' arms wrap around his middle tightly as he presses his face between Kendall's shoulder with a sleepy, content sigh. Shaking his head, Kendall sighs and moves a hand to the back of Carlos', dragging his fingertips along the soft, tan skin slowly until his boyfriend stirs again, pressing his face against the nape of Kendall's neck.

The feeling of Carlos' breath on the back of his neck makes Kendall shudder, the hot air falling against his skin and making goosebumps prickle all along his forearms. He tries not to focus on the constant breathing - the huff, huff, inhale, long huff that Carlos gives out - but it soon proves to be difficult to just  _lay there_  and take it, without being turned on.

"Carlos.." Kendall's voice is a harsh whisper and he runs his fingers along Carlos' forearm, dragging the tips along his skin slowly. "Wake up, you're breathing on my neck," he says, a little louder, and nudges Carlos lightly for added effect.

It works and Carlos stirs again, nuzzling his face in Kendall's neck.

 _There you go_ , Kendall thinks, laughing quietly to himself as he turns over onto his side, pressing himself against Carlos so their chests are touching. In the early morning sunlight, Kendall watches Carlos' eyelashes twitch a few times before he blinks his eyes open sleepily, settling his gaze on Kendall.

"Morning," he whispers, yawning quietly. "What time is it?"

"A little after six," Kendall answers, smirking at just how cute Carlos is in the morning. "You can go back to sleep, if you want."

Carlos shakes his head but closes his eyes anyway, shifting closer to Kendall. "M'up now, migh' as well stay tha'way, right?" His voice is quiet and sleepy, taking on a childlike tone, and Kendall can't help but grin at the way he sounds, nodding slowly.

"Might as well," he agrees, moving his arms around Carlos carefully, moving a hand to the back of his head, fingers weaving through his messy hair. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great, as usual."

Kendall laughs and nods again. "I guessed that much, what with me waking up with your mouth plastered against the back of my neck... and that was  _after_  you kneed me in the leg."

"Oh," Carlos groans, burying his face in the crook of Kendall's neck, breathing in deeply. "Whoops," he mutters, laughing against his boyfriend's skin as he moves a hand between them, splaying it against Kendall's stomach.

"I wonder if my mom noticed Camille and Logan," Kendall mutters, thinking aloud as he plays with Carlos' hair, scratching his scalp lightly. "Wanna go downstairs and see if they're up?"

Shaking his head, Carlos yawns and mouths against Kendall's neck, "Logan's not up before seven in the morning."

"Not even with his job?" Carlos shakes his head again and nips Kendall's jaw lightly. "Hey, quit that," Kendall complains, only being half serious.

"Don't wanna," Carlos grumbles, biting Kendall a little harder. "S'the morning, I'll do what I want," he continues between bites, smirking whenever he hears Kendall groan. "And you  _like it_."

Kendall thinks about debating that fact but his reserve gets destroyed when he feels Carlos' hips grind against his own, their hard cocks sliding together easily. It's almost painful just how hard Kendall is and he pushes back against Carlos, groaning as he tips his head back, giving his boyfriend full access to his throat...

... Which is a  _bad_  idea because Carlos takes full advantage of Kendall being exposed and he bites every inch of his skin he can reach, teeth scraping along his pulse until he moves lower, shifting their bodies together in a way that makes Kendall's skin prickle again.

"Carlos," Kendall manages to moan out, the hand on the back of Carlos' head tightening in his hair, fingernails scratching along his scalp. A low hum vibrates against his skin and he arches his back, his body pressing tightly against Carlos' as he lets out a happy noise, letting his fingers smooth down the curve of Carlos' skull until they drop to the nape of his neck.

"Please," he whispers, voice breathless as he rocks against Carlos, aligning their hips perfectly.

Taking that as ' _okay, do whatever the hell you want because I'm dying here_ ,' Carlos twists his head around and kisses Kendall's shoulder lightly, moving his hand around his side, resting it above his hipbone lazily. He drags his thumb over the bone slowly, feeling the sharpness underneath the skin, and shudders, breathing heavily against Kendall's skin before kissing it again.

A surge of heat shoots up Kendall's spine and he whines, begging wordlessly for Carlos to keep going. He's begging for Carlos to kiss and bite and suck every inch of his skin; to use him however he wants, for  _whatever_  he wants. Kendall whines a few more times, combing his fingers through Carlos' hair quickly, his breath hitching in his throat when he feels teeth sink into his skin.

Biting is something that Kendall's always loved and it turns him on like no other, but when it's Carlos biting him? It's on a whole new level and the feeling is intensified with every bite and tug of Carlos' teeth on his skin, making his cock throb harder in his boxers.

Kendall tilts his head against Carlos' and whimpers. "Carlos," he says, voice soft and the words falling right there, along the shell of Carlos' ear.

"What, baby?" Carlos breathes, speaking the words against Kendall's skin, punctuating them with soft kisses.

 _God, again with that name_. This is Kendall's only coherent thought as he rocks against Carlos again, opening and closing his mouth like he's gasping for air before pursing his lips together tightly. He moans quietly and feels it vibrating against his lips, making him open them again before another noise spills out, falling against his boyfriend's ear.

"Tell me," Carlos encourages, turning to run his lips over Kendall's jaw; they're barely there, ghosting over his skin one second before they're gone, leaving him breathless and writhing.

"Want you," Kendall starts and, really, that's as far as he's gotten in the thought process.

Carlos laughs and kisses Kendall's jaw softly, lovingly. "Want me to what?"

Kendall wants to say everything; wants to tell Carlos he wants to do it all and he wants to spend the rest of the day in bed with him, exploring his body and doing things they've yet to do... but the words get caught in his throat. He opens his mouth and pushes a noise out that sounds like a croak, shutting his lips again until he's collected himself enough to actually articulate what, exactly, it is he wants from Carlos.

And the hesitation and the waiting doesn't seem to bother Carlos, because he just keeps touching Kendall in places, his fingers and lips light as feather as they move over his skin. It makes Kendall's skin break out in goosebumps again and he feels a fire creep along in the trail of Carlos' fingers, a burn that radiates to the pit of his stomach.

"God, I want you to fuck me. I wanna feel you inside of me, Carlos, please." The words come out so quickly that Kendall's not even sure he even  _spoke_ but, judging by the way Carlos gasps against his skin, he knows that he did. He blushes furiously and chews on his lower lip, waiting for a response - any response at all, honestly, he just wants to know that it's okay.

"You really want that?" Carlos says, after a beat.

Groaning, Kendall nods and screws his eyes shut. "Yeah," he sighs - huffs, really - as he moves his hand between Carlos' shoulders, fingers dancing over his skin slowly. "It's what I want."

The silence that follows is one that's not comfortable, but not completely awkward either and Kendall's not sure what to think; he's not even sure if he should say anything, not until Carlos shoves him onto his back, pinning him against the mattress. Kendall's eyes snap open and he blinks up at Carlos, noticing the look in his eye and, somehow, that makes him harder and he whines, arching off the bed.

"Get this off," Carlos mutters, moving his hands down Kendall's sides, stopping at his boxers, tugging at the fabric until the elastic snaps back against his hips.

"Yes sir," Kendall replies, smirking at the way Carlos growls -  _fucking growls_  - when he hears it. "What, does that get you all turned on?"

Carlos growls again and moves to the foot of the bed. "Shut up and get your boxers off," he says, his voice harsh and low as he watches Kendall push himself up onto his elbows.

Kendall complies and slips his boxers off, tossing them to the floor before settling back onto his elbows, legs spread as wide as they'll go. His cock is hard - throbbing - and curving up toward his stomach; he smirks when he sees Carlos' gaze move down, locking on him. "Like something you see?" Kendall teases, winking.

"Yeah," Carlos mumbles, letting his eyes rake up Kendall's body, settling on his face. "Have you ever had someone rim you?"

"I... what?" Lifting a brow, Kendall cocks his head to the side and stares at Carlos.

"And... I'll take that as a no." Carlos laughs and lifts a hand, sticking his finger out before making a circular motion, licking his lips slowly. "On your knees," he says, doing the hand motion again until Kendall gets it and actually scrambles to get on his hand and knees, sticking his ass out for Carlos.

When he's situated, Kendall looks over his shoulder and swallows hard, watching as Carlos gets closer, both of his hands going over Kendall's ass, spreading him slowly. And, Kendall's not an idiot; he  _knows_  what Carlos is going to do and his entire body shudders at the thought, eyes fluttering closed as he sucks in a breath, waiting for Carlos to start.

"Just relax," Carlos says, dropping down until he's right behind Kendall. "And if you want me to stop at anytime, just let me know."

"Okay." It's the only word Kendall can manage to squeak out and he nods his head after saying it, listening to Carlos laugh behind him; the noise calms him down and he breathes in deeply, waiting.

Carlos holds Kendall open and leans down, pressing the flat of his tongue against Kendall's entrance, smirking when he jumps at the touch. After giving him a moment to calm down again, Carlos presses his tongue against Kendall again and starts moving it up and down slowly, flicking the tip against his entrance when he comes in contact with it.

The whole time, Kendall writhes and moans, whimpering Carlos' name as quietly as possible, his skin feeling hot and clammy already. He opens his eyes after a few minutes and watches Carlos' head bob up and down, feeling his tongue press against him again before moving up the cleft of his ass; they lock eyes for a second and Carlos winks before dropping back down.

And,  _god_ , is Carlos talented with his tongue; the way he flicks it against his entrance and swirls it around the skin slowly, teasing and tasting him makes Kendall's cock throb with interest. He doesn't know how much he can take until he feels the tip of Carlos' tongue push inside of him, barely wiggling inside before pulling back and  _that_  almost sets Kendall off.

"Carlos... C-carlos.." Kendall moans, babbling Carlos' name over and over as he closes his eyes and drops his head toward the mattress, letting his chest dip down as well.

Behind him, Carlos hums and spreads his ass again, moving back as he does it before diving back in, licking Kendall's entrance with short, rough strokes. It drives Kendall insane and he starts moving his hips back and forth, not sure whether he's trying to rub his cock against the bed or push his ass back against Carlos' tongue for more.

Kendall opens his mouth to say something and, at that exact moment, Carlos' tongue presses against his entrance and he groans, all thoughts going out the window. He hears a laugh behind him and feels it vibrating against his skin, which makes him huff and fold his arms underneath his head, pressing his forehead against his forearm.

After one last lick, Carlos pulls away a little and spits on Kendall's entrance; it's a gross thing to do, yeah, but he's not thinking about it and, honestly, neither is Kendall. He feels the spit trail down his skin and he shudders, arching his back to stick his ass out for Carlos even more.

"God, your ass.." The words come out as a breath and Kendall whimpers, biting his lip. "Can't wait to fuck it," Carlos mumbles, moving his hand down Kendall's ass before pressing his middle finger against his entrance.

Pushing back against Carlos' hand, Kendall moans out, "Then hurry up and -  _oh god_  - do it."

"Impatient," Carlos hums, laughing when Kendall groans loudly, wiggling his ass a bit. "Alright, I'll hurry up." And, with that, Carlos pushes his finger in all the way and starts working it in and out at a pace that's slow enough to not hurt Kendall, but fast enough to make him feel good.

"Lube's in the nightstand," Kendall offers, feeling Carlos' finger pull out all the way before a second is pushed against his entrance. It burns, slightly, and he whimpers, the noise choking off when Carlos pushes both digits inside slowly and then it really starts to hurt. "Ow, ow,  _ow_.."

Carlos stops and pulls his fingers out, paling as panic starts to set in. "Oh god," he says, leaning down to kiss the middle of Kendall's back, mumbling against it, "I didn't hurt you that badly, did I? It's been a while since I've fucked anyone. God, Kendall, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Kendall laughs as he reaches back, touching Carlos' arm lightly. "It was just starting to hurt when you stopped, anyway. Just... get the lube from the nightstand and we'll start again?" As he talks, Kendall strokes Carlos' arm slowly and feels him breathing against his skin for a moment before it's gone, his arm moving out of Kendall's reach.

With a heavy sigh, Carlos moves to open the drawer on the nightstand, grabbing a condom and the bottle of lube before shutting it again. He settles behind Kendall and lays the condom down on the bed beside his leg, popping the bottle open quickly, pouring lube onto his fingers as he watches Kendall quietly, eyes roaming over his body.

"Ready?" Carlos asks, capping the bottle again before laying it down.

Kendall takes a deep breath and nods slowly, licking his lips. "Ready."

Carlos presses two fingers against Kendall's entrance and starts pushing them in carefully, like he's afraid to hurt him again and yeah, okay, he is. The thought of ever hurting Kendall - unintentionally or intentionally - scares the hell out of Carlos and, knowing that he hurt him even a little bit? Well, that makes him feel like an asshole and it makes him feel guiltier than sin.

This time, though, Carlos does go slow and he doesn't move until Kendall gives him the go-head, which he does with a moan or a whimper, accompanied by a thrust of his hips. When this happens, Carlos pushes his fingers in all the way and starts to separate them slowly, working Kendall open slowly until he groans and sighs, sounding frustrated.

"You're not going to hurt me."

Blinking, Carlos stares at Kendall and stills his fingers. "You're sure?" He asks, uncertain.

"Yes,  _god_ , just... just keep going; if it hurts, I'll let. you. know." Kendall punctuates the last three words with a grunt as he pushes his hips back against Carlos' hand, moaning when he starts working his fingers in and out harder, scissoring them more.

After a couple of minutes, Kendall moans out, "Okay, I'm... I'm ready."

"Alright.." Carlos bites his lip and pulls his fingers out before moving off the bed. He takes his boxers off and kicks them to the side, taking a seat behind Kendall again, immediately working to get the condom wrapper open, but his hands are shaking so badly that he drops it a few times. Sighing, he picks it up again and concentrates on tearing the plastic, pulling the condom out once he's finally gotten it open. He slides the latex over his cock and rolls it down all the way, making sure it's on well enough before pouring lube over it, stroking it in slowly.

When he's done, Carlos presses the head of his cock against Kendall's entrance and pushes in slowly, biting his lower lip even harder at the tight heat. It's an experience that Carlos hasn't felt in a while and he savors the feeling of Kendall's muscles wrapping around his cock, clenching around his length as he pushes in deeper and deeper until he's all the way in.

Carlos' hips are pressed tightly against Kendall's ass and he grips his boyfriend's narrow hips, fingertips digging into his skin. He gives himself a moment to adjust to everything - being on  _this_  end (no pun intended) of the situation and how tight Kendall is around him - before he starts to thrust in and out slowly, dragging his cock out of Kendall before pushing back in slowly.

Taking a deep breath, Kendall pushes himself up onto his hands and arches his back, dropping his head between his shoulders as Carlos thrusts in and out of him slowly, the hands on his hips squeezing whenever he pushes in. Old instincts find their way back and Kendall starts wondering why Carlos isn't pounding into him like he's impatient and waiting to get it over with and these thoughts go from his brain to his mouth.

"Why.." Kendall huffs, moaning when Carlos' hips snap against his ass. "Why aren't you -  _ngh_ \- going faster?"

The question throws Carlos off and he stills, his cock buried balls deep in Kendall. "Why would I go faster?" His voice is somewhat breathless and Kendall licks his lips, body shivering just how fucking hot Carlos sounds.

"Because..." Trailing off, Kendall bites his lip and looks over his shoulder at Carlos, his bangs falling into his eyes. "I dunno, 'cause it's what...  _he_  did?"

"Are you serious?" Carlos frowns and moves a hand up, gently pushing the hair out of Kendall's eyes. "I want to take my time, make sure you enjoy this as much as I have..."

Kendall blushes and closes his eyes for a moment, feeling Carlos' fingers trail down the side of his face. "I'm sorry," he mumbles, blinking his eyes open slowly, gaze fixating on his boyfriend. "I just... you know, old habits die hard, I guess."

"It's alright." Smiling, Carlos leans forward and presses a kiss against Kendall's shoulder, rotating his hips slowly as he whispers against Kendall's skin, "I'll go as slow or as fast as you want it. I promise."

Nodding, Kendall breathes deeply through his nose and moans in the back of his throat, turning his head around again before dropping it toward the bed. He exhales sharply and starts moving back against Carlos, fingers twisting in the sheets when he feels Carlos' cock slide out of him again.

Once his cock is all the way out, Carlos teases Kendall's entrance with the head before pushing back in quickly, bottoming out with a grunt. He huffs and gasps quietly as he pulls out again, feeling the muscles clench and relax around his cock, making Carlos moan Kendall's name as he moves a hand along his spine.

Having Carlos fuck him is like a dream and Kendall honestly can't believe that Carlos is real, what with the way he touches every inch of Kendall as he thrusts in and out, like he  _has_ to. When he pulls out, Carlos snaps his hips forward in a way that's not rough at all but actually enjoyable and Kendall pushes back against him, keening as quietly as possible, fearful of waking his mother up.

But being quiet is the last thing on Kendall's mind when Carlos starts thrusting in and out harder, his hips slamming against his ass quickly, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air. He moans loudly, flexing his fingers in the sheets underneath him, begging Carlos to go harder, to touch him, to do  _something_  to make him come.

"Ken...  _Kendall_ ," Carlos gasps, biting down on his lip to keep himself from moaning any louder. Sweat is pouring down his shoulders and he moves a hand around, dragging his fingertips down the middle of Kendall's stomach before touching his cock. The second there's contact, Kendall tips his head back again and starts working his hips back against Carlos' quickly.

"Yeah," Kendall moans, moving a hand to the headboard, wrapping his fingers around it tightly. "Fuck, yes, fuck me harder... like you - _fuck_  - mean it, Litos.."

Carlos grits his teeth together and clenches his eyes shut, obeying Kendall's request and fucking him harder, his cock sliding in and out of Kendall's ass quickly and easily. After a handful of thrusts, Carlos wraps his hand around Kendall's cock and starts stroking with jerky, messy movements that seem to be working for Kendall because he moans loudly.

Part of Carlos wants to tell him to be quiet, but his mind goes hazy when Kendall clenches around him. "Fuck, god...  _Kendall_ , you're so - oh  _Christ_  - tight.. Yeah, baby, move your hips - oh,  _fucking hell_. Just.. just like that, keep doing it, Kendall.. Getting me so close," he babbles, moaning in between words and gasping others out when Kendall fucks back against him, working his hips in a way that makes Carlos growl.

Swallowing hard, Kendall pulls himself up and holds onto the headboard, dropping his head down between his forearms, panting heavily. His whole body is sweaty and shaking, his orgasm fast approaching with each thrust of Carlos' hips and every stroke of his hand.

"I'm... I'm gonna.." Kendall moans, thrusting his hips against Carlos' hand quickly, feeling his grip tighten around his cock and that's really all he needs to come. When he does Kendall screws his eyes shut and sees white behind them, his entire body trembling as he comes on Carlos' hand and all over the sheet covering the mattress.

He pants Carlos' name and gasps a few curse words, throwing 'God' and 'Jesus' around in there a few times, as he tries not to let his body collapse onto the bed and the mess underneath him. Though his arms are shaking and threaten to give out on him, Kendall manages to hold himself up by the headboard, resting his forehead against the crook of his arm, huffing.

When Kendall comes, his muscles clench around Carlos' cock and he fucks him harder, driving into him with all he's got; he moves a hand to the back of Kendall's neck and squeezes it lightly - just enough to make him moan. Carlos knows that he's not going to last long but he drags it out anyway, waiting until Kendall's come down from his orgasm before releasing his own.

Carlos thrusts in and out of Kendall a few more times before he comes; he tips his head back and groans, stilling his hips against Kendall's ass as his orgasm hits him. The fingers around Kendall's neck grip once - or twice, Carlos isn't counting - before he slides his hand down, resting it on the small of his boyfriend's back.

"Fuck," Carlos huffs, letting his chin drop toward his chest again, licking his lips slowly. He's spent and tired and wants nothing more than to get back into bed and sleep the day away, but those thoughts quickly fade when he glances at the bedside clock. "Dude, it's almost... fuck, it's almost seven?"

Swallowing thickly, Kendall raises his head and looks at the clock, blinking in confusion. "Guess so," he says, huffing out something close to a chuckle. "What time do y'need to leave?"

"Not for a while," Carlos admits, shrugging as he pulls out of Kendall slowly, grunting the whole time. He sits back on his heels and sighs, taking the condom off with shaky hands. "What about you?"

"Same." Sighing, Kendall moves so he's laying on the other side of the bed, his knees bent slightly and his feet planted firmly on the mattress. "Shower?" He asks, crossing his arms behind his head as he looks at Carlos, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Looking up, Carlos grins and nods his head. "In a minute, gotta regain some energy first."

"Ha ha," Kendall replies, adding a real laugh as he settles his head in the crook of his elbow, smiling. "Great thing to wake up to, right?"

"What?"

"Morning sex," Kendall answers, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "Honestly, are you still asleep?" He teases, winking at Carlos, who sticks his tongue out.

"Not after that." Carlos licks his lips and sits down on the foot of the bed, stretching his legs out. "You've woken me up and I think I'm good for the rest of the day," he adds, smirking at Kendall.

Kendall nods his head and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Whatever you say, Garcia."

After a while, Carlos finally gets Kendall out of bed and into the shower, both of them keeping their hands to themselves for a while, at least until the water starts running cold. There are kisses throughout and Carlos even gives Kendall a few love bites along his shoulder before they get out, wrapping each other up into a towel before going back to Kendall's room.

They dry off quickly and Kendall gives Carlos a tank top to wear to work, knowing that he won't have time to drop Logan off  _and_  stop at his house before going to work. Carlos takes it after Kendall basically shoves it over his head and promises not to get grease on it, but Kendall shrugs and tells him not to worry about it.

"You sure?" Carlos asks, slipping the tank top over his head.

"Yep, you can have it; I've got plenty, anyway," Kendall replies, and it's the truth - his drawers are filled with ribbed tank tops.

Carlos nods and smiles, leaning up to kiss Kendall lightly. "Come on, let's eat before we have to leave," he whispers, the words falling against Kendall's lips.

"Too exhausted to eat." Kendall pouts and wraps his arm around Carlos' neck, resting a hand on the back of his head. "But, I would like some coffee," he says, grinning when he feels Carlos poke him in the ribs. "Ow, what was that for?"

"I dunno," Carlos says, shrugging as he moves away. "I just wanted to poke you in the ribs."

"Abusing me, cute." Winking, Kendall leans down and kisses Carlos again before pulling away to grab his work shirt off the floor, slipping it on when he straightens up.

Carlos pulls on his boxers and frowns, looking around for his clothes. "Where are the rest of them?"

"Huh?" Kendall asks, jumping a little when he pulls his khakis up.

"My clothes."

"Oh... probably downstairs."

Biting his lip, Carlos nods and moves toward the door, looking back at Kendall. "That outfit is ugly," he says, trying his best not to laugh until Kendall flips him off.

"And I won't be wearing it much longer." As he talks, Kendall grabs things from around the room and stuffs them into his pockets before coming up behind Carlos. "Come on, let's eat."

The two of them make their way down the hall and Carlos leads Kendall down the steps, glancing into the living room when they get closer to the bottom level. He frowns when he doesn't see Logan or Camille and starts panicking, thinking that Kendall's mom threw them out when she got home.

He's about to open his mouth when someone throws a pair of jeans at him. "What the.."

"Put your pants on," Logan says, holding a cup of coffee in his hand, grinning at Carlos and Kendall.

Carlos rolls his eyes and growls in Spanish under his breath, before yanking the denim on and moving out of the way so Kendall can move past him.

"Morning, Logan." Kendall grins at his friend and heads into the kitchen, spotting Camille at the table. "And good morning, Camille," he says, tipping his head to her.

After swallowing a bite of toast, Camille turns and smiles. "Good morning! You two are up late," she says, raising a brow at Kendall in his uniform. "Wow, that is.."

"Ugly," Kendall finishes for her, moving to the coffee pot. "I know."

"As long as you know." Camille shrugs and turns back to her food, taking a few bites before sipping her coffee, watching Logan and Carlos in the living room. "How'd you sleep?"

Kendall sets the pot back in place and adds creamer and sugar to his coffee. "Slept like a baby," he replies, smirking as he grabs a spoon, swirling it around the cup. "How about you two?"

"Slept just fine until your mom got home," she says, turning in her seat to watch Kendall. "She woke us up and said we'd probably be more comfortable in the guest room, so we moved there. She's really nice, your mom."

"She is very nice." Grabbing his cup, Kendall moves to the fridge and opens the door, pulling the milk out before pouring some into his coffee. "So, where is my mom?" He asks, after putting the milk back into the fridge.

Camille shrugs and turns back to her food, finishing the last few bites of scrambled eggs. "She's upstairs, I think? She said she'd be back down in a bit, after she made breakfast."

 _So, she probably didn't hear me and Carlos_ , Kendall thinks as he sits down, taking a sip of coffee.

After Kendall sets his coffee cup back down, Logan and Carlos come back in and Logan claps a hand on his shoulder in passing. "Your mom is an angel," he says, dropping his hand as he and Carlos move to the counter.

"I was just telling him that," Camille chimes in, smiling at Kendall before turning back to Logan.

"Isn't she, though?" Carlos grabs a cup from the cabinet and pours coffee into it, adding sugar and creamer into it before stirring it with the spoon Kendall left on the counter. "She's like, really nice and sweet and really fucking pretty. Now I know where Kendall gets his good looks from," he says, winking at Kendall as he comes to the table.

Kendall blushes and sinks down in his seat. "Well, thanks. She needs to be angel with all the shit she deals with, honestly."

"Yeah," Logan says as he pours milk into his coffee, "she was telling Camille and me about that. It's tough, dude, your parents getting a divorce."

"I'm alright with it." Shrugging, Kendall grabs his coffee and takes another sip. "So, you two had a good night?" He asks, looking between Logan and Camille, grinning at the way they blush and look at each other.

Biting his lip, Logan moves around and sits next to Camille. "Yeah, we had a good night. She's real cuddly and it was nice not to sleep alone for once," he says, smiling brightly at Camille whose cheeks turn pink.

"He's cuddly too!" She says, playfully punching Logan's shoulder.

Carlos and Kendall laugh and shake their heads; it's Kendall who speaks first. "Well, that's great. I'm glad you two are hitting it off," he says, looking at the pair over top of his coffee mug.

"Who knew that our meeting would spark two romances, Kendall?" Carlos asks before taking a long gulp of his coffee, wincing as he swallows. "Hot, hot...  _Motherfucker_  that is hot."

"Well no shit, dumbass," Logan mumbles, turning to smile innocently at Carlos. "We should get going though, Gustavo's got us pulling the engine out of some Chrysler today."

Sighing, Carlos nods and runs a hand through his damp hair. "Yeah, guess so," he sighs again, turning to look at Kendall, who's already leaning forward to kiss him. "I'll see you later?" Carlos asks, lips moving against Kendall's as he speaks.

"Of course." Smiling, Kendall eases away and motions for them to go. "Go, shoo; work on the cars and try not to get hurt."

"Yes mom," Logan and Carlos say at the same time, which causes them all to laugh in unison.

Logan stands up and leans down to kiss Camille before rounding the table, slapping Kendall on the shoulder again on his way out and Carlos follows suit not long after, waving at Kendall and Camille. When they're both gone, Kendall sighs and turns to look at Camille, who's chewing on her lower lip and smiling.

"What?" Kendall asks, quirking a brow.

"Logan is great," Camille answers, sighing in that 'I-have-a-school-girl-crush' sort of way.

"He is a great guy. I'm honestly glad that you two like each other," he says, grabbing his coffee again. "Want me to walk you home, or are you good on your own?"

Snorting, Camille stands up and trots over to Kendall's chair. "I'll be just fine," she says and leans down to wrap her arms around Kendall's neck, kissing the top of his head. "Have a good day at work, honey."

"Thanks," Kendall laughs, patting Camille's arm before it's gone. He watches her leave the kitchen and sighs, downing the rest of his coffee before standing up and moving to take the empty cup to the sink. He sets it among the rest of the dishes and grips the edge of the sink, hunching over it a bit as he sighs.

Kendall stays like that for a few moments, long after the door shuts and signals Camille's departure, and he jumps when he hears his mother come in. Straightening up, he turns to his mom and gives her a smile, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Morning," Jennifer says, smiling back.

"Good morning. Thanks for not kicking Logan and Camille out last night, and making them breakfast." Kendall's cheeks turn red as he speaks and he nibbles on the inside of his lip, kicking the tiles with his foot.

Waving her hand, Jennifer moves to the table and grabs the dirty dishes. "You're welcome," she says, moving toward the sink to set everything down. "So, did you all have a nice night?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers, nodding his head. "It was nice. Logan and Camille are this... I dunno, thing. A couple, I guess. Or, they will be, hopefully."

"They'll make a cute couple."

"Mm.." Humming, Kendall moves to lean against the counter in front of the coffee pot.

Jennifer sighs and turns to look at Kendall, both arms crossed over her chest. "There's something I need to tell you, and I guess now is about as good a time as any," she says, sighing quietly.

"Oh god, I'm not in trouble for having people over, am I?" Kendall asks, panic and worry rising to the surface.

"No, of course not," Jennifer says, laughing meekly. "Though, I would have liked a phone call or a text saying that you were having people over... but that's not what this is about." She pauses and sighs again, chewing on the edge of her lip nervously. "Your father and I are going to take a trip in a few weeks, and we won't be back until the week before you leave for Boston."

Kendall blinks and stares at his mom, eyebrows knitting together. "Oh...kay, why?"

"Because we want to work things out and we want to get away from everything that's around here, except for you.." Jennifer smiles and moves closer to Kendall, lifting a hand to touch his cheek. "We'd bring you with us, but it's for  _us_ , and you need to work."

"I understand," Kendall says, smiling softly. "Where are you guys going?"

"Your father is  _finally_  taking me to Paris." Jennifer laughs again and moves her hand away from Kendall's cheek. "And we're going a few more places, I'm not sure where."

Nodding, Kendall smiles wide and wraps his arms around his mother, hugging her. "I'm happy for you guys, I really am," he says and, surprisingly, it's not a lie.

Jennifer pats Kendall's back and smiles. "Good, I'm glad. Hopefully we'll have things worked out and we can be a proper family before you go off to school," she says, her voice getting soft and breaking.

"Aw, mom.."

"No, no, I'm fine." She waves a hand and smiles up at her son. "Now, go to work and I'll see you later, okay?"

Kendall nods again and leans down to hug his mom one more time, feeling her kiss his cheek before they ease apart. "I'll see you tonight," he says and his mother nods, before moving off to the living room.

He follows a moment later and goes up to his room to grab a pair of socks, pulling them on before making his way back down the stairs. When he gets to the door, Kendall looks back and sees his mom watching some romantic chick flick and he shakes his head, slipping his shoes on before heading out the front door.

Sucking in a deep breath, Kendall steps off the porch and walks toward his car, swinging his key ring around on his finger, listening to the keys jingle. When he's at his car, he opens the door and slides behind the wheel, shutting the door as he starts the engine. He puts his seat belt on and backs out, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel as he drives to work, in an amazing mood.

When Kendall gets to work, he doesn't see anyone he doesn't want to talk to and he clocks in quickly, before going to the store room quickly. He works quietly and occasionally says a few things to someone but other than that, Kendall has a quiet day at work and he leaves later in the evening feeling better than he did that morning.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: some arguing, vomit-inducing cuteness (maybe), and blowjobs!]

For the next few days, Kendall manages to keep his distance from James and Jo; he turns whenever he sees them at work and heads the other way, silently praying that they don't spot him and decide to follow. They never do and Kendall goes back to work, thinking about the way he's acting toward Jo and feeling guilty about it - after all, it's not  _his_  fault her heart got semi-broken. Right. It's not his fault that he stepped on her heart and ground it to a million pieces, not at all - or so that's what he's telling himself, anyway.

On Friday, Kendall hangs out in the break room, texting Carlos and smiling his stupid,  _'I'm hopelessly in love'_  smile when James comes in, hands curled into loose fists at his sides. Kendall doesn't notice him at first, what with his attention locked to the words on his screen, but when he hears the door slam, he looks up, gaze locking on James, who's standing a few feet away from the chair Kendall's currently occupying.

"Do you have a minute?" James' voice is tight and his eyes are scanning Kendall's face erratically, never staying in one place even for a second. "Or are you to good to even speak to me?"

 _Ouch_ , Kendall thinks as he slips his phone into his pocket, shrugging a shoulder. "I can spare a moment or two, yeah," he answers, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Thanks for your generosity," James mumbles, moving to fall into the chair next to Kendall, straddling it so that the back is pressing against his chest.

"Get it over with." Clenching his jaw, Kendall lolls his head to the side and stares at James, lifting his eyebrows.

James sighs and lifts a hand, carding it through his hair before resting it on the back of his head. "I'm sorry," he says, staring at Kendall as he drops his hand. "I was being an asshole the other day, and you don't deserve that."

"Wow.." Kendall whistles and shakes his head, laughing. "James Diamond is apologizing to  _me_! Did Hell freeze over? Have pigs spontaneously sprouted wings and started flying to get away from their owners when they hear the words 'bacon' and 'slaughterhouse' being thrown around?"

The look on James' face is one of hurt and Kendall thinks, for a split second, that maybe he should apologize for being a dick but he realizes that James deserves it. Hazel eyes meet his for a second and Kendall studies James' irises for a second, thinking about how many times he'd laid in bed, a hand on his dick and his eyes closed, thoughts completely absorbed in the colour of the other boy's eyes.

Kendall shakes his head and turns away, staring at the green tiles on the floor, toeing them with the top of his shoe, listening to James move around on the plastic chair.

"Things have changed," James says, voice cutting through the silence and Kendall's thoughts. "I've changed, you've changed, this whole fucking town has seemed to change... and I just want things to go back to the way they were," he adds, his voice dropping down a few decibels.

"Back to when?" Kendall asks, his voice as quiet as James'.

Shrugging, James folds his arms across the headrest of his chair. "I honestly don't know, Kendall."

"Just tell me a time you wish you could get back."

"I wish I could go back to when my dad was around and he still cared about me," James answers, resting his chin atop his forearm. "And when nothing mattered but playing hockey and trying to make him proud... Back when my mother wasn't a stuck up bitch that only cared about herself... and when she'd come to my games and scream my name, screaming _'That's my boy!'_  at the top of her lungs."

Despite himself, Kendall smiled as he listened to James.

"And I want to go back to before I met Mercedes... when you and I first met." Chewing on his lip, James looks at Kendall and then down at the floor, sighing heavily. "I always had a crush on you, I just didn't know what to do with it... and I guess denying it and treating you like shit was the only way I knew how to cope," he says, voice cracking in a few places.

Somehow, that admission pulls on Kendall's heartstrings and he sighs. "I'm sorry, James... for the other day. I was being a total dick to you and you don't completely deserve that," he says, turning to look at James, chewing on his lower lip.

"Right," James laughs, looking up at Kendall, his eyes rimmed with tears. "And I do deserve it, whether you think I do or not." With that, James gets up and pushes the chair to the wall as he steps forward, getting closer to Kendall. "I'll leave you alone now," he says, leaning down to catch Kendall's lips in a kiss.

It takes Kendall's brain a moment to click and when he realizes what's happening, he presses his palms flat against James' chest, shoving him back. "Dude, what the fuck?"

"I thought..." James licks his lips, teeth grazing over the bottom one slowly.

"You thought what? That I'd wanna kiss you and we could go back to fucking each other?" Kendall stands and shakes his head, clenching his jaw as he stares at James. "I'm  _with Carlos_  and I'm in love with him, don't you understand what it's like to be in love with someone?"

Silence... and then Kendall barks out a laugh.

"Oh, right," he says, shaking his head again as he continues, "I forgot that you don't know how to love anyone but yourself or hockey. Good luck finding someone that will put up with your vanity and your materialistic obsession."

"Kendall, wait.."

Glaring at James, Kendall shakes his head one last time, gritting his teeth together. "No, James. I'm done waiting. I waited so long for you to open up your eyes and see that we could have been good together, had you only pulled your head out of your ass long enough to see what you had in front of you."

James gapes at Kendall and swallows thickly, shaking his head; he opens his mouth to say something but, before he can force a word out, Kendall turns away and walks out of the room, letting the door slam behind him.

Once he's outside, Kendall leans back against the wall and takes a deep breath, clenching his fists before shoving them into his apron pocket, knuckles grazing over his phone. He lets his mind wander until he's thinking about Carlos and the date they're supposed to be going on later that night, feeling his nerves calm down.

Soon, Kendall goes back to work and avoids James whenever he sees him in the store room, even making a point to walk away out of the room when he comes toward him. No one notices the way he acts and if they do, they don't ask questions, which Kendall is thankful for; he doesn't want to explain anything to anyone and he definitely doesn't want to come up with a lie on the spot.

After a few more hours of working, Kendall finally clocks out and leaves work as quickly as possible, jumping into his car only seconds before pulling out of the parking lot, not wanting to risk seeing James again. He drives above the speed limit the entire way home and finally pulls into his driveway, leaving the car running for a moment as he sits behind the wheel, staring at it.

Kendall thinks about what happened and runs both hands over his face, sighing heavily into his palms before dropping them and turning the engine off. He steps out of the car and shoves both hands into his pockets, making his way to the porch quietly, listening to his own footsteps as he goes up the stairs. The door opens before he has a chance to wrap his hand around the knob and he blinks at his mother, who's standing in the doorway wearing her scrubs.

"You look like hell," she murmurs, stepping out of the way to let Kendall inside.

"Thanks," Kendall grumbles as he kicks his shoes off near the door and lifts a hand, scratching the top of his head. "Are you just leaving to go to work?" He asks, looking his mom up and down, noticing that she's already put her shoes on.

Jennifer nods her head and gives Kendall a smile. "I'm pulling more shifts before your father and I leave," she explains, grabbing her coat off the rack before pulling it own and flipping her hair out of the collar.

"Makes sense."

"I thought so too." Smiling, Jennifer tucks her hands into the pockets of her coat. "Are you alright, sweetheart? You don't look like you're feeling well," she points out, frowning slightly.

Blinking, Kendall shakes his head and scratches down the nape of his neck. "No, I'm fine," he says, smiling brightly at his mother. "Just kind of nervous, cause tonight's our first double date with Logan and Camille."

His mom smiles at him again and nods slowly. "Well, you all be careful, okay?"

"We will be," Kendall promises, dropping his hand to his side, hooking his thumb through a belt loop. "And you be careful at work; don't let anyone throw up on you, or try and attack you in some PCP-induced rage."

"I promise," Jennifer says, stifling a laugh. "I'll see you tomorrow," she adds, moving to give Kendall a hug.

Kendall wraps his arms around his mom and hugs her, even lets her kiss him on the cheek, before watching her leave the house. He stands in the doorway and waves, leaning his shoulder against the door jamb, fingers wiggling in the air until her car disappears down the street. When she's gone, Kendall moves inside and shuts the door, immediately moving upstairs to get ready for his date.

Once he's inside his room, Kendall tears his work shirt off and tosses it in the corner, listening to the fabric hit the wall before he's shimmying out of his khakis. He empties his pockets out and puts the contents on his bed, tossing the shorts in the same direction of his shirt.

With a heavy sigh, Kendall moves toward his closet, stepping over a pile of clothes to get there before opening the doors, surveying the clothes hanging up. He bites his lip thoughtfully and starts rifling through the clothing before deciding on a pair of tight, black jeans, a blue and white plaid shirt, and a gray t-shirt to go underneath that.

Kendall lays his clothes on the bed and moves to the dresser, opening a drawer to grab a pair of boxers before shutting it again. He slips the pair he's already wearing off and kicks them to the side, replacing the dirty pair with the clean pair, snapping the elastic against his hips as he moves back to the bed, looking at the clothes spread out in front of him.

He idly scratches his lower abdomen and chews on his lip before grabbing his jeans, slipping them on quickly and leaving them undone as he reaches down for his t-shirt. Pulling the fabric over his head, Kendall groans when he gets stuck and laughs at himself when he pulls his head through, smoothing a hand down the front slowly. Finally, he grabs the plaid shirt and tosses it over his shoulder as he grabs the rest of his things, shoving them into his pockets as he heads out into the hall.

As he makes his way to the stairs, Kendall does his jeans up and pops the button through the hole only seconds before going down the stairs. When he gets to the bottom, he pulls his plaid shirt on and rolls the sleeves up around his elbows, heading toward the door quickly. He stops to pull his shoes on - a plain, black pair of Vans - and grabs his keys before going out, locking the door behind him.

Kendall takes a deep breath of night air and heads to his car, unlocking it with the remote when he's only a few feet away. He slides inside and settles against the seat, checking his mirrors and adjusting things nervously, trying to give himself something to do before going to pick Carlos up. When everything is messed with and then put back into the proper order, Kendall starts the engine and backs out, heading down the street; he passes Camille's house and sees a car in the driveway, wondering if it's Logan.

Swallowing hard, Kendall looks at the road and drives carefully, stopping at the stop sign when prompted, before heading toward Carlos', heart pounding in his chest. He's not only nervous because this is their first official 'group date,' but he's also because he hasn't seen Carlos in days and that, somehow, messes him up and makes him think that Carlos will find something wrong with him.

By the time Kendall gets to Carlos' house, his nerves and anxiety are through the roof that he's almost chewed a hole in his bottom lip; he knows that Carlos will see the dried blood on his lip and get worried, which only adds insult to injury. Pushing everything down, Kendall knocks on the door and puts his hands in his pockets, playing with his phone as he waits for someone to answer.

Alex answers the door and beams up at Kendall, which calms him down.

"Hey, Alex," Kendall says, smiling at the little girl.

"Hi! Carlos is upstairs." Alex opens the door wider and Kendall steps inside, rolling his neck a little. "Mommy's in the kitchen, if you want to talk to her."

Kendall shakes his head and turns to Carlos' sister. "What, you think I wouldn't wanna hang out with you while I'm waiting for slowpoke Carlos to get ready?"

"Do you?" Alex asks, excited.

"Duh." Kendall laughs and kneels down so he's at eye-level with Alex. "Why else would I have come so early?"

Shrugging, Alex grins up at Kendall and motions toward the living room. "I was watching a movie," she announces as she runs past Kendall, leaving him alone in the foyer.

"What movie are you watching?" He asks, straightening up and turning around to follow Alex into the living room, hands resting easily at his sides now. When he gets into the other room, Kendall sits down on the arm of the couch and looks at the TV.

"Alice In Wonderland," Alex answers, laying on the couch underneath a blanket.

"Good movie," Kendall says, laughing when Alex hums in agreement. The two of them settle into a comfortable silence as they watch the movie and Kendall is so enthralled with what's happening, that he doesn't notice Carlos coming down the stairs until he hits Kendall on the back of the head. It's more of a love tap, but Kendall whines and turns around, pouting at Carlos. "What was that for?"

Carlos snorts and raises his eyebrows. "Alice In Wonderland, dude?"

"It's a good movie!" Kendall stands up and looks Carlos up and down slowly, biting his lip.

"What?" Carlos asks, shrugging into a purple jacket.

Shaking his head, Kendall bites his lip again and stares at Carlos' new haircut. "When'd you get your hair cut?"

"Today - and it's not a cut, it's a  _trim_ ," he corrects, grinning. "What are you staring at now?"

Kendall's eyes go down a little and settle on the rectangular, purple glasses sitting on Carlos' face. "Those," he answers, nodding pointedly at the glasses, smirking lightly. "I didn't know you wore glasses."

Grumbling, Carlos shrugs and tucks his hands into his hoodie pockets. "I wear them occasionally... and I wear contacts most of the time, but my eyes have been a little irritated, so... You know what? Shut up."

"Okay, I'll shut up.." Kendall laughs and moves toward Carlos, dipping down to kiss him lightly, shutting them both up. When they ease apart, Kendall smiles and moves a hand to Carlos' hip, slipping it underneath his jacket until his palm is pressed against the soft fabric of his boyfriend's t-shirt. "Ready to go?"

"Yep," Carlos says, smiling up at Kendall. "Are you?"

Kendall makes a face and nods, before turning away from Carlos to look at the couch. "Thanks for letting me watch your movie with you," he says, smiling at Alex when she turns to him. "Have a good night, Alex."

With a yawn, Alex nods her head and turns back to her movie. "Good night, Kendall," she answers, and he turns back to Carlos, raising a brow at the look on his boyfriend's face.

"What?" He asks, forehead furrowing.

"Nothing." Smirking, Carlos holds his hand out to Kendall. "Come on, we don't wanna be late."

"Right." Kendall slips his hand into Carlos' and links their fingers together, squeezing lightly. "So, what are we doing anyway? No one will tell me, and I didn't know how to dress." And judging by Carlos' casual outfit of a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a hoodie, Kendall would say that he's dressed perfectly.

Carlos leads Kendall to the door and laughs, shaking his head. "We're going to a movie," he starts, opening the door before letting Kendall go a head of him, continuing as he steps out behind him, "and then probably going out for something to eat. Unless you want it to be the other way around?"

"No, that's fine." With a smile, Kendall leads them to the car and walks Carlos around to the passenger side, opening the door for him. "Your chariot awaits, Mr. Garcia," he teases, winking at his boyfriend before pouting when Carlos hits him on the arm playfully.

"Thanks, Jeeves." After one last smack on the arm, Carlos slides into the car and watches as Kendall shuts his door before going around the front of the car. He gets into the driver's side and starts the engine, the steady purr filling the night air and making Carlos shiver. "This car is perfect," he murmurs, moving a hand over the dashboard delicately.

Kendall looks over at Carlos and smirks. "Don't let me forget to let Logan drive it one day, okay?"

"You're gonna trust him behind the wheel of  _this_?" Carlos asks, disbelieving.

"Why not?"

Shrugging, Carlos settles back against the seat. "I was kidding; Logan will love driving this thing, honestly. I know I did that  _one time_  I drove it," Carlos says, grinning when Kendall rolls his eyes and snorts.

After another moment, Kendall backs out of the driveway and starts heading toward the movie theater, settling his hand on the console between them, his palm facing the roof in an open invitation to Carlos. It takes him a second to understand but when he does, Carlos slips his hand into Kendall's and slots their fingers together, giving his boyfriend's hand a light squeeze as he drives.

The ride is quiet and Kendall's honestly okay with that; the silences between him and Carlos are a long shot from the awkward moments he had to endure with James as he struggled to find something to talk about, anything to fill the void. With Carlos, it's different and Kendall knows that he doesn't have to say anything and that he doesn't have to make any noise. He can just be happy, sitting in a car with Carlos, listening to the sounds of his breathing and the noises of life around them.

It also doesn't take them long to get to their destination and Kendall pulls into the movie theater's parking lot quickly, pulling into a spot near the entrance before shutting the car off. He gives Carlos' hand a squeeze and leans over to kiss him softly, licking his lower lip before pulling away, smirking.

"Are Logan and Camille here yet?" Kendall asks, looking around the parking lot, frowning.

Carlos sits up and looks out the window, nodding. "They just pulled in," he says, nodding at Kendall to look out his window when a dark car pulls up beside them. Kendall obeys, of course, and smiles brightly when he sees his friends emerge from the vehicle.

Reluctantly, Kendall drops his hand away from Carlos and removes the keys from the ignition. "Come on," he says as he opens his door and steps out, looking over top of the car at Camille and Logan, who are leaning against the driver's side of Logan's car. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, Kendall." Logan smiles brightly when he greets Kendall, flashing his dimples. "You're looking good," he adds, nodding his head toward Kendall's chest, and he smiles, nodding slowly.

"Thanks," he says, laughing quietly as he looks at Camille and Logan before grinning. "You two look pretty good yourselves."

When he's out of the car, Carlos clears his throat and raises a brow. "What about me?"

Camille squeals when she sees Carlos and the two of them hug. "You look fantastic! And you wear glasses!"

"Yep," Carlos says, laughing when he pulls away from Camille, shooting a glance at Kendall, who's walking around the front of his car with his hands in his back pockets. "And I got my hair trimmed," he adds, lifting a hand to touch his hair, which looks thinner and softer to Kendall.

"Looks good." Camille smiles and turns to Kendall, bridging the gap between them to wrap her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. "How have you been?"

Chuckling, Kendall hugs Camille back and shrugs. "Same old same old; though, you have talked to me earlier today, don't you remember?"

"I know, but I didn't know if something happened to ruin your good mood or not." She pulls away and moves back toward Logan, allowing him to slip an arm around her waist. "So, what are we going to see?"

In sync, all three boys shout "The Avengers!" and end up laughing together, while Camille stands off to the side, giving them a look of judgment but she doesn't disagree, and Kendall and Logan go to grab the tickets for all of them.

On their way to the booth, Kendall nudges Logan and laughs. "So, how are you two?"

"We're good," Logan admits, glancing over his shoulder at Camille and Carlos, smiling. "She's like, perfect, you know?" Kendall nods and smiles, thinking the same think about Carlos. "Thanks for introducing us, man," Logan says, clapping a hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"That's what friends are for, right?"

Logan nods and smiles. "How about you and Carlos? Things still perfect and vomit-inducingly cute with you two?"

"Yeah, things are great. We talk every night and we text during the day when we can," Kendall answers, taking a place in line for tickets. "Oh, I forgot to tell you guys," he says, laughing as he turns to look at Logan, his face serious. "My parents are going away and I'm going to be alone for a few weeks."

"That's great! Does that mean house party at the Knight house?"

Rolling his eyes, Kendall nods and laughs again. "Yeah, and it also means that you and Carlos can stay over whenever you want. That way, you'll be closer to Camille and you won't have to drive so far to come see her," he explains, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Does Carlos know yet?" Logan asks, stepping forward when the line moves.

"Not yet. I was going to tell him tonight." Kendall blushes and bites his lip, chuckling around it.

Logan purses his lips and nods slowly. "I think it's a great idea, to have one last shindig before the summer's over."

"That's what I was thinking..." Kendall trails off and bites down on his lip harder, moving as the line does until he's next. He asks for two tickets to The Avengers and pays before grabbing the tickets and moving to stand off to the side while Logan gets his. Once they've got them, they head over to where Carlos and Camille are talking and Kendall slips an arm across Carlos' shoulders.

"Took you long enough," Carlos teases, settling his head against Kendall's shoulder.

Snoring, Kendall turns and kisses Carlos' head, mumbling against it, "That's mean, Garcia."

"I'm sorry baby." Pouting, Carlos turns and leans up, kissing Kendall softly. When he pulls away, he smiles and wraps his arm around Kendall's waist, pulling him close. "Let's go inside, huh?"

"Yeah!" Logan says, taking Camille's hand. "Gonna get to see this movie for the fifth time!"

Camille blinks and stares at Logan with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Carlos interjects before Logan can answer. "We've seen this movie five times with each other. It's a great movie," he adds, smiling at Camille, even when she rolls her eyes.

"Well," Kendall says as he they move toward the doors, "this will be my first time seeing it. Can't really come see it when I work all the time and I've got a boyfriend that's attached to my hip."

Carlos bumps his hip against Kendall's and laughs. "You love it," he says, moving through the door with Camille when Logan and Kendall hold the doors open for them.

"I do," Kendall agrees, moving behind Carlos, wrapping both arms around him.

The four of them go to the concession stand and Kendall lets Carlos order for them; Logan does the same with Camille and, five minutes later, the group is ushered toward the theater playing their movie. On the walk down the hall, Carlos wraps his hand around Kendall's and squeezes, smiling when he hears his boyfriend make a soft, happy sound in the back of his throat.

When they get to the right theater, Logan and Camille lead the way to the last row of seats at the top of the theater and Kendall and Carlos follow closely behind, their fingers tangled lazily together. They sit together and leave a seat empty between them for no reason in particular, and Kendall settles in his seat, putting his feet up on the back of the one in front of him.

"Really?" Logan laughs, staring at Kendall's legs.

"What?" Blinking, Kendall turns to look at Logan, furrowing a brow. "We're going to be the only ones up here, so why can't I get a little comfortable?"

Shaking his head, Logan shrugs and sinks down into his seat, skimming a few pieces of popcorn off the top of the bucket on his lap. Soon, he puts his legs up in the same position as Kendall's and he glares at his friend when he snickers, even going as far as throwing a piece of popcorn in his general direction.

"Boys, stop it." Camille says, smacking Logan lightly on the arm until he turns to look at her.

"Sorry," he says, leaning in to kiss her cheek lightly. "I'll be good."

Kendall chuckles and turns to Carlos, winking playfully. "So, is this movie really good?" He asks, taking a few pieces of popcorn before tossing them into his mouth.

"It's great," Carlos answers, leaning into Kendall as much as he can with the arm rest between them.

"That's good." Turning, Kendall looks at the arm rest and moves his drink away from it, setting it in the empty one beside him. "Put this up," he says, nudging the divider with his elbow.

Carlos moves it and slides over until his body is pressed against Kendall's side. "Much better," he sighs, shifting when he feels Kendall's arm wrap around his shoulders.

People start flooding in and the group talks among themselves until the lights dim and the previews start to play. As he watches the screen, Kendall idly strokes Carlos' shoulder and eats popcorn, laughing at a few of the previews, but mostly staying quiet until the movie starts.

When it does start, Kendall puts his legs down and lays them on the arm rest of the seat in front of him so that they're not obstructing Carlos' view. In thanks for the gesture, Carlos leans up and kisses the inside of Kendall's jaw, breathing lightly against his skin before pulling away, dropping his head back onto Kendall's shoulder.

Smiling, Kendall lays his head against Carlos' and pays attention to the movie, his fingers pressing against Carlos' shoulder whenever there's a loud noise. The movie plays and Kendall laughs when he thinks it's appropriate; gasps when he sees something that's worthy of a gasp; and groans whenever he sees Hawkeye or Captain America on screen, trying to keep the noise quiet so no one else can hear it.

By the end of the movie, Kendall and Carlos have demolished an entire bucket of popcorn between the two of them and two boxes of M&M's. Logan and Camille have done nearly the same, but Logan kept a box of Mike & Ikes so that Camille could have them later, blushing hard when he explained it to Kendall.

When they get out to the parking lot, Carlos leans into Kendall and sighs heavily. "Are you guys hungry after eating all that food?"

Logan and Kendall share a look and shrug their shoulders while Camille says, "I'm still hungry."

"Me too," Kendall says, nudging Carlos lightly.

"And me."

Carlos nods his head and nuzzles Kendall's chest. "Just asking, cause I don't think I'll be able to eat anything after all the popcorn and junk I had in there," he says - mumbles, really - against the fabric of Kendall's shirt.

"Where do you guys wanna go?" Kendall asks, stopping in near their cars.

Shrugging, Logan slings an arm around Camille's shoulders. "Anywhere's good with me," he says, and Camille nods her head in agreement before laying it in the crook of Logan's neck.

"There's a diner not too far from here, they have pretty good food. Open late." Kendall looks down at Carlos just in time to see him nod, laughing as he leans down to kiss the top of his head, before turning to look at Logan and Camille. "I'll lead, you follow?"

"Sure thing." Logan grins and pulls Camille toward the car, going around to open the passenger side door for her and Kendall follows suit, doing the same thing for Carlos.

He shuts the door and goes around to the driver's side, slipping in behind the wheel before starting the engine and backing out of the parking spot. After putting the car in drive, Kendall heads out of the lot and onto the road, looking in the rear view to make sure that Logan's following him.

The drive to the diner is quiet and Kendall looks over to make sure that Carlos isn't asleep, smiling when he sees that his boyfriend is looking at him, a lazy smile on his face.

"What?" Kendall asks when they're a few miles away from the diner.

"Nothing, I just like looking at you," Carlos answer, the smile on his face growing. "You're gorgeous, you know that?" Kendall snorts in response and rolls his eyes. "It's true," Carlos pushes, moving a hand to Kendall's lap, rubbing his thigh innocently.

Kendall sighs and nods his head slowly, relaxing his grip on the steering wheel. "Thank you," he says, glancing at Carlos with a smile. "So are you."

The rest of the way to the diner, Carlos is quiet; he rubs Kendall's leg slowly and watches him, his breath even and slow, a constant rhythm that Kendall listens to as he drives. When they finally get to the diner, Kendall pulls in and parks, waiting until Logan pulls up next to him to get out reluctantly.

When he's out of the car, Kendall goes around and opens the door for Carlos, kissing him the second he's out, smiling against his lips. They move away and stand in front of Logan's car, hands clasped together between them, eyes on their friends as they get out and move to join them.

The group walks into the diner and Kendall leads them to a booth in the back, away from all the truck drivers and late-night people who have come to eat greasy diner food. Camille and Logan sit on one side of the booth and Kendall slides in beside Carlos, folding his hands on the top of the table, feeling a hand slide along the back of one of his own.

"This was nice," Camille says, leaning into Logan a bit, who nods his head in agreement, smiling at his friends.

"It was." Kendall turns to look at Carlos and makes a face at him, the two of them laughing. "We'll have to do it again soon," he says, turning back to look at Logan and Camille, who look comfortable leaning against one another.

Not five minutes after sitting down, a waitress comes to their table and smiles brightly at them, pulling a pad of paper from her apron and a pencil from behind her ear. Camille and Logan perk up when she starts talking, telling them her name - Rachel - before asking if they'd like anything to drink.

Carlos orders a Sprite, Logan orders a Coke, Camille gets water, and Kendall gets a vanilla/chocolate milkshake, which makes his friends turn and glare at him when the waitress walks away.

"What? I like milkshakes, sue me." Kendall shrugs and grins, moving a hand to Carlos'.

"Yeah, but don't you think you should get something to drink, that's not ice-creamy?" Carlos asks, leaning his head against Kendall's shoulder a bit, yawning.

Shaking his head, Kendall laces their fingers together. "Nope; it's what I get whenever I come here, so I figure, why break tradition?"

"You're weird," Camille says, laughing quietly.

"Definitely," Logan agrees, giving Kendall a playful wink. "But, why mix chocolate and vanilla?"

Kendall smirks and raises a brow, shrugging again. "I like them both, they're great combined, and they mix them for me, so... I dunno, I guess that's about it."

The group laughs and Carlos, Camille, and Logan shake their heads at Kendall, who beams proudly and holds Carlos hand, brushing their thumbs together until their waitress comes back. She sets a glass down in front of everyone and they all thank her before taking a sip from their drinks. When they set their glasses down again, Rachel smiles and asks if they're ready to order.

Carlos, Logan, and Camille look at their menus but Kendall turns to the waitress. "I'll have bacon cheeseburger, well done, with extra cheese, lettuce, tomato, and curly fries, please."

Rachel writes his order down and turns to Camille. "I'll have... the blueberry pancakes with sausage and a side of scrambled eggs," she says, handing her menu to Rachel at the same time Kendall does.

"And I'll have the strawberry french toast, with bacon and scrambled eggs," Logan says, handing his menu to the waitress, who finally turns to Carlos, smiling brightly.

"And what about you, hon?"

Pursing his lips together, Carlos scans the menu one last time. "I'll take the breakfast burrito, with extra bacon on the side, and lots of cheese," he says, looking up at the waitress with a smile as he hands his menu to her once she's done scribbling his order down. "Thanks."

They all watch as Rachel walks away and Kendall turns to his milkshake, taking a long sip.

"Can I have some?" Carlos asks, raising a brow, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips.

"Sure." Kendall grins and hands his glass to Carlos, who takes a sip through the straw before screwing his face up, handing it back to Kendall. "What's wrong?"

"Brain freeze," he mumbles, moving a hand to his temple.

The rest of them try not to laugh and fail miserably, each of them giggling until Carlos glares at them, eyes narrowed into slits. "That's fine," he says, leaning back against the seat. "I'll laugh if you guys burn yourselves on your food, watch."

Kendall leans over and kisses Carlos' cheek lightly. "Aw, baby, lighten up," he whispers, snaking a hand underneath the table, laying it on the inside of Carlos' leg. "We weren't laughing with you."

"Yes we were," Logan says, snickering until Camille jabs him in the ribs, trying to contain her own giggles.

"Sorry, Carlos." Camille pouts a little and Carlos rolls his eyes, smirking.

"It's fine," he says, moving his hand to Kendall's, wrapping his fingers around his boyfriend's.

After that, they fall into a conversation about school and work and how quickly the summer's gone by and no one (Camille) brings up the fact that Kendall's going out of state to school. When Camille talks about her senior year of high school, Kendall thinks about Boston and how he needs to tell Carlos about it as soon as possible, instead of putting it off until the last minute. Maybe, he thinks, they can work something out in the time they have left and they can make the long distance thing work.

Maybe.

Rachel comes back after a while and sets a plate down in front of each of them, smiling at the group and telling them to enjoy their meals and that, if they needed anything, they could call her and she'll be right over. After saying thank you and watching her leave, they all dig into their food and Carlos grabs a fry off of Kendall's plate, popping it into his mouth before his boyfriend can complain.

It's comfortable and enjoyable, being out together and eating in a homey diner setting and Kendall suddenly realizes that he's going to miss this. He realizes that while he's off at his first year of college, Logan, Camille, and Carlos are probably going to keep the tradition alive, a tradition he'll most likely be cut out of when he comes back home for the holidays.

Thinking about everything and realizing how real it is only makes Kendall dread the fall; he doesn't want to lose Carlos or Logan or Camille, though he knows Camille's stuck with him for life. He doesn't allow himself to panic in the middle of the diner, so he pushes the thoughts aside and asks everyone how their food is.

Logan and Camille answer with mumbled words and grins; Carlos nods and tells him it's good, that they'll have to come to the diner more often and he gives Kendall a smile that makes his heart shatter.

Kendall realizes, a little too late, that he can't do this; he can't go off to college and leave the people he loves behind, especially when he's finally found someone that makes him happy. He thinks about asking Carlos to come with him to Boston, to rent an apartment with him and get a job and be happy, but then he thinks about Carlos' family and guilt sets in.

Trying hard to keep his mind on the present and the  _now_ , Kendall continues to eat, enjoying every bite of his burger until it's all gone, leaving his fries. He picks at them slowly, listening to the conversation around him and even throwing a comment in when prompted but, for the most part, he stays quiet and eats slowly, drinking his milkshake until it's all gone.

When they're done, Kendall pays for his food and Carlos', throwing money down onto the table and leaving a big tip for Rachel. He stands up after paying and slips his wallet back into his pocket before stretching, groaning as the joints and muscles in his back pop and stretch with his movement. Straightening up, Kendall smiles at Carlos and holds his hand out, feeling his boyfriend's skin slide against his own, until their fingers are laced together.

"Am I going home tonight, or are we going to your place?" Carlos asks when they're outside and out of earshot of Camille and Logan, who are a few feet behind them, laughing at something one of them said.

Kendall stops and takes a deep breath, smiling at Carlos. "Come over to my place," he says, gliding his thumb across the back of Caros'. "My mom's at work, pulling an all night shift, and we'll have the place to ourselves."

"What about Camille and Logan?"

"They don't wanna hang out with us anymore," Kendall says, laughing as he nods toward Camille and Logan, who are leaning against Logan's car, kissing as they hands roam every where.

Nodding, Carlos laughs and leans into Kendall. "I guess so," he says, yawning quietly. "And I am tired.."

"Me too," Kendall lies, leaning his chin against the top of Carlos' head. "Hey, you guys? Can you stop kissing for two seconds? Yeah, that's nice, Logan; flip me off when I'm trying to tell you something! Thank you, Camille, he was being rude with that... We're gonna head to my place now, but we'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course!" Logan calls out, waving to Carlos and Kendall before going back to kissing Camille.

Kendall moves toward his car with Carlos and opens the passenger side door, watching his boyfriend sit down before shutting the door behind him. Huffing, Kendall moves to the driver's side and slides in, glancing at Carlos' window to watch Logan and Camille get into the other car.

Turning the engine on, Kendall settles back and puts the car in reverse, pulling out of the spot and eventually out of the parking lot, getting onto the main road. For the first few minutes, everything is quiet and Kendall is sure that Carlos is asleep, until he steals a glance at his boyfriend and sees him staring out the window, rolling his thumbs together on his lap.

"You okay?" Kendall asks, moving a hand to Carlos' leg, rubbing it slowly as he drives.

"Hmm?" Carlos hums, turning his head to look at Kendall, blinking. "I'm fine; are you okay?"

Biting his lip, Kendall shrugs and keeps rubbing his boyfriend's leg. "We'll talk about it when we get to my place," he says and, surprisingly, Carlos lets it drop without protesting.

They drive in silence and Kendall keeps looking over at Carlos, watching him stare out the window before turning his attention back to the road. When they get to his house, Kendall pulls into the driveway and parks, shutting the car off before retrieving the keys. He gets out of the car and goes around to open the door for Carlos, wrapping both arms around him and kissing the top of his head once he's out.

He leads Carlos to the door, unlocking and pushing it open before stepping inside, kicking his shoes off at the door before peeling his plaid shirt off. Carlos shuts the door behind them and toes his own shoes off beside Kendall's, removing his jacket before hanging it up on the rack.

"Upstairs?" Kendall asks, holding a hand out to Carlos, wiggling his fingers in invitation.

Carlos doesn't say anything, just takes Kendall's hand and lets himself be led up the staircase and to Kendall's room, immediately dropping his hand to take his shirt off, pulling it carefully over his head so he doesn't knock his glasses off. Once the fabric is removed, Carlos tosses it to the floor and starts working on his jeans, pushing them down and kicking them away; he takes his glasses off next and sets them on the nightstand, watching Kendall take his clothes off and toss them away just like he had.

Once they're both down to their boxers, Kendall sits on the bed and motions for Carlos to join him, his arms spread wide until his boyfriend is sitting down, then he wraps them around Carlos' body, holding him close. They sit like this for a few moments and Kendall sighs heavily, moving a hand up and down Carlos' arm before pulling away.

"I need to tell you something," he says, stilling his hand on Carlos' bicep.

"Okay." Carlos nods and sits up, crossing his legs.

Kendall mimics his actions and sighs again, running a hand through his hair. "I told you I was going to school, right?" Carlos nods and raises a brow, staring at Kendall intently. "But I never told you  _where_  I was going, because I didn't think that it mattered... until now."

"What, are you going overseas for school?" Carlos asks, smirking.

"No, not overseas... but to Boston."

Carlos' lips part into an 'o' and he nods his head again, slower this time, as he presses his lips together tightly, staring at Kendall in silence.

"Say something, please.." Kendall pleads, swallowing thickly.

"Boston," Carlos parrots and it's Kendall's turn to nod. "That's... far way," he mutters, huffing out a quiet laugh.

Kendall swallows again and licks his lips. "I know, it's some fourteen hundred miles away, but... I'll be home for every holiday," he says, like that's going to take the look of heartbreak off Carlos' face.

"When do you leave again?"

"In about a month," Kendall admits, swallowing again. "But, we can try and make it work, if you want?"

Carlos blinks and looks at Kendall, smiling softly. "Yeah," he says, nodding slowly again. "We'll see."

"Are you alright?" Frowning, Kendall lifts a hand and cups Carlos' jaw lightly, thumbing across his cheek, heart pounding wildly in his chest.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine." Carlos smiles more and leans forward, kissing Kendall's lips softly. "Just trying to get used to the fact that you'll be gone soon," he says, voice cracking in a few spots before he clears his throat, slipping both hands on either side of Kendall's neck.

Despite the reassurance and the smile on his boyfriend's face, Kendall worries about what will happen when he has to leave and he swallows hard, chewing on the edge of his lip as he studies Carlos' face quietly. He takes deep breath and coasts his hand down the curve of Carlos' jaw, slipping it onto the back of his neck, pulling him forward for another kiss.

This kiss is soft and slow and Kendall doesn't want it to stop; he wants to kiss Carlos until they're both tired of it and then he wants to do it more, because he can't get enough of Carlos, no matter what. After a moment, though, Carlos eases away and brushes his thumb along the inside of Kendall's jaw, bringing it up to touch his earlobe.

"Everything will be fine," he whispers, giving Kendall a brilliant smile that makes him believe that everything will be okay, despite the way he's feeling and what he's worrying about. "We'll figure something out, don't worry." With that, Carlos leans in and kisses Kendall deeply, curling a hand around the nape of his neck, fingertips just barely pressing into his skin.

Kendall returns the kiss and closes his eyes tightly, moving a hand to Carlos' side, brushing his fingertips over his skin slowly. When they pull apart this time, Kendall licks his lips and keeps his eyes shut for a moment before blinking them open, settling his gaze on Carlos'.

"Let's not worry about this now, okay?" Carlos nods and cocks his head to the side, smiling more. "I told Logan that my parents are going away next week, and I'm gonna be alone for a few weeks..."

"Uh-huh," Carlos hedges, nodding his head.

Kendall laughs and moves both hands to Carlos' hips. "And I was thinking that, if you wanted to, maybe you and Logan could stay here with me a couple of times during those weeks..."

"Are you asking me to play house with you while your parents are gone, Kendall?"

"Well..." Kendall huffs and blushes, biting his lip. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I'd love to." Carlos laughs and leans in, kissing the side of Kendall's mouth.

Biting his lip more, Kendall smiles and turns, whispering against Carlos' lips. "And I was thinking we could have one last party, you know, go all out. Invite Gustavo and Guitar Dude, and whoever else you want to invite.."

"That sounds like fun," Carlos murmurs, lips moving against Kendall's. "So, what if I wanted to stay with you the entire time your parents are gone? Is that alright?"

"Of course." Kendall breathes against Carlos' mouth and smiles, nipping at his lips lightly.

Carlos laughs and pulls away, nodding solemnly. "I'll tell my parents," he says and like that, everything really is better and Kendall can't stop his heart from racing in his chest whenever he thinks about spending two weeks alone with Carlos.

"Your haircut looks good, by the way," Kendall points out, smirking when Carlos lifts a hand, touching his hair lightly. "There's a lot less for me to pull, but I can deal with that when the time comes."

"Pull, eh?" Carlos arches a brow and smirks. "And why, exactly, would you be pulling my hair?"

Kendall shrugs a shoulder and grins. "When we're having sex, or you're going down on me... I've gotta have  _somewhere_  to put my hands, right?"

"I guess so." Laughing, Carlos pushes Kendall back against the mattress and slips his hands onto his boxers, curling his fingers underneath the waistband, tugging the fabric down slowly. "I think we'll just have to put that to to the test, huh? See how well you can pull my hair now that I've cut it," he whispers as he leans down, pressing a kiss to Kendall's lower abdomen.

"Mmm," Kendall agrees, moving a hand to the back of Carlos' head, cradling it lightly. "Guess so," he says, licking his lips as he looks down at Carlos, feeling his lips ghost down his stomach, trailing down the fine hair underneath Kendall's navel.

Soft cotton drags over his cock and Kendall shudders, lifting his hips automatically to help Carlos take his boxers off, feeling the fabric drag down his thighs. He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly, watching Carlos as he moves over, pressing a kiss to the jut of Kendall's hip, dragging his teeth over the bone slowly before looking up.

Neither of them say anything and Kendall curls his fingers in Carlos' hair, relaxing and curling them over and over nervously, breath hitching when he feels his boxers slide off his legs. Carlos tosses the fabric onto the floor and pushes Kendall's legs apart, settling between them as he kisses and bites at his boyfriend's hips, kissing from one to the other, teeth nipping his skin on the way.

A hand skirts along the outside of Kendall's thigh and he shudders, breathing in and out of slowly, trying to focus on too many things at once. His focus is on Carlos' teeth and the way they sink into his skin, biting and marking him, leaving tiny marks along his hips... until he feels Carlos' hand on his cock, thumb brushing along the underside.

Kendall lets out a noise and arches off the bed, letting his head tip back a little as he closes his eyes, cupping the back of Carlos' head again, pressing long fingers against his skull. He whimpers and moans, feeling Carlos' lips sucking a spot on his hip and he wonders, dimly, if there's going to be a mark there and his heart rate quickens.

"Carlos," he breathes, moving his hand up and down the crown of Carlos' head before going down and stopping just above the nape of his neck.

Looking up, Carlos pulls away and licks his lips slowly. "What is it, baby?"

Kendall shakes his head and looks down at Carlos, huffing out a breath; he smiles and licks his lips, shaking his head again before thumbing across the base of Carlos' skull. "Nothing, just saying your name," he whispers, slipping his free hand to Carlos' jaw, touching it lightly.

"Okay," Carlos says, turning to kiss the palm of Kendall's hand before moving back to what he was doing. He sinks his teeth into Kendall's hip hard enough to make him moan and thrust forward, the hand on the back of his head slipping down and gripping his neck lightly.

The hand on Kendall's cock starts stroking slowly until he's fully hard and, when he is, Carlos moves down and kisses the head softly, before flicking his tongue against it. He listens to Kendall moan and watches his eyes flutter shut, hidden behind his long eyelashes, and Carlos smiles before wrapping a hand around the base, sliding it up the shaft slowly as he takes the head between his lips.

Carlos takes his time in teasing Kendall and revels in the noises coming from above him whenever he strokes his hand down, giving the base a light squeeze. Breathing deeply through his nose, Carlos starts sucking the head of Kendall's cock slowly, teasing the slit with the tip of his tongue before taking another inch in his mouth. He moans around Kendall and closes his eyes, sucking and stroking at a slow pace, pulling noise after noise from Kendall's chest until he's begging him to do more.

"Please," Kendall gasps, moving his hand back to Carlos' head. "God, Carlos,  _please._ "

Humming, Carlos relaxes his throat and takes as much of Kendall's cock as he can, sucking slowly as he moves a hand down, cupping his balls lightly. He rolls them around between his fingers and starts sucking a little harder, bobbing his head up and down, feeling Kendall's fingers tighten in his hair.

Kendall guides Carlos' head up and down, moaning and writhing underneath him, canting his hips and contorting his body whenever Carlos takes him into his mouth again. He gasps when he feels the head of his cock hit the back of Carlos' throat and he presses his head back against the pillow. Something vibrates through his cock and he realizes that Carlos is humming - or is he moaning? Kendall doesn't really care either way - around him as he sucks harder, the hand on his balls squeezing just enough to make him moan louder.

When Carlos pulls off and starts swirling the tip of his tongue along the head of his cock, Kendall groans and looks down at his boyfriend, gasping at the sight. He bites down on his lip when Carlos meets his eyes, smirking up at him before taking his cock back into his mouth. It's almost too much for Kendall to handle and he slips both hands onto either side of Carlos' head, fingers curled into his hair.

"Carlos, fuck -  _ngh_  - I'm gonna..." Kendall cuts himself off with a moan, feeling the same vibration as before and his entire body is trembling, fingers relaxing and tightening in Carlos' hair as he gasps out, "Gonna come soon, fuck!" _  
_

Carlos hums his approval and takes Kendall's entire cock into his mouth, gagging a little bit before he gets used to the feeling. Soon, he's bobbing up and down again, sucking Kendall's cock as hard as he can, pressing his own hips down against the mattress, which makes him moan loudly. Whenever Carlos makes a noise, Kendall thrusts his hips forward and groans loudly, arching his back as he pushes his head into the pillow more, writhing.

"Gonna," he gasps, moving his hands to the back of Carlos' head, slipping them down between his shoulders, pressing them against his skin. "Gonna fucking...  _come_ ," Kendall growls, thrusting his hips toward Carlos' mouth, fucking it slowly until he feels his orgasm hit.

Kendall comes with a loud grunt, followed by Carlos' name and a string of curse words, fingernails digging into the skin between his shoulders, dragging them up and down slowly as he comes. He feels Carlos swallow around him and hears him gag once or twice but the noise doesn't register in his mind until he feels his boyfriend's mouth slide off his cock.

Sighing heavily, Kendall falls back against the bed and drops his hands away from Carlos, laying them on his thighs as he comes down from his orgasm. His body is still thrumming and he moans, blinking his eyes a few times before settling them on Carlos, giving him a lazy grin.

"That was amazing," Kendall breathes, licking his lips slowly.

Carlos nods and leans down, kissing Kendall slowly, swiping his tongue against his lower lip before pulling away, settling his hands on either of Kendall's hips. "I'm glad you think so," he says, chuckling quietly.

"Mm..." Kendall smiles and moves a shaky hand down the middle of Carlos' stomach, pushing his fingertips underneath the waistband of his boxers. "I can return the favor, if you want," he whispers, cocking his head to the side as he runs his fingers along Carlos' skin, fingertips dangerously close to his cock.

"I'm good," Carlos lies, leaning down to kiss Kendall's jaw lightly. "You don't have to return any favor," he says, lips brushing against Kendall's skin lightly.

"You sure?" Kendall keeps his hand where it is, raising a brow.

"Uh-huh," Carlos whispers again, pressing a quick kiss to Kendall's cheek before laying next to him, taking the hand that was in his boxers and lacing their fingers together. "So, what are the plans for tomorrow?"

Taking a deep breath, Kendall shrugs and scoots over, laying his head on Carlos' shoulder. "What do you want to do? I have the day off and I plan on spending it all with you," he says, turning to kiss Carlos' skin lightly.

"Well..." Carlos chuckles and rests his head against Kendall's. "Logan and I were talking about getting tattoos sometime soon, so maybe we could do that tomorrow?"

"Don't you need an appointment?"

"Yeah," Carlos answers, moving his hand away from Kendall's, skimming his fingertips up his arm slowly. "But I've got a friend that works at a tattoo shop, so I'll call him in the morning and he can squeeze us in? I probably won't get a tattoo, I might get a piercing.."

Kendall nods and hums. "Do you want Logan to come?"

"If you don't mind... I did kind of promise him, you know." Carlos brushes his fingers against Kendall's bicep and moves them down, resting his hand against Kendall's side.

"I don't mind at all."

Carlos smiles and ducks down, kissing Kendall lightly. "Good. I'll call them both in the morning," he says, yawning quietly afterward. "And maybe Camille can come."

"She's only seventeen," Kendall points out, getting closer to Carlos. "But she can come to hold Logan's hand, I guess," he says, laughing quietly.

"Better her than me," Carlos grumbles, settling against the bed.

After that, they go quiet and Kendall listens to Carlos' breathing, tucking his head against his boyfriend's neck, closing his eyes. He draws in deep, slow breaths and moves a hand to Carlos' lower abdomen, fingertips drumming against his skin lightly.

"Good night," Carlos whispers, turning to kiss the top of Kendall's head.

Kendall yawns and nods, fitting his body against Carlos', tangling their legs together. "Good night, I love you," he mumbles sleepily, listening to Carlos chuckle before he starts to doze off, feeling safe and happy in Carlos' arms.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: talk of the piercing/tattooing process]

Carlos doesn't sleep well during the night; he wakes up nearly every hour until six AM and spends the time staring at the ceiling, listening to the slow pull of Kendall's breath, feeling it hit his skin whenever he exhales. He tries to keep himself from thinking but, no matter how hard he tries, Carlos can't stop himself from wondering what's going to happen when Kendall leaves. A part of him wants to see if they can make it happen, though he knows long distance relationships hardly ever work, but he also feels like that would be selfish of him. After all, Kendall's probably better off without Carlos anyway; while he's off becoming a successful musician, Carlos will be stuck in Minnesota, working as a middle-class mechanic.

Yeah, Kendall can do a  _lot_  better than Carlos. Hell, Carlos would go as far as saying Kendall  _deserves_  someone better than him.

The sun's fully up when Carlos finally slips out of bed and he grabs his jeans, slipping them on quietly before leaning over to kiss the top of Kendall's head, laughing softly when he grumbles into the pillow. Sighing, Carlos moves out of the room and shuts the door behind him, listening to the gentle 'click' that indicates it's shut, before heading down the hall. He shoves a hand into his pocket as he walks and grabs his phone, pulling it out as he goes down the stairs, dialing a number once he steps off the bottom stair, yawning quietly as he presses the receiver against his ear.

As he listens to the other line ring, Carlos steps outside and sits on the porch steps, running his free hand over his face, waiting for someone to pick up. He yawns loudly and kicks his legs out, listening to the line click before someone answers.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luke. What's up?" Carlos asks, scratching the back of his neck.

Luke laughs and Carlos smiles. "Not much, just got into work. What's up with you? Long time no talk, man."

"Yeah, I know." Sighing, Carlos shifts the phone from one ear to the other. "And I'm not up to much, just staying at my boyfriend's house," he answers, chuckling quietly.

"Boyfriend, huh? Is it the same one as before, uh... Sam, is that his name?"

Carlos grimaces and shakes his head. "Nah, I dumped him 'cause he was a douchebag. This guy is a  _lot_  better than Sam, believe me," he says, licking his lips as he listens to Luke laugh. "Hey, I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot," Luke says, voice cheery.

"I was thinking about coming by with Logan to get some tattoos," he explains, bending a knee and planting his foot against the porch step. "And I know we need appointments, so I was calling to see if you could squeeze us in, maybe?"

There's a moment of silence before Luke answers, "Yeah, of course. How many are coming to get tattoos?"

Carlos thinks for a second, pursing his lips. "Probably just two: my boyfriend and Logan."

"What's the boyfriend's name?" Luke asks, sounding genuinely interested.

"Kendall."

"Ken doll?"

"No," Carlos laughs, shaking his head as he runs his hand over his face again. "Kendall; K-E-N-D-A-L-L."

Luke laughs and makes a noise that sounds like a snort. "Gotcha, Kendall. That's a nice name, very unique."

"Yeah, he's pretty fucking unique," Carlos agrees, licking his lips. "So, you can squeeze them in for tattoos and me for a piercing?"

"Sure thing, Garcia. When do y'all wanna come up?"

"When are you free?" Carlos asks, leaning forward to rest his elbow on his knee.

Another moment of silence and Carlos can barely hear pages flipping. "I've got a couple of hours free in between appointments at one, is that time alright for you?"

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll let you go so you can get back to work," Carlos says as he stretches his leg out again. "And I'll see you later, before one."

"Sounds good to me," Luke says, laughing. "Can't wait to meet your new boyfriend."

"And Logan's new girlfriend."

"Damn, really?" Luke whistles and Carlos shakes his head, mumbling 'yes' under his breath. "Well, I'll see y'all in a few hours."

Carlos nods, though his friend can't see him. "See you in a bit, Stone."

"See ya," Luke says and they both hang up.

With a heavy sigh, Carlos scrubs a hand down his face and stares at his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he gets to Logan's name. He bites the edge of his lip, checks the time, and taps the screen before bringing the phone to his ear, listening to the other side ring and ring and ring... until Logan finally answers, just before Carlos is about to hang up.

"Dude, do you  _know_  what time it is?" are the first words out of Logan's mouth and Carlos laughs, nodding.

"I'm well aware," he answers, cupping his jaw in his palm. "Are you at home or Camille's."

Logan snorts and yawns loudly on the other line, before answering. "I'm at my house, why?"

"No reason," Carlos mumbles, crossing his legs at the ankles.

"Hey, what's up man? You alright?"

Carlos blinks and then closes his eyes, sighing deeply. "No, not really, but I will be. Don't worry about it, alright?"

"Alright..." Logan yawns again and Carlos can hear the bed springs squeak as he moves. "But, really, what's up? You almost never call me at seven in the morning... unless it's an emergency."

"It's not an emergency," Carlos assures him, chuckling quietly. "Just talked to Luke."

Logan laughs on the other end and mumbles, "What'd he want?"

"He didn't call me; I called him." Sighing, Carlos uncrosses his legs and crosses them again, the other way this time. "I asked if he could squeeze us in today, to get tattoos," he explains, crossing his arm over his chest as he opens his eyes.

"Dude, no." Logan's words are soft, voice disbelieving.

"Dude,  _yes_." Carlos mocks his tone, laughing quietly before adding, "Luke said he could fit us in later, if you wanna go."

"Of course I wanna go!"

Biting his lip, Carlos nods and stares at the concrete under his feet. "Alright, good. Kendall's coming with us and we can bring Camille, if you want. She can't get a tattoo or a piercing, but she can hold your hand," he teases, rolling his eyes when he hears Logan gasp dramatically.

"When's the appointment?"

"One, but we need to get there before hand," Carlos explains, scratching the underside of his bicep with his thumbnail.

"Alright," Logan says after a beat. "I'm gonna get some more sleep," he says, pausing to yawn loudly before continuing, "then I'll call Camille and we'll meet you at Kendall's place. Think he can fit us all in his car?"

Carlos laughs and flicks his gaze to the Audi, tugging on his lip with his teeth. "Probably, we'll see. If not, we can always take your car," he answers, sighing as he turns to look at the front door.

"See you in a few hours." Logan yawns and mutters sleepily, "Night."

"It's morning, dipshit," Carlos corrects, laughing when Logan mumbles 'fuck you' into the phone. "Yeah, yeah, see you later."

Logan laughs and mumbles, "See you."

The two of them hang up and Carlos stares at his phone for a minute, tapping his thumb against the purple case before shoving it into his pocket. Sighing, he looks down the street one last time and stands, stretching and groaning quietly to himself as he turns to make his way across the porch and to the door. He slips inside quietly and goes to the stairs, taking them one at a time, his heart pounding in his chest as thoughts from last night come creeping back into his mind.

Carlos pushes the thoughts from his mind and goes into Kendall's room quietly, getting out of his jeans again before slipping into bed, pressing his chest against Kendall's back. He leans down and presses small kisses along Kendall's shoulder and wraps an arm around him, holding him tight. Breathing in deeply, Carlos closes his eyes and rests his forehead between Kendall's shoulders, breathing in deeply, taking in his scent.

They lie like that for a while, with Carlos' hand resting low on Kendall's stomach and his nose brushing against his skin, breathing softly against it as he listens to the way his boyfriend breathes. After a while, though, Kendall turns over and presses his chest against Carlos', moving a hand over his hip before pressing it against the small of his back, giving his boyfriend a lazy, sleepy smile.

"Morning," Carlos whispers, smiling as he reaches up to touch the side of Kendall's face. "How'd you sleep?"

Kendall breathes in deeply and closes his eyes, smiling. "Slept great," he croaks and Carlos laughs at him. "How about you?"

"I slept just fine; I've been laying here for a while, listening to you sleep."

"Creeper," Kendall jokes, opening his eyes again when he feels Carlos' fingertips brush along his cheekbone. "Are you sure you slept well?"

Nodding, Carlos leans in and kisses Kendall softly. "I'm positive," he lies, whispering the words against Kendall's lips.

"Mm," Kendall hums, nodding as he pulls away. "Did you call your friend?"

"Yep. Everything's set up and our appointments are at one."

"Good, good." Yawning, Kendall buries his face against Carlos' neck and breathes deeply. "Gimme a few minutes and we'll go downstairs for breakfast," he mutters, curling his hand around Carlos' hip.

"Take your time," Carlos says, chuckling and shivering when Kendall breathes against his neck.

A comfortable silence falls over them and Carlos moves his hand down the slope of Kendall's neck, slipping it over his shoulder before resting it on his bicep. He thumbs across Kendall's skin, feeling how smooth it is underneath his own rough, calloused flesh and he sighs quietly, closing his eyes. For a moment, Carlos thinks he can fall asleep and  _stay_  asleep, until he feels Kendall shift against him and feels the familiar brush of lips against his skin; he smiles and blinks his eyes open, humming quietly.

"I thought you wanted breakfast," he murmurs, dragging his hand down Kendall's arm slowly, cupping his elbow.

"Can't I have  _you_  for breakfast?" Kendall asks and Carlos can almost  _hear_  the pout in his voice.

Tapping his fingertips against Kendall's elbow, Carlos chuckles. "If you want, but I don't think I'll do much to sate your appetite."

"You'll sate another appetite, though..."

"Maybe we should wait until later, hmm?"

Kendall pulls away from Carlos' neck and looks at him, eyebrows knitting together and the wrinkles in his forehead deepening.

"What?" Carlos asks, moving his hand to the back of Kendall's bicep.

"Usually you're all over me," Kendall explains, his eyebrows rearranging slightly, so that they're arched. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just think we should wait until later... after the tattoos."

Pursing his lips together, Kendall nods but keeps staring at Carlos incredulously.

Carlos sighs and leans forward, catching Kendall's lips in a biting kiss; it's all tongue and teeth and hands roaming all over the place that Carlos is sure that Kendall will forget about not wanting him. When Kendall pushes back into the kiss, Carlos knows that the distraction worked and he sighs against Kendall's mouth, moving a hand up to cup the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair roughly.

For a moment, Carlos forgets about Boston and he forgets that Kendall is leaving. For a brief time, it's just him and Kendall and the  _now_ ; their lips moving perfectly together and Carlos' tongue pressing against Kendall's until he lets out a whine. The noise gets swallowed by Carlos and he pushes Kendall onto his back and is quick to straddle his hips, pressing them down with his own as he deepens the kiss.

The hand on the back of Kendall's head moves down, tracing the curve of his neck before pressing against it, feeling his pulse quicken underneath his palm. He can feel it speed up underneath his skin and Carlos is half worried that he's overexciting Kendall too much but he lets himself be pulled under by the soft lips; the teeth biting at his mouth; the tongue swiping in the wake of the bites. He lets himself get completely lost in Kendall, like he has so many times before, and Carlos, finally, forgets about Boston completely.

When they break for air, Carlos gasps and straightens up, slipping his hand down and pressing it against Kendall's chest. He looks down at the boy underneath him and rocks his hips slowly, feeling just how excited that got Kendall, and he swallows thickly, letting his eyes flutter shut.

"Carlos," Kendall says and Carlos blinks his eyes open, settling them on Kendall's. "Are you okay? After last night, I mean," he says softly, hands wrapping around Carlos' hips, thumbs brushing along his skin slowly.

Taking a deep breath, Carlos moves his other hand to Kendall's chest and presses both palms against his skin, drumming his fingertips against it slowly. He wants to tell Kendall the truth but knows that, if he does, he'll probably just upset the other boy and he doesn't want that; Carlos  _cannot_  upset Kendall, especially with something so petty and stupid.

So, instead, Carlos lies.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he says, leaning down to kiss the tip of Kendall's nose, smiling when he makes a noise. "I'm just tired and kind of nervous about getting a piercing, that's all."

Kendall nods his head and moves a hand up Carlos' side. "So, real breakfast?"

"Yes," Carlos laughs, leaning down to kiss Kendall's lips. "Real breakfast, and then maybe we could watch a movie before taking a shower?"

"Mm... I like the sound of that." Kendall smiles and sits up, wrapping his arms around Carlos. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Carlos chews on his lip and smiles. "I could make french toast," he says, locking his arms around Kendall's neck. "And we could have eggs with it."

"Scrambled?"

"Anyway you want them, baby."

With a smile, Kendall nods and kisses Carlos' jaw quickly before rolling him over and pressing him against the mattress. "Meet you in the kitchen in five?"

"It's a date," Carlos answers, chewing the edge of his lip and giggling around it when Kendall leans down to kiss his cheek before moving to get off the bed. He watches Kendall go to the bathroom and waits until the door's shut to get out of bed, grabbing his pants and one of Kendall's shirts on the way to the door.

Pulling the shirt over his head, Carlos walks to the stairs and goes down them, holding his jeans in one hand until he gets to the bottom. He moves into the kitchen and puts his jeans on quickly, doing the zipper up and popping the button into place before going to the sink to wash his hands. After they're cleaned and dried, he goes around the kitchen and gathers the ingredients for french toast, setting them on the counter as he goes to look for a pan.

By the time Kendall comes downstairs, Carlos has two pans on the stove: one for french toast (two pieces are already sizzling in the pan) and the other for the eggs that are sitting in a bowl, whisked with a little bit of milk. He shakes his head and goes to the stove, leaning down to nuzzle Carlos' neck lightly, laughing when he's smacked on the arm and shooed away from the stove.

"You don't need any help at all?" Kendall asks, pouting as he slinks away and heads to the fridge, opening the door.

"None at all, but thanks for offering."

Chuckling, Carlos goes back to work and flips the two pieces of toast before moving to the other pan. He puts butter into it and turns the eye on before going back to the bowl on the counter, adding a dash of salt and pepper into the egg mixture before beating it again with a fork. Once the butter is melted in the pan, Carlos adds the eggs and grabs a second spatula, working the mixture around the pan before going back to the french toast.

After getting his orange juice from the fridge, Kendall watches Carlos and smiles, heading to the cabinet for a glass. He grabs two and sets them on the counter, filling them each with juice before grabbing one and taking a small sip. With fascination, he watches Carlos cook and smiles against the rim of his glass, chuckling at the way his boyfriend talks to himself as he pushes the eggs around in the pan or flips the toast.

"Hand me two plates?" Carlos asks, turning t look at Kendall with a smile and an extended hand.

Kendall sets his glass down and nods, turning back to the cabinet. "Sure thing," he says as he reaches up, grabbing two plates before handing them to Carlos, smiling.

"Thanks." Carlos turns back to the stove and puts one piece of toast on each plate. He sets the pan on another burner and turns the stove off before grabbing the pan with the eggs in it, plating those as well. When he's done, he takes a plate for himself and grabs the other glass of orange juice off the counter, before going to sit down at the table.

After grabbing his own plate and glass, Kendall follows Carlos to the table, setting his things down before going back to the counter. He opens the silverware drawer and grabs two forks, heading to the pantry to grab a bottle of syrup before, finally, heading back to the table, setting a fork down next to Carlos' glass.

The two of them are quiet as they eat and Kendall mostly just focuses on the food, but he looks up at Carlos occasionally and frowns, feeling like something is off between the two of them. He decides to ask later and finishes his breakfast, downing the rest of his orange juice before taking the dirty dishes to the sink; Carlos follows behind him a moment later and Kendall leans down to kiss him. Carlos' lips taste like maple syrup and oranges and Kendall can't stop the moan that comes from his throat, not even if he tried his hardest.

"What's that for?" Carlos asks when they pull away, wrapping his arms around Kendall's waist.

"You taste good," is Kendall's reply before he leans down, kissing Carlos again.

This kiss lasts a few seconds; it ends with Carlos pulling away and biting at his lower lip, eyelashes fluttering as he blinks his eyes rapidly. They lock eyes and Carlos flashes a smile at Kendall, the edges of his mouth tugging up before going flat again in less than a second.

"I love you," Kendall says, moving a hand up and down Carlos' back.

"Love you too." Closing his eyes, Carlos presses himself against Kendall and sighs. "Movie?"

Kendall nods and wraps his arms around Carlos' neck. "What do you wanna watch?"

"Captain America," Carlos mumbles, peeking an eye open to look at Kendall.

"A man after my own heart."

Carlos grins and nods. "I figured you'd be okay with that," he says, moving a hand down to the small of Kendall's back.

"Come on, let's watch it."

Kendall pulls away and takes one of Carlos' hands in his own, lacing their fingers together as he leads him into the living room. Once there, he lets go of Carlos' hand and moves to the entertainment center, bending down to open up one of the cabinet doors, rifling through the DVDs before picking the right one. He pops the movie out and puts it into the player before moving over to the couch where Carlos is sitting, leaning against the arm.

Dropping onto the cushions, Kendall leans back and lays an arm across the top of the couch, watching the previews play for a moment before leaning forward to grab the remote. He fast forwards through everything and plays the movie, settling back into the same position as before but this time, Carlos moves and curls up against his side, head laying against Kendall's shoulder.

The movie plays and Kendall rests his hand on the back of Carlos' head, watching the screen intently but looking down at his boyfriend every few minutes. One of the last few times he does this, Kendall notices that Carlos is asleep and he moves forward carefully and grabs the remote, turning the TV off.

"Carlos," Kendall whispers, giving his boyfriend a light shake until he blinks his eyes open and looks up at him, humming. "Come on, let's lay down."

Kendall moves so that he's laying on the couch and he leaves plenty of room beside him for Carlos to lay down. After a moment, Carlos lays down beside Kendall and presses his back against the couch, settling his head against the crook of Kendall's neck. He yawns and lays his arm across his boyfriend's stomach, closing his eyes slowly as he drifts off to sleep once again, breathing against Kendall's skin.

As Carlos sleeps, Kendall stares at the ceiling and listens to him breathe, eventually closing his eyes as well. He breathes in deeply and thinks about what's going on later that day and his body breaks out in goosebumps when he realizes that he's getting a tattoo in a few hours. It's the first real "adult" thing Kendall has done - besides having sex - and he's excited to do it, but he's also nervous about the pain.

Pushing the thought of pain out of his mind, Kendall thinks about tattoo ideas and the first thing that comes to mind is music. He thinks about how music practically saved him and gave him something to do when the world was shitty and nothing seemed to really go his way. The thought of having a tattoo dedicated to something he's passionate about makes Kendall even more excited and he sighs, opening his eyes and fixating them on the ceiling once more.

Carlos sleeps until eleven o'clock and Kendall kisses him awake, slipping a hand down to his ass, gripping it tightly through the denim. When Carlos pulls away and grumbles 'I'm awake,' over and over, Kendall laughs and rolls off the couch, standing up before holding a hand out to Carlos, smiling at him.

"We should shower now," he says, squeezing Carlos' hand when he's off the couch.

"Probably." Carlos yawns and presses his body against Kendall's, wrapping his arms around his waist, both hands pressed flat against his boyfriend's back. "Don't wanna move," he grumbles, the words falling against Kendall's shirt.

Laughing, Kendall wraps an arm around Carlos' neck and kisses the top of his head. "I don't want to move either."

"But we have to?" Carlos asks, yawning again as he looks up at Kendall, blinking his eyes a little. "Piercing," he says, like it's an epiphany, and Kendall nods his head, smirking. "And you and... tattoos."

"You're still asleep, huh?"

"I think so," Carlos mumbles, burying his face against Kendall's shirt again. "But a shower should wake me up."

"Then c'mon." Dropping his arm, Kendall wraps his fingers around Carlos' and starts leading him toward the stairs, trying his hardest not to laugh whenever Carlos stumbles or curses loudly.

They finally get to Kendall's room and he looks down the hall, noticing the door to his mother's room is cracked. He stops in his tracks and looks at Carlos, kissing him lightly, whispering against his lips, "You go shower first; I'm going to see if my mom's up."

Carlos nods and glances down the hall, giving Kendall's hand a squeeze before dropping it. "I'll try not to use all the hot water," he teases, sticking his tongue out as his boyfriend before going into his room, leaving the door wide open behind him.

Laughing quietly to himself, Kendall moves down the hall and runs a hand through his hair slowly, shoulders slumped forward as he listens to the floor creak slightly under his weight. When he gets to his mother's room, Kendall raps his knuckles against the door and pushes it open a little, waiting for his mother to answer before pushing it open all the way.

"Come in," his mother calls and Kendall obeys, pushing the door open with his knee, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Hey, you're up," he points out, laughing when his mother turns away from her closet to stare at him. "I thought maybe you were working again today."

Jennifer shakes her head and smiles, going back to rifling through her closet. "Not for a couple more hours," she answers, grabbing a pair of blue scrubs off a hanger.

"Normal shift or double?" Kendall asks, moving to the foot of the bed, leaning against it.

"Double." Jennifer sighs and lays her scrubs out on the bed, looking up at her son. "Isn't Carlos here?"

"Why would you assume that?"

"Not assuming," she says, pausing to laugh. "I went downstairs earlier and I saw you two on the couch."

Kendall nods and chews on his lip. "We're leaving in a bit," he says, leaning his head against a post at the end of the bed.

"That's good. Where are you two going?"

"To get tattoos," Kendall replies in a small voice, biting at the edge of his lip.

When Jennifer looks at him again, her eyebrows are raised slightly. "Say that again."

"Tattoos, mom. I am an adult, you know," he sighs, moving a hand out of his pocket to scratch his hip.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that," Jennifer replies, pursing her lips together as she looks at her scrubs again.

Sighing deeply, Kendall slips his hand into his back pocket and looks down at the carpet. "Carlos is getting a piercing, I think. It's just me and Logan getting the tattoos," he mutters, staring at a particularly interesting fuzzball on the floor.

"So, is Camille going?" Kendall nods in response and listens to his mom sigh. "That girl is underage," she points out and Kendall looks up, blinking at Jennifer.

"I know. She's going for moral support and so Logan will have a hand to hold."

Jennifer purses her lips again and nods. "Well, you guys be safe. I don't want to see  _any_  of you in my ER, do you hear me? I don't want to have to give my own son an antibiotic drip because he got an infection from some back-woods tattoo shop that doesn't know how to sterilize their equipment."

Kendall laughs at his mother and stops when she throws a death glare his way.

"I'm serious," she says, her voice tight.

"I promise I'll make sure they sterilize everything before it touches my skin, okay?"

"Okay," Jennifer sighs, nodding. "Now shoo, I have things to do and you have a boyfriend to attend to, right?"

Kendall snaps his fingers and turns on his heels. "Right, I'll see you later," he says as he walks out of the room and back down the hall, pulling his shirt off on the way.

When Kendall gets to his room, he throws his shirt onto the pile of laundry and gets out of his jeans, tossing them away before getting rid of his boxers. Once naked, he goes into the bathroom and steps into the shower with Carlos, scaring him enough to make him yelp and smack him on the arm when he starts laughing.

"Sorry," Kendall mutters, leaning down to kiss Carlos lightly.

They ease apart and Carlos wraps his arms around Kendall. "All is forgiven."

After a few more kisses, they start washing each other and Kendall steals a few more kisses from Carlos, until his boyfriend slaps him on the shoulder and tells him to stop, his tone only  _half_  serious. The whole shower is relaxing and Kendall takes comfort in feeling Carlos' hands all over him, leaving behind a blanket of bubbles on his skin.

They rinse each other and Kendall turns the shower off before stepping out, grabbing a towel for himself and one for Carlos. He starts drying himself off and wraps the towel around his waist as he walks out of the bathroom, heading toward his closet as Carlos follows him, grabbing his glasses off the nightstand.

"I don't know when Logan's getting here," he says, watching as Kendall rolls his shoulders, before opening the closet. "I'll check my phone in a minute."

"Okay." Kendall turns and smiles at Carlos before turning back to his closet.

This time, it doesn't take him long to find an outfit and he pulls a pair of blue jeans off their hanger and tosses them onto the bed, shutting the closet doors before moving to his dresser. He opens a drawer and grabs a black tank top, before glancing at Carlos, who's standing near the bed, watching his every move. "You want to borrow one of my shirts?"

"Could I? It's bad enough that I have to wear the same jeans as last night," Carlos says, chuckling before catching his tongue between his teeth.

Nodding, Kendall turns back to the drawer and rummages around for a moment before pulling an old Taking Back Sunday shirt; he tosses it onto the bed and straightens up, opening another drawer. From this one, he pulls out a pair of socks and some boxers, shutting the drawer before letting the towel fall around his feet. He steps out of the wet fabric and pulls his boxers on, snapping the elastic against his hips like he always does.

Carlos looks at the shirt and raises a brow. "Taking Back Sunday, huh?"

"They're good," Kendall replies, shrugging a shoulder as he bends down to grab the towel. "What - don't you like them?"

"I like them just fine." Chuckling, Carlos pulls his own towel off and runs it over his body again, tossing it away when he's done, grabbing the shirt once more. He pulls the fabric over his head, careful not to knock his glasses off, and bends down to pluck his boxers off the floor, slipping those on too.

The two of them get dressed quietly and Carlos checks his phone, noticing two messages from Logan; one says that he's on his way and the other says that he's waiting on the porch. He checks the time the last one was sent and slips his phone back into his pocket, running a hand through his hair. "Logan's on the porch," he says, chuckling when Kendall raises his eyebrows, looking up from the sleeves of his flannel.

"Alright, come on." As he rolls the other sleeve up, Kendall moves to the door and goes out into the hall, leading Carlos to the stairs and then down them. They get to the door and Kendall knocks on the inside before opening it and sticking his head out, grinning at Logan. "We'll be right out," he says, squinting his eyes a bit.

"Take your time." Logan waves a hand dismissively and smirks.

Kendall leaves the door open and grabs his Vans, slipping them on quickly before making sure the bottoms of his jeans are over top of the shoes. When everything's straight, he grabs his keys and goes out the front door, messing Logan's hair up before jumping off the porch, landing onto the concrete walkway with a loud bang.

A second later, Carlos comes out and slips his hands into his pocket, nudging Logan's back with his foot. "What's up, asshole?"

"Not much," Logan answers, standing to look at Carlos, raising a brow. "That shirt is Kendall's, right?"

"Seriously? Does he hate Taking Back Sunday  _that much_?"

Logan laughs and shakes his head, turning to Kendall. "I figured it's yours 'cause it's hanging off him," he replies, laughing even more when Kendall blushes and clears his throat, turning away. "But yeah, he's not the biggest fan of them."

"I  _like them_ ," Carlos says, glaring at his best friend and boyfriend. "Can we just drop it and go get Camille?"

"Sure!" Logan moves closer to Kendall and tucks his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "Can you fit four people in your little Audi, Kendall?"

Squinting, Kendall turns to look at Logan and shrugs. "Probably can," he says, smirking as he holds the keys out to Logan, his finger slipped through the key ring. "You wanna drive?"

"Are you fucking  _serious_? I get a tattoo  _and_  a chance to drive that sweet car?"

"Totally serious," Kendall replies, laughing quietly. "You and Carlos take the front, and I'll sit in the back with Camille."

Logan takes the keys and stares at Kendall with wide eyes. "Dude, you are fucking awesome!"

"I've been told that before."

Without warning, Logan throws his arms around Kendall and hugs him tightly, giggling like a child when he pulls away, throwing a glance at Carlos. His best friend gives him a thumbs up and chuckles, stepping off the porch before winding an arm around Kendall's waist, leaning into him.

"That was very nice," he whispers, slipping his hand into Kendall's back pocket.

"He looks happy." Kendall smiles and watches Logan head toward the car, looping an arm around Carlos' shoulders. "You can drive it back, if you want."

Carlos shakes his head and laughs. "Might be in too much pain," he grumbles, letting Kendall lead him to the car.

"Did you decide on what piercing you want?"

"My nipples," Carlos answers, almost immediately.

"Nipples... really?" Kendall chuckles nervously, watching Logan jump into the car.

Nodding, Carlos turns his face up and smirks at Kendall. "I wanted to get my lip done, but doesn't require like, a two week wait before kissing or giving head?"

"I think so, yeah."

"And someone told me, once, that my nipples would be perfect for nipple rings." Carlos shrugs and looks toward the car, laughing at Logan as he sits straight up in the seat, hands already wrapped around the wheel like a sixteen year old that's going to drive for the first time.

"Someone, eh? Ex-boyfriend someone?"

Carlos grimaces and nods. "Yeah, one of them said I had perfect nipples and... yeah, I've thought about it and I really want them done," he explains, squeezing Kendall's hip as they get closer to the car. "Have you figured out what you're gonna get?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers, nodding as they walk around the car, going to the passenger side. "I'm gonna draw a rough sketch in the car and hopefully the artist can see what I want."

"Good." Carlos laughs and opens the door, pulling away from Kendall. "In you go," he says, nudging his boyfriend as he pulls the seat forward as much as it can, laughing as he watches Kendall get into the backseat. "You sure you don't want to ride in Logan's car?"

"No way, dude!" Logan protests, twisting around to look at Kendall. "Please say no, please.  _Please_ ," he begs.

Kendall rolls his eyes and chuckles, getting adjusted in the backseat. "I'm good. Besides, you can move the seat up a little and I'll have more room for my legs," he says, running his hands over his knees.

"Freakishly  _long_  legs," Carlos mumbles as he gets into the car, immediately fiddling with the adjustments of the seat. When he finally gets it to where he wants it, he looks over the seat and raises a brow at Kendall. "How's that?"

"Plenty of room." Kendall smiles and leans back against the seat. "Look in the glove compartment; there should be a pad of paper and a pen, could you hand them to me?"

Turning back around, Carlos opens the compartment and shifts things around, grabbing the notepad and a pen, handing them to Kendall before settling back against his seat, sighing. He looks over at Logan, who's flicking his gaze between Kendall and Carlos impatiently.

"Let's go, Jeeves," Kendall says from the back as he draws his knees up.

"Finally!" Logan laughs and turns the car on before putting it in reverse; he backs out of the driveway, making small 'ooh' and 'aah' noises until they get onto the road. He shifts into drive and heads down to Camille's pulling into the driveway before parking and hopping out of the car, leaving the door open.

Kendall draws quietly in the backseat until Camille gets into the car, her leg pressing against his; he looks up when he feels it and smiles at his best friend. "Hey," he says, tapping the end of the pen against the notepad.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Camille looks over at the piece of paper and smiles. "Drawing, huh?"

"Yeah, figured I'd sketch this out so I can give the artist a general idea." Shrugging, Kendall looks back down at the notepad and bites the inside of his cheek, sighing as he goes back to drawing.

"What are you getting, Logan?" She asks as they back out of her driveway, her knee knocking against Kendall's.

Logan hums and puts the car in drive, heading down the street. "It's a surprise," he says, looking in the rear view mirror just in time to catch Camille sticking her tongue out at him.

"Probably something nerdy," Carlos comments, settling down in his seat, watching Kendall in the corner of the rear view.

"He's a nerd?" Camille asks, scooting over to lay her head on Kendall's shoulder and he smiles when she does it.

Snorting, Logan shakes his head and brakes at a stop sign. "I'm not a  _nerd_ ," he says, frowning.

"So... that means you're a big nerd, huh?"

Carlos laughs and nods, closing his eyes. "The biggest, but it's alright - I still love him," he says, patting Logan's knee in a friendly manner, laughing more when his hand is smacked away. "But, Logan's into math and science and he's really fucking smart. I don't see why he's working as a mechanic when he could probably go to like, Harvard or something."

"Harvard?" Logan snorts again and starts driving toward town. "Yeah, like they'd ever take me."

"I bet you could get in," Kendall comments, not bother to look up from his drawing.

"Thanks for the confidence, bro, but you're wrong."

Kendall frowns and looks up finally, staring at Logan. "Have you even tried?"

There's a long silence before Logan answers. "No," he sighs, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "Besides, I like where I'm at and I love working on cars. Why would I want to leave the place I love and the people I know to go to some rich bitch school and become like, a doctor or a lawyer?"

"Because you could be happier?" Camille answers, closing her eyes.

"I'm plenty happy right here," Logan starts, glancing at the rear view mirror, smiling as he continues, "with my best friend, my family, my girlfriend, and Kendall."

Smiling, Kendall goes back to his work and licks his lips. "Well, I'm glad you're happy, at least."

"I am." And, with that, the conversation is dropped and everyone goes quiet again, no noise filling the car save for the thrum of the engine.

The rest of the ride is quiet and Kendall finishes his design, tearing the page off the notepad before folding it up and shoving it into the pocket of his flannel shirt. He looks up when the car stops and looks at the building in front of them, the bright neon sign in the window flashing 'tattoos' is the first thing he notices.

"We're here," Carlos says, getting out of the car when Logan turns it off, moving the seat so Kendall can get out.

It's a struggle for Kendall to get out of the car and he groans and curses under his breath until he's out, stumbling out of the vehicle before he finds his footing again. Clearing his throat, he straightens himself up and tosses the notepad onto the passenger side seat and the pen on the floorboard.

"Let's go!" Logan says, already heading to the door with Camille, the two of them holding hands.

Kendall shakes his head and wraps an arm around Carlos' waist. "Let's go," he parrots, leading his boyfriend to the door before opening it for him, following him inside the air conditioned space. He follows Carlos to a counter in the middle of the building and wraps both arms around his waist, resting his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder.

A guy with short, spiky black hair comes over and stands on the other side of the counter, smiling at Carlos. "What's up, man?"

"Nothing," Carlos answers, chuckling as he moves his hands to Kendall's. "Luke, this is Kendall, my boyfriend," he says, tipping his head toward Kendall with a big smile. "Kendall, this is my friend, Lucas Stone."

"Hey, drop the 'Lucas' bullshit; around here, I'm known as Luke or Stone," he says, glaring at Carlos before flicking his gaze to Kendall, smiling brightly at him. "Nice to meet you, Kendall."

Moving a hand away from Carlos', Kendall extends it to Luke. "Nice to meet you too," he says, shaking the artist's hand slowly before pulling it away and returning it to it's original spot. "Those are some pretty nice tattoos."

Luke looks down at his arms and grins proudly. "Thanks. All my own designs, except for a few," he explains, looking back up at Carlos and Kendall, the grin fading into a smile. "So, you're getting a tattoo today?"

"Yep." Kendall nods and feels Carlos' fingers weave between his own, squeezing his hands. "I took the liberty of drawing a little rough sketch for you," he says, blushing softly.

"Well, let's see it." Luke leans over the counter and folds his hands together, looking at Kendall.

Biting his lip, Kendall nods and lifts a hand, grabbing the piece of paper out of his pocket. "You can probably draw it a lot better than me," he explains as he unfolds it, laying it on the counter in front of Luke, "but that's basically what I want."

Luke takes the paper and looks at the drawing; his eyes scan over the banner wrapping around the treble clef in the middle and nods slowly, noticing the other music notes scattered along the banner. "You're a music man, huh?"

"I am," Kendall says, chewing his lip some more. "I was thinking of having the treble coloured black, but I don't know about the rest."

"And, where would you want this?"

"Where do you think it'd look good?"

Pursing his lips together, Luke looks Kendall up and down. "Might look best on your forearm," he says, smiling.

"Sounds good to me." Kendall laughs and pulls Carlos against him tightly.

"Alright, I'm going to go draw this up," Luke says, waving the paper in the air a little. "But I managed to get Carlos and Logan with two other artists, if you guys don't want to wait."

"I don't," Carlos grumbles, looking over at where Camille and Logan are sitting, flipping through a book of designs. "Hey, you want Luke to tattoo you, or you want someone else?"

Logan looks up and shrugs. "I'm not picky," he says, turning back to the book on his lap.

"That settles it: Logan and I will get done by other people, while I leave my boyfriend in your very capable hands." Carlos laughs and turns to look at Kendall, kissing his cheek lightly. "And I'll be able to hold your hand," he mumbles, smirking when Kendall smacks his hand playfully.

"Don't need it, but I'll definitely appreciate it," he grumbles, pulling away from Carlos a bit when a short, tattooed girl comes up to them, smiling brightly.

"My name's Mandy," she says, rubbing her hands together, pointing her forefingers at Carlos. "And you're the one that wanted the piercing?"

Carlos laughs again and nods. "Yep; I want my nipples done," he says, one of his hands finding Kendall's.

"Nice choice." Winking, Mandy laughs and motions for Carlos and Kendall to follow her. "If you'll take your shirt off and lie down on the table, I'll get everything set up."

"Thanks." Carlos squeezes Kendall's hand and then lets go, taking his shirt off before folding it on the end of the table. He sucks in a deep breath and huffs it out as he lays down, settling against the table a little as he stares at the ceiling.

"Nervous?" Kendall asks, going to stand near Carlos' head, running a hand over his shoulder.

Shaking his head, Carlos closes his eyes and chuckles. "Nah, it'll be done and over with in a matter of seconds, right?"

"Mm, whereas I will be subjected to a long and torturous process with a  _bunch_  of tiny needles pricking my skin." As Kendall says it, he shudders and closes his eyes, fingertips skimming down Carlos' arm slowly.

"Yeah," Carlos says, lifting a hand to touch Kendall's, "but you're gonna look great with a tattoo."

Kendall snorts and shakes his head. "Sure I will," he says, opening his eyes to look down at Carlos.

"Well, don't you think I'll look great with my nipples pierced?"

"Definitely. I'll have to wait a while before I play with 'em, huh?" Kendall chuckles and takes Carlos' hand, lacing their fingers together.

Rolling his eyes, Carlos sighs and brushes his thumb along Kendall's, listening to the noise in the shop, trying to calm himself down before he actually gets the piercing. He's not exactly worried about the pain so much as getting hard when Mandy touches his nipples and when she's working on them. That thought makes him swallow hard and he looks up at Kendall, smiling.

A few minutes later, Mandy comes back and smiles down at Carlos, looking at his chest. "Alright, stand up for me?"

Carlos bites his lip and drops Kendall's hand, obeying Mandy's command; he stands next to the table and keeps chewing on his lip, letting the piercer look him over. She nods and motions to a reclined chair next to the table, smiling brightly at Carlos.

"Alright, sit down and we'll get started, okay?" Mandy turns to Kendall, still smiling. "You can sit on the table, if you want," she says, before turning to her station, grabbing a few things as Carlos sits in the chair and Kendall sits on the edge of the table, out of the piercer's way.

While Mandy sterilizes his nipples, Carlos looks at Kendall and smiles at him, keeping his focus on his boyfriend's face when he feels the clamps on his skin. He swallows hard and listens to Mandy count to three before he feels the needle pierce through he skin, whimpering lightly when it happens. Once the needle is through, the piercer pushes the jewelry into the hole and screws the balls onto the end, looking up at Carlos.

"How're we doing?"

"Fine," Carlos says, huffing as he screws his eyes shut, feeling Kendall's hand on his shoulder.

"One more to go," Mandy says, as she clamps the other nipple and repeats the process; Carlos barely feels the second one, but he whimpers again regardless, hands curled into fists against his thighs.

It doesn't take long for Mandy to put the other piece of jewelry in and, when she's done, she steps back. "All done," she says, smiling at the boys.

Kendall looks down and bites his lip when he sees the bars in Carlos' nipples. "Looks good," he says, nodding his head slowly as he gives Carlos' shoulder a squeeze.

"Do they really?" Carlos asks, opening his eyes to look down at his chest, chuckling. "Looks better than I thought they would, honestly," he says as he sits up, wincing slightly.

"Yo," Luke calls out, waving Kendall over.

Carlos looks up and smiles. "I'll be over there in a minute," he says, nodding toward where Luke is sitting.

"Alright." Sighing heaving, Kendall goes over to the tattoo artist and licks his lips, barely hearing Mandy explain the aftercare procedures to Carlos. When he gets closer to Luke, Kendall runs a hand through his hair and smiles nervously.

"Lemme see the arm you want it on," Luke says, holding a piece of paper in his hands.

Kendall holds both arms out and looks at them, choosing the left one. "Here you go," he says, letting his right arm hang at his side, while holding the left one out to Luke, who lays the paper over his skin.

"I need to resize it and get the stencil; won't take me long, so take a seat."

"Okay," Kendall says, taking his flannel shirt off before sitting on a table, looking around the room quietly. He sees Logan sitting in a chair in the corner with his shirt off and some guy behind him, obviously tattooing something on his back or shoulder. When Logan looks up and notices Kendall looking at him, he nods and waves a little, his face screwing up a bit like he's in pain.

When Luke comes back out, he sterilizes Kendall's arm and shaves it before transferring the design to his skin. He pulls the paper away and looks up at Kendall, raising an eyebrow. "How's it look?"

"It looks good," Kendall says, nodding slowly. "Perfect, even."

"Alright." Luke moves away and starts putting the tattoo gun together and Kendall watches with fascination, his eyes going wide when he realizes that this is really about to happen. It doesn't take long for Luke to get everything set up and he nods at Kendall, motioning for him to lay back on the table, before putting some ointment on his skin. "Ready?"

Kendall looks over to where Carlos is and swallows hard, nodding as he turns back to Luke. "Ready," he says.

Luke grabs the machine and dips the needles into a small cup filled with black ink before putting them against Kendall's skin, starting with the first line. It hurts like a bitch and Kendall curses loudly, letting his head fall back against the table as he screws his eyes shut, trying to think about something other than the pain.

His curses pull Carlos away from Logan and he comes over, taking Kendall's hand in his own, linking their fingers together. After a while, the pain goes away and Kendall opens his eyes to look up at Carlos, smiling at him.

"How ya doing, champ?" Carlos asks, moving his fingers over the back of Kendall's.

"Good, doesn't hurt much anymore."

Luke moves away and Kendall looks down at the outlining, breathing softly.

"Does it look good?" Luke asks, switching needles out.

"Looks great," Kendall mumbles, before laying back, smiling at Carlos. "Doesn't it?"

Carlos looks over at Kendall's arm and nods, smirking. "Looks pretty good, baby."

Another moment passes and Luke comes back to start the shading; Kendall closes his eyes when he feels the needles against his skin again, humming quietly as he plays with Carlos' fingers idly. He's used to the pain now and he listens to the hum of the machine as Luke shades his tattoo.

When Luke stops and the machine cuts off, Kendall opens his eyes and raises a brow. "Are we done?"

"We are done," Luke says, laughing. "Just have to clean it up a bit, then you can look at it in the mirror."

Kendall nods and bites his lip, staring at the ceiling while Luke cleans the tattoo up, before moving away. "Alright," he says, motioning to a full-length mirror a few feet away. "Let me know how it looks."

"Will do!" Kendall moves off the table and stands, heading toward the mirror, his heart pounding in his chest. When he stands in front of the mirror, he looks at his reflection and breathes softly through his nose, staring at the colours Luke picked for the rest of the tattoo. The banner behind the treble clef and the other notes is shaded in a pale blue, with a darker blue shading around the edges, while the notes are black.

"What do you think?" Luke asks, coming up behind Kendall.

Blinking, Kendall looks up and smiles at Luke. "It's perfect, thank you!"

Luke smiles and nods, motioning to his station again. "Let's get you patched up and out of here, shall we?"

The three of them walk back to Luke's station and Kendall sits down on the edge of the table, holding his arm out to the artist, giggling a little when he applies an ointment on his skin, before putting a bandage on it. Once that's taped in place, Kendall stands up and grabs his flannel shirt, tossing it over his shoulder as he and Carlos follow Luke to the counter to pay.

After paying and listening to Luke explain the aftercare to them, Kendall and Carlos go to where Camille and Logan are sitting, grinning at them. "Alright, let's get out of here, huh?"

"Thank god," Logan says, grinning at Kendall. "It took forever for your tattoo, man!"

"How long did it take for yours?"

Logan shrugs and stands up. "Not too long; the design was already in one of their books, so.."

"Lucky," Kendall says, laughing as he moves to the door, pushing it open; Carlos, Logan, and Camille follow him out to the car.

"Am I driving back?" Logan asks, looking up at Kendall with squinted eyes.

Kendall looks at Logan and then to Carlos, smiling. "Let's let Carlos drive," he says, licking his lips slowly.

"Seriously?" Carlos asks, raising his eyebrows.

"If you're not in too much pain, yeah." Kendall moves to the car and opens the passenger side door. "Who's getting in the back?"

"Me and Logan," Camille says, smiling brightly as she moves to the car, opening the passenger side door. She slides into the backseat and sits behind the passenger seat, waiting for Logan to get in with her.

They all get in the car after Camille and Carlos starts it once they're all inside, backing out of the parking spot before heading back to Kendall's house, holding his hand the whole way. When they get back to the Knight residence, Carlos parks in the driveway and turns the car off, getting out quickly when Logan complains that he needs to piss.

Logan scrambles out of the car and runs up the porch, twisting the door knob frantically. "Come on, it's locked!"

"We're coming!" Kendall shakes his head and moves toward the porch with Carlos and Camille, taking the keys from his boyfriend when they get closer to the front door. He pushes Logan out of the way and unlocks the door, pushing it open just seconds before his friend runs into the house, moving upstairs quickly. "Wow, he really had to go, huh?"

Camille and Carlos laugh, following Kendall into the house. "Do you know what Logan got?" Camille asks, kicking her shoes off at the door.

"Nope," Kendall says, shrugging as he takes his own shoes off. "I'll see it later, though."

"And you'll get to see Kendall's tattoo," Carlos says, smiling at Camille.

"Do you know what I  _really_  want to see?" She says, smirking at Kendall and Carlos. "I really wanna see your nipple rings."

Carlos blushes and slips his shirt off, balling it up before throwing it over the back of the couch. "There," he says, making a swiping motion across his chest, blushing more when Camille squeals.

"Those are hot!"

Laughing, Kendall leans down to kiss Carlos' cheek. "They are pretty sexy," he whispers, moving a hand around Carlos' back.

"Yeah, yeah, look at 'em while you can."

Camille pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. "Does that mean you're going to walk around here with a shirt on all the time, instead of taking advantage of the fact that you _have_  a reason to be half naked?"

"Only when you're around," Carlos teases, winking at Camille.

"That is mean!" Camille says, holding a hand over her mouth dramatically.

Laughing, Carlos shrugs a shoulder and grins. "I never claimed to be a nice guy," he says, nonchalantly.

The three of them joke back and forth until Logan comes back downstairs, joining them. He asks about Kendall's tattoo and laughs at Carlos' piercings for a while before looking at his watch, making a face.

"What's that face for?" Kendall asks, raising a brow.

"We should get going," Logan says, sighing. "I'm, uh, meeting the parents..."

Carlos stares at his best friend before giggling. "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope," Camille answers, sighing as she pats Logan on the arm. "My parents want to meet the boy I've been seeing, so they asked me to invite Logan over today."

"Awkward," Kendall says in a sing-song voice, grinning when Camille reaches out to smack him. "I mean, I hope that goes well for all of the parties involved."

"If you two don't hear from me for a while, it's because Camille's father has killed me and I'm dead."

"Don't be dramatic," Carlos teases, lightly punching Logan on the arm.

Logan sighs and shrugs, leading Camille to the door, stopping so she can put her shoes on. "I'll text you after, let you know how it went," he says, nodding to both Kendall and Carlos.

"Sounds good, man." Shoving his hands into his pockets, Carlos watches his best friend leave, shutting the door behind him and Camille once they're on the porch. He sighs and turns to Kendall, smiling. "How's the arm feel?"

"Feels fine. Kind of burns, though," Kendall complains, pouting a bit. "And I'm kind of tired... you wanna go upstairs and lay down for a bit?"

Carlos nods and holds his hand out, lacing his fingers with Kendall's as they go upstairs, moving into his room. Once they're inside, Kendall takes his tank top off and tosses it onto the floor as he wiggles out of his jeans, kicking them away. He falls onto the bed when he's just in his boxers and smiles when Carlos joins him, pressing against Kendall as much as he can.

Leaning down, Kendall kisses Carlos softly and smiles against his lips. "They do look sexy, you know."

"Shuddup," Carlos grumbles, smiling at Kendall a few seconds later. "And thanks; you look pretty sexy with your tattoo, too."

Kendall hums and lays his head against Carlos', breathing in deeply as he lays his left arm on the bed beside him. He closes his eyes and starts falling asleep, staying like that for a few hours until Carlos wakes him up and tells him the time. Once he realizes how late it's gotten, Kendall goes downstairs with Carlos and orders food; they watch TV for a few hours and eat, before Carlos leaves for the night, apologizing for not being able to stay.

When Carlos leaves, Kendall goes back to his room and takes the bandage off his tattoo before getting into bed. He looks at his tattoo for a while and traces his fingers over it, keeping them an inch away from the actual tattoo. After a while, Kendall lays his arm down and falls back asleep, dreaming of going to Boston with Carlos and having a long, happy life with him.

* * *

  
***** Yes, I did turn Lucy Stone into a boy and no, I have no regrets. :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: awkward family car rides, talk of past abuse in a relationship, talk of past arguing in a relationship, talk of past jealousy in a relationship]

A week later, Kendall's standing in the living room in his boxers and a tank top, with a piece of toast in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other, watching his parents flit around the room anxiously, both of them mumbling quietly to themselves. It's a little after seven in the morning and Kendall yawns loudly, finishing his toast before washing it down with a long sip of juice, nearly spitting it out when his father runs into him with a heavy suitcase.

"Sorry Kendall," Christopher apologies quickly, moving toward the door.

Kendall swallows what's in his mouth and shrugs. "It's fine," he says, yawning once the words are out, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. "When's your flight?"

"Not until nine." Jennifer comes up behind him and moves around, heading to the door with Christopher, setting a suitcase down before turning back to Kendall. "Are you taking us?"

"I guess so."

Christopher looks at him and smiles softly. "You sure? We can call a taxi," he says, rubbing his hands together.

"I'm  _sure_ ," Kendall says, waving a hand toward his father, before downing the rest of the juice in his glass. "Let me go upstairs and get changed, then I'll be ready to leave when you are."

Without saying another word, Kendall turns and takes his glass back into the kitchen, setting it down in the sink before half-running through the living room and up the stairs. He yawns loudly as he goes into his room and shuts the door behind him, moving toward the dresser quickly, rubbing at his eye with one hand as he opens a drawer with the other. Once he has it open, Kendall grabs a tight Brand New t-shirt out and tosses it over his shoulder, before opening another drawer to get a pair of jeans.

He moves to the bed and drops his clothes onto the mattress, yawning once more as he takes his tank top off, throwing it behind him before grabbing his shirt, slipping it on quickly. Next, he pulls his jeans on and jumps into them a little, buttoning and zipping them as he makes his way to the bathroom, flicking the light on quickly before looking at himself in the mirror. Frowning, Kendall runs a hand through his hair and tries to flatten it, spending two minutes on it before giving up and turning to exit the bathroom, turning the light on his way out.

After stuffing his phone and wallet into his pockets, Kendall grabs his belt and a pair of socks before going back downstairs, slipping his belt through the loops before buckling it. He sits down on the bottom stair and slips his socks on quickly, glancing over to where his parents are standing; his mother is going through her bag one last time, lips barely moving to signal that she's talking to herself. Kendall thinks she's probably making a mental list and he snorts, pushing himself up onto his feet before stepping off the stairs.

"I'm ready," he announces, running both hands over his head and bending his arms behind it.

"Your mother's not," Christopher says, letting out an exasperated sigh.

Kendall rolls his eyes and chuckles, moving to grab a pair of shoes, slipping them on quickly. "What're you doing anyway, ma?"

"Making sure I have everything," his mother answers as she straightens up, zipping her suitcase once more. "And I'm ready now, thank you very much." She turns and glares at her son and husband, causing them both to grin at each other.

"Who's car are we taking?" Kendall asks, looking at his parents with a raised brow.

Christopher shrugs and grabs a key ring off the table, tossing them at Kendall. "Guess we'll take the Lexus, unless you want to take your mother's car?"

"I'm fine with taking the Lexus," Kendall says, his tone enthusiastic as he hooks his finger through the ring of keys. "Come on, slowpokes, let's get this show on the road."

"We don't need to be there for a while," Jennifer says, teeth worrying over her bottom lip. "Are you sure you're going to be alright here by yourself?"

Kendall sighs and rolls his eyes, letting his head fall back as he groans. "I'll be fine, mom! If being alone is too much for me to handle, I'll lock everything up, turn the alarm system on, and go stay with Carlos and his family; his mom already said that I have an open invitation to come stay whenever I want," he answers, dropping his chin back to his chest, flashing a smile. "And Mrs. Bitters from down the street has already agreed to check up on me, right?"

"Right." Jennifer nods and wrings her hands together, still chewing on her lip nervously. "And you're  _sure_  that Mr. and Mrs. Garcia said you could come over if you got too lonely?"

"Jennifer," Christopher interjects, putting a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Kendall will be just fine; he's got a lot of people to look after him, and we'll call him once a day if that will make you feel better."

Pursing her lips, Jennifer looks between Christopher and Kendall, nodding. "I guess so," she says, sighing heavily before grabbing her suitcase and her carry on, slipping the strap over her shoulder. "And I guess we should get going."

Christopher grabs the rest of the bags and Kendall opens the door for them, keeping it open until they're out before shutting and locking it. He follows his parents to the car and watches his father put the suitcases in the trunk, yawning as he scratches the top of his head, turning to smile at his mom over the roof of the car.

"You'll have a great time," Kendall says and Jennifer nods, smiling at her son before getting into the car; he follows suit and puts his seat belt on, putting the keys in the ignition before turning the engine on.

Soon, they're all piled in the car; Christopher is in the back and Jennifer is in the front while Kendall drives them to the airport, turning the radio station until he hears some old classic rock playing. He turns the volume down low and settles back against the seat, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel, letting the slightly uncomfortable silence sink in.

"So," Christopher starts, rubbing his hands together slowly, "what are you planning on doing tonight?"

Kendall shrugs a shoulder and flicks his gaze to the rear view mirror, looking at his dad for a second. "Probably going to hang out with Carlos and Logan, maybe Camille and a few other people we know," he answers, turning his attention back to the road, stopping at a red light.

"No parties," his mother says, using her 'strict mom' voice.

"No parties," Kendall mimics, nodding slowly. "We'll probably go to Logan's tonight or to Gustavo's. I haven't seem him in a while, so we might go ambush him and hang out at his mansion."

"Mansion, really?"

"Well," Kendall makes a thinking face and starts driving when the light turns green. "It's not really a  _mansion_ -mansion, but it's pretty fucking big. He threw a party there a while back and it was insane! There had to have been like, hundreds of people there, no joke."

Jennifer sighs and sinks down into her seat. "I don't like you hanging out with a big crowd of people," she says, folding her hands onto her lap as Kendall turns down another street.

"Why?" He asks, cocking a brow.

"Because, there's a lot of bad influences out there."

Licking his lips, Kendall nods and swallows. "I get that, but Gustavo is totally cool, along with everyone else he knows. If they weren't, I wouldn't hang out with them."

"But you hang out with people that make you get tattoos," Jennifer counters, glancing at Kendall's arm.

"This was my own decision," he says flatly, gripping the wheel tightly. "Besides, Carlos is like, so far from being a bad influence that he's practically a saint." Okay, that's a lie, but Kendall figures his parents don't need to know about the drinking and the pot smoking, especially since they  _actually like_  Carlos.

Christopher sighs from the backseat and then laughs. "I don't think tattoos are bad at all," he says, running a hand down his face and his freshly-shaven jaw. "And Kendall's looks fine; it's nothing vulgar or graphic and it's simple, clean. Respectable."

"Thank you, dad," Kendall says, smiling as he stops at another light. "Besides, you guys should see Logan's; his is completely dorky and has no real meaning at all."

"What'd he get?" His dad asks, raising a brow.

"He got the Batman symbol tattooed between his shoulders."

They all laugh at that and Christopher sighs, mumbling, "Batman is pretty cool."

"Mm," Kendall hums in agreement as he starts driving again. "Logan's like, completely in love with him and he says he has almost everything Batman related you can get. I mean, it's a nice tattoo and I'm not knocking it, but at least it's not some gang sign or something."

"And Carlos?" Jennifer asks, quirking a brow.

Blushing, Kendall swallows thickly and then clears his throat. "He, uh, actually got a piercing."

No one asks the inevitable question and it's almost as though his parents want him to willingly volunteer that information. It makes him feel hot when he thinks about telling his parents about his boyfriend's nipple rings and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat again, keeping his eyes on the road. When no one asks and the silence becomes too much to bear, Kendall sighs deeply and lifts a hand, pinching the bridge of his nose lightly.

"He got his nipples pierced, okay! You can both stop looking at me like that," he says, words rushed and voice cracking in a few places from embarrassment. Kendall can feel his parents' eyes on him and he swallows, looking out toward the highway, seeing the airport just past it.

"That's an interesting choice," his mother comments, chuckling a bit. "And Camille, she didn't get anything?"

Kendall shakes his head and sighs, happy to be off the Carlos subject. "Nope, she's underage," he says, shrugging as he turns onto the highway, pushing the gas pedal down as he looks over his shoulder before pulling off the entrance ramp.

"You can have Camille over anytime you want," Jennifer says, patting Kendall's arm once they're on the highway. "I think it would be nice if you had her stay over one or two nights, just so you're not alone."

"I already plan on having her over when she's not with Logan." Chuckling, Kendall moves his left hand off the steering wheel and lays his arm on the door panel in front of the window, yawning quietly as he drives, eyes flicking down to the speedometer. He watches as the needle goes to seventy and he eases off the gas, looking back at the road. "So, are you guys excited to be going to Paris?"

Christopher laughs and nods, turning to look out the window. "I brushed up on my French just for this trip," he admits, laughing again as he turns back to look out the windshield. "I bet you're happy we'll be out of the house for a while, huh?"

"Not really, no," Kendall answers, shrugging before looking over his shoulder, flicking the left turn signal on before merging into the other lane. "I'm happy that you guys are going to work things out, but I will miss you guys."

"We'll miss you too," Jennifer says, smiling. "And we'll be back before you know it."

Kendall nods and merges into another lane, biting his lip as they get closer to the airport and everyone goes quiet. Some old Bad Company song is playing on the radio and Kendall focuses on that, flicking the turn signal on as he pulls into the turning lane, waiting for all the cars to go past before turning and heading into the airport parking lot.

He drives up to the drop off and parks the car in front of the door, scrambling out to go around the car, opening the trunk quickly before grabbing his parents' luggage out. Setting it on the ground, Kendall watches his parents come around and he smiles at them, holding his arms open when his mother gets closer. They hug for a moment and, when they pull away, Jennifer kisses Kendall's cheek and pats it lightly.

"Be good, okay? No drinking, no drinking  _and_  driving, no smoking, no doing anything illegal or dangerous, okay? I've got my girls at the hospital keeping an eye out for you and your friends in the ER."

"Really, mom?" Kendall says, his tone joking. "I'll be fine, alright? You two have a safe trip and call me when you land."

Jennifer moves away and grabs her suitcase, smiling at Kendall one last time. "I love you."

"Love you too, ma." Smiling, Kendall makes a shooing motion and laughs. "Aw, come on, don't cry."

"Jennifer," Christopher says, stepping toward her; she waves him off and wipes her eyes, giving Kendall a little wave before turning to wheel her suitcase toward the doors. "She's just worried about you, Kendall."

Kendall nods and smiles, looking at his dad. "I know she is," he says, chewing on his lip. "Take care of her, okay? Don't fuck anything over there and break her heart more, please. If you do, I may not forgive you. Ever."

"I won't," his father says and, strangely, Kendall believes him. "You take care of yourself, okay? Go shopping for the things you still need for Boston - and do it before you forget."

"I will."

Pursing his lips together, Christopher nods and pulls Kendall into a side-hug, wrapping an arm around him. "I love you, you know that, don't you? Hopefully, when we come back, your mother and I will be in a better place and we can be a real family," he says, giving Kendall a squeeze before dropping his arm.

"Hope so," Kendall says, chuckling as he lifts a hand, scratching the back of his neck, watching his father gather his luggage. "And I'll be fine; mom will call me once or twice a day to make sure I'm not dead and that I'm eating. She might even call Carlos' mom and have her confirm that I'm alive and breathing."

"She will," Christopher says, laughing as he slings his carry on over his shoulder, sighing. "See you in two weeks, son."

"See ya." Moving his hand off his neck, Kendall waves to his dad and watches him walk through the doors, disappearing behind them. Once his dad is gone, Kendall gets back into the car and goes around to the exit of the parking lot, getting back onto the road; he goes over the speed limit until he gets off the exit ramp and he drives normally the entire way home, listening to the radio loudly.

By the time Kendall gets home, he's tired and he wants nothing more than to go back inside and sleep, but he knows that he has to clean the house first. He grins and gets out of the car, locking it with the remote before heading into the house, tossing the keys onto the table as he looks around the house, wondering what he should do first.

The night before, Carlos and Logan had convinced him to throw a party the night after his parents left and Kendall caved after several dirty promises and text messages from Carlos. They also told him to put anything that was breakable away so that no one would destroy the house, so he set out to do that first, grabbing vases off tables around the living room, before taking them upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms.

For the next couple of hours, Kendall puts every fragile object in the guest room and locks them in there, making sure that no one will touch them during the party. He also puts the more expensive tables in the garage and locks that too, before heading back inside to collapse on the couch, throwing an arm over his face. Yawning loudly, Kendall shuts his eyes and shifts on the couch, crossing his legs as he gets comfortable.

He's about to doze off when his pocket vibrates and he glares down at his jeans, grumbling something about wanting a nap as he pulls his phone out, tapping the screen. When it comes up, Kendall instantly perks up when he sees a text message from Carlos and he opens it quickly, reading the message: _'On my way to your place, be there in ten.'_

 _'I'll be here; door's unlocked.'_  Kendall sends the message and lays his phone on his stomach, running his fingers over the back of the case as he stares at the ceiling, sighing contentedly. He revels in the silence, knowing that the house will be filled with people in just a few hours and he laughs, licking his lips, silently curing Carlos and Logan for persuading him into throwing a party. It's not all their fault, of course, because Kendall had been planning on throwing a party anyway; of course, he was going to wait a few days, but Carlos and Logan always seemed to do things big and right away. Who was Kendall to keep them from partying in his empty house?

Settling his head against the arm of the couch, Kendall sighs and closes his eyes, tapping out a rhythm on the back of his phone, listening out for the sound of Carlos' car. He lays like that for a while and breathes evenly through his nose, eventually dozing off and moving his hand to his chest, curling it up against the fabric.

When Carlos gets to the Knight house, he comes in quietly and locks the door behind him, kicking his shoes off at the door before walking into the living room, his forehead furrowing as he looks for Kendall. He moves over to the couch and peeks over the back, seeing his boyfriend spread out across the cushions with his head turned toward the TV, snoring lightly. Carlos laughs and moves a hand to Kendall's, giving it a light slap which causes him to grumble and turn over onto his side, sending his phone tumbling to the ground.

"Kendall, wake up." Carlos gives Kendall's shoulder a shake and laughs when Kendall mumbles 'go away' in his sleep. Getting an idea, Carlos goes around and crawls onto the couch, straddling Kendall's legs carefully as he leans down, kissing his ear gently, breathing against it. He bites it and tugs the lobe before pulling away, running a hand over the front of Kendall's jeans, pressing his hand against it gently, laughing when he moans and twists underneath him.

"What... what's goin' on?" Kendall asks, slurring the words out as he blinks sleepily at Carlos, pouting. "Oh, it's just you," he says, yawning as he lays his head back down, smiling.

Carlos pouts and rubs Kendall's crotch again. " _Just_  me? Why do you sound so disappointed?"

"Not disappointed, just glad that it's you and not some freaky robber that wants to grope my junk before clearing the house of all the valuables," Kendall replies, licking his lips slowly. "And I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Carlos whispers, leaning down to kiss Kendall's cheek. "But I didn't come here  _just_  to have a little fun before the party," he adds, moving his hand away from Kendall's jeans, sliding it up his stomach slowly.

Narrowing his eyes, Kendall turns and glares at Carlos. "Then why'd you grope me?"

"Had to wake you up some how."

"You are evil," Kendall mumbles, shaking his head as he lays his cheek against the cushion again. "So evil, in fact, that I think I may just fall asleep and leave you to do other evil things."

Laughing, Carlos slides off Kendall's legs and perches on the arm of the couch. "Come on, I don't wanna sit here and watch you sleep all afternoon. Do you know how creepy that is?" Carlos asks; Kendall shakes his head and huffs. "It's like, Derek Hale level creepy!"

"Does that make me Stiles or Scott?"

"Would you rather be the werewolf or the werewolf's best friend?"

Kendall thinks about that for a moment and shrugs. "Seeing as you're already the werewolf, I'll be the human."

"Hey," Carlos says, patting Kendall's ass lightly. "Stiles is adorable and he's a vital part of the pack."

"Are you saying that I'm adorable and a vital part of  _our_  pack?"

"Mhm, that's exactly what I'm saying." Smiling, Carlos gives Kendall's ass a hard smack and pulls his hand away when his boyfriend yelps.

Kendall laughs and rolls over onto his back, sitting up so he's closer to Carlos. "And you're the sexy werewolf, huh?"

"I dunno about the sexy part," Carlos mumbles, moving a hand through Kendall's sleep-mussed hair. "But sure, if you think so, then I am."

"I definitely think you're sexy." Moving his hands along Carlos' legs, Kendall smiles and leans up, straining to kiss his boyfriend before sitting back, licking his lips. "When's everyone coming over?"

Carlos moves his hand down the back of Kendall's head, resting it on the nape of his neck. "Logan and Gustavo will be here around six with the kegs and the rest of the booze, then everyone else should start pouring in around seven."

"How much booze are we talking?"

"I dunno, a couple of kegs at least? And a few cases of liquor that didn't get consumed from Gustavo's last party," Carlos answers, moving his free hand along Kendall's arm, fingertips tracing his tattoo. "But, I should probably tell you something."

Nodding, Kendall moves his hand to Carlos', trapping it in his own. "I'm all ears," he says, smirking.

"Okay," Carlos sighs, taking a deep breath before huffing quickly. "There's a lot I haven't told you, but I should probably give you the rundown right now, in case he comes by."

"He?" Kendall blinks, knitting his brows together. "What are you talking about?"

Carlos takes another breath and licks his lips, swallowing thickly. "I'm talking about one of my exes, Kendall. His name is Sam and he's a couple of years older than me," he explains, looking down to avoid Kendall's eyes.

The world goes quiet around them and Kendall lifts his hand, running his fingers down the length of Carlos' jaw, cupping his chin before pulling his gaze up until their eyes are locked. He smiles softly, brushing the pad of his thumb along the outline of Carlos' lower lip, giving him a slight nod, letting him know that he can keep going.

"I met him when I was eighteen and he was twenty-four, the oldest man I had ever been with and I felt pretty badass, you know? Being with a guy that was six years older than me, but I should have known the age gap was a bad omen." Carlos pauses and chuckles, licking his lips slowly as he closes his eyes, breathing in deeply through his nose before he continues, "Anyway, he asked me out and I said yes, of course, because I wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to be with someone that gorgeous."

Kendall nods and listens to Carlos talk, swiping his thumb across the other boy's cheekbone.

After another pause, Carlos laughs and wraps his hand around Kendall's wrist. "We went out a few times and things were great - better than great, actually; they were perfect - and then he asked if I wanted to be his boyfriend. I thought it was a little weird, y'know, cause he was twenty-four and the term 'boyfriend' is usually exclusive to teenagers and little girls with crushes," he says, opening his eyes, locking them on Kendall's green irises. "I really wish I would have said no."

"Why's that?" Kendall asks and it's the first time he's said anything for a few minutes; he feels like he shouldn't say anything, but he can't help but ask questions, though he has a feeling where Carlos' story is going.

"Because the whole relationship was fucked up," Carlos answers, laughing bitterly. "My, uh, birthday came not too long after the start of the relationship and Sam took me out of town that weekend, promising me a romantic getaway at his parents' cabin upstate and I believed him."

Kendall tries not to notice the way Carlos' voice breaks when he speaks, but he does, and he swallows hard.

"We get up there and I notice that we're not the only ones at the cabin; there are like, four other cars there and people hanging out on the porch, drinking and smoking. I told Sam that I didn't want to stay there, you know, if other people were going to be there because he promised me that we'd be alone, but he said it would be fine."

Swallowing again, Kendall shakes his head and rasps out, "You don't have to keep going."

"I want you to know," Carlos says, voice firm. "I want you to know that I'm not perfect and that I carry around a lot of baggage, most of it things that I've forgotten or that I'm trying to forget."

"But - " Kendall starts, but Carlos shakes his head.

"Just listen, okay? And then we'll talk about something else; I'll tell you about the time I threw up in third grade because Logan made me eat glue."

Despite himself, Kendall laughs at that and nods, sighing.

Carlos smiles and licks his lips, nodding his head slowly. "Anyway - we went inside and there were people everywhere; the house smelled liked pot and liquor, like someone had thrown a bunch of weed around and doused the carpets in booze. I told Sam that I didn't want to be there, again, but he told me that no one would hurt me, that they were all his friends and I still believed him," he pauses and laughs, shaking his head. "I guess that was my fault, huh? Believing everything he said, hanging on every single word like it was the gospel or something."

Kendall closes his eyes for a second and blinks them open, looking at Carlos, who starts talking again.

"Then we went into the kitchen and he grabs me a cup of beer, shoving it at me while he says happy birthday to me. It was a nice gesture, at the time, and I smiled back and said thanks, before downing what was in the cup. We partied for the rest of the night and I fell asleep on the bed in the master bedroom with some girl laying next to me," Carlos pauses again and makes a disgusted face, wrinkling his nose a bit. "When I woke up, Sam was no where to be seen and I asked everyone I could find if they knew where he went and one guy said he went back home.

What a prick, right?" Carlos asks, laughing bitterly again. "Anyway, I asked if someone could give me a ride back home and this one guy says yeah, he'll do it, but I have to drive to the nearest gas station first so he can get coffee. No problem, I'm fine with driving and I honestly would have done it the whole way, but the guy wouldn't let me."

"That was nice," Kendall murmurs, rubbing small circles against Carlos' cheek with his thumb.

Nodding, Carlos smiles and closes his eyes. "He was very nice; he bought me breakfast and let me pick the radio station, even listened to me talk about my new job - which, at the time, was with Gustavo - and he didn't complain once. Not like Sam would have; he always complained when I turned the radio or even said anything while we were in the car. Anyway, the guy took me home and we were sitting in my driveway, talking about things and I leaned over and kissed him. Well, that kiss escalated into us crawling into the backseat and I nearly had my pants off, when I heard a familiar voice."

 _Oh no_ , Kendall thinks, swallowing thickly as he braces himself for the next part of the story.

"So, Sam starts to yell and I get my pants done up before I get out of the car, telling the other guy - I think his name was Jack - to stay where he was, but he didn't listen to me. He got out of the car and went up to Sam, telling him to calm down, but Sam wouldn't listen; he kept yelling that I was a cheater and kept asking why I was with him if I wanted to fuck someone else. I told him to stop, you know, because he was being loud and I didn't want him to wake anyone up, but he still didn't listen." Carlos stops and takes in a ragged breath, running his hand down Kendall's forearm.

"Anyway," Carlos says, laughing quietly, "what I'm trying to say is this: Sam beat the shit out of me and Jack - or whatever his name is - all because I was in the backseat with him. Our dicks were in our pants but I guess he didn't care about that when he was kicking me in the ribs." He pauses again and winces at the memory, shaking his head slowly. "My dad got there a little while after Sam had fled and he called 911, got us to the hospital and I was in there for a while..."

"What happened to Sam?" Kendall's voice is shaky and quiet when he speaks, his emotions coming to the surface.

Snorting, Carlos sighs and slumps forward, leaning against Kendall. "He came to the hospital a few days after the fight happened and apologized to me; he promised that it would never happen again, but I told him to go fuck himself. Still, he kept saying he was sorry and that he'd make it up to me, if only I'd take him back... and then he said that he loved me," he says, burying his face against Kendall's shoulder. "I took him back because I really believed that he loved me, but he didn't."

"He did it again, didn't he? Hit you, I mean."

"Yeah, a lot over the next couple of months. I kicked him to the curb when he slapped me in front of my sister and I told him I was gonna press charges, but I never did." Carlos sniffles and pulls away, huffing out a breath. "The reason I told you all of that is because Sam heard about the party  _I_ was throwing and told one of my friends that he might stop by."

Kendall clenches his jaw and runs his hand up and down Carlos' back. "Is Freight Train coming?"

"I think so," Carlos says, shrugging a shoulder. "Why?"

"Because I might just pay Mr. Train to be our security," Kendall says, jaw still clenched. "And if he's not coming, I'll call him myself and offer him whatever he wants to make sure that asshole doesn't come in here... because if he does? I might end up beating the shit out of him myself."

Carlos laughs and leans in, kissing Kendall softly. "I love you," he says, rubbing his thumbs against Kendall's jaws.

"I love you too," Kendall replies, kissing Carlos back before resting their foreheads together. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's alright. Not your fault, right? I guess it was my own."

"No, it wasn't  _your_  fault," Kendall says, clenching his jaw so hard that his teeth hurt from grinding together. "But, you don't have to deal with that asshole anymore, okay? If he comes tonight, Freight Train will keep him out and I'll make sure of it, alright?"

Nodding, Carlos smiles and bites his lip. "Wanna hear the story about me getting sick in the third grade now?"

"Yeah," Kendall laughs, moving his hands up and down Carlos' arms. "I wanna hear this story."

"Okay, so you know how Logan is sneaky and he can trick you into pretty much anything?" Carlos asks and laughs when he sees Kendall roll his eyes before nodding his head. "Well, that's how he's always been, even in the third grade when you're supposed to be all sweet and innocent."

"Logan's  _not_  sweet an innocent?"

Carlos swats Kendall on the arm and they both laugh. "Believe it or not, no - he's really not. Anyway, we were in art glass one day and we were using that super thick paste, you know the stuff that comes in the jar with the little paint brush attached to the bottom of the lid? Well, Logan pulled it out and pointed it at me and said something about it looking like marshmallows. I replied with something along the lines of, _'I wonder if it tastes like them?'_  and Logan told me to taste it, that it smelled like marshmallows and, well, I did it."

Kendall laughs and buries his face against Carlos' chest to muffle the laughter.

"I took a small bite and told Logan that it didn't taste like marshmallows. He told me that it would taste better if we added colourful things to it because everything tastes better when it's blue and red and purple, right?" Carlos chuckles and licks his lip nervously, shaking his head as he leans his chin against the top of Kendall's head. "Well, he threw some glitter into it, stirred the mixture up, and told me to try it. I did and I maybe ate a little too much before getting sick all over the floor."

"Did you get some on Logan?" Kendall asks, his words muffling against Carlos' chest.

"A little bit, yeah," Carlos answers, laughing again. "And my dad came to get me and I spent the rest of the day in bed, feeling embarrassed because I ate paste and glitter.

Pulling away, Kendall shakes his head and grins. "Wow... and to think, you were still friends with him after that."

"He's my best friend, what can I say?"

"Mm, I think it's cute that Logan tricked you into eating glitter and paste," Kendall mumbles, trying not to laugh.

"Didn't someone try to do that to you when you were a kid?"

Kendall shakes his head again and blushes. "I ate crayons all on my own once, when I was in kindergarten."

"Okay, now  _that_  is fucking cute!" Carlos leans in and kisses the tip of Kendall's nose, giggling. "So, wanna take a nap now? We've got some time to kill before Logan and Gustavo get here."

"A regular nap or a special nap?"

Carlos rolls his eyes and smacks Kendall's bicep before standing up. "A regular nap; we'll wait until everyone's gone after the party to take a special nap. Or maybe we'll take a special bath in your parents' bathtub."

The thought of being in his parents' Jacuzzi tub with Carlos makes Kendall swallow thickly and he stands up, wrapping his arms around Carlos from behind. He leans down and kisses his neck softly, humming against his boyfriend's skin for a moment before pulling away and allowing Carlos to lead him upstairs. The whole way, Kendall stares at Carlos' ass and smacks it when they get to the top of the stairs, grinning mischievously as he walks past Carlos, moving toward his bedroom.

When they're in his room, Kendall pulls his jeans off and lays down on the bed, taking a deep breath as he closes his eyes, settling a hand low on his stomach as he watches Carlos take his own jeans off, letting them fall into a pile next to the bed. He climbs onto the mattress when he's done and settles against Kendall's side, laying his head against the other boy's chest, listening to his heart beat.

Kendall nuzzles his chin against the top of Carlos' head and wraps an arm around him, holding him close as he closes his eyes slowly, yawning. It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep and he stays that way for a while, waking up once or twice when he thinks he hears something downstairs. After that, Kendall goes back to sleep and stays asleep until Carlos wakes him up around six o'clock that evening, telling him that Logan and Gustavo are downstairs.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: fighting, drinking, smoking.]

"Kendall, wake up and help us with the kegs!" When Kendall hears Logan's voice, he rolls over onto the bed and pulls a pillow over his head, clamping it down over his ears, praying that he's just in some realistic dream and that Logan is not, in reality, jumping on his bed. "Come on, dude! Litos said you were up," Logan says as he jumps, laughing quietly to himself.

Pulling the pillow away, Kendall turns and grumbles, "Go away, Logan."

"Kendall, Gustavo and Logan need our help." Carlos' voice cuts through the sound of springs squeaking and Kendall blinks his eyes sleepily, settling his gaze on his boyfriend, smiling. "Please help us?"

"Lemme put some pants on," he mumbles, rolling over before falling off the bed, cursing loudly.

Logan stops jumping and goes over to the edge of the mattress, looking down at Kendall. "You okay, dude?"

"Peachy," Kendall replies, pushing himself up on his elbows as he huffs. "I'm definitely awake now."

"Good, you can help carry kegs and booze in!" Logan smiles and turns around, going across the mattress before jumping onto the floor. He goes out of the room and Kendall stands up, running a hand over his ass, frowning at Carlos who looks like he's been trying to hold a giggle in for a while.

"Go ahead, laugh at me."

Carlos lets a giggle slip out and shakes his head, pursing his lips together. "I'm not going to laugh at you, baby," he says, moving around the end of the bed before wrapping his arms around Kendall's waist, kissing his cheek lightly.

"Uh-huh," Kendall says, yawning as he buries his face against Carlos' hair. "Why can't they handle the kegs on their own?"

"Because... Gustavo ordered too many."

"How many is too many?"

"There's ten kegs," Carlos admits, laughing as he presses his face against Kendall's chest. "There's like, six in Gustavo's truck and they somehow managed to stuff four into Logan's car."

Taking a deep breath, Kendall nods and straightens up, wrapping his arms around Carlos' neck. "I need pants," he mutters.

"I know." Carlos laughs and pulls away, going to grab Kendall's jeans off the floor, tossing them to him. "And you might want to check your phone - I think I heard it buzzing a while ago."

"I'll meet you downstairs," Kendall says, pulling his jeans on before doing them up, slipping a hand into his pocket, watching Carlos disappear out into the hall. Once he's gone, Kendall grabs his phone and taps the screen, seeing that there's a message from James; he frowns and reads it, swallowing hard at the message.

_'Heard you're having a party tonight'_

_'Yeah, why are you interested?'_  Kendall types the message and sends it, walking around the edge of his bed as he scrolls through his contacts, biting on his lower lip when he comes to Jo's name. He contemplates not inviting her but remembers the night a few weeks ago when she kissed him and thinks about how things have been off between them lately.

Figuring it won't hurt to invite her, Kendall taps her name and brings a message up, typing out:  _'Hey, Jo! Party at my house, you're invited.'_

Once the message is sent, Kendall slips his phone into his back pocket and goes into the hall, making his way to the steps, taking them quickly as he watches Gustavo and Logan carry in a keg through the front door. He stops on the bottom step and rocks back and forth on his heels before going to the door, stepping out onto the porch, eyes immediately going to the truck sitting in his driveway.

There are kegs galore on the back and Kendall swallows thickly, going over to the end of the truck where Carlos is standing; he smiles at his boyfriend and rubs his hands together, climbing onto the tailgate before standing on the bed of the truck. Once he's on the bed of the truck, Kendall grabs a keg and pulls it to the tailgate, hopping down before pulling it toward the end.

"Ready?" He asks, glancing at Carlos who nods his head; he nods back and they both grab a side of the keg, lifting it before taking it toward the porch. Kendall glances over his shoulder and takes the steps carefully, backing up through the door, the two of them maneuvering around Gustavo and Logan when they come toward them.

They carry the keg into the kitchen and set it down next to the other three, Kendall rubbing his hands against his jeans and frowning at the pain in his palms. Carlos rolls his eyes and goes back outside, leaving Kendall alone in the kitchen and he takes the time to check his messages, seeing the notification that he has two new texts.

He checks the one from Jo first, which reads: _'Are u sure u want me there?'_

 _'Of course I want you here,'_  he texts back, waiting until the message is sent before checking the text from James.

 _'Just wanted to see if I'm invited,'_  reads James' reply and Kendall chews on his lower lip, debating whether or not he should invite his ex-boyfriend over. After debating for a moment, he replies with a simple  _'No, you're not invited,'_  before stuffing his phone into his pocket as he makes his way outside again.

Kendall almost runs into Gustavo and Logan, who are carrying another keg into the house, but he moves out of the way just in time, laughing when Logan throws an insult at him. Shaking his head, Kendall moves outside and goes to the back of the truck, seeing Carlos on the bed, leaning over to move a keg. He licks his lips and stands at the tailgate, drumming his hands against it.

"Only four more after this one," Carlos says as he jumps down, standing next to Kendall.

"Awesome." Kendall laughs and grabs the keg when Carlos does, lifting it before taking it toward the house. Carlos backs up expertly and manages to move out of the way when Gustavo and Logan come toward the door, laughing as they move to the kitchen again, setting the keg down.

Once it's down, Kendall feels his phone go off and he pulls it out, checking the message from Jo.

_'I guess i can come'_

Kendall smiles and replies with: _'Great! Come any time you want. I'll see you soon.'_

He puts his phone away and slips an arm around Carlos' shoulders, steering him toward the door and past Gustavo and Logan as they carry yet another keg inside.

"The rest are in Logan's car," Gustavo says, grunting as he backs up toward the kitchen; Kendall nods and salutes him as he and Carlos make their way outside, heading toward Logan's car.

They get to it and Carlos opens the trunk all the way, revealing two kegs inside. "The other one in the backseat," he says, biting his lip as he looks at the kegs, almost like he's trying to figure out how to get them out.

Huffing, Kendall grabs the keg and starts pulling on it, groaning as he gets it out of the trunk and onto the ground, huffing as he looks up at Carlos with an accomplished grin. Carlos smiles back and leans down, grabbing one side of the keg before hefting it with Kendall, carrying it into the house.

When they get the rest of the kegs in, Kendall checks his phone and is surprised to see that he doesn't have any new messages; he frowns and wonders if Jo is really coming and shrugs it off, slipping his phone back into his pocket. Once they're all rested a little bit, Gustavo tells them that there's still a couple of cases of booze in the back of his truck and they head outside, loading their arms up before carrying the liquor into the house.

Kendall and Carlos set about putting bottles into the fridge so that they're cold and Gustavo enlists Logan's help in going to the grocery store, telling Kendall that they'll be back with food. He shakes his head and waves his friends off, watching them leave the house before turning to Carlos, smiling.

"Jo's coming by," he says, leaning against the counter as he crosses his arms over his chest. "And James heard about it, but I told him he wasn't invited."

"Will that really stop him from showing up?"

Shrugging, Kendall lifts a hand and runs it through his hair. "Probably not, but I'll tell Freight Train not to let him in, either."

"Good," Carlos says, smiling as he moves over to Kendall, slipping his hands along his hips. "Are you worried about tonight?"

"Why would I be worried?"

Carlos shrugs and thumbs across Kendall's hipbones. "I dunno. Maybe because there will be a bunch of people in your house drinking beer and smoking pot?"

"As long as nothing's broken, I'm fine." Kendall shivers and closes his eyes, looping an arm around Carlos' neck. "Anyway, I should be asking you if you're worried about Sam stopping by."

"Not really, no," Carlos admits, biting his lip. "I mean, if he does, Freight Train will keep him out, right?"

"Right," Kendall murmurs, opening his eyes slowly. "And if he somehow gets past Freight, I'll put him out myself."

Carlos chews his lip a little harder and makes a face.

"What?" Kendall asks, furrowing his brows.

"You're not going to fight him, are you?"

In all honesty, Kendall hadn't been thinking about what he'd do if Sam showed up, but fighting him was a definite possibility; he wants to destroy the man that hurt Carlos, even if it happened in the past. A part of him wants to let it all go and let Freight Train handle taking care of Sam, but another part of Kendall wants to punch the guy in the face and make him feel the pain that Carlos probably felt.

"Would you hate me if I did?"

Sighing, Carlos shrugs again and sucks on his lip lightly. "No, but I don't want you to do it," he says, voice soft.

"I can't make any promises," Kendall mutters, moving his hand to the back of Carlos' head. "If he comes here and tries to start shit then, yeah, I'm probably going to deck him... but if he comes and doesn't do anything, I'll let him slide."

"That sounds fair." Carlos leans up on his tiptoes and kisses Kendall softly, smiling against his lips. "But if you do punch him? Don't go overboard with it, please. Don't put him in the hospital or beat him within an inch of death."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head. "I won't do any of that, don't worry."

"Good," Carlos whispers, kissing Kendall again. "Have you heard from your parents yet?"

"Not yet; they probably won't land for quite a while."

Carlos nods slowly and moves his hand to Kendall's, playing wit his fingers quietly. The two of them fall silent and Kendall closes his eyes, smiling when Carlos starts to play with his fingers, humming quietly under his breath. He moves his free hand away from the back of Carlos' head and rests it on his side, thumbing across the fabric of his shirt.

Thinking that this is what it's going to be like for the next few weeks makes Kendall happy and he makes a noise in the back of his throat, opening his eyes to look down at Carlos, smiling. He wraps his fingers around Carlos' and brings his hand up, kissing each knuckle gently, lips brushing up and down the back of his hand, smiling against his skin. Carlos blushes and bites his lower lip, moving his free hand to Kendall's cheek, fingertips brushing along his skin slowly.

Breathing softly, Carlos closes his eyes and keeps skimming his fingertips along Kendall's cheek, dragging them down his jaw slowly before pressing his palm against Kendall's neck. He can feel the steady beat of his pulse and smiles, taking a deep breath before letting it out slowly, drumming his fingertips against Kendall's skin, reveling in the closeness and the fact that they're all alone in his house.

It's the little things that Kendall does that makes Carlos love him more and more each day. Like when his boyfriend kisses him softly, lips brushing against his in a pace that's almost too slow for him to bear or when he tangles their fingers together lazily, brushing his thumb against the back of Carlos'. It all makes him fall more in love with Kendall and that, honestly, scares Carlos because he knows that Kendall will be gone in a few weeks, leaving him alone in Minnesota.

He tries not to think about what his life will be like when Kendall leaves, but he can't help it; sometimes, it's the only thing he can think about and it ruins his whole day. Even when he's around Kendall and they're both happy and smiling, Carlos can't stop himself from wondering if Kendall will find someone in Boston who makes him happier than he did. The thoughts almost drive Carlos insane and he wants them to stop, but he knows that they won't - at least not until Kendall is gone.

"Carlos?" Kendall's voice is soft and it pulls Carlos from his thoughts; he blinks at his boyfriend and smiles. "You okay?"

 _No_ , Carlos thinks, but he nods his head slowly, smiling more. "I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"Cause you kind of spaced out."

"Oh," Carlos mutters, shrugging a shoulder. "I guess I was just enjoying being near you," he adds, biting the middle of his lip.

"I love you,' Kendall whispers before leaning in to kiss Carlos softly.

When Kendall pulls away, Carlos chases his lips and kisses him again, sucking on his lower lip until Kendall is groaning and pulling away. He eases away and licks across his own lips slowly, tasting Kendall on them and moaning quietly, giving his boyfriend a small, innocent smile.

"I love you too," he replies, biting at his lower lip again.

Kendall smiles and cups Carlos' jaw, thumbing across his cheek. "How many people do you think are coming tonight?"

"I dunno, close to a hundred? Maybe more," Carlos admits, hitching his shoulders before dropping them.

"A hundred," Kendall parrots, whistling softly. "I hope no one breaks anything... or has sex in my pool before me."

Carlos laughs and smacks Kendall on the arm playfully. "Oh hush," he mutters, leaning up to kiss his boyfriend's chin.

"And Camille's coming?"

"Yes, Logan called her when they got here and she said she'd be over in a little bit."

Humming, Kendall drops his head, resting it against Carlos'. "They're good together, aren't they?"

"They are," Carlos agrees, nodding slowly. "And we're good together, too."

"We're  _perfect_  together," Kendall corrects, grinning.

"No one's perfect."

Kendall raises a brow and grins more. "No  _one_ is, but the last time I checked, we were two people."

"Smart ass." Carlos laughs and swats Kendall's arm again.

Laughing, Kendall kisses the top of Carlos' head and wraps both arms around him, staying like that for a while, his eyes locked on his boyfriend's, a smile playing at the edge of his lips. They fall silent again and stay that way until someone bangs on the door and Carlos jumps, yelping when he hears the noise; Kendall rubs his arm and kisses his cheek before moving into the living room to answer the door.

He opens the door only to see Logan and Gustavo standing on the porch, their hands filled with grocery bags. "Jesus  _Christ_ ," he mumbles, stepping out of the way so that his friends can come in, watching them walk to the kitchen.

"There's more in the back of the truck," Logan says as he sets the bags down and straightens up, huffing.

"I'll go get them." Kendall laughs and goes outside, gathering bags from the back of the truck before taking them inside, setting them all down on the floor before going out to grab the rest. On his second trip out, Kendall spots Camille coming up the driveway dressed in a short skirt and a black blouse that's sleeveless with a plunging neckline to show her cleavage. "Damn, you look good," he says, smiling at his best friend when she gets closer.

Camille smiles and blushes, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "Thanks," she says, pointing at the bags. "Do you need help with those?"

"I'd love some." Smiling, Kendall hands her a couple of bags and grabs what's left on the truck bed before heading inside, making his way to the kitchen with Camille in tow. "Look who I found outside," he says, setting the bags down in the sea of groceries coverings his floor.

"Baby!" Logan says, moving over to wrap his arms around Camille, kissing her lightly. "You look great."

"So do you," Camille replies, touching Logan's cheek lightly. "I hope what I'm wearing isn't too revealing."

Everyone in the room looks at her and Carlos shrugs; Gustavo mumbles something under his breath; Logan shakes his head and kisses Camille again, lengthening the kiss a little. They stay stuck together until Carlos throws something at the back of Logan's head and they ease apart, Logan turning back to glare at Carlos.

"What was that for?" Logan asks, fake pouting at Carlos.

Shrugging, Carlos crosses his arms and leans against the counter. "I was tired of seeing you two suck face," he jokes, laughing when Logan gives him the finger before turning back to Camille.

"Alright, who's going to help me put this shit away and set everything up?" Kendall asks, motioning toward the bags on the floor as he glances at his friends; they all look like they're going to say no and Kendall frowns, pulling his best mock-hurt face. "Fine, I'll just do everything by myself!"

"I'll help you," Camille says as she disentangles herself from Logan. "And I'm sure that Logan will help you too."

Logan blinks and nods, grabbing a bag off the floor. "Of course I will," he says, his voice cheery.

Soon, they all work on getting things together and most of the groceries put in the fridge when Gustavo points out that some of the things he got, he procured for another party they're throwing later in the week, which will only be for the five of them. Kendall laughs at the sound of having a party with just his friends and he shoves the last few things on the fridge, before helping Camille out with putting chips into bowls.

They're done by the time people start coming over and Kendall greets people at the door, yelling loudly when Freight Train shows up with a bottle of Jack Daniels. He hands the bottle off to Camille, telling her to put it in the fridge as he pulls Freight Train aside, explaining that they need to talk.

"What's up, Kendall?" Freight Train asks, crossing his arms over his chest; even when he's happy, Freight still looks menacing.

"I wanted to discuss you acting as security for tonight," Kendall says, chewing on his lip. "It won't be all night, so don't worry about standing at the door during the entire party."

Freight Train nods his head and smiles. "I'm happy to do anything for you guys."

"Great!" Kendall laughs and runs a hand down his face. "I have more specific instructions for you, though... I need you to keep Carlos' ex out, and keep an eye out for my ex."

"I know what Carlos' ex looks like," Freight Train starts, his forehead furrowing. "But not yours."

Kendall takes his phone out and mumbles, "Not a problem, my friend." He smiles and gets online with his phone, pulling up James' Facebook page before turning his phone around to Freight Train. "This is my ex, James; don't let him in, even if he bats his eyelashes at you or pays you."

"I won't let him in."

"Thank you!" Kendall smiles and puts his phone back into his pocket, sighing. "And I'll pay you for doing this, don't worry. I'm not asking you to do it for free, but it is awesome that you're doing it at all."

Shrugging, Freight Train holds his fist out and Kendall bumps his against it. "I'll be by the door," he says, smiling at Kendall before going back to the front door, standing out on the porch as a crowd pours into the house.

Kendall goes to the kitchen and finds a sea of people in there, talking and laughing, most of them drinking out of the red plastic cups Gustavo brought. He nods to most of the people and stops to say hello before grabbing his own cup off the counter and heading toward the fridge. Opening the freezer, Kendall grabs a bottle of rum and opens it, pouring a good amount into his cup before returning the bottle to it's rightful place.

On his way through the house, Kendall drinks and tries to avoid running into people, muttering his apologies when he does, giving people smiles as he walks by. When he gets into the living room, Kendall sees Jo and he smiles, heading over to her quickly, sidling up to her, bumping their shoulders together.

"You made it," he says, leaning against the back of the couch.

Jo smiles and turns to him, nodding slowly. "Well, you invited me."

"I'm glad you came! I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," Jo says, chewing on her lip as she twirls a lock of hair around her finger. "What are you drinking?"

Kendall takes a long sip from his cup and raises his brows at Jo, swallowing. "Rum; do you want some?"

Jo shakes her head and Kendall frowns.

"Do you want some beer? Or maybe some vodka? We've got everything in this house."

"I'll take some vodka," Jo says, and Kendall nods toward the kitchen, holding an arm out for her to take. She hesitates for a second before looping her arm around Kendall's, letting him lead her into the kitchen. When they get there, Kendall goes to grab a cup for Jo and comes back to the fridge, opening the freezer side before grabbing the vodka.

Kendall pours the vodka into the cup and hands it to Jo, holding his own plastic cup between his teeth. He puts the vodka back into the freezer and grabs the rum again, pouring some into his own cup before replacing that bottle as well. Taking a large sip from his drink, Kendall smiles at Jo and leads her back into the living room, where a bunch of people are congregated.

"So, your parents are away," Jo says, leaning against the couch as she takes a sip of her vodka.

"Yeah, for two weeks."

Nodding, Jo swallows and looks at Kendall, smiling. "And you leave for Boston not long after they come back."

"In three weeks," Kendall confirms, nodding as he finishes off his rum.

The two of them stand around awkwardly and Kendall taps his fingers against the side of his cup, his eyes going to the door. He spots a familiar face and he grins, turning to Jo, excusing himself before moving toward the door, clapping a hand on Luke's shoulder. "What's up, dude!"

Luke turns and grins at Kendall. "Yo, Kendall. Nice party," he says, giving Kendall a quick hug.

"Yeah, Logan and Carlos threw it together; I just provided a house to have it in."

"Well, it's a nice house." Luke laughs and licks his lips, raising a brow. "Where is Carlos anyway?"

Kendall purses his lips, trying to think of where he saw Carlos last. "He's either in the kitchen, the living room, or he's outside with Gustavo and Logan."

"I'm gonna go find him, but I'll catch you later, alright?"

"Alright," Kendall says, nodding as he watches Luke walk through the sea of people, getting lost in it a moment later.

Biting his lip, Kendall thinks about going back to where Jo was but, when he turns around, he doesn't see her there and he frowns, looking down at his empty cup before moving to the kitchen. He greets a bunch of people and stops at one of the kegs, letting someone pour beer into his cup, thanking them when they do it. Eventually, he finds himself back at the front door and he watches people pour in, drinking his beer slowly.

Half an hour passes and Kendall makes his rounds, going around the house once to greet people and to make sure that no one has broken anything. When he feels confident that people aren't going to smash everything into tiny bits, Kendall goes back to the kitchen and pours himself a rum and coke, taking it to the front door, where Freight Train is arguing with someone. People are standing on the porch and along the walkway, all of them murmuring among themselves.

Kendall goes to the door and downs his drink, setting the empty cup on the table, stepping up behind Freight Train. "Yo," he says, staring at the guy that Freight Train was talking to, "is there a problem here?"

"Yeah," the guys says, turning to look at Kendall, clicking a tongue ring against his teeth. "This guy says I can't come in because I'll start shit."

"And you are?" Kendall asks, waving a hand toward the guy as he talks.

Freight Train turns to Kendall and nods his head toward the dude standing a foot away. "That's Sam," he explains, and Kendall's blood boils just when he hears the name, but it gets worse when he turns to look at the guy.

Chuckling, Kendall licks his lips and steps out onto the porch. "So, you're Sam."

"Yeah, and you are?"

"I'm Carlos' new boyfriend," Kendall answers, crowding into Sam's space. "And I told my buddy Freight Train here not to let you in, so he's not going to."

"That's a bunch of bullshit," Sam says, clenching his jaw. "I just wanna see Carlos and talk to him for a minute."

"Not going to happen." Kendall gets closer and puts his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Now, do you want to leave peacefully or is Freight gonna have to make you leave? Choice is yours, buddy, but I'd choose wisely if I were you."

Sam sets his jaw again and jerks out of Kendall's grip. "Make me leave," he says, voice challenging.

Freight Train steps forward but Kendall holds him off, shaking his head. "I've got this one, don't worry."

"Oh,  _you're_  going to kick me out? What's a skinny bitch like you gonna do, huh?" Sam taunts, getting closer to Kendall and he can smell the pot on his breath, the stench mixing with the smell of cigarettes.

And Kendall doesn't say anything; he shoves Sam off the porch, watching the crowd of people behind him part. Sam falls to the ground with a grunt and Kendall jumps off the porch, wrapping a hand around the collar of Sam's shirt, hauling him up before punching him square in the jaw. He hears something crack and isn't sure if it was his hand or Sam's face, but Kendall doesn't stop at just one punch.

Despite the crowd screaming and a few people trying to get him off, Kendall keeps punching Sam in the face, slamming his head down against the grass beside the concrete. Blood pours down Sam's face and Kendall doesn't even stop then; he just keeps punching him, his anger rising with every blow before he hears Carlos' voice over the crowd.

"Kendall!" Carlos cries and soon his voice is right next to Kendall, a hand wrapped around his wrist when he hauls back to punch Sam in the face one more time. "Stop it," Carlos says, voice right next to Kendall's ear. "It's not worth it, please just stop."

Clenching his jaw and his fist, Kendall allows Carlos to pull him off but not before he lands a kick in Sam's side. "That is for hurting Carlos," he says, voice dripping with anger as he's pulled back toward the porch.

Sam pushes himself up onto his elbows and looks at Kendall, blood pouring out of his mouth and nose. He doesn't say anything but he flicks his gaze to Carlos, snarling for a second before pushing himself up onto his feet, staggering a bit as he makes his way down the walkway, heading toward his car.

Kendall watches him go, body trembling from the anger and adrenaline pumping through him. His hand is still curled into a fist and he still has Carlos' fingers wrapped around his wrist when Sam leaves and he growls in frustration, his knuckles throbbing dully.

"Come on," Carlos says, pulling Kendall into the house and away from the crowd that's gawking at him and whispering.

"The asshole deserved it," Kendall mumbles over and over, letting Carlos pull him into the kitchen, feeling his body being pushed against the counter. "He started shit, Carlos, and I told you I was going to punch him if he did.."

Carlos laughs and goes to grab ice out of the freezer, wrapping it in a dish towel. "I'm sure he did deserve it," he says, laying the homemade ice pace against Kendall's bloody knuckles. "Thank you."

"For what?" Kendall blinks and looks up at Carlos, frowning. "I lost my temper and I punched someone; I made someone else bleed, Carlos."

"Yes, but you did it for me."

Biting his lip, Kendall nods and sighs. "That much is true," he mutters, wincing as he flexes his fingers.

"And I love you for it," Carlos whispers, leaning in to kiss Kendall's lips softly, smiling against them.

"Love you too." Kendall closes his eyes and sighs, pulling away. "Did you see how much blood was coming out of his nose?"

Carlos giggles and nods his head slowly. "I think you may have broken it."

"Ugh! What if he presses charges?"

"He won't; last I heard, he already had a few warrants out for his arrest, so he won't go to the cops, knowing that they're onto him," Carlos says, kissing Kendall's cheek. "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

Nodding, Kendall keeps his eyes closed and works his fingers slowly, listening to everyone laugh and talk around them, the smell of beer and weed filling the air. He inhales deeply and opens his eyes again, blinking at Carlos with a small smile. "Who's got the weed?"

"Guitar Dude. Why, do you want some?"

"I'd like a joint, yeah," Kendall answers, nodding quickly. "I'll pay for it, too, if he wants me to."

Carlos laughs and licks his lips slowly. "I'll go find him and get you a joint, stay right here."

"Yes sir." Kendall laughs and watches Carlos leave the kitchen, disappearing into the sea of people. When his boyfriend is gone, Kendall goes to the freezer and grabs the rum again, taking it back to the counter, hopping up on it as he twists the cap off the bottle. He takes a long swig and looks around the room, seeing Logan and Camille leaning against the wall, wrapped around one another.

Sighing, Kendall takes another drink from the bottle and takes the ice off his hand, laying it on the counter next to him, looking at his swollen, bloody knuckles. He clenches his fist and then relaxes, stretching his fingers out and wincing at the pain that shoots down over his knuckles, through his fingers.

"What's up, Kendall?" Logan's voice pulls Kendall's gaze up and he blinks, shrugging.

"I punched Carlos' ex," Kendall answers, laughing when Logan's eyes go wide. "See?" He holds his hand out and twists it under the light, shaking his head, listening to Logan whistle.

"You punched Sam?"

Kendall nods and lays his hand on his thigh again. "Yep, he came and started shit, so I punched him a few times and Carlos thinks that I broke his nose."

"Damn, Kendall! You did what I wanted to do for the longest time," Logan says, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, well.." Kendall sighs and grabs the rum again, taking a long swig. "Carlos went to find Guitar Dude so I could have a joint."

Logan leans against the counter next to him and nods, grabbing the bottle, taking a sip. "Camille wanted to mingle, but I think I was making her lips sore," he says, laughing.

"Yeah, I saw you two over there making out."

"Sorry," Logan says, laughing quietly, handing the bottle back to Kendall.

Taking the bottle, Kendall puts it to his lip and swallows a huge mouthful, setting it back down. "My hand hurts," he grumbles, sighing heavily as he leans against Logan a little, watching people fill their cups up with beer.

"That happens when you punch someone in the face... repeatedly."

"Thanks for your brilliant input, professor." Kendall laughs and nudges Logan, grabbing the bottle again, taking another long sip.

Logan watches him and purses his lips. "You found out about Sam, huh?"

"Yep, not too long ago. Carlos told me about what that asshole did and I wanted to do more than just punch him," Kendall admits, holding the bottle of rum to Logan. "Take this away or I'll drink the rest of it."

"Yes sir," Logan teases, taking the bottle away, twisting the cap back on. "And don't feel bad - I want to kill the guy myself, but Carlos would fucking hate me if I did it. He would understand, sure, but he'd hate my guts because I'd be in jail or something."

Kendall opens his mouth to say something when he sees Carlos come back in, a big grin on his face; he smiles back and kicks his legs out, letting the heels of his feet hit the cabinets underneath him. "Hey, did you get it?"

"Yes, I got three - one for each of us, but I didn't know that Logan would join us so soon," Carlos says, turning to Logan with a grin. "Thank you for joining us, Hortense."

"Don't call me that," Logan says, glaring at his best friend as he holds a hand out.

Blinking, Kendall watches Carlos and Logan and stays quiet, kicking his feet back and forth until Carlos hands him a joint; he puts the end between his lips and makes a grabbing hands motion to his boyfriend, grinning. He rolls his eyes when Carlos lights the end of his own joint, handing the lighter to Logan before it finally ends up in Kendall's hand.

"Thanks," he mumbles, flicking the lighter on and igniting the end of his joint before handing the lighter back to Carlos, wrapping his fingers around the butt of his joint. Inhaling deeply, Kendall closes his eyes and pulls the joint away, holding the smoke in for a moment before blowing rings out, laughing at them.

The three of them sit in the kitchen, smoking and laughing, passing the rum bottle back and forth between them; Kendall feels better once he's done with his joint and his body feels loose and relaxed. He leans his head back against the cabinets and giggles to himself, moving his hands over his thighs slowly, listening to Carlos and Logan talk to each other.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: drinking, major PDA, arguing, rimming, bathtub sex, bareback sex.]

People swarm in and out of the kitchen, filling cups with liquor from the freezer or beer from the kegs and Kendall watches them, letting his head loll back before fixating his gaze on the ceiling. He feels a hand on his, warm skin sliding against his own and he smiles, blinking his eyes slowly before pulling his chin toward his chest, looking at Carlos with a slight grin.

"Can I help you?" He asks, biting the edge of his lip to keep from giggling.

Carlos rolls his eyes and leans in, kissing Kendall softly, tongue dragging across his bottom lip and Kendall can taste weed, beer, and whiskey on Carlos' lips. He groans and moves a hand to the back of Carlos' head, cupping it lightly as he holds him in place, kissing him slowly for a moment before deepening it.

As the two of them kiss, Kendall spreads his legs as wide as he can, ignoring the sound of plastic clattering against the floor as his cup falls off the counter. He inhales deeply through his nose and wraps a hand around Carlos' hip, pulling him closer and kissing him harder when he cranes his neck, tilting his head to the side. His lips part and Kendall licks into Carlos' mouth slowly, savoring the taste on his tongue, letting it drag across Carlos' teeth before he pulls away, sucking on his boyfriend's bottom lip gently.

When Kendall pulls away, Carlos chases his lips and pulls him into another kiss, this one full of tongue and teeth and hands roaming over the front of Kendall's shirt, fingers curling around a handful of fabric. He pulls Kendall forward, feeling two arms tangle around his neck and he laughs into the kiss, the noise muffling when Kendall pushes back, their tongues wrapping together easily.

The people around them are forgotten and Kendall doesn't pay attention to the smell of booze and smoke wafting through the room, just keeps his focus on the way Carlos' lips and tongue feel against his own. He groans and tangles his fingers in what little of Carlos' hair he can, licking into his mouth again, feeling his cock harden in his jeans.

After a moment, everything starts to get to Kendall and his head feels dizzy; he pulls away, gasping for breath and saying Carlos' name, fingers stroking down the back of his head. He smiles when Carlos' lips touch his jaw, stubble rubbing against his skin as his boyfriend moves down, kissing a path down the side of his neck before coming back up, nipping at Kendall's jaw lightly.

"Wanna dance?" Carlos asks, lips brushing against the shell of Kendall's ear as he talks, making him shiver.

Reigning himself back in, Kendall nods and smiles lazily, moving a hand down Carlos' back. "I'd love to," he says, suddenly aware of the loud music coming from the living room.

"Come on." Moving back, Carlos holds a hand out to Kendall, watching him jump off the counter before sliding their hands together, fingers lacing as they make their way through the crowd of people congregating between the kitchen and the living room.

When they get into the living room, Kendall pulls Carlos' body against his and laughs, moving both hands up and down his body, feeling every inch of Carlos he can. They start moving together and the bass pumps through the room, bouncing off the wall and Kendall feels almost as though it's going through his body, the rhythm coursing through his veins. He laughs again and leans down, kissing Carlos deeply as they move their hips together, Kendall bending a little as they kiss, moving a hand to the small of Carlos' back.

People move around them and Kendall makes a noise against Carlos' mouth before pulling away, licking his lips as he takes a step back, watching Carlos move his body in a way he'd never seen before. It's hypnotizing, watching Carlos sway his hips, hands tapping the beat out against his thighs, a smirk on his face when he sees Kendall's eyes on him.

The song changes, the beat and rhythm quickening and Kendall moves back toward Carlos, watching him turn around before feeling his boyfriend's back pressed against his chest. A hand snakes along the side of Kendall's neck and rests on the back of his head, fingers tangling in the slightly damp hair resting just above the nape of his neck. Sighing heavily, Kendall moves his hands along Carlos' waist, pulling at his shirt a little to get to the skin underneath, brushing his thumbs along Carlos' hipbones, feeling his ass rub back against his crotch.

If they weren't in a room full of people, Kendall probably would have bent Carlos over the couch and started fucking him the moment he started moving his ass, but he reminds himself that there are people around. He settles for doing it later, when everyone's gone and the house is a mess, the two of them being alone for the first time in a while. Thinking about fucking Carlos makes Kendall push his hips forward, grinding them against his boyfriend's ass, knees bent a little as his hands roam up and down the front of Carlos' body.

Sweat pours off Kendall as he dances with Carlos, feeling how hot the room is with all the bodies moving around, and he feels a few drops roll off the ends of his bangs. He doesn't pay much attention to how much he's sweating, his mind on Carlos and the way he's moving like he dances professionally or like he wants to tease Kendall; either way, Kendall's enjoying it and he doesn't want his boyfriend to stop, even for a moment.

Kendall loses track of time and how many songs have gone by when Carlos finally stops, turning around in Kendall's arms, leaning up on his tiptoes to kiss him softly, smiling against his lips. He returns the kiss and hums, moving his hand down he slope of Carlos' back, letting it graze down over his ass before gripping it tightly. Carlos closes his eyes and moans, the noise drowning under the music but Kendall can feel it vibrate against his lips.

Carefully, Kendall leads Carlos back through the living room and into the kitchen, pressing him up against the fridge, despite the number of people surrounding them. He doesn't say anything, just leans down and kisses Carlos' lips roughly, biting at them before moving down to drag his lips across Carlos' jaw, nipping and sucking at it lightly, tasting sweat against his skin. Kendall sighs against Carlos' jaw and nuzzles the tip of his nose against the inside, dragging it up to his ear, tracing the shell lightly.

"Kendall," Carlos moans, fingers buried in Kendall's sweaty hair.

"Mm?" Pulling away, Kendall blinks and licks his lips, noticing how swollen Carlos' mouth is from him kissing and biting them.

Biting at his own lip, Carlos move a hand down the nape of Kendall's neck and smiles. "This is a great party," he says, the words coming out loud enough for Kendall to hear them over the music and the chatter.

"Yeah," Kendall agrees, smirking. "I wish all these people would leave, though, so I could be alone with you."

"We have two weeks to be alone," Carlos says, fingertips gliding up and down Kendall's skin.

Kendall shrugs and leans down, kissing Carlos softly. "I know, but couldn't you feel how hard you were making me, dancing like you were?"

"A little bit." Laughing, Carlos leans up and pecks Kendall's lips lightly. "I need to find Logan again, make sure that he hasn't found Camille and taken her up to your room or something," he says, forehead furrowing.

"I'd be alright with that," Kendall says, chuckling when Carlos pushes at his chest. "Alright, alright," he says, pulling away from his boyfriend, running a hand through his hair, messing it up a little. "I've gotta find Jo, make sure she's alright."

Carlos nods and smiles, smoothing a hand down his shirt. "I'll see you in a bit," he says, turning away and yelping when Kendall smacks his ass playfully, glaring over his shoulder at Kendall, who smiles innocently. Rolling his eyes, Carlos walks away and goes through the house, calling out Logan's name over the music.

Once Carlos is gone, Kendall grabs a bottle of liquor from the freezer and takes a long swig, making his way through the house, eyes scanning the crowd for Jo. He goes through the living room twice and then back to the kitchen, frowning when he doesn't see Jo, Carlos, Logan, or Gustavo. Figuring that his friends are outside, Kendall heads through the back door, taking a long sip from his whiskey, twisting the cap on as he heads to the pool, where a bunch of people are sitting in the grass.

Off to the side, Jo is sitting with Guitar Dude and she's leaning against him, a bottle of vodka in her hand; when Kendall sees her, he breathes a sigh of relief and goes over to them, kneeling on the ground.

"Hey, there you are," he says, giving Jo a smile. "I see you met Guitar Dude."

Jo nods and smiles at Kendall, clearly drunk. "I did, I met him. S'really nice," she slurs, and Kendall rolls his eyes.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Not much, see?" She holds up the bottle of vodka, which is half empty, and Kendall sighs heavily.

Standing up, Kendall sets the bottle of whiskey on the ground. "Come on, let's get you upstairs and into a bed, okay?" He holds his hands out to Jo, who looks at them and purses her lips, looking like she's going to say no before she reaches out and takes hold of one of them.

Kendall pulls her to her feet and takes the vodka bottle, handing to Guitar Dude, before wrapping his arm around Jo's waist, pulling her toward the door. The whole way, she leans against him and he can smell booze on her breath, knowing almost immediately that she's had more than just vodka. He sighs and takes her into the house, heading into the living room before going up the stairs, ignoring someone when they shout that upstairs is off limits.

When they get to the top of the stairs, Kendall picks Jo up and takes her down the hall to one of the guest bedrooms, opening the door before turning the light on with his elbow. He takes her inside and lays her on the middle of the bed, going to take off her shoes, tossing them onto the floor once they're off.

"Lay back," Kendall says, nodding toward the bed when Jo sits up.

Jo listens and sprawls out on the bed, sighing. "You're nice," she murmurs, staring up at Kendall.

"Thanks, but I'm just helping a friend out."

"You - you're cute."

Blinking, Kendall looks at Jo and snorts. "So are you," he replies, moving across the room to grab a blanket.

"He's lucky," Jo says, yawning quietly. "He has a cute, nice, pretty boy and I have noffin'."

"You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying." Kendall grabs a blanket and comes back to the bed, unfolding it before laying it over Jo, who grumbles something. "I'll come back and check on you in a while, okay? If you feel like you need to get sick, there's a trashcan next to the nightstand."

Closing her eyes, Jo breathes deeply and pulls the blankets up, curling underneath them. "Kendall?"

"Yeah, Jo?" Kendall answers, hands in his pockets.

"Can - can you stay with me?" Jo asks, her voice cracking in a few places, sounding like she's about to cry.

Kendall bites his lip and moves a hand up, carding it through his hair. "I guess I can stay until you fall asleep," he says, shrugging quickly as he walks around the end of the bed, going to the other side.

"Thank you," Jo mutters, snuggling against the pillow as Kendall moves to lay down on the bed next to her, staying above the covers. She breathes deeply for a moment and turns over, wrapping her arms around Kendall's waist, burying her face against his chest. "Do you think," she starts, her words slurring as she talks, "that you'd like me if we had sex?"

The question makes Kendall blink and he stares at the ceiling, shrugging his shoulders a bit. "I dunno," he answers, honestly, before backtracking. "I mean, we'll never know, right? I'm with Carlos and I'm pretty sure I like having sex with guys."

"How you know if you haven't with me?" Jo's voice is quiet and Kendall is sure that she's crying; he sighs and wraps an arm around her shoulders, patting her back lightly as he looks down at her.

"I just know," he whispers, moving his hand to her hair, running his fingers through it. "You know what?" Jo hums in response, pressing her face against Kendall's shirt. "I bet you'll find someone who's like, ten times more attractive than me and someone who's taller and smarter... someone who will be perfect for you."

Jo scoffs and it sounds more like a choked off sob than anything.

"I mean it," Kendall continues, cupping the back of Jo's head, rubbing her scalp lightly. "He'll be everything you've ever wanted and he'll fall head over heels in love with you, and you'll forget all about Kendall Knight."

"Don't think so," Jo grumbles, her hand fisted in Kendall's shirt.

Sighing, Kendall lays his head against Jo's and closes his eyes. "I like you, Jo, but not in the way you want. Knowing that I can't give you everything you need and want in a guy upsets me, but I know that it's not my fault; it just means that we weren't meant to be and that you'll find your perfect guy down the road. I mean, do you know how pretty you are?"

Jo shakes her head and starts crying, sobbing against Kendall's chest.

"You are fucking  _gorgeous_. Tall, blonde, with an amazing smile and some killer legs - if I were into women, I'd be all over you and I'd probably be fighting guys to have a chance to date you. Just wait until you get out of here, okay? You'll find someone at college and you guys will be inseparable. And when you do find someone, I expect and invitation to your wedding or at least the honor of playing at your wedding."

"Why're you so sweet?" Jo mumbles, pulling her head away from Kendall's chest, looking up at him with tears streaking down her face, eyeliner and mascara smeared underneath her eyes.

Kendall chuckles and leans in, giving her a light kiss on the lips. "Because you're my friend and I want to see you happy," he answers, running his fingers through her loose curls, getting her to smile. "There you go! There's that smile I love so much."

"Shuddup." Ducking her head, Jo curls up against Kendall's side and sighs heavily, yawning. "Gonna sleep now," she murmurs, nuzzling her cheek against Kendall's chest as he nods his head and starts humming a lullaby to her, listening to her breathing slow down.

Fifteen minutes later, Jo lets Kendall go and he sneaks out of the room after covering her up all the way with the blanket, making sure that the trash can is where she can find it, should she feel the need to throw up. He shuts the door quietly and heads back down the stairs, running a hand through his hair and cursing when he runs into someone, stumbling backwards only to realize that it's Gustavo.

"Where'd you run off to?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at the eyeliner and mascara stains on his shirt.

"My friend was drunk and I took her upstairs to sleep it off," Kendall explains, sighing heavily as he looks out across the living room, noticing the crowd thin out a little bit. "People are leaving?"

Gustavo turns around and shakes his head, turning back to Kendall. "Someone's outside yelling," he says, shrugging his shoulders. "That's why I came looking for you - Freight Train says that it's some guy named James and that you gave specific instructions to keep him out."

"I did," Kendall says, licking his lips as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "What's he yelling about?"

"Mostly saying your name."

Kendall nods and walks past Gustavo. "Thanks, I'll go check it out," he says, clapping his friend on the back before heading out the front door, pushing his way through the crowd of people, clenching his fists at his sides. His right hand throbs when he clenches it but he ignores it, crossing the yard to where James is standing, yelling his name.

"There you are," James says, voice low and half amused. "Was starting to wonder where you were."

"I told you that you weren't invited, so what are you doing here?"

James sets his jaw, eyes running over Kendall's body slowly before coming back to his face. "I knew you were bluffing with that whole 'you're not invited' bullshit," he says in a matter-of-fact voice. "So, why can't I come in?"

"Because I don't want you here," Kendall answers, clenching his fists again. "I know you're going to ask why, so I'll save you the trouble and I'll give you the reasons why I don't want you anywhere near me. First, because you're my ex boyfriend who treated me like _absolute_  trash and I've had enough of shitty exes for the night, okay? I don't want to mess my hand up any more by punching you in the goddamn face," he growls the last few words out and takes a breath. "Secondly, because my boyfriend is in there and you really don't want to reenact the little scene you two did the first time you met, do you?"

"Your little boyfriend caught me off guard last time," James scoffs, shaking his head. "I can take his short ass and you know it, that's why you didn't bring him out here with you."

Swallowing thickly, Kendall gets close to James and glares at him. "You know, I like how short Carlos is," he says, chuckling before continuing, "do you know why, James? Do you know why I love dating someone who's several inches shorter than me?"

"So you feel taller?"

"No, because the height difference turns me on, especially when Carlos has me on my hands and knees, fucking me," he answers, grinning up at James before taking a step back. "Besides, he does this cute little thing where he leans up on his toes just to kiss me. God, that's fucking adorable."

Huffing, James shakes his bangs out of his eyes and glares at Kendall, eyes narrowed. "I bet it's cute, you dating someone who's the size of a child," he counters, but Kendall laughs it off.

"He's a pretty decent height when you think about it." Kendall licks his lips and points at James' car with his good hand. "Now, get the fuck off of my lawn before I get Freight Train to throw you off it."

"Why can't you just admit you went to Carlos because you needed someone who's less of a man than I am?"

Kendall swallows hard and clenches his jaw. "Say one more thing about Carlos - I dare you," he challenges, taking another step closer to James, hands at his sides. "Do you really want to compare yourself to him, James? I mean,  _really_? Because it's oranges and apples, dude; Carlos doesn't treat me like shit like you did, and if he did? I know that he would feel remorse for it. What happened to the James I saw before? The one that let his guard down and apologized to me?"

James drags his tongue over his lips and shakes his head. "I'm going," he says, turning on his heels and taking a few steps before turning back around, eyes locked on Kendall. "Have fun with your miniature boyfriend."

"Have fun being a heartless bastard!" Kendall calls out, flipping James the finger as he walks across the street, getting into his car before disappearing down the road. Once he's gone, Kendall goes back in the house and starts ushering people out, thanking them for coming and explaining that he's had enough partying and excitement for one night.

When the house is nearly empty, Kendall goes around and keeps pushing people toward the door, telling them to drive safely and get home without incident. Soon, there's only a handful of people in the house: Luke, Carlos, Logan, Camille, Gustavo, and himself - not to mention Jo, who's still sleeping upstairs in the guest bedroom - and Kendall sighs heavily, rubbing at his temples as he goes to turn the music off.

"Great party," Luke says, moving over to grip Kendall's shoulders tightly. "They'll be talking about this for weeks!"

Kendall makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat and smiles weakly. "Yeah, probably," he says, sighing again as he moves toward the couch, flopping down on it. A few moments later, Carlos joins him and curls up against his side, resting a hand low on his stomach.

"Well, we should probably go," Logan says, rocking back and forth on his heels, looking at Camille. "I'm going to stay at Camille's tonight, so you don't have to worry about me driving drunk."

"Good, I don't want to be responsible for your death." Kendall looks over the back of the couch and smiles. "You two have a good night," he says, smiling more when Camille comes over to kiss his cheek, leaving an impression on his cheek in lip gloss. Logan throws a peace sign up as they head to the door and Kendall waves them off, watching his friends disappear into the night.

Gustavo yawns loudly and comes over to the couch, slapping his hand against Kendall's. "I'm going to get home myself, I've got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow," he says, backing up toward the door, frowning when he sees Kendall's worried expression. "Dude, I'll be alright; I've driven home more wasted than this before."

Biting his lip, Kendall nods slowly. "Alright, be careful," he says, watching Gustavo go through the door. "Text me when you get home so I know that you're not dead in a ditch!"

"And I guess that's my cue to leave you guys alone," Luke says, chuckling as he comes up behind the couch, lightly smacking the back of Carlos' head, nudging his knuckles against his shoulder. "See you guys later."

"See ya," Carlos says, waving at Luke without looking at him.

"Drive carefully, man." Luke nods and Kendall, smiling as he waves before heading out the door too, shutting it behind him. The house is finally empty and Kendall looks around at the trash on the floor and sighs heavily, letting his head fall against the back of the couch. "What do we do now?"

Carlos shrugs and then pulls away, looking at Kendall. "Well, we did talk about taking a bath in your parents' Jaccuzi tub," he says, biting at his lip softly, batting his eyelashes at Kendall, who laughs.

"Alright, come on," he replies, sitting up before standing, stretching. "We'll take a long bath, go to bed, and leave all the cleaning for tomorrow."

"Sounds good to me," Carlos agrees, getting up and walking around the end of the couch, stepping over plastic cups and beer bottles, turning to look at Kendall when he gets to the stairs. "You coming?"

Kendall blinks and nods, making his way across the living room to the stairs, following Carlos up them slowly, running a hand over the banister, yawning. He leads the way to his parents' room when they get to the top of the stairs and pulls Carlos to the bathroom, kissing him slowly as they back up toward the tub.

He eases away and runs a hand across the small of Carlos' back before dropping his hands and undoing his jeans, shoving them down along with his boxers, kicking them away with his shoes. Licking his lips, Kendall takes his shirt off and tosses it onto the floor behind Carlos, giving him a sly grin before bending down to take his socks off, rolling them together before throwing them aimlessly.

Once he's naked, Kendall steps into the tub and groans at the warmth of the water, leaning back against the porcelain, looking at Carlos with another grin. He watches his boyfriend get out of his clothes, fabric falling to the floor before Carlos is naked and he doesn't hesitate to step into the tub with Kendall, sitting down between his legs.

The tub easily fits the two of them and Carlos leans forward, turning the water off before leaning back again, feeling Kendall's arms wrap around him, warm water dripping off his fingers and onto Carlos' skin. Sighing, he lays his head back against Kendall's chest and turns, nuzzling him a little, laughing when he hears his boyfriend growl softly.

"This is nice," Carlos murmurs, running a hand along Kendall's thigh, listening to the water swish around his fingers. "Really nice," he adds, giggling as he presses a kiss to Kendall's jaw, nipping it lightly.

Moaning, Kendall moves a hand under the water and wraps it around Carlos' cock, stroking slowly. "Mhm," he agrees, moving his free hand up and down Carlos' stomach slowly, leaving a trail of water across his skin.

Carlos moans and closes his eyes, wrapping a hand around both of Kendall's wrists, thumbing across the wet skin, pushing his hips up carefully, listening to the water slosh around them. He sucks in a breath, feeling Kendall's thumb move across the head of his cock, gliding effortlessly in the water, his hand pumping up and down the length slowly. "Kendall," he moans, digging his fingertips into Kendall's skin gently, groaning when he feels his boyfriend's fingers squeeze the base of his cock.

"What is it, Carlitos?" Kendall asks, lips brushing against Carlos' jaw as he speaks, pressing a kiss to his skin.

"Fuck me."

Kendall bites his lip and nods, moving his lips up to Carlos' ear, whispering, "Want me to bend you over the end of the tub and fuck you as hard as I can, hmm? Slam my cock into you over and over, my hips pressing against your ass roughly, hands gripping your hips, bruising them?"

"Yeah, fuck... yeah, please." Carlos swallows thickly and moves a hand behind Kendall's head, tangling his fingers in his hair. "I want you to fuck me as hard as possible, make it hurt."

"Christ," Kendall licks his lips and bites Carlos' ear. "Get on your knees for me, baby."

It takes Carlos a moment to move and he shifts onto his knees awkwardly, causing some of the water to go over the edge of the tub. He apologizes and bites his lip when Kendall laughs, running a hand over his ass, chasing the water droplets as they move down his skin.

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay," Carlos huffs, nodding his head as he bends over the edge of the tub, pressing himself down against the porcelain, tossing a look over his shoulder, biting his lip. He watches Kendall get onto his knees, moving both hands up to his ass, spreading him slowly as he leans down, pressing a kiss to the middle of Carlos' back.

"Do you want me to fuck you now," Kendall murmurs, lips moving against Carlos' back, "or do you want me to rim you first? I haven't gotten the chance to do it to you, and I've been _dying_  to do it."

Carlos shudders and closes his eyes, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah, you can," he squeaks out, tightly gripping the edge of the tub, feeling Kendall's lips trail down his back, stopping just above his ass.

He hesitates for a moment before dipping down as much as he can, licking across Carlos' entrance, groaning quietly before doing it again, fingers digging into Carlos' ass. Closing his eyes, Kendall presses the flat of his tongue against Carlos and starts licking slowly, giving his boyfriend's ass long, slow strokes before swirling the tip of his tongue in a slow circle around his rim. As he goes the other way, Kendall listens to Carlos moan and whimper, grinning before turning to bite his ass, laughing when his boyfriend yelps.

Kendall licks Carlos slowly, going from his balls to the top of his ass at a pace that makes Carlos shudder and push back against him, begging for Kendall to go harder, but he doesn't listen. Instead, he goes slower and teases Carlos, running the tip of his tongue along Carlos' balls before moving up and flicking it against his entrance.

Pushing back, Carlos moans and drops his head forward, resting it against his arms as he sucks in a breath, feeling Kendall's tongue slide into a little before pulling out. He hears Kendall spit and feels a finger pressing against his entrance and he moans, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he tries to relax, feeling the digit slide into him slowly.

"Kendall,  _please_ ," Carlos begs, chewing on the skin of his lips. "Don't know how much more I can take," he mutters, voice broken as he pushes back against Kendall, moaning loudly when the finger inside him starts to move. The digit slide in and out with the help of Kendall's spit and the water and Carlos groans, letting his head fall back between his shoulders, fingers relaxing and tightening around the edge of the tub.

"Alright, I'll stop teasing." Kendall laughs and pulls his finger out slowly, standing up before getting out of the tub. "I'll be back in a second," he says, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist as he walks out of the bathroom. He nearly runs back to his room to grab a bottle of lube out of his nightstand, taking the towel off on his way back to the bathroom.

When Kendall gets back to the tub, he sees Carlos in the same position and bites his lip, dropping the towel to the floor before stepping back into the tub, popping the bottle of lube open. He pours some of the liquid onto his fingers and presses them against Carlos' entrance, slipping them in slowly until they're up to the last knuckle, giving them a little twist as he leans down, kissing up the middle of Carlos' back.

He scissors his fingers and works them in and out slowly, moving the knuckles of his free hand up the back of Carlos' thigh until he feels confident that his boyfriend is ready. Pulling his fingers out, Kendall pops the bottle open again and pours more lube onto the palm of his hand, stroking it over his cock slowly before nudging the head against Carlos' entrance, gripping his hip tightly as he pushes in.

They groan together and Kendall bottoms out in Carlos, hips pressed tightly against his ass; he gives his boyfriend a moment before moving his hips, pulling his cock out slowly before thrusting back in. He bites his lip and feels the water moving around his knees, listening to it slap against the side of the tub as he pulls out again, leaving just the head of his cock inside of Carlos. After a moment, Kendall slams into Carlos roughly and moves a hand between his shoulders, pressing down on it as he starts moving his hips quickly.

Carlos moans Kendall's name loudly and drops his head forward, pressing his forehead against his forearm, panting roughly against it, his fingertips pressing against the edge of the tub. He gasps when he feels Kendall pull out and slam in harder than before, knocking the breath out of him for a second before he starts moaning more, pushing back against Kendall as hard as he can. The water hits the backs and sides of his thighs and Carlos moves a hand behind him, wrapping his fingers around Kendall's hip, holding on tightly.

As he fucks Carlos harder, Kendall leans down and kisses his shoulder, biting at his skin gently, nipping across his shoulders, biting the other one. He pulls out and snaps his hips forward again, burying himself in Carlos with a loud groan, his breath falling against Carlos' skin, causing him to shudder.

"Harder," Carlos croaks, not knowing how much harder Kendall can go.

Growling, Kendall bites down on Carlos' shoulder and angles his hips differently, jabbing them against Carlos' ass, gripping his hips tightly. His fingernails dig in and cause blood to come to surface, filling the half-moon shapes but Kendall's hardly paying attention and he thinks the blood is just water. Moving a hand to Carlos' stomach, Kendall moves it down and wraps his fingers around his boyfriend's cock, stroking it slowly as he sucks on the bite mark on his shoulder.

Sweat and water pour down their bodies, small trickles of blood trailing down Carlos' skin but he doesn't seem to mind the pain in his hips, not with Kendall's cock driving into him. He gasps and moans, whimpers loudly and begs for Kendall; Carlos pleads for him to go harder, to make him come, to bite him and mark him. It all goes to Kendall's head and he starts driving into Carlos even harder than before, hips pressing roughly against his ass for half a second before he's pulling them away.

Kendall can feel his orgasm build and he moves his hands to the edge of the tub, gripping it on either side of Carlos' arms, looking down the space between them. He watches as his hips pull back before coming forward, cock slipping into Carlos quickly before he repeats the action, losing all rhythm.

Thrusting sporadically, Kendall breathes hard and presses his forehead between Carlos' shoulders, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on it as he thrusts into Carlos one that time. That one thrust is enough to send him over the edge and Kendall whimpers, body trembling and shoulders shaking as he comes, panting against Carlos' skin, kissing it sloppily and whispering 'I love you,' over and over again.

When Kendall comes down from his orgasm, he moves up, kissing across the back of Carlos' neck and breathing against it, moving a hand between Carlos and the water, long fingers wrapping around his cock. He strokes slowly, twisting his wrist a little as he whispers encouraging things to Carlos, mostly telling him to come.

"Gotta... gotta go harder," Carlos pants out, pushing his hips forward against Kendall's hand, licking across his lips quickly and repeatedly, doing it until he feels Kendall's thumb brush across the head of his cock. He cries out and presses his head against his forearms again, redirecting Kendall's lips to his shoulders; he feels like he could come any second, having Kendall's lips against his skin and hand on his cock.

Kendall strokes Carlos quickly and nips at his shoulders, sucking on his skin; he moans loudly when Carlos does, feeling his muscles clench around his cock. He doesn't stop stroking, his hand slowing down as Carlos comes, panting hard, Kendall's name torn from his lips in a ragged moan.

They stay still for a few minutes before Kendall straightens up and pulls out of Carlos slowly, sitting back in the tub with a heavy sigh. He watches as Carlos moves to sit down on the opposite end, laying his legs against Kendall's with a lazy smile; from where he's sitting, Kendall can see the mark on Carlos' shoulder and he groans quietly.

"Surprised you didn't play with my nipple rings," Carlos huffs, grinning when Kendall splashes him with water. "Temperature change," he says, licking his lips, "means we should probably get out of here before it turns freezing."

Nodding, Kendall stands and steps over the edge of the tub, grabbing his towel; he wraps his around his waist and gets one for Carlos, holding it open for his boyfriend as he gets out of the bathtub. When they're both wrapped in a towel, Kendall shuts the light off and leads Carlos through the master bedroom, taking him out into the hall and then down to his bedroom.

He dries off the moment the door is shut behind them and tosses the towel away, going to grab a pair of boxers from his dresser, getting a pair for Carlos as well. After shutting the drawer, Kendall throws a pair of boxers to Carlos and smiles, pulling his own quickly before going to land face-first on the bed, groaning against his pillow.

The bed dips when Carlos sits down and Kendall rolls over onto his back, smiling at his boyfriend. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Carlos answers, nodding as he lays down, pressing his body against Kendall's. "I'm tired and I'm dreading cleaning everything up tomorrow."

"You and me both." Kendall laughs and kisses the top of Carlos' head, wrapping both arms around him and pulling his body closer so that Carlos is almost laying on top of him. "We'll get Camille and Logan to help us," he says, yawning once the words are out, nuzzling the top of Carlos' head.

Laughing, Carlos nods and closes his eyes. "Sounds good to me," he whispers, laying a hand over Kendall's heart.

Carlos goes quiet and Kendall listens to his steady intake of breath, closing his eyes as he focuses on it; he soon falls asleep with his cheek pressed against the top of Carlos' head. A few times during the night, Kendall wakes up and looks around the room sleepily, blinking at each corner, certain that someone is in the room with them. When he doesn't see anyone the last time, Kendall goes back to sleep and stays that way until morning.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: underage drinking, character death, car accident, funeral.]

The next week passes in a complete and total fucking blur for Kendall; before he knows it, Friday has come and he's standing in the kitchen, watching his friends move around the backyard. He takes a sip of his beer and watches Carlos and Logan roughhouse with one another, rolling around on the grass while Camille watches, her head thrown back as she laughs; Kendall smiles and drains the rest of his beer before setting the empty bottle on the counter.

Turning on his heels, Kendall goes to the fridge and grabs another beer from the fully-stocked shelves, twisting the cap off quickly before heading back to the door, pushing it open. He steps outside and takes a long pull from his bottle, letting his lips seal around it perfectly before pulling away, making a suctioning sound as the glass eases away from his mouth. With a heavy sigh, Kendall moves across the lawn and slides a hand into his pocket, laughing at Logan and Carlos, shaking his head slowly.

He moves away from the wrestling and joins Gustavo by the grill, nodding his head slowly when the older man opens it, revealing a line of burgers, ribs, and hot dogs. Laughing, Kendall nudges Gustavo's arm with his shoulder and takes another sip of beer, nearly spitting it out when he hears Camille squeal, the high pitched noise ringing out for a good three seconds before it stops.

"What was  _that_  for?" Kendall asks, turning to glare at Camille, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"Sorry, sorry! I thought Carlos' knee jabbed into Logan's crotch, sorry." She blushes and chews on her lower lip, listening to all four men around her laugh. "I'm just worried about my boyfriend, okay?"

Kendall nods and smirks. "Yeah, you're worried about the family jewels," he mutters, lifting his beer to his lips again.

"That too," Camille admits, chewing on her lip harder, her cheeks completely red.

"She has every right to be worried about them," Logan says, rolling off Carlos and onto the grass, leaning back on his elbows as he throws a glance at Kendall, frowning. "Didn't bring any for the rest of us?"

Pulling the bottle away from his lips, Kendall shakes his head and swallows, grinning proudly.

"That's rude," Carlos comments, pushing himself to his feet, wiping his hands against his jeans.

"Haven't you learned by now that I'm not nice?" Grinning more, Kendall holds his beer out to Carlos, who takes it when he turns around, giving his boyfriend a thankful smile. "Besides, you guys have legs, don't you? House is right there," he says, making a vague motion toward the back of the house, grinning when Logan flips him off.

Carlos hands the beer back after taking a long sip and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "We're gonna eat inside anyway, right? It's starting to get dark and I don't want to eat in the dark," he says, glaring at Gustavo when he laughs. "And didn't you say that you got fireworks, Gustavo?"

"Yeah, we'll light 'em when it gets dark enough," Gustavo says, flipping a couple of burgers before shutting the top of the grill, turning to look at Kendall, who's raising a brow at him. "What's that look for?"

"Fireworks, Gustavo? Really?"

Gustavo spreads his hands helplessly and then points at Logan. "He suggested it and I rolled with it because, what's a backyard barbecue without fireworks? Plus, we didn't light any on the fourth, so I figured - better late than never, eh?"

"Guess so," Kendall says, laughing, "just don't light anything on fire, okay? I don't want the fire department to be called, because they'll see all of us underage kids drinking and call Carlos' dad to come arrest all of us."

Snorting, Carlos puts his hands on his hips and stares at Kendall. "My father wouldn't arrest us," he says, sticking his tongue out at Kendall when he rolls his eyes. "He'd find a way to go around the law."

"That would lose him his job," Kendall points out, tipping the neck of his bottle toward Carlos.

"He's done it plenty of times for us," Logan says as he stands up, wiping the back of his pants off. "I mean, when your kid and his best friend smoke pot in public and your partner catches them, what else are you supposed to do - let them get arrested?"

Kendall considers this for a moment and nods. "Guess you're right," he says, chuckling quietly. "If you two were put in jail, how else would I have met Carlos?"

They all laugh at that and Kendall watches Carlos and Logan start to wrestle again, both of them ending up in the grass again, rolling around in it. He watches them for another moment and then turns to look at Gustavo, who's already plated the food and is shutting the grill off.

"Grab a plate, will ya?" Gustavo asks, nodding his head toward the plate of burgers.

Nodding his head, Kendall grabs it and turns, heading back toward the house. "Dinner's ready," he calls out, hearing everyone exclaim and laugh behind him. They get into the house mere moments before everyone starts digging in, piling their plates high and taking a seat at the table.

Each of them drink beer and they talk in between bites, mostly about the party they threw a few days ago and how Kendall punched Sam in the face. When they talk about that, Kendall ducks his head and finishes his ribs, tossing the bone onto his plate, sighing heavily. He looks down at his hand and flexes it slowly, feeling a dull ache in his knuckles from the party and he swallows thickly, sighing again.

It's completely dark by the time they finish eating and everyone moves outside, carrying beer and blankets out; they lay the blankets out and Kendall sits down on one with Carlos, wrapping both arms around him. They watch as Gustavo walks a few yards away, setting the first firework display down before lighting the fuse on fire.

When it's lit, Gustavo makes his way back to the group, standing next to the blanket that Carlos and Kendall are sitting on, all five of them giggling as they watch the fire creep up the fuse. The giggling gets worse when the fireworks explode and they all tip their heads back, watching as brilliant blues and reds and greens burst against the night sky.

Gustavo waits a few minutes after the first one's done before going to light another, stepping back with his friends, laughing when the fireworks explode, making a high pitched squealing noise as they spiral into the air, bursting against the sky like the previous one. It's fun and simple, just like Kendall wanted it to be, and he nuzzles his face against the side of Carlos' neck while Gustavo goes to light another, laughing against his skin.

After ten rounds of fireworks, they take a break and sit around, drinking beer and telling stories about when they were younger; Carlos and Logan expertly avoid the paste story, even when Kendall and Camille beg them to retell it. They change the subject by asking Kendall and Camille questions in rapid succession, making them all laugh when the two of them get frazzled and stumble over their words.

"I have a question," Logan says after they all calm down from giggling. "For Camille," he adds, pulling her tightly against him.

"Ask away," she mumbles, playing with his fingertips as she leans her head back against his shoulder.

Licking his lips, Logan nods and chuckles. "Do you ever want to get married and, if so, at what age?"

"I do want to get married," Camille answers - almost immediately - before adding, "and whenever I feel like I'm ready. If that's when I turn eighteen, then it's when I turn eighteen. If I don't feel that way until I'm fifty... well, then, I feel sorry for whoever's chasing after me then."

"What about you, Kendall?" Carlos asks, nudging his head against his boyfriend's jaw.

Kendall hums and shrugs, laying his head against Carlos'. "I do want to get married, but not until I'm done with college or I've got a steady career."

"I'd like to get married one day," Carlos murmurs, running a hand up Kendall's forearm slowly.

They all hum in agreement and fall silent for a while; no one speaks until Kendall and Carlos move to lay on their sides, foreheads pressed together and limbs a tangled mess on the blankets. Gustavo, Logan, and Camille all start talking quietly, their voices mixing with the sounds of the night and the cars passing by; Carlos and Kendall listen to their friends talk as they hold onto each other, both of them dozing off.

Everyone loses track of time and they all end up falling asleep on their blankets, sleeping a few yards away from the house. The night is quiet around them and Kendall stays asleep for a while until his phone buzzes in his pocket; he groans and fishes it out of his jeans, blinking rapidly before squinting his eyes at the bright screen. Tapping the screen, he brings up a message from James that says to meet him out front in five minutes.

Kendall locks his phone and puts it away, kissing Carlos' lips softly before moving away from him, rolling off of the blanket and onto the grass, laying on his stomach for a moment. He pushes himself up and starts moving toward the house, staggering a bit but not falling once as he goes inside, flicking the light on quickly. His eyes protest to the brightness and he closes them for a second, standing in the middle of the kitchen with his hands cupped over his eyes.

When he thinks his eyes are adjusted, Kendall pulls his hands away and blinks slowly, looking around the room, yawning quietly as he moves a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head lightly. He sighs and moves through the kitchen, bumping into things and knocking his hip against the edge of the counter, cursing loudly as he makes his way into the foyer. With another yawn, Kendall moves toward the door and grabs a hoodie from the rack, slipping it on quickly; it's too big for him and the ends hang off the ends of his hands, just the way he likes it.

Stepping out onto the porch, Kendall curls the ends of the sleeves around his fingers and balls the extra fabric in his palms as he goes down the porch steps, glancing down the road quickly. He catches a glimpse of headlights and swallows thickly, moving down the concrete walkway and onto the driveway, making his way toward the road slowly, heart pounding in his chest. He doesn't know what James wants, but he has a feeling that it's not going to be good, worry and anxiety coming to the surface as he stops at the edge of the road.

James' car slows to a stop and Kendall moves out of the way, letting him park in the end of the driveway, biting his lower lip; he watches the lights fade out and he turns, walking up to the driver's side of James' car, leaning against the back door. It takes his ex boyfriend a moment to get out but when he does, he turns to Kendall with a small smile that's gone the second it appears.

"What d'you want? Was sleeping when you texted," Kendall mumbles sleepily.

"Want to talk." James bites his lower lip and lifts a hand, carding it through his hair. "And not argue, please."

Kendall crosses his arms over his chest and nods. "I think can manage that."

"I'm really sorry for everything I've ever done to you. I know that I'm an asshole, okay? So you don't need to remind me for the millionth time," James says, slurring his words like he's drunk but Kendall is too tired - and tipsy himself - to really notice or put two and two together.

"I know you're sorry." Looking down at the ground, Kendall sighs, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

James sniffles and Kendall lifts his gaze at the noise, blinking at his ex. "I had some other stuff to say," he says, voice breaking.

"Okay," Kendall says, moving a hand to the side of James' face, brushing his tears away. "I'm listening."

"You're like, the only person who's shown me love and com - compassion in the past couple of years," James starts, tears streaking down his cheeks, "and I w-w-wanted to say thank you, for that. Even if I treated you bad, I still appreciated it."

Nodding, Kendall smiles softly. "You're welcome."

"And I shouldn't have started shit," James mumbles, screwing his eyes shut. "I should have left it alone because you've always been too good for me... Outta my league, completely."

"That's not true, but thanks for saying it." Kendall chuckles and swallows thickly, not used to seeing James as vulnerable as he is in that moment. He thinks about all the time he's spent with James and realizes that he's never seen the other boy cry, not even once.

James' eyes open and lock on Kendall's, completely out of focus. "S'true, Kendall; you've always been good to me, even when I treated you like sh - shit," he mumbles, voice cracking and breaking more with every word he utters. "Car'os is lucky to have you, lucky like I never was, cause I never had you."

"You  _did_  have me," Kendall corrects, cupping James' cheek in his hand. "You just didn't know it, so please don't blame yourself, okay? I could have been more aggressive and shown you that you did deserve me, but I didn't."

"I don't wanna be a asshole anymore." James clenches his jaw and Kendall can feel it underneath his fingers. "I wanna change, be more like you, Kendall."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head slowly. "You don't want to be like me, trust me."

"But I do," James slurs, lifting a hand to run down his face. "You're  _so nice_  and everybody loves you."

"Not true; everybody loves  _you_ ," Kendall whispers, dropping his hand, curling it under his arm again. "I know because I was one of the people that thought you were the most beautiful thing ever."

Sniffling, James shakes his head and lets out a noise that sounds like a broken sob. "That's you," he whispers, the words barely audible but Kendall hears them and stares at James, mouth open. "So beautiful, Kendall."

"Thank you," is all Kendall can manage to squeak out, his mind clogged and hazy with that admission.

"I - can I tell you somethin?" James asks, getting closer to Kendall; he can smell the beer and liquor on his breath.

Kendall nods and swallows again, squeaking out, "Of course you can."

"I love you and think I always have, just been too stupid to see it. To see what I had in frontta me this whole time, so much better than Mercedes and twice as brains," James says, frowning as he closes his eyes, leaning against his car a little with a sigh. "Don't know what m'gonna do," he adds, opening his eyes before settling his gaze on Kendall's.

Taking a deep breath, Kendall shuts his eyes and presses his fists against his eyes, trying to block out the words James had just said, trying to un-hear them or something, but all he can hear is James saying 'I love you' over and over. It makes his stomach twist and knot and he wants to throw up on the ground but keeps it all inside, dropping his hands before flicking his gaze to James, swallowing again.

"You're drunk," he says, nodding as if to confirm that fact. "You should go home, get some sleep, and maybe we'll talk again when you're sober and I'm not asleep on my feet."

James sighs and pushes off the car, nodding. "Go home, kay," he says, licking his lips.

"Let me know when you get there, okay? Be safe."

"Kendall?" James asks, voice soft and innocent, eyes locked on Kendall's.

"Yeah, James?"

Sighing again, James bites his lower lip. "Can I have one last kiss? Just... one more, please?"

As much as he wants to say no, Kendall can't find it in his heart to do it, so he just nods and swallows thickly. He moves into James' space like so many times before and puts both hands on either side of his face, the balled up fabric of his sleeves a barrier between their skin. It feels like every other time before but Kendall's heart isn't speeding up because he's turned on; it's quickening because he feels bad for James and he knows how badly he must be hurting.

Their lips touch one last time and Kendall makes a noise against James' mouth, trying to prolong the kiss as long as he can before the other boy pushes him away gently, both hands on his elbows. When they ease apart, Kendall makes a sobbing noise and buries his face against James' chest, sobbing against it as he pulls his hands out of his sleeves, curling his fingers around the other boy's shirt, clinging to him for a moment.

"Gotta go," James says before pressing a kiss to the top of Kendall's head, keeping them there for a moment before pulling away, wrapping his arms around Kendall one last time. "I love you," he whispers, leaning down to kiss the top of Kendall's head again.

"I loved you," Kendall chokes out, tears streaking down his face as he looks up at James, vision blurry. "I wish things could be different because a part of me still loves you."

James bites his lower lip and blinks his eyes, a few tears rolling off his eyelashes. "Love him," he says, giving Kendall a smile.

"I will." Nodding, Kendall leans up on his toes and presses his lips against James' again, whispering against them, "I'll always love you, don't forget that, okay? Always, James."

"Me too," James whispers back, pushing Kendall away gently. "Goodnight," he says, giving Kendall another smile before getting into his car. He looks at Kendall one last time and waves before backing out, disappearing down the road quickly, leaving the other boy standing in the driveway, sobbing so hard that his shoulders shake.

Even after James is gone, Kendall stands in the same spot, crying with his hands pressed against his face, tears falling against the fabric of his hoodie, getting it wet. He doesn't know how long he stands there, just knows that, in that amount of time, he cries so hard that he throws up on the grass, his entire body shaking so badly that he feels like he's going to fall over.

Somehow, Kendall gets himself inside and he goes to the backyard, shaking Carlos awake; when his boyfriend gets up and asks what's wrong, he explains everything. Carlos wakes everyone up and gets them inside, putting Camille and Logan in one guest room and Gustavo in another, getting Kendall to his bedroom, rubbing his back slowly.

They get into bed and Kendall starts to sob again, his body trembling against Carlos' so bad that it worries the other boy; he asks Kendall several times if he's okay, getting a choked off sob in response. He keeps rubbing his boyfriend's back slowly, listening to him sob until it starts to fade, the noises getting softer until they stop altogether. When they stop, Kendall falls asleep against Carlos' chest, hands curled into fists, the fabric of his shirt caught between his fingers.

* * *

_Tears blur James' vision and his eyes burn; no matter how much he rubs at them, they won't stop hurting and the tears keep coming, streaming down his face, rolling down his jaw and falling onto his shirt. He doesn't know how fast he's going and he barely sees the stop sign ahead, not paying attention to it as he takes the sharp turn. Tires squeal against the pavement and the car topples a little but goes back to normal as he drives home, sobbing harder than before._

_At least he told Kendall how he felt before they went their separate ways and Kendall went off to be some famous rock star or someone who writes music for famous singers. He always liked that about Kendall, how he could write a song easily and he could fit the words against a beat perfectly, making a harmony that could make anyone fall in love with him. Including James._

_James never thought he'd fall in love with someone but, in hindsight, he's glad that it was Kendall; Kendall is everything anyone could want in a partner and James was stupid to not see what he had in front of him. He was dumb for waiting so long and letting Kendall slip through his fingers, but maybe it was for the best. Maybe Kendall would be better off without him and he'd be much happier than he ever was with James._

_He takes his hands away and rubs his eyes quickly, returning them back to the steering wheel, wrapping his fingers around it tightly, sniffling noisily as he continues speeding down the road. The world moves across his window quickly and James flies through an intersection, making another sobbing noise as he pushes the gas pedal down to the floor, his engine roaring._

_His car merges over into the other lane and James lets it, his body not responding to any of the jerky movements or the way he's swerving in and out of the road, car toppling again._

_James doesn't notice the car until it collides with his own and the last thing he sees is a pair of headlights; the last thing he hears is the sickening sound of crunching metal, and the last thing he says is Kendall's name before his body is pressed against the steering wheel, pinned between the seat and the dashboard._

_The last thought James has is of Kendall and their last kiss; he can feel the other boy's lips brush against his own as his life slips away and he can just hear the faint sound of someone yelling._ _Everything goes dark and James' body goes still, his breath coming short before stopping completely; his heartbeat follows right behind it._

_James Diamond dies at 4:32 AM on a Saturday morning in July._

* * *

Kendall wakes up just after ten in the morning to an empty bed and his phone buzzing in his jeans pocket. He waits until it stops and closes his eyes again, rubbing one of them with his knuckle, groaning at the pain in them and in his head. When he drops his hand again and takes a deep breath, fully intent on going back to sleep, his phone buzzes again and he grabs it out of his pocket, blinking his eyes open.

He sees Jo's name flash on the screen and he taps 'answer,' putting the phone against his ear.

"Kendall? Kendall, are you there?" Jo's voice is frantic and it puts Kendall on edge; he nods and grumbles something, turning over onto his back, sighing as he sits up. "Kendall, please say something," she says, and Kendall sighs again.

"I'm up," he answers, running a hand over his head. "What's the matter?"

There's a moment of silence and Kendall's stomach drops before Jo answers, "James is dead, Kendall. He... he's dead."

"No," Kendall says, shaking his head roughly, snapping his eyes shut. "No, he was just here a few hours ago, he can't be.."

"He's  _dead_ , Kendall," Jo repeats, her voice breaking and he thinks he can hear her sniffling. "He was in a car accident early this morning."

Swallowing thickly, Kendall opens his eyes and gets off the bed. "No, he's...  _no,_ " he mumbles, shaking his head.

"Kendall, I'm sorry." Jo's voice breaks more and Kendall bites his lower lip, feeling tears rim his eyes. "I'm so sorry," she says and he can hear her sobbing on the other end before the line clicks and he throws his phone onto the bed, staring at the window, eyes unblinking.

A scream leaves Kendall's mouth and he falls to his knees, curling up into a ball; the hood of his jacket falls over his head and he grabs onto the fabric, pressing his wrists against either side of his head. He screams until he can't scream anymore and then he cries, sobbing against his knees before falling onto his side, curling up into the fetal positon.

That's how Carlos finds him a few minutes later and he kneels next to Kendall, trying to pry his hands away from his head, telling him that it's okay. Kendall shakes his head and screams again, crying out 'no' over and over until his throat is raw and he can barely speak. He goes silent and grabs onto Carlos, clinging to him as he cries some more, his entire body shaking as the sobs rack his body.

Half an hour passes and Kendall's phone buzzes on his bed again; he thinks that it's probably Jo again and he ignores it, burying his face against Carlos' chest, staining his shirt with tears. Soon, his sobs stop and he calms down, hiccuping a little as he pulls away from Carlos, blinking his eyes open, vision blurry.

"What's wrong?" Carlos asks, chewing on his bottom lip worriedly.

Kendall shakes his head and swallows, a choked off noise leaving his throat. "James," he manages to croak, pressing his hands against his face, sighing deeply against them before crying again. He cries for a few minutes and then drops his hands against his thighs, looking at Carlos with red and swollen eyes. "He died."

"You're..." Shaking his head, Carlos sighs and moves a hand to Kendall's face. "You're not kidding," he whispers, swallowing hard when Kendall shakes his head. "Oh, baby.."

"He's dead and," Kendall pauses, hiccuping before continuing, "it's all my fault! He came over here this morning and - and - and he was drunk, I told him to go home and I  _knew_  he was drunk, Carlos! I made him drive and I killed him."

Carlos swallows again and shakes his head, pulling Kendall closer. "It's not your fault, baby," he whispers, running a hand down the back of Kendall's head, stroking his fingers over the nape of his neck. "Shh, it's okay."

This time, when Carlos says it's okay, Kendall doesn't believe him and he cries harder, his shoulders shaking as he lets go completely, crying over James' death and the kiss they shared not long before he died. He thinks about the last thing he saw and he cries harder, realizing that it was James' smile - a real smile, even if it was sad.

"Need my mom," Kendall chokes out, pulling away from Carlos, scrambling toward the bed.

Carlos sits back on his heels and lets Kendall go, watching him dial a number on his phone, biting his lower lip. He wants to do everything he can for his boyfriend, but he feels helpless. Sighing, Carlos gets up and goes downstairs, leaving Kendall alone even though he doesn't want to; he's afraid of what may happen in the short time he's gone.

When Carlos leaves, Kendall doesn't even notice; he's too busy dialing and redialing his mom's number, trying his dad's after a handful of failed attempts. On the tenth try, his father answers, his voice rough and Kendall knows that he woke him up, so he starts crying harder, sobbing into the phone.

"Kendall, calm down," Christopher says, his voice sounding louder and more awake. "Tell me what's wrong."

Biting his lip, Kendall makes a sobbing noise. "Where's mom?"

"She's right here," his father says and there's a rustling noise before his mother comes on, asking what's wrong.

"Need you to come home," Kendall replies, his voice broken and the words coming out with a childish tone. "Please, need you."

Jennifer sighs and Kendall bites down on his lower lip, listening to her talk. "What's the matter, honey?"

"James, he... he..." Pausing, Kendall takes a deep breath before managing, "James died this morning."

His mother gasps on the other line and that's what breaks Kendall again; he barely hears her say that they'll be on the next flight home, muttering things that probably aren't even coherent words. When they hang up, Kendall looks at his phone and reads several text messages he received from people who were acquaintances and who had his number but weren't really his friends.

With shaky hands, Kendall manages to text Camille, figuring she's at home, and tells her to come over as soon as she can. Once that's sent, he climbs into bed and pulls the blanket over his head, curling up on the middle of the mattress; he wants to cry again but, no matter how hard he tries, he can't anymore.

Kendall falls asleep and doesn't wake up until Camille lays down beside him, wrapping her arms around his body, hugging him close. He mumbles a few words to her but stays quiet for the most part, clinging to her like his life depends on it, his face buried in the crook of her neck. She stays with him until Carlos comes back in, asking if he can stay with Kendall for a moment and Kendall doesn't want to let Camille go, but he does, albeit reluctantly.

The first night is horrible and Kendall ends up crying more later, which causes him to spend most of the night on the bathroom floor with his head in the toilet. Carlos is by his side the whole time and Kendall is thankful for it but mostly, he's upset because he sees James whenever he looks at Carlos and that just makes him want to cry more.

Eventually, Carlos gets Kendall back into his bed and he falls asleep with dry eyes, sleeping through the night until the morning when he wakes up to Carlos next to him and a cup of tea on the nightstand. He takes the tea and sips carefully, thanking his boyfriend for it before laying back down, face buried in his pillow.

* * *

Four days later, Kendall goes to James' funeral; he stands in the back of the church, listening to sad music mixed with the sobs of everyone around him and he doesn't cry until James' mother goes to speak about her son. It's the first time Kendall's ever heard her say anything nice about James and he sobs into his hand, tears staining his face even after she's done.

But, when she's done, she calls out Kendall's name and he blinks rapidly, staring up at the front of the church with his mouth open. Brooke is waving him forward and he swallows hard, running a hand down his face as he makes his way down the aisle, taking a spot behind the pulpit. He takes a deep breath and looks out across the sea of people, seeing familiar faces and some people that he's never seen before.

"James Diamond was loved by a lot of people," he starts, hands gripping either side of the stand, "and I was one of them. I know not a lot of people knew about James' secret life but I was fortunate enough to be a part of it. We were close and I loved him more than anything, though sometimes I wanted to strangle him for being vain." At that, Kendall chuckles sadly and lifts a hand, running it down his face again with a heavy sigh.

He looks out across the crowd again and smiles. "But James was amazing, as I'm sure most of you know, and he was dedicated to a lot of things. Sports, his friends, his family, and even sometimes school when it wasn't a subject that was completely boring or that didn't hold his interest for long," he continues, sniffling loudly. "He was one of the most amazing people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and I'm lucky to say that I knew him for the brief time I did."

Everyone's eyes are on him and Kendall swallows thickly, tapping his fingers against the side of the pulpit.

"I was in love with James," he says, finally, huffing out a quiet breath before he continues, "I was in love with him for years before he realized it and before he admitted that he loved me too. Before he.." Kendall pauses and swallows thickly, feeling his throat constrict as his eyes rim with tears. "Before his accident," he corrects, "he came to my house and told me that he loved me. James Diamond told me that he had always loved me and then he was gone... I never thought that would be the last time I saw him, but I honestly don't think I'd trade that last memory in for anything."

Kendall stops when he starts crying and he shakes his head. "I'll always love James; he'll always have a piece of my heart, even though he's no longer with me," he says, voice cracking. "I'm sorry, Brooke. I'm so sorry you lost him and I'm sorry that I did, too.. Maybe if things were different, none of this would have happened, but... everything happens for a reason, right?"

He stops again and moves toward the coffin, tears streaming down his face as he leans down and kisses the top, whispering, "I love you, James."

Sniffling, Kendall stands up and returns to his spot at the back of the church, running a hand down his face; he can feel everyone's eyes on him and that makes him cry harder throughout the rest of the service. When it's done and they're all instructed to meet in the graveyard, Kendall's the first one out of the door and he takes big gasps of air once he's outside, trying to keep himself from throwing up.

Someone comes up behind him and touches his back and Kendall jumps, turning to look at Brooke. "I'm sorry," she says in a quiet voice, offering him a sad smile. "I just wanted to see if you were alright."

"I'm okay," Kendall lies, nodding as he straightens up. "I'm sorry."

"I know," Brooke says, her smile fading. "Frankly, so I am; I was never the best mother and I hate that James and I never really got to know one another before he died."

Kendall nods his head and swallows thickly. "Did you know that he was gay?"

"That I did know." Nodding, Brooke looks up at Kendall and smiles again. "I knew about the two of you, but I never said anything because I didn't want James to hate me anymore than he already did."

"He didn't hate you." Brooke blinks at Kendall when he says this and he chuckles. "He didn't hate you, believe me," he says, shaking his head slowly. "If he hated you, he would have acted like he did."

Brooke purses her lips and sighs. "Do you want to walk me to the graveyard?"

"Sure," Kendall says, holding his arm out to Brooke, who loops her own around it. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Can I, uh, have some pictures of James? I don't really have many, because he never allowed me to take them."

Laughing, Brooke nods her head as they walk. "Sure, come on by the house sometime and I'll give you copies."

"Thanks." Kendall smiles and bites his lip as they walk to the graveyard slowly, making their way to a freshly dug hole in the back corner. When he sees it, Kendall freezes up but Brooke squeezes his arm, silently encouraging him to go on. He keeps walking and they stay silent until they get by the grave and Kendall lets go of Brooke's arm, intent on going to stand behind everyone else.

Brooke grabs his hand again, giving Kendall a weak smile. "Stay up here with me, please? James would want you to."

"Okay," Kendall croaks, nodding slowly as he stands next to Brooke, looking down at the coffin. He's barely listening to the priest as he talks, his eyes on the casket and then on the headstone above it. Swallowing, Kendall closes his eyes and feels Brooke squeeze his hand reassuringly until the priest stops talking and they start to lower the casket into the ground.

Kendall opens his eyes and watches it being lowered, his heart falling into the pit of his stomach until it stops completely. He's given a rose a moment later and he steps forward automatically, tossing it onto the casket. Once it's on there, he hurries away and mutters an apology to James' mother before practically running back to his car, tearing his tie off once he's behind the wheel.

Taking deep breaths, Kendall leans back against the seat and presses his face against his hands, trying to calm himself down. He starts the engine once he's calm enough and pulls away from the curb, heading down the road slowly, stopping at a stop sign and sitting at it for a few minutes, even when nothing is coming.

It takes him a long time to get home but eventually, he pulls into the driveway and he shuts the engine off, getting out of the car before moving inside, feeling sluggish. He kicks his shoes off at the door and tosses his keys and tie onto the table, moving through the living room and toward the stairs, not stopping even when his mom calls his name.

On his way up the stairs, Kendall takes his dress jacket off and tosses it onto the floor once he's in his bedroom, shutting the door behind him with more force than necessary. He gets the rest of his clothing off and throws them aimlessly onto the floor before falling down face-first onto his bed, sighing heavily.

He thinks about calling Carlos but quickly dismisses that idea because he doesn't want Carlos to see him the way he is, even though his boyfriend saw him at his worst a few days ago. Thinking about Carlos having to deal with his crying and panic attacks makes Kendall's chest tighten and he screams into his pillow, putting his hands on the back of his head.

Kendall falls asleep like that, with his face pressed against the pillow and his hands on the back of his neck, fingers linked at the base of his skull. He dreams about the way James was on the night he died and the kiss they shared and how it had been wonderful and horrible at the same time. There are also dreams of Kendall and James living happily ever after and those dreams last longer than the others for some reason Kendall will never know.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: a little bit of angst, handjobs in public, panic attacks.]

Kendall wakes up late the next morning and stays in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling with his hands folded underneath his head, mind wandering on things other than James and the fact that he's gone. He tries not to think about the fact that he lost his first love and that his last summer at home is ending on a bad note and focuses on making a mental list of things he needs for Boston instead.

He eventually gets out of bed and moves to the bathroom, getting out of his boxers as he turns the shower on, twisting the hot water on all the way before stepping in the tub. The scalding water hits his body and Kendall drops his head forward, pressing it against the shower tiles, letting the stream hit his back and shoulders. Steam fills the room and Kendall sighs heavily, bending down to turn the cold water on a little before he starts washing himself off.

Once he's done washing himself off, Kendall scrubs his body again and rinses the soap off, standing under the stream long after all the suds are gone. The water turns cold and he stands under it for a while before turning it off and stepping out, grabbing a towel from the rack and wrapping it around his waist. He moves to his bedroom, running a hand through his wet hair slowly, automatically walking to the closet, opening the doors.

When he opens the closet, Kendall grabs all of his work shirts and throws them onto the bed, shutting the closet quickly; he takes his towel off and dries off, tossing the damp fabric onto the pile of dirty clothes. He grabs clothes when he's dry and pulls them on slowly, moving in a slow, robotic fashion until he's dressed and ready to leave. When he is, Kendall grabs all of his work shirts, his name tag, and his aprons before heading downstairs, tossing them all onto the couch before heading to the kitchen.

The house is quiet and Kendall's all alone for once, his parents having gone back to work way before they were expected to, and he's honestly thankful for it. For the past couple of days, his parents have been either tiptoeing around him or they've been trying to get him to talk about it and it gets on his nerves. Kendall doesn't want to talk about anything and he doesn't want to be treated like he's going to snap any moment, even if it's true.

He grabs the orange juice from the fridge and drinks what's left in the bottle, tossing it into the trash can as he moves to a cabinet above the sink, grabbing a grocery bag before making his way back out into the living room. His work clothes get shoved into the bag and he ties it quickly, moving toward the door, slipping his shoes on before grabbing his keys and heading out of the house.

The world seems different and Kendall stops on the walkway to look around a little, biting his lip before heading to his car, getting in quickly. He tosses the bag of clothes onto the passenger seat and starts the engine, putting the car in reverse with unnecessary roughness before backing out of the driveway, trying not to think about what happened there a few days ago.

Kendall drives to work and pulls into a spot near the back entrance, shutting the car off quickly a few seconds before getting out, grabbing his bag before shutting the door. He walks to the door and swallows thickly, moving into the building slowly, keeping his eyes on the ground in front of him, his heart pounding in his chest. Part of him wishes that he had just called his boss instead of coming to work and quitting in person, but Kendall feels like his boss deserves more than that.

Other employees pass by Kendall and they look at him softly, some of them asking if he's okay; he shrugs them off and tries to force a smile, but each of them fail and he ends up grimacing at them instead. Finally, he makes his way to the back of the store and knocks on his boss's door, stuffing his hand into his pocket again, letting the bag dangle at his side.

"Come in," his boss calls out and Kendall pushes the door open, stepping inside the office. "Kendall, what are you doing here? You have a few days left of leave."

"I came here to quit,"Kendall explains, nodding as he moves forward, setting the back of clothes on the desk. "I'm leaving in two weeks anyway, so I figured I'd do it now."

His boss purses his lips and nods. "I appreciate you coming in and telling me," he replies, looking at Kendall with a sad smile.

"No problem. I'll come by and pick up my last check later in the week." Biting his lip, Kendall forces a smile and it sticks, finally. "It's been great, Steve," he says, lifting a hand to scratch the back of his neck.

"You've been a good employee," Steve says, chuckling quietly as he leans back in his seat. "You ever come back and need another job, I've always got one for you."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head, licking his lips. "Thanks for the offer, but I doubt I'll ever come back here unless it's for a short visit," he says, scratching down the side of his neck before dropping his hand.

"Well, don't forget me when you get famous, alright?"

"I won't, don't worry." With another laugh, Kendall holds his hand out to Steve and smiles. "See you around," he says, blinking when his boss gets up and comes around the end of the desk, wrapping his arms around Kendall. The hug is tight and sincere and Kendall almost wants to cry again but he holds the tears in, hugging Steve before they ease away.

"Good luck in Boston," Steve says, his hands on Kendall's shoulders. "And come visit me when you're on holiday."

Nodding, Kendall smiles and licks his lips again, biting the lower one. "Will do," he says, clapping a hand against Steve's shoulder, laughing when his boss does. "I should get going, I've got a lot of stuff to do today."

"Have a safe trip to Boston."

"Thanks," Kendall says, moving toward the door before pausing, throwing a glance at his boss again, waving before turning and disappearing through the door. He makes his way through the store quickly and goes outside, getting into his car a moment before pulling out of the parking lot, heading back home.

When Kendall gets home, he goes up to his room and grabs his phone, taking it back downstairs, scrolling through his contacts as he sits on the couch. He passes by James' number and swallows thickly, wondering if he'll ever be able to delete the other boy's number from his phone and he realizes that no, he probably never will. Letting out a sad laugh, Kendall scrolls back up and hits Carlos' name, bringing a message up.

_'Hey, can you come over?'_

He sends the message and lays back on the cushions, kicking his shoes off and letting them fall over the arm of the couch. Sighing heavily, Kendall grabs the remote and flips the television on, scrolling through the channels slowly, finally deciding on watching a show on the Animal Planet about underwater animals. When he lays the remote back on the coffee table, his phone goes off and Kendall grabs it, reading Carlos' text message.

_'Sure, just let me ask gustavo if i can leave and i'll be there soon.'_

_'Thank you.'_

Kendall watches the Animal Planet for a while before getting bored and grabbing the remote, flipping through the channels again, noticing a Teen Wolf marathon on MTV. He decides on watching that and lays back against the couch, tossing the remote onto the coffee table again, letting himself get lost in werewolves and their shenanigans.

One episode goes off and another starts playing when the door opens and Kendall looks over the arm of the couch, glancing toward the door and smiling softly when he sees Carlos in the foyer. He sits up and crosses his legs on the cushions, tucking one underneath the other, his attention going back to the TV.

"Hey, you're watching Teen Wolf," Carlos says, laughing as he comes over to the couch, sitting on the couch next to Kendall.

"Mhm, not much else on." Kendall shrugs and turns to look at Carlos, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Thanks for coming over; I didn't really feel like being alone today," he says, mumbling the words as he moves away, leaning back against the couch with a sigh.

Carlos nods his head and leans against Kendall a little. "No problem. Gustavo was cool with me leaving early to come see you."

"He's great," Kendall mumbles, laughing. "I need to buy him a gift or something."

"You know he wouldn't want you to do that."

"Well I'm going to anyway." Leaning his head against Carlos', Kendall sighs and closes his eyes. "So, how have you been? I know we haven't really talked in a few days," he says, moving a hand to Carlos' thigh, laying it there.

"I've been alright," Carlos lies, shrugging a shoulder. "Worried about you."

Kendall huffs and shakes his head. "I'm fine," he says, swallowing thickly. "Yesterday was James' funeral and that kind of killed me but... I'm fine today, I think. Just living with the aftershocks of everything that's happened."

"I can understand that."

"And I'm really nervous about leaving for Boston," Kendall mumbles, licking his lips.

Swallowing thickly, Carlos nods. "Me too," he admits, chuckling when he feels Kendall's head move away from his own. "I don't want you to leave but I know there's nothing I can do about it."

"I'm sorry.."

"It's fine, I know you're going to college and it's not to get away from me, but I don't know what's going to happen with us, you know? And that's fucking scary to me because I think you're going to go to Boston and find someone a lot better than me."

Kendall bites his lip and turns on the cushions, facing Carlos. "Is that really what you think is going to happen?"

"Yeah," Carlos admits, nodding his head slowly, folding his hands on his lap. "I mean, I've never been with someone like you before and I don't want to lose you but I have this feeling that I'm going to."

"Carlos.."

"I'm sorry to drop all of this on you, especially when you're having the worst week of your life, but when am I supposed to tell you all of these things?" Carlos turns his head and swallows, looking at Kendall with a weak smile. "I'm just afraid, Kendall."

"I know," Kendall sighs, moving a hand to cup Carlos' cheek, thumbing across his skin lightly. "I am too, okay? I'm afraid that I'll leave for Boston and we'll try to make the long distance thing work for us but it won't because you'll find someone else."

Carlos snorts and closes his eyes. "Not going to find anyone else, believe me," he says, blinking his eyes open slowly.

"You never know," Kendall offers, shrugging.

"I do know, Kendall. I know that you're pretty much the best thing I've ever had and that I'm ever going to have, and you're leaving for Boston in two weeks and I.." Carlos stops and shakes his head, sighing. "Sorry, I'll stop talking about this."

"No, keep going."

Clenching his jaw, Carlos shakes his head again and looks down at his lap, picking at his jeans. He can feel Kendall's eyes on him and he chews on his lower lip nervously, running his fingers along the inseam of his pant leg, closing his eyes slowly. Thoughts of losing Kendall to someone else who's taller and better and smarter than he is makes Carlos bite down on his lip harder, teeth sinking into the skin.

"Please, Carlos," Kendall whispers, running a hand over the back of Carlos'.

"There are so many people out there, Kendall," Carlos starts, licking his lips. "People that are smarter and better than I am and who will fit better into your life." Sniffling, he closes his eyes and swallows. "And Boston is so far away, so I'd probably never be able to come see you, so you'll find someone else just for convenience and then you'll fall in love with them."

Kendall wraps his arms around Carlos and pulls him close. "Don't think about that, okay? We'll try the long distance thing and if it doesn't work, we'll go our separate ways. We'll still be friends, though," he says, leaning his head against Carlos'.

"Okay," Carlos mutters, leaning against Kendall a little. "So..."

"I need to go shopping today," Kendall says, changing the subject. "You wanna come with me?"

Pursing his lips together, Carlos shrugs and laughs. "Sure, why not?"

"I need a lot of things but I think I'll stick to clothes shopping today... My dad and I can go get the rest of the stuff this weekend or something and if I don't get it all, I'll pick whatever up whatever I missed in Boston."

"So, when do you want to go?"

Kendall shrugs and kisses the top of Carlos' head. "Whenever," he says, sighing. "I also need to go to James' house to see his mom sometime this week, because she's going to give me some pictures of him."

"Ah," Carlos says, nodding slowly. "That's good."

They go silent and Kendall feels like he said something wrong, so he just leans his head against Carlos' for a while, rubbing his arms and back slowly. He thinks about everything Carlos said and feels like that's not all his boyfriend has to say but he doesn't want to push it, so he doesn't, not wanting to start an argument.

After a while, Carlos pulls away and smiles at Kendall. "Come on, let's get going."

"Alright," Kendall says, moving to grab the remote, turning the television off. "Can you drive?"

"Sure." Smiling, Carlos stands and holds a hand out to Kendall, helping him to his feet before leading him toward the door. They stop to pull their shoes on and Carlos goes outside, heading toward his car while Kendall locks the house, joining him a moment later. He slides into the passenger seat and settles back against it, pulling his seat belt over his torso, clicking it into place quickly.

Carlos starts the engine and backs out of the driveway, putting the car into drive before heading down the street, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as he sings along with a song that's playing quietly on the radio. As he does this, Kendall watches him with an amused smile on his face, laying his head against the back of the seat so that his cheek is resting against the fabric.

When Carlos feels Kendall's eyes on him, he stops singing and glances at his boyfriend. "What are you looking at?"

"You can sing," Kendall says, smirking. "Why didn't you tell me you can sing?"

"I can do a lot of things that I don't want anyone to know about," Carlos replies as he takes a turn. "Besides, what does it matter if I can sing? You're a lot better than I am anyway," he teases, giving Kendall a wink before turning his attention back to the road.

Pouting, Kendall turns and stares out the windshield. "Because I bet your actual singing voice is beautiful," he mumbles.

"Maybe one day you'll hear it but today? Today is unfortunately not the day for that." With a laugh, Carlos turns the radio station by pressing a button and he settles back in his seat, driving under the speed limit. "So, where are we going? To the mall? K-Mart?"

"The mall," Kendall answers almost immediately, eyes scanning the road. "I need some new shoes and some bracelets."

Carlos snorts and glances at Kendall when he stops at a red light. "Dude, I've seen how many shoes you have - you definitely do not need anymore."

"I do so! I need brand new shoes for a brand new chapter in my life." Nodding, as if to affirm that fact, Kendall cross his arms over his chest petulantly, his eyes on the hood of the car and the road just beyond it. He can feel the judgement rolling off of Carlos in waves and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, grumbling something about not having a problem with shoes, which makes his boyfriend laugh as he drives again the second the light turns green.

"I actually need a new pair too," Carlos mumbles as he drives, taking another turn before heading toward town. "So I guess I can't say anything about your little shoe habit."

Smiling, Kendall nods and licks his lips quickly. "I knew you'd say something like that," he says proudly, laughing when Carlos gasps dramatically; they both end up in a giggling fit and, for the first time, Kendall forgets about everything that's happened in the past week.

The rest of the drive is devoid of conversation and the only noises that fill the car are the low music playing from the radio and the constant purr of the engine. It's comforting and Kendall listens to it all as he watches the world pass by his window, catching a glimpse of a few people he's seen come into the store and that he knows only by what they shop for.

Eventually, Carlos pulls into the mall parking lot and drives up and down the rows of cars, trying to find a good parking spot before beating an older woman in a mini-van to one near the door. He pulls into the spot and turns the car off, doing a triumphant little fist pump before they scramble out of the car, Carlos coming up behind Kendall, wrapping both arms around his waist. Despite the significant height difference between the two of them, Kendall loves it when Carlos is behind him and he slots their fingers together, leading them toward the entrance, holding the door open for his boyfriend.

This time, Kendall comes up behind Carlos and loops both arms around his neck, pressing his hands against his boyfriend's chest as they walk toward the stores, the sound of people and noise getting louder as they approach the main level of the mall. With a heavy sigh, Kendall buries his face against the top of Carlos' head and drops an arm, maneuvering the other one so it's laying across Carlos' shoulders easily.

"Shoe store first?" Carlos asks, slipping an arm around Kendall's waist, cinching a hand around his hip.

"Could we go to Spencer's first? I saw a bracelet on their website that I wanted."

Carlos laughs and nods, leaning his head against Kendall. "Alright, to the adult store we go!"

They move through the crowd of people and stay close to one another, Kendall's hand squeezing Carlos' should whenever he's afraid they're getting too far apart and Carlos doesn't mind it. Really, he totally doesn't mind that Kendall pulls him closer to his body - so close, in fact, that Carlos swears he can feel Kendall's heart beating. He doesn't complain about it and just keeps his hold on Kendall as they walk to Spencer's, turning to walk through the entrance, apologizing to a few people when they almost run into them.

"I can't believe you shop here," Carlos grumbles, playfully, as he jabs Kendall in the side.

Kendall shrugs a shoulder and moves toward the jewelry. "I don't always shop here," he says, lifting a hand to touch the rings and necklaces, fingertips dragging across them slowly. His eyes scan the jewelry until they finally lock on the piece he was looking for - a thin, Rastafarian coloured friendship bracelet - and he grabs it, turning it over on his fingers.

After determining that the bracelet is exactly what he's looking for, Kendall turns to Carlos and smiles when he sees him looking at a purple and red friendship bracelet, turning it over in his hands with his tongue caught between his teeth like he's concentrating on it.

"Do you want it?" He asks, nudging Carlos' side with his hip.

Blinking, Carlos looks up at Kendall and bites his lip. "Sure," he says, nodding his head as he hands the bracelet to Kendall.

"Alright." Kendall smiles and turns back to the bracelets, grabbing a rainbow one, hooking his fingers through all three of them before nodding his head toward another section of the store. They move around the cramped space for a while and grab a few other things - Carlos grabs a Batman hat and Kendall gets a knit beanie - before going to the register to pay.

Once they're done in the first store, Carlos pulls Kendall toward the shoe store and they look around carefully, Kendall stopping at a few pairs of shoes that he likes, before deciding that he doesn't like them enough to buy them. Carlos laughs at him but nods his head, agreeing with everything his boyfriend says and disagreeing with the things he doesn't like. Eventually, they each find a pair of shoes that they like and that look good on them (Carlos gets a pair of black and purple shoes; Kendall grabs a pair of blue and black ones).

They leave this store, each with a bag in their hands, and head to a clothing store on the top level of the mall, walking into the store hand in hand. This earns them a look from employees and customers alike but Carlos doesn't care about the looks; he squeezes Kendall's hand and laces their fingers, letting his boyfriend lead him to a section of clothes, going on excitedly about seeing a Pink Floyd shirt in the corner.

"Do you think this will look good?" Kendall holds the tight, black fabric up to his body and Carlos looks at it, eyes scanning over the print on the front before going back to Kendall's face, smiling at his overexcited boyfriend.

"It'll look great," he says, nodding his head slowly and laughing when Kendall tosses the shirt over his shoulder. "Don't you think you should get things other than t-shirts? I don't think you're lacking in that area, but I do know that you'll probably need more jeans and some warmer clothes."

Kendall turns and purses his lips, nodding at Carlos' suggestion. "I don't have many warm clothes at the house," he explains, leading them over to where the sweatshirts are, grabbing a simple black one. "I'll take this one and I'll get another one, then we'll go look at the jeans. I'll have to try those on before I buy them."

"Sounds good to me." Carlos laughs again and holds his hand out for Kendall's bag, blushing a little when he feels the backs of his boyfriend's fingers slide against his own when he hands the plastic bag off to him. With a heavy sigh, Carlos follows Kendall to the jeans once he's grabbed another hoodie - this one in gray - and he lets the bags swing at his side as he shakes his head at how excited and happy Kendall is for once. He just wonders how long it's going to last and that thought makes him swallow hard, fearful that Kendall may snap out of this mood and revert back to being depressed.

In the end, Kendall grabs ten pairs of jeans and drags them to the dressing room with Carlos in tow. They're the only ones back there, so Carlos doesn't feel weird going into one of the bigger rooms with Kendall; he tells himself it's for moral support and to tell him which jeans look good, but it's mostly because he doesn't want to leave his boyfriend's side. Not even for a moment.

Kendall changes into pair after pair of jeans and finally decides on six of the ten he dragged into the room. He turns to takes the last pair off and tosses them onto the reject pile, moving to sit down on the small bench provided in the dressing room. Sighing, he runs a hand down his face and looks up at Carlos with a small smile, motioning for him to come over, holding a hand out to him.

Hesitating for a moment, Carlos chews on his lower lip and looks down at Kendall's hand, eyes going up his wrist and over his forearm, tracing his tattoo lightly. It doesn't take long before he's setting their bags on the ground and walking around them, taking a place on Kendall's lap, wrapping both arms around his neck, smiling at him softly.

"Thank you," Kendall whispers, moving a hand up the middle of Carlos' back, giving him a small smile. "For coming with me and making me laugh and feel better, it means a lot to me. I'm lucky to have you, you know that?"

Carlos bites his lip again and shakes his head, leaning it against Kendall's. "I'm the lucky one," he breathes, closing his eyes slowly when he feels Kendall's hand go to the back of his head, fingers traveling up his skull before going back down, skimming down the nape of his neck.

"Have you ever had sex in a dressing room?"

"I haven't," Carlos answers, laughing quietly. "And I don't think it would be a good idea."

Kendall pouts and nudges his nose against Carlos'. "Why not? No one is back here and most of the employees are in the front of the store which is  _far away_  from here." _  
_

"Because someone may hear us, all the way from there."

"Not if we're quiet," Kendall counters, smirking. "Please, Litos."

Sighing, Carlos shakes his head and opens his eyes, looking at Kendall. "I don't think having  _sex_  would be a good idea."

"So..."

"So," Carlos says, laughing in between words, "that means we can't straight up fuck in this dressing room - but we could do other things, if you really want to."

A grin breaks across Kendall's face and he licks his lips. "Like what?"

"We could give each other a handjob."

"I'm fine with that," Kendall says, moving a hand toward the front of Carlos' jeans and pops the button quickly before tugging the zipper down, laying his head back against the stall wall. "Are you okay with that?"

Licking his lips, Carlos nods his head slowly. "I'm okay with it," he says, chuckling as Kendall pushes a hand into his jeans, pressing it against the front of his boxers, rubbing his cock through the cotton slowly. He bites his lip and lets his head fall back, closing his eyes again as he pushes his hips against Kendall's hand, trying his best not to make any noises.

After a moment, Carlos drops his head toward his chest and moves his hands down to Kendall's jeans, undoing them quickly before slipping a hand inside, cupping his cock through his briefs. He starts stroking him slowly and leans forward, slotting their lips together and kissing Kendall roughly, moaning against his mouth. The noise muffles and Carlos rolls his hips up again, working his hand underneath the waistband of Kendall's briefs, dragging his fingers over his cock slowly.

Kendall's hips stutter forward when he feels Carlos' warm skin against his cock, moans drowning out against the other boy's lips as they kiss, tongues wrapping around one another in a fight for dominance. It's dizzying and maddening, the thought of doing what they're doing in a public place, but Kendall couldn't care less; he knows there's a chance of them getting caught and he honestly hopes that they do, just so it'll be an interruption in the monotony.

Reigning himself in from the pleasure, Kendall moves a hand to the pile of jeans beside them and pushes them onto the floor, barely wincing at the loud thump they make. He puts his hands on Carlos' ass and moves him onto the bench, laying him back before scrambling onto his knees between his legs, working on getting his jeans down. The denim stops around Carlos' knees and he helps Kendall push his own jeans before wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him forward for a kiss, the other hand snaking down to play with the top of Kendall's briefs.

It's hot in the dressing room and Kendall thinks about taking his shirt off but decides against it when he feels Carlos' hand on his cock again - the warm, calloused skin wrapped around his length, pumping up and down slowly. All thoughts get lost when Carlos starts stroking him and Kendall groans into the kiss, pushing his boyfriend back down on the bench, slipping a hand to the front of his boxers, giving his cock a light squeeze. He feels Carlos' moan vibrate against his lips and barely hears the muffled noise as he slides his fingers up and down the length slowly before working them underneath the waistband.

They start touching each other fervently, hands sliding up and down their cocks quickly as they kiss, trying to keep the noises at a minimum but Carlos lets out a small, squeaky moan when Kendall pulls away for air. He blushes and pants, biting his lower lip as he arches off the bench, feeling Kendall's thumb brush across the head of his cock, his other hand moving up to clamp down over Carlos' mouth.

"Shh," Kendall hisses, licking across his lips as he strokes Carlos' cock quickly. "Gotta be quiet," he adds, shaking his head a bit and sending a few drops of sweat flying off the ends of his hair that probably land on the jeans on the floor but Kendall's not worried about that.

Carlos mumbles something against the palm of his hand and Kendall feels it vibrating against his skin, shaking his head again as he leans down, pressing their foreheads together. He feels Carlos' hips push against his hand and he mimics the action, fucking into Carlos' fist as quickly as he can, feeling his orgasm build slowly. The hand on Carlos' mouth tightens and loosens once when he feels more vibration against his palm and he mumbles a quiet apology.

There's nothing romantic or attractive about the way Kendall and Carlos are going at each other; their hands fly up and down the other's cock messily as sweat drips down their bodies, drenching their shirts. When Kendall's on the edge, he pulls his hips back and then snaps them forward into Carlos' hand, coming hard in the front of his briefs, biting down on his lower lip to keep the noise in but a few small moans slip out.

Panting, Kendall stills his hand for a second and nuzzles Carlos a bit as he tries to catch his breath, pulling air deep into his lungs before exhaling sharply, pulling away a few inches to look down at his boyfriend. He licks his lips and strokes Carlos harder, thumbing across the head of his cock, twisting his wrist when he strokes down and snapping it back up his boyfriend's length, feeling hot breath falling against his palm.

With one more stroke of Kendall's hand, Carlos come and arches off the bench, all of his noises muffling against the hand covering his mouth. He slumps back against the bench afterwards, hips twitching up toward Kendall's hand until he pulls it away, sliding the one on his mouth to the side of his neck, giving Carlos a small smile.

"You good?" He asks, his voice rough and low as he gets closer to Carlos.

Carlos nods his head and closes his eyes. "I'm good," he croaks out, laughing quietly. "Messy."

"Yeah," Kendall agrees, nodding his head slowly, "me too."

"How are we supposed -" Carlos stops when he hears footsteps coming toward them and he blinks his eyes open, staring at Kendall, who's staying completely still, his breath caught in his throat. They don't move until the footsteps retreat and Carlos sighs, closing his eyes again, feeling Kendall move away from him.

"I'll go out first, pay for the clothes, and then send you a text when the coast is clear." As he speaks, Kendall wipes his hand on his briefs and makes a face, grumbling something about the fabric sticking to him when they're driving back home. Carlos tries not to laugh but a giggle escapes anyway and Kendall looks at him, grinning. "This was fun," he says, as he situates himself, doing his jeans up when they're on correctly.

Humming, Carlos nods and bites his lip. "It was, but the mess isn't going to be fun."

"We'll worry about that when we get home," Kendall says, shrugging as he grabs the pairs of jeans and everything else he's buying, along with his bag, before heading to the door. He looks back at Carlos, bites his lip, and steps out of the dressing room, making sure not to open the door more than he needs to before shutting it behind him.

Kendall walks to the register and puts the clothes down, running a hand through his sweaty hair, which attracts the cashier's attention. She asks if he's okay and Kendall nods his head, giving her a small smile as he rocks back and forth on his heels, feeling a bead of sweat trickle down the side of his neck.

When she's nearly done ringing up his clothes, Kendall grabs his phone and sends Carlos a text telling him it's okay to come out and that he'll meet him at the car. Once the message is sent, Kendall puts his phone back into his pocket and pays for the clothes, thanking the cashier when she hands him two bags. He makes his way out of the store, walking funny because the come in his briefs has dried and it's uncomfortable, but he manages to get outside and to the car, where Carlos is already waiting.

"I need to take these fucking briefs off," he says, putting all three of his bags into the backseat before getting into the front, slamming the door shut behind him. "They're starting to itch."

Carlos laughs and slides in behind the wheel, starting the car up quickly. "I'll have you home in no time," he promises as he backs out of the parking space and heads across the parking lot, pulling onto the road after stopping for only a moment.

"Thank you for coming with me," Kendall says and when he realizes what he said, he laughs and puts his hands over his face, shaking his head quickly. "I mean thank you for coming out  _shopping_  with me," he corrects, giggling against his palms.

"Well, you're welcome either way." Grinning, Carlos starts driving toward Kendall's house doing just above the speed limit, attributing the speeding to how itchy his crotch is from the fabric sticking to him. They get to the Knight house in record time and scramble out of the car once it's in park, both grabbing their bags before heading inside.

Once they're inside, Kendall goes upstairs and takes his jeans off, tossing them across the room along with his briefs, before grabbing a pair of gym shorts. He slips them on and grabs his phone from his pocket, scrolling through it as he walks into the hall and down the stairs, checking Facebook for lack of a better thing to do.

The first thing he sees on his Facebook is a picture that someone tagged him in; he opens it and stares at his screen, blinking rapidly at the photo that appears. It's a picture of Kendall and James together, but he can't recall when it was or where they were - or even who took the damn thing in the first place. He stares at James, who is sitting next to him at a table, and swallows thickly, exiting out of everything with a shaky finger.

Kendall's entire body is shaking by the time he gets to the living room and he moves to the couch numbly, unaware of Carlos standing near the door; he can hear his boyfriend talking but can't process the words that he's saying. His chest is tight and it feels like it's on fire every time he tries to gasp for a breath, his hands going to his chest, heels pressing against it. Closing his eyes, Kendall tries to take another breath, feeling tears stream down his face as he tires but finally, he gasps. It's a pathetic sound but he knows that he's breathing, if only a little bit, and he keeps doing it, trying to clear his head of any thoughts of James.

He doesn't feel Carlos until his panic attack is almost over; when he can breathe somewhat normally, Kendall feels the hands on his chest, face, and back, fingers rubbing against him until he lets out a tiny coughing noise. It hurts and burns, but Kendall's just thankful to be breathing, despite the fire he pulls into his lungs along with fresh air. Then Carlos is talking to him and he can't pay attention, the words are too fast for his mind to comprehend and Kendall screams 'stop' in his head.

Or, so he thinks he does.

"Kendall?" Carlos asks, voice soft and slow. "I'm sorry, I'll... I'll just go."

Blinking, Kendall turns to Carlos and swallows hard. "Why?" He croaks, voice raw and broken.

"Because you told me to stop talking." Carlos shakes his head and stands, clenching his jaw. "Actually, you yelled it at me, so... I should probably get going anyway. Gotta pick my sister up from a friend's house soon," he explains as he walks around the end of the couch, heading toward the door.

"Carlos, wait," Kendall says, wincing at the feeling in his throat when he speaks. "I'm sorry, I didn't.."

"You didn't mean to," Carlos finishes for him, nodding curtly when he turns to look at Kendall. "I know."

Kendall chews on his lip and gives Carlos his best puppy-dog eyes. "Stay? Please."

"I can't." With that, Carlos grabs his shoes and his bag, sighing as he straightens up. "I'll text you later, alright? If you need anything, let me know and I'll come back."

"I need  _you_ ," Kendall answers, voice cracking in a few places as he stares at Carlos with tears in his eyes. "Please, don't leave."

Sighing heavily, Carlos shakes his head and walks back to the couch, leaning over the end to give Kendall a kiss. "I'll be back later, okay? Go take a nap and stay away from all forms of social media, please."

"Okay." Kendall nods and licks his lips, leaning in to kiss Carlos again, still chasing his lips even after his boyfriend pulls away for a second time. "I love you," he offers meekly, like he's afraid Carlos is going to slap him or reject him.

"I love you too." Carlos gives Kendall a half smile before going back to the door and disappearing through it; Kendall stares after him long after the sound of his car fades away, letting tears stream down his cheeks slowly.

When he feels as though he can, Kendall gets off the couch and goes upstairs, taking each one slowly and holding onto the banister, the fire in his chest calming down with each breath he takes. He goes into his room and lays down on the middle of his bed, staring up at the ceiling with misty eyes, his vision blurred slightly. Sighing, Kendall closes his eyes and turns over onto his side, curling up into a tight ball; he falls asleep quickly and welcomes the dreamless slumber with open arms, for once thankful for not having a single dream.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: using a rubber band as means of self-injuring.]

Carlos doesn't come back and Kendall stops waiting for him after two hours, tossing his phone onto the floor as he gets off the bed, going to shut the lights off and slam the door shut. On his way back to the bed, he strips his clothes off and climbs onto the mattress, pulling the blankets over his head, curling up onto his side. Tears sting his eyes and Kendall blinks them away, shutting his eyes tightly, trying to calm his breathing down but it's ragged and shallow.

He ends up crying himself to sleep, letting one sob after another rip through him, tears still wet on his cheeks by the time he's out, clutching to his pillow tightly like it's Carlos... or James. As he sleeps, Kendall dreams about James and he pictures the wreck, imagines that he can hear the metal crushing and by the time morning rolls around, he's a sweaty mess in the middle of the mattress, whimpering quietly.

When Kendall pulls himself together, he kicks the blankets off and throws a glance at the clock, frowning at how early it is. He contemplates going back to bed when his phone buzzes on the floor, the noise muffled by his jeans and t-shirt which fell on top of it the night before. At first, Kendall ignores it until it vibrates again and he sighs heavily, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed before leaning over, pushing his clothes off the phone before grabbing it.

The screen lights up to inform Kendall that his dad is calling and he sighs, unlocking his phone before tapping 'answer.'

"Hello?" He says, once he has the phone to his ear, running his free hand through his hair.

"Hey," Christopher replies, his voice sounding too cheery for eight in the morning. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Kendall thinks about lying and saying yes, but he shakes his head. "No, you didn't," he says, yawning between words.

"Good, what are your plans for today?"

"Honestly?" Kendall starts, scratching the top of his head. "I was going to start packing and wallow in my sadness for a while until I turn into a pile of nothing," he answers, closing his eyes slowly as he suppresses another yawn.

"That's not healthy," his father replies and Kendall can just  _hear_  the frown in his voice. "Is your mom still there?"

"I don't know, why?"

Christopher chuckles nervously into the phone and Kendall sighs. "I just wanted to see if you were alone or not," he says, concern ever present in his voice. "It's not good for you to be alone right now, you know.."

"I know, dad. It's not like I  _want_  to be alone, okay? Some people just don't want to be around me right now."

"You mean Carlos?" Kendall gapes and closes his mouth loudly, his jaws snapping together. "I'll take that as a yes."

Sighing, Kendall pinches the bridge of his nose and rests his elbow on his knee. "It's not a big deal, okay? He was supposed to come back last night but he never did, so... I dunno, it was my fault. I kind of yelled at him."

"You yelled at him?"

"Yes, I screamed at him yesterday and it made him leave."

"I'm sorry, son," Christopher sighs and Kendall can hear people talking in the background.

"You're at work," he points out, running his hand over the back of his head again. "Shouldn't you be doing law things instead of talking to your adult son who is, in every definition of the word, fine?"

There's a moment of silence and some shuffling like Christopher's moving the phone to his other ear before he says, "You're more important than work right now."

"Wow," Kendall says, blinking his eyes open to stare at the wall. "Did you really say that?"

"What? It's true."

"Yeah, I know it is... I just - I'm not used to hearing it, that's all."

Christopher sighs heavily and Kendall bites his lip, waiting for his father to say something. "I'm sorry about all of this, Kendall - about James and everything you're going through. I wish I could help more than I have, but I don't know what to do," he says, and Kendall can hear the raw emotion in his voice.

"It's..." Kendall pauses and swallows thickly, switching the phone from one hand to the other. "It's alright, dad, okay? I'm fine, it's nothing you can change or help with because I need to do this on my own. I'll be out of here soon so I can start fresh, get my mind off of everything that's happened."

"I know, but I'm still sorry," his father offers, clearing his throat. "Uh, Kendall? I've gotta go, but I'll see you tonight, okay?"

Nodding, Kendall closes his eyes again and turns his face toward the floor. "Yeah, okay. Have fun at work," he says, just before his father hangs up and the line goes dead. With a heavy sigh, Kendall pulls his phone away from his ear and stares at the screen, noticing that he has a couple of messages.

Kendall opens them up and sees three names: Camille, Carlos, and Logan; he taps Camille's name first.

 _'Kendall, are you okay?'  
_ ' _We're worried about you.'_  
'Call one of us, please..'  
'We love you.'

Snorting, Kendall goes back to the messages and taps Logan's name.

 _'Dude, answer your phone.'  
_ _'Please? It's important!'  
_ _'Come on, Kendall, please..'  
_ _'Carlos is worried and he's freaking out right now.'  
_ _'Call me_.'

He sighs and goes back, finally tapping Carlos' name, looking at the long list of messages from him.

_'Sorry I couldn't come by. Parents went out, had to watch Alex. Rain check?'  
_ _'Kendall, come on, don't be upset with me, please.'  
_ _'I'm getting worried, dude, Camille hasn't heard from you either.'  
_ _'And neither has Logan..'  
_ _'please kendall, answer..'  
_ _'kendall please.. tellme youre okay.'  
_ _'going tobed, text in the morning plesase.'_

The typos in the last few texts make Kendall swallow thickly and he runs a hand down his face, staring at the screen before exiting out of his messages. He puts his phone on silent and tosses it onto the bed quickly as he stands up, moving around the room slowly, picking up pieces of clothing off the floor.

Once he sees that he has more than an armful of clothes to wash, Kendall goes down the hall and grabs two laundry baskets from the guest room, leaving the door open as he heads back to his own room. He sets the baskets down and tosses his dirty clothes into them, not stopping until they're both full and when he can partially see the floor where all the clothes where.

Sighing, Kendall grabs the baskets and drags them down the hallway, going down the stairs and through the kitchen, heading into the laundry room. He flicks the light on and starts the washing machine, pouring detergent into it before piling the clothes in until he can't fit anymore inside, shutting the top of the machine. On his way out of the room, he turns the light off and leaves the baskets sitting in front of the washer and dryer, moving to the fridge with little interest in eating, but he figures he should at least try.

In the end, Kendall settles on a bowl of cereal and he eats it on the counter, his legs swinging back and forth, heels hitting the cabinet doors underneath his feet. As he eats, he listens to the loud noises coming from the washing machine and he drinks the milk in his bowl slowly, setting it in the sink once it's empty. He sits there for another moment before hopping off the counter and moving through the house, going into the garage where a stack of cardboard boxes are laying, each of them folded and stacked on top of one another.

Kendall grabs a stack of boxes and goes back inside, heading through the house to grab a few more odds and ends: a black magic marker, a roll of clear tape, and a bottle of water from the fridge. When he has everything, Kendall goes back upstairs and dumps everything onto his bed, setting the water on the nightstand before turning to look at the mess of stuff on his floor, frowning at it all.

The first thing he does is assemble some boxes, putting them together with tape before writing 'clothes' on the side of one in big, bold letters. Once that's done, Kendall drags the box over to the closet and opens the doors, surveying the clothing inside to determine what he wants - or needs - to wear in his last few weeks at home and what can be packed up. Most of his new clothes go into the box and Kendall folds them before laying them neatly on the bottom of the cardboard box, throwing flannel shirts on top of his jeans, not bothering to be organized anymore.

Time goes by and Kendall cleans out his closet of the clothes he doesn't think he'll need, putting them in two boxes that are clearly marked 'clothes,' which are sitting on the floor near his bed. He grabs another box and assembles it quickly, writing 'records' on it, before moving over to his record collection, putting all of them into the box carefully, before taping the top closed.

Two hours pass and Kendall stacks box after box on the floor until he's out of them, stepping back to look at his room, which is mostly barren except for his guitars, his bed, the dresser, the posters on the wall, and a few pieces of clothing that are strewn about the floor. He sighs and grabs his water off the nightstand, twisting the cap off before taking a long gulp, setting it back down before snatching his phone, tapping the screen, which says he has three new text messages and one missed call.

Kendall ignores them, locking his phone as he grabs his water again and a pair of pants off the floor, slipping the device into the back pocket as he makes his way out of his room. He walks down the hall and goes down the stairs, tossing his pants onto the couch before heading into the kitchen, stopping just long enough to put his water back into the fridge. After doing that, Kendall goes into the laundry room and opens the top of the washing machine, pulling his wet clothes out before loading them into the dryer and turning that on.

After putting another load of clothes into the washing machine, Kendall goes into the living room and walks around the front of the couch, grabbing his pants. He slips them on quickly and leaves the button and zipper undone as he goes back upstairs, heading into his father's office immediately. The door shuts quietly behind him as Kendall moves inside the room, going to the desk; he runs his fingers along the edge and looks at a container of rubber bands, chewing on his lip carefully.

With shaky fingers, Kendall opens the container and pulls a rubber band out, sliding it over his wrist, the rubber catching on his arm hair and pulling a little. He winces slightly and sets the container back down as he goes around the office, running his fingertips underneath the elastic band, pulling it out a little before letting it snap back against his skin. It's something he learned to do after being depressed for so many years and Kendall hasn't done it in a while, so the feeling of the rubber snapping against his flesh is almost new to him.

Welcoming the familiar pain, Kendall keeps snapping the rubber band against his wrist as he moves around the office, not really doing anything but looking at the things on the wall, smiling at a family photo of them at the beach. When his wrist is red and raw, Kendall stops snapping the band and leaves the room, shutting the door quietly behind him though he's the only one in the house. He moves down the hall and back down the stairs, getting to the middle one when someone knocks on the door and he freezes, hand gripping the banister tightly.

A moment passes and the knock on the door comes again, startling Kendall into reality and forcing him to go down the stairs quickly, doing his jeans up on the way. When his button is snapped into place, Kendall opens the door and isn't surprised to find Camille standing on his front porch, frowning deeply at him.

"Where have you been? We've been texting you all night," she says, moving into the house to throw her arms around Kendall's waist, hugging him tightly. He shuts the door behind her and wraps an arm around her shoulders, giving her an awkward, one-armed hug.

"I've been home," he mumbles when they ease apart, shrugging nonchalantly. "I didn't have my phone on, sorry."

Camille stares at Kendall and narrows her eyes. "Are you telling me the truth?"

"Of course, why would I lie about that?"

"Because Carlos thinks you're mad at him for some reason," Camille explains, crossing her arms over her chest.

Furrowing his brow, Kendall stares right back at Camille and shrugs. "Why would I be mad at him?"

"Kendall, tell me the truth."

"There's  _nothing_  to tell," Kendall barks at her, clenching his jaw as he moves his hand to the rubber band around his other wrist, pulling it back before letting it snap into place once more. He doesn't realize he did it until Camille's eyes go down to where his fingers are and she gasps, gaze coming back to Kendall's. "What?"

"What are you doing?"

Kendall swallows thickly and snaps the elastic again. "Nothing," he says, shrugging a shoulder again.

"That is  _so_  not nothing and you know it!" Camille's voice is high and shrill now as he comes closer to Kendall, arms at her sides. "I want to know what you're doing and if Carlos knows about it. I know you're upset, Kendall, but don't do this," she motions to Kendall's wrist, which is red again, and looks up at him with pleading eyes.

"I'm not just  _upset_ ," Kendall corrects, clenching his jaw more, fingers playing with the rubber band. "You get upset when your car breaks down or when your favourite show is canceled. But what I'm feeling right now, Camille? It's not me being upset; it's me being depressed because I lost someone that I loved. The first boy I've ever loved, in fact, and the person I lost my virginity to. I know that may not mean a lot to you, but it means a fuck ton to me."

Camille gapes at Kendall and closes her mouth, nodding slowly. "I get it, honey," she starts, moving closer with small, cautious steps until she's sure that Kendall isn't going to back away, "but you can't do that. You can't hurt yourself when you have people around you who are trying to help you."

"I don't need anyone's help." The words are meant to be confident, but they fall short, Kendall's voice cracking as he says them.

"You may think so, but you do need our help, Kendall," Camille says, taking Kendall's hands in her own. "Please, don't do this, okay? Just... take the rubber band off and sit down with me. We'll talk about anything you want and if you don't want to talk, we'll just sit there and stare at each other."

Swallowing, Kendall looks down at his and Camille's hands, nodding. "I yelled at Carlos," he says numbly, moving his hands away from hers to take the rubber band off, dropping it into her palm. "Did he tell you that?"

"He told me that you were stressed and that he doesn't blame you." Camille puts the rubber band in her pocket and takes Kendall's hands away from his face, rubbing them slowly. "No one blames you for anything, sweetie."

"I caused James' accident."

Camille shakes her head and squeezes his hands softly. "You didn't cause anything to happen, Kendall. Things like that happen for a reason and they're no one's fault, okay? Please believe me - you had absolutely nothing to do with James' accident."

"But I  _did_ ," Kendall whines, closing his eyes when he feels tears come on. "I told him to go home when I knew he was drunk and he listened to me, Camille. If I had told him to stay, to sleep at my house, he'd still be alive and I wouldn't feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world."

"You didn't do anything," Camille repeats, her voice a quiet whisper. "You know that you didn't."

Kendall shakes his head and drops it against Camille's shoulder, wrapping both arms around her waist as he starts to cry, his shoulders shaking as he sobs. He feels a hand on the back of his head, fingers moving through his hair slowly, Camille's voice right next to his ear, whispering that it'll be okay and for him to let it all out and he obeys, sobbing harder.

Somehow, they end up on the couch and Kendall's practically in Camille's lap, sobbing against her shoulder, fingers digging into the fabric of her shirt, tugging on it roughly. He cries until he can't anymore and when the only noise that leaves his throat is a squeaky whimper, a pathetic noise that muffles against Camille's neck, his face buried against it, getting her skin wet with tears. When he's calmed down enough, Kendall moves away from her lap and runs a hand down his face, wiping the tears away.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, sniffling loudly as he looks down at his hands, folding them onto his lap. "I'm so sorry," he chokes out again, letting a hiccuping sob leave his throat again.

"Shh," Camille whispers, moving a hand to the back of his head, stroking it slowly. "It's okay, don't worry about it. I've seen guys in far worse positions than you, so don't even sweat it."

Kendall tries to laugh but the sound comes out broken. "Still sorry."

"It's fine."

"I leave for Boston soon," Kendall says, changing the subject as he wipes his hand against his jeans, sniffling again. "And I'll be gone, which means Carlos can find someone better and I'll be all alone."

Chewing her lip, Camille nods and works her fingers through Kendall's hair. "I doubt that Carlos is going to find anyone else."

"Why? He's great, smart, sexy... he'll find someone the very next day."

"Do you honestly not see how completely in love with you that boy is?"

Kendall blinks and looks up at Camille, quirking a brow, not saying anything, so she sighs.

"Carlos called me last night and started crying because he was worried that you were doing something stupid or that you hated him. I tried to calm him down and tell him that you weren't doing either of those things, but he wouldn't listen; he cried so hard that I heard him throw up on the other end, before he hung up. Now, does that sound like someone who's just going to move on the moment you're gone?"

"He..."

"Yes," Camille interrupts, "he did."

Biting his lip, Kendall shakes his head and runs a hand over his face again. "I'm such a horrible boyfriend," he groans, pressing both of his palms against his face, digging his fingertips against his forehead.

"Shut up."

"It's true!"

Camille pulls Kendall's hands away from his face and then smacks the back of his head. "No, it's not. You didn't do anything wrong, not at all, okay? Carlos was worried that  _he_  did something to upset you, but I don't think that he did, did he?"

"No," Kendall mumbles, swallowing thickly. "He didn't."

"See? You two just need to sit down and talk like the big boys you are. I love you both, but I can't be playing Dr. Phil until you leave for Boston, because I want to _enjoy_  the last few weeks I have with you and I know that Carlos does, too."

For a moment, Kendall goes quiet and he stares down at his lap, picking at the inseam of his jeans, chewing on his lower lip. He thinks about everything Camille's said and he sighs, closing his eyes as he swallows thickly, flicking the inside of his thigh as he blinks his eyes open again, looking up at his best friend, nodding.

"Okay," he says, nodding once more. "I won't do the rubber band thing anymore and I'll talk to Carlos."

Smiling, Camille leans in and kisses Kendall's cheek lightly. "And Logan, because he was freaking out last night, too."

"I know, I got all of your texts," Kendall grumbles, laughing when Camille bites his cheek. "Hey, stop it, I'm a happily taken man."

"And I'm a happily taken  _woman_ ," Camille reminds him, poking him in the ribs.

Kendall pulls Camille into a hug and sighs heavily. "I know," he says, grinning at her when they ease apart. "Do you think that Logan is the one you're going to be with for the rest of your life?"

"I honestly don't know, but I hope so, yeah. He's really sweet and he's kind of perfect." Camille blushes and chews on the edge of her lip, smacking Kendall on the bicep when he laughs at her, rolling her eyes. "What about Carlos - do you think he's the one for you?"

"I do, but I don't think it's going to work between us, honestly. I mean, he can't come to Boston with me and I'll only be back a couple of times a year, if at all, so who knows when we'll see each other?"

"Long distance can work sometimes," Camille offers, shrugging as she leans back against the arm of the couch.

Pursing his lips together, Kendall shrugs and moves a hand through his hair. "I don't know if this one will, Camille. I mean, I want it to work out so fucking bad, but I feel like it's just going to fall apart once I'm in Boston and I get busy with school."

"And your new friends... you'll forget all about little ol' me."

"No I won't," Kendall says, rolling his eyes. "We can Skype every weekend and I'll be back around the holidays, so we can spend those together unless you're spending them with Logan."

Camille nods and smiles. "I'll understand if you forget about me and you become famous, because I'll be able to say that I knew you and everyone will be jealous," she says, sticking her tongue out at Kendall when he swats at her calve. "And you're going to be famous one day, I can feel it in my gut."

"So will you."

"Nah, I don't feel like I will be. I mean, I'd love it if I were to become a famous actress, but I feel like I should have a back-up career, you know? Something to fall back on when the whole Hollywood thing falls through."

Kendall nods and closes his eyes, leaning against the back of the couch. "What do you want to do, if you can't act?"

"I don't know, but I'll figure it out; I've still got time to do that, right?"

"Right," Kendall agrees, laughing quietly. "I think if I bomb at the music thing -"

"Which you  _won't_ ," Camille interrupts.

" - then I'll probably become a therapist or something and help kids."

"That's very honorable."

Scoffing, Kendall opens his eyes and rolls them at Camille. "Thanks," he mutters, letting his eyes flutter shut again.

"When you get famous, do I get free tickets to see you in concert?"

"Of course," Kendall murmurs, smiling at his best friend. "You and Logan both get free concert tickets to come see me wherever you guys are."

"Good," Camille says, humming quietly as she closes her own eyes, settling against the arm of the couch.

They fall into a comfortable silence and Kendall blinks his eyes open a few minutes later, looking at Camille with a soft smile. He sighs quietly and lays his head back against the couch, letting his eyes flutter shut again, thinking about what he's going to say to Carlos when they do talk later. His stomach twists in knots when he thinks about talking to his boyfriend and he swallows thickly, shifting on the couch a bit, which gets Camille's attention.

She blinks her eyes open and settles her gaze on Kendall, smiling. "I should probably go," she mutters, pushing herself up into a sitting position. "I've got things to do at home and school supplies to go shopping for later."

"Yeah, I've gotta pack some more stuff and take everything into the guest room until moving day comes." Kendall groans and sits up, standing on his feet a second later, holding his hand out to Camille, who takes it eagerly. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Definitely." Camille laughs and leans up on her tiptoes to press a kiss against Kendall's cheek, squeezing his hand. "If you need me for anything or feel like you want to hurt yourself again, just call me, alright? I'll drop whatever I'm doing and I'll come right over."

Kendall rolls his eyes and laughs, but nods his head in agreement. "I'm probably going to be fine, as long as I stay busy and I'm going to get Carlos over here later, so we can talk about some things."

"That's a good plan," she mumbles, pulling Kendall toward the door and stopping in front of it. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks. Good luck with whatever you're doing at home and shopping."

Giggling, Camille pokes Kendall in the ribs again and then hugs him, before pulling away. "See you," she says, waving a little before opening the door and stepping out onto the porch. Kendall stands in the doorway and watches her walk down the street, waving his hand at her when she turns around to look at him.

He shuts the door when she's out of sight and sighs, running a hand down the side of his face, eyes going to the stairs. As he makes his way to the staircase, Kendall grabs his phone and scrolls through his contacts, selecting Carlos' name before bringing a message up, nearly stumbling over one of the stairs as he types a simple message.

_'Sorry about last night, come over after work please?'_

Kendall sends the text and puts his phone back into his pocket as he steps into his room, immediately grabbing a box before taking it down the hall and laying it on the floor of the guest room. He does the with each box and then goes back into his room to look around, trying to figure out if he missed anything.

For the next few hours, Kendall cleans his room and does more laundry, trying to keep his mind off of everything and especially off of the conversation he's going to have with Carlos. He has a feeling in his gut all day that it's not going to go well and Kendall hopes that he's wrong for once, not wanting to fight with his boyfriend or cause things to be worse than they already are.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: thoughts of self-harm, blowjobs, hair pulling, dirty talk, gagging, biting, nipple play, Kendall coming on Carlos.]

When his parents come home, Kendall is sprawled out on the couch with one leg hooked over the back of it and the other hanging off the cushions, knee mere inches away from the carpet. His attention is on the television and the southern brides picking out wedding dresses so he doesn't notice them at first, not until he hears a loud clatter against the floor. The noise pulls Kendall's gaze away from the TV and he drops his leg off the back of the couch, sitting up quickly to look over near the door, heart racing in his chest.

"What the fuck was _that_?" Kendall asks, voice high pitched and squeaky.

"I dropped my briefcases," Christopher explains, chuckling as he bends down to grab them; he straightens up and looks at Kendall, his attention going past his son, locking on the TV. "What are you watching?"

Blinking, Kendall turns and looks at the television, shrugging. "There's nothing else on and these brides are fucking crazy."

"That happens to all women," his mother chimes in from the kitchen, laughing. "How was your day, honey?"

"It was fine," Kendall lies, mumbling the words as he turns the television off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table. "I got most of my things packed and put into boxes, so that's one less thing I need to do before I leave."

Christopher nods and peels his jacket off, hanging it up. "Did Carlos come over?"

Hearing Carlos' name makes Kendall swallow hard and he looks down at his lap, picking at his jeans distractedly, wishing he had his rubber band... until he remembers his promise to Camille. He sighs heavily and gives his dad a one-shoulder shrug, titling his head to the side as he runs his fingers over his knee, chewing on the edge of his lip gently.

"Well," Jennifer starts, moving over to the back of the couch to put a hand on the back of Kendall's head, "are you going to see him tonight? Because your father and I are going out with some friends and we -"

"Don't want me to be alone," Kendall finishes for her, suppressing a snort as he turns his face up to look at his mother. "I asked him to come over after work, but I haven't heard anything from him yet... and even if he doesn't come over, I'll be fine."

Jennifer purses her lips together and strokes Kendall's hair slowly. "I know, I'm just worried about you, that's all. I know things have been tough in the past week and I don't want to leave you alone."

"Mom, I'll be fine. Scout's honor, or whatever."

"Okay." Jennifer nods and leans down to press a kiss to the top of Kendall's head before moving away and heading toward the stairs. She goes up them quickly and Kendall watches after her, waiting until she's at the top of the stairs to turn away and look at his father, sighing heavily.

Slipping his hands into his pockets, Christopher comes over with a small smile. "This weekend, we'll go and get everything else you need for Boston, okay?"

"Sounds great," Kendall mumbles, lifting a hand to card it through his hair, dragging his fingers through it slowly.

"I can't believe you'll be gone soon," his father sighs, rocking back on his heels with his eyes locked on Kendall.

Kendall snorts and moves his hand down his neck, fingernails scratching his skin lightly. "Yeah, me either. I'll be in Boston in two weeks, starting school and making new friends," he says, trying to make his voice sound happy and light but he fails.

"It'll be fine," Christopher says, moving over to clap a hand on his son's shoulder. "You'll be busy with classes and friends, you won't have time to miss anyone here."

"Not even mom? Carlos? Logan? What about Camille?"

"Well, I didn't.." Christopher sputters, pursing his lips together before moving a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean it like that and you know that, Kendall. I just meant you'll be busy and it'll keep your mind off of things."

Scoffing, Kendall moves off the couch and slips his hands into his pockets. "Do you honestly believe that classes and friends will keep me from thinking about Carlos? Or about James? Or about how my life was great up until a week ago and now everything's just turned to shit."

"It's natural for you to think about what happened, Kendall, but it won't be all that's on your mind."

"You  _think_  that," Kendall says, clenching his jaw as he stares at his father, anger pulsing through him and hot tears rimming his eyes. "But nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing - will make me forget about what happened to James. I may forget everything else, but that? I'll never be able to put out of my mind because James was the..." he stops himself and swallows thickly, shaking his head as he blinks, sending tears streaming down his cheeks.

"James was the what?" Christopher asks, voice soft and concerned. "You can tell me anything."

That pulls a laugh from Kendall's chest and the noise comes out broken, almost like a sob. "I lied when I said that James and I never had anything going on between us," he forces himself to say, letting tears fall as he continues, "and the truth is that he was the first boy that I had ever loved; the first person I was ever with and I loved him, dad. I fucking  _loved him_ and now he's gone - just like that. And - and Carlos is fucking great, okay? He's perfect and sweet and everything I want, but James being gone  _hurts_ , it hurts so fucking much and I just want it to stop. I want to stop feeling guilty because I sent him home that night; I knew he was drunk and I still let him drive, because I thought he'd be okay, but he wasn't.."

Christopher looks at his son and frowns, moving toward him until Kendall holds up his hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't know," he whispers.

"No one did," Kendall croaks, voice breaking as he tries to keep himself from sobbing. "I'm torn between w-wanting to be alone and wanting Carlos here, because I'm afraid of what I might do if I'm left all alone," he admits, lifting a hand to brush the tears away from his cheek, sighing heavily.

"Then maybe your mother and I shouldn't go out," his father says, his frown deepening.

Kendall shakes his head and wipes his face again, sniffling loudly. "I'll be fine for a while and I think Carlos is coming over, but I won't know for sure until I text him again and ask," he replies, sniffling again.

"Okay," Christopher says, nodding his head slowly. "But if you don't want us to go, we can -"

"Go," Kendall interrupts, mustering up all his strength to give his father a half-smile that is genuine. "I'll feel bad if I keep you guys here when you're supposed to be out."

At that moment, Jennifer comes back downstairs wearing a black dress in place of her scrubs, both hands on her hips as she steps off the bottom stair, looking between Kendall and Christopher, an eyebrow raised. They turn to look at her and Kendall smiles, making a small sobbing noise in the back of his throat before clearing it, giving his mother half a smile.

"You look pretty," he says, shoving his hand back into his pocket, his smile widening when his mother grins at him.

"Thank you," she replies, sliding her hands off her hips. "Why are you crying? Is everything okay?"

Blinking quickly, Kendall nods his head and chuckles brokenly. "Everything's good," he says, pulling his hands out of his jeans to make a shooing motion at his parents, trying to laugh more but the noise comes out cracked and broken. "Now, shoo, go have fun out on the town with your fancy friends."

"Alright, we're going," Christopher says, backing up to the door before grabbing his jacket again, shrugging into it. "If you need anything, call us, okay? We'll come right home."

Kendall moves around the end of the couch and nods, smiling when his mom comes by to kiss his cheek. "I'll be fine, but if I really do need anything, I'll let you guys know."

"Good," Jennifer says, laughing as she stops at the door to adjust her heels before grabbing a jacket of her own. "We'll be back sometime later tonight and if you  _do_  have anyone over, don't break anything."

"No breaking anything, gotcha." Kendall nods and smiles, moving a hand to the back of his neck, scrubbing it nervously.

"And no parties," Christopher adds, pointing a finger at Kendall, who rolls his eyes. "I mean it."

"Are you really worried about me throwing a party on such short notice?"

Christopher purses his lips and shrugs, the edges of his lips curving up into a smile. "I don't know, you may be good at that sort of thing."

"I can assure you that I am not," Kendall says, shaking his head as he follows his parents out the door, stopping on the porch. "You two have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Both of his parents laugh and wave over their shoulders before they get into the car; Kendall watches them pull out of the driveway before heading back into the house, shutting the door behind him. He sighs heavily and drags his hand down the side of his neck, feeling a thin layer of sweat on his skin, frowning at it as he walks toward the couch again.

Kendall flops down on the cushions and grabs his phone, unlocking it before going through his contacts again, going to Carlos' name immediately. He brings a message up and taps his thumbs against the side of the device, staring at the screen as he chews on his bottom lip, trying to think of something to say. A moment later, he starts moving his thumbs against the screen, tapping out:  _'Hey, don't know if you got my message earlier, but please come over? I love you.'_

Once the message is sent, Kendall lays his phone on the cushion beside him and stares blankly at the TV, chewing on his lip a little harder, scratching the inside of his wrist. He looks down and cocks his head to the side, watching as his fingertips drag up the inside of his forearm, swallowing thickly when he thinks about other things he could do to himself other than the rubber band thing. Technically, Kendall never promised Camille that he wouldn't hurt himself in other ways, just that one, and he closes eyes slowly, wondering if it would be worth it.

After a moment, Kendall gets off the couch and goes around the end, heading upstairs quickly, all thoughts about harming himself pushed out of his mind. Even though he wants to do it, Kendall thinks about Carlos, Camille, and Logan and how they would react when they found out and that makes him sick to his stomach. He knows that Camille would be disappointed and that Carlos would probably blame himself; Kendall doesn't know how Logan would react, but he doesn't want to find out.

Instead of harming himself any further, Kendall goes into his room and grabs a pack of cigarettes out of his nightstand, snatching a lighter off the top before heading back downstairs. By the time he gets to the lower level of the house, Kendall's got a cigarette stuck between his lips and he's got the pack stuck in his back pocket, flicking the lighter on and off as he makes his way to the door. He steps out onto the porch and just barely gets the door shut before he's lighting the end of his cigarette, inhaling deeply as he slips the lighter into his front pocket.

Kendall looks past the glowing end and turns his head, staring down the street as he sucks smoke into his lungs, holding it there as he curls his fingers around the filter. He pulls the cigarette away and lets a stream of gray smoke flow from between his lips, watching as it goes toward the sky before disappearing completely.

Smoking is relaxing to Kendall and he puts the cigarette back between his lips, taking a long pull from it as he closes his eyes, making a noise like a moan in the back of his throat. The smoke burns his lungs - like it always does - and he takes comfort in the pain, keeping it held in until he's almost choking and, when that happens, he lets the smoke out quickly, coughing as he smacks himself on the chest. It's a dumb ass thing to do and Kendall knows it, but he also knows that smoking is a lot better than cutting himself or snapping a rubber band against his wrist. At least with smoking, the side effects aren't immediate and no one will be disappointed at him for doing it. So it's a win-win in Kendall's book.

A car pulls into the driveway when Kendall's halfway done with his cigarette and he drops it onto the porch, grinding it out with the heel of his foot, hissing a little at the pain. He crosses his arms over his chest and watches Carlos get out of his car, heart pounding in his chest as he licks his lips slowly, tasting cigarette smoke against his skin. The seconds between Carlos walking up the walkway and him stepping onto the porch seem to drag on forever, driving Kendall mad until Carlos is standing in front of him.

"You smell like smoke," Carlos points out, cocking his head to the side as he looks up at Kendall.

Kendall shrugs and licks his lips again, smiling a little. "Gotta do something to relieve stress," he replies.

"Yeah, I guess that's true." With a chuckle, Carlos moves his hand to Kendall's arm and sighs. "Are you alright?"

"A little stressed," Kendall admits, closing his eyes briefly when he feels Carlos' rough skin again his arm. "I'm better now that you're here."

Carlos smiles softly and nods his head, tipping it toward the door. "Are you going to invite me in?"

Laughing, Kendall moves away and opens the door for Carlos, following him inside before leading him to the kitchen. Once there, he goes to grab two beers from the fridge and twists the tops off, laying them on the counter before going to the table, handing a bottle to Carlos with a smile. He sits down quickly and takes a long pull from his beer, wrapping both hands around the bottom as he watches Carlos drop into a seat next to him, doing the same with his own bottle.

"I'm sorry about what happened last night," he starts off, licking his lips slowly, tasting beer and cigarettes on them. "I didn't mean to yell at you and I feel like an asshole for it... I'm just stressed out, what with James' death and moving to Boston soon.."

Carlos shakes his head and leans forward, setting his beer on the table. "It's fine," he says, moving a hand to Kendall's, thumbing across his knuckles slowly. "I wasn't mad at you, I was just worried when you didn't call or text any of us back."

"I know," Kendall sighs, moving a hand away from his beer, setting it on top of Carlos'. "I was just upset because I expected you to come back and I thought I might have scared you off. I don't want to do that, Carlos; I never want to scare you off because I love you."

"I love you too." The words are soft and Kendall shivers a bit when he hears them, turning his hand over in Carlos', wrapping his fingers around his boyfriend's. "And you'll never scare me off," Carlos mumbles, leaning forward to brush his nose against Kendall's cheek, laughing when he mumbles 'quit it.'

Kendall giggles quietly and closes his eyes, mumbling, "Do you promise?"

"Promise," Carlos answers, dragging the tip of his nose down the length of Kendall's jaw, kissing it softly.

"Can we talk about something, like, seriously talk?"

Pulling away, Carlos nods and squeezes Kendall's hand. "Of course, what do you want to talk about?"

Kendall takes a deep breath and turns to look at Carlos, snagging his teeth on his lower lip before chewing on it nervously. He doesn't want to have this conversation, not now, but he knows that they need to do it before it's too late. The thought of him leaving and not knowing what's going to happen with their relationship scares Kendall; he just wants to have some sort of plan for what's going to happen when he starts school, that's it.

"You want to be with me, no matter what, right?" Kendall asks, eyes raking over Carlos' face carefully, watching as his eyebrows knit together and the way he screws the side of his mouth up. His heart is pounding in his chest, stomach twisting nervously as he keeps his eyes on Carlos, waiting for him to answer.

"Yes," Carlos answers, licking across his lips slowly as he nods. "I want to be with you no matter what."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kendall nods slowly and swallows. "So, do you think we can try the long distance thing? I mean, I'll be gone for four months but I'll be back for Christmas and I can spend almost all of my break with you then," he explains, brushing his thumb across the back of Carlos', a hopeful smile playing at the corner of his lips.

Carlos thinks about what Kendall's saying and swallows thickly, asking himself if he thinks he could do it. He wonders if he can be with someone who's fourteen hundred miles away and surrounded by people who are talented and probably a hell of a lot more interesting than Carlos is. The more he thinks about that, the more Carlos thinks about Kendall cheating on him with someone else and that makes his stomach knot.

But, on the other hand, Carlos would do just about anything to be with Kendall - so if that means only seeing him once every couple of months and relying on text messages, phone calls, and Skype sessions to tide him over until the next time they're together? Then Carlos thinks that he could definitely do it because time flies, right? And distance makes the heart grow fonder and the rest of that shit.

"We can try it," Carlos answers after a while, dragging his teeth over his lower lip as he looks into Kendall's eyes, smiling. "And you'll be back home for summer, right? That's a couple of months we'll have together before you go back to Boston."

"I actually don't know if I'd be back for summer," Kendall admits, cheeks turning red as he speaks, "because I might take a few classes during the summer or pick up a job while I'm out there."

That makes Carlos' heart shatter but he tries to keep the smile on his face. "Then I can try to come see you during the summer," he says, trying to keep his voice even as he nods, swallowing thickly. "I'm sure if I save up money and ask Gustavo real nice, he'll let me take off and go see you."

"That'd be great." The smile on Kendall's face almost makes Carlos feel better but it doesn't all the way; he still feels like his heart was broken into a million pieces and he starts to doubt that they'll be able to make it work with Kendall so far away. "And we'll text and call and Skype whenever I can," Kendall says, voice cheery.

"Mm," Carlos agrees, moving a hand to Kendall's face before pulling him forward, kissing him roughly. He kisses Kendall as a distraction and as a way of keeping himself calm, though it's just barely working. Even with Kendall's mouth moving against his own and the other boy's tongue prying his lips apart, Carlos is thinking about everything and he closes his eyes to keep the tears in.

They ease apart and Kendall moves a hand to the back of Carlos' neck, thumbing across the base of his skull, licking his lips slowly. Carlos doesn't open his eyes until he feels calmed down enough to look at his boyfriend, brown eyes blinking open slowly before settling on green irises, locking on them. He forces himself to smile before he shifts forward, sliding onto Kendall's lap awkwardly, wrapping both arms around his neck, pulling himself closer to Kendall's body.

Kendall cups Carlos' jaw and pulls him down for a chaste kiss, smiling against his lips. "Wanna go upstairs?"

"Yes," Carlos answers immediately as he pulls his arms away from Kendall's neck and slides off his lap, standing next to his chair with a hand out. He breathes softly through his nose when he feels Kendall's hand slide against his own and he leads them through the kitchen once the other boy is standing, their fingers lacing together.

Carlos leads Kendall to the stairs and they take them slowly; Kendall trails behind Carlos and squeezes his hand lightly, brushing their thumbs together until they're to the top of the staircase. He lets himself be pulled into his room and drops his hand, shutting the door behind them as he watches Carlos turn around, moving a hand to the zipper of his hoodie, dragging it down slowly. Kendall watches and licks his lips before moving toward his boyfriend, wrapping both hands around his hips and pulling him closer as he leans down, pressing their lips together.

Humming quietly, Kendall closes his eyes and presses a hand flat against the small of Carlos' back, keeping the other hand wrapped firmly around his hip as they kiss, their lips moving together fervently. He closes his eyes and tilts his head slightly, parting his lips for Carlos a second before feeling a tongue swipe across his lower lip, causing him to shudder and moan into the kiss. The fingers that are pressed against Carlos' back curl around the fabric of his t-shirt and Kendall gives it a small tug, pulling the soft cotton up as he pulls away.

He exhales sharply and takes a step back, moving his hands to either side of Carlos' jacket, pushing it back over his shoulder slowly, watching as his boyfriend takes it off. The fabric gets thrown away into the corner and Kendall licks his lips, moving his hands back around to grab the bottom of Carlos' shirt, tugging the soft cotton up his torso slowly, locking eyes with his boyfriend, a small smile on his lips. The shirt goes all the way up and Carlos lifts his arms, letting Kendall take it the rest of the way off before it, too, gets tossed onto the floor.

Once Carlos is naked from the waist up, Kendall moves a hand up his side and stops just underneath his ribs, thumbing across his smooth skin slowly, watching Carlos' eyes flutter shut. Breathing in deeply through his nose, Kendall moves a hand down and starts to undo Carlos' jeans, popping the button quickly before tugging the zipper down. He presses a soft kiss to the corner of Carlos' mouth before sinking onto his knees, hooking his fingers in the belt loops of his boyfriend's jeans before pulling the denim down slowly.

"Kendall," Carlos breathes, moving a hand down to drag through Kendall's hair, grabbing a handful and tugging gently.

Kendall looks up at Carlos with a slight grin, pushing his jeans down around his ankles. "Yeah?"

"You don't - don't have to."

"Don't have to what?" Kendall asks, quirking a brow as he moves his hands up, grabbing the waistband of Carlos' boxers.

Huffing, Carlos closes his eyes and swallows thickly, running his fingers through Kendall's hair. "Don't have to give me a blowjob or anything," he mutters, blinking his eyes open to look down at Kendall, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

"But I  _want_  to do it," Kendall answers as he pulls Carlos' boxers down, leaning up on his knees to press a kiss to his hip. "If you really don't want me to, I won't," he whispers, lips brushing against Carlos' skin.

"I - I do," Carlos stutters, swallowing thickly as he cups the back of Kendall's head.

Smiling, Kendall drags his lips down Carlos' stomach, the tip of his nose brushing against his boyfriend's skin slowly and he takes a deep breath, moaning low in the back of his throat at the way Carlos smells. The scent is earthy and musky, one hundred percent  _Carlos_  with hints of the Axe body spray Carlos likes to use mingled with the underlying notes of soap. He takes another breath, pulling the smell into his lungs before moving down to brush his lips against the base of Carlos' cock, closing his eyes at the noise that rumbles deep in his boyfriend's chest.

Carlos says Kendall's name like it's a prayer, the word spilling from his lips in a quiet moan while the fingers on the back of Kendall's head tightening around his hair, pulling him forward. A moan settles deep in his chest when he feels lips brush against the side of his cock, slick skin moving along his length before getting to the head and Carlos forces himself to open his eyes, to look down. He groans quietly at the sight in front of him: Kendall on his knees with his lips wrapped around the head of Carlos' cock, pale pink contrasting against tan.

There's a moment where Carlos wants to stop Kendall, to pull him to his feet and kiss him until their lips are swollen and red, but he can't bring himself to do that. He keeps his hand plastered to the back of Kendall's head, fingers tangled in his hair, the other hand moving to his shoulder, fingers wrapping around it. His eyes flutter shut and he takes a deep breath, feeling the tip of Kendall's tongue tease the head of his cock, moving along the slit before disappearing a second later.

A whine leaves Carlos' throat and he tightens his hold on Kendall, trying to decide if he's wanting to pull him closer or push him away, going with the first. He starts to tug Kendall forward gently, quietly coaxing him toward his cock again, moaning in relief when he feels the flat of his boyfriend's tongue press against the head of his cock. It's a short-lived relief because, a second later, Kendall is pulling away and wrapping his hand around the base, stroking up slowly as he looks up, grinning proudly when Carlos opens his eyes to glare down at him.

"You're such a fucking - oh  _god_ ," Carlos moans, interrupting himself when Kendall takes half of his cock into his mouth.

Kendall hums around Carlos and looks up at him, grinning around his cock until he takes another inch into his mouth, moaning quietly. He starts to suck slowly, tightening his grip around the base as he pulls off and hollows his cheeks as he does, stroking up Carlos' shaft as he pulls off. Licking his lips, Kendall moves forward again and takes just the head between his lips, sucking on it slowly as he keeps stroking Carlos, twisting his wrist and squeezing a little, pulling moans and loud grunts out of his boyfriend.

There's a slew of filth coming from Carlos' mouth and Kendall hums his approval before taking as much of Carlos' cock as he can, swallowing around him as he moves a hand up, cupping his balls. He rolls them between his fingers and brushes the pad of his thumb over them, giving them and the base of Carlos' cock a light squeeze, grinning at the curse words that fly out of his boyfriend's mouth.

Carlos' fingertips dig into Kendall's scalp as he moans out, "Wanna  _fuck_  your mouth so bad right now, you have no idea."

A shudder passes through Kendall and he moans, sucking Carlos' cock harder, rolling his balls between his fingers again before cupping them in his palm, giving them a light squeeze. He listens to the way Carlos moans and breathes above him, each noise more ragged and broken than the last, all of them going to Kendall's cock and making him harder.

"Make you  _fucking gag_  on it," Carlos growls, giving Kendall's hair a sharp tug, pulling him forward. "You want that, Kendall? Huh? Do you want me to slam my cock down your throat and make you  _gag_  around it?" When he feels Kendall moan around his cock, the noise barely audible to him, Carlos licks his lips and moves his hands on either side of his boyfriend's head, sliding one down his jaw slowly. "Come on, baby, gotta slide off for me," he whispers, thumbing across Kendall's cheekbone slowly until he starts to pull away, the obscene sight of Carlos' cock sliding out from between his lips making him shudder.

Swallowing thickly, Kendall tips his head back a little and looks up at Carlos with a grin. "Go ahead, fuck my mouth," he challenges, licking his lips as he moves his hands to Carlos' thighs, gripping them tightly.

"Open your mouth, then." Carlos' eyes are on Kendall's slick, swollen lips and he growls, watching as he parts them slowly, opening his mouth as wide as he can. He trembles and slips a hand around, cupping the back of Kendall's head before moving forward, brushing the head of his cock along his boyfriend's lips slowly.

Carlos watches as Kendall's eyes shut and he slips his cock inside his mouth slowly, groaning loudly when he gets his cock in as far as he can, feeling Kendall's throat constrict around him when he gags a little. He pulls out slowly, just enough for Kendall to adjust before he starts working his hips forward, fingers tightening in Kendall's hair as he starts fucking his mouth slowly, moaning his name like prayer each time he hits the back of his throat.

Something crumbles inside of Carlos and he starts pulling his cock out of Kendall's mouth, leaving just the head between his lips before he slams forward, burying himself deep in Kendall's throat. He hears - and feels - the other boy gagging around his cock but Carlos doesn't register it for a moment, just moans as it happens before sliding back out. Opening his eyes, Carlos looks down and notices Kendall's eyes are clenched shut with a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

Chewing on his lip, Carlos pulls out and runs his cock along Kendall's lips slowly, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Me?" Kendall asks in a broken voice, licking his lips as he opens his eyes, looking up at Carlos with a smile. "M'fine, keep going."

"Are you sure?" Carlos keeps biting his lip, moving his hand away from Kendall's head, slipping it to his jaw. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispers, brushing a tear away from his boyfriend's cheek with the pad of his thumb.

Kendall rolls his eyes and swallows thickly, wincing slightly at the pain in his throat. "I'm fine," he repeats, smiling more as he digs his fingertips into Carlos' thighs roughly, licking across his lips before parting them, opening his mouth for Carlos.

Nodding slowly, Carlos moves his hand to the back of Kendall's neck and wraps the other around the base of his cock, slipping it into his boyfriend's open mouth, groaning when he feels his lips seal around him. He swallows and closes his eyes again, fingers wrapped tightly around Kendall's neck as he starts to thrust in and out of his mouth slowly, feeling Kendall gag around him again; Carlos almost pulls away but the feeling of his cock buried deep down Kendall's throat is too good for him to give up.

He starts a rhythm and rocks his hips against Kendall's face slowly, moving his hand up to grab a fistful of hair before slamming Kendall forward, feeling him gag around his cock one more time. Carlos feels like he could come, each time Kendall's throat tightens around his cock pulls him closer to the edge, and he eventually has to stop rocking his hips forward and slide his cock out of Kendall's mouth.

With a sigh, Carlos looks down at Kendall and groans at the sight of his slick lips that are red and even more swollen than before, his green eyes opening and looking up at him, darkened with lust and the pupils blown. He licks his lips quickly, dragging the tip of his tongue along his upper lip as he moves his hand down the side of Kendall's face, touching him lovingly, apologizing with his fingertips. Carlos breathes in deeply when Kendall turns and kisses his fingertips, lips pressed against his skin for a fleeting second before they're gone.

"C'mere," he mutters, nudging Kendall's arm with his hand, licking his lips again out of habit.

Kendall smiles and stands up, wrapping his arms around Carlos' middle, kissing him softly. "How was that?" he rasps, voice broken and low, raw and rough as he moves his lips across his boyfriend's cheek, ghosting his skin against Carlos'.

"Fucking hot," Carlos answers, a little too quickly, and blushes once the words are out, tipping his head back a little to expose his throat to Kendall, moaning when he feels teeth and lips and Kendall's tongue against his skin. "Want you to fuck me now," he says, breathless as he closes his eyes, Kendall's teeth sinking into the side of his neck.

"Say it again."

Carlos growls in frustration and tangles his fingers in Kendall's hair for the countless time. "I want you to fuck me," he says, speaking slow as he drags his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, giving them a small tug. "Want you to put me on my knees and slam your cock into me."

"Mm," Kendall moans against Carlos' throat, pressing a kiss to his Adam's apple before pulling away. "Do you know how hard I get when I hear you talking like that?"

"How hard?" Carlos' voice is low and seductive, causing Kendall to growl softly when he hears it; he grabs one of Carlos' hands and slips it down to the front of his jeans, pressing it against his cock.

Slipping his hand up Carlos' arm, Kendall leans in and whispers into his ear, " _That hard_."

"Fuck," Carlos gasps, palming Kendall through his jeans quickly, before moving to undo the button and zipper. He gets them undone quickly and pushes the flaps apart, slipping a hand inside before pressing the heel against Kendall's cock, listening to him moan and feeling hot breath fall against the shell of his ear.

"On the bed." The command is soft but it still sends shivers down Carlos' spine when he hears it. "Now," Kendall adds, moving away from Carlos with a smirk, watching him sit on the edge of the bed, bending forward the pull his shoes off, along wit his jeans and boxers.

It all gets thrown to the side before Carlos moves onto the bed, sitting in the middle before scrambling to get onto his hands and knees, looking over at Kendall with his lip caught between his teeth. He watches as Kendall pushes his jeans and boxers off, kicking them to the side before moving to the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube and a condom from the drawer.

Once he's got the lube and the condom, Kendall moves onto the bed behind Carlos and presses himself against his boyfriend's body, leaning down over his back, chest pressed tightly against against it as he kisses the side of Carlos' neck. He nips at the base and pops the bottle of the lube quickly, blindly smearing some on his fingers before moving his hand between their bodies, pressing two fingers against Carlos' entrance.

His fingers circle around Carlos' rim twice - once counterclockwise and then clockwise - before pushing into him slowly, slipping in until they're in up to the last knuckle. Carlos moans loudly when Kendall crooks his fingers, brushing the pads of his fingertips against Carlos' prostate, causing him to cry out and drop his head toward the mattress, sheets twisted in his fists. He gasps, pushing back against Kendall's hand when he starts pulling his fingers out and thrusting them back in quickly, twisting them inside of Carlos in a way that makes him groan Kendall's name loudly, chest dipping down against the bed.

"Kendall, oh  _Christ_ ," Carlos moans, pushing his ass back against Kendall's hand, feeling the digits inside him start to separate before pulling out all the way. He whines at the loss, the noise fading into a loud groan when Kendall slams his fingers back into Carlos, working them in and out quickly, twisting them when he shoves the digits back in.

Smirking, Kendall moves down to trail kisses down Carlos' spine. "Hmm?"

"Gonna - gonna go fucking crazy if you don't..." Carlos trails off, tenting his arms over his head, tugging his hair with one hand. "Just - just fuck me, okay? Please, want it, Kendall; need your cock in me," he finishes, whimpering in between a few words.

"What if that's what I want - you going crazy, needing my cock like a whore, hmm?" Kendall's lips brush across Carlos' skin as he speaks, twisting his fingers inside of him a little more before scissoring them, pulling the digits out slowly.

Carlos whines and moves his arms away from his head, stretching them out toward the headboard. "Please, Kendall," he begs, wheezing the words out as he grabs a handful of Kendall's pillow, fingernails digging into the fabric of the case.

"Okay, since you're asking so  _nicely_." When Kendall says the final word, he pushes his fingers into Carlos one last time and grins against his skin when he moans loudly, dragging the digits out of him slowly. He straightens up and opens the condom, rolling the latex down over his cock before pouring lube onto it, stroking it as he tosses the bottle over the edge of the bed, listening to it thump against the floor.

Biting down on his lower lip, Kendall nudges the head of his cock against Carlos' ass, tracing it around the rim before pushing inside of him slowly, groaning around his bitten lip. He grabs onto Carlos' hip and squeezes it tightly, sliding his cock in all the way until he's balls deep in Carlos, rotating his hips slowly, grinding against his boyfriend's ass, moaning his name.

Carlos pushes himself up onto his hands and moves his ass with Kendall's hips, moaning out, "Fuck..  _fuck_ , love having your cock in me."

"Yeah - love being in you," Kendall grits out, leaning down to press his forehead between Carlos' shoulders, thrusting in and out of him slowly. He breathes heavily as he pushes back in, feeling Carlos' muscles relax and tighten around him, grabbing both of his hips tightly, digging his thumbnails into his boyfriend's skin. "Fuck, such a perfect -  _ngh_  - ass.."

A moan rumbles deep in Carlos' chest and he lets it go, tacking Kendall's name onto it as he pushes back against him, screwing his eyes shut tightly. He drops his head toward the mattress and pants, feeling the hands on is hips squeeze tightly and he knows that there'll be bruises there in the morning but Carlos doesn't care at the moment. With another moan, he slams his ass back against Kendall and rotates his hips slowly, trying to get his boyfriend to fuck him harder, but none of the encouragements work.

Kendall ignores all the moves and keeps thrusting in and out slowly, moving his mouth up to bite and kiss Carlos' shoulders, teeth sinking into his slick skin roughly. The skin barely breaks and a few drops of blood surface, crimson contrasting against the beautiful tan colour of Carlos' skin and Kendall moves down, biting another spot just an inch underneath the other mark. He bites and sucks and licks, marking and biting Carlos until his entire is shoulder is red and he's begging Kendall to fuck him harder.

He obliges, moving his hips roughly against Carlos' as he moves over to the other shoulder, slipping a hand up his boyfriend's side before moving it forward, brushing fingertips across one of his nipples. Kendall knows that the piercings aren't healed all the way but that doesn't stop him from playing with them, tugging the rings softly just to get Carlos to moan his name, nearly screaming it when Kendall thrusts in quickly and pulls his nipple at the same time.

"Fuck," Kendall pants, pressing open mouthed kisses all along Carlos' shoulder, dragging his lips down his spine, hunching over his body as he starts fucking Carlos harder. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, mixing and mingling with the harsh pants coming from both of them and Carlos' near screams, followed by the string of curse words he lets out whenever Kendall bottoms out. Kendall's mouth moves along every inch of skin he can, teeth grazing over sweat-slick flesh before biting down, causing Carlos to whimper. "Love you so fucking much," he whispers, etching the words against Carlos' skin with his lips.

"Love you too, Kendall.  _Oh god_ , I love you so much," Carlos replies, gasping and moaning in between words, feeling Kendall's lips against his skin, teeth dragging down the curve of his spine and back up quickly. He feels hot breath against the back of his neck and shudders, pushing back against Kendall as he twists the sheets in his fingers again, letting his head fall back against his boyfriend's. "I wanna come," he groans, licking across his lips quickly, feeling Kendall's hand on his nipple, twisting and tweaking it quickly.

When Carlos says he wants to come, Kendall's body trembles and he pulls away, straightening up behind his boyfriend, the hand on his chest sliding down until his fingers brush across the head of Carlos' cock. The moment they touch, Carlos feels a jolt of pleasure down his spine and he says Kendall's name like a mantra, repeating it over and over, each one more breathless than the first. His body feels hot, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out across his skin and Carlos wants to come; wants Kendall to push him over that edge.

Kendall's fingers ghost down the length of his cock and Carlos whimpers, body trembling underneath Kendall's touch until long fingers are wrapping around the base of his cock. He lets out a sigh, relieved that Kendall is finally touching him, and starts moving his hips slightly - first forward and then backwards, moaning in frustration when Kendall stops moving.

"Kendall, please!" Carlos begs, desperate to come and more than desperate for Kendall to fuck him. He's about to open his mouth and beg - beg for Kendall to stroke him, to fuck him, to make him come all over the sheets underneath them - when Kendall starts to rock his hips, the hand on Carlos' cock moving up and down slowly. It's not exactly what Carlos wanted, but he's not going to complain now.

A ragged moan leaves his chest and Carlos keeps pushing back against Kendall, his legs and arms trembling as he moves, threatening to collapse on him at any moment. He keeps himself up and feels Kendall start to move into him harder, his cock sliding out of Carlos before thrusting back in, Kendall's hips slapping against Carlos' ass roughly. The hand on his hip moves up and Carlos gasps when he feels Kendall's fingers on his nipples again, fingertips brushing across the sensitive skin before pulling the ring quickly.

"Come for me." Kendall's voice is low and rough, causing Carlos to shudder as he thrusts his hips forward, fucking into Kendall's hand the best he can. He gasps and makes noises that would put the best porn stars to shame, feeling Kendall's hand going up and down his cock quickly, thumb going across the head and underneath the crown slowly. It's enough to push Carlos toward the edge and everything goes white-hot a moment before he comes, grunting Kendall's name as he drops his chest toward the bed.

Carlos comes and his entire body shudders, his muscles clenching around Kendall sporadically before they tighten completely, making it hard for Kendall to thrust in and out. He rocks slowly, his hand moving up and down Carlos' cock until he's done coming and then he drops it, wiping his fingers on the sheets. The room is hot and Kendall's head is spinning more and more as he gets closer to coming, drawing his cock out of Carlos slowly before pushing it back in, groaning loudly.

With a few more thrusts, Kendall feels his orgasm build up and he finally pulls out of Carlos, taking the condom off quickly. He tosses it onto the bed beside them and pushes Carlos down onto the mattress a little more, moving over him to stroke his cock, pointing it at the small of his boyfriend's back. Closing his eyes tightly, Kendall lets his head fall back and he grunts Carlos' name loudly, gasping as he comes all over his hand and Carlos' back, stroking himself through his orgasm.

When he's done, Kendall sits back on his heels and looks at the thick ropes of come that cover Carlos' back, biting his lip to keep a giggle or any other kind of noise inside. He sighs heavily and runs a hand along the outside of Carlos' thigh, brushing his thumb against the space just above his knee, laughing when Carlos grumbles something about Kendall coming on him.

"Sorry," he mutters, moving to throw the condom onto the floor before laying next to Carlos, kissing his bicep lightly. "You can take a shower, if you want."

"Mm," Carlos hums, moving to lay on his side next to Kendall, feeling the come slide across his skin. "I may take you up on that offer."

Kendall grins and leans in, kissing Carlos' lips, then the tip of his nose. "I love you," he whispers, moving a hand to touch the side of his boyfriend's face, thumb brushing across his bottom lip, tracing it carefully.

"I love you too." Smiling, Carlos kisses Kendall's thumb and then sits up, moving across his boyfriend's body before stumbling off the bed. He catches himself and mumbles a quiet, 'I'm fine,' before moving to the bathroom, leaving Kendall alone on the bed as he goes to take a shower, turning the water on quickly.

Sighing, Kendall folds his arms behind his head and stares at the ceiling, listening to the water hit the tub. He thinks about going to take a shower with Carlos but decides against it, closing his eyes slowly as he draws in a deep breath, crossing his legs as he yawns quietly to himself, wondering if he should go to sleep or make dinner for the two of them.

When Carlos comes back into the room ten minutes later, Kendall is still laying on the bed with his arms folded behind his head and eyes closed, breathing slowly. He's nearly asleep until Carlos sits on his lap and leans down, biting his chest roughly; Kendall wakes up when he feels the bite and stares at Carlos, smiling at him after a moment.

"Food?" Kendall asks, voice sleepy, as he moves a hand out from under his head, rubbing his eye slowly.

Carlos smiles and shrugs a shoulder, leaning in to kiss Kendall softly. "I could go for some food, yeah."

"Gotta get off me, first."

"Bossy," Carlos teases, but he gets off Kendall's lap and drops the towel from around his waist, bending down to grab his jeans and boxers off the floor. When Carlos bends down to grab his clothes, Kendall smacks his ass and moves off the bed, going to gather up his own clothing before pulling it on and grabbing a shirt from the dresser.

Once they're both dressed, Kendall takes Carlos down to the kitchen and washes his hands in the sink before going to the fridge to see what he could make for dinner. He stands in front of the fridge for a few minutes, rolling his lip between his teeth as he stares at the stuff on the shelves before deciding on spaghetti. With his mind made up, Kendall grabs a small pack of meat from the fridge and takes it to the stove, grabbing a pan before turning the burner on; he sets the pan on the eye and opens the pack, putting the hamburger into the skillet before tossing the trash away.

Carlos joins Kendall at the stove and the two of them make dinner together, laughing and enjoying each other's company through the preparation and the consuming. When they're done eating, Kendall takes Carlos back upstairs and they lay wrapped up in each other's arms in the complete darkness, listening to the silence of the house. They lay like that for a while and Kendall rests his head against Carlos', running a hand up and down his arm slowly, brushing his palm over his boyfriend's elbow.

It's some time after ten at night when they fall asleep and Kendall holds onto Carlos throughout the night, keeping their bodies close like it could be the last time he'll ever get to do it. He doesn't dream that night - just falls asleep with an empty mind and a smile on his face, holding everything in the world that he could ever want and need.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: sadness, probably.]

Later in the week, Kendall wakes up after noon to find the bed empty and a note on the nightstand from Carlos, explaining that he had to go to work early and that he's sorry for not waking Kendall up before he left. He smiles at the note and touches the messy writing, tracing each letter with a fingertip before putting the piece of paper away in the drawer, wanting to keep it for nostalgic reasons. Kendall's not sure, but he thinks that being with Carlos has made him a sappy romantic and, if it has, he's completely okay with that.

Smiling more, Kendall sits up in the bed and yawns loudly, stretching with his arms over his head, joints popping and muscles protesting to the movement. When he's done, he drops his arms and reaches over to grab his phone, yawning one more time as he unlocks it and blinks sleepily at the screen, which informs him that he has one missed call and a new message. Kendall raises an eyebrow at that and taps the screen anyway, bringing the phone up to his ear to listen to the message, yawning quietly with his free hand covering his mouth.

The message is from Brooke and she's "just calling to see if Kendall wants to come over that afternoon to go through pictures of James" and just hearing that name makes Kendall's insides twist. He listens to the rest of the message - Brooke telling him that he can come over whenever; she's off that day, so she'll be home - and then he deletes it, setting his phone on his thigh as he stares at the end of the bed, chewing on his lower lip.

He thinks about ignoring the message but then remembers the way Brooke looked at James' funeral; the broken expression on her face and the tears streaming down her cheeks, real emotion taking over for the first time in god knows how long. Kendall can't recall a time where he's seen James' mother cry and seeing her that day? Well, it made him feel even worse and it had made him feel guiltier, like he had been the one to run into James' car in the middle of the night.

Thinking about James' accident makes Kendall feel sick and he gets out of bed quickly, running toward the bathroom and just barely making it to the toilet before throwing up. He sinks to his knees on the tiles and groans, an acrid taste coating his throat and tongue, making his whole mouth taste awful. When he feels like he isn't going to get sick anymore, Kendall flushes the toilet quickly and pushes himself off the floor before going over to the sink.

After splashing his face with cold water and brushing his teeth twice, Kendall finally goes back out into the bedroom and picks his clothes up off the floor, pulling them on mechanically. James is the only thing on his mind as he gets dressed, pulling a soft cotton t-shirt over his head before snatching his phone up, heart pounding in his chest and his stomach twisting like he could get sick again. He goes out into the hall and takes the stairs slowly, hoping and praying that he doesn't get sick again - especially not at the Diamond house; he's thrown up there too many times to count and he doesn't want to do it again.

The house is quiet when Kendall gets to the lower level and he moves to the door, grabbing a pair of slip-on Vans before pulling them on. He grabs his key ring and goes out onto the porch, locking the door behind him as he takes a deep breath of fresh air, pulling it into his lungs and letting it settle his stomach - and nerves - before exhaling slowly. On his way to the car, Kendall reminds himself that he didn't cause James' accident - that it was simply that: an accident, and nothing more. When he gets behind the wheel, Kendall feels better and he takes a deep breath as he pulls out of his driveway and onto the road, heading toward James' house for the last time.

It's almost surreal, driving to the Diamond house and not going there to see James, and Kendall pinches himself a few times to make sure that he isn't dreaming. When he gets to the house, Kendall parks in the driveway behind Brooke's car and he stares at the house for a moment before getting out, heart feeling even heavier in his chest than it did before. His palms are sweating and he rubs them against his jeans furiously before stepping onto the porch and ringing the doorbell, swallowing thickly as he waits for Brooke to answer.

He doesn't have to wait long and Brooke answers the door half a minute later, giving Kendall her best forced smile before opening the door wider to let him in. Kendall steps inside the house cautiously and takes his shoes off at the door, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he turns to look at Brooke, giving her the same forced smile she gave him.

"It's nice to see you again," she says, holding her arms out for a hug and Kendall obliges, letting himself be squeezed. "How have you been doing? Well, I hope; I've been kind of worried about you since the day of the funer -" Brooke stops herself as she pulls away, pursing her lips tightly and giving Kendall a look that tells him she's trying her hardest not to cry.

Kendall swallows and pulls her in for another hug. "I've been alright, to tell you the truth," he mutters, closing his eyes tightly when he feels his own tears coming on. "How have  _you_ been?"

Brooke doesn't answer immediately and she just holds onto Kendall like he's her lifeline and he doesn't mind it; having someone hug him that's not his mother, Carlos, Logan, or Camille is a breath of fresh air. He keeps hugging her until she sniffles loudly and pulls away, a few tears tracking down her cheeks; she lifts a hand and wipes them away, chuckling pathetically as she motions toward the living room.

"I've been better," she finally answers, following Kendall into the living room before taking a seat on the couch.

"I'm sorry," Kendall says, the words spilling from his lips before he can catch them. "I know this is hard.."

Nodding, Brooke purses her lips again and then smiles sadly. "Thank you," she says, sniffling before continuing, "and it has been hard, but I've got things to keep me busy and distracted. Like work, that keeps my mind off of things until someone mentions James and then it... well, it all goes to hell after that."

Kendall moves to sit next to her, nodding his head slowly; he knows the way that feels and he wants to tell her that, wants to say that he understands, but then he remembers: he doesn't. He doesn't know how it feels to lose a child and he hopefully never will, but he still understands the pain and the heartache. To convey this, he puts his hand on Brooke's and gives it a little squeeze, offering her a small smile which, to Kendall's surprise, she returns with a genuine one of her own.

"I'm sorry, too," she says, her voice cracking in a few places. "I know how close you and James were."

"Yeah," Kendall agrees, swallowing again as he moves a hand to the back of his neck. "We were pretty close and I dunno, it still feels like a dream, you know? Like I could wake up at any time and he'd still be here, texting me to come over or telling me to come to one of his games to 'check him out.' He never wanted to tell people we were together, but he liked having me around, I think.."

Brooke laughs quietly and looks at Kendall with tears in her eyes. "He told me about you," she admits, nodding when Kendall gives her a 'you've got to be shitting me' look, his jaw dropping a little. "Granted, he didn't tell me that you two were an  _item_ , but he did tell me things about you. It was always little things like, ' _Kendall wrote a new song,_ ' or ' _Kendall helped me with my English homework._ '"

Hearing that makes Kendall's heart jump and he closes his mouth, rubbing his lips together slowly as he stares at Brooke, shaking his head a little. He can't believe that James actually told his mother stuff like that and actually having it confirmed makes Kendall believe that James really did love him. Closing his eyes, Kendall swallows again and smiles a little, blinking his eyes open again, settling his gaze on Brooke.

"I really did love him," he whispers, blinking back tears.

"I know," she replies, giving him a solemn nod as she squeezes his hand. "I could tell from everything you said at the funeral and the way you cried over him. He was lucky to have you, Kendall, even if he didn't know it."

Kendall chuckles and nods slowly. "Yeah," he huffs, lifting a hand to run across his face. "I was lucky to have him too."

Smiling, Brooke pats Kendall's hand and moves it to grab a box from the coffee table, pulling it onto her lap. She doesn't say anything as she lifts the top and sets it aside, her hands disappearing into a sea of photographs, mumbling quietly under her breath as she searches for one. And Kendall just watches her, his heart beating loudly in his ears and his hands shaking a little, fingers trembling on the couch cushion.

"Here's a picture of James from his pee-wee hockey league," Brooke explains, holding a picture out to Kendall, who takes it carefully, smiling at the little boy in the photograph. "He was about eight in that picture and he was proud of himself because he'd finally learned how to play and he was better than all the other boys."

"That's James for you." Kendall laughs and looks at the photo, lifting his other hand to touch the smile on eight-year-old James' face. "He was such a cute kid," he mutters, looking up when Brooke laughs, watching her nod her head.

"He was the cutest, especially when he was in his hockey uniform. It was a little big on him but that didn't stop him from tearing up the ice."

That makes Kendall smile and he laughs again, hanging the photo back. "I always admired his love of hockey."

Brooke takes the photo and nods slowly, setting it back into the box before pulling out another one; she looks at it and laughs quietly, the noise more along the lines of a giggle, before handing it to Kendall.

"That," she says, pointing at the photo," is when he was four years old and thought he was Superman. He somehow got the notion in his mind that, if he had a cape, he could be a superhero. So he took one of my red drapes, tied it around his neck, and went 'flying' around the house, saying that he was Superman."

Kendall laughs at the image in his mind and shakes his head slowly. "Adorable," he says handing the photo back.

"He was, until his father and I divorced and then something snapped inside of him.." Brooke sighs and sets the picture back into the box, rummaging around until she finds newer ones. "These are from a year or so ago," she explains, handing a stack of photographs to Kendall, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Wow," Kendall mutters, flipping through the pictures slowly, taking his time to look at each one of them. The first one on the pile is of James standing next to his car with a big smile on his face and seeing that smile makes Kendall's chest tighten. He flips to the second one and grins when he sees James in his hockey uniform, all grown up and standing on the ice with a huge smile on his face.

Looking at pictures of James hurts Kendall but it also makes him feel better connected to the boy he loved. There were a lot of things that he didn't know about James and now he was learning them, albeit late. It doesn't matter to Kendall because he knows that, no matter what, he will always have a spot for James in his heart and he'll never stop loving him. He would always feel a connection to James because he was the first person Kendall ever loved and he was the boy he'd lost his virginity to. It was special and Kendall intended on keeping James' memory alive for years to come.

There was a picture of James at the beach shirtless and tanned, his hair falling into his eyes and Kendall remembers around the time that was taken. He remembers being in James' room the night before his family was scheduled to leave for the beach, both of them moving around on his bed quietly; that had been one of the only times James let him stay longer and Kendall smiles at the thought of it.

"He was always smiling," he points out, flipping to another picture of James with an older woman, his arm thrown around her shoulders and a big, genuine smile on his face. "Who's that?" Kendall asks, turning the photo around to Brooke, pointing at the little old lady.

Brooke smiles and then purses her lips before answering, "That's my mother, before she died."

"Oh," Kendall mutters, biting his lower lip. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright; James took it harder than everyone else because he was so close to her."

Kendall tries to remember a time where James mentioned his grandma and comes up short. "He looks really happy here."

"He always was when we went to her house or whenever she came here. When she started getting sick and couldn't remember any of us, he never let that get to him; he'd always read to her, tell her things about himself over and over even though she couldn't retain the information for very long," Brooke pauses and clears her throat. "He was actually a very sweet boy."

"I know, even if he was an asshole to me most of the time."

"That's just him having his walls up," Brooke explains, patting Kendall's hand again.

Nodding, Kendall looks at another photo and recognizes it as a school photo. "Can I have this one?"

"Sure, you can have any of the pictures you want. This box," she taps the side of the cardboard on her lap, "is full of duplicate pictures. I have five or six other boxes just like it, but the originals are stored away in the closet."

"Thank you," Kendall says, laying the photo down next to him. "And thank you for letting me have pictures of him. I know it must be hard to go through them and... I appreciate it."

A smile takes over Brooke's lips and she turns back to the box. "You're welcome. I know he'd probably want you to have these anyway, because what good are they doing me when they're doubles and they're just sitting in the attic?"

Kendall laughs at that and nods, flipping through the rest of the pictures; of the stack in his hand, he only takes half of them and hands the rest back to Brooke, who lays them next to her. She starts rummaging through the box again, handing more stacks of photos to Kendall, and they look through them together, laughing at some of them.

When they're done with the first box, Brooke gets up to get a second one and Kendall looks through the thirty or so photos he'd kept, smiling at most of them. He sets them on the coffee table when Brooke comes back and takes the box from her hand when she holds it out to him, lifting the lid off of it. The first photo he sees is a recent one of James and his dad, their arms thrown around one another and a beer in each of their hands.

He carefully lifts the picture out and stares at it for a moment before laying it on the pile of photos on the coffee table, turning his attention back to the box. The two of them go through the rest of the boxes together and, when they're all done, Kendall has a stack of about a hundred photos on the coffee table. While Brooke goes to get him a bag for them, Kendall goes through them one more time and finds the most recent school picture, smiling at it before taking his wallet out and slipping it inside the photo compartment.

"Thank you for coming over," Brooke says when she comes back, holding a bag out to Kendall. "It was nice to reminisce and not have to worry about someone pretending to be sympathetic."

Kendall puts the pictures in the bag and shakes his head. "It was no problem," he says, smiling up at her.

"So," she says, sitting back down with a sigh, "where are you off to college? James told me you were going to a music school but never told me where or which one."

"I'm going to Berklee College of Music," Kendall answers, blushing when he realizes how much James talked about him. "That's in Boston, and I leave in less than two weeks."

Brooke raises her eyebrows and huffs out a 'wow.' "That's great, Kendall. I know you'll do amazing," she says, smiling.

"Thanks. I hope I'll do alright because music makes me happy, you know? I want to make making music my career and hopefully one day I'll be a singer of a band, or just be a solo act."

"Well, I wish you all the luck in the world."

That makes Kendall blush more and he chuckles. "Thank you, really. You've been awesome, Brooke," he says, dropping his gaze to the floor as he lifts a hand to scratch the back of his neck nervously. "I know James loved you and I know you two had your differences but... he was lucky to have a mom like you."

"Thank you, but I don't feel the same," she replies, shaking her head. "I was a horrible mother after James' dad and I split and I took it all out on him... which is probably why he did the same to you."

"Nah, he did it to me because he loved me and didn't know how to show it," Kendall says, only half joking.

Brooke laughs at that and touches Kendall's face lightly. "Now I understand why he loved you," she murmurs.

"Because I'm a goof?" Kendall offers, raising a brow.

"No," Brooke answers, chuckling as she drops her hand. "Because you don't see the bad in people, you only see the good, and you're always sweet. You didn't have to come over here and sit with me for hours, looking through photos of James... but you did. And that shows me how much you cared about him."

Kendall's neck and face grow hot and he scratches his scalp lightly. "I do see the bad in people," he mutters, shrugging a shoulder as he looks at Brooke again, giving her a small smile. "And I did love him, a hell of a lot."

"Mm, I know."

"And we'll always be family, you and me," he says, nodding. "I think if James would have realized how he felt about me before I got together with my current boyfriend, things would have been different. I probably would have given up on Boston and followed him anywhere he went."

"He wouldn't have wanted that."

"Maybe not, but I would have done it," Kendall says, pausing to lick his lips. "I was crazy about him."

Smiling, Brooke nods her head and folds her hands on her lap. "I can see that," she says, smiling in a way that makes her eyes twinkle and Kendall's never seen  _that_  before. "So, tell me about your new boyfriend, then."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

Kendall huffs and shrugs a shoulder. "Because I left James for him," he answers.

"That's okay," Brooke says, patting his hand again. "I'm sure James doesn't resent you for it."

"I... well - okay," Kendall says, huffing again as he rolls his shoulders back. "His name is Carlos and he's literally everything I want - besides James - in a man. I mean, he's smart, funny, is good with his hands, and he's just... really sweet. He's a total polar opposite than James, but I love James in a different way than I do Carlos."

Brooke nods her head slowly as Kendall talks, a small smile playing on her lips.

"And he's totally okay with me still loving James and missing him and being upset that he's dead," he continues, shaking his head as he gives a short, disbelieving laugh. "I dunno what I did to deserve him or James, but I'm glad I did. The time I had with James was... well, sometimes it was bad but it was mostly good."

"I'm glad." Brooke pats Kendall's hand one last time and sighs as she stands up. "I should put these things away now and I still need to pack up James' things," she mutters.

"Alright," Kendall says as he stands, moving a hand through his hair. "Can I, um, ask for another thing?"

Turning slightly, Brooke raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"There's a hoodie that James wore all the time and I was... I was wondering if I could have it? If you're going to throw it away, anyway, I mean." Kendall chews on his lower lip, expecting Brooke to say no but she nods her head and gives him a small, tired smile.

He smiles back at her and makes his way to the stairs, taking them one at a time as he thinks about the number of times he's walked up and down the staircases before, realizing this will be his last. Swallowing hard, Kendall steps off the top stair and moves to James' bedroom, his footsteps echoing and booming in his ears, causing his hand to tremble as he reaches out to grab the doorknob.

Even though he feels like he's going to puke again, Kendall pushes the door open and steps inside, smelling the familiar scent of James' cologne; he breathes in deeply and exhales, trying not to cry when he smells it. Shutting the door behind him, Kendall moves further into the room and goes to the closet, heart dropping down into his stomach when he opens the doors, looking through the clothes until he spots the hoodie he's looking for.

Kendall grabs the hoodie and stares at the dark blue fabric, running his fingers over it slowly, swallowing as he closes his eyes, letting memories wash over him. He remembers the first time James let him wear the jacket and he smiles fondly, thinking of how cold it was that evening and how James had complained about not wanting Kendall to freeze to death because he 'didn't want to drag a frozen body through the snow.'

Laughing, Kendall opens his eyes and pulls the hoodie closer to him, shutting the closet doors before turning to look around the room one last time. He takes a deep breath and moves to the nightstand, touching the knobs of the drawers before turning away to look at the dresser, something pulling him toward it. Kendall moves toward the chest of drawers and opens the top one, pulling out a soft, black t-shirt; it's a band t-shirt and Kendall smirks at it, letting the fabric slip through his fingers. The whole drawer smells like James and Kendall feels dizzy and lightheaded, like he could pass out or vomit at any time, and he shuts the drawer quickly.

He exits the room after giving it one last look, holding the hoodie and the shirt to his chest before shutting the door and moving down the stairs quickly. Kendall almost falls a half dozen times but manages to make it to the bottom without tumbling down the staircase or tripping. Brooke is nowhere to be found when he goes into the living room and he swallows hard, grabbing a notepad off the table before jotting down a note: 'Thanks for letting me have the pictures and the hoodie. I'll keep in touch, I promise, and I hope you'll be okay. - Kendall.'

Once he's done writing the note, Kendall lays it down and grabs the bag of pictures, moving to the door quickly; he stops to pull his shoes on and looks back at the staircase one last time before going outside. He stands with his back against the door for a moment and swallows thickly, the smell of James' cologne still fresh in his nostrils and he sighs heavily, pushing off of the door before moving toward his car.

Kendall slides in behind the steering wheel and lays everything on the passenger seat before starting the engine and backing out, giving the house one last look before speeding away. The further he gets away from Brooke's house, the better he feels and by the time Kendall gets home, he's feeling much better than before. Sure, he's still upset and he feels like he wants to rip his heart out of his chest, but at least he doesn't feel nauseous like he did before.

No one's in the house when Kendall gets there and he goes upstairs quietly, going into his room and shutting the door behind him before going to sit on the bed, holding the hoodie and shirt on his lap. He runs his fingers over the fabric slowly, remember the last times he saw James in both articles of clothing, and he blinks away tears, sniffling loudly. Part of him wishes he hadn't taken the damn things but he knows that he would have regretted it forever, had he not asked for the hoodie.

After a while, Kendall grabs a cardboard box and assembles it, putting the shirt and hoodie into it before sealing it up. He doesn't want to put anything else in it that will take away the smell and when he's done, he falls onto the bed, sighing heavily as he stares up at the ceiling. Thoughts of James being with his family or at the beach or even when he was four years old and swore he was Superman fill Kendall's mind and he smiles at the memories James never shared with him. He wonders if James is with his grandmother now and that thought makes his heart ache a little, but he's still happy.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: tiny bit of masturbation, nipple play, biting, hair pulling, blowjobs in the tub!, use of teeth during said blowjob, some fluff I guess?, more biting and nipple play, dirty talk, scratching, handjobs, and a tiny amount of blood - but nothing weird, I promise!]

Kendall wakes up late on Saturday morning and he stares at his phone, blinking sleepily at the screen as he wonders where the hell the week went, frowning slightly. He drops his phone onto the bed, turns over onto his back, and moves a hand to his face, scrubbing away the last remaining bits of sleep, yawning loudly. Slipping his hand down his jaw, Kendall scratches the side of his neck and turns his head, staring at his phone as he lifts a hand, running his fingertips down the screen, contemplating calling Carlos to see if he wants to come over.

A smile takes over his face and Kendall grabs his phone, unlocking it before bringing his contacts up and selecting Carlos' name, tapping it quickly. When the other line starts ringing, Kendall puts the call on speaker and lays the phone on his chest, lifting his hips slightly as he drags a hand down the middle of his stomach, fingers stopping just above the waistband of his boxers. He plays with the elastic, snapping it against his hips a few times, nodding his head as he listens to the phone ring, before Carlos answers it.

"Yo," he says, and Kendall can't help but smirk at the sound of his boyfriend's voice.

"Is that how you greet your boyfriend?" Kendall asks, his tone playful.

Carlos laughs and the noise makes Kendall's heart flutter. "Not usually, no," he answers, laughing again. "Hey, baby."

"Mm," Kendall hums, smiling. "Hey."

"What's up?"

Lowering his hips onto the mattress, Kendall shrugs. "Just got up and the first thing on my mind was you," he answers, Carlos' laughter crackling on the other line and he smiles more, licking across his lips quickly. "What's up with you?"

"Just changed the oil in my dad's cruiser."

"So... you're all oily and dirty?"

Another laugh comes from Carlos' end of the call and Kendall closes his eyes, listening carefully. "Yeah, very dirty."

"Should come over here and get dirtier with me," Kendall suggests, halfheartedly.

"I guess I could," Carlos agrees, and Kendall's eyes snap open; he hadn't expected Carlos to agree to  _that_.

Sitting up, Kendall turns the speaker off and grabs the phone, putting it against his ear. "I'll get a bath ready and we'll get you clean while we get dirty, how's that sound?"

"That sounds," Carlos starts, and Kendall can hear people talking in the background before his boyfriend continues, "fantastic. I need to get out of the house anyway; my aunt is over with her kids and... well, they're a lot younger than me and they're hyperactive."

"So you're using me as a way to avoid your family?"

"And to get laid, yes."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head. "I knew it."

"I'll see you in a bit, then?" Carlos asks, the noise in the background getting fainter.

"Just come in when you get here," Kendall says, moving to stand next to the bed. "I'm going to see if my parents are here and, if they're not, I'll send you a text to tell you what bathroom I'll be in."

"Can't wait. See you, baby."

Biting his lip, Kendall moves toward the door. "See you," he says, smiling when Carlos laughs.

They hang up and Kendall slips into the hall, heading toward the stairs quickly, taking them two at a time before jumping off the bottom stair, moving toward the kitchen. He doesn't find anyone in there and he opens the back door, looking out across the yard before coming back in, pursing his lips as he moves through the kitchen again, stopping for a second to grab a beer from the fridge. On his way into the living room, Kendall twists the cap off his bottle and tosses it onto the table beside the couch, nodding slowly when he realizes that he's all alone.

Kendall texts Carlos and tells him that he'll be in the master bathroom before heading back upstairs, draining half his beer as he makes his way toward his parents' room. He opens the door slowly, like he's expecting to find his parents inside naked, and breathes a sigh of relief when he finds the room empty.

Walking into the room, Kendall drains the rest of his beer and sets the empty bottle on the nightstand as he heads to the bathroom, laying his phone down next to it before disappearing through the door. He flicks the light on and moves to the tub, leaning over it to twist the knobs, pushing the plunger down to stop the drain, letting hot water fill the tub halfway before he turns the cold water on. As he waits for the tub to fill, Kendall moves around the bathroom and hums quietly to himself, tapping his fingers on every flat surface he can find, listening to the water.

He makes his way back to the bathtub and sits on the edge, running his fingers along the surface of the water, watching ripples break out across it, making him smile. Soon there's enough water and Kendall turns the knobs off before standing; he takes his boxers off quickly and kicks them toward the door a second before stepping into the tub. Sinking down into the warm water, Kendall sighs and lets his head fall back once he's settled against the bottom of the tub, arms stretched out across the back of it.

Breathing deeply through his nose, Kendall sinks down into the tub a little more and listens to the water swish around him, lolling his head from side to side slowly, groaning as he works some of the kinks out of his neck. He turns his head to the right and lifts his left hand, rubbing it against the back of his neck and over his shoulder, biting his lower lip, willing Carlos to get their faster so he could get a massage.

Thinking about Carlos' hands on his body make Kendall licks his lips slowly, the tip of his tongue dragging across the chapped skin as he moves his free hand down, brushing the heel against the head of his cock slowly. He barely wraps his fingers underneath the crown, thumbing across the head as he arches his back, lifting his hips slightly. Kendall swallows hard and starts stroking himself slowly, dragging his free hand down across his neck, bringing it down across his chest, flicking at one of his nipples lightly.

The sound of footsteps approaching makes Kendall sit up and he pulls his hands away from himself, gripping either side of the tub, looking toward the door as he holds his breath, waiting. He listens to the footsteps grow closer, accompanied by the sound of jingling keys and soon the door is opening and Carlos stands in in, wearing a dirty tank top and a pair of ripped jeans, a grin on his face when he sees Kendall in the tub.

"You weren't kidding," he says, coming into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

Kendall shakes his head and bites his lip, grinning a bit. "I never kid about being naked in the tub."

Shaking his head, Carlos bends down and laughs as he unties his boots, yanking them off one at a time before tossing them into the corner. He stands up and crosses his arms over his stomach, wrapping his fingers around the hem of his tank top, pulling it up and off quickly, letting it fall to the floor. A dirty hand moves across his chest and Carlos catches Kendall staring, the grin on his face widening as he splays his hands against his skin. He moves both down the expanse of his stomach and over the waistband of his jeans, playing with the button teasingly.

"Are you gonna get naked soon? Because this water is going to get cold, you know.."

"Someone's impatient," Carlos murmurs as he pops the button on his jeans and moves down to grab the zipper, licking his lips as he pulls it down slowly.

Growling, Kendall narrows his eyes and then sighs. "I'm impatient _and_  hard as hell," he replies, voice low and rough as he stares at Carlos, licking across his lips quickly, listening to his zipper as it's being pulled down. "And I'd kind of like you in here with me so I can fix that problem."

"Yeah?" Once his zipper is down, Carlos hooks his thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans, tugging them down slowly, eyes on Kendall's.

"Yeah," Kendall answers in a breathless voice, licking his lips again. "Please?"

With a smile, Carlos nods and gets out of his jeans quickly, nudging them to the side with his foot before getting out of the rest of his clothes; his boxers and socks fall to a pile on the floor and Carlos takes his glasses off, folding them up before setting them on the sink. Once he's naked, Carlos goes over to the tub and steps in, sitting on the opposite side of Kendall, immediately moving his hands to his boyfriend's legs, rubbing them slowly.

"Are you happy now?"

Kendall hums and closes his eyes, nodding slowly. "Much," he answers, opening his eyes slowly, giving Carlos a lazy grin.

"Good," Carlos laughs, scooting forward so that he's between Kendall's legs, with his own bent and resting against the sides of the tub. "I'm a little dirty, if you couldn't tell," he mumbles, moving his hands to Kendall's hips, gripping them tightly. "Shoulda cleaned up before I came over."

"But I told you not to," Kendall reminds him, grinning a little more as he leans in to kiss Carlos' lips softly, sucking on the lower one before easing away, pressing the tip of his tongue against one of his canines.

Carlos shakes his head and lifts a hand, cupping Kendall's jaw lightly. "And I always listen," he whispers, leaning in to brush his lips against Kendall's, breathing softly against his mouth before kissing him slowly. His eyes slide shut and he cups Kendall's jaw tightly, thumbing underneath his jawbone as he parts his lips, dragging his tongue across his boyfriend's upper lip.

Shifting slightly, Kendall tilts his head and moves his hands to either side of Carlos' neck, thumbing across the underside of his jaw as they kiss, parting his lips slowly. He feels the tip of Carlos' tongue press against his own and he moans, slipping a hand to the back of his neck, gripping it tightly as he pulls Carlos forward, deepening the kiss a little.

The water sloshes around them as Carlos struggles to get comfortable, laying his legs against Kendall's as their tongues move together, eliciting moans and small noises from the other boy's chest. Growling softly, Carlos moves a hand up, tracing the muscles and lines of Kendall's body until he gets to his shoulder; he grips it gently, thumbs across his boyfriend's collarbone, and moves his hand to the back of Kendall's head, fingers tangling in the mess of brown locks.

As they kiss, Kendall moans and slips his hand up, splaying it against the back of Carlos' head, fingers bent slightly to fit the curve of his skull, fingertips brushing against his scalp lightly. Parting his lips as wide as they can go, he lets Carlos' tongue slide further into his mouth and he flicks his own against his boyfriend's gingerly, retracting a second later with a low growl in the back of his throat. It never ceases to amaze Kendall how hard he can get from just kissing Carlos and he whimpers, lifting his hips slightly and causing the water to splash against the sides of the tub, looking for some sort of friction and finding none.

Laughing against Kendall's mouth, Carlos pulls back and slips his hands down slowly, wrapping them around his boyfriend's slender hips, thumbing across the bone slowly, panting. He drags his tongue across his lips, tasting Kendall on his skin, and moans as he blinks his eyes open, looking at Kendall through his lashes, giving him a lazy grin. The green irises looking back at him are dark and the pupils are blown and Carlos thinks that he'll never get over how sexy Kendall is like this.

"Please," Kendall whispers, teeth snagging on his swollen bottom lip.

Carlos cocks his head to the side and moves a hand to Kendall's cock, barely running his fingers over it. "Please what?"

"Fucking  _cock tease_." The words come out harsh and Kendall nearly growls them, sighing heavily.

"Would you have me any other way?" Carlos bats his lashes and drags a fingertip along the head of Kendall's cock.

That makes Kendall pause and he shrugs a shoulder, smirking. "I guess not," he says, moving his hands down Carlos' biceps, tracing the muscle slowly, fingers dragging across tan, smooth skin. "You're a tease, but you're  _mine_."

"Mm," Carlos hums in agreement, letting his eyes slide shut again, focused on the way Kendall's hands feel on his arms.

"So, you wanna let me fuck you in the tub again or was it too difficult the last time?" The way Kendall speaks is soft and gentle, delicate like the touch of his fingers along the back of Carlos' bicep and he shudders at both, blinking his eyes open slowly.

Biting his lower lip, Carlos rolls a shoulder and shrugs, running his wet fingers along the middle of Kendall's stomach. "It was a little hard on my knees and there's not really much I can hold onto in here," he admits, chuckling quietly as he leans in, sucking on the skin just under Kendall's ear, brushing his nose against his boyfriend's earlobe. "We can compromise, though."

"Yeah?" Kendall asks, tilting his head to the side, slipping a hand between Carlos' shoulders. "How do you propose we do that?"

"Get out of the tub," Carlos whispers, lips brushing against Kendall's ear when he moves up, "and sit on the edge, with your back to the wall just in case you fall back because I don't want you to fall onto the floor."

Kendall laughs and closes his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose. "Okay," he says, running his hand through Carlos' hair once, tugging him away from his ear with a grin, licking across his lips slowly. Before moving to get out, Kendall leans forward and just barely presses a kiss to Carlos' lips, biting at the upper one gently before easing away and slipping out of the water, settling on the edge of the tub.

"Now spread your legs a little." As he speaks, Carlos moves onto his knees and slides forward, running his hands up the backs of Kendall's legs before slipping them down, lightly holding onto his ankles as he watches his boyfriend. When Kendall's legs are spread, Carlos moves between them and lifts a hand, wrapping it around the base of his cock as he leans forward, dragging the tip of his tongue along the head slowly. He grins at the noise this pulls from Kendall's chest - a low, ragged groan paired with a loud gasp of air at the end - and he closes his eyes, wrapping his tongue around the head as he strokes the shaft.

The water on their skin helps Carlos' hand slide up and down Kendall's cock and he goes slowly, thumbing just underneath the crown slowly, dragging the tip of his thumb down the middle of the shaft as he strokes down. He takes a deep breath through his nose, moves his free hand to Kendall's and slides it up his arm slowly, fingernails digging into his skin as he takes the head into his mouth, sucking slowly. When he feels Kendall shift backwards, Carlos looks up and makes a squeaking noise around his cock, looking up to make sure his boyfriend is alright; he smiles when he sees Kendall lean his head back against the wall, mouth open, his chest rising and falling steadily.

Carlos lets his eyes fall shut again and takes another inch of Kendall's cock into his mouth, stroking the rest slowly, brushing his thumb along the base and over the top of his balls. Small drips of water slide off his fingers and roll down Kendall's skin when Carlos moves his hand back up, sucking and stroking at the same time, moaning whenever Kendall does.

A hand moves to the back of his head and Carlos splays his free one against Kendall's lower abdomen, fingertips digging into the soft skin gently as he swirls his tongue around his boyfriend's cock. Fingers tangle in his hair and pull him forward, curses rolling off Kendall's tongue and moans leaving his chest the harder Carlos sucks and the more he strokes, gasping when he moves both his hand and mouth at the same time.

"Carlos," Kendall whines, the word coming out breathless and Carlos hums around Kendall's cock, working his tongue around the head. "Fuck, I love your mouth, feels so - _ngh_  - good. Don't... don't fucking stop, _please_."

Giving a slight nod, Carlos chuckles around Kendall's cock and pulls off for a second, flicking his tongue against the slit before taking the head between his lips again, sucking as hard as he can. He keeps stroking and starts to quicken his pace, twisting his wrist when he moves his hand down the length of Kendall's cock, squeezing the base lightly. Fueled by the noises Kendall's making, Carlos sucks and strokes at the same pace, pressing the flat of his tongue against the head of his boyfriend's cock.

A strangled moan leaves Kendall's throat and Carlos sucks harder, listening to his boyfriend moan, "Fucking  _hell_ , m'getting close.." _  
_

Carlos hums low and long, breathing deeply through his nose as he strokes Kendall's cock quickly and moves a hand down, pressing a fingertip against his entrance, just barely applying pressure. He pushes against it just a little and swipes the pad of his finger across the rim, listening to Kendall gasp and whine, a moan bubbling up from behind his lips and escaping when Carlos just barely grazes his teeth over Kendall's cock.

That almost sends Kendall over the edge; the slight pain-pleasure of Carlos' teeth scraping along his cock, ghosting over the head before his lips are wrapped around it and fuck if Kendall isn't addicted to that goddamn mouth. He curls his hand around the base of Carlos' skull, coaxing him forward, trying to push another inch or two of his cock into Carlos' mouth but his boyfriend is holding him back, pressing a finger against his entrance to distract him and it works.

"Fuck, yeah, just like that," Kendall babbles, licking his lips after he speaks, hips pushing back against Carlos' hand. "Wanna come in your mouth, Carlos, please.. Just - just lemme _fucking come_ ," he says, gritting the last few words out through barred teeth when he feels the tip of Carlos' finger slip inside of him. The dull pain makes Kendall's cock throb and he thrusts his hips toward Carlos' mouth, growling as he gets closer to coming, heat coiling up in his gut, balls tightening, and his body feeling like it could burst into flames at any moment.

Kendall lasts through a few more pulls of Carlos' hand and his teeth scraping along his cock one more time before his orgasm hits. He comes with a loud grunt, gripping the back of Carlos' head tightly as he pants, his whole body covered in a thin sheen of sweat and water from the tub. Tilting his head back against the wall more, Kendall twists it and gasps Carlos' name when he pulls off, the tip of his tongue dragging across the head of his cock and it makes Kendall shudder, teeth snagging on his lower lip.

"How was that?" Carlos asks, voice low and rough as he licks across his lips slowly, moaning at the taste of Kendall on them.

Huffing, Kendall swallows and moves his hand down the back of Carlos' neck. "Fucking perfect," he whispers, breathless.

"You think you can move or do you wanna sit there for a minute?"

"I think I'm fine," Kendall replies, slumping forward until his forehead is resting against the top of Carlos' head. "Just... give me a second."

Carlos laughs and runs his hands up Kendall's thighs slowly. "Take all the time you need," he murmurs, fingertips drumming against Kendall's skin.

Giving a weak nod, Kendall swallows thickly and breathes in through his nose, holding air in his lungs before exhaling slowly, running his fingers along Carlos' skin, dragging them down between his shoulders. When he can breathe better than before, Kendall straightens up and nearly falls into the tub, but then two hands are on his waist and Carlos is steadying him, looking at Kendall with a raised brow.

"I'm fine," he says, moving a hand up to trace Carlos' lower lip with his thumb. "Come on, to the bedroom we go."

"Alright," Carlos says; he slips his hands away from Kendall's waist and stands, stepping out of the tub before grabbing two towels.

Kendall follows him and stumbles out of the tub a bit, cursing under his breath when Carlos catches him. "I meant to do that," he mutters.

"Uh-huh, sure." Laughing, Carlos wraps a towel around Kendall's waist and does the same with his own, helping his boyfriend out of the bathroom slowly, one arm wrapped around his torso. They walk into the bedroom and Kendall lets his head fall against the top of Carlos', an arm slung around his shoulders, eyelids heavy as they step out into the hallway and head toward his room.

Once they're inside his room, Kendall goes over to the bed and sits down on it before laying back across the middle, raising his arms above him, his hands hanging off the edge of the mattress. He hears Carlos laugh at him and grunts in response, kicking out a foot toward the sound of his boyfriend's laughter, frowning when he hits nothing but air. Sighing, Kendall closes his eyes and listens to the door squeak open and he opens one eye, tilting his head up slightly to stare in front of him, frowning more when he doesn't see Carlos.

Letting his head fall back onto the mattress, Kendall closes his eyes and sighs contentedly, turning his head to bury his face against the crook of his arm, breathing in deeply. He stays like that until he hears the door open and shut, tilting his head a little to open his eyes, grinning when he hears the lock click, watching Carlos dump their clothes onto the floor before laying Kendall's phone on the nightstand.

"Come here," Kendall says, moving his arms so they're extended to Carlos, making a grabby-hands motion at his boyfriend.

Carlos rolls his eyes a bit and drops the towel away from his waist before moving forward, sliding onto the bed beside Kendall. "Yes?"

"Want to repay you for that  _amazing_  blowjob you gave me," Kendall murmurs, wrapping one arm around Carlos' neck, dragging his fingertips along the stubble on his jaw, smiling. "Unless you don't want me to, of course."

"And," Carlos starts, humming quietly, "why would I want that?"

Shrugging, Kendall leans in to kiss the tip of Carlos' nose. "I don't know, because you're greedy and only want to please me?"

"That's being greedy?"

"It's being cock-greedy," Kendall grumbles, brushing their noses together before dragging the tip of his along the side of Carlos'. "So, do you want me to repay you or do we just lay here in awkward silence for a while?"

"You can repay me if you really want to; I'm not going to stop you." Carlos laughs quietly, looking up into Kendall's eyes as he rubs the sides of their noses together slowly, feeling Kendall's upper lip drag across his bottom lip. "You can do whatever you want," he whispers, moving a hand up the inside of Kendall's arm, smiling softly.

Kendall nods and moves his mouth down, pressing his lips against Carlos', breathing softly against his skin for a moment before kissing him, letting his eyes flutter shut for a second. When he pulls away, Kendall disentangles his arm away from Carlos' neck and gently rolls him onto his back, sliding onto his lap awkwardly, with the towel still wrapped around his waist. He hunches over his boyfriend and smiles, running a fingertip along the side of his neck, tracing his pulse lightly, before dipping it down over his collarbone.

He looks down at the boy spread out in front of him and smiles more, biting down on his lower lip, dragging his finger down until he gets to Carlos' nipples, running the tip around the skin slowly. A gasp leaves Carlos' throat and Kendall runs his finger along the circle of skin again, dragging it counterclockwise then clockwise, reveling in each noise he pulls from his boyfriend's chest.

Shifting awkwardly on Carlos' lap, Kendall moves his other hand up and traces the lines of his boyfriend's stomach, fingertips dragging across the smooth expanse of skin before getting to the other nipple. He traces it with his middle finger, going in the same pattern as the other, and licks his lips slowly, watching Carlos' eyes disappear behind a thick crop of lashes, his mouth parting into a slight 'o.' It makes Kendall's heartbeat race and his skin breaks out into goosebumps, his hands trembling as he plays with Carlos' nipples, rolling them between his fingers before pressing against them with the pads of his thumbs.

The towel comes undone from around his waist and Kendall moves his hands away only long enough to take the damp fabric off, tossing it onto the floor before returning his hands to Carlos' chest. He strokes his skin lovingly, fingers swiping down between his pecs, the heels of his hands brushing across his nipples and making him inhale sharply, hands shooting out to touch Kendall's hips.

Kendall's legs are tucked underneath Carlos' and he's sitting back on his thighs, dragging his hands down his stomach and back up slowly, splaying his fingers across Carlos' chest. With his fingertips touching Carlos' collarbones, Kendall wraps them around the bone and leans down, pressing a kiss to the skin just above Carlos' nipple, breathing against it gently. He moves over to do the same thing with the other one, slipping his hands over Carlos' shoulders and down his arms slowly, shivering when his boyfriend does.

"Kendall," Carlos moans, the hands on Kendall's hips tightening.

"Shh," he whispers, kissing up until he gets to Carlos' collarbone. "Just enjoy it, okay?"

Carlos nods and whimpers, tossing his head back against the mattress when Kendall drags his teeth across the length of his collarbone before sucking down on it. He bites the skin and sucks harder, hands going back to his nipples to play with the rings, flicking his thumbs against them gently, listening to Carlos moan his name. Grinning to himself, Kendall moves up and kisses Carlos' chin right where his mole is, making his way to his boyfriend's lips, hovering his own above them.

"God," Kendall breathes, barely ghosting his lips over Carlos', "I love you so much."

Whimpering, Carlos opens his eyes and looks up at Kendall. "I love you too," he replies, thumbs moving in circles on Kendall's hips.

Kendall smiles and leans down to kiss Carlos' mole one last time, moving his hands down his stomach as he straightens up to look down at the body underneath him. He bites at his lower lip, eyes roving up and down Carlos' body as Kendall settles his hands just above his belly button, fingers tapping against his sides lightly. When Kendall's eyes rake up and down, he notices small freckles on Carlos' skin and he leans back down, tracing each of them with his tongue, playing 'connect the dots' with his boyfriend's freckles.

He traces them down to the sharp cut of Carlos' hip and licks across the crease slowly, biting at his skin before moving a hand down his leg, fingers digging into the soft flesh. Moving over to the other hip, Kendall does the same thing to it and looks up, watching as Carlos' eyes roll shut, his mouth parting slightly. Kendall grins a little and wraps a hand around Carlos' cock as he straightens up again, sitting on his boyfriend's lap as he strokes him slowly, the movements languid.

"There are so many things I want to do to you," Kendall whispers, thumbing underneath the head of Carlos' cock, keeping his fingers wrapped loosely around the shaft just below. "Like, god, right now? Right now I just wanna flip you over, spread your legs, and tongue-fuck you until you're  _begging_  for my cock."

Carlos moans and rolls his hips forward, fingernails digging into Kendall's skin. "Yeah? What else?"

"And while you're begging for my cock, I'll slip a couple of fingers into you, pump them in and out along with my tongue. Drive you absolutely fucking insane, maybe even make you come against the mattress, untouched." Kendall's voice is low and rough, his hand sliding down the length of Carlos' cock, giving it a light squeeze before stroking up. "Get three fingers in you, spreading that tight little ass open for my cock, getting it all nice and wet with my spit," he continues, leaning down to whisper against Carlos' lips, "and you'll be able to fucking  _hear_  me fuck you with my fingers."

"Oh  _fuck_ ," Carlos moans, letting his eyes roll behind his eyelids, moving a hand to Kendall's side.

Grinning, Kendall sits up again and starts stroking Carlos' cock slowly. "Then, just when you can't fucking take it anymore, I'll slam my cock into you and pin your hips down against the bed, keeping you there so you can't move. You want that, baby? You want me to hold you down and fuck that tight, wet hole after I've fingered you and licked you open?"

And Carlos doesn't answer verbally; he rolls his hips up, scratching at Kendall's skin, digs his fingernails into his side and whimpers, biting down on his lower lip when he feels Kendall stroke his cock a little faster. He blows out a breath, slumps back against the mattress and just barely moves his hips along with Kendall's hand, moaning his name quietly, dragging a hand down his boyfriend's side and then back up, wrapping it just underneath his rib cage.

"Yeah," Kendall chuckles, moving his free hand to Carlos' balls, teasing them lightly. "You want me to hold you down, press your cock against the mattress so you get that friction. My cock in your ass, yours rubbing against the mattress until you come and clench around me, hmm? Make me come in that tight ass of yours, groaning your name before I lean over to bite down on your neck, maybe make you bleed a little."

"Do it now," Carlos says, voice hushed and the words coming out quickly. "Fuck. Just bite me, mark me, make me come," he begs, opening his eyes for a second, locking them on Kendall's before they flutter shut and he moans, thrusting his hips up against Kendall's hand.

Kendall licks his lips and leans down, kissing Carlos' chest, lips brushing against his skin as he speaks, "Is that what you want?"

"I fucking - ah, ah,  _Kendall._ "

"Hmm?" Kendall twists his hand and strokes Carlos quickly, pressing his thumb against the slit.

Carlos huffs and swallows, tilting his head to the side. "I  _asked_  for it," he says, barely getting the words out before he moans loudly.

"True," Kendall whispers, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Carlos' skin, moving up to his shoulder, feeling the head of Carlos' cock slide against his stomach as he moves. "Where do you want me to bite you, baby?"

"Anywhere."

Smirking, Kendall nods and licks across Carlos' shoulder slowly before biting down, his teeth breathing the skin. He stays there for a moment, the faint taste of iron on his tongue, before pulling away to look at the bite, his mind registering the noises Carlos is making. His boyfriend is moaning and whimpering, stringing Kendall's name - and several curse words - in between the noises, his hips hammering up toward his hand. A small amount of blood trickles down Carlos' skin and Kendall moves his free hand up, touching the bite gingerly, brushing his thumb across it.

"Did I hurt you?" Kendall asks, genuinely concerned.

Carlos snorts and shakes his head violently, whimpering out, "No, didn't - ah - hurt. Wanna come, Kendall."

With that, Kendall moves his hand back down and plays with Carlos' balls again; he squeezes them lightly and rolls them between his fingers as he keeps stroking his cock, thumbing under the head whenever he gets to it. He can tell Carlos is getting closer by the way he's moaning and writhing on the mattress, hips slamming up for more.

Kendall leans down, spits on Carlos' cock, and strokes as quickly as possible, barely able to hear the sound his hand is making over Carlos' moans and whimpering. His body is hot again and he bites down on his lip, rolls it between his teeth as he continues to stroke, murmuring soft encouragements to Carlos, biting back a moan when he feels hot, thick ropes of come hit his hand, stomach, and chest.

Panting, Carlos arches off the bed and grips Kendall tightly, fingers sinking into his skin as he comes. He nearly screams Kendall's name, moaning it out a few times as his orgasm rips through him, before settling back onto the bed with a loud grunt. Carlos keeps his eyes screwed shut and his hands on Kendall until he hears a laugh; when he hears the noise, Carlos blinks his eyes open and looks at Kendall, who's licking the come off his hand with a big smile.

"Ugh," Carlos groans, throwing an arm over his eyes. "That's fucking hot."

"Sorry." With another laugh, Kendall moves off Carlos' lap and grabs a towel off the floor, using it to clean himself up. He drops it when he's gotten all the come off his skin and moves back onto the mattress, sliding onto the bed next to Carlos, kissing his shoulder lightly. "You good?"

Carlos nods slowly and pulls his arm away from his eyes. "Tired now," he mutters, huffing out a laugh when Kendall rolls his eyes.

"We can go back to bed if you want," Kendall suggests, running a hand along the middle of Carlos' stomach. "Then we can talk about going out tonight. Just you and me or you, me, Logan, and Camille."

"Maybe," Carlos yawns, turning onto his side before snuggling against Kendall. "We'll talk about it later."

Kendall hums and runs his fingers through Carlos' hair slowly, feeling soft breath against his neck. He shivers a little, closes his eyes, and starts breathing in time with Carlos, surprised at just how sleepy and exhausted he is until he slips into sleep. They press against one another and Carlos slips an arm around Kendall's waist, holding onto him as he sleeps, making soft noises against his boyfriend's neck.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: showers with nakedness and bubbles and maybe some accidental sexual touching!, some kissing light biting in the beginning, smoking, a line of dirty talk, surprise sex toys!, and drinking.]

It's late in the afternoon and Kendall is the first to awake; he yawns quietly, shifts underneath Carlos' weight, and moves a hand to the back of his boyfriend's head, fingers sliding through the short hair. He breathes in slowly and listens to the noises that Carlos is making, the small breathes and the tiny moans coming from his throat, all of it making Kendall smile. Shifting a little more to get comfortable, Kendall moves his free hand to Carlos' bicep and strokes it lightly, feeling how soft and smooth his boyfriend's skin feels underneath his fingertips.

With a sharp intake of breath, Carlos buries his face against Kendall's chest and grumbles against it, "Hi."

"Good afternoon. I was just starting to wonder when you'd join me in the land of the living," Kendall mumbles, grinning as he moves his hand down the back of Carlos' head, fingers dragging down the nape of his neck.

"Ha, ha." Yawning, Carlos rubs his face against Kendall's chest, his stubble scraping along his skin.

Kendall smiles and leans down, kissing the top of Carlos' head. "How'd you sleep?"

"Slept like a baby," Carlos mumbles, pulling his face away from Kendall's chest to look up at him, smiling sleepily.

"Good."

Nodding, Carlos yawns again and rests his chin just above Kendall's ribs. "How'd  _you_  sleep?"

"Just fine," Kendall answers, moving his hand down between Carlos' shoulders, pressing his palm flat against his skin.

Carlos just smiles and shakes his head slowly as he scoots up a little, brushing his mouth against Kendall's for a second, taking his boyfriend's bottom lip between his teeth. He bites down on it gently and sucks on it before letting go, giving Kendall a grin before rolling onto his back with a groan, scrubbing a hand down his face. After a moment of laying there, Carlos sits up and yawns loudly, running a hand through his hair before dropping it onto his lap; he turns to look at Kendall, who's staring at him with half-lidded eyes, and smiles softly.

"So," Kendall starts, moving a hand to Carlos' thigh, brushing his knuckles against his skin, "do you want to go out tonight?"

"Will Romeo and Juliet be joining us?"

Snorting at the comparison, Kendall shrugs a shoulder. "Not unless you want them to," he answers, dragging the backs of his fingers along Carlos' thigh, looking up at him with a small smile.

"It  _would_  be nice to go out with them again," Carlos murmurs, dropping his gaze to Kendall's hand, watching as it moves up and down the outside of his thigh, causing him to shiver. "What are we going to go out and do? No movies, please.."

"We could go out for a nice dinner." Carlos shakes his head and makes a face, causing Kendall to laugh; he nods, though, and purses his lips, fingertips gliding along his boyfriend's skin as he thinks. "We could go do something fun, like play pool."

Raising an eyebrow, Carlos smirks and moves his hand to Kendall's arm. "Pool sounds fun," he says, running his fingers along the inside of Kendall's wrist, tracing his veins slowly, listening to him breathe deeply. "I think Logan will go for that."

"Really? You don't think it's a stupid idea?"

"No," Carlos laughs, looking up at Kendall with a smile. "I think it's a great idea."

Kendall breathes deeply through his nose and rests his hand against the top of Carlos' thigh. "Then I'll have to call Camille and convince her that it's a good idea."

"I don't think she'll need much convincing."

"Why?" Kendall asks, arching an eyebrow.

Carlos laughs again and shakes his head. "She seems like the kind of girl who could kick some ass at pool."

"Does she?" Pursing his lips, Kendall thinks about it and laughs, nodding his head slowly. "Now that I think about it," he says, laughing in between words, "she does! She could take someone's money and wipe the floor with them, I bet."

"I hope we're going to play for fun and  _not_  money."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall sits up and kisses Carlos softly, whispering against his lips, "We're not going to play for money."

"Okay," Carlos whispers and he kisses Kendall again, moving a hand to the back of his neck to hold him still. He licks across his boyfriend's lips and coaxes them apart, slipping the tip of his tongue into Kendall's mouth, just barely swiping across his tongue before pulling back.

Their mouths are mere centimeters away and Kendall's breathing on Carlos' mouth, running a hand down the length of his thigh before stopping just above his knee. He licks his lips slowly, leans in to give Carlos one last kiss, and then moves off the side of the bed, standing next to it as he scratches his lower abdomen idly. Bending down, Kendall grabs a pair of boxers off the floor and slips into them quickly, snapping the waistband against his hips as he looks at Carlos, grinning a little.

"I'm going to go outside for a smoke," he explains, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and taking one out as he continues, "and I'll call Camille while I'm out there, see if she's cool with going to play pool tonight."

Carlos nods his head, watching Kendall as he puts the cigarette between his lips. "I'll text Logan."

"And I'll be back," Kendall mumbles around the butt of his smoke, grinning at Carlos as he grabs a lighter and his phone, giving his boyfriend a little wave - or, a wiggle of his fingers - before moving to the door. He steps out into the hall and unlocks his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he sees Camille's name and he taps it as he walks down the stairs, listening to the other line ring as he steps off the bottom stair.

Kendall moves out onto the porch and cradles the phone between his shoulder and head, lighting the end of his cigarette and straightening up, taking a long drag. He wraps his fingers around the filter, pulls it away, and lets the smoke flow from between his lips, frowning as the phone keeps ringing; he's about to hang up when the line clicks and Camille answers.

"Hello?"

"Hey, what's up?" Kendall puts the cigarette between his lips again and lets it hang there as he scratches across his stomach again, running his fingers up his chest, listening to Camille talk.

"I was just watching a movie," she answers, laughing quietly. "That's why it took me so long to answer, sorry."

Smiling around the filter of his cigarette, Kendall pulls it away and blow smoke out, speaking as he does, "It's alright. I would have just called back in a minute or two anyway."

"Are you smoking?" Camille asks, curious.

"What if I am?"

She laughs again, the noise louder and sounding more amused than the last. "Then I'd ask why you aren't sharing."

"Cause you're at home," Kendall mumbles, pausing to take another drag, "and I'm at my place."

"You could come here and share with me, you asshole."

Kendall huffs and flicks his ashes, turning the cigarette around in his fingers. "I'm kind of just in my boxers... or Carlos', I don't know which ones I picked up, honestly," he says, chuckling as he brings the cigarette back to his lips.

"How is Carlos?" Camille asks, in her 'dreamy' voice, and Kendall tries not to laugh again.

"S'good," he mumbles, watching smoke billow toward the sky. "Actually, we were wondering if you and Logan wanted to join us on a date tonight. Kind of as the last double date we'll all be able to go on for a while."

There's a beat of silence before Camille asks, "Where are you going?"

"We're going to play some pool." Kendall flicks his thumb against the filter of his cigarette, turning his head down to watch ashes fall onto the porch. "You can always come and watch us, plus the pool hall has a bunch of different stuff to do."

"Are you insinuating that I don't play pool?"

Snorting, Kendall shakes his head and lifts his hand, scratching behind his ear with his thumb, being careful not to touch his hair with the end of his cigarette. He licks across his lips slowly and drops his hand, chuckling before answering, "Nope, I'm not."

"Then I'd love to go," Camille says, her voice cheery.

"Alright, sounds good," Kendall replies, smiling broadly. "I'll text you with the address to the pool hall and you two can meet us there, how's that sound?"

Camille giggles on the other end and Kendall's smile grows. "Sounds great! See you later."

"See ya." They say goodbye again before hanging up and Kendall flicks the butt of his cigarette again before putting it between his lips, turning on his heels as he takes a long drag. He pulls it away and leans down to stub it out in one of his mom's potted plants before heading inside, nearly running up the stairs.

When he gets into his room, Kendall moves to sit on the bed beside Carlos, who's laying on his stomach with the sheets twisted around his body, staring at the phone laying in front of him. He leans down and presses a kiss to Carlos' shoulder, brushing his lips along the bite mark slowly, frowning as he pulls away. "Camille's in," he says, shifting a little as he bends a leg, pulling it up onto the mattress.

"So is Logan." Carlos looks up and smiles, dragging his teeth over his lower lip. "Guess we should take a proper shower before we head out, huh?"

"Probably." Laughing, Kendall hunches down and kisses Carlos softly. "You'll probably need clothes, too."

Pursing his lips, Carlos shrugs and pulls away a little. "I just need a shirt; my pants are clean, I think."

"Alright," Kendall says, tossing his phone onto the pillow as he stands. "We'll take an innocent shower, I'll lend you a shirt, and then I'll text Camille the whereabouts of the pool hall."

"Sounds like a plan."

Kendall makes a scrunchy face at Carlos and pushes his boxers off, kicking them to the side before heading into the bathroom, turning the shower on while he waits for Carlos. He checks the temperature and adjusts the knobs before stepping into the tub, letting the steady stream of water hit his body, sighing at the warmth. After a moment, the door shuts and Kendall looks toward it, smiling when he sees Carlos standing in the bathroom naked.

"C'mere," he says, holding his hand out to Carlos, crooking his fingers slightly.

Carlos takes Kendall's hand and steps closer, getting into the tub behind him; he presses his body against Kendall's, wraps both arms around his waist and sighs contentedly. Kendall moves his hands to Carlos' and laces their fingers together, standing still underneath the shower for another moment before he pulls away, grabbing the body wash. He pops the top and squeezes some out into his palm, rubbing both of them together as he turns to look at Carlos, smiling.

Blushing, Carlos bites his lip and closes his eyes when Kendall puts both hands against his chest, working the lather against his skin before moving down. Suds run in a thick line from Carlos' collarbones down to his cock and he shivers when Kendall just barely moves a hand over him, fingers brushing across the head before he sinks down onto his knees. He looks up at Carlos with a wider smile, running his hands down the outsides of his thighs before going back for more body wash; after squeezing more soap onto his palms and rubbing it in, Kendall goes back to soaping up Carlos' legs.

"Kendall," Carlos moans, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth as he moves a hand to Kendall's hair, giving it a soft tug.

"Hmm?"

Carlos huffs and drops his chin toward his chest, looking down at Kendall. "Innocent, remember?"

"This  _is_  innocent," Kendall says, moving his hands along the backs of Carlos' legs, fingertips brushing just underneath his ass.

"That's not," Carlos squeaks, moving his hand through Kendall's wet hair. "We can do this later."

Humming quietly, Kendall runs his hands up and grips Carlos' hips, standing slowly. "Alright, I'll be good."

" _Thank you_." With a smile, Carlos grabs the bottle of body wash and pours some onto his hand, rubbing it in. "Besides, you're not going to be the only one that gets to enjoy this," he mutters, running his lathered hands along Kendall's shoulders and down his arms slowly, rubbing the soap against his skin.

"Mm, you're welcome," Kendall hums, closing his eyes as Carlos scrubs down his arms and moves to his chest, working his hands in slow circles, trailing them down the middle of Kendall's stomach. He sighs when he feels the heel of Carlos' hand brush across his cock and bites down on his lower lip, moving his own hand to his boyfriend's stomach. Fingers swipe through the suds on Carlos' skin, dragging it down toward his cock and then suddenly Kendall's hand is being smacked away and Carlos is clicking his tongue against his teeth.

The sound of a top being opened makes Kendall open his eyes and he stares at Carlos, who's shaking his head and smiling, pouring more soap into his hand before rubbing both palms together. He pulls one hand away, points his finger and twirls it, motioning for Kendall to turn and he obeys, feeling Carlos' hands on his shoulder blades once he's facing the shower wall. A hand moves down his spine and Kendall shivers, sucking in a breath when he feels fingers ghosting along the crease of his ass and he wants to push back, wants Carlos' fingers _in_  him instead of  _on_  him.

"My hands are still a little dirty," Carlos mutters, mostly to himself, as he rubs his hands against Kendall's ass before sinking onto his knees behind him. "I need to scrub them a little more."

Kendall laughs - huffs, really - and swallows hard. "Yeah, probably," he says, pressing his hands against the tiles in front of him.

"I'll do that later." Nodding, Carlos moves his hands down Kendall's back and rubs the soap against his skin, watching as it's washed away a second later. "Being down here makes me want to tongue fuck you," he growls, moving his hands back up the curve of Kendall's ass before wrapping them around his hips.

"Why  _aren't_  you?" Kendall whines, leaning his forehead against the tile, breathing hard.

Carlos shrugs a shoulder and chuckles. "Because then we'll be in here too long and I won't want to go out later," he explains.

"Camille and Logan will understand."

"No," Carlos says as he stands, "they won't."

"Yes they will," Kendall says, turning to look at Carlos over his shoulder, biting his lip.

Shaking his head, Carlos leans forward and up, kissing Kendall softly. "I'll do it later, promise."

"Fine. We should get out of here, then."

"Why?" Carlos asks, raising a brow.

Kendall sighs and swallows, nearly growling, "Because I want to slam you against the wall and fuck you 'til you're screaming."

"Oh," Carlos says, licking his lips slowly and nodding. "Gotcha."

Laughing quietly, Kendall shakes his head and steps under the water more, letting the stream wash away the suds from his skin. Once they're mostly gone, he turns around and maneuvers himself and Carlos around until he's underneath the shower, moving both hands down his body, helping the water get rid of the bubbles. He catches some leftover suds on the tip of his finger and puts it on the end of Carlos' nose, grinning.

"You got some," he says, pointing at his own nose, "right there."

Carlos rolls his eyes and wipes the bubbles off, putting them on Kendall's cheek. They disappear immediately and Kendall laughs, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend slowly, moving both hands along his lower back, catching some bubbles the water didn't get. When he pulls away, Kendall licks his lips and moves around Carlos to turn the water off before stepping out of the tub, grabbing two towels on his way out.

Water drips off Kendall's body as he wraps a towel around his waist, stepping back when Carlos steps out. "Here, a towel for you," he says, holding the other towel out to his boyfriend, a wide grin spread out across his face.

"Thanks," Carlos says, taking the fabric before wrapping it around his own waist, holding it in place.

"You're welcome." With a slight nod, Kendall turns on his heels - and they squeak against the tiles - before heading out of the bathroom, moving over to his dresser. He bends down, opens a drawer, and grabs two shirts at random, tossing them onto the bed before shutting the drawer and opening another, grabbing boxers and a pair of jeans. "Pick whatever shirt you want," he says, making a sweeping motion toward the shirts with his hand before going to pull his towel off.

Nodding, Carlos moves to the bed and looks at the shirt, deciding to go with the one that looks the smallest. He takes his own towel off and starts to dry himself, running the towel through his hair before tossing it onto the floor. Once he's dry enough, Carlos bends down to grab his boxers off the floor and he slips them on quickly, adjusting them on his hips a little before picking the shirt up and pulling it over his head.

The shirt fits snug against his body and Carlos smiles, running a hand down his stomach as he goes to get his jeans off the floor, glancing at Kendall for a second. He whistles as he bends down to grab his pants, grinning when Kendall turns to look at him, one arm through the hole in his shirt. Winking at his boyfriend, Carlos straightens up and pulls his jeans on quickly, jumping into them a little before buttoning and zipping them up.

"Done," he announces, slipping his hands into his pockets to watch Kendall pull his shirt on fully. "I'm going to go scrub my hands and see if I can get some of this dirt off." Carlos pulls his hands out of his pants pockets and holds them up, wiggling his fingers a little before turning to disappear into the bathroom, leaving Kendall alone in his room.

When Carlos goes into the bathroom, Kendall shakes his head and pulls his jeans on, doing them up as he makes his way back to the bed, grabbing his phone off the pillow. He brings a text message up, types Camille's name in as the destination, and types the address of the pool hall before hitting send, waiting until it's confirmed before locking his phone. Once it's locked, he shoves it into his back pocket and grabs his cigarettes and lighter, slipping those into his other back pocket.

Kendall's got everything together when Carlos comes back out, his hands less dirty than before and he asks, "You ready?"

"I'm ready," Carlos says and he nods, to confirm that he is, indeed, ready to go.

"Come on." Kendall winks and moves to the door, moving his phone to his front pocket so that he can slide his wallet into the back one. He walks out into the hall, running a hand through his wet hair, and takes the stairs quickly, jumping off the bottom one before moving toward the door to grab his shoes. After putting on a pair of socks that he found in his shoes - thank his past self for doing that, he thinks - and then putting on his shoes, Kendall grabs his car keys and looks at Carlos, who's just tied his own shoes.

Carlos looks at Kendall and smiles, moving toward him. "Lead the way, sir," he says, winking playfully.

"I like when you call me sir," Kendall whispers, winking back at Carlos before moving to open the door. He steps out onto the porch, waits for Carlos to come out, and locks the door before jumping down the stairs. Once Carlos joins him, Kendall takes his hand and laces their fingers together, leading him to the car and around to the passenger side, where he opens the door for Carlos, smiling.

"Thank you." Carlos kisses Kendall's cheek and lets go of his hand before getting into the car. He waits until the door is shut to put his seat belt on and he leans back against the seat, sighing contentedly as he closes his eyes, listening to Kendall get in.

They're pulling out of the driveway a moment later and Kendall puts the car in drive before heading down the street, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel as they drive toward town. He's humming and tapping out the beat to a song that's playing on the radio, not paying attention to what it is or who sings it, just letting the beat take over. By the time the song ends, they pull into town and Kendall immediately slows down, cursing a few times at a car that's going even slower than he is and that seems to be driven by someone who's two hundred years old... or so he says, anyway.

"Calm down," Carlos says, moving a hand to wrap around Kendall's wrist, his voice soft. "It's alright."

Kendall huffs and nods his head, swallowing thickly. "I know, I just... slow drivers bother me," he admits, turning pink.

"They bother everyone - even the slow drivers." Kendall laughs at that and Carlos smiles, rubbing his wrist. "There you go."

When they get out from behind the slow driver - and Kendall thanks Jesus; actually says 'thank Jesus' out loud and everything - the ride isn't as stressful and it isn't filled with Kendall's curses and quiet insults about how some people should have their licenses taken away. They get to the pool hall without incident and Kendall parks the car near the door, turning to look at Carlos, looking utterly embarrassed. "Sorry," he mutters, screwing his mouth up to one side.

"For what?"

"Road rage," is Kendall's simple explanation and he sighs heavily; Carlos laughs at him. "What?"

Carlos shakes his head and keeps laughing a little before answering, "Nothing, you're just... you're apologizing for being human and being angry at things that are completely okay to be angry about. There's nothing to be sorry for, baby. I promise."

"Oh," Kendall mumbles, cheeks turning pink. "Well, good," he says, smiling a little.

"C'mere." Unhooking his seat belt, Carlos leans forward and kisses Kendall's cheeks before pecking his lips softly. "You're cute when you're embarrassed  _and_  when you're yelling at little old ladies in Lincoln Town Cars."

Biting his lip, Kendall shakes his head and laughs. "I'm glad you think so," he mutters.

"I do," Carlos says and he leans in, kissing the tip of Kendall's nose. "Now, can we have some fun tonight and try to forget that you nearly ran that old man off the road a few miles back?"

"Yeah, definitely." Kendall smiles a little more and licks his lips, turning the engine off before getting out of the car. He goes around to the passenger side and opens the door, waiting until Carlos is out before shutting it and taking his hand, lacing their fingers together. "Let's go find a table before they're all taken," he says, leading Carlos to the door before opening, letting him go in first before following him.

It's more crowded than Kendall expected but there's an empty pool table in the corner, so they go over and grab it; Carlos racks the balls and gets them ready while Kendall goes to grab two pool cues, figuring they can play a game - or half of one - before Camille and Logan get there. He takes the cues back to Carlos and grabs the chalk, rubbing it against the top of the cue before setting it back down, watching as Carlos weighs his cue in his hand, snorting. "Is it okay?"

"Think so," Carlos answers as he moves to take the rack off carefully, lifting it before putting it away and looking up at Kendall with a raised brow. "Who goes first?"

"I'm younger, so.."

Carlos snorts and shakes his head. "I'm older," he points out, winking when Kendall sticks his tongue out. "I'll break, then."

"Be my guest. I'm not very good at doing that," Kendall admits, moving to stand off near the side as Carlos goes around to the front of the pool table, grabbing the cue ball on his way. He sets it down in the correct spot and looks at the table for a moment, assessing the other balls before getting into position; Carlos wraps his right hand around the end of the cue and puts his left hand on the table, tenting his thumb and forefinger a bit.

After moving a bit to get into the perfect stance, Carlos slips the cue in between his thumb and forefinger and stares down at the cue ball, tongue caught between his teeth in concentration. He pulls the cue back a few times before angling it a little and shooting, sending the cue ball barreling into the other balls, scattering them. Grinning proudly, Carlos stands up and moves over to where Kendall is standing, hand wrapped around the small end of the cue.

"Did I ever tell you that Logan and I used to play pool all the time?" Carlos asks as he leans against the wall, still grinning.

Kendall shakes his head and swallows thickly, going over to the table. "No," he says as he gets into position, tenting his fingers on the table before sliding the end of the cue between them, "and I bet you guys were good, huh?"

"Hell yeah, but I don't want to toot my own horn or anything."

"Oh, me either. Let's see if I can get the two into the side pocket, huh?" Kendall smirks and shoots the cue ball into the solid two ball, bouncing it off the striped eleven before it sinks into the side pocket; when it goes in, he laughs and straightens up, turning to look at Carlos. "Guess I'm solids, huh?"

Carlos stares at Kendall and shakes his head. "You're gonna hustle me, aren't you?"

"Baby, I'd never do that to you." With another smirk, Kendall moves around the table again and looks at the balls, licking his lips slowly as he thinks. When he gets a plan, Kendall leans down and gets into position again, closing one of his eyes as he lines up to shoot the five into the corner pocket. "Five into the corner," he says as he shoots the cue ball against another ball, which gets knocked into the five and sends it into the corner.

"Fuck, good thing we're not playing for money.."

Kendall laughs and looks at Carlos. "We can play for money if you want."

"No, I'm alright," Carlos says, leaning his back against the wall. He looks away from Kendall and spots Camille and Logan in the crowd, lifting a hand to wave them over, whistling to get their attention. "Yo, Logan! Over here!"

Logan looks at Carlos and smiles, pulling Camille over to the table they're playing at, blinking at Kendall as he moves to get in another shot, bending over the table a little. He shakes his head and moves over to Carlos, leaning against the wall beside him, crossing both arms over his chest. "Is he any good?"

"Dude," Carlos says, shaking his head slowly, "he's fucking amazing."

"We're screwed, huh?" Logan asks, and Carlos just nods his head, watching Kendall shoot - and miss - his next shot.

Pushing off the wall, Carlos comes forward with a grin. "My turn," he says, brushing past Kendall and smiling at Camille when he passes her, before setting up near where the cue ball is. Leaning down, he looks at the remaining balls and their placement, biting at his lower lip as he thinks.

"I didn't know you were good at pool," Camille says, punching Kendall's shoulder lightly. "Maybe we can play against the boys."

Kendall laughs and nods, leaning against the wall next to her. "Maybe, yeah," he says, smiling brightly.

They all watch Carlos get into position after moving again to get a better angle and Logan chews on his thumb nervously, eyes locked on the pool cue in his best friend's hand. When Carlos shoots the cue ball into a solid one and ends up sinking the fifteen, Logan jumps and lets out an ecstatic 'woo hoo' that no one but Camille and Kendall notice. After he makes the shot, Carlos stands up and nods to his friends, winking at Kendall before moving around to the other side of the table.

It doesn't take long for their game to come to a close and Kendall wins, but only just barely. They order food and play another round, this time Camille and Kendall against Logan and Carlos, and they enjoy themselves, laughing and making jokes at one another when they mess up or, in Logan's case, when they jump the cue ball and it goes over the end of the table, rolling away toward the crowd.

After three games and two plates of fries, they decide to order real food and send Kendall and Logan to go get it so Carlos and Camille can play a game against each other. The two agree and go up to the "bar" to order the food, leaning against it after their request is taken and Logan nudges his shoulder against Kendall's, smirking.

"So, Boston next week," he says and it's the first time Kendall's thought about it all day.

Swallowing hard, Kendall nods slowly. "Yeah, I forgot all about that," he admits, shrugging.

"I got you a gift. Well, Camille and I got it for you, but I purchased it because she's not old enough to."

"What'd you get me?" Kendall raises a brow and stares at Logan, deadpanning when his friend grins. "Oh, god, no..."

Logan laughs and licks his lips, before biting down on his tongue for a second. "It's in the car; I'll give it to you later, when we're not around a bunch of people, and when I can discreetly sneak it to you," he says, laughing again at Kendall's face.

"You got me.." Kendall trails off, shaking his head. "You got me a sex toy, didn't you?"

"Well, I had to get you  _something_ ," Logan says, shrugging nonchalantly. "You know, so you won't miss Carlos too much."

Kendall can feel his entire face burning and he brings both hands up, burying his face against his palms, embarrassed. Actually, no - embarrassed is an understatement; Kendall is beyond embarrassed and he can't find a word to describe what he's feeling, not even if he tried. When his face cools down a little, Kendall pulls his hands away and huffs, shaking his head as he looks up at Logan, who's grinning proudly at him.

They wait a few more minutes for their food and take it over to Carlos and Camille when it's done; Logan and Kendall sit down at one of the tables near their friends and they start to eat, watching the game that's being played. When Camille banks a shot, Logan cheers and gives her a kiss, which makes Kendall smile at his two friends... and when Carlos gets one, well, Kendall does the same thing for him, just without so much cheering.

Camille and Carlos' game comes to an end with Carlos winning and they switch places; Logan and Kendall take their spots at the pool table with their significant others eat their food and watch. They flip a coin to see who breaks and Logan wins the toss; he racks the balls and sets the cue ball up at the front of the table, tenting his fingers on the green felt before slipping the cue through them. He brings his forefinger closer to his middle finger and stances his body perfectly, sliding the cue between his fingers a few times before shooting the cue ball.

The other balls scatter and Kendall takes his chance to get the first one in; he sinks a striped ball on the first time and then goes for a second shot, fucking that one up before giving Logan a chance. Logan takes three shots and then screws the fourth one up, sinking the first three balls before it's Kendall's turn again and they keep going until they have a winner (which is Logan).

By the time they're ready to leave, they've played ten games and eaten more food than they probably should have; Logan and Camille follow Carlos and Kendall home, pulling into the Knight driveway behind them. Kendall gets out and goes up to unlock the door, ushering everyone into the house quickly, going to grab beers from the fridge when they're all situated in the living room, picking out a movie.

Kendall comes back into the living room with two six packs and he sets them down on the coffee table before Logan pulls him into the kitchen again, a bag in his hands. He's got a grin on his face and Kendall's heartbeat speeds up, his hands shaking as he takes the bag from his friend, swallowing hard when he's left along in the kitchen with a bag containing a sex toy that is probably something weird and fucked up.

Sighing, Kendall opens the bag and takes out a plastic case that's housing a seemingly normal, blue vibrator. It's a little on the big side but that doesn't matter to Kendall (he likes them big) and he swallows again, putting it back into the back. He takes the damn thing upstairs and lays it on the bed, going back to the living room to settle onto the couch beside Carlos, grabbing a beer as the movie starts.

The four of them watch Iron Man and drink all the beers; by the time the movie is over and the last beer is drank, Camille says she needs to get home and Logan takes her. He promises to be careful going home, saying that he's not drunk and Kendall believes him, but still begs him to come back to his house if he's feeling too tipsy to drive. Logan agrees, of course, and leaves with Camille, telling his friends goodbye before getting into the car and backing out, heading down the road to his girlfriend's house.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: sex, sex, sex! Okay, but no really: use of a sex toy, some biting, hair pulling, little bit of dirty talk; boys being in love.]

"That was fun," Carlos says, shoving the last empty bottle into a trash bag, moving around the end of the coffee table. "We should try and see if we can squeeze another date in, you know, before you leave." The glass bottles clatter together in the bag as Carlos moves and Kendall hums in agreement, nodding his head slowly as he puts Iron Man back into it's case, returning the DVD back onto the shelf. "You okay?"

Kendall looks up and raises his eyebrows at Carlos. "Huh?"

"Are you alright? You seem kind of off."

"I'm fine," Kendall says, rolling a shoulder as he lifts a hand, dragging it through his hair. "Just trying not to think about Boston, you know?"

Nodding slowly, Carlos lays the bag on the floor and moves over to Kendall. "I know; I don't want to think about it either," he admits, snaking his arms around Kendall's waist, burying his face against the other boy's chest. "But I can't help it sometimes, you know?"

"I know." With a heavy sigh, Kendall wraps his arms around Carlos' shoulders and rests his chin on top of the other boy's head. "So, we're going to make the best of this week, okay? Spend every moment we can together with Camille and Logan, your family and mine."

"Are you sure?"

Kendall nods and sighs again, nudging the tip of his nose along Carlos' head. "Yeah, I'm sure," he whispers, moving a hand down Carlo's back.

"Okay," Carlos mumbles, tightening his grip on Kendall's waist, snuggling closer. "Can we go lay down?"

"Yeah, sure." Smiling, Kendall kisses the top of Carlos' head and pulls away, moving a hand down the side of his face, cupping his chin lightly. He tilts Carlos' head up and leans down, brushing their lips together for a second before pulling away, dropping his hand to tangle their fingers together. "I should tell you that, uh, Logan and Camille sort of got me a gift," he says, pulling Carlos toward the stairs.

Raising a brow, Carlos tightens his grip on Kendall's fingers. "What'd they get you?"

"You had no idea about their plan?"

"Nope," Carlos replies, shaking his head slightly as they make their way up the stairs, going into Kendall's bedroom.

Kendall sighs and lifts his free hand, scrubbing it down the side of his face. "They kind of got me a sex toy," he says, biting his lip softly.

"They... sex toy?"

"Yeah, Logan gave it to me tonight."

When they get inside Kendall's room, he flicks on the light and swallows, licking across his lips as he looks at Carlos, who looks like he's about to start laughing and Kendall blushes deeply, scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck. He sighs heavily and reluctantly drops Carlos' hand before moving to the bed and snatching the bag up, taking the vibrator out. Holding it out to Carlos, Kendall drops the bag onto the ground and sits on the edge of his bed, sitting back with his hands splayed behind him, fingers spread out on the sheet.

"It's big," Carlos murmurs, looking at it through the plastic packaging.

Kendall snorts and nods his head, swallowing. "Yeah," he says, chuckling. "Logan said he got it for me so I wouldn't miss you, so I guess he thinks you've got a big cock or something."

"Are you saying that I don't?"

"No, I'm not saying that," Kendall answers, shaking his head as he blushes more. "I'm just saying - he's insinuating, you know."

Laughing, Carlos moves toward the bed and sets the toy down on the mattress. "He's seen it a few times," he admits, moving to straddle Kendall's legs, wrapping both arms around his neck, grinning. "By accident, of course. We both know how straight that boy is."

"Uh-huh, accident."

"It was," Carlos says, pressing himself against Kendall. "So, you going to use it while you're gone?"

Kendall wraps his arms around Carlos' middle and looks down at the vibrator, shrugging. "Might use it while I'm here," he says, grinning as he turns back to look at Carlos, licking across his lips slowly. "Like... right now."

"You want to use that right now?"

"Why not? It just needs some batteries and a good washing before hand," Kendall murmurs, leaning in to kiss Carlos' chin lightly. "Unless you'd rather wait for me to get to Boston and see how lonely I am without a cock up my ass... and I'm  _forced_  to finally use it on myself. You don't want me to wait that long, do you, Litos?"

Carlos tips his head back and feels Kendall's lips drag down the front of his throat. "No," he squeaks, swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing against Kendall's mouth. "I, um, ah - actually want to use it on you first.."

"Mm, dirty.." Kendall's lips brush across the base of Carlos' neck and he sucks lightly on the skin, mumbling against it, "I'll go get some batteries if you open the package and give it a wash."

"Okay, I - I can do that." The words come out in a shaky breath and Kendall chuckles, sucking on Carlos' skin again. "Kendall," Carlos whines, pushing his hips against Kendall's and lifting a hand to tangle in his hair, giving a light tug. "Gotta let go if you want to do this."

Sighing, Kendall pulls away and nods, sliding Carlos off his lap and onto the bed beside him. "I'll be right back," he says and stands, taking his jeans off on his way to the door; he tosses them over his shoulder before disappearing into the hall, heading toward the linen closet.

Kendall's gone for five minutes and, in that time, Carlos gets the vibrator out of the package; he washes it and sits on the bed with the damn thing in his hand, moving his fist up and down the shaft slowly. That's how Kendall finds him and he bites back a moan, pushing the door shut behind him before locking it and moving over to the bed, holding his hand out for the toy. When Carlos hands it to him, Kendall pulls the end off and puts the batteries inside, twisting the top back on before handing it back to Carlos with a sly grin.

"I want you to use it on me," Kendall says as he pulls his shirt off, bunching it up and tossing it across the room. "Then I want you to fuck me."

Carlos gasps and swallows hard, nodding slowly as he watches Kendall take off his boxers. "You sure?"

"Positive." Winking, Kendall kicks his boxers away and gets onto the bed, laying in the middle. "Lube's in the drawer," he says, watching as Carlos gets off the bed, dropping the toy onto the mattress.

"I know where it is," Carlos says playfully, eyes roving up and down Kendall's body as he undoes his jeans, shimmying out of them quickly. He tosses them to the side and pulls his shirt off, throwing it onto the ground before turning to open the drawer of the nightstand. With shaky fingers, Carlos grabs the lube and a condom, setting the latter down on top of the nightstand, before moving to sit on the bed next to Kendall. "Spread your legs for me."

Moaning softly at the command, Kendall nods and bends his knees, planting his feet against the mattress as he spreads his thighs. "Like this?"

"Yeah, just like that." Licking his lips, Carlos moves so that he's kneeling between Kendall's legs, popping the top on the lube quickly. "God, Kendall," he breathes, pouring some of the lube onto the vibrator, stroking it in slowly. "You're so fucking sexy."

"Mm," Kendall moans, watching Carlos carefully as he moves his hands to his thighs, stroking his fingers up and down his skin slowly. "Could say the exact same thing about you."

Carlos blushes and moves one hand to the back of Kendall's thigh, pushing that leg back toward his chest. "You ready?"

" _God_  yes."

"Okay." Carlos huffs and moves the vibrator down, pressing the tip against Kendall's entrance, barely running it around the rim before pushing it against the muscle. As he pushes the vibrator past that first ring of muscle, Carlos runs his hand up and down the back of Kendall's leg, hooking it underneath his knee to keep it bent, sliding the toy in a little further. Half the length is inside before Kendall starts to pant and whine, contorting and twisting on the bed, his hands going to the sheets, fingers tangling in it. "You alright?" Carlos asks, keeping the toy still.

Kendall grits his teeth together and takes in a sharp breath. "Yeah," he groans, nodding slowly, "I'm good. Slow - ah - slow, please.."

Swallowing thickly, Carlos nods his head and leans down a bit, kissing Kendall's shin as he slips the vibrator in the rest of the way. Kendall lets out a loud moan when the entire length is inside and he tips his head back against the pillow, arching his back slightly before pushing back against Carlos' hand, whining low in his throat.

"Fuck," he huffs, moving one hand to Carlos', intertwining their fingers. " _Christ_ , s'been a while."

"Hasn't been that long," Carlos murmurs, lips brushing along Kendall's shin slowly. "Want me to keep going slow?"

There's a moment of silence before Kendall shakes his head and lets out a loud moan. "No, fuck.. no. Want you to fuck me with it."

"You sure? I don't want to hurt you.."

"Not gonna -" Kendall gasps when Carlos starts moving the toy slowly, twisting it slightly. " - gonna hurt me," he finishes.

As he twists the vibrator, Carlos pushes it in all the way and his fingertips press against Kendall's skin; he nods his head slowly and leans up, biting at his boyfriend's knee lightly, squeezing his hand as he pulls the toy out completely. He nearly grins when Kendall makes a disappointed noise and he runs the tip around his rim, just barely pushing it in before slipping the entire length back in, leaving open-mouthed kissing along Kendall's knee and the top of his skin.

Carlos bites at Kendall's skin as he keeps moving the toy in and at out a reasonable pace, going slow to keep himself from hurting Kendall. He keeps the pace up until the other boy whines and bows his back, pushing against the toy and Carlos' hand, silently begging for more and Carlos gives it to him. Sitting up carefully, Carlos drops his and Kendall's hands onto the mattress as he pulls the toy out slowly before pushing it in quickly, snapping his wrist as he does. Kendall moans loudly at the motion and Carlos licks his lips slowly, twisting and pulling the vibrator out before pushing it back in, eyes roaming up and down his boyfriend's body.

"Ready for my cock yet?" Carlos asks, turning the dial onto the lowest setting, listening to Kendall's staggered breathing. "Or you want me to fuck you some more with this until you're begging for my cock? Begging to come with me buried deep inside you."

Lifting his hips, Kendall pushes them back against Carlos' hand and bites his lip, mumbling around it, "Turn it up on high."

"High, huh?" Chuckling quietly, Carlos twists the dial until he can't turn it anymore, listening to the buzzing noise. "Seems pretty powerful."

"Ho - holy  _fuck_ ," Kendall gasps, twisting his hips slightly before dipping them down toward the bed. "God, that... that f-feels fucking amazing."

The vibrator buzzes deep inside Kendall for a moment before Carlos pulls it out, dragging the tip up and down the crease of his ass before turning it down on low again. He moves the toy up and over Kendall's balls slowly, grinning at the high keening noise that comes from his throat, followed by a string of pathetic whimpers, Carlos' name attached to each and every one of them.

"Hmm?" Carlos hums, bringing the vibrator back down before sliding it into Kendall again, turning it on high once more. "Had enough yet?"

Kendall gasps and tilts his head back, exposing his throat as he groans loudly. "Yeah, want -  _want you_ ," he pants before whining at the loss as Carlos pulls the vibrator out slowly, his entire body shaking even after it's pulled out. "Please, Litos."

"Alright, alright." Laughing, Carlos tosses the vibrator onto a pile of dirty clothes next to the bed before leaning down to kiss across Kendall's stomach, biting and sucking on his hipbone. He pulls away when Kendall starts to moan and moves off the bed, pushing his boxers down and kicking them away, grabbing the condom wrapper. "I hope you get your own room," he mumbles, opening the foil packet before pulling the condom out, rolling it down over his cock as he looks at Kendall, biting his lower lip.

"Why?" Kendall huffs, screwing his eyes shut as he moves a hand down, touching his cock.

When the condom's on all the way and snug at the bottom, Carlos gets back on the bed. "Because I definitely want to watch you fuck yourself with that toy," he murmurs, spreading Kendall's legs wider as he moves forward, teasing his entrance with the head of his cock. "Call you on Skype and we could fool around on cam, if you want."

"Oh, Christ."

"You want that?" Carlos whispers, pressing his cock inside Kendall slowly, grunting at the tight heat. "Wanna let me watch you fuck yourself with that toy, hmm? While I stroke my cock, wishing it was me using that toy on you, twisting it in and out slowly, listening to you come undone.."

Biting down on his lip, Kendall nods his head and wraps a leg around Carlos' hip. "Yeah," he croaks, rolling his lip between his teeth.

"God.. you're so  _fucking perfect_ , Kendall." With a low groan, Carlos slides fully into Kendall and leans over his body, pressing a hand against the headboard, wrapping his fingers around it. He keeps still for a moment before moving his hips slowly, pulling his cock out before snapping forward, slamming into Kendall roughly, gasping. "I love you - _ngh_  - so goddamn much, you have no idea."

"Yeah," Kendall moans, moving his hands to Carlos' shoulders, digging his nails in, "I have an - ah - idea of how much.."

Carlos leans down and presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes as he pushes against Kendall. "Still fucking tight," he groans.

"Shut up and fuck me."

"Bossy," Carlos laughs, leaning down to kiss Kendall softly, biting at his lower lip before pulling away. "But," he says, pulling his cock out before thrusting forward and moaning out, "your wish is my command." Chuckling, Carlos straightens up and moves both hands to Kendall's hips, gripping them tightly as he starts fucking him quickly, snapping his hips forward, growling when Kendall starts moaning his name, stringing it along with curse words and soft ' _oh god_ 's.

Swallowing thickly, Carlos thrusts into Kendall and rotates his hips, pressing them against his boyfriend's ass, grunting his name as he moves a hand up Kendall's side, nails dragging up his skin. He takes one of the other boy's nipples between his fingers and rolls it, pinching it slightly as he starts moving his hips, fucking into him nice and slow. When Kendall starts to keen and pant harder, Carlos starts to fuck him harder, alternating between pinching his nipple and rubbing it, working the pad of his thumb along the circle of skin slowly.

"Fuck. me.  _harder_."

The command makes Carlos growl and he licks his lips, moving both hands down to Kendall's thighs, gripping them tightly as he obeys; his hips snap back and forth, slapping against Kendall's ass roughly, causing him to curse loudly. His hands go to Carlos' shoulders, his chest, roaming over every inch he can touch, nails scraping along his skin slowly, digging in a few times to make the other boy bleed. Neither of them pay attention to the blood or the slight pain and Carlos keeps fucking Kendall roughly, hunching over as sweat drips down his neck and between his shoulders, his rhythm slowing.

After a few more thrusts, Carlos gasps loudly and moves a hand up, pressing it against Kendall's collarbone as he slams his hips forward, stilling them. He pants heavily, his entire body shuddering as he gets closer to coming, that fire coiling up and settling low in the pit of his stomach, causing him to moan Kendall's name out as he pulls out slowly before thrusting back in. Burying himself deep inside of Kendall, Carlos leans down and presses his sweaty forehead to his boyfriend's shoulder, biting down on the skin of his collarbone as he thrusts in one more time, moaning loudly as he comes.

Carlos' hips stutter forward, breath catching in his throat as he comes, his orgasm hitting him like a freight train before he comes down from it; his breath starts coming in short, harsh pants and his hips still, arms and legs shaking. Swallowing thickly, Carlos turns and kisses across Kendall's neck, biting and sucking on a few spots as he breathes heavily against his skin, nearly whining when he feels Kendall's hands move down his back, fingertips skirting across the top of his ass.

"Carlos," Kendall moans, shifting underneath his boyfriend, biting his lip. "Gotta... gotta let me come. Make me come, please."

Huffing, Carlos pushes himself up and moves a hand down, languidly stroking Kendall's cock. "I don't know," he says, grinning lazily.

"Why don't you - ah, fuck - know? You c-c-came, why can't I?"

"Cause I like making you beg," Carlos says, licking his lips as he thumbs across the head of Kendall's cock, dragging it down the underside of the shaft slowly, grinning more. "So, I want you to beg me a little more and then maybe I'll let you come."

Kendall swallows hard and lifts his hips, whining when Carlos pulls out and pushes them down against the mattress. "Please, Carlos... fuck, you're teasing me and I just - " he pauses and huffs, running a hand along Carlos' chest as he continues, " - just wanna come, come on. I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Carlos repeats, stroking a little faster.

"Yeah - _Christ_  - anything. You name it, I'll - I'll do it. Just, god,  _please_."

Humming, Carlos moves a hand down and rolls Kendall's balls slowly. "You're so pretty when you beg."

A whimper leaves Kendall's throat and he swallows, rolling his hips up. "I'm pretty when I do a lot of things," he says, nearly moaning the words out.

"Yeah?" Carlos asks, stroking his cock a little faster. "Like what?"

"Like when I'm suh- _sucking_  your cock."

"You're right; you are _very_  pretty when you do that." Carlos hums and grins, twisting his wrist as he strokes Kendall quickly, popping the bottle on the lube before pouring some over the head. "Tell me you want to come, baby."

Growling in frustration, Kendall moves his hips forward and whimpers. "I want to come, Carlos. Please," he says, voice broken.

Carlos hesitates for a moment and just watches the way Kendall falls on the bed, his hips twisting and his body contorting against the mattress; he watches him bite his lower lip and tug it into his mouth, sucking on it before letting it go. Taking in a deep breath, Carlos starts stroking Kendall faster, squeezing around the base before dragging his hand up, applying the same amount of pressure until he gets to the head.

As he strokes Kendall's cock, Carlos leans down and kisses across his chest, nipping at his skin lightly as he moves his hand back down, rolling his boyfriend's balls between his fingers again. He licks a stripe down the middle of Kendall's stomach and bites the spot just above his cock, growling against his skin as he strokes him quickly, thumbing across the head each time he goes up. The lube makes it hard to keep hold of Kendall but Carlos manages to keep his grip, tightening it a little when he hears the other boy gasp his name, tacking 'oh fuck' onto it before his orgasm hits.

Kendall comes with a loud grunt and he gets it all over himself and Carlos; paints the other boy's chest with his come as he falls back onto the bed, huffing and panting harshly, groaning Carlos' name quietly. He lets out a small whine when Carlos' hand pulls away and he licks his lips, looking down at his boyfriend, vision unfocused as his gaze settles on Carlos' face. Grinning lazily, Kendall lets his eyes slide shut as he huffs, moving a hand to his hair, dragging his fingers through it as he comes down from his post-orgasm high.

While Kendall calms down, Carlos cleans his chest and stomach up, sucking on a few spots where come landed, grinning when the other boy groans in response to his actions. He gets most of the come cleaned up before he sits on his heels, taking the condom off before tying it and tossing it onto the ground, sighing heavily. Carlos looks down at Kendall and bites his lip, grinning slightly as he moves to lay next to his boyfriend, running a hand down the middle of his chest, listening to his breathing.

"You okay?" Carlos asks, nudging the tip of his nose against Kendall's shoulder.

Groaning, Kendall nods and turns his head, laying it against Carlos'. "Yeah, m'good."

"Good." Chuckling, Carlos leans in and kisses Kendall softly, letting his lips linger before pulling away. "I should get up and get a towel to clean us up with, huh? Don't wanna wake up stuck together," he says, moving his hand across Kendall's chest slowly.

"Yeah," Kendall agrees, nodding slowly. "Towel, clean up. Good."

Carlos rolls his eyes playfully and kisses the tip of Kendall's nose before moving to stand, nearly falling over as he makes his way to the bathroom. He flips the lights on when he gets inside and grabs a towel from the rack, turning the sink on as he yawns, running the fabric underneath the stream, getting a corner wet. Once it's soaked enough, Carlos turns the sink off and goes back into the bedroom, flipping the light switch off before moving to the bed, sitting down on the edge.

Licking his lips, Carlos moves the wet end of the towel across Kendall's chest. "You still alive?"

"Huh?" Kendall asks, opening his eyes before blinking them a few times. "M'alive, why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno." Carlos rolls a shoulder and cleans Kendall's stomach up before drying it off, trying not to brush the fabric against Kendall's cock. Once Kendall is cleaned and dried, Carlos wipes his own hands and chest up with the towel, drying himself off and tossing the fabric onto the floor before laying next to his boyfriend. He fits his body against Kendall's side and wraps an arm around his waist, kissing his shoulder lightly, smiling against his skin. "I love you," he whispers, sighing contentedly.

Kendall smiles and kisses the top of Carlos' head. "I love you too," he replies, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm going to miss you.."

"Carlos," Kendall warns, sighing heavily.

"What?" Carlos mutters, pouting as he kisses Kendall's bicep. "You leave in a week, I'm sorry for getting all sentimental and cheesy."

Turning over onto his side, Kendall cups Carlos' cheek and kisses him slowly. "I'll miss you too," he says, when he eases back.

"But... we'll text all the time and call each other." The statement sounds more like a question and Kendall nods. "And Skype," Carlos adds, nodding his head as he moves a hand to touch Kendall's side, resting it just underneath his ribs. "And you'll be back for Christmas."

"And, if I'm not, I'll buy you a plane ticket."

Carlos' nose wrinkles and then he smiles. "To Boston?"

"To Boston," Kendall confirms, smiling.

"To meet all of your fancy, musically talented friends that are probably way too good for me?"

Rolling his eyes, Kendall nods and kisses Carlos' nose. "They won't be too good for you."

"They won't like me."

"Then I won't like them." With a soft smile, Kendall brushes his lips along the slope of Carlos' nose.

Carlos shivers and closes his eyes, smiling as he presses himself close to Kendall, only pouting slightly when the other boy pulls away to grab his blanket, draping it over both of them. He pulls the top over their heads and Carlos giggles quietly, tangling his legs with Kendall's as he yawns, holding onto his boyfriend as they lay underneath the blanket in total silence. The hand on Carlos' face moves down the side of his neck and Kendall hums quietly, dragging his thumb across his boyfriend's stubble, swallowing thickly.

"Hey," Kendall says, nudging his nose against Carlos'.

"Whaddaya want."

Kendall laughs and pulls Carlos closer. "I love you."

"Already said that," Carlos grumbles, leaning his head down to bury his face against Kendall's neck.

"I know, but I wanted to say it again."

Nodding, Carlos yawns and nuzzles Kendall's neck slowly. "Love you too," he mutters sleepily.

"Go to bed," Kendall says, turning to kiss Carlos' temple, laying their heads together as he gets comfortable.

It doesn't take Carlos long to fall asleep and Kendall listens to him snore lightly, hot breath falling against his skin. He shivers a few times, shifts to get comfortable, but doesn't move much more than that, in fear of waking Carlos when he's so comfortable and peaceful. Sighing to himself, Kendall moves a hand up and down Carlos' back and listens to him sleep, eventually letting his own eyes slide shut and, before he knows it, he's out like a light himself.

That night, all Kendall dreams about is leaving Carlos all alone.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: underage drinking, reference to sex marathons, smoking, arguing, slow, passionate sex.]

_[Sunday]_

It's late in the afternoon when Kendall and Carlos wake up, twisted in the sheets with their limbs tangled, the house empty and quiet around them. They decide, when they finally get out of bed, to clean the house and erase any and all evidence that they were drinking the night before. Once the house is clean and in perfect condition, Kendall coaxes Carlos into taking a long shower together; the water is running cold by the time they get out but neither of them seem to notice, both being completely wrapped up in one another.

Carlos has just pulled on a pair of jeans when his phone goes off and he answers it, speaking quietly to the person on the other line. As he talks, Carlos keeps an eye on Kendall and smiles, nodding his head to whatever the other person is saying before hanging up. He shoves the phone into his pocket and walks forward, wrapping both arms around Kendall's waist, pressing their bare chests together. "That was my mom," he says, leaning in to kiss the spot just above Kendall's collarbone. "She wants you to come over for dinner."

"Dinner at the Garcia house? Count me in." Kendall laughs an wraps an arm around Carlos' shoulders, brushing his lips along the top of his boyfriend's head, shivering when he feels teeth drag across his collarbone. "When does she expect us there?"

"Said we can come over now," Carlos murmurs, punctuating each word with a kiss.

Closing his eyes, Kendall nods and breathes deeply through his nose. "Then what are we waiting for?"

"Still half naked."

"I wouldn't be," Kendall says, running a hand down Carlos' back, "if  _someone_  would let me put a shirt on."

Grinning, Carlos bites at Kendall's shoulder and pulls away. "I like you better without a shirt," he says, winking as he steps back.

"Oh, yeah, I know - and I'm sure your parents would really appreciate it if I came over to their house without a shirt on."

"Worse things have happened."

"Like what?" Kendall asks, arching a brow as he bends to pick up a shirt off the floor.

Carlos laughs and follows Kendall's lead, picking up his tank top. "Logan once came over without pants on," he says, pulling the thin material over his head before adjusting it, making a small noise when the cotton runs across his nipples. "Another friend came over completely naked."

"Wow, your friends.." Shaking his head, Kendall pulls a shirt on and leans down to kiss Carlos softly. "Do your parents know that I'm leaving?"

"Mhm, that's why my mom wants you to come over."

"That's nice," Kendall says, smiling brightly at Carlos before turning to grab his phone and wallet, stuffing them into his pockets.

Silence falls between them and Kendall swallows thickly, moving around the room to look for a pair of socks; when he finds one, he slips them on and moves toward the door, sliding a hand across the small of Carlos' back. His hand brushes across Carlos' before dropping away and Kendall disappears into the hallway, making his way to the stairs. After a moment, Carlos follows, running a hand through his hair and sighing heavily, chewing on his lower lip nervously, taking the stairs two at a time.

They pull their shoes on quietly and when Kendall's done, he watches Carlos with a soft smile, licking his lips slowly. "Your car or mine?"

"Huh?" Carlos asks, straightening up after tying his laces.

"Your car," Kendall says, grinning, "or mine."

"Well, your car is behind mine."

Kendall nods and grabs his keys, twirling the ring around on his finger. "Ready to go?"

"Ready." Smiling softly, Carlos moves forward and takes Kendall's hand in his own, lacing their fingers together.

Taking a deep breath through his nose, Kendall squeezes Carlos' hand and opens the door, letting his boyfriend step out onto the porch before following him. He shuts and locks the door behind him, swiping his thumb along the back of Carlos' as they step off the porch and head toward the car, neither of them saying anything. When they get to the car, Kendall opens the door for the other boy and smiles at him as he gets in, shutting the door behind him before jogging around and getting into the driver's side.

Once Kendall's inside, he starts the engine and puts his seat belt on, glancing in the rear view before backing out of the driveway. He puts the car in drive and starts heading down the street, holding his hand out for Carlos and smiling when he feels warm, rough skin sliding against his own. Their fingers tangle together as Kendall drives and he hums contentedly, thumbing across the side of Carlos' wrist slowly until they get to his house.

Kendall parks, shuts the car off, and brings Carlos' hand to his mouth, kissing each knuckle lightly before dropping their hands again, giving his boyfriend a small smile. He leans in and brushes their lips together before pulling away, sliding his hand out of Carlos' before getting out of the car; he adjusts his shirt and his jeans as he makes his way to the front, joining Carlos once again.

"Feels like I'm meeting your parents for the first time all over again," Kendall mumbles as they make their way up the porch and to the front door; Carlos laughs at him and squeezes his hand lightly, nudging his shoulder against Kendall's bicep. "Is it weird that I'm nervous?"

Laughing again, Carlos shakes his head and looks up at Kendall. "No, not weird at all," he answers, smiling.

"Right. It's just dinner."

"Just dinner," Carlos repeats as he opens the door, pulling Kendall inside. "Ma!"

When they're inside, Kendall shuts the door and runs a hand through his hair, shuffling closer to Carlos. His stomach is twisting, his nerves getting the best of him and he can't figure out why; he's been around Carlos' parents a dozen times and he's never been nervous then. So why does he feel like he could throw up on their welcome rug at any moment?

"Carlos?" Sylvia calls out and Kendall sees her emerge from the kitchen a second later. "And Kendall! Good to see you," she says, smiling brightly.

"It's good to see you too, Mrs. Garcia."

Sylvia waves a hand dismissively and moves closer. "How many times have I told you? Call me Sylvia," she says, and then her arms are wrapped around Kendall and it's like all his nerves fade away; he wraps his arms around her and chuckles, nodding slowly.

"Yes ma'am," he says, smiling when they pull away. "Something smells good."

"Yeah," Carlos agrees, licking his lips slowly. "What are you making?"

"Enchiladas."

Kendall makes a happy noise at the sound of that and Carlos laughs at him. "What? I love enchiladas."

"Dude, who doesn't?" Carlos elbows him in the ribs and sticks his tongue out before turning back to his mom. "Do you need help with anything?"

"Nope, but you two can join me in the kitchen." With a smile, Sylvia turns and walks back to the kitchen; the boys follow her and Kendall wraps his pinkie around Carlos', tugging it a little as they make their way to the kitchen counter. "So, Kendall," Sylvia starts, walking to the stove to stir something, before turning back to the boys, "are you excited about starting college?"

Shrugging, Kendall takes a seat next to Carlos and folds his hands on top of the counter. "I guess so. I'm not too excited about leaving Minnesota and I'm definitely not going to be happy about missing Carlos, but... we've got that worked out," he says, smiling at Carlos.

"So he tells me," Sylvia says, coming over to lean against the counter. "You two will make it, though; I can tell."

"Thanks," Kendall says, turning pink.

"Mom," Carlos whines, lifting his brows. "Could you not embarrass my boyfriend?"

Sylvia laughs and nods her head, patting Kendall's hands. "Sorry, sweetheart."

"Nah, it's cool. I'm not embarrassed at all."

"Sure you aren't." Chuckling, Carlos wraps an arm around Kendall's shoulders and kisses the side of his head.

Kendall wrinkles his nose and laughs. "I'm not, believe me. I've had worse things said to me."

"Dinner will be done in about an hour," Sylvia says, patting Kendall's hand again before moving away. "You two are welcome to stay in here and talk to me, or you guys can see what Alex is up to."

"Where's dad?"

"Your dad is in his office," Sylvia says, nodding toward the kitchen door, before turning back to the stove.

Carlos slides off his stool and pokes Kendall's side lightly. "Wanna go bug my dad about his work?"

"Bug your dad?" Kendall frowns and slides off the stool, slipping his hands into his pockets. "I don't want to go in there if he's working."

"He shouldn't be; he's probably listening to the game."

Biting his lip, Kendall nods and follows Carlos out of the kitchen, moving into the foyer with him. "You're sure he won't mind?"

"Nah," Carlos says, shaking his head as he moves to a room down the hall, "he'll love some company."

"Okay." Shrugging, Kendall leans against Carlos a little while he knocks on the door lightly, pushing it open as he does. He nearly falls over when Carlos pulls away but he manages to catch himself, grumbling under his breath as he moves into the room.

Miguel is sitting at his desk with earphones in, his forehead furrowed slightly. "Dad?" Carlos asks, stepping forward to tap his father's shoulder, jumping back when he turns around in his chair, pulling the earphones out. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"I think I scared you, by the looks of it." Miguel laughs and looks at Kendall, smiling broadly. "Hey, Kendall. How're you doing?"

"Good, thanks. How are you doing?"

Shrugging, Miguel puts the earphones down and sits up in his chair. "I'm alright, enjoying my day off with my family."

"And Kendall," Carlos points out, looking up at Kendall with a grin.

"Well I thought he fell into the 'family' category."

Kendall turns pink and scrubs a hand down the side of his neck, chuckling. "Not family yet, sir."

"Ah, yet," Miguel says, holding a finger up and smiling. "That's the key word in that sentence."

" _Ay dios mio_!" Carlos shouts, biting at the fuller part of his lip as he blushes. "Could you two stop talking about that?"

Blinking rapidly, Kendall stares at Carlos with his mouth open. "Did you just - what did you say?"

"Nothing, not important."

"He said oh my god," Miguel says, grinning, "but dramatically."

"Oh," Kendall says, licking his lips and grinning slowly. "Sounded pretty hot to me."

"I swear to god," Carlos grumbles, biting at the edge of his lip as he walks forward, going through the pieces of paper on his dad's desk. "I don't need you saying that in front of my father, Kendall."

Rolling a shoulder, Kendall leans against the wall and grins more. "I just said it sounded hot, okay? And it does."

"He doesn't really speak Spanish that often, not unless he's excited or embarrassed." Carlos' dad laughs and stands up, swatting his son's hand when he picks up a manilla folder. "That's official police business," he says, taking the folder away.

"I just wanted to look," Carlos says, pouting as he turns to look at Kendall, who's leaning against the wall with a big grin on his face. "What are you smiling at?"

Kendall lifts his brows and pushes his lips out a little before answering, "Nothing, just listening to you and your dad talk, that's all."

"Asshole."

"Hey," Miguel says, pointing at Carlos after putting the folder away. "Watch your language."

"Sorry, Papi."

" _Papi_ ," Kendall repeats, laughing when Carlos throws a death glare his way. "What? It's fucking adorable that you call your dad that, okay?"

Carlos narrows his eyes and goes over to Kendall, poking him in the stomach. "It's not adorable at all; it's manly. It's what manly men call their fathers," he says, giving Kendall's stomach two more pokes, laughing.

"Cut it out you two." Miguel comes over and pats Carlos' shoulder. "You can call me Papi until you're eighty, I don't care," he says, giving his son a hug before pulling away, kissing the top of his head.

"Gross, daddy!" Carlos whines playfully, wrinkling his nose at his dad.

Kendall giggles and Carlos starts tickling his sides. "St - stop, Carlos," he giggles out, trying to push his boyfriend's hands away, squirming against his touch.

"Nope, not until you stop laughing at me."

"I'll - ah, c'mon! - stop, I p - p - promise, just - stop, please?"

Grinning, Carlos stops and presses his hands flat against Kendall's stomach. "Thank you," he whispers as he leans up, kissing Kendall softly.

" _Ay dios mio_ ," Kendall grumbles, making a face when Carlos and his dad laugh at him, his cheeks turning pink. "What?"

"You're adorable," is all Carlos says before he kisses Kendall again and pulls away, taking one of his hands, locking their fingers together. "Come on, let's go back in the kitchen with my mom, okay?"

"Alright, I guess so." Taking a deep breath, Kendall pushes himself off the wall and lets Carlos lead him out of the room and back into the kitchen, wrapping both arms around his boyfriend once he's seated on a stool on the counter. He rests his chin on Carlos' shoulder and holds him tightly, humming contentedly as they watch Sylvia cook, smiling when she starts singing.

An hour later, they're eating dinner and talking about what Kendall's going to do when he goes to Boston; he tells Carlos' family that he wants to become a performer and they wish him luck, which makes him blush. He eats three plates of food and downs five beers in the course of one dinner, saving room for some of Sylvia's apple pie, which is the best damn thing he's ever had in his life.

After dinner, the adults sit around the living room, sharing stories and drinking more; Sylvia allows Carlos and Kendall to have a margarita and they giggle while they sit on the floor, trying not to spill any of their drinks. They all drink and talk until Sylvia takes Miguel upstairs, but not before hugging Kendall and making him promise to come back and see them before he leaves. Kendall, of course, promises to come see them before he leaves and when he comes back for Christmas break and he falls onto the couch with Carlos once they're upstairs.

Carlos and Kendall fall asleep on the couch and, by the morning, Kendall wakes up on the floor with his face pressed against the carpet and Carlos laying behind him, his chest pressed against Kendall's back. He smiles and snuggles closer, lacing their fingers together as he yawns, letting his eyes slide shut before going to sleep again.

**x x**

_[Monday]_

After eating breakfast with the Garcia family, Kendall takes Carlos back to his house to pick up his car and says goodbye to him, making him promise to come over later. It's only after Carlos swears up and down (that he'll come back), that Kendall lets him go with a kiss, watching his car disappear down the street before going inside and collapsing on the couch. He sleeps for half an hour before someone comes in and he sits up slowly, putting his hands up in a weak defense, blushing when he hears his mother laugh at him.

Jennifer gets Kendall to agree to sleep in his own bed and he's out not long after his head falls onto the pillow; he stays asleep until early in the afternoon and he wakes up to the smell of food, his stomach growling loudly. After yawning and stretching on his bed, Kendall gets up and staggers downstairs, going into the kitchen and moaning at the smell that fills the room.

"Afternoon," his mother greets him, holding out a cup of coffee.

"Saint, you are." Kendall gives her a grateful smile and takes the coffee, sipping on it. "Had too many beers and then a margarita last night."

Going back to the stove, Jennifer turns the burner off. "Mrs. Garcia gave you alcohol?"

"Well," he says, scrunching his face up before taking another long sip of coffee. "We kind of badgered her into it."

"Ah, well." Jennifer laughs and puts the eggs on two plates, taking both of them to the table. "Sit down and eat something," she says, pointing to a chair and smiling when Kendall salutes her before dropping down into it, sighing. "So, you had a good time?"

"Mhm, great time." Setting his coffee down, Kendall grabs a fork and starts eating his eggs, chewing happily. "How was your shift at the hospital?"

Jennifer shrugs and grabs a plate of toast, bringing it to the table with her own cup of coffee. "I saw some pretty bad things, but that's to be expected at a big hospital, huh?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Jennifer says, waving a hand dismissively. "So, Friday is the big day."

Swallowing thickly, Kendall nods and grabs his cup, downing half of his coffee. "Yep," he says, going back in for more eggs.

"Have you sent out your boxes yet?"

"Truck comes tomorrow," Kendall answers, grabbing a piece of toast before biting into it. "They'll get there before me, but only by like, a day."

"That's good," Jennifer says, her voice low and sad.

The two of them eat in silence for a while and Kendall puts his dirty dishes away when he's done, stretching as he stares out across the backyard, chewing on his lower lip nervously. He hears a chair scrape across the floor and he turns, watching his mother move to the sink before coming toward him, putting both of her hands on either side of his face, smiling sadly.

"I'm proud of you," she says, voice breaking.

Kendall swallows and wraps his arms around his mother, hugging her tightly. "I know."

"Make something of yourself, okay? Show them that you can do anything you want to."

"I will, ma," Kendall says, holding his mom a little tighter. "I should, um, go shower. Carlos is coming by later."

Jennifer nods her head and pulls away, wiping her eyes as she chuckles. "I'm going out with your father tonight, but we will spend time together before you leave, okay? I promise; I'll take you anywhere you wanna go and we'll go do anything."

"You don't need to do that."

"I  _want_ to," Jennifer says, her smile faltering a little. "Go shower and get ready to see your boyfriend."

Smiling, Kendall nods and kisses his mom's cheek before going back upstairs, tearing his clothes off before he gets into his room. He tosses his clothing on the floor and moves to the bathroom, turning the light on as he makes his way toward the shower, turning the knobs on quickly. Once the water is at the right temperature, he steps into the tub and drops his head, letting the stream of water cascade down over his hair, drops of water rolling down onto his face.

Kendall spends over an hour in the shower and his skin is wrinkled when he gets out, but he pays no attention to it as he wraps a towel around his waist and moves out into his room, sitting on the edge of his bed. He runs a hand through his hair and then falls back across the middle of his bed, staying like that until his phone buzzes on the floor. When he hears the noise, Kendall sits up and reaches over to grab his phone, unlocking it and reading a text from Carlos that says he got off early and that he's coming over sooner.

After texting back, Kendall puts a pair of boxers on and lays on his bed, waiting for Carlos; as he waits, he listens to music and hums, tapping his fingers against his stomach. That's how Carlos finds him: sprawled out on the mattress with earphones in and his hands drumming on his lower abdomen, fingers skirting along the top of his boxers.

Carlos joins Kendall on the bed and they kiss for a while, until Jennifer comes up and tells them that she's leaving; once she's gone, Kendall gets Carlos naked and they have sex on every surface in his room. Kendall pins Carlos down against the mattress and fucks him there; Carlos fucks Kendall while he's sitting on the dresser, legs wrapped around his waist and head thrown back. Once they've had sex on everything in Kendall's room, they move to the other parts of the house: the living room, kitchen, laundry room, the stairs, and the upstairs hall way.

Once they've worn themselves out, Kendall takes Carlos back to his room and they lay in bed, limbs tangled and their foreheads pressed together. It doesn't take long for them to fall asleep and Kendall keeps Carlos close throughout the night, all bad dreams kept at bay.

**x x**

_[Tuesday]_

When Kendall wakes up the next morning, he's sore everywhere and the bed is empty beside him; he frowns when he notices that Carlos isn't there and almost freaks out, trying to figure out where he is, before realizing that he's at work. Sighing heavily, Kendall sits up and scrubs a hand down his face, pushing the blankets off his legs as he stands up and grabs a pair of jeans, pulling them on quickly. He's about to bend and get a shirt when he hears the doorbell and he freezes, looking toward the clock quickly.

A curse leaves Kendall's mouth when he realizes the time and he grabs a shirt, tugging it over his head quickly as he makes his way out of the room and into the hall. He goes down the stairs quickly and almost slips off the bottom one before running over to the door, panting as he opens it, smiling politely at the man standing on the porch. The man says that he's from the delivery company Kendall called to haul his stuff away and he motions for him to come in, nodding at the three other men that come in behind him; once they're all inside, Kendall shuts the door and directs them upstairs and into the guest room where all of his stuff is.

It takes nearly an hour for the delivery guys to put all of Kendall's things into the truck and they verify the address before leaving, assuring Kendall that his things will be in Boston the day before he gets there. He waves to the guys and watches them leave before going back inside, leaning his head against the glass window of the door, sighing heavily. When he pushes away from the door, Kendall goes back upstairs and goes back to bed, falling face first onto the bed and staying like that until the early evening.

Camille and Logan wake Kendall up by poking him in the back and he grumbles, telling them to go away as he rolls over onto his side, nearly rolling off the edge of the mattress. He stops himself from falling and curses loudly, blinking at his best friends, who are standing next to the bed with their hands over their mouths, giggling quietly at him.

"You okay?" Camille asks, and Kendall nods his head slowly, moving to sit on the middle of the bed. "Carlos will be here soon."

Kendall smiles when he hears Carlos' name and nods, yawning quietly. "Good, gotta see my Litos."

"So, I saw the movers today."

"Mhm, they're shipping my stuff to Boston," Kendall explains, rolling his neck back and forth.

Chuckling, Logan moves to sit on the bed beside Kendall. "Only a few more days, man."

"Yeah, I leave Friday. Supposed to be in Boston on Saturday some time, I dunno."

"This is so surreal," Camille says, frowning as she sits in front of Kendall, laughing when he pulls her close. "You're going to call me when you get there, right? So I know that you didn't die or anything like that."

Kendall nods his head and leans it against Camille's. "You'll be the fourth person I call, yes."

"Who are the other three?"

"Mom, dad, Carlos."

Camille nods and wraps her arms around Kendall's neck. "Then me and Logan," she adds, laughing softly.

"Yes, you guys are after Carlos."

"Better be," Logan says, lightly punching Kendall's arm. "Or else I'll come to Boston and kick your ass."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall pulls Logan into a hug and laughs when Camille complains about being squished. "Sorry," he mutters, letting go of Logan before wrapping his arms back around Camille, holding her close; out of everyone - besides Carlos - she's the one Kendall is going to miss the most. He doesn't know how he's going to live without seeing her every day and hearing her laugh, the thought making him tear up.

Another few minutes of silence pass over them and Kendall chews on the inside of his lip. "You guys will have to come see me when I'm all settled in Boston and Camille can afford to skip a few days of school," he says, running his fingers through Camille's hair, pulling her curls lightly.

"Already have a trip planned," Logan admits, grinning and flashing his dimples. "Gotta see your new place and your school."

"And your friends." Camille mumbles the words and lays her head against Kendall's chest. "They have to be  _fabulous_ ," she says, nodding.

Kendall laughs and shakes his head, pulling one of her curls again. "I'm sure they will be."

The three of them fall into another comfortable silence and Kendall idly plays with Camille's hair, smiling when Logan joins him; their fingers bump together when they go for the same curl and Kendall flicks Logan's hand, laughing quietly. They do that for a while and laugh occasionally until the door opens and Carlos comes in, making a disgusted noise at the sight of Logan, Kendall, and Camille on the bed; Kendall smirks at the noise and motions for him to come over and join the pile.

"I'm sorry I missed the orgy," Carlos says, as he pulls his hoodie off, tossing it onto the floor behind him as he moves to the bed.

"Technically," Logan starts, moving to lay across the end of the bed, "an orgy consists of more than four people."

Carlos makes a face and climbs onto the mattress beside Kendall and Camille. "Smart ass," he grumbles; Logan smiles proudly, like it's a compliment.

"Hey now; there will be no arguing in this cuddle pile, okay?" Smirking, Kendall leans over and kisses Carlos softly.

"Why are we having a cuddle pile?" Logan asks, his hand moving to touch Camille's.

Shrugging, Kendall turns to look at Logan, twitching when Carlos kisses the side of his neck. "I dunno, it's better than sitting around, doing nothing."

"Could go see Gustavo," Carlos says, stretching an arm across the mattress behind Kendall, poking the middle of Logan's forehead, laughing.

Logan moves up a little and bites at Carlos' fingertip. "Bitch," he says, sticking his tongue out when Carlos flips him off. "But, Gustavo's sounds like a good idea. I know he wanted to see you before you left."

"Someone's going to have to peel Camille off my body," Kendall says, poking her side lightly. "Unless she's awake."

"I'm awake, jackass," she mumbles as she pulls away and stands next to the bed, stretching. "Gustavo's it is, then."

Everyone leaves the room while Kendall gets dressed and he joins his friends outside on the porch, all of them piling into Carlos' car before leaving to go over to Gustavo's house. When they get there, Kendall gets out of the car first and runs up the porch steps, knocking on the door loudly, jumping up and down as he waits for Gustavo to answer the door, grinning broadly when he does.

"What's up?"

"Yo, Kendall!" Gustavo laughs and comes forward, hugging Kendall before bringing him inside, ushering every one else in, shutting the door behind them. "What are you guys doing here?"

Carlos slides up behind Kendall and slides his arms around his waist. "Kendall leaves on Friday and we know how attached you are to this face," he says and laughs, lifting a hand to pat Kendall's cheek.

"Friday, really?"

"Yeah, it's that soon." Kendall shrugs a shoulder and turns, biting at Carlos' fingers. "Figured we'd have a good time while I still can. I've got tonight and tomorrow night to get shit faced and do whatever the hell I want."

Nodding slowly, Gustavo backs up toward the kitchen and grins. "Then tonight, we get drunk and high off our asses, what do you say?"

All four of them say "hell yeah" while they follow Gustavo through the house, joining him in the kitchen. When they get in there, Carlos takes his hoodie off and tosses it onto the kitchen table, followed by his shirt. Kendall and Logan do the same, tossing their clothing onto the table before going to raid the fridge, handing out bottles of beer and liquor until everyone is satisfied.

Gustavo disappears into the living room and comes back a moment later with a wooden box in one hand and a bong in the other; he motions for everyone to go outside and they all sprawl out on the grass. Logan and Carlos roll a few joints while Camille and Kendall wait for Gustavo to pack the bong, all of them lighting up at basically the same time. They all take turns with the bong and the joints, drinking and talking and laughing with each other and Kendall tries not to think about how he's going to miss all of this when he's gone.

Once all the weed is gone, everyone moves together; Camille sits between Logan's legs and he lays against Carlos, who's got Kendall wrapped up in his arms, both of them passing a bottle of whiskey back and forth. Gustavo sits near them and drinks a bottle of bourbon, talking to them about the days before he became a mechanic and how he's messing their lives up by letting them drink and smoke weed. All four of them laugh at that and they continue to drink until the sun goes down and the moon is high in the sky, shining brightly.

The group falls asleep on the grass not long before midnight; Camille and Logan are sandwiched between Kendall and Carlos, all of their limbs tangled together in a mess. While they sleep in a pile, Gustavo lays a few feet away from them, passed out with a bottle of liquor in his hand and his sunglasses over his eyes.

**x x**

_[Wednesday]_

Camille is the first to wake up in the morning and she scrambles away from the group, going a few yards away before throwing up on the grass. Kendall gets up to check on her and, upon seeing her get sick, he follows her lead and they both kneel on the grass next to each other, laughing weakly. Once they're done throwing up, Camille and Kendall go back to their boyfriends only to find that they're cuddled in close together, Logan's arms wrapped around Carlos from behind, his face buried in his best friend's neck.

After snapping a picture of Carlos and Logan, Kendall goes inside and grabs his shirt, pulling it on with a heavy sigh, scrubbing a hand down his face as he goes to the fridge. He yawns loudly and opens the door, looking at the contents of the fridge as he scratching his jaw lightly, nails scraping along his stubble before he grabs five bottles of water. Bundling them in his arms, Kendall shuts the fridge door with his foot and heads back outside, handing a bottle of water to Camille before going over to where Logan and Carlos are laying, nudging his boyfriend's leg with his foot.

"Carlos, wake up."

"Five more minutes," Carlos grumbles, rolling over until he's face-to-face with Logan, sighing heavily. "Don't wanna go to school, ma."

Biting his lip, Kendall giggles and drops onto his knees, setting the water on the ground. "It's time for you to wake up, baby."

"No."

"You've gotta get up," Kendall says, leaning over to brush his lips against Carlos' ear. "And you're cuddling with Logan, not me."

Carlos mumbles something and then says, "Logan?"

"Yes, you've got your arms around him and, frankly, I'm quite jealous."

"Nuttin' to be jealous 'bout," Carlos slurs, nuzzling his head against Logan's as he yawns. "Best friend cuddles."

Kendall laughs quietly against Carlos' skin and then bites his earlobe. "Wake up," he repeats, biting the other boy's ear over and over.

"Okay, okay!" With a frustrated noise, Carlos rolls over onto his back and blinks sleepily up at Kendall. "I'm up, see?"

"Mm, I see." Kendall grins and leans down, kissing Carlos' cheek. "Brought you two some water," he says, nodding to the bottles beside them.

Yawning loudly, Carlos nods and sits up, muttering 'whoa' under his breath. "M'hung over," he says, voice pathetic and low.

"We all are."

"Stavo's gon' be  _maaaaad._ "

Rolling his eyes, Kendall grabs a bottle of water and pushes it into Carlos' hands. "I don't think Gustavo is going to open up today."

"Why?" Carlos asks, twisting the cap off the bottle before pouring some into his mouth.

"I think he's going to be as hung over as all of us."

Carlos swallows and looks at Kendall with wide eyes. "Oh shit."

"Yeah," Kendall laughs, shaking his head before sitting back on his heels. "Breakfast?"

"I could go for breakfast," Logan groans, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. "Where's Camille?"

As if that were here cue to join them, Camille comes over and kneels beside Logan. "Right here," she says, kissing his cheek.

"Food," Logan says, and Carlos grunts in agreement, both of them turning to look at Gustavo. "Is he alive?"

"Pretty sure," Kendall says, shrugging as he stands up, "but I can go check."

"Yes, go check. Can't have a dead guy at a party, that's bad." Carlos takes another sip of water and hands his bottle to Logan, who does the same.

Kendall shuffles over to Gustavo and bends down, putting his hand against the side of his neck to feel for a pulse; when he gets one, Kendall gives his friends a thumbs up and then laughs. Gustavo swats at Kendall's hand and he straightens up, watching as his friend rolls over onto his side, mumbling something in his sleep. Shaking his head and laughing quietly, Kendall goes back to his friends and motions toward the backdoor with a lifted brow, watching as they all get to their feet, Logan and Carlos staggering a little.

When they get inside, Kendall and Camille make breakfast for all of them; Gustavo wakes up and comes in when everything is done and they all sit around, eating and suffering through their hangovers quietly. None of them say anything for a while and Carlos takes the dirty dishes to the sink, dumping them before going back to the table, sitting on Kendall's lap; he turns and buries his face against Kendall's neck, nuzzling him lightly.

An hour later, they're all showered and looking less like death than they did before; Kendall says goodbye to Gustavo, giving him an extra long hug before the four of them pile into Carlos' care. Kendall and Camille sit in the back, cuddled up with one another while Carlos and Logan sit in the front, all of them complaining of headaches until they get to the Knight house.

No one stays with Kendall because his parents are home and he waves his friends off, stumbling into the house as quietly as possible, toeing his shoes off near the door. He walks into the kitchen and winces when he hears something being slammed down against the counter, the dull ache in his head becoming a constant, searing pain that makes him collapse into a chair at the table. Folding his arms over his head, Kendall wills all the noise to stop and keeps repeating 'no, hurts' until the sound stops and his head still aches long afterward.

"You look like shit," Christopher says, and Kendall flips him off, which earns him a slap on the shoulder. "Get drunk last night, huh?"

Jennifer sighs and comes forward, warning, "Christopher.."

"No, I want to know why my son is being so stupid just  _days_  before he's scheduled to go off to Boston."

Kendall groans loudly and pushes his dad's hand off his shoulder. "Because it's a free country?"

"Not for eighteen year olds to go out and drink when they're not  _even legal_."

"Oh, sue me."

"I could have that guy arrested - what's his name? Gus?" Christopher says, his voice too loud in Kendall's ears. "And Carlos prosecuted for giving you alcohol and pot. Did you not think I couldn't smell that on you, Kendall? God, just how stupid are you?"

Clenching his jaw, Kendall turns to stare at his father, shaking his head slowly. "I'm not stupid at all; I _like_  smoking pot - and cigarettes - and I love to drink so you know what? Fuck you, dad. Yeah - I said it. What are you going to do, hmm?"

"I should show you what happens when teenagers drink and smoke," his dad replies, shaking his head slowly. "I thought you were smarter than this, Kendall, I really did. I thought you'd spend the last week here with your family but, instead, you're out all night drinking and smoking."

"You wanna hug it out, dad?" Kendall asks, pushing himself to his feet and ignoring his headache, which has settled in behind his eyes. "You want me to cry on your shoulder and say that I'm going to miss you and mom and everyone here? Because, I can do that if you really want me to. Yeah, have a huge hugfest and cry together, because that's going to solve everything. Just like you yelling at me."

Christopher stares at Kendall and sighs heavily. "I'm glad I'm not wasting money on a real college," he says, and Kendall stares at him.

"What does that mean?"

"It means," his father starts, pausing to take a deep breath, "that if I were spending money for you to go to - oh, I dunno - Harvard or Yale and you went off and drank all the time and smoked pot? I'd feel like it would be a waste, because you would never learn anything."

Kendall curls his hands into fists and resists the urge to hit his father. "I'm going to a real college, you jackass. Maybe I'm not going to become a lawyer or a doctor like you and mom, but I'm doing something that makes me happy. Don't you want me to be happy, even if it means that I'm doing some bullshit job and I'm barely making any money?"

"No, I'd rather you be financially stable so you won't have to come to me and your mother later in life. We're not your crutch, Kendall," Christopher says, and Jennifer snorts loudly, stepping in between her husband and her son, shaking her head curtly.

"Kendall can always come to me," she says, holding a hand up when Christopher opens his mouth, "and I don't care what he does with his life as long as he's happy. If he wants to go teach children music and how to play the guitar, I'm all for it - as long as he's happy and he loves what he does."

"But you should care, Jen."

Shaking her head, Jennifer turns to Kendall and smiles. "I don't care what you do, honey, as long as you love it and you're surrounding yourself with the people you love and care about. If you ever need money in the future, I will be there to help you; I promise."

"Thank you." Kendall smiles and hugs his mom tightly, sighing as she returns it. "Now, if you will excuse me," he says, pulling away quickly, "I am going to go up into my bathroom and take a nap in front of the toilet. If you two need me, I will be up there, dying."

Before his parents can say anything, Kendall leaves the room and goes upstairs, just barely getting into his room and then the bathroom before he gets sick. Once he's done and the toilet is flushed, Kendall slumps against the bathtub and runs a hand over his face, groaning against his palm as he swallows thickly, trying to keep the remaining nausea at bay.

Half an hour later, Kendall manages to get himself undressed and in bed, laying face down on the mattress with his arms folded over his head. He's just on the edge of sleep when someone comes into his room and sits on the edge of the bed, running a hand down the back of his neck. Kendall's about to tell them to go away when he feels familiar skin brushing across his own and he shivers, turning his head on the pillow to look at Carlos with a weak smile.

"Come die with me," he croaks, pulling the blanket up as much as he can before Carlos slides underneath it, pressing their bodies together.

Carlos and Kendall lay together for a while, neither of them getting up to do anything; when they need something, Carlos texts Camille and asks her if she'll come over and take care of them. She obliges and brings water, ginger ale, and other stomach-settling foods with her, setting up a small supply of everything in Kendall's room.

The boys eat and Camille sits on the floor, reading them a story from her phone until they fall asleep again. Once they're out, she tucks them in and sits on the edge of the bed, watching over them to make sure that they're okay. Around ten that night, Camille kisses Carlos and Kendall's foreheads before going home, leaving a note that says she loves them both and she hopes they feel better soon.

**x x**

_[Thursday]_

Kendall wakes up with the blankets half off his body and he turns over to see Carlos beside him, face pushed against the crook of his own arm and he can't help but laugh quietly. He gets off the bed and finds Camille's note, smiling at it before sending her a text message, thanking her for everything and telling her that he loves her. Once the message is sent, Kendall goes downstairs to get breakfast and he brings two bowls, the gallon of milk, a box of cereal, and two spoons back to his room, smiling at Carlos when he sees that his boyfriend is awake.

They eat quietly and devour the entire box of cereal between the two of them and put a huge dent in the gallon of milk; Kendall laughs and shrugs his shoulders when he sees how much they've eaten before sitting the almost-empty jug on the floor beside the bed. He puts their dishes down there, too, and brings Carlos toward him, kissing his lips slowly, moaning at the taste of Cocoa Puffs and milk on his lips.

Laughing, Carlos pulls Kendall down on top of him and runs his hands all over his boyfriend's body, kissing him slowly as he drags a couple of fingers along the middle of his back. He laughs more when Kendall shivers and he kisses the other boy's shoulder lightly, biting at the skin before coming back to Kendall's mouth, kissing him deeply.

Carlos and Kendall kiss for a while before it escalates into something more; innocent - but passionate - kissing turns into Kendall riding Carlos until they both collapse against the bed, panting and sweaty heavily. They lay there for a while, neither of them moving or saying anything before they do it again and, this time, Carlos is the one on Kendall's lap, fingernails digging into his shoulders as he fucks himself on his boyfriend's cock.

They fuck for what seems like forever and only emerge out of the bedroom to get food and something to drink; they hoard things in Kendall's room so that they don't have to leave again and they continue with their fucking. Every inch of space is used and Kendall thinks he's had sex on or up against every single thing in the house, save for a few things, and he laughs at the thought when he and Carlos are laid out on the floor after having sex against the dresser again.

Darkness falls and Kendall pulls Carlos out of his bedroom, taking him downstairs for dinner; they ignore the looks Kendall's parents give them as they head into the kitchen. Dinner isn't anything fancy, but they still eat at the table, nudging their foots against one another and giggling around the food in their mouths. When they're done eating, Kendall does the dishes and grabs two beers from the fridge, taking hold of Carlos' hand as they make their way back up the stairs, not saying anything to his parents on the way up.

"So, tomorrow." Carlos says this without looking at Kendall, his eyes fixated on the bottle in his hands.

"Yeah," Kendall says, nodding slowly as he brushes his lips along Carlos' shoulder. "But we have the rest of tonight."

Carlos snorts and turns to look at Kendall, biting his lip. "What time do you leave in the morning?"

"Takes about a day to get there and I still have to put my things in the car, so... I dunno, noon?"

"So, we can spend the night having slow sex?"

Licking his lips, Kendall nods and takes the beer away from Carlos, setting both of them on the nightstand. "We can do whatever you want."

"That's what I want," Carlos says, nodding as he buries his fingers in Kendall's hair. "I want slow, passionate sex... like it's the last time we're going to be able to do it. I wanna savor my last few hours with you, and I can't think of a better way to do it."

"Carlos.." Kendall sighs, but Carlos just shakes his head and smiles sadly.

"Shh."

"Okay," is all Kendall says before he pulls Carlos forward, slotting their lips together. He pries the other boy's lips open with his tongue and licks into his mouth slowly, sighing into the kiss as he lays his boyfriend down against the mattress. Tilting his head slightly, Kendall moans when Carlos' tongue meets his own and he moves a hand down his side, dragging his fingertips underneath the waistband of Carlos' boxers.

Carlos lets out a small whimper and lifts his hips, biting at Kendall's top lip just before he pulls away. He lets out another whimper and then he whines softly, feeling the fabric of his boxers slide down over his cock, causing his hips to stutter forward. Chuckling quietly, Kendall leans down and presses his lips against Carlos' stomach, pushing his boxers down until they're around his ankles, fingertips skirting up the outsides of his legs. He looks up at the other boy with a smile and kisses his way up Carlos' stomach and chest, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Kendall."

"Yeah?" Kendall whispers, lips brushing along Carlos'.

Screwing his eyes shut, Carlos bites at the inside of his lip and then swallows. "I don't want you to go," he admits, voice squeaky.

"I know, baby." Kendall sighs and leans his forehead against Carlos', squeezing his eyes shut. "I don't want to go, either, believe me... but don't think about it now, okay? Just.. don't."

"I'm trying," Carlos says, his voice cracking as a few tears slip out. "I can't help it."

Swallowing thickly, Kendall drags the tip of his nose along the slope of Carlos'. "Shh," he whispers, finding one of Carlos' hands and squeezing it lightly.

"Okay.. I'm alright, promise."

"You sure?" When Carlos nods in response, Kendall mimics him and leans down to kiss his lips, moving their joined hands to the top of the bed, lightly pressing his hips against Carlos'. They moan together and Kendall pulls away just long enough to get his own boxers off, sliding a hand between Carlos and the bed, pressing two fingers against his entrance.

As he runs his fingertips along Carlos' rim, Kendall leans over and grabs the lube, pouring some onto his cock before stroking it in, sliding a finger into Carlos slowly, pushing in until the last knuckle. He works the digit in and out slowly, leaning down to kiss across Carlos' chest, nipping and sucking on his nipples lightly, slipping a second finger inside before fingering him a little faster, listening to his breath hitch. Smiling softly, Kendall pulls his fingers out and replaces them with the head of his cock, sliding into Carlos slowly, wrapping a hand around his hip as he bottoms out.

Carlos gasps when Kendall's cock is in all the way and he hooks both legs around his boyfriend's waist, cupping either side of his neck gently. He looks up at the other boy with a soft smile, biting at the fuller part of his lower lip as he brushes his thumbs across Kendall's jaw and cheek, feeling the rough slide of stubble underneath his skin. Taking in a deep breath, Carlos nods his head slowly and lets his eyes slide shut, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as Kendall starts to move slowly, rotating his hips against Carlos' ass.

Breathing deeply through his nose, Kendall bends down and kisses Carlos softly, dragging his lips across the other boy's cheek and jaw, dropping his mouth down. He kisses across his boyfriend's shoulder and over his bicep, thrusting in and out slowly as he moves a hand down Carlos' side, fingertips dragging across his skin before moving along his thigh. Kendall leaves his hand there as he straightens up, pulling his cock out slowly before running the head along Carlos' entrance, biting his lower lip when he pushes back in.

"Kendall, oh.." Carlos moans, sliding his hands down to Kendall's chest, pressing his palms against it. "A little harder."

"Fuck, I... okay." Huffing, Kendall grips Carlos' thighs and starts to thrust in a little harder, keeping up with the slow pace; they moan in unison and Carlos tacks on Kendall's name to each noise he makes. The sound of his boyfriend's voice - and his moans - go straight to Kendall's cock and he keeps sliding in and out of Carlos, pace quickening with each thrust. "Love you," he gasps out, cock buried inside Carlos once more, "so much."

Arching his back, Carlos whines and drags his hands down Kendall's chest. "I love you too," he says, licking his lips after he speaks.

Kendall pulls out and snaps his hips forward, taking one of Carlos' hands in his own, lacing their fingers together. He lays their hands just above his heart as he thrusts in and out slowly, sweat dripping down the back of his neck and sliding down between his shoulders. Swallowing thickly, Kendall gives Carlos' hand a squeeze when he starts to fuck into him harder, the rhythm harder and more erratic than before. He pants and gasps his boyfriend's name loudly, sliding their joined hands down the middle of his chest, resting it against the inside of Carlos' thigh.

"Fuck me harder."

The command knocks the breath out of Kendall and he obeys; hips snapping forward and into Carlos' ass roughly, cock buried inside him for a second before Kendall's pulling out again. He fucks Carlos quickly and moves a hand to his hip, gripping it hard enough to make it bruise the next day but he's not worried about the bruising or scarring; Kendall knows that they'll both have scratches and bite marks and bruises all over their bodies for the next few days. Thinking about being in Boston for the first couple of days with bruises and marks from Carlos only makes Kendall harder and he growls, thrusting into Carlos even faster, the sound of their skin slapping together filling the room.

As he gets closer to coming, Kendall drops Carlos' hand and moves one to his cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts; he drags the pad of his thumb along the head of Carlos' cock and moans loudly when he arches and pushes back against him. Swallowing thickly and closing his eyes, Kendall thrusts into his boyfriend a handful of times before stilling his hips, grunting and groaning Carlos' name over and over as he comes, hips stuttering forward after a moment.

Sweat trickles down their bodies and Carlos whines, twisting and contorting his body. "Coming... I'm - " he says, the words cut off with a loud moan and Kendall's name coming from his lips in a near scream. They disregard the fact that Kendall's parents are downstairs and they both make a lot of noise, especially Carlos, who is moaning and panting on the mattress, his back bowed and hips lifted.

When they come down from their orgasms, Carlos disentangles his legs and drops them away from Kendall's waist, his back falling against the mattress; he whines softly when Kendall pulls out of him and he bites at his lower lip, keeping his eyes shut. Carlos moves around carefully to give Kendall more room on the bed and then he turns his head, opening his eyes to look at his boyfriend, who's laying on his side with a lazy grin on his face.

"I love you," Kendall says, leaning in to kiss Carlos' shoulder lightly, keeping his lips pressed against it.

Carlos swallows thickly and lifts a hand, running his fingers through Kendall's sweaty hair, closing his eyes as he does. "I love you too."

Everything goes silent after that, save for the sounds of their harsh breathing, and Carlos tries not to dwell on the fact that this is his last night to spend with Kendall. He moves his fingers through his boyfriend's hair and listens to his breathing even out; focuses on Kendall's content humming and the way it vibrates against his skin.

Soon, Kendall is asleep beside Carlos and he lays there with his eyes closed, breathing slowly through his nose as he drags a hand through Kendall's hair, pushing it back away from his forehead. An hour passes and Carlos still isn't asleep; he's thinking about Friday and how he has to say goodbye to his boyfriend, the thought bringing tears to his eyes. He cries silently and wraps Kendall up in his arms, laying their heads together for a while before he finally falls asleep, tears drying on his cheeks.

That night, Carlos doesn't sleep well at all; he keeps waking up every hour to make sure that Kendall is still there, wrapped securely in his arms. Even when he sees that Kendall is still there, it takes Carlos a long time to fall back asleep and he doesn't stay that way long before he's waking up again, struggling to find his breath. The third time he wakes up, Carlos just stays awake and listens to the sound of Kendall's breathing, running a hand up and down the middle of his back slowly, trying his hardest not to think about saying goodbye. Instead, he thinks about all the good times he and Kendall had and that keeps him from crying, at least until the morning.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: goodbyes, sadness, panic attacks.]

When Kendall wakes up in the morning, the first thing he sees is Carlos staring at him, a soft smile playing on his lips. He returns it with a sleepy smile of his own and shuffles closer, rubbing his eye with one hand as he yawns loudly. Sighing heavily, Kendall winds an arm around Carlos' waist and buries his face against his boyfriend's neck, breathing in his scent and humming contentedly. A comfortable silence falls over them and they lay there for a while with Kendall's arm wrapped around Carlos' middle and one of his hands cupping Kendall's bicep, the pad of his thumb brushing along his skin.

Birds start singing outside the window. Sunlight pours through the blinds, warming Kendall's skin, and he pushes himself closer to Carlos, soaking up every last second he can. His lips brush along Carlos' neck and Kendall kisses the hollow of his throat, humming against it for a moment before pulling away and sitting up, sliding his hand across his boyfriend's stomach slowly. Chewing on his lower lip, Kendall looks down at Carlos and tries to smile but it falters, his lips falling into a hard, thin line.

"What's the matter?" Carlos asks, voice low and rough, hand sliding across the back of Kendall's.

Kendall shakes his head and swallows hard. "It doesn't feel real," he says, biting his lip more.

"You leaving?" Kendall nods and Carlos sighs, pushing himself into a sitting position. "I know, but it is real. You'll be leaving in," he pauses and looks around Kendall to check the time, "four hours, if that."

"I'm sorry." The words come out in a choked off sob and Kendall brings a hand up, scratching his jaw. "I'm so sorry, Carlos," he mutters.

Shaking his head, Carlos wraps his arms around Kendall and pulls him close, moving a hand to the back of his head. "Don't worry about it, okay? We'll make this work and if we don't... then we'll always be friends."

"You don't mean that," Kendall says, hiccuping as he presses his face against Carlos' shoulder.

"Why wouldn't I? I can be friends with someone even if I'm madly in love with them."

Another hiccup leaves Kendall's throat and he starts to cry, tears pouring down his face and landing on Carlos' skin. His shoulders shake and he tries to curl in on himself, tries to push his body against Carlos' even more and he makes a disappointed noise when he realizes that he can't. He can feel Carlos' fingers in his hair, dragging through it before smoothing down the back of his head; they're soothing touches and Kendall tries to focus on them, his chest heaving as he sobs against his boyfriend's shoulder.

"I - love - you," Kendall sobs out, hiccuping in between words.

Carlos presses a kiss to the side of Kendall's head and nods slowly. "I know," he says, sighing softly. "I love you too."

They both fall silent again and Carlos strokes the back of Kendall's head, fingertips dragging down the curve of his skull, lightly touching the nape of his neck before going back to the crown. He repeats this action until he's sure that Kendall is done crying and then he watches the other boy pull away, his eyes red and puffy, tears stained on his cheeks. Carlos tries to smile but can't find the strength to do it, so he just stares, expression blank.

"Should pack my stuff before it's too late." Kendall sniffles and wipes at his cheeks, grumbling as he dries his hands on his sheet. "Wanna help?"

Rolling a shoulder, Carlos licks his lips and tries to smile again. "Sure, why not? Gotta put clothes on, first."

"Not if we're going to stay in my room."

"Clothes," Carlos says, and Kendall drops it after that, nodding solemnly. "Remember, you have to see my parents before you leave."

Kendall moves off the bed and grabs a pair of jeans from the floor, slipping them on. "I was going to make that my last stop," he says.

"Oh, why is that?"

"I dunno, means you and your family are the last people I see before I leave."

Carlos nods and turns to move off the other side of the bed, his back to Kendall. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be? Your family's been great to me and I want yours to be the last face I see," Kendall explains, frowning as he watches Carlos pick up clothes off the floor before pulling them on slowly. "Unless you don't want that."

"Huh?" Carlos turns when he's pulled a shirt on, arching a brow. "I didn't say that."

Chewing on his lip, Kendall nods and runs a hand through his hair, moving over to the corner of his room. "I should probably put all my dirty clothes in the washing machine, then I'll come back and we can put everything else away."

"Sounds good to me. What are we putting everything else in?"

"I don't have that many clothes, so I'm just going to stuff it all into suitcases," Kendall answers as he bends down to grab an armful of clothes.

"Do you want help with that?" Carlos tips his head toward the pile of laundry.

Kendall straightens up and looks down, frowning. "If you wouldn't mind?"

"I don't." With a small smile - barely a hint of one - and a quiet chuckle, Carlos comes forward and scoops up the rest of the clothes, following Kendall out into the hall. "Why didn't you do these before today?"

"Had other things to do," Kendall mumbles, leading Carlos down the stairs and he nearly stumbles when he remembers that he was supposed to go out with his mom before leaving. "Shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Carlos stops on the middle stair and looks down at Kendall. "What?"

"I forgot something.."

"Is that bad?" Carlos asks, chewing on the edge of his lip.

Sighing, Kendall goes down the rest of the stairs and nods. "Yeah. I kind of forgot that my mom and I were planning on spending time together before I left, but I can't do that now. God, how could I be so stupid? My dad was right," he mumbles as he stalks off toward the kitchen, Carlos following.

"I'm sure she'll understand," Carlos says, his voice quiet as they step into the kitchen.

"She will, but that doesn't make me feel any less shitty."

They walk into the laundry room and Kendall turns the washing machine on, dumping soap into it before stuffing his clothes in. Carlos hands him some of the clothes in his arms and dumps the rest onto the floor, heading back out into the kitchen quietly, hands slipping into his pockets. Kendall shuts the washing machine and comes out a moment later, running a hand through his hair as he looks up at Carlos, biting at the fuller part of his lip.

"I'm so fucked up," he says, and Carlos just shakes his head slowly. "No, I am."

Carlos comes forward and wraps his arms around Kendall's waist, half expected to be pushed away, surprised when he isn't. "You aren't," he whispers.

"I am."

"No, you really aren't." Carlos' voice is firm as he speaks and he presses his forehead against Kendall's chest. "Stop talking like that, please."

Kendall takes a deep breath and scrubs the back of his head, looking down at Carlos. "Okay, I'll stop - but only because you asked nicely," he says.

"Thank you." Smiling, Carlos pulls away and leans up to kiss Kendall's lips softly. "Now, let's go pack the rest of your stuff."

"Alright, sure." Kendall leans down and kisses Carlos again before taking his hand, lacing their fingers together as he pulls away, leading Carlos out of the kitchen and back to the stairs, going up them slowly. They go into his room and Kendall reluctantly drops Carlos' hand before moving to the closet, opening the doors quickly. He bends down to grab his suitcases and drags two of them to the bed, laying them on top of the mattress before going to get the third one, doing the same with it.

Carlos unzips the first two suitcases and opens them, turning to look at Kendall. "So, just shove clothes into them?"

"Guess so," Kendall says, shrugging as he heads over to his dresser, opening the top drawer. "Doesn't have to be pretty."

"But it  _will_  be," Carlos says, grinning as he goes over to the closet, taking the clothes off the hangers. "I'm very organized."

Snorting, Kendall grabs his underwear and takes it over to the first suitcase, dropping them inside. "I'm not," he admits.

"I'll pack everything nicely so we can fit more into one case." Carlos turns and walks back to the bed with an armful of jeans. "Instead of just randomly  _dumping_  things into them," he says as he looks down at the first case, shaking his head.

"You do that, I'm going to round everything else up."

"Okay." Nodding, Carlos drops the jeans onto the bed and starts folding them, laying each pair down into the suitcase when he's done. He watches as Kendall moves about the room, grinning when he curses loudly or starts talking to himself as he rummages through drawers. Carlos shakes his head and puts the last pair of jeans into the suitcase, turning his attention to Kendall's underwear. "These aren't all of them are they?"

Kendall stops looking through a drawer and turns to look at Carlos. "No, it's not. I packed the rest away," he says, smirking.

"Good, because if you only had this many," Carlos says, folding a pair of boxer briefs, "then that would be weird."

"Ha ha," Kendall laughs, grabbing all of his t-shirts and tank tops from the rest of the drawers. "I may need another suitcase."

Carlos shakes his head and looks up. "Not if you let me worry about packing things."

"It's all yours." Kendall drops the t-shirts onto the bed and backs away with his hands up. "I guess all of these are going into the trunk and my guitars will go into the backseat. Does that sound like a good plan or should I do it the other way?"

"Sounds good to me."

They fall silent again as Carlos folds the rest of Kendall's underwear, packing it in the suitcase with all of his jeans, humming in approval of his work. He moves onto the t-shirts next and ends up stuffing the tank tops in with the jeans and the underwear, putting the other shirts in the empty suitcase, smiling when he realizes that Kendall still has lots of space left in both of them, along with the third, empty case.

While Carlos works on packing his clothes, Kendall puts his guitars in their cases and lines them up on the wall before moving to empty out the drawer of the nightstand, blushing when he pulls two bottles of lube out - one nearly empty and one full. He puts them both on the bed and pulls out a box of condoms, tossing those onto the mattress as well, along with an assortment of different things, ranging from guitar picks to bracelets. Once the drawer is empty, Kendall turns to look at the progress Carlos has made with his suitcases, whistling when he sees how organized they are.

"I'm glad you decided to help," he says, smiling when Carlos blushes. "What do I do with these condoms and lube?"

Carlos looks at the box of condoms and shrugs. "Give these to Logan and take the lube with you," he says, pushing the box against Kendall's chest.

"That would look weird, a bro giving another bro a box of condoms that's missing," Kendall pauses to rifle through the packages still in the box, "like, six and that might not even be his size. Wow, okay, now I'm thinking about Logan's junk and I do not want."

"Logan's an attractive guy," Carlos points out, pouting.

Kendall nods his head and closes the box. "I know," he says, setting the condoms down on the nightstand, "but I've got you."

"Damn straight." Grinning, Carlos leans up and kisses Kendall's lips softly, biting at his lips before pulling away. "But still, give them to Logan or Camille; they'll find good use for them, believe me."

"Now I'm thinking about Logan and Camille having sex," Kendall grumbles, shuddering. "Thanks."

Carlos laughs quietly and nods his head, biting at his lower lip. "You're welcome."

"Speaking of Camille and Logan... think it's too early to get them over here? I need to see them before I leave, too."

"Not too early for Logan, but he might be at work," Carlos answers, shrugging his shoulders a bit.

Biting his lip, Kendall looks at Carlos and then scrunches his nose. "I'll text him anyway. Maybe Gustavo will let him leave for a bit."

"Maybe."

Kendall grabs his phone and scrolls through his contacts, sending Logan a quick text reminding him that he's going to leave and asking if he can come over to say goodbye. He sends the exact same message to Camille before putting his phone away and turning to help Carlos put things in his suitcase, stashing the lube underneath his jeans and blushing when Carlos asks if he's going to use the whole bottle in the first week he's gone. Kendall's phone buzzes when they're done and he grabs it, smiling at the response he gets from Logan.

_'Yeah, Gustavo said it's okay for me to leave. Be there in 20.'_

After sending a quick 'okay' to Logan, Kendall puts his phone back into his pocket and wraps his arms around Carlos. "Not much left to do now."

"Nope," Carlos says, moving his hands to Kendall's, fingertips dragging across his knuckles. "I have one question."

"Hmm?"

Carlos looks up at Kendall and squints his eyes a bit. "Are you going to have a bed at your apartment? Or dorm, or whatever."

"It's an apartment," Kendall answers, kissing the tip of Carlos' nose. "And I'm going to buy a bed when I get out there."

"So that explains why you're not getting a U-Haul," Carlos mumbles and Kendall nods, kissing the tip of his nose again.

"Exactly. I can just have my bed delivered the same day and I don't have to haul it."

Nodding slowly, Carlos closes his eyes and hums quietly. "So what are you going to sleep on for the first few nights?"

"I packed a bunch of blankets and, if I have to, I can go buy more... so I'll sleep on those for the first night."

"Look at you, having it all figured out," Carlos says, laughing quietly.

Kendall grins and nods, kissing Carlos slowly. "I do," he mumbles, licking his lips slowly. "Logan's coming over in about fifteen or twenty minutes and I think he'll pick Camille up, if she got my text message."

"Good, they can help with the rest of the stuff."

"There's not really much else to do," Kendall grumbles, looking around the room. "I have to get all of my chargers together, pack my movies and shit like that, get my laptop and everything... then I'm pretty much set."

"Well, then they can help with all of  _that._ "

Rolling his eyes, Kendall kisses Carlos' cheek and moves away from him. "I just hope all of this fits," he says, looking at the three suitcase and he his three guitar cases lined up against the wall, chewing on his lip. "I'm leaving some guitars here, obviously, and I'm only taking the really good ones."

"Like the expensive ones?" Carlos asks, turning to look at Kendall with a grin. "Hey, can we go get breakfast since everything is mostly packed?"

"Sure, come on."

They both move toward the door and Kendall takes Carlos' hand in his own, lacing their fingers together as they step out into the hallway. He leads the other boy to the stairs and squeezes his fingers, smirking a little when Carlos makes a small noise in his throat. When they get to the bottom of the stairs, Kendall stops Carlos and he kisses him slowly, letting the kiss linger for a moment before pulling away and smiling at the other boy. They go into the kitchen after that and drop their hands; Carlos moves over to the counter and leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest as Kendall goes to the fridge and opens the door, examining the contents.

After a few minutes of searching, Kendall grabs the milk out of the fridge and goes to grab two bowls from the cabinet, setting them down on the counter before going to the pantry. He selects a box of cereal at random and comes back out, pouring some into the bowls before adding the milk and grabbing two spoons from the silverware drawer. Kendall puts a spoon in each bowl and picks one of them up, taking it over to Carlos with a smile on his face, nodding at the other boy when he takes it.

Kendall goes back to the counter and hops up onto it, grabbing his bowl before digging into the cereal. They eat in silence and the only noise - save for the sound of their chewing - in the kitchen is the soft thump of Kendall's heels hitting the cabinet door underneath him. When they're both done, Kendall puts their bowls into the sink and kisses Carlos, moaning at the taste on his lips before taking him back into the living room and toward the stairs. Just before they step onto the bottom stair, someone knocks on the door and Kendall goes to answer it, smiling when he sees Logan and Camille standing on the porch.

"Logan! Camille!" Kendall ushers them in and shuts the door behind them. "Glad you two could come over."

"Well, Logan has to get back in an hour," Camille says, immediately wrapping her arms around Kendall. "But I'm here until you leave."

Logan nods his head and scratches his chin. "Yeah, sorry 'bout it - gotta work and everything," he says, biting his lip.

"No problem. I just didn't wanna leave without seeing you, that's all." Kendall smiles at Logan and wraps his arms around Camille's shoulders. "You can help with packing and trying to get things situated in my car then," he says as he leans down to kiss the top of her head.

"Exciting," she says, laughing as she pulls away. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too. All of you," Kendall replies, looking from Camille to Logan and then, finally, to Carlos, who is standing a few feet away.

They all stand there quietly for a moment before Logan clears his throat. "So, what are we going to do for the next hour?"

"Well," Kendall starts, keeping an arm around Camille's shoulders, "I need to put clothes in the dryer, then put  _more_  in the washer... then we'll be good to do just about anything that doesn't last longer than an hour."

"So no orgy," Carlos says, his voice squeaky.

"Damn," Logan mumbles, snapping his fingers together.

Kendall laughs and shakes his head, giving Camille's shoulders a squeeze. "Wanna help me with laundry?"

"Do you only want my help 'cause I'm a girl?"

"No, because you're lovely and I want you by my side as much as possible."

Camille turns pink and nods her head, snuggling up against Kendall's side. "Okay, I'll help with your gross laundry," she says.

"You two have fun. Logan and I are gonna sit in here and talk about work," Carlos says, swatting Kendall on the ass as he walks by, grinning when his boyfriend yelps and grumbles 'fuck you' under his breath. "Love you too, baby."

When they're in the kitchen, Kendall drops his arm away from Camille's shoulders and goes over to the laundry room, flicking the light on as he steps over the pile of dirty clothes on the floor. He opens the washing machine and starts pulling clothes out, stuffing them into the dryer before shutting it and turning it on. Groaning dramatically and huffing, Kendall looks up at Camille with a grin and then bends down, scooping up the rest of the clothes before dumping them into the washing machine and turning it on. After pouring soap into it and shutting the top, Kendall comes out and takes Camille's hands in his own, smiling.

"So, I have an awkward question."

Raising a brow, Camille looks down at their hands and then back up at Kendall. "You're not asking me to marry you, right?"

"No, I'm not," Kendall laughs, shaking his head as he squeezes her hands. "It's awkward because... well, I've got a box of condoms that Carlos and I never got to use and he suggested that I give them to you and Logan. Since, you know, I won't need them and Carlos won't need them.."

"Condoms? What makes you think Logan and I are having sex?" Camille grins and wriggles her hands free from Kendall's, moving them to his sides.

Kendall blushes and shrugs a shoulder. "I dunno, cause you two can barely keep your hands off each other?"

"That's true," she says, nodding slowly.

"So, you want them?"

"Sure, why not? Free condoms are a blessing."

"Gross, gross..." Kendall wrinkles his nose and Camille laughs at him, smacking his chest. "I love you both, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to think about the two of you having sex. It's just..."

"Heterosexual?" Camille offers, raising a brow.

Rolling his eyes, Kendall snorts and shakes his head. "Just not my cup of tea, really."

"I didn't think it was mine either, but Logan's sexy and his boy-parts aren't gross at all."

"So I guess I'm the only one who hasn't seen Logan naked," Kendall grumbles, shuddering again.

Camille giggles and shakes her head, wrapping both arms around Kendall's waist. "Do you want to?"

"I'm starting to wonder if I should, just to know what the big deal is."

"I'll allow it, if you'r serious."

"I'm not really serious," Kendall says, smiling as he leans down to kiss Camille's forehead. "But thank you for the offer."

"Anytime," Camille whispers, smiling softly. "I'm really going to miss you."

Kendall nods his head slowly and rests his forehead against Camille's. "I'm going to miss you too, about as much as I'm going to miss Carlos."

"Not more?"

"There's half a percentage difference between how much I'm going to miss you and how much I'm gonna miss Carlos," Kendall says, laughing quietly.

"I can deal with that." Nodding, Camille pulls Kendall closer and ducks down, tucking her head underneath his chin. "Just promise me that you'll visit so that I won't go insane with missing you? Because you're my best friend and I don't know what I'm going to do without you. This town is going to suck ass when you're gone. Not the good kind of sucking ass, either."

Swallowing thickly, Kendall rests his cheek against the top of Camille's head. "What about Logan?"

"What about him?"

"You'll have him, so things won't be that bad."

"Yeah," Camille says, pausing to sigh, "but he's not  _you._  I can't gossip with him and we can't just hang out, you know? It's serious with Logan but with you... well, you're like a big brother to me. I can come to you with anything but I can't do that with Logan."

Kendall nods and swallows again, blinking away tears. "I know, but you can call me every night and we'll Skype whenever you want."

"When you're not Skyping with Carlos," she grumbles, pressing her face against Kendall's shirt.

"No, I'll set aside certain times for him and you can have me whenever I'm not on with him or busy with schoolwork."

Sniffling, Camille pulls away and looks up at Kendall, biting her lip. "Promise?"

"Promise." Kendall leans down and just barely presses a kiss to Camille's lips. "Now, don't be sad."

"Too late, I've been sad all week."

"Well, don't be sad today. Wait until I'm gone to cry or else I'm going to break down with you," Kendall mumbles, lifting a hand to brush his thumb along Camille's cheekbone, smiling down at her. "I'm already going to break down when I have to say goodbye to Carlos and one time is enough for me."

Biting her lip, Camille nods and sniffles again. "I'll wait until you're gone," she promises, turning to kiss Kendall's palm. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replies, leaning down to kiss her forehead again, brushing his lips along her hairline. "Logan's lucky to have you."

"Carlos is lucky to have  _you._ "

Kendall scoffs and chuckles lightly, shaking his head. "Nah," he says, swallowing thickly as he tries to keep himself from crying.

"Do you think Logan's going to cry?"

"I hope not."

"Me too," Camille says, nodding her head slowly as she bunches Kendall's shirt up in her hands. "I hope he waits until he's off work and with me to cry because I don't want to cry alone."

Humming in agreement, Kendall brushes his nose against Camille's hair and sighs. "Do you love him?"

"Carlos?"

"No," Kendall laughs, burying his face against Camille's hair for a second before pulling away. "Logan."

Camille purses her lips together and nods slowly. "I'm like, ridiculously in love with him," she answers, blushing. "He's perfect."

"Good, good. I'm glad you two are in love, I hope you guys stay that way."

"Me too. I hope you and Carlos do, too."

"Yeah..." Sighing, Kendall straightens up and runs a hand down his face, wrapping his arm around Camille's shoulders. "Come on, let's get back in there so I can spend some time with Logan before I leave."

"He'd hate you if you left without spending time with him."

Kendall laughs and nods his head, leading her back out into the living room. "I'd hate myself if I didn't."

They go to the couch where Carlos and Logan are sitting and Camille moves around to sit on her boyfriend's lap; Kendall takes a moment to look at the scene and smiles sadly, swallowing as he goes around to sit between Logan and Carlos. He leans back against the couch and kicks his feet up onto the coffee table, turning to smile at Logan while Carlos snuggles up against his side, resting a hand low on his stomach.

"I can't believe you're leaving soon," Logan mumbles, wrapping his arms around Camille before leaning his head against her shoulder. "Like, who am I going to talk to about Camille and Carlos when they're driving me nuts?"

"You can always call me or text me."

Logan shakes his head and pouts. "Not the same," he says, biting his lip softly.

"Dude, come on - don't cry," Kendall says, punching him lightly in the arm. "Wait until you're alone to do that."

"I'm not going to  _cry_ , I'm just... going to miss you. You're like, my second best friend and it's going to be weird without you around."

Nodding, Kendall drapes an arm across Carlos' shoulders, stretching the other one across the back of the couch. "I know, but I'll be back before any of you know it. I'll come home, bug the shit out of all of you, and you'll be wishing I would have stayed in Boston."

"Not gonna happen," Carlos says before burying his face against Kendall's chest.

"I agree with Carlos." Camille nods and leans against Logan, who nods along with her.

"You guys are  _nuts_. You're going to get so used to me not being around that I'm going to come back annoy you guys. It's going to happen," Kendall says, moving a hand to the back of Carlos' head, running his fingers through his hair slowly.

Everyone falls silent and Kendall drags his hand through Carlos' hair slowly, looking down at him when he hears soft sniffling, frowning. He leans down and stills his hand for a moment, brushing his lips across the back of Carlos' head, pressing a kiss to the base of his skull. The sniffling gets louder until Carlos pulls away and excuses himself, moving out of the room quickly, taking the stairs two at a time. A door slams above them and Kendall winces, chewing on his lower lip as he turns to look at Camille and Logan, who are staring back at him with wide eyes.

"I should go - " Kendall starts, but Logan puts a hand on his arm, shaking his head slowly.

"I'll go check on him." Logan gets up when Camille slides off his lap and he goes to the stairs, taking them quickly; Kendall just watches him until he disappears and then he looks down at his lap, folding his hands together.

Camille sits next to him, puts her hand over top of his. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," he says, sniffling as he laces their fingers together, waiting for Logan and Carlos to come back.

"I know, but I still feel bad."

"Yeah," Kendall says, laughing weakly. "Me too."

Sighing, Camille moves closer and puts her head against Kendall's shoulder; they sit quietly, Camille playing with his fingers as they wait for Logan to come back down. When he does, Kendall looks over toward the staircase and his heart drops when he realizes that Carlos isn't with him, his hand squeezing Camille's tightly.

"He wants you." Logan pats Kendall's shoulder and smiles sadly. "I've gotta get back to work and I think Camille should leave you two alone for now."

Kendall nods and stands up automatically, walking around to the back of the couch. "I guess this is it," he says, chuckling softly.

"Yep," Logan says, running a hand through his hair. "See you in a couple of months?"

"See you in a couple of months." Smiling, Kendall opens his arms in invitation and Logan steps forward, letting himself be wrapped up in Kendall's embrace. They hold onto one another for a moment and Kendall squeezes Logan a little just before they pull away, laughing quietly. "Take care of Camille and Carlos, okay?"

Swallowing thickly, Logan nods and drags his teeth over his lower lip. "You know I will."

"I love you, dude."

"I love you too, bro." Logan bites down on the middle of his lip and he slaps his hand against Kendall's, shaking it before pulling him in for another hug, this one longer than the last. They ease apart when Camille comes over to them and clears her throat; Kendall looks down at her and notices that her eyes are wet and he chokes back a sob as he gathers her in his arms.

Their hug is longer and tighter than the last one and Kendall lets himself go. "I love you," he sobs out, burying his face against Camille's hair.

"Stop crying," she says, her voice cracking as she clings to Kendall. "And I love you too, dumbass."

Kendall laughs and pulls away, wiping at his eyes with one hand, lifting the other to touch Camille's cheek. "I'll stop by and see you before I leave."

"Better." Camille smiles and leans up to kiss Kendall's cheek. "Go console Carlos."

Nodding slowly, Kendall runs a hand down his face and watches as Logan and Camille go toward the door; Logan turns back and lifts a hand, giving him a small wave before disappearing through the door. Once it's shut and his friends are gone, Kendall goes up the stairs slowly, biting at his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. By the time he gets to his room, Kendall can taste the iron on his tongue and he laves it across his lips as he opens the door, wincing at the pain in his lower lip as he steps into his bedroom.

"Carlos?"

Something falls in the bathroom and Kendall heads to the door, pushing it open.

"Go 'way," Carlos grumbles, tightly pulling his knees to his chest as Kendall steps into the room.

"I can't and you know that." Dropping to his knees, Kendall moves a hand along the back of Carlos' head and swallows. "I'm sorry."

A broken sob leaves Carlos' throat and he throws his arms around Kendall's neck. "You're so dumb."

"I know," Kendall agrees, moving his hands down Carlos' shoulders, rubbing them slowly. "But you love me, remember?"

Carlos hiccups and buries his face against his boyfriend's neck, pulling him closer. He doesn't say anything, just scrambles to curl up in Kendall's lap, his face buried against the other boy's chest now, tears soaking through the fabric. As Carlos cries, Kendall hums to him and holds him close, rubbing both hands up and down his back slowly, working them in circles until the crying slows down and Carlos' shaking stops.

"Think I'm going to go home," Carlos says, after a moment, and his voice is broken and raw. "You can keep packing on your own."

Taking a deep breath, Kendall nods and rests his head against Carlos'. "I can, but I don't want you to drive if you think you're going to break down."

"Not gonna."

"You sure?"

"Mm," is the only response Kendall gets before Carlos' lips are on his, moving slowly. The kiss doesn't last long and Carlos is pulling back before Kendall can even respond, chewing on his lower lip. "Come see me, before you leave."

Kendall nods and tries to smile. "I will," he promises, cupping Carlos' cheek gently, thumbing across it.

For a moment, Carlos leans into the touch and sighs softly, letting his eyes slide shut. He sits on Kendall's lap and lets himself calm down before pulling away and standing, situating himself before stepping over and around Kendall. When he gets to the door, Carlos looks back and bites the inside of his cheek softly before turning to walk out of the room; Kendall listens to his footsteps until they're gone and then he gets up, going into his bedroom again.

When he's sure that Carlos is gone, Kendall goes downstairs again and rubs both hands over his face, screaming into his palms before pulling them away. His scream echoes through the house and it brings him to his knees, tears streaming down his face and he keeps screaming until his throat burns and he can't do it anymore. Coughing and hiccuping, Kendall slumps onto the floor and curls into himself and that's how his mom finds him a few minutes later when she comes in from work.

She drops to her knees and runs her hand over Kendall's hair, pushing it away from his forehead. "Shh," Jennifer whispers, brushing her fingers across her son's cheek slowly, her fingertips wet with tears.

"So" - hiccup - "stupid."

"No, baby, you're not.."

"Are so," Kendall mumbles, finally calming himself.

Jennifer purses her lips and looks down at him. "Why?"

"Leaving the best thing in my life," is all Kendall says as he scrambles to push himself up onto his knees.

"You didn't know you were going to meet Carlos when you applied for school."

Kendall rolls a shoulder and laughs quietly. "I'm also stupid cause - cause you wanted to spend time with me before I left and I spent all my time with Carlos. God, I hate myself for that, mom."

"I don't." Jennifer chuckles and lifts a hand, wiping Kendall's tears away. "I've had you for eighteen years; Carlos has only had you a few months, so I figured I would just let you two spend time with one another. We'll have plenty of time to spend together when you come back for Christmas and spring break and summer, if you're coming home then."

"I am." Kendall nods and swallows hard, sniffling as he lifts a hand to wipe his eyes. "I'm coming home whenever I can."

Jennifer smiles and leans forward, kissing Kendall's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Now, what else do you have to do today before you leave?"

**x x**

Kendall and Jennifer get everything packed and squared away in the car; the guitars and one suitcase fit perfectly in the trunk, while everything else is situated in the backseat. They get it all put into the car and, when they're done, Kendall is glad not to be leaving anything behind and he's also happy that his car isn't packed with things; he's still got room for a few more things, should he pick them up on the way. When they're done with putting everything away, Jennifer and Kendall go inside to eat one last meal together before he leaves.

They've just finished eating when Christopher comes in and Kendall nearly drops his plate in the sink when he feels his dad's hand on his shoulder. He does yelp, though, and he spins around to look at his dad with an arched brow, confused at the look on Christopher's face. His father is smiling and he looks happier than Kendall has seen him in months and he thinks, _what if he's happy that I'm leaving?_

"I'm glad I caught you before you left," Christopher says, shoving his hands into his pockets, pulling something out.

"Uh, why?"

"Because I wanted to give you something. To say I'm sorry for being an asshole and the worst father ever."

Kendall's eyebrows knit together and he stares at his dad. "You're not the worst," he says, trying not to smile.

"Whatever," his dad says, waving a hand dismissively. "Here's my credit card; I want you to use it for whatever you need in Boston. There's a couple thousand dollar limit on it and it's brand new, never been used. Use it for gas on the way, for food - for whatever you need."

"You're bribing me... with money?"

"Not bribing, just offering financial stability until you can get a job."

A shiny blue piece of plastic is held under Kendall's nose and he takes it, carefully. "Thanks, I think."

"You're welcome. Now, don't go buying booze and shit with it, okay? That's the one stipulation with this card."

"I'm not even old enough to buy booze," Kendall points out, turning the card over in his fingers.

Christopher laughs and nods. "Well, then, don't ask someone legal to buy it for you."

"I won't." Kendall smiles and moves forward, giving his dad an awkward hug. "Thanks again."

"No problem, kiddo." Christopher hugs Kendall back and they ease apart when Jennifer comes in, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Aw, mom."

Jennifer shakes her head and sniffles, smiling sadly. "You should get going, you've got a couple more stops," she says, wringing her hands nervously.

"Yeah, I guess so." Sighing, Kendall pulls out his wallet and slips the credit card into the holder, looking at the picture of James he stowed away, biting his lip softly. "I actually have four stops to make," he says as he shuts his wallet and slips it back into his pocket.

"Then get going," Christopher says, clapping a hand on Kendall's shoulder. "Don't want to be late."

Kendall rolls his eyes and scoffs. "I don't have to be there at a set time. I could have left tomorrow and gotten there Sunday and it wouldn't have mattered much."

"No, your father is right." Jennifer comes forward and pulls Kendall into a hug. "Stop whenever you need to and don't drive too long, okay? Spend the night at a hotel so you don't get tired and fall asleep at the wheel."

"I will, mom."

"And call me whenever you stop for gas or anything, okay? Even if I don't answer, leave me a message so I know you're okay."

Nodding, Kendall smiles and pulls away. "Yes ma'am," he says and kisses his mom's cheek. "Gotta get going."

Jennifer lets go of Kendall and watches him walk out of the kitchen, stopping at the door to pull his shoes on and grab his book bag, tossing it over his shoulder. He turns to look back at his parents with a smile, lifting his hand to wave before grabbing the keys and opening the door; he stops when he hears his father call out.

"Be careful, son! We love you and," Christopher pauses, chews his lip, and then continues, "we're proud of you."

That makes Kendall turn back and smile, nodding at his parents before turning away and stepping out onto the porch. The door bangs shut behind him and he moves down the porch steps, heading toward his car; when he gets to it, Kendall turns back around and looks at his house, smiling before getting in behind the wheel. He sets his bag on the passenger seat and pulls his seat belt on before turning the engine on and putting the car in reverse, waving at his parents when they come out onto the porch.

Once Kendall's out in the street, he puts his car in drive and heads down the road, stopping at Camille's house. He parks in the driveway and leaves the car running when he gets out, going up to the porch, taking the steps quickly. With a heavy heart, he knocks on the door and scrubs a hand across the back of his neck, waiting for Camille to answer. When she comes to the door, Camille opens it and comes out, immediately throwing her arms around Kendall, holding onto him for dear life.

"I don't want to say goodbye," she says, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I don't either, but I have to."

Camille nods and sobs against his neck for a moment before pulling away. "Text me when you can, okay? And call me when you get there."

"I will, don't worry." Kendall moves his hands away and reaches behind his neck, unhooking a necklace. "I want you to have this, okay? It's just a dumb necklace, really, but I've had it for a long time. I was trying to think of something to give you and... well, this would look better on you than it would me, honestly."

"Kendall.." Camille starts but Kendall shakes his head, brushing her hair off her shoulders. "Thank you."

Smiling, Kendall puts the necklace on Camille and nods. "You're welcome," he says, looking at the simple small, silver cross hanging from her neck. "I've gotta get going, but I'll text you when I get out of the state, okay?"

"Okay." Huffing, Camille wraps her arms around Kendall again and holds onto him for a moment before letting go. "Drive safely."

"I will." Kendall smiles again and leans down, brushing his lips along Camille's cheek before stepping back and hopping down the steps, walking toward his car before stopping. "Hey Camille?" he calls out, turning on his heels to look at her.

"Yeah?"

Kendall lifts a hand and scrubs it over his cheek. "Do me a favor and make sure Carlos is okay, you know, after tonight."

"Logan and I are on it." Camille salutes and chuckles softly, biting at her lip. "Love you, Blondie."

"I love you too." Kendall grins and waves, going to his car before slipping in behind the wheel. He puts the car in reverse and waves to Camille before he backs out into the street, putting the car in drive. With one last wave, Kendall drives down the street and swallows thickly, trying to keep himself from crying as he drives, listening to something play on the radio.

The ride to the cemetery doesn't take long and when Kendall gets there, he sits in his car and stares at the graves, swallowing thickly. After a moment, he gets out and walks with his hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes going up and down the rows of tombstones. When Kendall gets to James', he kneels beside the headstone and rubs a hand down his face, sighing as he stares at James' name etched in the stone. His stomach twists and he feels like he could throw up but somehow manages to tamp the feeling down.

"So," Kendall starts, rubbing his hands together, "I just came here to talk and you don't have to say anything, alright?"

No answer; just the sound of the wind rustling through the trees a few yards away and cars driving down the road.

Kendall chuckles and shifts so that he's sitting cross-legged on the grass. "You were my first boyfriend and my first everything, really, and I loved you more than I could ever put into words. I'll always love you, I think, and I'll always hold a special place in my heart for you... even when I'm like, eighty and senile or some shit," he says, chuckling quietly as he folds his hands on his lap.

"I miss you so much, James," he continues, voice cracking, "and it hurts. Hurts  _every goddamn day_  but I - I don't let anyone see how badly it hurts because they would all worry. Carlos, Logan, Camille, my parents - they would all worry and ask questions; poke and prod until I finally broke down and cried or told them that I miss you. No one understands and they never will, no matter how many times they say they get it or that it'll be fine... it won't be. It won't stop hurting for a while and I know it's a fresh wound, but still.."

The wind kicks up and the leaves shake on the branches; Kendall looks up at them, smiles fondly.

"And I love you _so fucking_  much. Carlos understands, of course, but sometimes I find myself wishing that you had lived. That I had asked you to stay so you wouldn't have driven home drunk and that we could have had a second chance. I guess things just happen for a reason, right?" Kendall turns his head and looks at the headstone, leaning forward to trace James' name quietly. "I'm going to Boston today and this will be the last time I can come see you until probably December at the earliest, but you'll have your mom and everyone else to come here," he says, moving his hand to a bouquet of flowers standing in a vase beside the stone.

"People loved you, you know," he continues, fingering the petals slowly, "and they'll always love you." A red petal falls away and Kendall holds it, lets his fingertips brush over it slowly before flicking his gaze back to the headstone. "I know that I always will and it's going to be hard to forget you, you know. I mean, how can I forget someone who's impacted my life so goddamn much and who I loved more than anything?" Kendall drops the petal and watches it fall onto the patch of grass just in front of the grave marker, tears stinging his eyes as he sits there quietly, thinking of something else to say.

After a moment, Kendall sighs and wipes his eyes with the heel of his hand. "I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you died and that I didn't fight harder for you, because you know I would have... if you had just shown me a little more appreciation. Now that I know how you felt, I can forgive all of those awful things you did to me and I can just focus on the good things, though there weren't that many good moments, but you tried. I know you did."

A car horn off in the distance startles Kendall and he starts to laugh, tears and sobs mixing in. He slumps forward and buries his face in his hands, crying against his palms until the window blows a little harder, shaking the leaves again. Swallowing hard, Kendall drops his hands and looks up at the sky, biting at his lower lip thoughtfully before dropping his gaze again, looking at James' grave.

"I gotta go," he says, wiping his eyes again. "I'll see you soon, okay?" Kendall sits up on his knees and brings his hand to his lips, kissing his fingertips before pressing them against James' headstone, right underneath his name. "I love you," he whispers as he stands, shoving his hands into his pockets, looking at the grave one more time before walking around it.

By the time Kendall gets to his car, he feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders; he slides in behind the wheel, starts the engine, and looks back at the cemetery one last time, smiling sadly before pulling out onto the road. He drives to the high school next, hands tightening and relaxing on the steering wheel, his heart pounding in his chest.

When he gets to the school, Kendall parks near the front door and gets out, walking into the building with his hands in his pockets, fiddling with his keys as he walks down the hall. His footsteps echo throughout the hall and Kendall walks slowly, looking into rooms where he had class and biting his lip when he remembers random scenes from his years at the school. Eventually, though, Kendall makes his way to the boy's bathroom where he spent senior prom and he huffs quietly before pushing the door open and stepping inside.

A tidal wave of memories flood Kendall when he steps into the bathroom and he swallows hard, approaching the stall where he spent the entire senior prom, pushing the door open with shaky fingers. He steps into the stall half expecting to see the wall covered with a new layer of paint but he smiles broadly when he sees that the heart is still there. Biting his lip, Kendall pulls his phone out and takes a picture of the masterpiece on the wall, saving it before sliding the device back into his pocket, admiring the work for another moment.

Kendall leaves the bathroom and glances at himself in one of the mirrors, smiling at his reflection before leaving the bathroom and going back into the hall, fingertips running across the lockers as he walks by them. He steps outside and goes back to his car, leaning against the passenger side as he looks up at the building with a smile on his face, squinting his eyes just a bit to keep the sun out of them.

"Goodbye," Kendall says to the building as he pushes off the car and goes around the slide behind the wheel, starting the engine quickly. He doesn't look back as he pulls out of the lot and onto the main road, heading toward his final and most important stop of the day: Carlos' house.

The ride to Carlos' house is the worst; Kendall's palms are sweaty and his heart is pounding in his chest, breath catching in his throat when he turns onto Carlos' street. He slows the car down and pulls into the driveway, sitting in the car for a moment before turning the engine off and slipping out, letting the door shut as he makes his way to the house, stomach twisting. Taking in a deep breath, Kendall goes up the porch and knocks on the door, hands stuffed deep in his pockets and tears stinging his eyes.

Sylvia opens the door and gives Kendall a sad smile, opening her arms for a hug. "I guess this is goodbye," she says, wrapping her arms around him when he steps froward and hugs her, letting himself crumble just a little bit. "I wish you all the luck in Boston."

"Thank you," he squeaks out, holding onto Sylvia until she lets go. "Carlos...?"

"Upstairs, waiting for all of us to say goodbye first."

Kendall nods and sniffles, shuffling a little as he watches Miguel come out, smiling broadly. "Boston bound," he says, and Kendall nods, trying his best not to cry in front of Carlos' parents, but a few tears streak down his cheek. "Hey, no crying - cause if you cry? I'm going to cry and no one wants that."

"Sorry sir," Kendall mumbles, sniffling as he lifts a hand to wipe his nose. "Just... emotional, that's all."

"You have every right to be." Miguel steps forward and collects Kendall in his arms, holding him close; when Kendall feels his arms wrap around him he lets go and starts to sob, pressing his face against Miguel's shoulder. "It'll be okay, don't worry."

Shaking his head, Kendall grabs onto Miguel's shirt and holds on. "No, it won't," he sobs out, letting the tears fall harder when he feels a hand on the back of his head, working in small circles as one goes to his shoulder.

"Alex wants to say goodbye next, so you better stop crying. She's emotional as it is," Miguel explains, pulling away until Kendall is at arms length. "She can feel when Carlos is upset and she feeds off of that, I guess, and he's... well, he hasn't been good today."

"I know, it's all my fault."

Sylvia shakes her head and leans up, kissing Kendall's cheek. "It's not your fault, sweetheart," she whispers before pulling away, giving him a smile.

Alex walks into the room at that moment and Kendall turns to look at her, smiling through the tears. "So, you're leaving," she says.

"Yeah, kiddo, I'm leaving."

"Carlos is going to miss you."

Kendall chuckles brokenly and nods. "I'm going to miss him too," he croaks.

"And," Alex says, rocking back on her heels, "I'm going to miss you too."

"Me too," is all Kendall can say before Alex comes forward and wraps her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his chest.

They hug for a moment before Alex pulls back, smiling. "I want to give you something."

"Presents, for me?"

"Uh-huh," Alex says, before taking off the pink and black friendship bracelet she's wearing. "I want you to have it."

Biting his lip, Kendall holds his hand out and takes the bracelet. "It's beautiful," he says, smiling. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Kendall hugs Alex one more time and slips the bracelet on when she pulls away, smiling more. "Perfect fit."

"We'll leave you and Carlos alone now," Miguel says, putting a hand on his wife's shoulder and the other on the back of Alex's head.

"Okay." Kendall nods and smiles at them, watching as the family goes into the kitchen before he turns to go up the stairs. His footsteps sound louder with each step he takes and he feels like he's going to throw up at any moment but he tamps the feeling down when he gets to Carlos' room, sighing heavily. Lifting his hand, Kendall knocks on the door and then presses his palm flat against the wood, listening to Carlos' footsteps as he gets closer to the door.

Carlos opens it and looks at Kendall, nodding for him to come in. "Hi," he says, shutting the door behind Kendall.

"Hi."

"I see Alex gave you her bracelet," Carlos points out, touching Kendall's wrist.

Nodding, Kendall looks down and smiles sadly. "She did," he says, looking up at Carlos again. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I don't really have - "

Carlos leans in and kisses Kendall, silencing him. "I know," he whispers when they ease apart. "I want to give you some stuff, to remember me."

"I don't need stuff to  _remember_  you."

"Just take it, please?" Carlos asks, giving what Kendall thinks is a smile.

Kendall nods again and blinks back tears. "Okay."

With a heavy sigh, Carlos moves over to his bed and scoops something up, bringing it back to Kendall. "First, I want you to have this," he says, picking up silver linked bracelet. "It's not much, but it's my favourite piece of jewelry and you like bracelets, so.."

"I love it," Kendall says, taking it from Carlos with extra care.

"I'm glad you like it." Smiling softly, Carlos grabs the purple hoodie, holding it out to Kendall. "And that's my favourite hoodie."

Kendall takes the hoodie and bites his lip, smiling. "Why are you giving me your favourite one?"

"Because I love you and I want you to stay warm in Boston."

"Logical," Kendall says, smiling more as he leans down to kiss Carlos softly. "Thank you, baby."

Carlos nods and licks his lips slowly, scratching the top of his head. "You're welcome."

"I have something for you, too."

"Yeah?" Carlos asks, chewing the edge of his lip.

Laying his gifts down, Kendall shoves a hand into his pocket and grabs his class ring. "I figured I would be cheesy and give this to you before I left to like, symbolize the fact that I love you," he says, shrugging a shoulder as he holds it out to Carlos. "It might not fit."

"I'll wear it on a necklace if it doesn't." Carlos takes the ring and examines it, biting his lip a little harder before slipping it on his ring finger; there's a bit of room between the ring and his finger but it doesn't slide much, so Carlos grins. "Almost perfect," he says, looking up at Kendall.

"Good." Kendall chuckles and leans down, kissing Carlos again, licking his lips slowly before pulling back. "I should really get going.."

Carlos looks down and nods slowly, swallowing. "I know," he says, closing his eyes when he feels Kendall's hand cupping his chin. "Don't want you to."

"I know, baby, but... I have to leave now, or I'll never actually leave," Kendall whispers, brushing his thumb across Carlos' bottom lip. "I'll text you the moment I get out of state, okay?"

"Okay."

This is the moment Kendall's been dreading; he can hear how upset Carlos is and he swallows thickly, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend one last time. He makes the kiss slow and deepens it as much as possible, curling a hand around the nape of Carlos' neck, pulling him closer. Sighing quietly to himself, Kendall eases away from the kiss and rests his forehead against Carlos', moving a hand to cup his chin again, brushing his thumb across his skin slowly.

"I love you," he whispers, smiling softly when Carlos opens his eyes, brown irises settling on his own. "You are the _best_  thing that's come into my life in a really long time and I don't want to lose you. You mean  _everything_  to me, Carlos Garcia, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life if you'll allow it."

Swallowing thickly, Carlos closes his eyes and nods. "I will," he says.

"We'll figure this all out, I promise."

"I know."

Kendall kisses Carlos one last time and blinks tears away when he eases back. "I should go."

"Yeah," Carlos whispers, wrapping his arms around Kendall's neck, pulling him close. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Kendall says, wrapping Carlos in his arm and hugging him tightly.

Carlos holds on for a while before dropping his arms, turning his head to kiss the inside of Kendall's jaw. "Love you."

"Love you too." Kendall wraps his fingers around Carlos' and squeezes them. "I'll text you later and when I get to Boston, we'll Skype."

"Skype," Carlos parrots, his voice distant.

Sighing, Kendall brings Carlos' hand to his mouth and kisses his knuckles. "See you Litos," he whispers, dropping Carlos' hand.

"Bye baby."

Kendall bites down on his lip and moves to the bed to grab his things, kissing Carlos' cheek on his way to the door. He stops and turns around, looking at his boyfriend one last time and he thinks that maybe, if he listens hard enough, he can hear the sound of Carlos' heart breaking. A sobbing noise leaves his throat and Kendall turns away, stepping out into the hall quickly, moving toward the stairs before looking back. The only thing he can see is the door shutting and he closes his eyes for a second, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Sighing, Kendall goes down the stairs and clings to Carlos' things, just barely stumbling out onto the porch before all hell breaks loose. He sobs and lets more tears fall, his vision blurry as he walks to his car, the hoodie pressed tightly against his chest. Once he gets to his car, Kendall slides in behind the wheel and just stares at the house in front of him, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks as he cries silently, twisting the fabric of the hoodie between his hands.

It doesn't take long for Kendall's crying to cause a panic attack; he presses his forehead against the top of the steering wheel as he struggles to breathe, gasping loudly as he moves his hands to the dashboard. Kendall folds his arms over his head and tries to breathe, his chest tightening and his throat burning with each gasp and he lets out a sobbing noise whenever he manages to exhale. He struggles to pull in a full breath and he gets dizzy, his head feeling empty and light, his chest feeling like it's on fire.

Ten minutes later, Kendall calms down enough to put his things on the passenger seat; he looks down at the bracelet and runs his fingers over it before slipping it over his wrist and hooking it. Once that's done, he turns the engine on and looks back at the house, smiling sadly as he pulls out of the driveway, lifting a hand to wave at no one. He puts the car in drive and starts to pull away, feeling his chest tighten a little more until he can no longer see the Garcia house in his rear view.

Kendall drives out of town and, the second he crosses city lines, he feels like he can breathe better. He turns the radio on and plugs his iPod in, putting the music on shuffle as he continues to drive, saying goodbye to his home and everyone in it. By the time he gets three towns over, Kendall is feeling better than before but he also wants to cry every time he looks down at his wrist and sees Carlos' bracelet.

When Kendall crosses over into Wisconsin, several hours later, he pulls into a gas station and takes his phone out, sending a mass text to everyone - except for Carlos - saying that he's made it out of Minnesota. Once that message is sent, he pulls one up for Carlos and writes: 'I love you. Just made it to Wisconsin, can't get you off my mind. Hope you're okay.' He tosses his phone onto the seat when he's done and gets out to pump gas, looking out across the sky behind him, smiling fondly.

After putting a good chunk of distance between himself and home, Kendall stops at a hotel in Ohio for the night and he calls everyone when he gets situated. He talks to Camille, Logan, Jennifer, and saves Carlos for last, talking to him until he falls asleep on the phone. Kendall wakes up early in the morning when his phone's alarm goes off in his ear and he gets shitty coffee from the lobby of the hotel, chugging it all on his way to the car. He starts driving again and doesn't stop until he needs food or gas, stocking up on things to eat at the last gas station so he can cut down on time.

Finally, late on Saturday night, Kendall gets to Boston and he pulls into the parking lot of his apartment building, looking up at it in awe for a second. He gets out and goes through his backpack until he finds a pair of keys, slinging the bag over his shoulder once he's got them before locking his doors and jogging toward the stairs. Kendall's heart pounds wildly in his chest as he gets closer to his floor, his hands tightening around the keys in his palm, his other hand sweating profusely no matter how much he wipes it on his pant leg.

Kendall unlocks the door when he finds his apartment and pushes it open, knocking lightly as he steps in. "Hello?"

"Who's there?"

"Uh," Kendall says, shutting the door behind him as he steps inside. "Kendall Knight?"

Suddenly, a man steps in Kendall's line of sight and he smiles. "Oh, one of my roommates?"

"Guess so. Who are you?"

"Josh," he says, coming over with his hand extended. "I'm one of your roommates."

Kendall chuckles and slips his hand into Josh's. "Nice to meet you," he says, looking around curiously. "Where's the other guy?"

"Oh, Dustin? I don't think he'll be in until tomorrow." Josh shrugs his shoulders and smiles. "Come on, I'll show you to your room."

"Thanks," Kendall says, wrapping his hand around the strap of his bag.

Josh leads Kendall through the living room and into the small hallway, motioning toward a door at the end. "Your room," he says as they move closer to it and he opens the door, reaching a hand in to flip the light on. "It's the biggest one, I think."

"Wow, really?" Stepping into the room, Kendall sees all of his things are already there. "Not bad."

"Yeah," Josh agrees, leaning against the door jamb. "Do you need help with your stuff?"

Smiling, Kendall nods and he sets his book bag down on the floor, moving to join Josh at the door. The two of them go downstairs and start hauling his things up to their apartment, putting it all in Kendall's room. It only takes them a few trips and Kendall thanks Josh when they've gotten everything in, giving the other boy a broad smile.

That night, Kendall unpacks what he needs and makes a bed on the floor with blankets. Once everything is set up and he's in his pajamas, Kendall falls onto his makeshift bed and grabs his laptop, opening it quickly before settling it on his knees. He logs onto Skype (thank god for their neighbor's WiFi) and starts a conversation with Carlos, who requests a video chat.

Kendall talks to Carlos, Logan, and Camille for a while before hanging up and going to bed in his new place. It feels weird being so far away from home but Kendall knows that he can do it, so long as he doesn't let his home life affect his college life. It doesn't take him long to fall asleep in his new apartment and Kendall sleeps peacefully throughout the night.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: smoking, talk of underage drinking.]

Waking up in a new place for the first time confuses Kendall and he pushes himself up into a sitting position the moment he's awake, looking around the room to figure out where the hell he is. When he realizes that he's in his new apartment in Boston - fucking  _Boston_! - and not in his room in Minnesota, Kendall laughs quietly at himself and drags a hand through his hair. He yawns loudly, pushes the blankets off his legs, and grabs his phone, smiling at the notification that tells him he has several text messages. Most of them are from Carlos - claims that he can't sleep and that he misses Kendall - but a few are from Camille and Logan, saying good morning.

After texting his friends back, Kendall gets to his feet and slips his phone into the pocket of his pajama pants, stretching and groaning before going to grab Carlos' hoodie. He slips it on over top of his tank top and rolls the sleeves up around his elbows, zipping it halfway on his way to the door. The first thing Kendall smells when he opens the door is coffee and he moans happily, stomach grumbling as he leaves his room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

The smell of coffee gets stronger the further down the hall he goes and when Kendall steps out into the living room, he gets assaulted by the scent. After thanking the gods of housing for granting him with an awesome roommate and running both hands over his hair to flatten it, Kendall walks into the kitchen where Josh is standing with another guy, the two of them talking quietly. When he gets closer, Kendall clears his throat and shoves a hand into the pocket of his pajama pants, idly scratching the back of his head with the other.

Josh turns around and grins at Kendall. "Kendall! What's up, man?"

"Nothing, just got up." Kendall laughs softly and shoves his other hand into his pocket, shrugging. "What's up with you?"

"Just making some coffee - hope you like it, by the way - and talking to our other roomy, Dustin," Josh says, making a sweeping motion to the guy standing next to him and Kendall looks at him, swallowing thickly.

The first word that comes to Kendall's mind when he sees Dustin is gorgeous and he is - with his dark brown hair, scruffy face, brown eyes, hipster glasses, and the outfit he's wearing which, in Kendall's mind, is a little too nice for a 'moving day' ensemble. His eyes rove over the other boy's outfit - a pair of tight jeans, a black and blue plaid shirt with a charcoal gray vest over top - and he finds himself biting his lower lip and thanking the housing gods, again, for granting him an awesome roommate and a hot one.

Dustin smiles brightly at Kendall and lifts a hand, scratching at the stubble covering his jaw. "Hey," he says and,  _god_ , his voice is sexy.

"What's up? It's nice to meet you," Kendall says, pulling a hand out of his pocket as he walks forward, extending it to Dustin. "Did you just move in this morning?"

"Yeah, hope we didn't wake you." With a laugh, Dustin slides his hand into Kendall's and grips it tightly. "And it's nice to meet you too. I'm not going to lie... I thought you were a girl when I first heard your name," he says, laughing as they drop their hands.

Kendall laughs and scratches the back of his neck, shaking his head slowly. "No, you guys didn't wake me up. I slept like the dead because I drove all the way from Minnesota last night," he says, raising a brow when Dustin and Josh whistle at the same time. "What?"

"You drove _all the way_  from Minnesota in one night?" Josh asks, turning to grab three coffee cups from a box sitting on the counter.

"Not in  _one_  night, no," Kendall says, shrugging again. "It took me more than that. I started my journey on Friday, actually."

"So, you're from Minnesota," Dustin says, pointing at Kendall before turning the finger on himself, "and I'm from Pennsylvania... so where's Josh from?"

Laughing, Josh pours coffee into the three mugs and turns back to his roommates. "I'm actually from around here," he answers.

"Oh," Kendall says, laughing. "That makes sense, duh."

"So Kendall's the one furthest from home. Must suck, dude." Dustin gives Kendall a grin and grabs a cup of coffee.

The three of them laugh together and Kendall just nods as he makes his way to the counter, grabbing a mug. "What do you guys play?"

"Bass and drums," Josh says, hopping up onto the counter before grabbing his mug. "And a little bit of guitar, not much."

Dustin nods his head and swallows a huge mouthful of coffee. "I play guitar, mostly, but I can do other things if I put effort into it... and I sing. What about you, Kendall, what do you play?"

"Guitar, drums, piano, and I sing," he answers, wrapping both hands around his cup before taking a big sip.

"We can totally start a band." Josh laughs and nudges Kendall with his leg. "So, how'd you sleep?"

Shrugging, Kendall looks down at his cup and bites at his lower lip. "I slept well, I guess, but it was kind of hard to wake up in a place that wasn't my home, you know?" Josh and Dustin nod and murmur softly in agreement. "And there's something you guys should know off the bat," he says, looking up at his roommates with a small grin.

"You're not a serial killer are you?" Josh asks, playfully moving away.

"Or Chuck Norris in disguise?" Dustin gasps.

"A Chuck Norris disguised serial killer!"

Kendall laughs and shakes his head. "No, it's nothing like that, I swear. It's just something that I didn't make public back at home and I want to be upfront with everyone I meet here, instead of hiding things about my self."

"So, you're really a girl?" Dustin asks and Kendall rolls his eyes. "A robot?"

"No," he laughs again, setting his cup down on the counter. "I'm gay."

Josh and Dustin share a look before turning back to Kendall; Josh is the first one to speak. "Dude, that's it?"

"Yeah, why? Please don't tell me you guys are homophobic assholes because I've had enough of that shit." Kendall cringes at the memories.

"Dude, I don't care who you fuck or don't fuck." Scooting toward Kendall, Josh sets his coffee down and wraps an arm around his shoulders. "I think it's great! Most of my friends are gay - or bisexual - and I love them just the same."

Nodding in agreement, Dustin grins and licks his lips slowly. "And since we're spilling secrets," he says, running a hand along his jaw, "I'm bisexual."

"Good, you guys can help me score chicks! Having gay friends is great for that."

"Really?" Kendall says and he can't stop himself from laughing. "As long as you're alright with it."

"I'm perfectly fine with is, as long as I don't find a half naked man in my kitchen one morning," Josh says and then he backtracks. "Actually, wait, no - it would depend on what he's making. If it's anything sweet or with bacon, he can be naked in the kitchen. Though, why would you be naked and make bacon? That's dangerous."

Kendall snorts and elbows Josh in the ribs playfully. "You won't find any naked guys in the kitchen," he says as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Why? You celibate?" Dustin asks, arching a brow.

"No, I have a boyfriend back at home." Kendall feels his cheeks grow hot and he bites his lip.

"Aw, what's his name?" Josh moves his arm away from Kendall and picks his cup up again.

"Carlos," Kendall answers, almost immediately, smiling brightly. "His name is Carlos."

The atmosphere in the room is comfortable and Kendall decides that he likes his new roommates; Dustin and Josh remind him of Carlos and Logan and that makes things a little easier, but also make it a little worse. He drinks his coffee silently and sets the mug down into the sink, stretching slightly as he turns back to his roommates, smiling. They smile back at him and Kendall thinks that he's going to like Boston, for the most part.

"So," he starts, bringing his arms back behind his head, "I need to go get a mattress and some other things. Do either of you want to come with me? I'll buy breakfast on the way for anyone and everyone that comes along."

Josh finishes his coffee and jumps onto the floor. "I'm down," he says, putting the dish into the sink.

"I guess I could be persuaded with breakfast," Dustin murmurs, laughing quietly. "Whose car are we taking?"

"I drive a Honda," Josh offers, shrugging a shoulder.

Dustin crosses his arms over his chest and looks between Josh and Kendall. "I drive a Ford."

"We should take one of your cars, then." Kendall bites down on his lip and tugs at the sleeve of his jacket.

"Why, what kind of car do you have?" Dustin asks, brows knitting together.

Kendall clears his throat and blushes. "An Audi A5," he answers, wrinkling his nose.

"I knew it was an Audi!" Josh laughs and claps his hands together. "I vote Kendall's car. Who's with me?"

"Audi? Wow," Dustin whistles, shaking his head. "I'm with Josh on this; your car sounds much better than ours."

That makes Kendall's cheeks burn a little more and he nods slowly, swallowing hard. "Alright, just give me a few minutes to get ready."

"Take your time, dude." Josh moves past him and claps a hand on Kendall's shoulder, smiling. Dustin follows suit and bumps their shoulders together as he walks by before moving into the living room... and it takes an embarrassingly long time for Kendall to move out of his spot.

Once he moves out of the kitchen, Kendall goes to take a quick shower; he changes into a pair of tight jeans, letting them ride low on his hips, and a baggy Incubus t-shirt. He grabs his keys when he's done and runs a hand through his damp hair, moving through the hallway and into the living room, moving to the back of the couch to poke at Dustin's cheek.

"Ready," he says, grinning as he moves away from the couch.

Dustin and Josh follow Kendall out of the apartment and down to the parking lot; Dustin whistles when he sees Kendall's car and that only makes him blush harder. Chewing nervously on his lower lip, Kendall unlocks the doors and gets into the driver's seat, letting his roommates figure out who gets the front and who's stuck in the back. In the end, Dustin sits in the backseat because he's shorter than Josh is and they set off to do some shopping; they take a quick detour for breakfast and then head to the mattress depot.

At the mattress store, Kendall and Dustin try out several different beds - jumping on them, laying down on them, bouncing on them - before Kendall picks one and pays for it. He gives the sales clerk his address and they assure him that the mattress will be delivered by the end of the day and the three roommates leave that store to go to the next. They end up going to a department store and Josh goes his own way, leaving Kendall alone with Dustin and the two of the walk aimlessly around the store, Dustin trying to navigate a shopping cart and nearly running into things.

Several hours later, they arrive back at their apartment and Kendall takes his things inside, intent on getting all of his things put away and organized. It doesn't take long for him to put his clothes away and he dumps his shoes at the bottom of his closet, crushing box after box until there's a stack of them against the door. Dustin and Josh stop by his room and offer to help, but Kendall waves them off with a smile, ensuring them that he's got it under control. By the time he's done, Kendall is in need of a smoke, so he grabs his cigarettes and lighter, shoving them into his pocket as he goes to the door, collecting the boxes.

"Hey, get everything done?" Dustin asks as Kendall moves down the hallway and he stops, nodding his head slowly. "Want some help?"

"That'd be great." Huffing out a quiet laugh, Kendall hands half the stack of boxes to Dustin. "I was going out for a smoke, and to throw these away," he says, mentally kicking himself for stating the fucking obvious.

Dustin nods and follows Kendall out of the apartment. "Can I bum a smoke off you?"

"Sure," Kendall answers as they make their way to the steps, going down them quickly. When they get to the bottom, Kendall goes over to the huge dumpster against the side of the building and tosses the boxes inside. He takes his cigarettes and lighter out when the boxes are thrown away, taking two cigarettes out before putting them between his lips. After flicking the lighter a couple of times, Kendall cups a hand over the end of both cigarettes and lights them, handing one to Dustin.

"Thanks." With a smile, Dustin takes the smoke and puts it between his lips, long fingers wrapping around the filter. He takes a drag and Kendall can't help but watch the way his cheeks hollow as he does. "So, tell me about you," he says, as he blows smoke into the air.

Kendall takes a drag, pulls the cigarette away, and tips his head back to let the smoke escape his slightly parted lips. "I'm eighteen, freshly graduated, gay as can be, and I want to make people happy with my music," he answers, crossing an arm over his chest, tucking his hand underneath his armpit.

"More than that," Dustin encourages, giving Kendall a smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle.

"My mom's a nurse," Kendall says before putting the filter between his lips and taking another drag; he exhales slowly and continues, "dad's a prick and a lawyer, which goes hand in hand, right?" Dustin laughs and nods, the tip of his cigarette glowing orange as he inhales. "I like to drink and, in addition to smoking these little filthy, habit-inducing sticks, I love to smoke pot."

Grinning, Dustin blows smoke out and narrows his eyes a bit. "Nice," he says, laughing quietly.

"What about you?"

"Well, my name is Dustin Weiss and I'm twenty years old. Born and raised in Pittsburgh but I'm not a Steelers fan," he answers, flicking his ashes onto the concrete. "I like to drink and smoke, as well, along with about a hundred million different things. My mom is a stay-at-home mother to my younger brother and sister, my father is a dentist, which explains my perfectly straight smile."

Nodding, Kendall flicks his own ashes and grins. "Sounds good. Why aren't you a Steelers fan?"

"I hate 'em," Dustin says, grinning back at Kendall. "Are you a Vikings fan?" Kendall shakes his head and they both laugh. "Exactly."

They smoke in silence for a moment and Kendall tosses his cigarette onto the ground, stomping it out with the heel of his shoe. "So, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend back at home?"

"I did, but we broke up before I came here. He said 'the distance was too much' and I thought he was a dumbass because it's not that far."

"Closer than Minnesota," Kendall points out, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Dustin nods and smiles. "Definitely."

A truck pulls into the parking lot and Kendall looks at it, smirking when he sees the mattress store's logo on the side. He points at it and Dustin turns to look, nodding his head slowly, waiting for the truck to park. When it comes to a stop, they head over together and Kendall talks to the driver, both of them helping him take the damn thing up the stairs and into the apartment. After three more trips, Kendall tips the driver and Dustin helps him take the bed into his room to assemble it.

When the bed is finally put together, Kendall and his roommates go out to dinner and get to know each other a little better. He learns that Josh is the oldest of all of them - twenty two - and that he really likes to drink, so it doesn't take much persuading from Dustin and Kendall to get him to agree to buy some alcohol so they can christen their new apartment.

Later that night, the three of them get drunk and sit out on the balcony of their apartment, passing a bottle of Whiskey around. They spill secrets to each other and laugh at stories from their past and home before going inside and calling it a night. Kendall calls Carlos before going to bed and listens to him talk until he falls asleep, waking up with the phone plastered to his ear and the light sound of his boyfriend's snoring coming from the speaker.

Kendall hangs up and rolls out of bed, immediately going to the bathroom to throw up. After he's done, he goes out into the kitchen and grabs a cup of coffee, nodding his head at Dustin, who's leaning against the counter holding a hand against his forehead. He takes his coffee back to his room and sits in the middle of his bed, looking around at the space as he drinks idly, making slightly erotic noises when the warm liquid slides down his throat.

A few hours later, when they're not all hungover, the three of them go to their orientation at the school and take a tour. It's a huge nerd experience for Kendall and he can't contain his excitement when they're shown around, nearly squealing and giggling at over half the things their tour guide says and points out. By the end of the tour, Dustin and Josh are making fun of him so much that Kendall's afraid that his face will be a permanent shade of crimson.

They go back to the apartment after getting their class info and meeting with some of their teachers; Kendall's already in love with his classes and the people teaching him, his body thrumming in anticipation the whole way home. When they get to the apartment, the three of them go into the living room and Kendall sprawls out on the floor next to Dustin, his laptop sitting in front of him. He Skypes with his mom and Camille, introducing them both to his roommates and laughing when his mom says that they're cute out loud.

After a while, Josh and Kendall go to the grocery store and they nearly buy one of everything, piling bags into the backseat and trunk of Josh's Honda; it's still not enough room and Kendall rides home with bags on the floorboard between his legs, some of them on his lap. It takes all three of them to haul everything inside and they work on putting the groceries away together, their apartment feeling more and more like a home - now that they have food and there aren't boxes laying around everywhere.

Kendall makes dinner for them and they eat together in the living room while they watch a movie, all three of them laughing and commenting on the same thing. After they've eaten, Josh washes the dishes and Kendall tells his roommates goodnight before heading into his room, yawning loudly until he's behind the door. he grabs his laptop, opens it, and starts Skype while he changes into his pajamas; the second he pulls a shirt over his head, a noise alerts Kendall that someone's requesting a video chat and he smiles when he sees that it's Carlos.

Carlos and Kendall talk for a long time, mostly about how Kendall's orientation went and how everyone is adjusting to him being gone. He feels better when he sees Carlos but he also misses him like crazy, his heart breaking a little whenever he sees his boyfriend's eyes glaze over with tears. Kendall eventually hangs up and tells Carlos he'll call him the next day before going to bed, staring at the wall until his eyes close and he falls asleep.

**x x**

A week later, Kendall starts school and he develops a routine. During the morning, Kendall has class and he goes home after that to fuck around in the apartment before his afternoon classes. He goes to those, comes home, does whatever schoolwork he needs to do before going online to Skype with Carlos, his face instantly brightening Kendall's day, even if it was perfect. They talk for a while - sometimes a few hours - before Kendall hangs up and goes to sleep, repeating the process over the following day.

Kendall gets closer to his roommates and he makes quick friends in his classes; sometimes people will come over and Josh will push the furniture around to make room for everyone. They'll bring their instruments and everyone will play together until the neighbors start to complain; after that, they all sit around and talk about music, instruments, what life was like back at home, and the classes they're taking.

Life for Kendall is easy and he gets less and less homesick each day. The only time he really misses home is when he video chats with his friends and family, seeing their faces makes his heart ache to be back in Minnesota, but he keeps himself busy with schoolwork. In between classes and assignments, Kendall writes music in a beat up old journal he found laying in the parking lot one day. It's a moleskin and Kendall keeps all of his private songs in there, stowing the book away underneath his mattress where no one can find it.

Things with Carlos get better... and then they get worse. They go from texting each other constantly, to never really texting at all; calling each other every night - on Skype or the phone - to only doing it a couple times a week. Kendall figures that Carlos is busy doing things to keep his mind off of missing him, like he does with Carlos, so he doesn't worry about it much... until the calls and texts stop completely. The day the texts and calls stop is the day that Kendall worries if maybe it's too much for Carlos to handle. He asks Camille and Logan if they know what's wrong with Carlos and neither of them have an answer.

One day Camille promises to talk to Carlos and she manages to make things better; they go back to video chatting together mostly every other night and texting each other during the day. Things are good until Kendall talks about his plans to come home for Christmas and then Carlos just stops responding to his texts or calls and he stops getting online. When that happens, Kendall just gives up; he throws in the towel and calls Carlos one night, leaving him a message that says: "I'm coming home for Christmas and I want to see you, but obviously you don't want to do this anymore. That's alright with me, but I wish you had said something. I love you, Carlos, and I always will. I'm sorry things happened this way."

Kendall becomes an introvert after that; he only goes out of the apartment when he needs to and only talks to his family and roommates. He does his schoolwork on time and continues writing, jotting down every song lyric he can think of, sometimes just writing his thoughts down instead and that turns into a song.

By the time Kendall's ready to go home for Christmas, he doesn't even want to make the trip. He tells Dustin about it one night when they're drinking and his roommate tells him to stay home if he doesn't feel like going, and that's exactly what Kendall does. Instead of worrying about going home to face Carlos and his family, Kendall drinks and ends up kissing Dustin by the end of the night. The two of them end up in bed together and Kendall spends the night curled up against his friend's side, babbling drunkenly.

After that first night, Dustin and Kendall become a thing. No one knows if they're dating, in a real relationship, or if they're just sleeping together but whatever it is, Kendall's thankful for it. He really likes Dustin and the other boy is a good distraction from the thoughts rattling around in Kendall's brain, keeping him from dwelling on the fact that the love of his life left him without a single word.

Two weeks into their "relationship," Kendall tells Dustin everything about James and what happened to him. A few days later, the older man drags him to a tattoo shop to get a memorial piece for him and Kendall ends up getting a blue diamond tattooed behind his ear with James' initials written in their old school colours. When the tattoo is done and he's looking at it for the first time, Kendall feels like he's gotten more closure from doing it and he feels closer to Dustin after sharing his story and getting the tattoo.

Kendall also smokes and drinks more but it doesn't affect his schoolwork or dedication. Despite the drinking, Kendall is at the top of his class and he excels in everything he does, pouring his heart and soul into it all. His teachers praise him on his work and continue to be surprised at the level and skill he preforms in, holding his work in example for other students. Kendall is proud of himself for doing so well and he eventually starts to forget about his problems with Carlos, leaving all the drama behind for school and Dustin.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: self-loathing, cuddle piles because that shit is cute, bro cuddles, Kendall being dumb (sorry boo), random bar sex.]

_[Carlos]_

In mid September, it finally hits Carlos that things with Kendall are over. He knew, in the beginning, that he couldn't handle the long distance thing but he was selfish, wanting to keep Kendall until he couldn't anymore. Carlos held onto him as long as he could, trying desperately to make thing work between them but it wasn't the same. He let Kendall slide through his fingertips, allowed him to disappear from his life without fighting or even trying to make things work. In Carlos' mind, he's a failure and Kendall deserves someone better than him.

Camille and Logan try to make things better; they're around him when he's too depressed to even leave his house and they lay in bed with him, Camille running her fingers through his hair, and Logan trying to give him a pep talk. As much as he loves his friends, Carlos knows that it's going to take a while for things to get better because he was so in love with Kendall that even thinking about him makes his heart ache. And, it's not like Carlos wants to be broken up with Kendall because, really, he doesn't. That is number one on his list of things he doesn't want, but there's nothing he can do about it now. He knows that he's fucked everything up and he doesn't know where to even begin fixing things between the two of them.

So, for Carlos things get shittier and shittier, but he tries to work through it and he does his best to put on a smile for his family and friends. He goes to work, comes home, smiles and jokes around with his family before going to his room where he can be alone. That's when he breaks down and lets himself drown in the pain and self-loathing he feels.

**[January]**

One afternoon, Carlos comes in from work and he goes upstairs, feet dragging the entire way. He passes by his sister's room and she's singing quietly to some song he's heard a hundred times and part of him wants to stop, wants him to go spend time with Alex in an attempt to maybe make himself feel better, but he doesn't. Instead, Carlos goes to his room, shuts the door behind him, and tears his coveralls off, tossing them onto the floor along with his shoes. The clatter to the ground but he barely notices it, thought cloudy as he goes over to his bed to lay down and stretch across the mattress, sighing heavily as he stares at the ceiling.

It's not long before there's a knock on the door and Carlos throws an arm over his eyes, calling out, "Come in!"

"Hey, babe." Camille steps into the room and shuts the door behind her, both hands wrapped around the knob as she chews on her lower lip, looking at the bed where Carlos is stretched out. "Logan will be here in a little bit. We were hoping you'd want to come ice skating with us," she says, smiling softly though she knows that Carlos can't see her.

"And be the third wheel? No thanks."

Sighing, Camille comes forward and moves onto the bed, kneeling beside Carlos on the mattress. "You won't be the third wheel," he says, folding both of her hands on her lap, biting at her lip harder. "Please?"

"He said he was coming home," Carlos says, without further explanation, as he pulls his arm away from his face. "And he didn't."

"I know." There's a softness in Camille's voice that makes Carlos' heart ache a little more. "But that doesn't mean you have to be cooped up in the house, you know," she says as she shifts to lay next to him. "Come with us, please."

Carlos sighs heavily and turns onto his side to look at her, shaking his head. "I'm not ready," he mumbles, blinking back tears.

"Why not?"

"Because," Carlos starts, pausing to bite his lip before continuing, "I'm just not. It feels so fucking new, Camille."

Camille nods her head and scoots closer until the tip of her nose is pressed against Carlos'. "And I can guarantee that you will feel better if you go out and live. Logan and I worry about you, honey, and it's starting to get scary. You go to work, come home, and we never see you outside of these four walls. If I want to see you in the real world, I have to bring my car in for an oil change or something," she says, lifting a hand to touch Carlos' cheek.

Her words sink in and Carlos closes his eyes, just barely tilting into Camille's touch, feeling her warm skin brushing along his own. Now he realizes why Logan loves her and he smiles softly, blinking his eyes open so that they're settled on her face. Camille's smiling and moving her fingers along his jaw, giving light, comforting touches that remind him of Kendall, but Carlos isn't going there. He's not going to compare his friend to his ex, not now.

"Okay, but if I feel third wheel-ish, I'm leaving."

"You won't, I promise." Camille leans up and forward, planting a kiss to Carlos' forehead.

When she pulls back, Carlos can't help but smile broadly and he closes his eyes again, burying his face against the crook of Camille's neck, breathing in deeply. It's not romantic or anything Logan should be worried about; for Carlos, the closeness is comforting and it helps him heal, helps him forget that he hates himself and that all he wants to do is scream. Camille is a good anchor for Carlos and he's thankful for her - and Logan - because without them, he probably would have done something stupid by now.

They lay together quietly for a while and Camille starts to hum to Carlos, her fingers dragging along the shell of his ear before going to his hair, carding through the short locks slowly. He shifts closer, slides a hand onto her side, and breathes gently against her neck, every touch of Camille's fingers against his scalp calming him down more.

Logan finds them like that half an hour later and he climbs onto the bed behind Carlos, sandwiching him in between himself and Camille. Carlos can feel his best friend's head against the back of his own, a comforting hand sliding up and down his forearm, and he wants to cry because he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the care and love that Camille and Logan are showing him but, fuck, he needs it so goddamn much.

"Ready to go?" Logan whispers after a while, laying his hand against the bend of Carlos' elbow.

Carlos nods his head and swallows hard. "Gotta change my clothes," he says, words muffled by Camille's skin.

"You're fine in the clothes you have on, silly." With a small giggle, Camille leans down and kisses just beneath Carlos' hairline. "We'll go ice skating, fall on our asses a dozen or so times, then go out for coffee and go back to Logan's for a movie, how's that sound?"

"Sounds like a cheesy date you'd see in a romance movie," Carlos grumbles, laughing when Logan pinches his side. "Okay, okay, lemme up so I can put my shoes on, god."

Instead of letting Carlos up, Camille and Logan close in on him from both sides and hug him tight. It nearly knocks the breath out of him and he makes an 'oof' noise when Logan squeezes just a little too tight. Eventually, though, they pull away and get off the bed, allowing Carlos to get up and put his shoes on, pulling them on quickly as he grumbles about stupid cuddle piles.

"You love them," Logan says, ruffling Carlos' hair a bit.

Grumbling more, Carlos smacks his hand and then laughs. "I do, but they don't have to be all intimate with your dick against my ass, do they?"

"My dick was _not_  against your ass."

"Totally was, dude!" Carlos goes to grab his jacket and shrugs into it, zipping it up. "And I think I felt something there, just saying."

Logan pouts and shoves his hands into his coat pockets. "I'm straight," he says, setting his jaw.

"We know, honey." Camille goes over, kisses Logan quickly, and pats him on the cheek. "I also know that if you were to have a gay experience, that you would totally hit Carlos. Don't worry, I would too - if I were a boy, that is," she says, giggling at Logan's blush.

After that, Camille and Carlos leave the room, laughing quietly to one another as Logan follows them, grumbling about how some things are a secret and how some people shouldn't spill them. Carlos is still laughing when they get outside and he picks on Logan, feeling better about himself than he has in weeks, allowing himself to laugh and smile and to come out of the shell he's worked himself into for so long.

Ice skating ends up being a disaster because Carlos falls on his ass too many times to make it funny; Camille tries to help him but she keeps falling down as well, and Logan just stands off to the side, embarrassed. They stay at the rink for a while, though, despite the fact that Carlos can't stay on his feet for more than thirty seconds without crumbling to the ground and they leave after they're all good and bruised up. Coffee is a better idea and they avoid the coffee place Kendall used to take Carlos, trying out a new spot in town. The coffee is good and so is the atmosphere - the shop is warm and homey, giving Carlos a feeling of peace and calmness.

After coffee, they head to Logan's place and Camille goes to pick a movie while Logan and Carlos shove firewood into the fireplace. A fire is roaring a half an hour later and they all pile onto the couch, holding onto one another as they watch some sappy movie that Camille picked and Logan swears up and down that he has no idea where it came from.

Once the movie is done, Carlos carries Camille up to Logan's bed and tucks her in, kissing her forehead and whispering a quiet 'thank you' before leaving the room. He goes downstairs and falls onto the couch with Logan again, stretching out before laying an arm across the back of the couch, staring blankly at the TV. Logan doesn't say anything, just pulls Carlos in for a hug and holds onto him until he starts to break down; he runs a hand down his best friend's head, shushing him quietly, and Carlos just lets go. It's not embarrassing or girly, just something that Carlos needs and Logan's the one that gives it to him.

* * *

_[Kendall][January]_

Boston in the wintertime is one of the most gorgeous things that Kendall has ever seen in his entire life. Sometimes he finds himself standing out on the balcony in the middle of the night, looking down at the parking lot and the white blanket of snow covering it, the streetlights glowing down on it. He'll leave Dustin's bed, pull on the other boy's jacket, slip on a pair of shoes, and go outside for a smoke, the gray contrasting against the deep, rich blue colour of the sky. Most nights, Dustin will get out of bed and find Kendall leaning against the rail of the balcony with a cigarette in his hand, smoke billowing off the end and going toward the sky, his head tipped back as he's looking at the stars. They stand out there for a while until it gets too cold and then go back inside; Kendall will dream of the snow and the sky and the stars shining bright and it always ends with him dreaming of Carlos.

One snowy morning, Kendall is sitting at the kitchen table with his journal laid out in front of him and a cup of coffee steaming next to it. He's got his knees bent and drawn to his chest, feet planted firmly on the cushion of the chair, wiggling his pen back and forth, listening to the sound it makes when it hits his knuckles or the side of his fingers. When he can't think of lyrics or anything to write, Kendall looks up and stares out the balcony door, watching snowflakes flutter down from the sky and it makes him smile. He's the only one awake in the apartment and he takes solace in the silence, reveling in how peaceful and quiet everything is.

A few moments later, a door opens and Kendall looks up from his writing to see Dustin step into the living room. He's smiling lazily and stretching, moving a hand down to scratch as his lower abdomen where his shirt is riding up. Yawning loudly, Dustin moves over to where Kendall is sitting and he kisses his cheek lightly, his scruff rubbing against the younger man's skin before he pulls away and goes over to the coffee maker to start a pot.

"I can't wait for break to end," Kendall grumbles, putting the end of his pen between his teeth, staring at the half-written song in front of him. "I'm so ready to get back to working on my music. Aren't you?"

Dustin makes a noncommittal noise as he pours water into the machine before setting the pot back down. "I'm not that excited to go back."

"Why not?"

"Because not everyone is as excited about school as you are," Dustin answers, turning to lean back against the counter when the coffee starts to drip.

Pouting, Kendall turns to look at Dustin, tapping the end of the pen against his lower lip. "I like school, I can't help it."

"Of course you like it - you're doing better than any of us." That makes Kendall blush and he looks down at the tiles. "Besides, I've kind of always hated school and, yeah, I love music but this school sucks sometimes," Dustin says, yawning quietly. _  
_

"Someone's just grumpy because they haven't had their coffee yet," Kendall sing-songs, grinning as he turns back to his journal. "So, I was thinking about going home for spring break, seeing as I didn't go back for Christmas. My mom's still upset about that, by the way."

There's a quiet hum from Dustin and he laughs. "I'm going home for spring break too," he says, rolling his neck to crack it. "Either that or I'm going to go to Florida with some old friends of mine."

"Florida, really?"

"It's spring break capitol of the world, don't you know."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head, scribbling down a few words. "I know, I just thought you'd be against all of that," he says.

"It's partying," Dustin says, pushing off the counter to move behind Kendall, "and it's hot girls in bikinis, beers, and a beach."

"Bikinis, eh?" Arching a brow, Kendall pushes his journal shut and looks at Dustin. "I thought you weren't into that."

Dustin grins and shrugs, running a hand over his jaw, scratching at his stubble. "I am a man, you know."

"So am I, but I don't like girls in bikinis," Kendall points out as he drops his legs and presses his feet against the floor.

"Then there's something wrong with you." Chuckling, Dustin leans down to kiss Kendall's lips softly. "Need coffee."

Rolling his eyes and sighing, Kendall turns back to his journal, putting the band back in place. "You're such a caveman."

All Dustin does is laugh and swat Kendall's ass when he stands up, acting offended when he flips him the bird. Kendall shakes his head and walks backwards into the hallway before going to his room, immediately shoving his journal under the mattress before grabbing his phone. He unlocks it quickly and scrolls through his text messages, frowning at ones from Camille and Logan who both tell him that Carlos isn't doing well. Chewing on his lower lip, Kendall texts Camille and asks if Carlos is sick or something, tapping his fingers against the side of the case before getting an answer  _('No, not sick physically, just emotionally. He misses you, we all do.'_ ) Kendall replies with an  _'I'm sorry'_  before shutting his phone off.

* * *

_[Carlos] [March]_

When spring rolls around, everyone starts buzzing about how Kendall is coming home and just hearing his name makes Carlos sick. He asks for time off and empties his savings account, packs a bag of necessities and throws it in the car before leaving. He doesn't have a set destination on where he wants to go, just knows that he doesn't want to be around when Kendall comes home. He can't be, not now.

So, Carlos drives out southeast and ends up in Illinois. He decides to stay there and he holes up in some no-name motel in a town outside of Chicago, seeing the sights and everything he can. While he's there, Carlos turns his cell phone off and starts leaving it back in his room, not needing to hear his mom cry and tell him to come home, because he knows that he will in a heartbeat. He also doesn't need Camille and Logan texting him to see where he is or what he's doing or even to tell him that they're hanging out with Kendall. No, Carlos is better off wandering around Chicago without a cellphone, enjoying his time in the city at his own pace.

One night Carlos stumbles into a bar and decides to squat there for a while; he orders a couple of beers for himself, takes them over to a booth in the corner, and pulls a notepad out of his jacket pocket. While he drinks, Carlos draws and sketches things from memory, groaning in frustration when he starts drawing things that remind him of Kendall or that are body parts that belong to him. Whenever this happens, he just tears the sheet off and balls it up, tossing onto the table before starting over.

Two hours and nearly ten beers later, Carlos gives up on drawing and shoves the pad of paper back into his pocket, looking around the room quietly, trying to decide if there's anyone worth picking up. He's about to give up on the whole damn thing when he sees a tall blonde guy in the corner who seems to be eyeing him and he swallows thickly, licking his lips slightly to let the guy know that he's on board. When the guy nods at him, Carlos downs the rest of his drink, tosses a couple of bills onto the table, and makes his way over to where the blonde stranger is.

They exchange a few pleasantries and Carlos ends up being pinned against the bathroom door not even five minutes later with the stranger's lips on his neck. He's too tipsy to think about the consequences of his actions and too damn lonely to even care that the blonde stranger isn't Kendall - he doesn't even have the right eye colour for fuck's sake - but his mind lets him believe that it is any. At least for the moment.

Carlos moves a hand to the back of the guy's head and pulls his hair, whining as he works on undoing his jeans with the other hand. He gets the fly and button undone and shoves his hands down, working the denim down quickly, mumbling something about wanting to get fucked. The guy complies, wasting no time in getting a condom out of his pocket or turning Carlos around when his jeans are around his ankles. Preparation is messy and awkward, blond guy's fingers moving in and out of Carlos too quickly and he finally growls and demands to be fucked.

When the stranger does finally fuck Carlos, he moans Kendall's name out and slams his head against the back of the door, sobbing as he pushes back against the blond guy, ignoring his questions when he asks if Carlos is okay. He manages to mostly keep things under control until the other guy comes and buries his face against Carlos' shoulder, sweat staining his shirt and Carlos knows that he's going to have to get rid of it. Thank god it's not one he actually cares about, or else he'd be pissed.

"Thanks," Carlos says after he does his jeans up, leaving without even looking at the guy one last time. He makes it to his motel and into the room before breaking down, crumbling to his knees on the old, faded shag carpet, hands plastered against his face. The crying lasts for a long time and Carlos doesn't even pay attention to how long he stays like that, just knows that it seems like forever when he eventually drags himself into the bed.

A few days later, Carlos turns his phone on and the first message he sees is from Camille; she tells him that Kendall is gone and that he can come back home, so he doesn't waste time packing his things up and heading back to Minnesota. When he gets there, Carlos doesn't tell anyone where he went and what he did - especially doesn't say anything about the random hook up in the bar - and life goes on like it did before, except that Carlos is starting to regress back to the hole he was in when Kendall left him.

**[April]**

Carlos moves out of his parents' house and goes to live with Logan, splitting the rent and the bills to make it a little easier on his friend. The move helps him feel a little better about the Kendall situation but he still can't get the other boy off his mind. He tries to do things that will make him forget about Kendall and his dumb face, but none of it helps. So, he usually spends all of his free time in his room or at his parents' house, trying to make it seem like his life isn't coming apart at the seams.

A few weeks after Carlos moves in with Logan, he starts going on dates. None of the guys are any good for him but they are nice distractions while they last and he lets them know, upfront, that he's not looking for anything serious. That's usually the deal breaker and the guys leave him alone in a restaurant or somewhere else, which doesn't surprise Carlos because everyone leaves him eventually.

Things aren't going well for Carlos and he tries not to ask about Kendall, but he can't help it sometimes. Sometimes he'll just ask about how Kendall's doing and Camille will tell him the most basic things, leaving out any and all details about his life - more specifically, his love life - and Carlos is happy with just that.

* * *

_[Kendall] [March]_

Spring break comes and Kendall leaves for Minnesota; he and Dustin drive to the airport together and say their goodbyes before heading off to their separate terminals. Going home is bittersweet for Kendall because he misses his family and wants to see them, but he knows there's a good chance of him seeing Carlos. As much as he misses him, it's been too long and he doesn't know what he would say to Carlos if they were face to face. He would probably blurt something out about Dustin and that would be it. So, Kendall tries not to think about that on the flight and he focuses on how, when he gets back from his trip, he's going to be entered into some kind of showcase. That keeps his mind busy the entire way from Boston to Minnesota.

Jennifer is the first person Kendall sees when he gets off the airplane and he allows his mother to hug him, returning it just as tightly. When he pulls away, he sees Camille standing a few feet away and he drops his things to go over to his friend, wrapping her up in his arms. He holds her tightly, nearly crying as they hug, and when he pulls back, Kendall leans in to kiss her cheek, laughing when she complains about it. They look at each other for a moment and Kendall wants to ask a million questions like: is Carlos still around? Does he ever talk about me? Does he have a boyfriend? Do you think he wants to see me? But he just keeps his mouth shut.

Kendall learns the answer to some of his questions when he gets home and sees everyone. He learns that no, Carlos isn't around and no, he doesn't want to see him because he up and left without a word. It sucks and Kendall kind of expected it, but he doesn't let it ruin his trip; he makes the most of spending time with his family and friends, absorbing all the time he can with each and every one of them.

The whole trip goes by quickly and Kendall doesn't see his father once; he doesn't go to visit Carlos' parents even though he wants to, just sends his best wishes with Logan whenever he goes to see them. He spends the rest of his visit at home with his mom and they talk about everything - from music to what he's doing in school to what he's got going on with Dustin.

On the last day of his visit, Jennifer tells Kendall that she's going through with the divorce and that she'll be moving into her own place sometime soon. It's a shock but Kendall was also expecting that, too, and he just hugs his mother, promising that it will be okay and that he'll be there for her if she needs him to. After that, he gets on a plane and flies back to Boston, the place that feels more like his home than Minnesota.

**[April]**

Life goes on after Kendall gets back from visiting his family and he tries not to think about things too much. Instead, he gets a job and works whenever he's not at school, spending all of his free time with Dustin and Josh and the rest of their friends. It's a good distraction and soon Kendall's back to not thinking about Carlos as much.

In the middle of April, Kendall does the showcase and he plays an original song with Dustin on rhythm guitar, Josh on bass, and another friend of theirs on the drums. When he's preforming, Kendall forgets about everything that's happened and he doesn't think about what he's doing, just plays until the song ends and he smiles brightly when the audience cheers and claps.

After the show, his teacher tells him about talent scouts coming to those showcases and asks if Kendall would like to keep doing them. The possibility of being signed onto a record deal while he's still in college is huge and Kendall jumps at the chance to make it happen. Dustin, Josh, and Kendall go out and buy alcohol before taking it home to celebrate; they get drunk, stumble into the house, and Kendall ends up in his bed with Dustin plastered to his side, wondering where his life is going.

School goes on normally and Kendall excels, still, though sometimes he doesn't even bother showing up to class in the first place. That hurts his grades, of course, but Kendall eventually starts going again - with the help of Dustin - and he gets them back on track. He takes on harder classes when he's given the opportunity and he cuts back on his hours at work, the class load taking a toll on his friendships and even his relationship with Dustin. They stay together, though, because the sex is great between them and Kendall thinks he may be falling for Dustin.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: talk of sex on the first date, love bites.]

_[Carlos]_   **[Summer]**

When summer begins, Carlos decides to take action in his life and do something to make himself less depressed. It's been months since the break up with Kendall and he's still messed up about it. No matter what he does, he can't seem to shake the funk and the feeling that he fucked it all up, instead of putting the blame on Kendall. So, that's what Carlos does; instead of putting all the blame on himself, he puts it on Kendall and that instantly makes him feel better, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

And that's all it takes for Carlos to go from depressed to happy.

From there, things take a turn for the better and Carlos embraces his new attitude. He shaves his head one day out of the blue and donates all of his old clothes before buying new ones, deciding that he needs a new wardrobe to go with his new life. After the drastic wardrobe change, Carlos sells his car and buys a new, better model that is a better fit for him than the last one. With these new changes comes a new tattoo and he becomes addicted to the body-numbing pain that comes along with body modification. So, the tattoo leads to a piercing and that ends up being two. All in all, Carlos has a tattoo on his side, his nipples done, and both ears pierced.

By July, Carlos is a completely different person and his friends and family can see it. Which is why his mother decides to set him up on a date.

**x x**

Carlos is sitting at his parents' kitchen counter, eating strawberries right out of the carton. He watches his mother move around the kitchen, laughing whenever she mutters to herself, and looking innocent when she turns to scold him for eating all the strawberries. After the third time she does this, he stops and pushes the carton away from himself, folding his arms onto the counter top.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Sylvia asks, conversationally, and Carlos' eyebrows knit together. "I'm just curious," she adds with a smile.

"No, I'm not seeing anyone," he answers, leaning over to grab another strawberry. "Why?"

Sylvia narrows her eyes and leans on the opposite side of the counter. "My friend's son is single and  _really_  cute," she says and Carlos nearly chokes on the berry in his mouth. He coughs a few times, chews, and swallows, giving his mom a look.

"And you're going to set me up," he deadpans, arching a brow when his mom chews on her lower lip, nodding solemnly. "Ma, why would you do that? I'm happy being single and, if you haven't noticed, I do go out on dates. Sometimes," he says, shrugging a shoulder.

"I know, but I want you to be happy, Litos." Sylvia reaches forward and pats Carlos' hand, her expression soft. "And so does everyone else."

Pursing his lips, Carlos nods and sighs heavily, putting his hand on top of his mother's. "I know and I really appreciate it but," he pauses and - what can he say?  _'Sorry, I don't want to be in a relationship right now because the last one fucked me up and I'm still not over it'_? No one needs to crack open that can of worms, not now.

"But.."

"But I'm just looking for dates, you know, nothing serious. Going out to dinner or having a couple of drinks with someone and that's it," Carlos finishes, shrugging his shoulder again as he pats his mom's hand one more time. "But it was nice of you to think of doing that."

"Are you sure? I can show you a picture of him and then you can decide." Sylvia is trying so hard and Carlos laughs, thinking her offer over carefully before nodding his head; it can't hurt to just see a picture of the guy, can it? Besides, he doesn't  _have_  to agree to go on a date - even if the guy is gorgeous. "I'll go get my phone," she says and Carlos can tell she's happy just from him agreeing to that.

Carlos nods his head and grabs another strawberry. "I'll be here waiting," he says, before popping it into his mouth.

"If you eat all of those, you're buying more." Sylvia laughs when Carlos shrugs and grins at her. "Be right back," she says and pushes off the counter to walk through the kitchen, heading out toward the living room. While she's gone, Carlos grabs another berry and eats it slowly, humming quietly as he taps his fingers against the counter, waiting for his mom to return; he's about to grab yet another strawberry when she comes back. "What did I tell you, Litos?"

"That if I eat them all," Carlos starts, mumbling around the berry, "I have to get more?"

His mother makes a face and comes over, phone in hand. "Don't talk with your mouth full," she chastises.

"Sorry." Grinning, Carlos chews what's left of the fruit and swallows. "There, happy?"

"Thank you," Sylvia says, shaking her head a little as she taps on the screen of her phone. "Here he is."

Suddenly a phone is thrust into his face and Carlos pulls back a little, lifting a hand to take the damn thing from his mom. The picture is of a guy with dark brown hair and blue (or are they green? It's too hard to tell) eyes, grinning for whoever was taking the picture. Okay, Carlos has got to admit that the guy is cute and his smile does things to his heart, but that doesn't mean that he's going to want to date the kid; he's not that shallow.

"Tell me about him," Carlos says, handing the phone back to his mom. "Start off with name, is he legal, and what's his job?"

Sylvia locks her phone and sets it on the counter. "His name is Dallas."

"Who names their kid after a  _city_?"

" _Carlos_ ," his mother warns and he holds his hands up innocently. "Anyway, he's twenty-three and works at his father's construction business."

That makes Carlos drop his hands. "A construction worker?  _Ay dios mio_!" Sylvia stares at him and he blushes. "I mean, continue," he mutters.

"He went to school to become a contractor and he's an amazing artist, so I think you two will get along in that respect."

"Is he a gentleman? Will he still _respect me_  in the morning?" Carlos dramatically throws his hands toward his mother. "Tell me," he says.

Shaking her head, Sylvia sighs and then rolls her eyes at her son's display. "He's a perfect gentleman. Now, do you want me to set it up or no?"

"Sure," Carlos answers, without thinking, bobbing his head steadily. "It can't hurt to go out on one date, right? I mean, unless it goes horribly and it causes a rift between you and his mama."

"I doubt it will go badly," Sylvia says, trying her hardest not to grin as she grabs her phone again. "I'm setting it up for tomorrow night."

Carlos sighs and drops his hands, folding them on the counter. "Okay, I guess I can go out tomorrow," he mutters, watching as his mom taps her thumbs against the screen of her phone. "I should probably get going; there's a movie, enchiladas, and some ice cream at home waiting for me."

"What about Logan?"

"Attached at the hip with Camille now that she's graduated." Carlos shrugs and slides off the stool, going to kiss his mom's cheek. "Give him my number and tell him to text me with the details of where we're going and what I should wear."

Sylvia smiles and nods slowly, hugging her son. "I will," she says, pulling away to touch his cheeks. "Have a good night, honey."

"I will," he answers, smiling. "I'll call you after my date and let you know how it went."

"You better." With a laugh, Sylvia drops her hands and makes a shooing motion. "Go on, get."

Rolling his eyes, Carlos laughs and grabs his keys out of his pocket. "I'm going," he says as he heads to the door before calling out, "I love you!"

After his mother replies and tells him to go, Carlos heads home and sheds his clothes the moment he's through the door. He walks to the kitchen in his underwear and grabs a plate from the fridge, humming as he unwraps it. Sliding over to the microwave, Carlos opens it and puts the plate down, shutting the door before hitting the minute button twice. Once that's done, he heads into the living room and picks his clothes up, folding them over the back of the couch.

The smell of enchiladas fills the air and Carlos' stomach growls as he moves over to the entertainment center to pick a movie. He skips over The Avengers (he's never been able to watch it - or any Marvel movie - without thinking of Kendall) and grabs Due Date instead, popping it into the DVD player before heading to the kitchen. Just as he steps up to the counter, the microwave goes off and Carlos grabs his food, moving to get a knife and fork from the drawer, making his way to the fridge. He balances the (hot) plate on his arm and opens the fridge door, snatching two beers from the top shelf before shutting the door.

Carlos eats and watches his movie, downing the two beers before going to get more, along with a bowl of ice cream. He eats that, too, and puts another movie in when he's done; by the time Camille and Logan come home, he's sleeping on the couch with Little Nicky playing. They wake him up and coax him into going to his room, ignoring his protests and his assurance that he's awake and he can party. When Carlos gets to his room, however, he falls onto the bed and snuggles against the pillow, mumbling to Camille and Logan when they slip out of the room.

When the morning comes, Carlos wakes up with his pillow clutched in his arms and the sheets half off his body. He rolls out of bed and falls onto the floor with a loud grunt, curing the world when he pushes himself to his feet. Yawning, he rubs his eyes and grabs his glasses, slipping them on as he heads to the door, stepping out into the hall quietly. The rest of the house is silent and Carlos can hear the floorboards creak underneath his feet and he curses those as well.

Eventually, Carlos makes it to the bottom of the stairs and he grabs his jeans from the back of the couch on his way to the kitchen, the smell of coffee and food filling his nostrils. He moans quietly and pulls his pants on, buttoning and zipping them quickly before heading to the counter where Camille is sitting with a plate of eggs. She smiles at him and he returns it with a weak one of his own, sighing heavily as he sits down on a stool, yawning again.

"Morning," Logan says, turning to hand a plate of eggs and bacon to him. "You look fantastic."

Carlos grumbles and takes the plate, stealing Camille's fork when she's done. "Thanks," he mutters before pushing a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"Have a good night last night?" Camille asks, her voice amused, as she grabs her cup of coffee.

"It was fine; didn't drink much beer, put a dent in that gallon of ice cream, and I let my mom set me up on a date," he answers, pointing at Camille's mug with his fork, pouting at Logan. "Could you get me a cup?"

Sighing, Logan grabs a cup and fills it with coffee before sliding it to Carlos. "You actually let your mom set you up?"

"Yeah," Carlos says, pausing to take a sip of coffee, "I can't believe it either... but the guy is cute and he seem okay, so."

"When's that happening?" Setting her cup down, Camille leans forward onto her elbows.

"Tonight, hopefully. I need to check my pants and see if he texted me."

Camille snickers and bites her lip. "He's going to text your pants?"

"No, smart ass - my phone." After shoving more eggs into his mouth, Carlos looks for his phone as he chews. He pulls it out of his front pocket and unlocks the screen, smiling when he sees that he has a new message. "Must be him," he says, tapping the screen lightly to bring the message up. He reads it and smiles, tapping against the screen before setting his phone down on the counter.

"That him?" Logan asks, switching the burner off before sliding eggs onto his plate.

Nodding, Carlos smiles and takes another sip of coffee. "Yep, told me to wear something casual and that he'd text me where to meet him later."

"You seem pretty happy to be going on a date with this guy," his friend says, arching a brow when he turns around.

"Yeah, I dunno. Like I said, he's cute and he seems like a good guy, why would I want to pass that up?"

Logan shrugs and grins slowly, setting his plate down next to Camille's. "I'm glad you're happy," he says, lightly punching Carlos on the shoulder.

"Me too," Camille adds, smiling. "You and happiness are a good couple."

Carlos rolls his eyes and snorts as he finishes his food, downing the rest of his coffee before taking his dishes to the sink. He rinses them off and comes back around to kiss Camille on the cheek, something he's done every morning - when she's there, of course. She smiles and kisses him back before shooing him away, the two of them watching as Carlos leaves the kitchen, scratching his side lightly as he walks.

* * *

Later that night, Carlos dresses in something simple - a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt - and heads to a restaurant across town. When he gets there, he's nervous and he keeps straightening his clothes and checking his watch to make sure he's not late or too early. His nerves are so bad that he's about to give up - and text Dallas to apologize - when his date comes through the door, wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. He's taller than Carlos imagined and more gorgeous in person than he was in the picture; Carlos can't help but stare at him until he walks over.

"Carlos?" Dallas asks, holding his hand out as he smiles.

Blinking, Carlos shakes his head and then chuckles nervously. "I mean, yes - I'm Carlos," he answers, shaking Dallas' hand.

"I must say, my mom's description of you didn't do you justice."

"And the picture my mom showed me didn't do you justice, either." And it's true; Carlos had been expecting someone cute, but not flat-out gorgeous like Dallas was. Of course, he has also been picturing someone shorter than six foot, but Dallas must be six-foot-three,  _at least_. His hair is also darker in real life and his eyes are blue-green, which makes Carlos' heart flutter, as well as his stomach. "I'm sorry," he apologizes, when he realizes he's staring.

Dallas grins and shakes his head. "For?"

"Staring. God, I'm such a dumbass." Carlos lifts a hand and rubs his forehead, sliding it down the side of his face before pinching his earring between his fingertips. "It's just, wow, you are gorgeous and completely out of my league."

"If anyone is out of someone's league," Dallas starts, leaning down until his lips are brushing along the shell of Carlos' ear, "it's you."

And Carlos totally doesn't giggle at that. Nor does he squeak; he does, however, blush like a maniac. "Thanks," he mutters, swallowing thickly.

"No problem." When Dallas pulls away again, he's licking his lips and motioning toward the restaurant. "Do you want to sit down now?"

"Shouldn't we wait for the hostess?"

"Not that kind of place," is the answer Carlos gets and he just rolls with it, even allowing Dallas to put a hand on the middle of his back.

It feels nice to be out with someone who seems genuinely interested in dating him and Carlos hasn't been this happy since... well, since Kendall. He's determined not to think of his ex at all and he doesn't think he's going to have a problem with that when Dallas pulls his chair out for him and doesn't sit in his own until Carlos is situated.

"So, my mom tells me you're a mechanic," he says, once he's seated, and smiles. "That's awesome."

Carlos blushes again and nods. "Yeah, I'm not certified yet - I take my test in a few weeks - but I'm pretty good at it."

"Aw, you're being modest! Your mom tells mine that you're amazing at it and that you can diagnose a problem quickly."

"Well," Carlos says, chewing on his lip, "that's true, I guess. The diagnosing part, not the amazing one; that's just my mom being my mom."

Dallas laughs and it's sexy, rumbling deep in his chest. "I bet you are," he says, folding his hands onto the table.

"So,  _my_  mom tells me that you're a construction worker, how do you like that?"

"I love it, honestly. I get to work with my hands and, sometimes, my dad will let me draw up plans for certain things. I assume your mom told you about my contractor's license?" Carlos nods his head and bites his lip. "I think I'd rather be doing that but, for right now, things are going great with my dad's business and I love what I do. It's messy sometimes but I like to get dirty." Dallas winks and, god, Carlos wants him so bad. "So, tell me more about you, Carlos," he says, and Carlos purses his lips together, thinking.

Shrugging, Carlos lifts a hand and plays with his earring. "I'll be twenty-two next month, I'm a mama's boy, and I just got out of a serious relationship and it completely tore me apart," he admits, chewing on the edge of his lip as he looks at Dallas, who nods for him to keep going. "My favourite colour is purple; I have one tattoo, on my side, and my nipples are pierced. Obviously you can see my earrings and that's all the body mods I have, so you won't be surprised later down the line."

"Good to know," Dallas laughs, his eyes glinting under the lights. "I think you should know that I have a few tattoos myself, and a piercing," he adds, opening his mouth to show Carlos his tongue ring, grinning when he pulls it back into his mouth.

"Does that, um, hurt? Getting your tongue pierced, I mean." Carlos can feel his face burn up and he just wants to hide in the tablecloth.

Dallas shrugs and shakes his head, chuckling. "It hurts like any piercing," he answers, licking his lips when Carlos nods. "I like the colour green and I, myself, am also a mama's boy. I hate to be away from her for too long and I go to see her everyday, if I can."

"Wow," Carlos laughs, shaking his head. "That's more than I see my own mom."

"I love her, what can I say?" Grinning more, Dallas spreads his hands and Carlos relaxes considerably. "So, your ex is an asshole, huh?"

Carlos' eyes widen and he stares at the man sitting in front of him. "Why do you say that?"

"Just a hunch."

"Well... yeah, I guess you could say that he is an asshole. I mean, we both kind of just stopped talking to each other and he was the one who broke up with me, so..." Carlos bites his lip and looks down, playing with the bottom of the tablecloth.

"I'm sorry, I know it probably hurts to talk about it," Dallas whispers, staring at Carlos as they go quiet. "So, tell me more about you."

Looking up, Carlos raises his eyebrows and shrugs again. "I like to drink and smoke pot, though I haven't in a while. Apple pie is my favourite thing in the entire world and my mom beats everyone when it comes to pies. My family is Hispanic and I speak fluent Spanish, though I rarely ever do it unless I'm pissed off or really excited."

"And you're from Minnesota?"

"Mhm, born and raised." Carlos grins proudly and leans forward onto his elbows. "Are you from around here?"

Dallas shakes his head, a slow grin creeping over his face. "I'm from Texas, obviously."

"Wow, from Dallas?" Winking, Carlos laughs and licks his lips when Dallas nods. "Dude, _seriously_? Were your parents high?"

"I think my mom was but my dad just really wanted to name me Dallas."

A waitress comes over and they order drinks; Carlos orders a whiskey and learns that Dallas is more of a bourbon guy. It's like he couldn't get more perfect... and then he starts talking about his family. The way he talks about his siblings - three younger, two older - makes Carlos' stomach twist and his heart flutters again.

By the end of the night, Carlos feels like he knows enough about Dallas to write a book.

"So," Dallas says, hands stuffed into his pockets as he leans against the driver's side of his car. "Would it be too forward of me to ask if you'd like to come over for a drink? Just a drink, nothing else... unless you want that. I'm very easy to persuade where kissing and sex are concerned."

Carlos smiles and nods his head. "A drink sounds good," he agrees, licking his lips slowly.

"Alright, wanna follow me?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. I've gotta call my mom anyway," Carlos says, waving his phone around as he laughs.

Grinning, Dallas nods and pushes off his car. "I'll see you at my place," he replies, winking at Carlos before getting into his car.

Carlos chews on his lower lip and goes to get into his own car, sliding behind the wheel with ease. He starts the engine and backs out after Dallas does, following him out of the parking lot and onto the road. Once they're heading in the direction of Dallas' place, Carlos dials his mom's number and tells her about the date, leaving out the fact that he's going over to the guy's house. They talk easily for a while and hang up when Carlos lies and says that he's almost home, following Dallas into a driveway.

After getting out, Carlos follows the other man to the porch and rocks back onto his heels, waiting for Dallas to unlock the door. When it's unlocked and opened, they walk inside and Carlos toes his boots off near the door, out of habit, and looks around the house, whistling. Dallas laughs and leads him into the kitchen, motioning for him to take a seat at the island; Carlos does, setting his phone on the counter between his arms.

"So, what will you have? I've got rum, bourbon, whiskey..."

"Rum will be fine," Carlos answers, smiling sweetly. "Please."

Dallas winks and goes to grab two glasses, filling them with ice. "No problem."

"This is a nice place you've got." Humming, Carlos looks around the kitchen and bounces his legs up and down, heels hitting the middle rung of the stool. "Very modern and pretty, not like the houses I'm used to."

"Thanks. I figured, since I'm modern and pretty myself, I'd look for a house that reflected that." Carlos laughs at the joke and shakes his head, taking the glass of rum when Dallas comes over with it. "So, do you still live with your parents?"

Taking a sip from his drink, Carlos shakes his head. "I live with my best friend, Logan."

"That's sweet," Dallas murmurs, sitting down next to Carlos.

"Yeah, it's great and all but sometimes it's awkward, especially when his girlfriend comes over. Then I just feel like the third wheel."

"But you still love him?"

Carlos grins and nods his head. "I still love him and his girlfriend. They're like my extended family, you know? I can't go a day without them."

"He's sexy and loyal to his friends." Chuckling, Dallas sets his drink down and gently takes Carlos', putting it down as well. "I've been wanting to do this all night and I hope you don't mind," he whispers, hand wrapping around the nape of Carlos' neck as he leans in to kiss him softly.

The kiss tastes like bourbon and Carlos moans, immediately moving a hand to tangle in Dallas' hair. He tugs him forward and spreads his legs, making a soft noise against Dallas' mouth when he slides between his thighs. A hand wraps around his hip and the other hand stays where it is, Dallas' thumb brushing along the side of Carlos' neck as they kiss, both of them gasping as the other parts their lips, tongues darting out to meet.

It isn't long before Dallas has Carlos off the stool and into his arms, legs wrapped around his waist. He takes Carlos to the bedroom and lays him back on the bed, pulling away from his mouth to kiss a trail down the side of his neck, nipping it lightly. As he kisses and bites, Dallas asks if it's okay and Carlos just moans 'yes' over and over, fingers dragging through his hair, tugging it sharply.

A few hours later, Carlos wakes up with Dallas' body wrapped around his own, humming happily. He kisses the other man's bicep and slides out of bed, feeling around for his boxers on the floor, sliding them on when he finds them. Yawning loudly, Carlos makes his way over to the door and opens it quietly, slipping inside before flicking the light out, squinting his eyes at the bright light.

Once his eyes are adjusted to the light, Carlos looks at himself in the mirror and blushes when he sees all the teeth marks on his body. He lifts a hand to touch one on his chest, just above his nipple, and moans softly when he presses his fingertips against it. A dull pain sparks through him and he smiles at his reflection in the mirror before turning to use the bathroom as quietly as possible. He stares at himself again when he washes and dries his hands before leaving the room to slip back into bed with Dallas.

The next morning, Carlos wakes up to find the bed empty and the smell of breakfast heavy in the air. He smiles, stretches, and groans before rolling out of bed, grabbing his jeans off the floor. After pulling Dallas' too-big-for-him shirt over his head, Carlos slips out into the hallway and lets the smell of french toast and coffee lead him into the kitchen, where Dallas is standing at the stove, wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs. Stopping for a moment, Carlos stares at the other man's ass and whistles as he walks over to the kitchen island, leaning his elbows onto it.

"That's a nice picture," he mutters, grinning when Dallas turns to look at him. "You've got a nice ass and you can cook."

"Am I perfect yet?"

Carlos rolls his eyes and chuckles. "You were perfect last night, but this is the icing on top of the icing that's already on the cake."

"Good to know," Dallas laughs, pointing at a cabinet with the spatula. "Grab some plates for me?"

"Yes sir." After saluting, Carlos goes to grab two plates from the cabinets, setting them on the counter. "So, last night was... awesome."

Dallas makes a humming noise in the back of his throat and plates the french toast. "It was fucking awesome," he corrects, grinning when Carlos pokes him in the side. "I'm glad our parents set us up."

"Me too." And, the funny thing is, Carlos means it. He had a great time at dinner and sex with Dallas is awesome, if not perfect in every single way imaginable. It just makes the summer better for Carlos and he chews on his lower lip, debating as he watches Dallas. "You want to go out again?"

"Uh, I'd be crazy not to." With a sly grin, Dallas leans down to kiss Carlos softly. "I wanna go out with you multiple times," he whispers when he eases away, the grin on his face spreading. "Or stay in and do what we did last night."

Blushing, Carlos licks his lips and grabs a plate. "Maybe, we'll see how your french toast is."

The two of them laugh together and Carlos sits at the counter, watching as Dallas gathers two mugs before filling them with coffee. He sets a mug down in front of Carlos and sits across the counter from him, smirking the entire time. When they're done eating, Dallas persuades Carlos into taking a shower and they end up staying in there for an hour, hands roaming over each other until the water turns cold.

After their shower, Carlos gets dressed and leaves, claiming that Logan will file a missing person's report if he doesn't show up soon. They kiss lazily for a few moments before he actually leaves and Carlos drives home thinking about Dallas and, for once, not allowing himself to think about Kendall and everything that's gone on. Logan is up when he gets home and they sit in the kitchen together, talking about Carlos' date over a cup of coffee.

* * *

Carlos and Dallas date more and more, eventually starting a relationship by the end of summer. They celebrate Carlos' birthday together with their friends and family and it's relaxed, more so than it was with Kendall. Things with Dallas are good and he manages to keep Carlos' mind off of his ex and they never talk about him, unless it's around Logan and Camille.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: smoking, talk of drinking, talk of public sex.]

_[Kendall]_   **[Summer]**

Instead of going back to Minnesota for the summer, Kendall decides to stay in Boston. He makes up his mind when he hears about a showcase that's happening in July and the rumor of a talent scout being there. Of course, his family - and friends - aren't happy with his decision but they don't beg him to come home or tell him that he's making a mistake. They seem supportive and that's all Kendall needs.

**x x**

It's a hot night in the middle of June and Kendall is sprawled out on the living room floor with his Gibson Firebird laying across his chest, one hand wrapped loosely around the neck and the other strumming the strings. He hums quietly to himself and turns his head, looking out the balcony doors and across the street, gaze settling on the streetlights. After a few minutes, Kendall hears the door open and he sits up, watching as Dustin and Josh stumble over the threshold with bags in their hands, laughing and grumbling to each other.

"Evening," Kendall says, smirking when Dustin looks up at him and rolls his eyes. "Is that dinner or did you two assholes buy all the guitar strings from that store on fifth avenue?"

Josh shrugs and comes over with a gray plastic bag. "Dinner and guitar strings," he says, smiling when Kendall takes the bag. "Working on a song?"

"Trying to, but it's not working very well. I think it's too fucking hot." Sighing, Kendall sets his guitar on the couch and gets up, walking to the kitchen as he opens the bag, pulling out several packs of strings. "You guys are so nice, buying me food and strings for my babies!"

"I thought I was your baby." Dustin pouts and bats his eyelashes at Kendall, laughing when he flips him off. "They were having a sale and you can't pass up buy-one-get-one guitar strings, can you?"

Kendall shakes his head and takes a white paper bag out, setting it on the table. "What're we having for dinner?"

"Everything," Josh and Dustin say together, punching each other in the arm; Kendall just rolls his eyes and opens the bag. The smell of Chinese food fills his nostrils and his stomach growls, his mouth watering as he takes one of the boxes out, pushing the rest aside.

"You guys are the best ever," he says, opening the takeout box on his way to the silverware drawer, pulling a fork out. "I'd starve if it weren't for you."

Snorting, Dustin moves past him to grab a fork for himself and Josh. "You're going to cough up money for that," he says, nodding to the box and then to the bags laying on the kitchen table. "It ain't free."

"But I give you sex," Kendall protests around a mouthful of chicken and rice, chewing slowly before swallowing. "Isn't that enough?"

"Yeah but you don't give  _me_  sex," Josh pipes in, laughing and winking at Kendall before hopping up onto the counter, which is his usual spot for eating.

Kendall waggles his eyebrows and licks his lips. "You're welcome to join us, big boy."

"No thanks."

After that, the three of them fall into a comfortable silence and eat huddled in the kitchen with the windows open. A breeze rolls through and Kendall moans quietly around his last bite of food, closing his eyes as he turns his face toward the window. Josh and Dustin laugh at him and he just flips them off, enjoying the slow breeze until it dies down, frowning deeply when it does.

"So, shouldn't we work on getting a song together for the showcase?" Dustin asks, tossing his box into the garbage can.

Biting his lip, Kendall shrugs and looks at him. "I guess so, but I don't know what we should do."

"What about that moleskin you're always writing in?" One of Josh's eyebrows arch as he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek and then along the front of his bottom teeth. "Dustin said something about those being secret songs," he adds, crossing his arms.

"Wow, thanks _asshole_." Kendall shoots Dustin a look and goes to toss his garbage away. "It is full of songs but none of them are very good. I mean, you can't make actual songs out of those things; they're too depressing," he mutters, turning back to look at his friends.

Dustin gives a grin and makes a shooing motion. "Go get it and let us read them. We'll decide if they'll be good songs or not."

"Yeah, it can't hurt anything, Kendall." Josh's smile is soft and Kendall returns his, opting to give Dustin a death glare before sighing.

"Fine, _fine_. I'll go get my book of emo sonnets and you guys can laugh at me. Whatever," he grumbles, turning on his heels to walk through the living room and into the hall, going down to his room. He heads inside and goes to grab the journal from underneath his mattress, running his finger along the front, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. After sighing, Kendall walks back out and goes to the kitchen, thrusting the book at Josh. "Read it."

Kendall watches his roommates huddle close together and his stomach churns when Josh pulls the leather strap out of place before opening the front cover. He looks up with a soft smile - as if to say 'it's okay' - before turning his attention to the first page and Kendall's eyes slide shut as he reads the lyrics in his mind, knowing the pages of that journal like the back of his hand. When he doesn't hear any laughter or snickering, Kendall opens his eyes and looks at his friends, who are staring at the first page with their mouths hanging open.

"Dude," Josh breathes out, letting Dustin take the journal out of his hands. "These are amazing."

"You're just saying that," Kendall mumbles, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

When Josh shakes his head and opens his mouth to say something, it's Dustin who speaks. "We could make an entire album with these songs!"

"Lemme see the rest of them." Dustin hands the journal over to Josh when he holds his hand out and goes over to Kendall.

"I don't see an entire  _album_  worth of songs," Kendall mutters, chewing on his lip as he scratches at the tattoo behind his ear. "Maybe one or two that we can play at the showcase, but that's about it. You two are crazy if you think there's more than that."

Dustin scoffs and wraps his arms around Kendall, resting their heads together. "If there really is a talent scout - or a fucking  _producer_  - there and they like us enough to sign us onto their label, we can make that our first CD," he murmurs softly.

"Don't talk about that, Dust." Grumbling, Josh kicks at Dustin's ass and continues reading the journal, shaking his head. "These are deep as fuck."

"Well, I wrote about last summer and everything that happened." Kendall blushes and chews on his lip, resting a hand on Dustin's forearm. "So, which one do you guys want to work on first?"

Josh and Dustin share a look and grin at one another. "You're going to let us play one of these?" Dustin asks, not hiding his excitement.

"If you two don't have anything to contribute... then I guess we'll  _have_  to go with one of my depressing songs," Kendall answers, shrugging out of Dustin's arms to go stand next to Josh, his hands on his hips. "Now, pick one and we'll start working on the music."

"Alright." Dustin goes to grab the journal from Josh and goes to spread it out on the table, leaning over. Josh joins him a moment later and they start flipping through the pages, pointing at lyrics and discussing them quietly. Kendall watches them and crosses his arms over his chest as he leans back against the counter, chewing on his lower lip. His cheeks burn with the things Josh and Dustin are saying and he scrubs a hand along his face, scratching at the stubble on his jaw.

Half an hour later, Josh hands the journal back to Kendall, opened to one of the songs in the back. "That one," he says, tapping the page.

"You want to do," Kendall pauses to glance at the title and turns red, "Diamond, really?"

"Why not? It's sad, powerful, and fucking amazing."

Kendall coughs and holds the book with one hand, scratching his head with the other. "You know it's about a dude, right?"

"Who gives a shit? It'll evoke some feelings and we'll have the showcase in the bag," Dustin says, moving over to the counter. "Come on, we'll rock this out and you'll be able to share your feelings for the world, right?"

"I don't know, Dustin. This one is really personal," Kendall mumbles, eyes roving over the lyrics slowly.

Sighing, Josh puts a hand on Kendall's shoulder and squeezes. "All the best hits are personal. Well, back in the day anyway."

A sigh leaves Kendall's lips and he shrugs, handing the journal back to Josh, holding it against his chest. He just nods his head slowly and bites his lip, trying not to show his emotions to his roommates. When they high five each other and take the journal, Kendall follows them into the living room and numbly grabs his guitar, settling it across his lap, listening to Dustin's instructions on where to put his fingers.

It only takes them a week to perfect "Diamond" and Kendall is completely in love with the song.

* * *

July comes before Kendall knows it and the showcase, he realizes, is the day before the anniversary of James' death.

So, the day before the show, Kendall gets on Facebook and finds a page dedicated to James. There are pictures of him and people commenting, saying things like, "you were too young to die" and "we miss you;" the cliched things. Against his better judgment, Kendall puts a simple "R.I.P James" with a heart on the wall and shuts his computer down, not thinking about what might happen when people see his name on that page.

The next day, Kendall spends the afternoon before the show rehearsing his song with his band. When there's nothing left to be perfected or changed, they head to the venue where the showcase is held, and they start setting their instruments up before heading backstage. While they're hanging out back there, Kendall watches people pour into the building and swallows thickly, his hands shaking from how nervous his is; Dustin takes one of his hands and laces their fingers together, reassuring him - with touch - that it's going to be okay.

When the place is packed, one of the school's teachers comes up on stage and takes the mic, talking to the crowd in order to get them pumped up. He starts talking about the bands that are going to play and starts to go into detail about Kendall's band, laying the compliments on thick until the crowd cheers and chants for them. After another introduction, Kendall and the rest of his band step out onto the stage and he takes his place at the microphone, leaning down to grab his guitar from it's stand. He slings it over his shoulder and clears his throat, wrapping a hand around the mic.

"We're going to play two versions of this song," he explains, chuckling nervously. "The regular version and the acoustic one. Hope you guys like it."

The song starts off with Dustin playing and Kendall joins him next before Josh and their drummer join in. Once the music starts playing, Kendall's nerves seem to disappear and he starts singing with everything he has in him, making eye contact with the crowd as they play. He sees a few people nodding their head to the song and, by the time it's done, he even spots a few people crying in the front row.

After they finish playing, Kendall swaps his electric guitar for his acoustic, dragging a stool up to the mic stand. He adjusts it and settles his guitar on his lap, giving the crowd a small smile before he starts strumming. It's just him playing now and Kendall closes his eyes, getting lost in the song until it's time for him to sing. When he opens his mouth, Kendall sings with all of his heart and he ends up crying by the time everything is done, subtly wiping at his eyes when the song finishes and the crowd claps.

They don't just clap - they  _fucking stand and cheer._

It's so surreal to Kendall and he can't stop himself from grinning broadly, waving to the crowd as he stands. He moves off the stage with everyone else and he sets his guitar on the closest flat surface he can find before throwing himself at Dustin, kissing his face and his neck, every inch he can find. He laughs when Dustin pulls their bodies together and he buries his face in the other boy's neck, breathing in his scent as the emotions just pour over him.

A few techs bring their guitars backstage and Kendall disentangles himself from Dustin with a huge grin. "They loved it," he says.

"I know." Dustin smiles and leans in, kissing Kendall softly. "You fucking nailed it, baby."

Kendall's about to kiss Dustin back when someone clears their throat and he drops his arms away from the other boy, turning to look in the direction of where the noise came from. He spots one of his teachers standing next to someone in a suit and he blushes deeply, biting at the fuller part of his lip, lifting a hand to give a half-ass wave.

"That was an amazing performance," Mr. Smith says, smiling brightly. "You've all got some serious talent."

"Thank you," they all say at the same time and Kendall laughs, running a hand across his sweaty forehead.

Mr. Smith smiles and motions to the man standing next to him. "This is Jonathan Parker," he explains, and Kendall's jaw drops.

"Wait... Johnathan Parker as in music producer _Jonathan Parker_?"

"That would be the one," Jonathan says, laughing quietly. "I've been friends with Brad," he nods to Mr. Smith, "for years now and he's finally succeeded in getting me out here to see some of the young talent Berklee has to offer."

For some reason, Kendall starts to laugh. Just, uncontrollably giggling.

"Are you alright?" Jonathan asks and Kendall nods quickly, covering his mouth. "I do have a few questions."

"Okay," Kendall mutters, nodding as his giggling subsides.

Jonathan smiles and slips his hands into his pockets. "Who wrote that song?"

"This guy right here," Dustin says, putting both hands on Kendall's shoulders.

"Is that true?"

Blushing, Kendall nods and then coughs awkwardly. "Yeah, I wrote it all by myself but Dustin helped with the music," he admits, smiling.

"Well, I think that song was amazing." And, yep, Kendall's sure he just stopped breathing. "Good enough to be signed onto my label," Jonathan adds and Kendall can't tell if he's serious or just yanking his chain. Either way, he stares at the man and blinks rapidly. "Is that something you all would be interested in? Because I'm looking for someone new and young for my label."

"Dude, are you serious?" Josh asks, stepping up behind Kendall.

"Deadly."

A gasping noise comes from Kendall's chest and he shakes his head. "You want to sign us," he whispers, still not believing it.

"As long as you guys want to, of course. It's your choice to leave here and come out to L.A. with me to start working on an album." Jonathan is smiling and, god, Kendall wants to kiss him out of excitement and thanks. "I'll give you guys a few days to think it over," he says, lifting his hands to rummage through the breast pocket of his suit, pulling a card out. "Call me with your decision. I leave Boston in three days, so make it fast."

"O-okay, thanks." With shaky fingers, Kendall takes the card and looks at it, huffing quietly.

Jonathan smiles at them and waves. "See you boys later," he says before turning to leave. When he's gone, the band goes insane and Kendall stares at each member, mouthing  _'did that just fucking happen?'_  to each of them, who nod and say  _'yes'_  loudly.

After packing their things into the truck they borrowed from another friend and grabbing a camera from another (Kendall wanted to get tape of their performance, to show to his mom), the gang heads back to the apartment. When they get there, Dustin pushes Kendall against the wall and kisses him deeply, hands roaming all over his body until Josh tells them to cut it out and their drummer, Kyle, makes a gagging noise.

Kendall flips them off when Dustin pulls away and takes the card out again, staring at it. "Should we do it?"

"Hell yeah!" Dustin says, grinning broadly.

"How many opportunities like this are we going to have?" Kyle asks, grabbing a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "Seriously, dude, we should do it."

Shrugging, Josh slips his hands into his pocket and smirks. "I would like to go to L.A. and see a bunch of girls in bikinis," he says, laughing when Kendall glares at him, lips pursed. "And, of course, to make music."

"Well," Kendall huffs, looking at his friends with a huge grin. "I guess we're going to do this, as long as you guys are in."

Everyone shouts and Kendall shushes them, pointing to the balcony before grabbing Kyle's cigarettes, taking one out of the pack. He puts it between his lips and grabs a lighter off the kitchen table on his way to the door, sliding it open before stepping out into the night air. Sighing heavily, Kendall lights the end of his cigarette and leans against the railing, stuffing the business card into his pocket as his friends make their way out onto the balcony with him.

They all talk about what life is going to be like when they get to California and if Berklee will take them back if they bomb it all. Kendall doesn't think they're going to bomb anything and he shares his feelings with his friends, flicking his ashes over the railing. He gives his band a smile and asks what would be a good time to call Jonathan and they all yell 'right now!' but Kendall just laughs, shaking his head. Instead of calling that night, Kendall decides that he'll wait until the next day, so it's not late and he won't be disturbing Jonathan... even though a part of him wants to call him right that second.

When they head inside, Josh leaves to go buy alcohol and the four of them drink in celebration of their success. Kendall doesn't allow himself to drink as much as his band mates and he takes care of them when they're passed out, making sure they're not laying in a position where they could choke on their vomit, should they get sick. He clears the apartment of empty bottles and beer cans before going into his room, pulling his phone out when he lays back on the bed, wondering who he should text first.

The first person that comes to his mind is Carlos and Kendall just decides to sleep.

**x x**

Kendall wakes up in the middle of the morning with his phone ringing beside his ear and he smacks it away, groaning for it to shut up. When it doesn't listen, he rolls onto his back and grabs the damn thing, answering it without looking at the caller ID. He yawns loudly and scrubs his free hand down the side of his face, blinking sleepily as he mumbles something that's similar to 'hello.'

"Kendall?" The voice on the other line is feminine and, at first, Kendall thinks it's Camille.

"Camille," Kendall sighs, rubbing his hand over his face as he grumbles, "what are you calling so early for?"

The person on the other line is quiet for a moment before answering, "It's Jo."

"Oh. Shit, I'm sorry." Chuckling nervously, Kendall sits up in the middle of bed and yawns. "What's up, Jo? Long time no talk."

"Yeah, it's been about a year, huh?" Jo says and she sounds happy, which makes Kendall happy.

Humming, Kendall twists around to look at the clock, which informs him that it's ten o'clock. "Yeah, it has been. What's up?"

"I saw your comment on James' page on Facebook," she explains and Kendall nods slowly. "And I just wanted to see how you were doing and if things were going well in Boston."

"That's very sweet of you, Jo." Kendall smiles and yawns again, laying back on his pillow. "I'm doing just fine, thanks. School's going well and I've been working my ass off to keep my grades up and I've been working on a lot of music."

Jo makes a noise of agreement and Kendall smiles. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm not gonna lie to you, I think I'm a little hungover," he chuckles, closing his eyes tightly. "How are _you_  doing?"

"Great!" Jo laughs and the sound makes Kendall think of  _home_. "I'm happy and I finally found someone that loves me."

That makes Kendall smile and he nods, humming quietly. "That's great, Jo. I'm glad you're doing so well."

"And I'm glad you're doing well, minus the hangover," she says, laughing again. "I should probably let you go, I just wanted to catch up for a moment."

"Yeah, it was nice. Hopefully we can see each other soon," Kendall says, blinking his eyes open to stare at the ceiling.

"Definitely. Come around when you come home next."

Kendall smiles and nods, laughing quietly. "Will do. Keep in touch, alright?"

"Will do," Jo agrees, giggling quietly. "See you, enjoy your day."

They hang up and Kendall lays his phone on the middle of his chest, staring up at the ceiling. He lays like that for a while before grabbing the phone again and stuffing a hand into his pants pocket, grabbing the business card. With incredibly shaky fingers, Kendall dials the number punched out onto the card and listens to the phone ring, almost hanging up when it gets to the final one before someone answers.

Jonathan and Kendall talk for a while before they agree to meet up at his hotel later that evening. When they hang up, Kendall can't stop smiling and he decides to see if Camille is on Skype so he can share his good news with her. He grabs his laptop and opens it, setting it on the bed as it boots up and he heads into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

When Kendall comes back, he sets his cup on the nightstand and picks his laptop up, immediately signing into Skype. He logs onto Facebook next and takes a long sip from his coffee, setting it back down before looking through his timeline. The usual things are there and then Kendall notices that he has a few messages. Arching a brow, he clicks them and nearly laughs when he sees that Mercedes and Jett messaged him, both apologizing for the way they treated him.

Kendall decides to answer them later and he switches over to Skype, clicking Camille's name quickly. He taps the 'video call' button and sits back, drinking his coffee as he waits for her to answer, humming along to the music the program is playing. When Camille finally answers, Kendall puts his cup back on the nightstand and smiles brightly at her when she comes onto screen.

"You're up early," Camille says, grinning brightly.

"So are you. Must be at Logan's, huh?" When Camille nods, Kendall laughs and mimics her. "Hey, so I have good news."

Camille arches a brow and yawns. "What kind of good news? You're pregnant, aren't you?"

"Eww, gross. No, that's not even close to being it."

"Did you finally decide that you can't live without my face and you're moving back home?" Kendall shakes his head and smiles. "Then what?"

Huffing, Kendall scratches his jaw and grins. "My band is going to be signed on Jonathan Parker's label," he says, the words rushing out of him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Camille squeals and covers her mouth with her hands. "That's awesome, honey! Is it for sure, then?"

"Pretty sure it is. We're going to meet up tonight to hash out the details and we'll probably be heading out to California in a few weeks, days maybe."

The grin on Camille's face makes Kendall blush and he chews his lip. "That's great! Can I tell Logan or do you want to do it?"

"You can tell him, but don't let anyone tell my mom, okay? I've still gotta upload the videos from last night onto YouTube and send them to her, so I'll probably spill the beans after she's seen the performance."

"And then you'll link it to me so Logan and I can watch it?"

Kendall rolls his eyes and nods. "Of course," he answers, smiling.

"I can't believe this, oh my god." Camille's got this dreamy look on her face and she shakes her head, curls spilling over her shoulders.

"Yeah, we can't either. I should probably go make breakfast for everyone," he says, sighing. "We drank in celebration last night and the guys - Dustin, Josh, and Kyle - got fucking smashed. They're going to have killer hangovers and are going to be grumpy."

A giggle escapes Camille's lips and then she laughs. "Oh, god. I love you so much, honey, and I miss you."

"Miss you too. I'll come see you after the thing with California, okay?"

"Promise?" she asks, lifting a pinkie toward the laptop screen.

Mimicking her, Kendall laughs and smiles broadly. "Promise. Love you," he says, shutting his laptop when she says it back.

After shutting his laptop and grabbing his phone, Kendall goes to the kitchen to make breakfast for the band. They all wake up when it's done and eat slowly, all of them complaining about headaches and sick stomachs. He tries not to laugh at them all and, instead, he tells them to feel better before their meeting with Jonathan and they all perk up a little after hearing his name.

**x x**

Later that afternoon, Kendall shows his mom the videos from the night before and tells him their news. She's excited for them and she can't stop gushing about how her son is going to be a musician before he graduates college. All of that makes Kendall blush and he keeps talking to his mother before hanging up, explaining that he's got a meeting with the producer and promising to call her later to tell her how it went.

After taking a shower with Dustin, Kendall dresses in his best and they all head downstairs to climb into Kyle's car before heading to the hotel, all of their nerves on edge. The closer to the hotel they get, the more Kendall feels like he might throw up and he tamps that feeling down, forcing himself not to get sick as they pull into the hotel parking lot. Kyle parks and they all stumble out of the car, laughing at one another as they make their way toward the building; Dustin takes hold of Kendall's hand and squeezes it, lacing their fingers together.

The meeting with Jonathan is short and sweet. He asks a few questions and ends the whole thing with telling the boys to make flight arrangements for two weeks from the date of their meeting. They eat dinner together and he sends the band off with the assurance that they'll do great in California and they believe them.

Instead of going home, Josh and Kyle run off to the hotel bar while Dustin pulls Kendall into one of the bathrooms. The door barely swings shut behind them before Dustin pushes Kendall against one of the stalls, hands immediately going to the front of his pants. He undoes them and kisses Kendall roughly, slipping a hand into his boxers to stroke his cock, swallowing each noise the other boy makes. They make their way into one of the stalls and clothes come off once the door is shut.

Dustin ends up fucking Kendall against the door and neither of them keep their noises to a minimum. They almost get caught a few times but they finish before the manager comes in and Dustin leaves first, leaving Kendall in the bathroom by himself. He sits on the back of the toilet and pants heavily, watching a pair of feet stop in front of the stall he's sitting in. Closing his mouth and holding his breath, Kendall waits until the feet are gone and the door shuts before hopping off the toilet and leaving the bathroom.

**x x**

**[Two weeks later]**

Kendall and his friends land at the L.A. airport and that's when everything starts to feel real to him. When they're at baggage claim, Kendall finally realizes that he's doing exactly what he's dreamed of doing, except way sooner than he ever thought he would. He feels happy, being out in California, and he hums to himself as they drive to their new house, gasping when he sees it.

It doesn't take them long to get everything set up and Kendall moves around the house with his laptop, showing Camille and Logan the new place before doing it all over again with his mom. She ends up doing the same thing and shows Kendall the apartment she's staying at while she looks for a more permanent place to live.

Things are going great and a week after they arrive, the band meets up with Jonathan and they start talking about songs. When this subject comes up, they hand Kendall's journal over to him and watch as he flips through the pages, nodding slowly as he reads over the songs. He gives the boys the task of picking a minimum of ten songs from the notebook and tells them to bring the list back when they have it and he'll approve it. They leave the studio happy and talk about which songs they want on an album for the next few days.

Later in the same week, Kendall is getting ready to start writing when Logan calls him on Skype. He arches a brow and accepts the call immediately, smiling when he sees Camille on the screen, along with Logan. They smile back and wave at him, Logan slipping an arm around Camille's waist to pull her closer.

"We have something to tell you," Logan says, and Camille bites her lip.

Kendall's eyebrows knit together and he nods. "Okay, shoot."

"You're going to be an uncle." It's Camille who speaks but Kendall barely pays attention to that. The only thing he zeroes in on is 'be an uncle.'

"Seriously? You're pregnant?" Kendall's voice is excited and slightly squeaking when he talks, a grin breaking across his face when Camille nods. "Holy fucking shit! Oh my god, this is amazing news! When did you find out?"

Camille laughs and shrugs. "Just found out today but I've had my suspicions."

"Jesus, oh my god, this is great." Huffing, Kendall rubs a hand over his face and laughs. "I'm going to be an uncle, that's cool."

"We thought you'd be happy," Logan says, leaning his chin onto Camille's shoulder, smiling.

"I'm beyond happy, dude! Are you two going to get married?"

They look at each other and shrug before turning back. "Maybe," Camille answers, grinning. "We wanted to tell you first because, without you, we wouldn't be together right now and, well, we want to thank you for that."

"You're welcome." Kendall grins and nods slowly. "I love you guys. Congratulations on the baby."

"Thanks, man." Grinning, Logan waves and Camille mimics him, both smiling before they hang up.

After they disconnect, Kendall stares at the screen for a moment and starts laughing, grinning proudly. He shuts his laptop and lays it on the bed before standing to leave the room, deciding that he'd rather celebrate than write anyway. On his way into the hall, Kendall runs into Josh and he tells him the good news, clapping a hand on his back before steering him toward the stairs, declaring that they need to drink to celebrate.

**x x**

It only takes them three months to record their album and it comes out just before Christmas.

The title is  _On The Edge of Ordinary_  and every song on the CD has to do with the summer that changed Kendall's life.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: happehness... then some sadness, smoking, talk of marathon sexing.]

_[Carlos]_   **[August - after his birthday]**

From the moment Dallas pulls into the driveway, Carlos can tell that something is going on. He doesn't know whether it's good or bad, just knows that something is going on with Logan or Camille, possibly both. When they get out of the car, Carlos takes Dallas' hand and squeezes it, leading him up the porch steps and to the front door, expecting the worst as he opens it and steps inside. After taking his coat and shoes off, Carlos looks around the foyer and notices the light in the living room is on, so that's where he heads - with Dallas on his heels.

"Hey, we were wondering when you were coming home," Logan says, wrapping his arm around Camille's waist. "Can you sit and talk for a minute? It won't be long, I promise."

Carlos nods and goes to sit down in the chair next to the couch. "What's going on? I have a feeling it's something big," he mutters, rubbing his hands together as he looks at his two best friends and then to his boyfriend.

"It's big news, yeah." Camille sits up and stretches a little, turning to grin at Logan. "Do you want to tell him or should I?"

" _Someone_  should tell me before I die from the suspense."

Laughing, Logan straightens up and puts his hands on his knees. "You're going to be an uncle, Litos."

When his friend says that, Carlos just stares at him and then laughs, clapping his hands over his mouth. "You're serious?"

"I'm seriously pregnant, yes." With a smile, Camille looks at Carlos then Logan, taking his hand. "We just found out," she explains.

"Holy shit! I'm going to be an uncle," Carlos breathes, shaking his head as he grins. "Uncle Carlos... s'got a nice ring to it, huh?"

Dallas moves over and sits on the arm of the chair Carlos is sitting in. "Sounds great," he says, smiling down at his boyfriend before turning to Logan and Camille, his smile widening. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Logan murmurs, lifting Camille's hand to kiss it lightly.

It clicks in Carlos' mind that this is real and that this is happening. Two of his best friends in the entire world are having a baby and he makes a happy noise before jumping out of the chair and tackling Logan back against the couch. Camille laughs and scoots away while Carlos bear-hugs Logan, saying  _'you're having a baby!'_  over and over until he pulls back.

"Dude, this is great. Who all knows?"

Logan bites his lip and scratches the back of his head. "Kendall was the first one we told and then we told our parents," he explains, giving Carlos a look that  _screams_  'I'm sorry.'

"That's cool," Carlos murmurs, bobbing his head slightly as he settles back into the chair. "How did they take it?"

"Well," Camille starts, patting Logan's knee as she talks, "my parents were mad at first - my dad threatened to kill Logan and my mom just sat there, shocked - but, after a while they realized that it's happening and that we're in love and just accepted it."

Chuckling, Logan puts his hand on Camille's and licks his lips. "Both of my parents are excited to have a grandchild. My mom's already talking about things she can knit for the baby and demands - _demands,_  dude - that we find out the sex of the baby so she knows what colour yarn to get."

"What, ah, about Kendall? How did he react to it?" Forcing those words out is the hardest thing Carlos has had to do for a while and he feels like bursting out in tears just from saying Kendall's name. He keeps himself composed though, focusing on the way Dallas rubs his shoulders.

"Pretty much the same way you did, but with a little more shouting." Camille's voice is soft when she speaks and she leans over to take Carlos' hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. The soft touch makes Carlos smile and he stands up, moving over to hug Camille gently.

When they ease apart, Carlos is laughing. "You going to name the baby after me?"

"Oh, you know it." Logan laughs and winks at Carlos when he sits down. "Carlos Mitchell sounds like a perfect name."

"Um, no. I love you, Carlos, but my baby is getting it's own name."

Carlos huffs and shrugs his shoulders, grinning. "No problem, I'll still call him Carlos no matter what," he says.

"What if it's a girl?" Dallas asks, voice amused.

"Carla, then. Yeah, that sounds nice."

Camille shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "You're impossible," she mutters.

"Impossibly cute," Carlos corrects, winking playfully. "Seriously, though, congratulations. This is great news and it should be celebrated!"

Arching a brow, Logan shakes his head and chuckles. "How? Camille can't drink."

"There are plenty of ways to celebrate that don't involve drinking." Rolling his eyes, Carlos gets to his feet and motions to the kitchen. "My mom brought a cake over last night and there's still some of that left... unless you two ate it," he says, narrowing his eyes playfully.

"I solemnly swear that I did not eat that cake," Camille answers, giggling. "But I do want a piece."

"Then come with me little lady." Carlos holds his arm out and leads Camille to the kitchen when she stands and loops her arm around his. When they get to the kitchen, Carlos leads her to the table and goes to the fridge, pulling out a platter with three-quarters of a chocolate cake on it. He takes it over to the table and goes to grab a knife, some plates, and forks before coming back to cut into it.

Dallas and Logan join them, each taking a seat next to their significant other, and they all talk about possible babies names. Carlos asks if Camille and Logan are going to get married and they just look at each other, shrug, and mumble 'maybe' under their breathes. Even though it's not a definite answer, Carlos still believes that they'll get married and the thought makes him smile broadly.

**x x**

Time flies by and, before they know it, winter is upon them... and so is Christmastime.

A few days before Christmas, Camille drags Carlos and Alex to the mall to pick up a few last minute items. It's packed when they get there and Carlos lets Camille and his sister pull him whichever way they want, not complaining about where they end up, knowing that shopping makes them happy and that he would lose two-to-one if he tried to argue or protest in anyway.

The first place they end up is an entertainment store, because Camille wants to buy Logan a movie and can't find it anywhere else. Carlos complies and follows, hands stuffed into his pockets as he makes his way around the store, mostly just following Alex around to see what she looks at so he can get an idea of something else to get for her.

Carlos makes his way to the front of the store and stops when Alex calls his name, heading over to where she's standing at the cash register.

"Look, Carlos!" Alex holds a CD out to him and Carlos' eyebrows knit together as he looks at it. "Can we get it? _Please_?"

Sighing, Carlos takes the CD and looks at the front, shrugging. "Who's it by?"

"You don't see him?"

"I don't see anyone on the front of this album, no."

Alex sighs and turns the CD around in Carlos' hands. " _Now_  do you see him?"

When the back of the case is showing, Carlos nearly drops it when he sees the picture, immediately spotting Kendall. He swallows hard and looks at the photo again, noticing the other three guys that are standing around him, smiling and giving the typical 'boy band' pose. It takes a moment for it to all sink in and Carlos shakes his head, looking down the list of songs, nearly choking at the title of half of them, realizing that a few of them are probably about him.

"Can we get it?" Alex bounces up and down excitedly, looking up at Carlos with big, brown eyes.

Looking up, Carlos bites his lip and shrugs. "I dunno, Alex."

"Please, you won't have to buy me anything else!"

Camille chooses that moment to come up and she looks at the CD in Carlos' hand. "Oh, you saw it," she mutters, biting her lip.

"Yeah, Alex found it." Carlos doesn't even bring up the fact that Camille obviously knew about the CD before then. "I guess I'm going to buy a few copies because, why not?"

Alex cheers and grabs another one, shoving it into Carlos' hands. "Thank you, Litos!"

"No problem. You two ready to go?" When Camille and Alex nod at the same time, Carlos takes their stuff up to the register and pays for them, standing off to the side while Camille pays for her stuff, reading the title of the songs over and over again. He wants to be angry and hurt for not being told about the album - and possibly being the muse for some of the songs - but, really, he's just proud that Kendall is doing so well.

On the way back home, no one says anything. The radio is turned off and the only noise that cuts through the silence is the occasional rev of the engine when Carlos puts the pedal to the floor. He drops Alex off first, making a face when she kisses his cheek and thanks him again for buying her the CD. Once she's gone, Carlos pulls out of the driveway and starts driving toward Camille's house, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel.

"So, he made an album," he eventually says, the words coming out more hurt than he previously intended.

Nodding, Camille turns in her seat to look at him. "Yeah, he did."

"When did this happen?"

"They got signed on in July and made the album not long after that," she answers, chewing on her lip. "We didn't know if we should tell you or not."

Carlos swallows and nods slowly. "It's okay, I just... would've liked to have been informed, you know?"

"I know and I was going to tell you, but I guess it's pointless now?" Camille laughs quietly and puts a hand on her stomach, petting it lovingly.

"Don't worry about it. You've got enough to deal with right now and you shouldn't worry about keeping things from me," Carlos says, smiling when he glances at Camille, moving a hand off the steering wheel to touch her belly. "Worry about this little guy, okay?"

Another laugh comes from Camille's lips and she settles back against the seat. "I will," she murmurs, running her fingers over Carlos' hand.

They fall silent after that and Carlos leaves his hand on Camille's stomach until they pull up to her house. He kisses her cheek and waits until she's inside before pulling out of the driveway and heading home. The urge to put Kendall's CD in the stereo is strong but Carlos manages to resist it, wanting to wait until he's home to listen to the damn thing.

Carlos pulls into the driveway and lets the car idle for a moment before shutting the engine off. He grabs the bag and gets out of the car, letting the door shut behind him as he makes his way to the house, chest tightening more with each step. Once he's inside the house, Carlos lays his keys on the table near the door and kicks his shoes off, leaving his coat on until he gets to his room and then he tears it off, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thump.

Once his jacket is off, Carlos takes the CD out of the bag and starts to open it, putting the sticky pieces of plastic on the outside of the shopping bag as he makes his way to the dresser where his stereo is. He opens the case and takes the CD out, placing it gingerly into the stereo before shutting the top and heading over to the bed, snatching the remote off the nightstand.

After situating on the bed and taking the booklet out of the case, Carlos hits 'play' on the remote and lays it on the mattress beside him. As the first song plays, he looks through the lyrics and arches a brow when he hears heavy music play from his speakers. It's heavier than he anticipated and Carlos looks up at his stereo, eyebrows knitting together, mouth agape as the song continues to play, getting heavier by the second.

"Holy shit," he mumbles, looking back down at the booklet as the song plays and he realizes that it's about him. When he reads the lyrics, Carlos smiles a little and bites his lip, trying to keep the tears at bay and they stay away, until the next song plays. It's an acoustic one and he looks at the name of the song, letting out a small sobbing noise when he sees it: _Diamond._

For the next hour, Carlos listens to the CD all the way through and then goes back to listen to songs that hit him the hardest. He lays on the middle of his bed and closes his eyes, paying attention to the lyrics and listening to Kendall sing, a small, bittersweet smile on his face when he hears the other boy's voice. It may be torture to some and, yeah, it breaks Carlos' heart into a million pieces but he does have to admit: Kendall's band is fantastic.

It isn't until he's listened to the CD a third time that Carlos goes through the booklet again and sees the small paragraph about James in the back and that Kendall dedicated the album to both of them.

**x x**

When Christmas finally rolls around, Carlos is glad to have his family and friends around to distract him from thinking about Kendall's CD. It's all he's been able to think about since he picked it up and now he can focus on something else: having a good time with his family and getting drunk with his non-pregnant friends.

The Garcia house is packed with people and Carlos makes his rounds, hugging and kisses cousins and aunts that he hasn't seen in years. He carries a bottle of beer around with him and nurses it, shrugging off comments from a few people ("why are you drinking?" "beer is gross") before making his way back to the kitchen. He downs what's left in his bottle and goes to the fridge for another, snatching one off the shelf before twisting the cap off, tossing it and the empty into the trash.

"Carlos!" Camille calls out, coming into the kitchen with a big smile before huffing. "Your aunt Monica would _not_  stop touching my baby bump," she says, laying her hands on either side of her stomach, looking down at the sweater covering it before looking up at Carlos again. "She kept saying that he's going to be beautiful and that he's going to look more like Logan than me."

Grinning, Carlos takes a long pull from his beer and nods. "Probably... but he'll be beautiful either way," he says, smiling brightly.

"Are you going to hang out here all night?" Carlos shrugs and looks down at his beer. "Come on," Camille says, moving over to take his hand in hers, smiling softly. "Don't you want to watch Logan get hit on by your aunts?"

"I've seen that plenty."

Camille frowns and tugs his hand. "Please don't stay in here all night."

A noise comes from the living room and they turn to look that way, both of them laughing when they hear Logan yell out " _ay dios mio_ " at the top of his lungs. Carlos shakes his head and drains his beer, setting the empty bottle on the counter before lacing his fingers with Camille's, nodding toward the living room with a small smile.

"Come on, let's go in there and save him from my aunts," he says, letting her lead the way, smiling more when she squeezes his hand.

When they step into the living room, Carlos gets everyone's attention and announces that he wants to give the gifts out now. Logan looks at him with a grateful smile and scrambles away from the couch, nearly tripping in his attempt to get away from Carlos' aunts. He makes his way over to Carlos and Camille, taking her hand as he kisses her lips softly, smiling against them; the whole room 'awwwww's when they kiss and Carlos just rolls his eyes, clapping his hands together.

Everyone hands the presents out and they all end up sitting everywhere, unwrapping their things. Wrapping paper and bows cover the floor but no one pays says anything about the mess, their attention on their gifts and the people that gave them. Carlos slinks away to the kitchen when everyone is immersed in talking to one another and he pulls his phone out of his pocket, looking through the contacts. He bites his lower lip and looks at Kendall's name, knowing that he should have deleted it long ago, but he couldn't find the heart to do it.

Swallowing thickly, Carlos looks over his shoulder and moves toward the back door when he sees that everyone is distracted. He steps out into the night air and shivers, shutting the door quietly as he looks across the snow-covered yard, teeth chattering together. With a sigh, Carlos dials Kendall's number, blocking his own before hitting the call button and bringing the phone to his ear, listening to the line ring. It rings three times before it finally clicks over and Carlos can't breathe when he hears Kendall's voice.

"Hello?"

Carlos opens his mouth, lets out a strangled noise, and ends the call. He leans his head back against the window of the door and breathes harshly, trying to tamp down the feeling of nausea. When he feels like he isn't going to get sick, Carlos goes back inside and shoves his phone back into his pocket as he makes his way to the fridge, grabbing another beer. He twists the cap off and passes it over his knuckles as he stares at the fridge, wondering why he called Kendall.

"Carlos?" Logan's voice pulls Carlos out of his reverie and he looks at his best friend, arching a brow. "Are you alright?"

Something cracks in Carlos and he shakes his head, letting out a broken noise. "Not really," he admits, setting his beer down.

"What's wrong?" As he speaks, Logan comes forward and puts a hand on his friend's arm.

"I did something stupid and I shouldn't have," Carlos answers, laughing as he sits down at the counter. "I know you're going to ask, so I'll save you the trouble: I called Kendall and I don't know why I did. Maybe to hear his voice or to say that I miss him, maybe to congratulate him on the success, I don't know."

Logan purses his lips and goes to sit next to Carlos. " _Do_  you miss him?"

"Of  _course_  I miss him." The words come out broken and Carlos folds his arms on the table, letting his head fall on top of them. "I still miss him when things with Dallas are great and I was _just starting_  to get over it. It's been too long, Logan, and I know he doesn't miss me," he mutters.

"How do you _know_ , though? He did write - and fucking record - songs about you, that the whole world is listening to. That one is in the top ten on iTunes, so how do you know that he doesn't miss you, Litos?"

When Logan puts it like that, Carlos starts to think that he really doesn't know; he's just guessing. "I don't know but I have this feeling that he doesn't, okay? I feel like he went to Boston - and then California - and then he forgot all about me. I don't blame him, I guess, because there are a bunch of hotter guys out there than me."

"He's actually dating a guy in his band," Logan mutters, leaning over to rest his head against Carlos'. "He doesn't seem like a good fit for Kendall and I don't think he's happy with him."

"Oh that makes me feel so much better, thanks."

Laughing, Logan smacks the back of Carlos' head. "Come on, dude, lighten up."

"Don't want to," Carlos grumbles and he pulls away from Logan with a sigh. "I just want this night to be over so we can go home and I can sleep."

Logan nods his head and swallows. "Do you wanna call it a night and head home? I know Camille is getting tired and people keep asking her questions about the baby and her age and... it's fucking annoying. No offense to your family," he says, chuckling quietly.

"That's how my family is, don't worry about it." Grinning, Carlos grabs his beer and downs it in a couple gulps. "Let's go put things in the car and get it warmed up before we get Camille in it. Don't wanna freeze her or my nephew," he says on his way to the trash can, dropping the bottle into it.

"Alright, let's do it quickly, yeah? I don't want your aunts to find me and try to kiss me again."

Carlos laughs and shakes his head, slapping Logan on the back before steering him into the living room. While Logan goes to take Camille her jacket and tell her they're leaving, Carlos slips his own hoodie on and piles gifts into his arms before taking them outside. He puts them in Logan's car and goes back in to grab another pile, stopping long enough to let Logan put his key ring between his teeth before going back out to the car.

After everything is piled into the car and it's warming up, Carlos goes inside to say goodbye to his family and leaves the house with lip prints all over his face, which makes Camille laugh so hard that both he and Logan are worried she might send herself into early labor. She assures them that she's alright but giggles through the words, holding a hand on her belly as Logan backs out of the driveway. They head back to his house and the ride is quiet, save for Camille's occasional giggles and Carlos' grumbling.

When they get to the house, Carlos and Logan drag everything inside while Camille gets ready for bed. It takes them three trips and they set everything down in the living room before heading upstairs and saying goodnight to one another. Logan heads down the hall and Carlos goes the opposite way, sliding into his room quietly. Part of him wants to call Dallas to see how he's going but he resists the urge to do it so, instead, he strips down to his boxers and gets underneath his blankets, replaying the night over in his mind.

* * *

 _[Kendall]_   **[Winter]**

 _"On The Edge of Ordinary"_  comes out two weeks before Christmas. In that time, sales go through the roof and Kendall is blown away by the response people have to their music. To _his_  songs and the words he wrote, all by himself. It's so overwhelming that, when Jonathan tells them how well things are going, he actually cries from happiness and from being successful, when they all thought things would crash and burn to the ground before they even started.

A few days before Christmas, Kendall lounges on his bed and decides to search his name just for the hell of it. He types Kendall Knight in and stares at the screen when a bunch of pages come up, most of them being fan-related. It's flattering and crazy at the same time and it's something he would have never thought would happen to him but, here it is; all nine thousand results, each of them having something to do with Kendall and his band but most of the time it's just about him. Some of it starts to get creepy and by the tenth fan site, Kendall decides never to look himself up again.

Kendall brings the fan sites up at dinner that night and everyone laughs at him.

"Dude," he says, setting down his fork before leaning back, running his tongue along the front of his teeth. "Some thirteen -  _thirteen!_  - year old girl says that she wants to have my babies. This is crazy and insane and, to be honest, a little fucking creepy."

"Aw, baby, who _wouldn't_  wanna have your spawn?" Dustin winks and laughs, shoveling food into his mouth as Kendall glares at him.

From across the table, Josh snickers and runs a hand through his hair. "Obviously they don't understand that you're too old for them," he offers.

"Or gay," Kyle mumbles around a bite of chicken, smiling with his mouth closed.

"How could they know I'm gay? Why wouldn't they think one of you are gay or that we all are?"

"Come  _on_ ," Josh says, sweeping a hand between himself and Kyle as he continues, "we're the straightest looking of the group."

Snorting, Kendall rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. "Right and I look gay?"

"Just a bit," Dustin answers and everyone glares at him. "What?"

"They were saying that  _we_ ," Kendall motions between them, "are the gayest looking of the group. Which offends me; hurts me right here," he says, putting a hand over his heart and laughing when Josh flips him off.

"Well, it's true because you two are gay," Kyle says as he stands, taking the empty plates.

Josh laughs and finishes his last bite. "It's not our fault that you two are boning."

"I should have searched your names and found out what kind of people want to have your babies," Kendall mutters, pushing away from the table before standing. "I think I'm going to do that right now. I hope some eighty year old woman wants to jump your bones."

"Can't go to jail for robbing the grave!" Josh sing-songs, grinning as he watches Kendall disappear and go up the stairs.

A few minutes later, Kendall comes back down with his laptop in his hands and turns it to show Josh. "A twelve year old thinks that you're her boyfriend and she loves you because you're 'the cutest member of the band.' So suck on that," he says, setting the computer down.

"She's got a few years to go," Josh mumbles, going back to the Google results.

"Yeah, by the time she's legal you'll be halfway to sixty."

Josh flips Kendall off again and types Dustin's name in. "There's not much about Dustin."

"He's the least favourite of the band." Smirking, Kendall goes to the fridge and grabs a beer, looking at the notices on the fridge door as he twists the cap off his bottle, turning it over between his fingertips. "Dude," he says, turning back to his friends, "we have an interview tomorrow."

Slapping his hands against the table top, Dustin sighs. "Really? I was going to go to the UPS store to send me stuff off," he grumbles.

"You'll have time to do that before the interview... and then," Kendall murmurs, looking at the sheet hanging from a magnet on the door, "we have a photo shoot the day after that and more interviews going up to and after Christmas."

"Good thing none of us planned on going home," Josh mumbles, coming up behind Kendall to look at the sheet. "What time is the interview?"

Kendall points at the sheet and takes a long sip from his beer. "Six in the evening and -  _holy shit_! It's at one of the biggest radio stations in L.A."

"Don't you guys listen to Jonathan when he comes over to tell us these things?" Kyle turns to look over his shoulder, smiling sweetly when his friends glare at him. "I'm just saying, it wouldn't hurt to pay attention to the man who's helping us become famous," he says, shrugging as he turns back to the sink.

"Yeah, yeah, just finish washing the dishes." Kyle flips Kendall off over his shoulder and then goes back to rinsing dishes. "So I guess we'll have to get everything done before five, huh," he says, shaking his head as he takes a long pull from his beer.

Dustin groans and pushes away from the table. "Then I'm going to pack all of my family's presents so they'll be ready," he says on his way to the stairs.

"I'll help you." Kendall sighs and claps Josh on the back before following Dustin up the stairs, downing his beer before they get to the top of the staircase. He sets the empty bottle on the nightstand in Dustin's room and rolls his head side to side, trying to crack his neck. "How much stuff do you have to put in shipping boxes?"

"Lots," Dustin answers as he pulls a pile of stuff out from the closet. When he gets everything settled, Kendall stares at it with wide eyes and shakes his head, chuckling quietly. He moves over to the pile and grabs a box, putting it together as he watches Dustin organize things into piles before they get started.

It takes two hours for them to put everything in boxes and write the addresses on them. When they're done, Dustin and Kendall strip down to nothing, climb into bed, have sex, and then fall asleep earlier than normal so they'll be well rested for their first radio interview.

**x x**

Kendall wakes up the next morning and takes a shower by himself, trying to psych himself up for the interview. He gets out when the water turns cold and throws on some random clothes when he's dry, before going downstairs for breakfast... which ends up being an apple in the car because Dustin hurries him out of the house. They drive to the UPS store and Kendall ends up standing in there for an hour, listening to his boyfriend argue with the woman at the desk.

When they finally leave the UPS store, Kendall's stomach growls loudly and he decides to go get breakfast for everyone. He's in and out in fifteen minutes with a box of donuts, muffins, and a carrier of coffee which all gets handed to Dustin, save for one of the coffees and a donut. The drive back home is quiet and Kendall eats happily, scarfing down three donuts and an entire cup of coffee before they pull into their driveway. Josh and Kyle are up and waiting for them in the kitchen, both of them grabbing the food from Dustin's hands before tearing into it.

For the rest of the day, the band hangs out either inside or on the beach behind their house, having fun before their interview. Kendall decides to stay back for the most part, hanging out on the porch with his acoustic in hand, strumming and singing quietly to himself as he watches his friends run around on the sand. Eventually Dustin joins him and the two of them talk while Josh and Kyle are off somewhere, probably hitting on girls or trying to pick them up by saying,  _"Hey, I'm a rock star."_

Jonathan sends a car to pick them up at five o'clock and the boys file out of the house, wearing their best clothes despite it being a radio interview, but they were instructed to look nice in case anyone decided to take pictures. When they get into the car and start heading toward the station, Kendall's nerves are through the roof and he bounces his leg up and down, tapping his fingers against his thighs nervously.

It's not long before they arrive at the station and everyone scrambles out of the car before heading into the building. From the second they step inside, everyone tries to make them feel at ease and makes them feel at home, which does wonders for Kendall's nerves. By the time they go into the studio, all of his fears disappear completely and he's smiling brightly when they take their seats and put the headphones on.

"My name's Mike," the disc jockey says, smiling at all the boys.

"Kendall."

"Dustin."

"Josh."

"And Kyle," he adds, holding a hand up before waving.

Mike laughs and nods his head at all of them. "We'll be live in a few minutes," he says and the guys just nod their head.

The boys sit quietly for a few minutes, looking around the room until Mike starts talking again. He addresses the audience and starts to talk about the band, describing them and talking about their recent success. The whole things makes Kendall blush and he runs a hand across his face before tugging at the collar of his shirt.

"So," the DJ starts, swiveling in his chair to look at the guys, "who's the lead singer?"

"I am," Kendall says, chuckling as he sits up.

Nodding, Mike grins and taps his fingers against the control board. "How did the band come to be?"

"Well," he pauses to huff quietly before continuing, "Dustin and Josh were my roommates at Berklee - "

"The school of music, correct?"

Kendall laughs and nods slowly. "That would be the one. Anyway, they were my roommates and we formed a small, garage-like band with Kyle," he motions toward the other boy, "and started playing in showcases that the school put on. Jonathan Parker was at our last show and that just happened to be the one where we played an original song -  _Diamond_ , to be exact - and he loved it and us. That's when he offered to sign us and... it didn't take us long to make up our mind. After that, we flew out here, made the album, and now it's doing great."

"Wow," Mike breathes, whistling softly. "That's like a dream come true, right?"

"That's right," Josh answers, clearing his throat. "We all went to Berklee thinking that we would complete our education and become stage techs or maybe even producers. None of us believed that we would be signed onto a major record label in our second year of school."

Mike raises his eyebrows and shakes his head, smiling. "And the album is a success. Diamond is at the top of the charts," he says and Kendall blushes and chews on his lower lip, folding his hands on the table in front of him. "Who wrote all the songs?"

"Kendall did." Pointing to Kendall, Dustin grins proudly. "He wrote them all and we still have more for another album."

"Is that true?" Mike asks.

Nodding, Kendall clears his throat and scratches the back of his head. "They originally weren't meant to be real songs, just stuff that I was writing to help cope with some hard stuff I had been going through, but these guys loved it," he motions toward the band, "and Jonathan Parker loved them, so they become  _On The Edge_."

"Now, Diamond is a powerful song. It gives away hints that it may be about another guy, is that true?"

"Yep," Kendall answers, smiling softly. "It's about my ex-boyfriend, who died just a month before I started school."

The atmosphere changes and Kendall swallows thickly. "I'm sorry to hear that," Mike says and Kendall nods slowly. "So, what about the rest of the songs? Who - or what - are they about, if you don't mind my asking?"

"They're all mostly about James, my ex that died, and my ex that's still living in Minnesota."

Josh puts a hand on Kendall's shoulder and squeezes. "There's a write up in the back of the booklet about James and Kendall even dedicated the album to him and his other ex, Carlos," he says, his voice soft.

"Wow, you must have loved them."

"Yeah, I did." Kendall chuckles quietly and shrugs a shoulder. "That's why I wrote a bunch of songs about them and let it be shown to the world."

Mike smiles softly and nods like he understands. "So, how are you guys enjoying California and fame?"

"This is the first time I think we've all been somewhere that doesn't have a typical winter," Kyle answers, chuckling. "We're all from the east coast and came from places that got cold during the winter, so it's beyond nice to have amazing weather all year 'round."

"Well," Kendall starts and laughs quietly. "I don't know about the weather being amazing. There have been a few storms that have kind of scared us but, other than that, it's been great. Being noticed on the street is kind of weird and - "

"The fan sites!" Dustin interrupts.

The DJ's brows knit together and he stares at Dustin. "The fan sites?"

"Yeah, they're weird. Kendall searched our names the other day and we've already got sites dedicated to us. They're made by teenage girls," he answers, laughing when he looks over at Kendall, who's glaring at him.

"Ah, yes. The teenage fans," Mike says, laughing. "Better watch out for them when you start doing concerts."

Kendall laughs and nods his head. "Yeah, guess we will."

"Speaking of concerts, when are you guys planning on going on tour?"

"In a few months, when the album's been out for a while."

"Are you all excited to tour?" Mike asks and they all nod eagerly. "Well, we need to cut to a commercial but we'll be back with these boys in a moment, stay with us.

While they go to commercial, the boys take their phones out and start tweeting pictures of the studio and each other, even posting a few snapshots of Mike and other members of the staff. The break doesn't last long and the phones get tucked away when Mike announces they're back on the air and he spends the rest of the interview asking more questions, focusing on getting to know the boys even more. It lasts for another half an hour before the band is allowed to go but not before they stop to take pictures with Mike and some of the staff.

On their way out of the studio, Kendall leans against Dustin and grumbles about interview questions and being hungry. The rest of the band agrees and they end up going to a restaurant down the road, where they're recognized by half of the patrons. For an hour before and after dinner, they take pictures and sign autographs for fans, answering question after question that's thrown their way.

It's well past eleven when the guys finally get home and they immediately go to bed, exhausted from their day and because they need to get up early for their photo shoot the next day. They go to their own rooms and Kendall stays awake for a while, thinking about Carlos and James, letting his mind wander to the summer that made him what he is now and the tragedy that caused him to become a successful song writer and musician.

He falls asleep and hour later and wakes up early in the morning when Dustin screams that he's going to shave his hair because he can't style it right.

From there, Kendall's morning goes downhill and he ends up taking care of getting the guys ready and out to the car. Once everyone is situated and not complaining about something, Kendall drives them to the studio where their shoot is scheduled and it goes without a hitch. No one complains about their hair or makeup or even their outfits and by the end of the day no one's head gets shaved.

After their photo shoot, the band as four more interviews before finally getting a break for Christmas.

**x x**

When Christmas comes, Josh and Kyle leave in the early afternoon to go to an all-day-and-night party a few miles down the beach. They try to persuade Kendall and Dustin to come with them but they decline, choosing to stay in the house alone instead of going to part with strangers. When their friends leave, they scream "Merry Christmas" at the top of their lungs until they get into the car and they drive off down the street, leaving Dustin and Kendall alone on Christmas day.

Dustin lays on the couch and Kendall curls up against his side, humming quietly. "What should we do?"

"I think we should have sex on every inch of the house," Dustin answers, dragging a hand through Kendall's hair, "and then we should open our gifts."

"Mmm... that sounds like a good idea." With a quiet laugh, Kendall moves to straddle Dustin's lap and leans down to kiss him, moaning when his stubble rubs against his skin. He closes his eyes and breathes through his nose, pushing his hips down until Dustin parts his lips and allows his tongue to slide inside. Kendall licks his way into the other boy's mouth and growls when he hears - and feels - his boyfriend moan, both of his hands going to his hips, squeezing them tightly.

The first place they have sex is one the couch; from there, they move to the kitchen, the laundry room, the stairs, the hallway, Dustin's bedroom, and finally end up in the bathroom, where they end their marathon of sex. Kendall and Dustin take a long shower together before going downstairs to open their gifts and the stay naked the entire time, not putting clothes on until everything is opened. They go upstairs and Dustin puts his pajama bottoms on before climbing into bed while Kendall throws on a pair of gym shorts and goes downstairs to smoke on the back porch.

Once Kendall is outside, he sits down and puts his feet up on the railing, lighting his cigarette before playing with his phone. He texts his family and friends, sending a simple 'Merry Christmas' as he pulls smoke deep into his lungs before letting it out slowly. Sighing, Kendall tips his head back and looks at the stars, flicking the butt of his cigarette with his thumbnail, letting the ashes fall onto the porch.

Faint laughter and music come from down the beach and Kendall glances toward where it's coming from, smiling softly as he finishes half of his cigarette. He shakes his head and flicks his ashes again, getting ready to bring his cigarette back to his mouth when his phone goes off, startling him out of his thoughts. Blinking, Kendall holds his cigarette between his middle and fore fingers as he grabs his phone, staring at the screen, his eyebrows knitting together when he sees 'unknown' flash across the screen.

Shrugging, Kendall answers the call and brings the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

The other line is quiet and then someone makes a noise before hanging up. Kendall stares at his phone and shrugs his shoulders, laying it down on his thigh again before going to finish his cigarette. He grinds it out against the railing when he's done and stands up, tossing the crushed filter into a bucket that they use for cigarette butts. After stretching and looking out across the beach again, Kendall goes inside and heads upstairs quickly, slipping into bed with Dustin.

As he lays in bed, Kendall wonders who the unknown call was from and it keeps him awake for nearly an hour before he finally lets it go and allows his body to relax enough so that he can fall asleep. He sleeps peacefully through the night and only wakes up once when Josh and Kyle come stumbling up the stairs, laughing and yelling "shh" at each other in an attempt to keep one another quiet.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: talk of hospitals and icky things; happiness for everyone!, but then also some sad.]

_[Camille]_ **[April]**

"I'm so  _big_ ," Camille grumbles, laying on the middle of the bed with her hands on her stomach. She can barely see Carlos over the bump and she groans, sitting up on her elbows with a huff. "When's he supposed to come out? Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant but I am  _so_  ready for this little boy to come out already."

Grinning, Carlos leans over to put a hand on her belly. "He's due any day now," he mutters and Camille sighs, looking down at the fabric stretched over her stomach, watching as her friend's fingers stroke over it slowly, lovingly.

"You're being so sweet through all of this. Are you still going to be this nice when he's screaming and crying?"

"Of course," Carlos answers, looking up at her through his lashes. "I don't have anywhere else to go, now do I?"

Camille nods slowly and hums, focusing on the way Carlos is rubbing her stomach. She remembers the fight he and Dallas had a few months back and how they had broken up on the spot, both of them yelling at one another. She also remembers how upset and heartbroken Carlos had been, but she had done her best to keep him occupied with baby things and that seemed to help. Now Carlos seems to be better and he's been helping with more baby things, like getting the nursery ready and helping Logan put together the crib. _That_  had been fun to watch.

Suddenly, Carlos gasps and starts to giggle. "He kicked," he breathes, amazed.

"He does that, honey." Camille laughs and puts her hand on his, feeling the baby kick again. "I think he's ready to be out of mommy's tummy. Aren't you little guy? Yeah, mommy wants you out of her tummy, too, so she can hold you and not be so big," she mutters, smiling when she looks up at Carlos.

"You still look beautiful." With a smile, Carlos leans forward and kisses Camille's cheek. "I'm going over to my mom's for a bit, but I'll have my phone on if you need me, okay? Just call and I'll drive right back here, no problem."

Humming quietly, Camille turns and grabs pillows, stacking them behind her."Bring me the knitting basket," she says once she's situated.

"Finally going to knit me that purple hat?" Carlos gets off the bed and goes to grab the basket, bringing it back to Camille.

"I already made you a hot pink one," she answers, sticking her tongue out at him before going to open the top. "But if you really want a purple hat, I can probably have one made for you by tonight."

Carlos grins and leans down to kiss the top of her head. "Thanks," he whispers before pulling back. Camille waves him off and watches him go, shaking her head as she turns to the basket to grab her needles and yarn. Once she's gotten everything together, she leans over to grab her phone and iPod off the nightstand, sticking her earphones in and selecting a song before going to work on Carlos' hat.

**x x**

Two hours later, Camille finishes the hat for Carlos and she puts it aside before standing up. The moment she's vertical, a pain shoots through her stomach and back, causing her to cry out and fall back down onto the bed. She clenches her eyes shut and breathes heavily, a hand laying against the side of her belly until the pain subsides enough for her to call someone. The first person she calls is Carlos and she puts the phone to her ear, screaming loudly when another pain comes.

"Camille?" Carlos answers and the only response she can give is heavy panting. "Holy shit, are you alright?"

"Think I'm having," she starts and pauses to whimper loudly, "contractions. Come.. come get me, Litos."

Silence creeps over the other line before Carlos yells out, "Holy fucking shit! Camille's having the baby."

Once Carlos calms down and says that he's on his way, Camille hangs up and tries to send a text to Logan, her hands shaking the entire time. After misspelling something five times, she decides to let Carlos handle texting everyone and gets out of bed carefully, making her way downstairs without any pain.

When she gets downstairs, Camille goes to lay on the couch and screams in pain again, hands flying to her stomach protectively. She breathes through the pain like her doctor taught her and keeps her eyes clenched shut until Carlos comes in. The door opens and closes half a second later, the sound of Carlos' footsteps following it and Camille smiles softly, pushing herself up until she's standing.

"Where's your bag? Holy shit,  _holy shit_  - shouldn't Logan be doing this? I need to text him, oh god." Carlos looks panicked and Camille shakes her head, laughing through the pain as she makes her way to the door. "Do you need help?"

"My bag is beside the door and I may need to lean on you." She gives Carlos a small smile and then holds onto him when another contraction hits, her hand gripping his shoulder tightly. He cries out softly but lets Camille hold onto him until the pain passes before going to grab her bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "Text Logan in the car," she huffs, moving toward the door with Carlos.

Nodding, Carlos slips an arm around her waist and leads her outside. "I'll text him when we get you in the car," he says, parroting her words.

The two of them make it to the car and Carlos opens the door for Camille, watching her slip inside before going back to shut the door. She watches him and smiles fondly, both hands on her belly, smoothing over the fabric of her t-shirt. When Carlos gets back into the car, he puts the bag in the backseat before grabbing his phone to send Logan a quick text. All the while, Camille breathes in through her nose and out through her mouth, watching him text.

After the message is sent, Carlos starts the car and Camille puts her seat belt on, whimpering in pain. She bites down on her lip and lets her head fall back against the seat, eyes screwed shut and fingers tightening around the fabric of her shirt. Carlos is saying something to her but she can't hear or understand it, too focused on the pain in her stomach in back to pay attention to anything else. When the pain fades a little, she opens her eyes and looks over at Carlos, chewing nervously on her lower lip.

"I'm scared, Litos."

Carlos laughs and that makes her smile a bit. "Should have thought about that nine months ago, babe."

"Mmm..." She closes her eyes and moves her hands to the dashboard, gripping it tightly. "I'm not scared of the labor," she grits out, breathing heavily between words, "I'm afraid of being a bad mother."

"You and Logan are going to be great parents." As he drives, Carlos glances over at Camille and puts a hand on hers, stroking it lovingly before turning back to the road. "And you've got me, your parents, Logan's parents, my mom and dad... so you won't be without help, I promise. I know I'm ignorant when it comes to babies and stuff but I did help raise Alex somewhat," he says, chuckling when Camille lets out a pained laugh.

The contraction fades and Camille holds Carlos' hand gently. "I love you, Carlos. You know that, don't you?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I?"

"You're going to be... going to be the best uncle to this baby," she whispers, playing with his fingers.

Smiling, Carlos nods and pulls into the hospital parking lot, swinging the car to the ER entrance. "Come on, let's go have a baby."

Camille laughs at that and nods slowly, watching Carlos get out of the car and go around to open the door for her. She gets out and leans mostly on him, one of her hands fisted in the fabric of his shirt, tugging it as another pain comes along. This one isn't as bad as the others and it doesn't keep her from walking, so Camille goes inside and falls into the first wheelchair available as Carlos goes to talk to the nurses.

Soon, someone is wheeling her down the hall and Camille glances over her should at Carlos, who is running out of the hospital. There's a knot in her stomach and Camille doesn't know if that's because she's in labor or because she actually is afraid to do this. A part of her believes that she's mainly afraid of being alone in the delivery room but she knows that's not going to happen; Logan is going to be in there and so is her mother.

With her mind at ease, Camille lets the nurses take her upstairs to the labor and delivery unit. She doesn't complain when they get her out of her comfortable clothing and into one of those thin, stupid hospital gowns. No complaints are given when they start sticking her with IVs and needles and there are definitely no complaints when they hook her up to the rest of the machines. The nurses explain what each monitor is for and she nods her head slowly as they talk, feeling a contraction come along.

"FUCK, FUCK,  _FUCK_!" Camille screams at the top of her lungs and leans her head back against the pillows, whimpering quietly in between groans and moans of pain. A few tears slip out and she wipes them away quickly, drying her fingers on the bed sheet. The pain goes away just when Carlos comes into the room and he announces his presence to everyone, which makes Camille open her eyes and look toward the door. A smile curves along her lips when she sees a familiar face standing beside Carlos.

Carlos grins when he sees Camille smile and comes in, the overnight bag slung over his shoulder. "Look who I found," he sing-songs.

"Mrs. Knight," she says, voice slightly broken from the pain and screaming. "Hi."

"How are you feeling, honey?" Jennifer asks as she moves into the room, pressing her hand against Camille's forehead.

Chuckling dryly, Camille closes her eyes and swallows. "Like I'm pregnant and about to have a baby," she answers.

"But other than that you're fine?" Camille nods her head slightly and smiles. "I guess I'm going to be your nurse tonight."

"Really?" Carlos and Camille say at the same time, both of them laughing together.

Jennifer smiles and nods, pulling her hand away from Camille's forehead. "Yes, really. Where's Logan?"

"He's on his way. He was with his parents when I texted him; should be here in a few minutes." Smiling, Carlos goes to put Camille's bag on one of the chairs and takes a seat at the window, clasping his hands between his legs. "So, I guess we wait?"

"We wait until Camille is fully dilated and then we'll have a baby." Jennifer smiles and goes to check all of the monitors, nodding at Camille's vitals, along with the baby's. She comes back to the bedside a few moments later and pats Camille's hand gently. "Do you want anything?"

Camille shakes her head and then arches slightly. "I want - oh fucking  _Christ_  - Logan.."

"He'll be here in a few minutes, sweetie." With another smile, Jennifer looks at Carlos and nods her head. "I'll be back in a little bit to check you, okay?"

"Okay," Camille rasps, nodding slowly.

After nodding again, Jennifer walks to the door and turns around. "Has your water broken yet?"

"No, it hasn't."

"Okay." After that, Jennifer leaves again and Camille closes her eyes, curling up on her side a bit. It helps with the pain and she takes a deep breath, listening to the monitors beep all around her and it helps keep her mind off the pain. She somehow falls asleep for a few minutes and wakes up when Logan comes in, smiling sleepily at him. He smiles back at her and pulls a chair up beside her bed, taking her hand in his as they begin the waiting process.

**x x**

A couple hours later, Jennifer and another nurse stand Camille up to take her for a walk when her water breaks. The boys make a disgusted face at it and Camille lets out a huge sigh of relief. Once they've cleaned the floor up, she's allowed to walk down the hall with Logan in an attempt to speed up the labor. They walk hand in hand down the hall and stop every few minutes when Camille has a contraction; she holds onto Logan and buries her face against his chest, hands gripping his shirt tightly.

They circle around for a while and eventually go back to the room. Camille climbs into bed just moments before the doctor comes in to check her and he announces that she's starting to get there, but she's got a while to go. Everyone is disappointed to hear that and Camille decides to go back to sleep until the pain wakes her up again. She wakes up from the pain and begs Logan to get in bed with her and, after a few minutes of hesitation, he finally obliges and climbs in behind her. They lay together carefully and Camille squeezes his hand tightly whenever the pain comes, not easing up until a few minutes after it's faded.

Several hours pass and Carlos goes home to catch a nap, giving Camille a kiss on the forehead before leaving. She promises to have Logan call him when she's about to have the baby and he leaves with a smile on his face. It's dark outside and Camille gets a few minutes of sleep before the pain becomes too much for her to handle. When this happens, she makes Logan go get the nurse and they come in with the doctor to check her again before giving her any pain medication.

"You're halfway there," the doctor says, smiling at Logan and Camille before leaving the room.

Camille starts to lose track of time and the hours blur together. She doesn't know exactly how long she's been in the hospital but she does know that she wants to get the labor over with already so she can see her son. After another couple of hours, the doctor comes back in and check her again, grinning broadly when he announces that she only has a little ways to go. When he says that, Logan calls their family and tells them that Camille is going to have the baby soon. All of them come to the hospital and the only ones allowed in the room are Logan and Camille's mother.

Three hours and lots of pushing later, Camille gives birth to a healthy baby boy.

**x x**

Isaac Levi Mitchell is born on April 19th at 5:07 PM to Camille Roberts and Logan Mitchell.

He weighs seven pounds and is twenty-one inches long.

* * *

_[Logan]_

When he hears his son scream for the first time, Logan breaks down in tears. He holds Camille's hand, kisses her forehead, whispers  _'I love you'_  over and over while tears stream down his face. He knows that he should probably feel embarrassed by how he's reacting his his son's birth but Logan honestly doesn't care; other than meeting Camille, this is the best thing that's ever happened to him.

"Are you alright, baby?"

Camille nods and smiles sleepily up at him. "Go look at him," she rasps. "Tell me that he's perfect."

That makes Logan grin and he leans down to kiss her lips softly, nodding as he straightens up. Across the room, their son is screaming and crying at the top of his lungs while nurses work to clean him up. He's bright pink and wriggling when Logan steps over to the small table and he puts a hand over his mouth, feeling more tears stream down his cheeks as he looks down at his baby; the life that he and Camille created together.

"Congratulations," Jennifer says, coming up behind Logan. He turns to look at her and makes a sobbing noise before hugging her. "He's  _beautiful_  and you two are going to be amazing parents, I can just tell."

"Thank you," Logan chokes out, holding onto Jennifer until another nurse says his name. Sniffling, he lets go and turns to face the nurse that had gotten his attention, giving her a smile. "Yes?"

The nurse smiles and hands him a blue bundle. "Here's your son," she says and Logan takes the baby carefully, smiling.

Everyone who doesn't need to stay in the room leaves and Logan moves to the bed with the baby, cradling him gently in his arm. He sits down on the edge of the mattress next to Camille and smiles down at her, tears rimming his eyes again. Neither of them say anything for a moment and Logan pats the baby on the bottom as he looks at him, marveling at the perfection of something so tiny.

"Is he perfect?" Camille asks and Logan looks up, biting his lip softly.

"Yeah, baby," he answers, smiling through the tears, "he's perfect."

Smiling sleepily, Camille nods and holds her hands out, laying the baby on her chest when Logan hands him to her. "What should we name him?"

Taking a deep breath, Logan runs a hand through his hair and watches Camille with their baby, smiling fondly. He takes a moment to just watch her interact with him and he moves a hand to the little guy's head, touching his hair softly. A chuckle escapes when he realizes that their son has a full head of hair and he shakes his head, sniffling quietly.

"Isaac," he says, barely ghosting his fingertips over the baby's cheek. "Isaac Levi."

Camille looks up and smiles brightly, nodding. "I love it," she whispers, turning her attention back to the baby. "Hi, Isaac."

"Happy Birthday little man," Logan whispers as he leans over to kiss the top of Isaac's head. He pulls away a little and leans in to kiss Camille's lips softly, smiling against them before straightening up. "Does it feel surreal to you or is it just me?"

"It feels that way to me."

Logan smiles and sits down in the chair beside the bed, looking at Camille's mom. "Do you wanna hold him, Melissa?"

"I can wait," she answers, giving a tired smile.

"You can hold him, mom." Camille looks up and smiles, her finger stilling on Isaac's cheek.

Melissa smiles more and moves over to the bed, gently taking Isaac from Camille. She cradles him in her arms and sways back and forth a little, talking to him softly. Logan watches quietly and smiles, taking Camille's hand for a moment, lacing their fingers together as he rubs his thumb over the back of hers. After a few minutes, he gets up and kisses her softly, explaining that he's going to collect the other grandparents so they can see him and so he can go smoke a cigar with Carlos.

"Take your time," Camille says, smiling softly at Logan before watching her mom.

After kissing Isaac on the head and telling him that daddy will be right back, Logan goes out into the hall and nearly sprints down to the waiting room, bursting through the door with a big smile on his face. His parents get up and hug him tightly, saying congratulations over and over; he blushes deeply and tells them that they can go ahead to Camille's room to see the baby. He also sends her dad down to her room and watches them walk away before going over to Carlos.

"Ready for that cigar?"

Carlos grins and nods eagerly. "Sure am," he answers and stands up, wrapping Logan in his arms. "I'm so happy for you, dude."

"Me too," Logan agrees, laughing as he claps Carlos on the back a couple of times. "You're going to  _love him_ , Litos. He's the tiniest, cutest, most precious little baby in the entire world and he's  _perfect_ , dude."

"Let's go smoke real quick so we can come back and I can see him."

The two of them go down to the elevator and Logan watches Carlos text his parents while they wait, body thrumming with excitement. He nearly jumps into the elevator when the doors open and he bounces the entire way down, laughing when Carlos tells him to chill out. Once they get to the bottom floor, Logan takes his phone out and starts sending texts to all of his friends to announce the birth of his baby and the first person he sends a message to is Kendall. He takes the time to personalize that one and says: _"You're an uncle! His name is Isaac Levi. Will send pictures soon, hope the tour is going great! Can't wait to see you in June. Love, Logan."_

Once all of the messages are sent, Logan slips his phone into his pocket and follows Carlos out of the hospital, walking with him across the street since they're not allowed to smoke near the hospital. When they've gone far enough and they're still in sight of the hospital but not actually on the grounds, Carlos takes two cigars from his pocket and hands one to Logan. He grabs a lighter from his pocket and lights the end, puffing on it as the flame engulfs the tip.

"My parents will be here soon," Carlos says as he blows smoke into the air.

Logan nods and smiles brightly, turning the cigar around between his fingers. "I can wait to see your mom hold him," he says quietly.

"Dude, she can't wait to hold him. She's bringing by some food, too, because hospital food blows."

"I love your mom so fucking much." Logan laughs and brings the cigar back to his mouth, taking a few more puffs before bending down to grind the tip out against the pavement. Thank god they were cheap cigars, or else he'd feel bad for not smoking the whole thing. When he straightens up, Logan hands the cigar back to Carlos and slips his hands into the pockets of his jacket, smiling like an idiot. "It's weird, you know, but I already miss his tiny little face and his nose," he mutters and Carlos laughs at him.

After putting his own cigar out, Carlos puts them into a case and slips it into his jacket. "Ready to go back inside then?"

"Dude, yes." Laughing, Logan puts an arm around Carlos and pulls him close, leading him to the hospital. They walk inside together and Logan nearly runs to the elevators, pushing the button rapidly until it dings and one opens up. The ride back upstairs is quiet and Logan is still bouncing slightly, his hands curled into fists inside his pockets.

When they get back to the floor where Camille and Isaac are, Logan takes Carlos back to the waiting room. "I'll come get you when everyone else leaves, okay? We want to talk to you alone, without the family," he explains, giving his friend a smile before going back to Camille's room... where everyone is standing around.

Isaac is being held by Logan's dad and he smiles at him, peeling his jacket off before hanging it on the back of a chair a few feet away from the bed where Camille is sitting. He moves over quietly and leans down, kissing her lips softly before taking a seat on the bed next to her, letting Camille take his hand and squeeze it lightly. They watch as their son is passed from person to person, each of them talking to him in that traditional baby talk and Logan's not the least bit bothered by it. He smiles when he hears it and wonders if that's how he sounds when he talks to Isaac.

Eventually the room gets cleared out and everyone kisses the baby, Camille, and Logan goodbye. The three of them watch as their family files out of the room and Logan holds Isaac so that his body is laying along the length of his forearms. He holds him carefully, laying his arms in his lap to ensure that he doesn't drop him, and he talks to him in that annoying baby talk, calling him a plethora of different names.

"Do you think we should get Carlos in here now?"

Logan looks up and nods, smiling. "Yeah, probably should," he says, handing Isaac to Camille. "I'll be right back."

* * *

_[Carlos]_

Waiting sucks and there's only so much Carlos can do in a hospital. He chews on his tongue ring for lack of a better thing to do and it still kind of hurts, even two months after getting it done, so he stops doing that quickly. So, instead, Carlos stares at the clock on the wall and tilts his head from side to side, moving it in time with the ticking of the clock. He's about to get up and go see what Mrs. Knight is up to when Logan steps into the room and motions for him to come out into the hall.

"Come on, Isaac's waiting." Logan smiles and Carlos gets up immediately, following his friend out into the hall. His heart beats rapidly with every step they take and his palms are sweating when they step into the room. There's a nurse in there to check on Camille and the baby and she smiles at Logan and Carlos when they come in. After she's done, she gathers her things and slips out into the hall, leaving the four of them alone.

Camille smiles at him and Carlos smiles back. "You look gorgeous," he says and he means it; for someone who just had a baby, Camille looks great.

"Thank you, Litos," she answers, smiling as she shifts the blue bundle in her arms and there's a quiet whimpering noise. "Do you want to hold him?"

"I've been waiting to hold this little guy for months," he says, smiling brightly as he comes over to the bed, arms extended. When Camille places Isaac in his arms, Carlos cradles him close to his bod and his smile widens instantly. "You look just like your daddy."

Logan laughs and takes a seat next to Camille. "Didn't your family say that was going to happen?"

"Think so." As Carlos speaks, he moves around the end of the bed and takes a seat in one of the chairs. "God, he's so perfect," he whispers, moving a hand over the top of Isaac's head, feeling how soft his hair is. A quiet chuckle leaves his throat and he shakes his hand, returning his hand to the baby's bottom.

"We wanted to talk to you about something," Logan starts, and Carlos nods slowly, humming to show that he's paying attention. "We were talking about it a lot over the past few months and... we'd really like it if you'd be Isaac's godfather."

The second Logan says 'godfather,' Carlos looks up at him and opens his mouth, staring at them in disbelief. He shakes his head and gives them a huge smile before turning back to Isaac, running a fingertip along his cheek. Even though he knows what his answer is, Carlos still takes a moment to think about it and he goes over the responsibilities that would be put on his shoulders, should Logan and Camille pass away before Isaac turns eighteen.

"So...?" Camille hedges, folding her hands on her lap.

"Yeah," Carlos answers, nodding as he looks back up at them, grinning. "Yes, I'll be his godfather."

Both of his friends smile at him and Logan wraps an arm around Camille. "That's great, thank you."

"Thank  _you._ " Softening his smile a little, Carlos turns back to Isaac and shifts him so that he's laying on his thighs. He talks to him in the typical baby talk and doesn't pay attention to Logan when he laughs at him. Carlos is in his own little world and he's happy to be an uncle - and godfather - to such a perfect baby.

**x x**

Camille runs Carlos out of the room when it's time to feed Isaac and he goes willingly, roaming the halls as he waits to be let back into the room. He's got a grin on his face and can't help but tell people that he's an uncle; he expects people to think he's weird but they just smile and congratulate him before going on their way. On his third trip down the hall, Carlos sees his mom and dad step off the elevator and he goes over to them, immediately hugging them both.

"He's being fed right now," explains, motioning toward the waiting room. "Logan will come get us when he's done."

Sylvia smiles and sits down, covering her mouth with both hands. "I can't believe Logan's a father," she breathes, eyes wide.

"I can't either," Miguel agrees.

"Yeah, well, I can't either and I've been the guy's best friend forever." Biting his lip, Carlos leans against the wall and taps his foot against the tile, taking his phone out to text Gustavo and tell him about the baby. "He is so fucking cute, like, you guys have no idea," he says, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

His parents look at each other and smile. "They named him Isaac?"

"Isaac Levi, yep."

"That's a nice name," Sylvia hums and Miguel nods his head slowly, taking his wife's hand. "I feel like I'm a grandmother."

Carlos laughs quietly and nods, running a hand down his face. "You should 'cause you're like a second mother to Logan," he says, smiling.

A silence falls over the waiting room and Carlos keeps tapping his foot against the floor, waiting for Logan to come get them. He's about to go talk to one of the nurses and ask if everything's okay when his friend steps into the room, looking tired but happy. Carlos goes over to him and hugs him again, holding him tightly until his mom comes over, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Congratulations, Logan," she murmurs, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. "I love you and Camille so much."

"We love you guys too," Logan answers, smiling sleepily. "You guys can come see them for a few minutes, if you'd like."

The four of them go down the hall and into Camille's room, Carlos' mom carrying a bag of food. She sets it on a chair and goes over to see the baby, cooing softly at him. Carlos watches from the corner and smiles, crossing both arms over his chest as he watches his families merge together and he feels like he could cry. When his mom holds Isaac and talks about him being her first grandchild, Carlos does cry a little and he excuses himself from the room before disappearing down the hall.

Carlos ends up in another waiting room and he sits down, pulling his phone out with one hand while he wipes at his eyes with the other. He goes through his contacts, hits Kendall's name, and brings the phone to his ear, listening to it ring a few times before cutting to voicemail. Kendall's voice startles Carlos and he laughs at himself, listening to the other boy telling him to leave a message at the tone.

When the other line beeps, Carlos says: "Hey. It's, uh, Carlos and I'm just calling... actually, I don't know why I'm calling. This was a dumb idea but I guess I can't exactly stop myself from doing it now, huh? I'm sure Logan told you about the baby and, well, I just wanted to tell you congratulations on being an uncle... and on the album success. Not to mention the tour, which is -" he huffs "- great, Kendall. It's really great; the tour, the album, the fact that our fucking best friends just had a baby.."

After pausing for a moment to collect himself, Carlos mutters, "And I miss you. It's been... forever, almost, and I still fucking miss you. I know that you've moved on and I've tried, believe me, but nothing works. Everyone gets compared to you and I'm hoping that this makes me wake up and see that you don't fucking care anymore. I'm sorry for what happened between us. I still love you..."

He hangs up and stares at his phone for a moment, wishing he hadn't done that. There's a voice in the back of his mind screaming at him and he wants to shut it up, to tell it that he had a valid reason for calling Kendall, but he can't. With a heavy sigh, Carlos runs a hand over his head and scratches the top of his neck before standing up, slipping his phone into his pocket, and moving back down the hallway to reunite with his family.

Camille is half asleep when Carlos comes into the room and he creeps over to where Logan is sitting in the rocking chair. He smiles at his friend and takes his phone out again to snap a few pictures before putting the phone away again. When Logan asks if he wants to hold Isaac one last time before leaving for the night, Carlos accepts and he sways with his godson slowly, kissing his head gently before handing him back to his father, smiling at the two of them.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Carlos whispers, waving at his friend on his way to the door. He looks back one last time, smiles at the sight of Logan holding his son, and then steps out into the hall, rejoining his parents in the waiting room. They all walk outside together and Carlos hugs his parents before getting into his car and going home to do some last-minute things on the baby's room.

**x x**

Two days after Isaac's birth, Camille and Logan bring him home and the house feels complete.

* * *

_[Kendall]_

The holidays pass in a blur of interviews, parties, photo shoots, and fan meet and greets.

In mid January, Jonathan calls a meeting and tells the guys that they're going out on tour in early April. He shows them a list of cities they're playing in and Kendall notices, when they're going over the dates and the cities, that Jonathan booked concerts in each of their hometowns. Not only do he notice that, but he also realizes that they've got a few days between concerts to spend with their family and Kendall is so happy that he could kiss Jonathan - again - but, of course he doesn't.

Kendall and the guys prepare for their tour in the following months. The Minnesota concert is scheduled for June second and Kendall gets front row seats for his friends and family, sending them out shortly after obtaining them.

It's like a dream when their tour _finally_  begins and Kendall's just waiting to wake up.

**x x**

**[April]**

For the first two weeks of their tour, the band sticks to the coast, going up and down it before heading into Nevada. They have a few shows planned there and it still feels surreal to Kendall, even when he's staring out at a sea of hundreds - thousands! - of people who are chanting their names. Some of them are holding signs that say clever things like  _'Kendall is my Knight'_  and others just say _'I love (blank)'_  on it, with a band member's name written in big letters, sometimes hearts. As crazy as it all may seem, it's also amazingly flattering and Kendall can't help but get a bit of an inflated ego from all of the attention.

After the two shows in Nevada, the boys barely have any time to explore Vegas before they're loaded into the tour bus and taken to their next destination. It doesn't take long for them to get to Utah and they play a show the same day they arrive, all four of them exhausted from the trip but the adrenaline from preforming wakes them up and they manage to stay alive during the entire concert. It also helps that the fans scream their names and sing along to the lyrics, which makes Kendall happy.

They wind up in Colorado on the nineteenth.

Before playing the show, Kendall and the boys end up at a local radio station in Denver for a pre-concert interview. The staff and DJ instruct the boys to turn their phones off during the entire interview and they stay off the entire night, even as they're being whisked away to the venue for their sound check and the few meet and greets they have beforehand.

Kendall decides to leave his phone on the bus during the concert and he doesn't think about it while they're playing. After an extended set list and one encore song that almost turns into two, the boys go back to their tour bus and head to a hotel for the night. When they get to the hotel, Kendall turns his phone one and shoves it into his pocket, figuring on checking it later after he's situated himself in his room for the night.

The guys check in, get their room keys, and head up to their suites with Josh and Kyle sharing a room and Dustin and Kendall spending the night in one together. They say goodnight to one another and Kendall unlocks their room before going inside, immediately letting his bag fall to the ground with a heavy thump. He sighs and walks over to the bed, tossing his phone onto the mattress before taking his clothes off, tossing them onto the floor aimlessly.

"I'm so fucking tired," he groans, stretching slightly before sliding underneath the sheets, sighing contentedly.

Dustin chuckles and nods as he strips down to his underwear. "Yeah," he agrees, yawning loudly.

"Should check my messages before I go to sleep. My best friend's due to have her baby soon." Kendall sits up and leans back against the headboard after grabbing his phone, yawning quietly as he unlocks it. His eyes go wide when he sees the numerous missed calls, text messages, and voice messages from his friends and family.

Deciding to check his messages first, Kendall clicks on the icon and brings them up, whistling when he sees that most of them are from Logan. He shakes his head and taps the screen, bringing the list of messages up as he scratches at the top of his head, yawning again. When the messages finally come up, Kendall screams and grips his phone tightly, staring at the screen.

"What the fuck was that for?" Dustin asks, annoyed.

Kendall turns to look at him, grinning stupidly. "Camille had her baby! Dude, she had him and he's  _so fucking_  cute," he answers, laughing as he turns back to his phone, scrolling through the messages. "His name is Isaac Levi and he was born earlier this evening, it looks like."

"Congratulations." The words come out in a muffled yawn but Kendall somehow manages to catch them.

"I'm an  _uncle_! God, I can't wait to see them in June and get to hold this little guy, for real."

Chuckling, Dustin goes to turn the lamp off beside his bed. "I'm going to sleep," he murmurs, and Kendall just waves a hand toward him, before jumping out of bed and heading to the bathroom to check his voice messages. The door shuts behind him and Kendall makes a gleeful noise, scrolling through the couple of pictures Logan sent him, saving every one of them.

After checking his other texts from his mom and a few friends back in Boston, Kendall dials his voicemail. He leans against the sink, listening to the other line ring before asking him for his password, which he punches in quickly, humming when he voice comes back to announce that he has three unread voice messages.

The first one is from his dad and Kendall rolls his eyes when he hears his dad's voice, deleting the message without listening to the whole thing. He chews on his lip and shifts his weight from one foot to the other, waiting to hear the second message, which is from some bullshit scam agency that wants his money and his "cooperation." After deleting the third one, Kendall presses the phone against his ear tightly and pinches the bring of his nose, sighing deeply.

When the message starts playing, Kendall's stops breathing when he hears Carlos' voice on the other line.

 _"Hey. It's, uh, Carlos and I'm just calling... actually, I don't know why I'm calling. This was a dumb idea but I guess I can't exactly stop myself from doing it now, huh? I'm sure Logan told you about the baby and, well, I just wanted to tell you congratulations on being an uncle... and on the album success. Not to mention the tour, which is -"_  Carlos' voice stops for a second and tears rim Kendall's eyes when he listens to him huff before continuing, _"- great, Kendall. It's really great; the tour, the album, the fact that our fucking best friends just had a baby.."_

There's another pause before Carlos continues, muttering quietly, and Kendall's heart fucking shatters as he speaks.

_"And I miss you. It's been... forever, almost, and I still fucking miss you. I know that you've moved on and I've tried, believe me, but nothing works. Everyone gets compared to you and I'm hoping that this makes me wake up and see that you don't fucking care anymore. I'm sorry for what happened between us. I still love you..."_

When Kendall hears those last four words, he makes a choked off sobbing noise and drops onto the bathroom floor with a loud thud, fingers wrapped tightly around his phone as the tears pour down his face. He bends his knees and draws them to his chest, setting the phone on the floor beside his foot, wrapping both arms around his shins as he presses his face in the space between his knees. Tears stain his skin and Kendall sobs, shoulders shaking violently as he lets go, replaying Carlos' words over in his head.

Carlos knows about the tour and the album and he's happy... that's what Kendall doesn't understand about all of this. He knows that Carlos should be mad at him and he was counting on it, wanting Carlos to hate him for everything he did to him, but he doesn't. It doesn't make any sense and Kendall sure as hell doesn't understand why he's happy to know that Carlos still loves him. He's happy that the other boy still loves him and that he misses him because, even after all this time, Kendall still misses him and he definitely still loves Carlos.

An hour passes and Kendall passes out on the floor, curled up in a fetal position with tears drying on his cheeks. He sniffles and sits up, pushing himself to his feet before going to wash his face, sighing when he looks at himself in the mirror. Laughing quietly, Kendall shakes his head and splashes some water on his face before drying it and grabbing his phone, flicking the light off on his way out of the bathroom. Dustin is curled up on the middle of the bed and he's snoring lightly from underneath the blankets, the sound covering up any noise Kendall makes as he walks over to his bed, slipping underneath the sheets.

It doesn't take Kendall long to fall asleep after that and he clutches his phone the entire night, waking up a few times when it buzzes in his hand.

**x x**

They end up in Arkansas two days later.

After their show, Kendall goes to an all-night diner with the boys and the sit toward the back even though the place is almost empty. While they wait on their food, he looks at his phone and smiles at the video playing on the screen: Logan's talking and navigating his phone, capturing video of Camille and Isaac together. When Camille looks up and smiles, Kendall bites his lip and tries to keep the tears at bay, setting his phone down on the seat next to him when their waitress comes back.

"What were you smiling at?" Josh asks before digging into his burger and Kendall blushes slightly, scrunching his nose.

"A video of my best friend and her son," he answers, smiling brightly at his friends. "My nephew, I guess you could call him."

Kyle smiles and nods his head, taking a long sip of his drink. "How old?"

"Isaac? Two days."

"Wow," Josh says in between bites, humming happily as he eats. "He's a newborn."

Laughing, Kendall nods and eats a fry. "Yeah, I just wish I could have been there for his birth," he admits, shrugging a shoulder.

"You'll see him in June, won't you?" Kyle asks, looking up from his plate to arch a brow.

"Yeah, but he'll be bigger then. The whole 'new baby' thing will have worn off."

Dustin snorts and shakes his head. "He won't even be two months old."

"I  _know_ ," Kendall sighs, shaking his head as he picks at his burger. "I just wish I had been there to hold him, you know, after he was born. I'm going to be, like, the hundredth person that holds him and I dunno, that bugs me."

"You'll have plenty of time to hold him and spoil him," Josh mumbles around a bite of food, swallowing before taking a sip of his coffee. "We have four full days in Minnesota, right? One day for the concert, three more for Isaac. There, it's that simple."

Kendall nods slowly and starts eating, listening to the conversation his friends are having. He hums every so often but mostly just thinks about seeing his friends in June, smiling when he thinks about holding Isaac for the first time but the smile fades when the thought of Carlos crosses his mind. Of course he knows that he'll see his ex when he gets home but he doesn't know how he's going to react to that without things being awkward for everyone around them.

An hour and a half later, the four of them pay for their food and leave the diner, heading back to the tour bus. They turn in for the night and the bus starts moving sometime after one in the morning, heading toward Missouri for the next leg of their journey. Kendall doesn't fall asleep until nearly three in the morning and he spends all that time looking at pictures of Isaac on his phone, smiling softly whenever he sees the little boy's face on his screen.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: ummm... awkwardness, people being assholes, happiness, more awkwardness.]

**[June]**

It's just shy of ten o'clock in the morning when they finally get to Minneapolis and Kendall watches familiar buildings pass by the window, bouncing slightly on the couch, smiling brightly. He stretches an arm across the back of the couch and rests his chin on his bicep, pointing out places to Josh, who nods his head and laughs at him, patting him on the shoulder. Humming happily to himself, Kendall continues to stare out the window until they pull into the parking lot of a hotel and the tour bus stops.

"We don't have anything to do before the concert tonight, right?" Kendall turns his head and looks at Josh, biting the full part of his bottom lip. "Minus the sound check at five o'clock, I mean," he adds.

Josh rolls his eyes and chuckles quietly, shaking his head. "Nope, you're free to do whatever you want," he answers as he stands up. "So, are you staying at the hotel with us tonight or are you staying with someone else?"

"Like I'm going to share another room with Dustin and wake up to find half the minibar demolished." Snorting, Kendall stands and stretches slightly, groaning as his joints pop and his muscles pull with the movement. "So I'm going to stay with my mom, that way I'll be closer to Isaac and my friends," he says, grinning as he shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Can I come with you? I'm sick of Kyle's snoring," Josh grumbles, running a hand through his hair.

Shaking his head, Kendall laughs and claps his friend on the shoulder. "Nope. Sorry," he says and winks before moving past Josh to go grab his stuff from his bunk and to let the other guys know that they're at the hotel.

Before Kendall goes to gather his things from his bunk, he steps up onto the side and holds onto Dustin's, moving a hand to slap him on the face until he reaches out to push Kendall back. He laughs and stumbles off the bottom bunk, giving his boyfriend's face another smack before going to wake Kyle up the same way. Once his band mates are up and moving, Kendall grabs his bag from his bed and slings it over his shoulder, pushing his phone into his pocket before moving to the front of the bus.

"So, where are you going?" Dustin asks, rubbing a hand over his cheek where Kendall smacked him.

Kendall grabs his shoes from a compartment next to the couch and looks at Dustin with a grin. "Going to spend a little time with Camille and Isaac before the concert," he says, smiling as he pulls his shoes on and laces them up quickly, leaving them half undone. "Do you wanna come with me?"

There's something in Dustin's expression that tells Kendall that he shouldn't have asked. He swallows thickly, holds up a hand when Dustin opens his mouth to answer, and gives him a soft smile before turning to leave the bus, letting the door slam behind him. Once he's outside, Kendall starts walking toward the hotel and he doesn't look back when he hears someone calling his name, just sets out to go see his best friend and her baby.

"Fuck him," Kendall mumbles as he makes his way to the hotel, stopping when he gets near the door. He throws a glance over his shoulder just in time to watch Dustin disappear into the bus and he sighs heavily, screwing his eyes shut before turning back to the door. Huffing, Kendall opens it and steps inside, moving up to the front desk with a bright smile on his face, folding his arms on the desk when he gets there.

Fifteen minutes later, a taxi comes to pick Kendall up and he slides into the backseat, watching his band mates walk toward the hotel; Josh looks at him with a frown and Kendall just shakes his head, waving slightly before the taxi pulls away. Once his friends are out of sight, Kendall turns back to the driver and gives him Logan's address, settling back against the seat as they drive.

**x x**

When Kendall gets to Logan's house, he pays the cab driver and gets his things out, slinging his bag onto his shoulder before nearly running up to the front porch. He knocks on the door and stuffs his hands into his pockets, chewing nervously on his bottom lip as he waits for Camille to answer, silently praying that Carlos isn't home and that he doesn't open the door instead.

Camille opens the door and smiles brightly at Kendall. "You're finally here!"

"God," he breathes, shaking his head as he looks at Camille, feeling tears rim his eyes. "You look amazing."

"Flattery, isn't that nice." With a soft laugh, Camille comes forward and wraps her arms around Kendall, hugging him tightly. "You look great, honey," she whispers, rubbing her hands up and down his back slowly, smiling wide when she pulls back.

Blushing softly and chewing on his lip some more, Kendall shrugs and chuckles. "Can I come in or do I have to stay out here?"

"Oh," Camille laughs, nodding as she steps back into the house, "come on in."

Stepping into Logan's house is like stepping back in time; nothing's really changed and he looks around slowly, letting Camille take his bag. He follows her into the living room and takes his shoes off, kicking them underneath the coffee table, smiling at all the little baby clothes that are covering the tabletop. It really feels like home and Kendall leans forward to grab a blue knit cap off the table, running his fingers over it slowly before looking over at Camille, who takes a seat beside him.

She smiles at him and leans over to kiss his cheek. "I see you let your hair grow out," she mutters, touching the tail at the back. "It looks nice."

"You're the only one who likes it," he mutters, dropping the hat back onto the table. "Is the little man sleeping?"

"Mm," Camille hums, "but he should be up soon. I put him down about an hour ago."

Kendall smiles and nods, leaning back against the couch, holding a hand out to Camille. "How's motherhood?"

"Fantastic and amazing," she answers, smiling as she lays her hand against Kendall's, slotting their fingers together. "Everyone said that I would have problems because I'm so young and they said that Isaac would cry all the time, but he doesn't. He's a quiet baby and he only cries when he's hungry or there's something really wrong, like he doesn't feel well."

"How about Logan? How's he adjusting to being a daddy?"

Camille laughs and leans her shoulder against Kendall's. "He's so in love with Isaac that it's not even funny," she murmurs, playing with Kendall's fingers quietly for a moment, sighing contentedly. "How has the tour been going?"

"It's been going great, minus the crazed fans that would do literally anything to meet us," he mutters, chuckling quietly. "Other than that, though, everything is good and I'm just happy to be home for a while so I can see you guys and take a few days to remember where the fuck I came from and so I can calm down. Sometimes, you know, I wanna strangle Dustin or Josh or Kyle and it gets hard being around them all day, every day."

"What are you going to do after the tour?" Camille asks, yawning quietly as she squeezes Kendall's hand.

Shrugging a shoulder, Kendall lays his head against Camille's. "Part of me wants to take some time off and just go somewhere, you know? Like, either come back home or just go to Hawaii or something, take time for myself."

"You can always come back home for a while and spend time with us," she suggests, moving their hands from side to side.

"That sounds great," Kendall sighs, moving a hand to rub his cheek, scraping his nails against his skin. "How's, um, Carlos?"

Silence falls between them for a moment and Camille just sighs. "Carlos is doing good, I think. He broke up with his boyfriend a few months ago and that's still messing with him, but he distracts himself with work and Isaac," she whispers, pressing herself against Kendall's side. "He'll babysit him when he thinks that Logan and I need a night to ourselves, which is sweet as hell."

"Sounds like something Carlos would do."

They fall silent again and Kendall enjoys just sitting with Camille in the comfortable silence, brushing his thumb along hers. The silence is broken when a soft cry comes from the baby monitor sitting on the end table beside Kendall and he turns to look at it, watching the red light flash when the cries come again. Camille chuckles and pulls away from Kendall before standing, excusing herself as she walks to the staircase and he watches her disappear up them, sighing as he turns back to look around the room.

Camille comes back a few minutes later with Isaac cradled in her arms and a blue blanket tossed over her shoulder. She's cooing softly to the baby as she walks around to the couch before sitting down, looking up at Kendall with a smile. He returns it and watches her quietly, chewing on his bottom lip, thinking about how things happened so quickly and his mind eventually wanders to Carlos.

"Do you want to hold him now?" Camille asks, bouncing Isaac in her arms a little.

Kendall smiles and nods, holding his arms out, swallowing hard when Camille slides the baby into them. "He's heavy," he points out, laughing quietly as he settles back in the corner of the couch with Isaac in his arms, running a finger over his cheek. "What's up, little man? I'm Kendall, your uncle, and I know that I look different than mommy and Logan and uncle Carlos, but I love you as much as all of them."

"It must be easier for you to talk about Carlos now..."

"Why do you say that?" Kendall asks, not looking up from Isaac.

"Because you keep dropping his name like it's nothing," Camille answers as she pulls her legs up onto the couch, tucking them underneath her.

Frowning, Kendall looks up and shrugs a shoulder, pulling his mouth to the left. "I don't know, I guess I have to talk about him because I'm going to see him on this trip, you know? I know I can't avoid it and I don't want to, not really," he mumbles, turning back to look down at Isaac, who's staring up at Kendall with big, brown eyes. "Do you know if he's coming to the concert tonight?"

"He's coming," she answers, nodding slowly. "We're dropping Isaac off with Sylvia so we can come, too."

"I need to see them while I'm here." Smiling softly, Kendall leans down to kiss the top of Isaac's head before pulling away. "He's beautiful, Camille," he mutters, turning to look at his friend with a bigger smile. "Looks like Logan, though."

Camille laughs and covers her mouth with both hands. "Everyone says that! It's _exactly_  what Carlos said after he was born," she says, giggling softly.

"That's not a bad thing, looking like Logan! You're both attractive people and you made a beautiful baby, who is going to be a total heart breaker when he turns sixteen," Kendall comments and turns back to Isaac before talking to him in the 'baby voice.' "Isn't that right, Isaac, huh? You going to break all the hearts when you get older? Gonna drop girls - or boys; it's okay to like both - after a few weeks because you're just not feeling it?" When Isaac makes a gurgling noise and wiggles a little in Kendall's hold, he laughs. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Don't talk my son into breaking hearts," Camille chides, playfully slapping Kendall's shoulder. "He's going to be a gentleman."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall shakes his head and runs his fingers over Isaac's hair. "Gentleman get their hearts broken all the time; I should know," he mutters, sighing as he runs his fingertips down the side of the baby's face, marveling at how tiny and perfect he is.

"So, you're staying with your mom?"

"Yeah, figured that would be the best place, seeing as you guys have Carlos here and I don't want to put you out," he answers, letting Isaac's fingers wrap around his pointer finger, chuckling quietly as he jostles the baby's hand slightly. "Besides, my mom doesn't live very far away so I can come over whenever you guys want me to and I'll be able to spend some time with her."

Humming quietly, Camille nods and smiles. "We'll want you over here all the time."

"I'd stay, but..." Kendall trails off and Camille finishes for him.

"But Carlos, I know." She smiles and wraps a curl around her finger, watching Kendall. "So, do I get to meet Dustin?"

Kendall scoffs and shakes his head. "I don't think he wants to meet anyone here," he mutters, running his fingertip over Isaac's fist.

"Why not? Doesn't he want to meet your family and friends, like a  _normal_  boyfriend?"

"He's not exactly a 'normal' boyfriend, Camille. Whenever I talk about home, he gets... weird and changes the subject, usually, and if he doesn't do that then he tries to talk as little as possible. When I asked if he wanted to come with me, he gave me this look that answered the question for me."

Camille bites the edge of her lip and rests her arm on the couch, leaning her head against her hand. "I'm sorry, honey. Maybe he just feels weird because of Carlos and everything that's happened here?"

"Maybe." Kendall shrugs and shifts Isaac in his arms. "I just think he's not as serious about this as I am. I feel like it's all about sex and there's, like, zero romance between us which... is fine, I guess, because it's hard to do that on the road anyway but," he stops, shrugging again as he looks down, pressing his finger against Isaac's foot.

"So, are you going to end it, then?"

Sighing, Kendall shrugs again and looks up at Camille with a sad smile. "I think so," he sighs again and continues, "I mean - I want to be with him, don't get me wrong, but everything is so confusing now. With what happened back in April and being home, where Carlos is, and... I just think we'd be better as friends and band mates."

"Wait," Camille says, her forehead furrowing, "what happened in April? You mean Isaac?"

Kendall looks down at the baby in his arms and shakes his head slowly, patting him on the bottom before turning back to Camille. She looks anxious, with her eyebrows drawn together and her mouth open slightly, the hand on her lap tapping against her thigh. For a moment, Kendall contemplates not telling her the truth but then he remembers everything he told her back when they first met; he remembers the reason why they're best friends and that's because he can tell her anything... and everything.

"Carlos called me the night Isaac was born and left a message," he explains, his attention drawn back to Isaac, who's staring up at him contentedly, eyes big and curious, "and he congratulated me on the album and tour success, then on being an uncle; he said it was great, you know, that I had a CD and that I was going on tour. Then he got quiet and said that he missed me and that he still loved me, which is what makes everything confusing between me and Dustin."

When he looks over at Camille, she's got a hand over her mouth and he can tell she's smiling.

"What?"

Camille shakes her head and drops her hand back onto her lap. "It just sounds like you two might get back together," she says, simply.

"That's fucking ridiculous," Kendall mutters, looking back down at Isaac.

"If you would just think about it," Camille starts, shifting so she's sitting against the arm of the couch. "Carlos breaks up with his boyfriend - who was just shy of being perfect for him - and then he calls you to say that he still loves you and that he misses you. Then you cut to your relationship with Dustin and - from what you've told me and Logan - it sounds like you're  _drowning_  in a loveless relationship. So, when you get the message from Carlos, it stirs up some old feelings - "

"It did not," he interrupts; Camille ignores him.

" - and you start to think about ending whatever it is you have with Dustin. Tell me that doesn't sound like what's going on here?"

Kendall chews on his lip and shakes his head, sighing softly. "Okay, _maybe_  I would be breaking up with Dustin because of Carlos but you know that it won't work if we get back together. We'll break up and things will go back to the way they were before, with us avoiding one another for the rest of our lives and we can't do that, especially since you and Logan have Isaac."

"I don't think it will end like that, especially since you and Carlos clearly still love each other. I mean, you wrote songs about it, honey; doesn't that mean that you still have feelings for him?"

"It could mean that I just wanted to make a lot of money," Kendall mumbles and Camille taps him on the back of the head. "Ow! Okay,  _yes_ , it means that I still have feelings for Carlos, okay? I'm not even in love with Dustin but I feel... something with him, you know? Definitely not the something I felt when I was with Carlos, but I could love Dustin if I tried real hard."

Camille laughs and shakes her head slowly. "Your heart belongs to Carlos," she mutters, holding her arms out. "You're hogging my baby."

"You've had him for two months! I've only just gotten to hold him for this little bit of time." Pouting, Kendall kisses Isaac's head again and hands him back to his mom, smiling when she cradles him close and starts humming. "Can I take a nap here for a while? I don't have to be at the venue until five for the sound check and my excitement kept me up most of the night."

"Sure, you can sleep in our room," Camille says, pointing to the stairs. "You know where it's at?"

Smirking, Kendall nods and leans over to kiss her cheek before pecking Isaac's head. "Could you wake me up after a while? So I can spend some more time with the baby and then take a shower before I have to leave?"

"Sure thing."

"You are the best," Kendall says, smiling at Camille as he pushes himself to his feet, groaning as he stretches. He grabs his bag and goes up the stairs, taking them two at a time until he gets to the top. When he gets there, Kendall sees that one of the bedroom doors is open and he heads down the hall, pushing the door open with his foot. He steps inside and looks around for a moment, his stomach dropping when he realizes that he's in Carlos' room.

After a moment, Kendall backpedals and goes into the hall, shutting the door until it's opened just like it was before he went around snooping. With a heavy sigh and a yawn, he moves down the hall to Logan's room and goes inside, shutting the door behind him. Once he's inside, Kendall goes over to the bed and lays his bag on it before stripping down to his boxers, pulling on a pair of gym shorts and a tank top when he's done. He tosses his stuff onto the floor and slides underneath the blankets, nuzzling his face against the pillow as he yawns loudly and closes his eyes, falling asleep quickly.

**x x**

Camille wakes Kendall up at three in the afternoon and they hang around for a bit, playing with Isaac and talking until he has to take a shower and leave. When he's done with his shower and dressed, Kendall goes downstairs to call another cab but Camille just takes the phone away from him and shoves her car keys against his chest. This leads to him protesting but she gives him a stern look until he cracks and finally agrees to take the car, smiling as he kisses her cheek and then Isaac's forehead. He leaves and hops into the car before driving to the venue, lightly drumming his fingers against the steering wheel the entire way.

Everyone's waiting for him when he gets there and he mutters an apology before taking his place on the stage, taking a microphone when they're being handed out. He puts his feet on the rungs of the stool he's sitting on and listens to Kyle talk into the mic, all of them wincing at the high pitched feedback that follows his voice. After a moment, they're giving the okay to try again and Dustin says something into his mic, the words lost to Kendall as he looks out across the seats, imagining a screaming crowd.

After everything is checked and tweaked, the boys go backstage to get ready for the concert. Dustin pulls Kendall off to the side and he huffs, wrenching his arm away from the other man's grip, rubbing at his bicep with a slight pout. He swallows hard and clenches his jaw, looking at Dustin expectantly, fingers still rubbing against the muscle of his arm.

"What the fuck do you want?" Kendall hisses.

Dustin raises his eyebrows and sets his jaw. "I'm sorry about earlier," he starts, his expression softening. "I'm just not used to this, okay? I mean, you have a history with these people and I don't want them to think I'm some kind of asshole or something."

"Well, you  _are_  an asshole."

"Yeah, but _they_  don't need to know that," Dustin mutters, running a hand through his hair. "I don't want to be an asshole, believe me."

Sighing, Kendall shakes his head and shuts his eyes, grabbing his bicep. "I do believe you, okay? But I don't know if we can do this much longer if you continue to be an asshole that _refuses_  to meet my family  _or_  my friends," he says, opening his eyes to stare at Dustin.

Dustin blinks and his eyebrows knit together. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Kendall sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "that I don't know if this will work, us being together. I mean, I want to be with you but I can't do it if you don't want to be around my family or friends because they're everything to me."

"Alright." Dustin gives a smile and it doesn't settle well with Kendall, but he accepts the kiss his boyfriend gives him before watching him walk away.

Kendall sighs and turns on his heel, walking toward his row of clothing to pick something out for the show, scrubbing a hand over his face before grabbing a lilac and black plaid button-up. He grabs a tank top, a pair of jeans, and his Doc Martens before going to the changing area, tossing his clothes onto a small table behind the curtain.

After changing, Kendall wanders around for a while before heading to the food table, grabbing something that will settle his stomach. He grabs a muffin and a bottle of water, picking at the top of the muffin as he sips his water, watching people walk around, some of them giving him a smile as they pass by. Kendall returns the smile but not until they're gone, swallowing a piece of his muffin before taking a long sip of his water, setting both of them on the table before heading toward the stage to watch the techs set everything up.

Half an hour later, Kendall watches people flood in and take their seats, the venue filling up quickly. He watches them from backstage, hands shoved deep in his pockets, eyes scanning the crowd for his friends and family but he spots a few familiar faces as well. When he sees Mercedes sitting in the front with Jett, Jennifer, and Jo sitting beside her, Kendall's stomach drops and then he laughs, shaking his head before turning away to talk to the band and do their pre-concert ritual.

Finally, they take the stage and Kendall bounds over to the mic, taking it happily. "What's up, Minneapolis!" The crowd cheers and he laughs, going to grab his guitar from the stand before coming back, wrapping both hands around the mic. "It's good to be in my hometown and I see a lot of familiar faces out there," he says, sweeping a hand toward the front rows where everyone he knows is sitting. "Hope you guys enjoy the show."

Immediately after Kendall's speech, they start playing and the crowd seems to cheer louder than any other city did. That makes Kendall proud and he plays his heart out as sweat pours down the back of his neck and onto his hair, soaking it. After they play a couple of their own songs, they play a few covers and then go back to their own music, finishing the set with the acoustic version of  _Diamond_. When Kendall finishes playing, he's not ashamed - or surprised - to feel tears on his cheeks and he stands up after he's done, bowing in front of the crowd, who cheers louder.

The band disappears off stage after yelling a few "we love you guys" and "you guys are great" to the crowd. When they get backstage, Kendall is bouncing with excitement and he wrings his hands, watching out for his friends and his mom. He laughs when Josh tells him to calm down and just keeps bouncing slightly, running both hands through his sweaty hair.

Logan is the first person Kendall sees and he's moving the second he appears, throwing both arms around him. "I missed you so fucking much," he says, muttering the words and laughing when Logan hugs him back, squeezing him tightly before letting go. "Where's everyone else?"

"Still fighting their way through the crowd, I'm afraid." Logan smiles and Kendall takes a moment to look at him, noticing the dusting of stubble covering his jaw and chin, making him grin wider. "You look fantastic, dude! It's great to have you at home for a while," he says, laughing as he claps his hands on Kendall's biceps.

"Thanks." Laughing, Kendall puts his hand on Logan's cheek and pats it lightly. "You're looking good, yourself. Fatherhood looks good on you."

A loud laugh leaves Logan's mouth and he rolls his eyes. "Thanks," he mutters, punching Kendall's shoulder lightly. "Carlos is coming back here, I hope you don't mind? He didn't know whether or not you would want him to but Camille and I kind of forced him."

"I don't mind at all," Kendall murmurs, smiling as he pats Logan's cheek one more time before dropping his hand. He's about to open his mouth and say something else when the rest of his family comes back, Carlos leading them all. It takes Kendall a moment to realize that the guy standing there is actually Carlos and he blinks rapidly, lips curving into a small smile.

Carlos returns the smile and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Hey," he offers and Kendall lets out a nervous laugh. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," he mutters, quickly, and shakes his head before looking Carlos up and down. "You look good."

"Thanks," Carlos laughs, nodding his head toward Kendall, "so do you."

Blushing, Kendall bites his lip and walks around Logan, coming forward to hold his hand out. "I'm glad you came."

For a moment, none of them move and Carlos just looks down at Kendall's hand, unsure on whether or not he should take it. Shaking his head, he takes his hands out of his pocket and steps forward, wrapping both of his arms around Kendall's middle, hugging him tightly. He nearly cries when he feels two arms wrap around his shoulders and he leans into the other man, closing his eyes tightly. Kendall smells like sweat, cologne, and Carlos' body wash which causes a few tears to slip out before he pulls away, laughing.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," he mumbles, putting his hands on Kendall's biceps. "We should, um, catch up. Later."

Kendall nods his head and smiles. "We should," he agrees, frowning a little when Carlos drops his hands and steps away. He's about to open his mouth and protest when his mom comes forward, arms outstretched and a smile on her face.

"It's so good to see you, sweetheart." Jennifer wraps her arms around Kendall and pulls him in close, hugging him tightly. He wraps his arms around her and holds on for dear life, burying his face against her shoulder before letting himself cry. A hand goes to the back of his head and his mom's fingers run through his hair slowly and lovingly, calming Kendall down instantly. "You were fantastic," she whispers.

"You think so?" Sniffling, Kendall eases away from his mom and wipes his face with one hand, drying it against his jeans.

Jennifer smiles proudly and nods. "I know so."

When his mom lets go of him, Kendall turns to look at Alex, who is standing beside Carlos with a huge grin on her face. He chuckles and opens up his arms in invitation, making a soft 'oof' noise when she runs into his arms, wrapping hers around his waist. Chuckling quietly, Kendall squeezes her and holds onto her for a moment before letting her pull away, shaking his head slowly.

"You're almost a grown up," he points out, smiling when she blushes.

"Don't tell my mom that," Carlos grumbles, playfully, giving Kendall a grin.

Glancing over at Carlos, Kendall rolls his eyes and then looks back at Alex. "It's true! You weren't this tall last time I saw you."

"I've grown a few inches," Alex says, beaming as she holds her wrist out, showing Kendall a handmade bracelet with his band's name on it. "I made this, do you like it?"

"I love it," he answers, smiling as he hugs her again. "Can I buy one off of you before I leave?"

Alex blushes again and nods her head. "I'll give you one," she says, wringing her hands together when they ease apart.

"Nonsense! I pay for my merchandise." Kendall laughs again and ruffles her hair a bit, looking up at where Camille is standing, smiling at the two of them. Every time he sees her, he feels this pang in his chest and he swallows hard, feeling guilty for leaving and not coming back until they went on tour. "Sylvia's got Isaac, huh?"

Camille nods and smiles, coming forward. "She volunteered to keep him over night but I'm kind of tired," she mumbles, biting her lip.

"Aw," Kendall pouts, lifting a hand to scratch the tattoo behind his ear. "I was hoping we could all go out and celebrate, maybe get something to eat because I'm starving."

"What about your friends?" Carlos asks, nodding pointedly to the group of people behind Kendall. "Don't you want to go out with them?"

Snorting, Kendall waves a hand and shakes his head. "I see them every day and this is the first time I've seen all of you, so who wants to go out tonight?"

"I'm down." Logan smiles and looks at Carlos, raising a brow.

"I guess I am too, but who's going to take Camille and Alex home?"

Logan gives a one-shoulder shrug and then looks at Kendall. "Guess I'll take them home and meet you somewhere?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers, nodding his head slowly, "that sounds good. Meet us at the diner on Longview?"

"Will do." Clapping his hand against Kendall's shoulder, Logan smiles and then ushers Camille and Alex toward the door.

Jennifer watches them go and goes to hug Kendall again. "There's a key hidden in the third frog on my porch," she says when they pull back, putting her hands on either side of Kendall's face, smiling softly. "Try not to stay out too late, okay? I've actually got stuff planned for tomorrow and I will be angry if you decide to sleep the entire day away."

"I'll make sure he's home at a decent hour," Carlos promises, giving Kendall a smug smile.

Laughing, Kendall rolls his eyes and looks at his mom. "I won't stay out late, I promise."

"Good," his mom says, smiling again as she drops her hands away from his face. "See you in the morning."

"Night, Jennifer." When Jennifer gets close, Carlos hugs her and waves goodbye, watching her leave before turning back to Kendall. "So," he says.

Kendall nods and swallows thickly, scratching his tattoo again. "So," he parrots.

"We rode here with Camille and Logan."

"Oh," Kendall says, eyebrows drawn up slightly. "I've got Camille's car, so I guess we'll take it and I'll drive?"

Carlos laughs and motions toward the door. "After you, Knight."

The way Carlos says his last name makes Kendall shiver and he excuses himself for a moment to go talk to the band and let them know what's going on, in case Kyle and Dustin didn't know where he was going to stay. After promising to text his friends later (and if there's a party going on), Kendall goes back to Carlos and claps a hand on his shoulder before heading to the door, trying to ignore the way his heart is beating rapidly in his chest.

When they get outside, Kendall has to fight the urge to open Carlos' door for him and it feels weird to just slide into the driver's seat without doing that one act of generosity for Carlos. He turns the engine on and waits for the passenger door to be shut before putting the car in drive and pulling out of the parking space, heading through the lot until he gets to the road. After looking up and down the street, Kendall pulls out and starts heading toward the diner, stealing a glance at Carlos whenever he can.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: reminiscing, feels, smoking, drinking, shenanigans.]

As Kendall drives them to the diner, Carlos stares out the window and chews on his tongue ring, listening to it clink against his teeth. He puts the top of the bar between his teeth and pulls it through the hole before releasing it slowly, pressing the ball against the roof of his mouth. Cars pass by them and headlights shine through the windows, illuminating the inside of the car, and Carlos looks at Kendall every few minutes, feeling his heart speed up when he realizes that this is the first time they've been alone together since he left for Boston nearly two years ago.

When his heart starts racing and his palms grow sweaty, Carlos turns back to the window and leans his head against it, thankful for the distraction the cool glass gives him. He shuts his eyes and breathes slowly through his nose, listening to the purr of the engine and the sounds around them, trying his hardest not to think about all the things he wants to say to Kendall. Part of him knows that he should say what he's thinking and how he's feeling but Carlos isn't sure if he should do that, especially when they seem to be, for the most part, okay.

"So, did you really enjoy the show or are you just saying that cause you got free tickets?" Kendall asks and chuckles quietly, breaking the silence.

The question pulls Carlos out of his thoughts and he blinks as he turns to look at Kendall. "I really liked it," he answers, honestly, "and I think that you guys are amazing but you?  _You_ stole the whole fucking show with your voice and those songs of yours... especially Diamond."

Kendall blushes and chews on his lip, lifting a hand away from the wheel to rub the tattoo behind his ear, smiling stupidly. He hums and nods his head, wrapping his fingers around the steering wheel again before flicking the turn signal on and merging into the turning lane. Once they're in the other lane, Kendall slows the car down and pulls into the diner parking lot, swinging into the first open space he sees before turning the engine off.

"You really mean that?"

"Dude," Carlos starts, laughing quietly as he takes his seat belt off, "I fucking mean it, okay? You kick ass at playing the guitar and singing and those songs you wrote are amazing, believe me. When I first got the CD, I couldn't stop listening to it and I couldn't believe that  _you_  wrote it all."

"Wait - you bought my CD?"

Shrugging, Carlos turns and leans back against the car door so he can look at Kendall better. "I bought Alex a copy for Christmas and figured I'd get my own, that way I wouldn't have to share it with her and I could listen to it whenever I want," he answers, lips curving into a soft smile.

That shouldn't make Kendall as happy as it does but he can't help it; he smiles like an idiot and runs a hand through his hair, messing it up more as he stares at Carlos. An urge to lean forward and grab the back of his neck, pull Carlos forward and kiss him, bubbles to the surface and Kendall grips his hair tightly, sliding his eyes shut as he breathes deeply. When he opens them again, he gives Carlos a smile and then slides out of the car, walking around to the front, watching as the other man gets out.

" _I'm glad you're home_ " is what slips out of Carlos' mouth when he gets out of the car and he bites his lower lip, working his tongue around in his mouth, the ring clinking against his teeth again. "And I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you." Kendall smiles and scratches the back of his neck before motioning toward the door. "Wanna go in and wait for Logan? I'm starving and if I have to stand out here and smell fries, I may eat my own arm," he mumbles, grinning and blushing slightly when Carlos laughs. And it's a real laugh; one of those full bodied ones that makes him double over just enough and put both hands on his knees. Kendall missed that and he's missed Carlos even more.

When he stops laughing, Carlos straightens up and nods slowly, letting a few last chuckles escape. "No need to eat your own arm, you cannibal. We can go ahead and wait for him, I'm sure he won't mind," he answers, giving Kendall a smile as he walks past him and to the door, opening it for the two of them.

Carlos waits until Kendall is inside before following, letting the door shut behind them. He looks around the diner with a fond smile, remembering all of the times they sat in the corner booth, talking about nothing and just hanging out. Swallowing hard, Carlos rubs a hand over his head and lets his blunt nails scrap along his scalp as he follows Kendall over to their regular booth and it feels like the old days. He can remember every single time they came here, how Kendall would always be laid back and carefree, always laughing and smiling about something. The memory makes Carlos smile and it's bittersweet.

"So," Kendall says, as he slides into one side of the booth, "how have things been for you?"

"Things have been okay, I guess. I got a few piercings," he answers, motioning to his ears before catching the ball of his tongue ring between his teeth, grinning as he continues, "and I got a tattoo. I'm sure you know that I moved in with Logan and I've been there for about a year now, helping with bills and - more recently - with Isaac. There have been a few problems in the past year or so but, for the most part, everything's been good."

Kendall nods and smiles, trying not to think about Carlos' tongue ring. "That's good," he murmurs, folding his hands on the table. "Dating anyone?"

"Yeah right." Snorting, Carlos grabs two menus from their holder and tosses one at Kendall. "How about you?"

"I've been with Dustin for a long time," Kendall replies, shrugging as he grabs the menu before flipping it open. "Not sure how much longer that's going to work out, though."

Arching a brow, Carlos looks over top of the menu and stares at Kendall. "Why's that?"

Part of Kendall wants to say ' _Because he's an asshole and I want to be with you_ ,' but he doesn't. Instead, he answers with: "Because we're just drifting apart, you know? I want something a little more romantic and long-lasting, while he just wants something that's all about sex."

"Won't that cause a rift in the band?"

Kendall shakes his head and reads over the menu. "It shouldn't. We were friends before and we can be friends again, right? "

"Yeah, probably." Carlos licks his lips slowly, letting his eyes rove over Kendall for a second before dropping his gaze. "How have things been for you?"

"Things have been great with the tour and the album," he answers, looking through the menu one last time before shutting it. "And things have been alright in California but sometimes I wish I were home instead because it's too warm there; I miss Minnesota winters."

Carlos laughs and nods understandingly. "When does the tour end?"

"Beginning of August and then we'll be back in California, doing God knows what."

"You don't sound very happy with that," Carlos murmurs, looking up from his menu as he shuts it. "What's up?"

Sighing, Kendall shakes his head and taps his fingers against the table. "I dunno," he admits, shrugging a shoulder. "I think I might come home for a while, give myself a break from the band and let them figure shit out without me. I wanna spend time with everyone and get to see Isaac whenever I want."

"We'd like that." Smiling, Carlos leans back and puts his hands on the edge of the table. "So, you gonna buy a house? Stay with your mom?"

"I'd probably have to stay with her for a while but not very long," Kendall says, smiling when he looks at Carlos. "You'd all like me being home, huh?"

A nervous laugh escapes Carlos' throat and he taps his fingertips against the tabletop. "Yeah, we all would."

"That's good." Humming quietly, Kendall looks around and smiles at their waitress when she comes over. She greets them and asks if they're ready to order and Kendall nods slowly, smiling wider. "I'll take a cheeseburger with everything, a side of onion rings, a milkshake, and a piece of apple pie."

Carlos stares at Kendall while he orders and shakes his head, laughing quietly. "I need two orders," he starts, folding his hands on the table. "One order of scrambled eggs with cheese, double sausage, bacon, and toast. Then I'm going to need another cheeseburger with bacon, pickles, tomato, lettuce, with a side of curly fries, and a cup of coffee and a Sprite, please."

The waitress writes everything down and walks away with a smile, leaving Kendall and Carlos alone.

"Did you order for Logan?"

"Of course," Carlos answers, grinning proudly. "And speak of the devil."

Kendall looks toward the door and smiles when Logan walks in, waving him over to the table. "We ordered for you," he says, smirking.

"Burger?" Logan asks, looking between Carlos and Kendall, grinning when they nod. "Awesome," he sing-songs as he slides in beside Carlos.

"How's my little man?" Kendall smiles when the words leave his lips and he drums his hands against the table.

A grin spreads across Logan's face and he runs both hands through his hair, resting them on the back of his head. "Amazing, as usual, but he was sleeping when we picked him up from his grandma Sylvia's house," he answers, scrunching his nose as he laughs.

"She loves him so much," Carlos adds, shaking his head with a smile. "She keeps asking when I'm going to settle down with a nice boy and have a couple of kids and I don't see why Isaac isn't enough. Besides, Logan's going to have another kid before I do."

"Not according to Camille," he murmurs, dropping his hands onto the table. "And you can't blame your mom, Litos; she just wants her own grandchild."

Carlos sighs and rolls his eyes Kendall's way, which makes him laugh. "I know, but she's going to have to wait," he replies.

"My mom's probably going to ask me when I'm going to have kids," Kendall mutters, running his fingers over the checkerboard pattern of the table, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. "She loves Isaac too, doesn't she?"

"Dude," Logan says, laughing as he leans onto the table, "your mom and Carlos' mom  _spoil_  him. I mean, it's like he's got four grandmothers and they all love him to death. We take Isaac to see your mom on her days off - when we can - and sometimes she's over at Sylvia's when we get there, so they hang out with him for a while and Camille and I get to watch them interact with him. It's pretty fucking great."

To hear that his mom is a part of Isaac's life... that makes Kendall stupidly happy and he smiles wide, nodding. "I'm glad she's apart of your lives and I'm  _beyond_  happy she's getting to know Isaac," he says, head bobbing slowly as he talks.

Their waitress comes back and sets their drinks down, smiling at them. "Your food will be out in a few minutes," she informs them before turning on her heel to go back to the counter and she looks back at them long enough to wink at Kendall. That makes him flush and he lifts a hand, scrubbing it over his face before dropping his gaze to the table, tapping the fingers of his other hand against it.

A few minutes of silence pass before Logan breaks it, talking about Isaac and how cute he is. Kendall smiles proudly as he listens to his friend and he looks over at Carlos every now and again, his smile faltering a little before widening when he sees just how happy Carlos is. He swallows thickly and flicks his gaze back to Logan, smiling and laughing as he tells a story about how Isaac peed on him one time when he was changing his diaper.

Halfway into another story about the baby, their food arrives and the waitress sets a plate down in front of each of them, smiling brightly when she asks if they need anything else. After looking at their food and one another, all three of them shake their heads and say 'no thank you' in unison, which makes all of them laugh. They start eating when the waitress leaves and Logan keeps telling his stories with his mouth half full of curly fries but Kendall and Carlos don't mind because they're happy to listen to any and all stories their friend shares with them.

**x x**

Kendall pays for their dinner and the three of them head outside. With a sigh, Kendall goes to grab his cigarettes from his bag on the backseat and pulls one out, putting it between his lips as he slips the pack in his back pocket before rummaging around in the bag for his lighter. He makes a triumphant noise when he finds it and shuts the door, lighting the end of his cigarette as he leans against the passenger side door, curling the lighter against his palm.

"So, what do we do now?" Logan kicks at the ground and comes forward, eyes locked on the orange glow of Kendall's cigarette. "Can I bum one?"

Smirking, Kendall pulls the cigarette away from his lips and blows smoke toward the sky. "Shouldn't you quit?"

" _I'm a social smoker_ " is the answer Logan gives him and he holds his hand out, wiggling his fingers impatiently.

"Alright, alright." Kendall sighs dramatically and hands the lighter over before pulling the pack out of his pocket, laying it in Logan's hand, too. "I would suggest that we go out and drink but Logan's a father now and I don't want to send him home smashed," he mutters, crossing an arm across his ribs.

Carlos snorts and comes over, taking the pack from Logan when he takes a cigarette out. "I'll go drinking with you," he mumbles, taking one out for himself, before handing the pack to Kendall with a grin on his face. "I don't have shit to do tomorrow and it's alright if I come home drunk."

"No it is not," Logan grumbles around the filter of his cigarette, lighting the end and taking a long drag once it's ignited. He hands the lighter to Carlos and wraps his fingers around the butt, cheeks hollowing out before he pulls the cigarette away, blowing smoke rings. "I don't want you stumbling into my house at three in the morning, drunk off your ass and smelling like booze. You'll wake Isaac up and he'll cry, which will piss Camille off."

"Then I'll crash at Jennifer's." Shrugging, Carlos takes the lighter, lights the end of his cigarette, and flicks the top of the zippo open, taking a long drag as he listens to the metallic clink. He pulls the cigarette away and tips his head back, watching as gray wisps of smoke float toward the starless sky, a small grin on his face when he drops his chin toward his chest to look at Kendall. "Is that alright?"

Kendall swallows hard and nods, flicking the butt of his cigarette with his thumbnail. "Sure, I guess my mom won't mind," he answers, lifting the cigarette to his mouth again before sucking on the end, cheeks hollowing out. When his lungs are full of smoke, Kendall pulls it away and lets his head fall back, slumping against the side of the car as he parts his lips, letting the smoke escape slowly.

No one says anything after that and Kendall smokes his cigarette slowly, quietly. He watches the smoke billow toward the sky, flicks his ashes onto the pavement, and drops his chin to his chest when he's done, letting the filter fall from between his fingers. Once it's on the ground, Kendall grinds it out with the heel of his boot and runs a hand through his hair, looking at his friends with a small smile.

"Ready to get out of here, then?"

Bobbing his head side to side, Carlos drops his own cigarette and stomps it out. "Sure am," he says, grinning wide as he turns to Logan. "I'll see you guys tomorrow, then? Don't wait up for me unless I text you and say I'm going to come home."

"And if you do come home without texting, don't make a ton of noise." Logan laughs and finally drops his own filter, crushing it against the pavement with the toe of his shoe, sighing as he shoves his hands into his pockets. "I'll see you guys later," he says, smiling at his friends before turning to get into his car. They watch as he slides in and backs out of the spot, waving just before he leaves the parking lot.

Once Logan is gone, Kendall pushes off the car and motions to it. "Shall we go see if the liquor stores are still open?"

"Are you even old enough to drink yet?" Carlos asks, raising an eyebrow as he goes to open the passenger side door.

"I've got a couple of months," Kendall replies, shrugging as he goes around to the driver's side. He slips in behind the wheel and starts the engine, pulling out of the parking space when Carlos is inside. "I figured I would give you money and you'd go in and buy us some alcohol."

Carlos snorts and shakes his head, laughing a little harder than he should. "You want me to give alcohol to a minor?"

"You have before!"

"That was back when I was a minor myself," Carlos grumbles, folding his hands on his lap as he leans back against his seat.

Pouting, Kendall pulls onto the road and guns it, driving toward the closest liquor store. "Please, Litos," he pleads, whimpering for added effect.

"Oh, don't you dare pull that shit with me." Turning his head, Carlos glares at Kendall and then sighs when he pleads again. "Fine," he grumbles, turning to look at the ceiling again, shaking his head slowly.

"You're the best, Carlos!"

**x x**

After they stop for booze, Kendall drives to his mom's house and they scramble out of the car when they get there, making their way to the porch, the bottles in the bag clinking together as they walk. Kendall shushes them and reaches down to grab the frog statue on the porch, prying off the false bottom to get to the key hidden inside. He sets the statute back down and unlocks the door, opening it slowly before stepping inside, keeping the door open for Carlos to keep it from creaking.

When they're both in the house, Kendall shuts the door and takes his boots off, kicking them underneath the small table near the door before motioning toward the kitchen. He doesn't know his mom's new house very well but she did give him a basic rundown where everything was and he knows that the door to the basement - which was made into a guest bedroom - is in the kitchen. They walk quietly and Carlos hugs the bottles of alcohol to his chest until they disappear through the basement door.

Carlos goes down the steps and nearly trips over the last one but catches himself before he stumbles. He laughs it off and looks around, frowning until he sees a light come from Kendall's phone and he smiles, waiting for him to find the light switch and laughing when he curses. It takes him a few minutes but Kendall eventually finds the switch and turns the lights on, whistling when he looks around the room, grinning when he sees his old bed set up in the corner.

"That was nice of her," he mutters as he makes his way to the bed, sitting down on the edge. He looks around the room, seeing all of his old things in there, smiling at the nostalgia that hits him and then frowning when he remembers the last time he slept in his own bed. When he remembers that, Kendall swallows thickly and looks at Carlos, giving him a small smile. "Booze?"

Blinking, Carlos looks down at the bag in his arms and then up at Kendall, nodding. "I spaced," he says, laughing quietly as he walks over to Kendall, handing the bag to him. "It looks almost like your old room, minus the fact that it's a basement."

Kendall nods his head and takes the bag, grabbing the bottle of whiskey before twisting the cap off. He takes a long swig and closes his eyes tightly, feeling the alcohol warm his throat and his chest, making a small noise at the feeling. With a heavy sigh, Kendall opens his eyes and takes another swig, swallowing that sip before putting the cap back on the bottle and setting it on the nightstand, flicking his gaze to Carlos, smiling softly. He lets their eyes lock for a moment before dropping his gaze to the buttons of his shirt, playing with one of them before undoing them slowly.

Once the shirt is undone, Kendall peels it off and tosses it onto the floor before grabbing the bottle of whiskey once more. He pulls his legs up onto the bed and stretches out, leaning his head back against the headboard as he twists the cap off, bringing the bottle to his lips for another long swig. When he pulls the bottle away from his mouth, Kendall wipes it with the back of his hand and motions to the spot next to him, raising a brow at Carlos.

"Gonna sit down?"

Carlos swallows and bites his lip. "Yeah. I guess so," he answers, shrugging as he takes his shoes off, kicking them away before taking his jacket off and letting it fall onto the floor. He climbs onto the bed next to Kendall and grabs the bottle of vodka laying on the mattress, twisting the cap off quickly before taking a long gulp.

"Someone's thirsty," Kendall hums, tapping his fingers against the neck of the bottle. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

Swallowing hard, Kendall crosses his legs at the ankles and chews on his lip. "Did you mean it when you said that you missed me?"

"I haven't said that," Carlos mumbles, running his finger along the rim of his bottle, looking down as he speaks. "Why do you ask?"

"You did say it, though, and you also said that you still loved me." Something makes it's way up Kendall's throat and he swallows it back, making a face at the burn that follows it. "You honestly don't remember when you called me in April," he says, forming the statement like a question.

Carlos' shoulders hunch forward and he sighs heavily, nodding. "I remember," he admits, lifting his head to look at Kendall, mouth twisted to one side.

"So, did you mean it?" Kendall asks, voice quiet and his breathing steady.

A moment of silence passes between them before someone breaks it.

"Yeah," Carlos answers, finally, nodding his head and sighing again. "I still miss you and I'm still insanely in love with you. Is that what you want to hear, Kendall? Do you want me to tell you that all of my relationships have failed because you're always on my mind and I still want  _you_ , even though you're off in California, fucking that hipster dude in your band?"

Something goes off inside of Kendall and he lifts a hand, curling it around the nape of Carlos' neck before pulling him forward. He meets the other man halfway and slots their lips together, closing his eyes at the feeling of Carlos' mouth against his own; it's soft and wet and familiar. Carlos tastes like  _home_  and  _love_  and _happiness_  and everything that Kendall wants, that Dustin doesn't have. It doesn't take him long to remember the curve of Carlos' mouth and he moans, tightening his fingers around the other man's neck, trying to pull him closer.

They kiss for a moment before Carlos pulls away, putting a hand on Kendall's cheek. "We can't," he whispers, voice broken and sounding like he's on the verge of tears and, fuck, Kendall really knows how to screw things up, doesn't he?

"Why not?" Well, _that_  wasn't what Kendall wanted to say.

"Because - because of Dustin," Carlos sputters, licking his lips slowly and moaning at the taste of whiskey on them.

Kendall snorts and shakes his head, moving his hand to Carlos' jaw, thumbing across his cheek slowly. "I'm still in love with _you_ ," he says and it's like a fucking weight has been lifted off his shoulders the second those words are out of his mouth. "I never wanted to break up with you, Litos, and I still want to be with you now. If you said the word, I would come back home after the tour and stay as long as you wanted me to."

Carlos gasps softly and closes his eyes, dragging his teeth over his lower lip. "Kendall..."

"Please," Kendall breathes, leaning in to brush the tip of his nose along Carlos' cheek, whispering softly. "Please just say the word, Carlos. Say you want me back and that you want me to come home and I will listen, I promise."

"What about the band?" The words come out soft and shaky.

Sighing softly, Kendall shakes his head and drags the tip of his nose along the side of Carlos'. "I'd give them up for you," he whispers, fingers trailing up and down the length of Carlos' jaw lovingly. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Carlos breathes, throwing his arms around Kendall's neck. "I want you to come home, please."

Hearing that makes Kendall smile and he makes a small sobbing noise in the back of his throat as he pulls away, looking at Carlos carefully. He smiles even more and grabs both bottles of booze before setting it on the ground beside the bed. Once they're out of the way, Kendall sits up and gently pushes Carlos back onto the mattress, crawling on top of him with a small grin, licking his lips before leaning down to kiss the other man, moaning against his lips.

One of Carlos' hands goes to the back of his head and the other to the front of his stomach, fingers gripping the fabric of Kendall's tank top tightly as he kisses back eagerly, opening his mouth to allow Kendall's tongue to slide in. The first touch of Kendall's tongue against his own makes Carlos shudder and he arches off the bed, gasping against the other man's mouth, the fingers in his hair tightening and relaxing. He laughs quietly when he feels teeth biting at his lower lip and tilts his head back when Kendall's tongue drags across his jaw and down over his neck.

"Kendall," Carlos gasps, blunt nails scraping along Kendall's scalp as he bites down on the side of his neck. "Fuck, missed this... missed you."

Humming in agreement, Kendall sucks and bites on Carlos' skin, feeling his pulse underneath his lips. He traces it with his tongue and pushes his hands underneath Carlos' shirt, sliding the fabric up slowly, feeling taut skin underneath his fingertips. It makes him shudder and Kendall swallows, leans up to nudge the tip of his nose just underneath the hinge of Carlos' jaw, breathing in deeply as he presses both hands against his chest.

"I missed this too," he whispers, keeping his lips parted as he drags them down Carlos' jaw, hot breath falling against his skin. "God, I never could stop thinking about you and I missed touching you, hearing you say my name.."

Carlos runs his fingernails down Kendall's scalp and turns his head, whimpering. "Don't tease... it's been too long."

The fingers in his hair twist and tangle slightly, tugging at the locks and causing Kendall to bite Carlos' chin. He pulls away and straddles the other man's hips, pushing his shirt up all the way and only stopping briefly to motion for Carlos to sit up. Once he's sitting up, Kendall pulls the fabric over his head and tosses it onto the ground, not waiting to hear the soft thump that follows before leaning down to kiss Carlos passionately. While he licks his way into the other man's mouth, Kendall moves a hand between them and pops the button on Carlos' jeans, working the zipper down as he eases away.

"You're gorgeous," he breathes, smiling as he slips off Carlos' lap and onto the floor, kneeling in front of the bed. "I'm so sorry, for everything."

"Shh, it's okay." Carlos strokes his fingers down the side of Kendall's face and smiles softly, dragging the tips along his jaw. "I forgive you and I'm sorry for just giving up like that and I don't understand why you still want me but, god, I'm glad you do," he whispers, lifting his hips slightly to allow Kendall to pull his jeans off, keeping their eyes locked until the denim is around his ankles.

Their gaze is broken just long enough for Kendall to pull Carlos' jeans away from his feet and lay the denim down on the floor. He looks up once they're off and smiles softly, running both of his hands up the outside of Carlos' thighs, brushing his fingertips against the bottom of his boxers. Seeing Carlos like this, after so long, takes Kendall's breath away and he swallows thickly as he leans in to kiss the inside of Carlos' knee, breathing softly against it.

Kendall kisses up the inside of Carlos' thigh and pulls his boxers down slowly, looking up at him with a soft smile, huffing when his bangs fall over his eyes. He laughs and mutters 'thanks' when Carlos pushes them back and tucks the hair behind his ears, the pads of his fingers brushing along the shell of Kendall's ear before moving back to his jaw. Swallowing hard and licking his lips, Kendall goes back to tugging Carlos' boxers down and he sits back to take them completely off, tossing them to the floor.

" _Holy shit_ " is the first thing that comes out of Kendall's mouth when he sees Carlos naked and his eyes go to the tattoo on his side. "You weren't kidding about that tattoo," he murmurs, leaning forward with his hand outstretched to touch it, smiling softly when Carlos gasps and cants his hips.

Huffing, Carlos puts his hands on the back of Kendall's neck and gently tugs him forward. "Why would I kid about it?"

"I dunno, to make yourself look cool?" Cocking his head to the side, Kendall grins and leans forward, pressing a kiss to the underside of Carlos' cock, moving a hand to wrap around the base. His eyes flutter shut and he breathes deeply through his nose, sliding up to take the head between his lips, sucking on it slowly, listening to Carlos moan loudly above him. The angle is a little awkward but Kendall doesn't care, just keeps sucking the head slowly, twirling his tongue around it and teasing the slit with the tip.

"Christ, I forgot how -  _ngh_  - how good your mouth feels," Carlos moans, moving a hand to the back of Kendall's head while the other slips down between his shoulders, pressing against it. He digs his nails into Kendall's skin, scratching up and across his shoulders, digging his fingertips into the warm, smooth skin underneath.

Breathing in deeply through his nose, Kendall smiles and sits up on his knees, splaying a hand on the inside of Carlos' thigh, stroking the shaft of his cock with the other as he sucks the head. He moans against it and keeps tonguing the slit slowly, carefully, listening to the way Carlos comes undone above him, smirking around him. After a moment, Kendall wraps his hand around the base again and slides his lips down until he's got most of Carlos' cock in his mouth, swallowing around it as he closes his eyes tightly. The familiarity of everything hits Kendall like a ton of bricks and he realizes just how easy it is for him to get back into doing this with Carlos, how he remembers his body like it was his own.

A gasp leaves Carlos' throat and he tightens his fingers in Kendall's hair. "Fuck, oh, god. I love you," he babbles, nails scraping over Kendall's shoulders, scratching him just enough to break the skin. "Haven't stopped since the day you left."

Kendall hums around Carlos' cock and sucks slowly, hollowing his cheeks as he slides his mouth up before going back down. He strokes and sucks at the same time, working up a quick rhythm that's got Carlos moaning loudly and bucking his hips forward, trying to shove his cock down Kendall's throat and, after a moment, he relaxes and allows it. The second he feels the head of Carlos' cock touch the back of his throat, Kendall moans loudly and holds onto his thigh, fingertips digging into the smooth, tanned skin.

"Not sure - not gonna last long," Carlos pants, digging his nails into the dip between Kendall's shoulders as he groans, thrusting against the other man's mouth slowly, trying to hold back. He doesn't want to come so quickly but he can't help it; Kendall's mouth is too hot and it's been too long since he's had a blowjob this good. Still, Carlos tries to focus on not coming so soon and he stills his hips against the mattress, moving both hands to the back of Kendall's head, fingers tightening in his hair.

And Kendall can tell that Carlos is holding back, knows he wants to come but isn't going to let himself go just yet. That makes Kendall's cock throb against his jeans and he presses his hips against the side of the mattress, moaning around Carlos' cock at the friction. He keeps sucking hard while he ruts against the mattress, moving a hand down to cup Carlos' balls, rolling them between his fingers as he pulls his mouth off just so the head is still between his lips. The tip of his tongue flicks against the slit and he opens his eyes, staring up at Carlos through his eyelashes, grinning at the way he's moving on the bed, tossing his head from side to side as he moans Kendall's name.

"Come on," Kendall whispers, once he's pulled off Carlos' cock, "I want you to come for me. Don't you want to, baby?" As he speaks, Kendall strokes Carlos' cock up and down and then leans in to tongue the slit again, sucking lightly on the head as he gives the other man's balls a squeeze.

That's what sets Carlos off and he holds Kendall still, moaning loudly when he comes, hips stuttering forward. He pants and says Kendall's name over and over, fingers dragging through his hair as his orgasm rips through him, hips arched off the bed and head thrown back. When he comes down from his orgasm, Carlos lets himself fall back against the mattress with a huff, his fingers still tangled in Kendall's hair, twisting and pulling on it just before he pulls off.

Kendall swallows Carlos' come and licks his lips slowly. "God, that was - "

" - fantastic, amazing, wonderful?" Carlos interrupts, chuckling weakly.

"All of the above." Laughing, Kendall pushes himself to his feet and takes his tank top off, tossing it onto the floor before undoing his jeans. He gets rid of the denim and his boxers, pushing them down before kicking them away and crawling on top of Carlos again, wrapping a hand around his cock. "You wanna get me off, baby?"

Licking his lips, Carlos sits up as much as he can and wraps a hand around Kendall's hip, swatting the hand away from his cock. "Yeah," he whispers, voice a broken mess from the moaning that he did, and he smiles up at the other man, wetting his lips again. Once Kendall removes his hand, Carlos wraps his own around his cock and starts stroking slowly, leaning down to spit on the head before running his thumb through it, dragging it down the underside.

"Fuck," Kendall moans, moving a hand to the back of Carlos' head, fingertips scratching his scalp. "Missed this."

Carlos pulls his hand away and wraps them both around Kendall's hip before rolling him onto the mattress. "Me too."

They laugh together and Carlos leans down to kiss Kendall, moaning at the taste of his own come. He eases away and leans down, dragging his lips across Kendall's chest before kissing a trail down the middle of his stomach, biting here and there. With a small sigh, Carlos moves to Kendall's cock and takes it all on one go, deepthroating it easily and chuckling around it when Kendall curses, the fingers on the back of his head sliding down to the nape of his neck.

It doesn't take long for Carlos to get back into the rhythm of everything and he sucks hard and long, hollowing his cheeks out as he pulls up before going back down, taking Kendall's cock all the way. He gags once or twice but recovers quickly, moving a hand to play with Kendall's balls as he keeps sucking, teasing the head with the tip of his tongue before diving back down. When he hears Kendall moan and say that he's going to come, Carlos starts to suck even harder, giving his balls a squeeze and moaning when he starts to feel come hit the back of his throat.

Carlos swallows with ease and pulls off, licking the head until Kendall whimpers and begs him to stop. He gives the head a soft kiss before sliding up and laying on top of Kendall, pressing their bodies tightly together until he can feel Kendall's still-hard cock pressing against his thigh. A small chuckle escapes and Carlos sighs quietly as he leans down, kissing Kendall lazily.

When they ease apart, Kendall grins and licks his lips. "So, you want me to come back home?"

"We'll talk about it more tomorrow," Carlos says and nods his head slowly, smiling back at Kendall. "But for now, we should probably get some sleep.. and pray that your mom doesn't find us in bed together in the morning."

Kendall's heart jumps when he hears 'in bed together' and he swallows, nodding as he runs a hand up Carlos' back slowly, drawing small circles along his shoulders before rolling them onto their sides. He reaches down to grab the blankets and pulls them up to their chests, wrapping an arm around Carlos to pull him close, yawning quietly. After pressing a chaste kiss to the other man's lips, Kendall lays their foreheads together and breathes slowly, falling asleep with a smile on his face.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: morning sex, biting, nipple play, hair pulling, feeeeeeelings, awkwardness.]

When Kendall wakes up in the morning, he forgets where he is for a moment. He mistakes the breath on the back of his neck for Dustin's and he groans, turning over until he's face to face with the man laying beside him, blinking rapidly when he sees Carlos tangled up in the sheets. It all feels like a dream to him, so Kendall moves a hand up and touches Carlos' stubble-laced jaw, feeling the roughness scrape along his fingertips and he smiles when the other man makes a noise in the back of his throat as he nuzzles against Kendall's fingers lightly.

"Good morning," he mumbles, dragging his fingers up Carlos' jaw, touching the hinge before lifting them to his earring, tugging on it lightly. "Or are you still asleep? I can shut up and just lay here, reveling in the fact that you're naked and in my bed."

Carlos laughs, the sound rumbling deep in his chest, as he shakes his head. "I'm _half_  up," he answers, yawning quietly.

"Do I need to wake you up fully?" Kendall's lips curve into a grin and he cups Carlos' jaw, brushing the pad of his thumb along his cheek. He can remember the last time he woke up next to Carlos like it was yesterday and he swallows thickly, wondering how many more mornings he's going to have like this. Kendall hopes he gets to experience it for the rest of his life.

"Hmm..." Carlos breathes in deeply and turns his head, pressing a kiss to Kendall's palm before turning back to him. "How are you going to do that?"

The grin on Kendall's face spreads and he slips his hand down to Carlos' neck, thumb brushing over his jaw slowly. "Anyway you want," he whispers, licking his lips slowly as he continues to brush his thumb across the sharp cut of Carlos' jaw, feeling his stubble underneath his skin.

"I was thinking you could fuck me."

"You really want that?" Kendall asks, biting his lower lip as he breathes in slowly through his nose. "It's been a while, Litos."

Breathing in deeply, Carlos closes his eyes and nods, dragging his chin up the length of Kendall's thumb. "I'm sure," he whispers and blinks his eyes open slowly, giving the other man a small smile, chewing on the edge of his lip.

Kendall huffs quietly and rolls Carlos onto his back, pressing their bodies together as he leans down to kiss him languidly. He tilts his head and sucks lightly on Carlos' lower lip, biting it gently before releasing it and going in to kiss him again, rolling his hips down. They moan in unison and Kendall drops his head, kissing a trail across the other man's collarbone, biting and sucking every so often, sliding his cock against Carlos', groaning against his skin before biting it again.

A gasp leaves Carlos' lips and he tilts his head back, dragging his fingers through Kendall's hair. "Come on," he huffs, impatient.

"Can't even give me time to get reacquainted with your body," Kendall mumbles, tsking softly as he kisses down, taking one of Carlos' nipple rings between his teeth, giving it an experimental tug. When Carlos gasps and whimpers, Kendall smirks and pulls it again, sliding his hand up to the other one, taking that ring between his forefinger and his thumb. He tugs them a few more times and then laves his tongue over the one while he presses his hand against Carlos' ribs, feeling them underneath his skin.

After licking and sucking on Carlos' nipples for another moment, Kendall drops down and presses a kiss to his tattoo, breathing deeply through his nose as he closes his eyes. He kisses down slowly and then over, pressing a kiss just above Carlos' navel before biting it lightly, grinning when he hisses and whines, attaching Kendall's name to both noises. A laugh rumbles deep in Kendall's chest and he presses a kiss to the place he bit before sitting up to remove the sheets and push them off the end of the bed, looking at Carlos' body slowly.

Shaking his head in disbelief that Carlos is actually there and spread out in front of him, cock hard and curving up toward his stomach, Kendall spreads his legs and leans down, kissing the inside of his thigh. He strokes the outside of the other and kisses down, biting the inside of Carlos' thigh before moving up to his cock, licking a broad stripe up the underside, grinning when he gets a groan of protest and a hand in his hair, yanking him away. With a pout, Kendall pulls away and puts an arm on either side of Carlos' hips, boxing him in as he leans down to kiss his hip, biting the bone gently.

"I don't think I have any lube... or condoms."

Carlos makes a noise and lifts his hips, fingers tangling in Kendall's hair. "Use spit and you're clean, aren't you?"

"Get tested every couple of months," Kendall answers, lips brushing along Carlos' abdomen as he lifts a hand, pressing two fingers against Carlos' lips, grinning. "Suck them for me."

"Aren't you demanding." Huffing, Carlos wraps his hands around Kendall's wrist and opens his mouth, sliding the digits in effortlessly. He sucks slowly and wraps his tongue around them, sliding it between them, flicking the tip against the webbing before taking them down to the last knuckle. When he hears Kendall moan and feels teeth digging into his hips, Carlos starts to suck on them messily, moaning loudly around the digits until Kendall is growling below him, laving across the mark he made on his hip. After another moment, Carlos pulls Kendall's hand away and presses the pad of his thumb against the other man's pulse, grinning. "Wet enough?"

Kendall growls again and nods, pulling away from Carlos' hip. "I'd say so," he mutters, smirking.

"Good," Carlos says as he lets go of Kendall's wrist, "now hurry up and get your fingers in me."

"Demanding this morning, aren't we?" Shaking his head, Kendall uses his knees to spread Carlos' legs more before bringing his hand down. He presses both fingertips against his entrance and pushes in slowly, groaning at the tight heat that surrounds his fingers. When just the tips are inside, Kendall gives Carlos a moment to adjust and then slides them all the way to the middle knuckle, stroking the inside of his thigh slowly.

When he feels Kendall's fingers inside of him, Carlos moans and plants his feet flat against the mattress to lift himself up and back. He moves his hands to the sheets and twists his fingers in them, pushing back against Kendall's hand until his fingers are in all the way. It's an amazing feeling that Carlos hasn't felt in a long time and it brings him back to that summer, to all the times he and Kendall had sex, and he lets out a small whimper, rolling his hips slightly. He briefly compares everything else to this moment and pushes all those thoughts aside, focusing instead on the way Kendall's fingers are separating slowly.

"You okay?"

Carlos hums and looks up at Kendall, nodding slowly. "More than okay," he answers, gasping when Kendall crooks his fingers slightly. "Ah, Christ.."

"That's not my name but I'll roll with it," Kendall mumbles, smirking as he pulls his fingers out slowly, only to shove them back in. He crooks them again and brushes the pads against Carlos' prostate, his body trembling when he hears the noise that comes from Carlos' throat. Part of him knows that he should try and keep the other man quiet but Kendall doesn't care at this point; everyone will figure out what happened sooner than later, so why not make it sooner? Still, having his mom hear them would be embarrassing...

"I think I'm - _fuck_  - ready," Carlos whimpers and it pulls Kendall out of his thoughts, causing him to still his fingers. "Yeah, want your cock inside me already. Can't wait any longer, please."

Kendall swallows hard and pulls his fingers out, bringing his hand up to spit liberally on it before rubbing it on his cock. His hands shake as he wraps one around the base of his cock, pressing the other one against Carlos' thigh to push it out more. Licking his lips, Kendall presses the head of his cock against Carlos' entrance and slides in slowly, making a choked off noise at just how fucking tight Carlos is and he remembers the first time they had sex, how tight he was then. The memory makes Kendall tense up and he stills with his cock half buried inside Carlos, fingertips digging into his thigh as he draws a deep breath in through his nose, calming himself down.

When he's calm enough, Kendall thrusts inside Carlos completely, hunching over his body as he gasps and moans his name. He stays like that for a moment before sitting up on his knees, both hands going to Carlos' legs to hitch them over his shoulders easily, sliding his hands down the outside of his thighs before gripping his hips. One of Carlos' heels digs into Kendall's shoulder and he groans, pulling his cock out halfway before slamming back in, fingertips digging roughly into the other man's skin.

"Fuck... yeah, just - just like that." The words come out as a broken moan and Carlos moves his hands to Kendall's forearms, gripping them tightly as he rolls his hips back, groaning. He continues to babble, mostly just begging for Kendall to fuck him harder and saying how much he's missed his cock, all the words going straight to Kendall's cock, making him fuck Carlos harder, just like he wanted.

Sweat pours down the back of Kendall's neck and across his shoulders as he thrust into Carlos harder, panting. "God, missed fucking you," he gasps, leaning down to press his forehead against Carlos' neck, breathing harshly against his skin. "I love you. _Fuck_ , I love you so much."

Those words set Carlos' skin on fire and he shudders underneath Kendall, sliding a hand up his arm and over his shoulders, fingertips scrabbling against his sweaty skin. When he finds purchase, Carlos digs his fingernails into the other man's skin, dragging them down the length of his back and whimpering when Kendall's hips jab against his ass roughly. He gasps and moves his free hand to the back of Kendall's head, fingers dragging through the damp locks, tugging on them roughly when he feels teeth scraping along his throat, lips wrapping around a spot before sucking roughly.

"Love you too," Carlos manages, the words coming out in a wrecked moan when Kendall bites down on him again. "Yeah, baby, mark me.."

Growling, Kendall bites down on Carlos' neck as hard as he can and pulls back when he whimpers in pain. He laves over the mark before sucking on it, pulling his cock out before slamming back into Carlos roughly, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air. When Kendall's happy with the mark he's made on Carlos, he pulls back and sits up straight, hands moving back down to Carlos' hips, long fingers wrapping around them. He licks his lips and pulls out slowly, listening to the way Carlos moans and whimpers, before slamming back in, moaning loudly.

"Getting close," he grits out, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he continues to thrust in and out of Carlos, feeling his balls tighten and his body tense, heat coiling low in his stomach. The heat goes from his stomach to the base of his spine, traveling up and causing him to shudder, burying himself in Carlos' body with a groan.

Carlos licks his lips and moves a hand down, wrapping his fingers around his cock. "Come for me," he begs, stroking his cock quickly and in time with each of Kendall's thrusts. He arches off the bed and pushes back, rotating his hips slightly as he pants Kendall's name over and over, stringing a few ' _oh fuck_ 's and ' _oh God_ 's along with it.

What sets Kendall off is hearing Carlos saying his name and feeling how tight he gets around his cock. He thrusts in a few more times, losing his rhythm completely, and his body goes completely rigid when he comes, hips pressed tightly against Carlos' ass. As his orgasm hits, Kendall moans Carlos' name at the top of his lungs, not thinking about the fact that his mother is probably upstairs, listening to the whole thing. He whimpers and pants when he comes down, sliding out of Carlos with a grunt before sitting back on his heels, letting Carlos' lets fall from his shoulders.

Swallowing thickly, Kendall moves his hands up and down Carlos' thighs, fingers trembling against his tanned skin. He murmurs words of encouragement, telling Carlos to come for him and moaning softly as he watches his hand move up and down his cock, the other going to his balls, cupping them tightly. This sight is something Kendall has thought about a lot and he swallows again, rubbing Carlos' thighs harder when he says that he's going to come.

"Fuck!" Carlos screams, back arching off the mattress and his heels digging in, come shooting onto his chest and stomach, a few ropes hitting the side of his neck and the pillow behind his head. He keeps stroking himself through his orgasm, whimpering quietly until he's done, dropping his hands away to take one of Kendall's, tangling their fingers together as he pants, giving the other man a lazy smile. Kendall returns the smile and leans down, licking up some of the come on Carlos' stomach, grinning when he moans. "Ugh, stop that... I can't go again this soon," he complains.

Laughing, Kendall pulls away and falls onto the bed next to Carlos, laying on his side. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, smiling when Carlos turns to look at him, narrowing his eyes. "What's that look for? I'm not the one that got come on everything!"

"Well fuck you too," Carlos grumbles, laughing when Kendall gasps. "I'm glaring because you're not sorry about that."

"I am deeply apologetic about it, you don't know my feelings."

Carlos turns onto his side and grumbles about his ass being sore the next day; Kendall laughs. "What're you laughing at?"

"You and your ass being sore," Kendall answers before leaning in to kiss Carlos softly, smiling against his lips. "I'll make it feel better later."

"Oh, you will?" When Kendall hums and smiles, Carlos laughs and shakes his head. "How will you do that?"

A grin takes over Kendall's face and he leans in, whispering in Carlos' ear, "I'll tongue-fuck you and that will make you better."

"Fuck," Carlos breathes, shuddering at Kendall's words and the feel of his breath against his ear. "You promise?"

"I promise I will tonight, after I've spent some time with my mom and everyone else."

"And talked to Dustin."

Kendall frowns and nods his head, pulling back to look at Carlos. "And after I've done that," he says, biting his lip. "Does that mean that you want to get back together?"

"Wasn't that obvious last night when I said I want you to come home?" Carlos asks, arching a brow with a quiet chuckle.

"I wasn't sure if that was the alcohol talking or if you were serious," Kendall mumbles, shrugging as he runs his fingertips up and down Carlos' arm.

Sighing, Carlos cups Kendall's chin with his clean hand and leans in to kiss him, smiling when he eases back. "I want to talk about getting back together first, but I think we can work things out."

"What's there to talk about?"

"You being good on the road and not doing anything with Dustin, texting me when you can, calling on the nights you're put up in a hotel, and you coming home to me when you can, after the tour. Stuff like that."

As Carlos talks, Kendall nods his head and cups his elbow, brushing his thumb over it slowly. "I can promise you that nothing will happen with Dustin and, if it did, then I'll never show my face around here again," he mumbles, biting the inside of his lip. "The rest of your demands can be met accordingly."

"My 'demands'?"

"Yes, your  _demands_ ," Kendall mumbles, leaning in to kiss and bite at Carlos' lower lip.

Carlos is about to open his mouth to say something when someone knocks on the basement door. When the noise comes again, Kendall scrambles to grab the blanket from the floor and he throws it over them, wrapping his arms around Carlos when he turns over, pressing his back against Kendall's chest. They try to act natural when a third knock comes and Carlos laces their fingers together, laying both of their hands low on his stomach when Kendall calls out, "Come in!"

The door creaks open and Jennifer comes down the stairs, stopping halfway when she spots Carlos and Kendall in bed together. She raises an eyebrow and then shakes her head, running a hand through her hair as she looks around the room, setting the clothes on the floor and the two bottles of alcohol beside the bed. When she looks back at the boys, she shakes her head again and laughs.

"I'm making breakfast," she says and crosses her arms, eyeing them carefully. "Do you want to stay, Carlos?"

Blushing deeply, Carlos nods his head and then bites the fuller part of his lip. "If you don't mind," he says, voice cracking a little.

"I don't mind at all." Jennifer smiles and turns to go back up the stairs, stopping on the top one for a moment. "Make sure you take a shower before you two come up," she calls out before disappearing into the kitchen, letting the door shut loudly behind her.

"Well," Kendall says, laughing as he buries his face in the crook of Carlos' neck, "that was embarrassing."

Carlos huffs and closes his eyes, nodding slightly. "You can say that again," he mutters.

"That was embarrassing."

"I didn't mean literally, asshole!" Laughing, Carlos pats Kendall's hand and then pulls away, standing up. He knocks the bottles of booze over and gasps, looking down to make sure they didn't break. "Where's the shower at?"

Humming quietly, Kendall sits up and looks around, noticing a door off to the right. "Over there," he says, pointing in the direction before hopping off the bed, smacking Carlos' ass on his way to the bathroom, laughing when he yelps and curses. "Sorry, I can't resist smacking your butt!"

"My butt? What are you, five?"

"If I were, this would be hard to explain." Kendall turns and winks at Carlos, scratching across his hips before turning back. He walks in the bathroom and goes to start the shower, turning the hot and cold knobs until the temperature is perfect. Once perfect water temperature is achieved, Kendall steps under the spray and lets the water wash over his body, sighing heavily when it touches his shoulders. Carlos joins him a moment later and they take a somewhat innocent shower, staying under the water and washing each other until the spray turns cold.

**x x**

Jennifer is waiting in the kitchen when they come up and she points to two cups of coffee on the counter, smiling when Kendall says that she's the bests mom in the world. She continues to cook, pushing eggs around in the skillet before shutting it off and grabbing a bowl to slide them into, setting the pan back on the stove. When she turns around, Jennifer sees Carlos sitting on Kendall's lap with a cup of coffee cradled in his hands and she smiles, shaking her head slowly.

"So," she says, setting the bowl down among the other breakfast foods that are on the table, "does this mean that you two are back together?"

Carlos flushes and looks up at Jennifer, chewing on his lip. "I guess so," he answers, shrugging a shoulder.

"We're going to try again," Kendall adds, setting his cup on the table before wrapping both arms around Carlos. "I shouldn't have broken up with him in the first place and I'm still sorry about that one."

"And I said you were forgiven." Turning, Carlos smiles and leans down to kiss the bridge of Kendall's nose. He pulls away after a second and slides off of Kendall's lap, sitting down in the chair next to him. "You don't think this is a bad idea, do you?"

Blinking, Jennifer shakes her head and goes to grab three plates, handing the boys one before she sits down. "I think it's good for both of you," she answers, smiling as she piles food onto her plate, sighing as she sets it down. "Sylvia was always worried about you, Carlos, and I know that she'll be happy to hear that you're back with Kendall. I'm just glad that you two have finally opened up your eyes to see that you were unhappy without one another and that you two are meant to be together."

"You really think that, mom? That we're meant to be together?" Kendall asks, blushing slightly.

"I know so," Jennifer says, simply, giving the boys a smile before she starts eating.

Kendall and Carlos look at one another, shrug, and then turn to put food on their plates, all three of them eating in silence. When they're done, Jennifer takes the plates and sets them in the sink, rinsing them quickly before turning back to the boys, leaning against the sink with her hands wrapped around the edge. She chews on her lip, sighs, and lifts a hand to push her bangs out of her eyes, tucking the hair behind her ear.

"Your dad wants to see you while you're here," she says, resting her hand on the side of her neck. "I told him it was up to you, seeing as you're an adult and you're earning your own money, but he keeps insisting that, just because he's your father, he has the right to see you any time he wants."

Scrunching his nose, Kendall shakes his head and sets his jaw firmly. "I don't want to see that asshole. He didn't believe that I could make something of myself and, now that I have, he wants to be a father to me. Why couldn't he have done that back when I was a kid and I first started playing music, huh? No, fuck him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers, immediately, bobbing his head slightly. "I'm pretty sure."

Jennifer worries her bottom lip more and drops her hand, slipping both behind her back to remove her apron. "Then I guess I'll let him know," she says, sighing as she lifts the apron off and folds it, setting it on the counter beside the sink.

"I'm sorry you're in the middle of all this shit," he mumbles, wrapping his hands around his coffee cup.

"It's not your fault." Jennifer laughs softly and claps her hands together. "So, I thought we could go shopping and catch up, how's that sound?"

Kendall grins and looks up at his mom, nodding his head quickly. "Sounds good to me," he answers, chuckling.

"I've gotta get out of here," Carlos interjects and stands, stretching with a groan. "You guys have fun shopping. I'll see you later?" The question is directed toward Kendall and he turns to look down at him, giving a soft smile.

"Of course." With a smile, Kendall stands and wraps his arms around Carlos, pulling him close before kissing his lips quickly. "I'll see you at Logan's."

Chuckling, Carlos nods and pecks Kendall's lips again before pulling away; he gives Jennifer a way and smiles at her, "Thank you for breakfast and, you know, not freaking out about this morning or the fact that Kendall and I are back together."

"You're welcome," Jennifer answers, laughing as she waves Carlos off. "We'll see you later."

They watch Carlos leave and Kendall turns to grab his coffee, downing it quickly before taking the empty cup to the sink. "So, when are we leaving?"

"Whenever you want."

"I figured we could catch up here, over some of that pie over there?" Kendall nods pointedly to the cake platter setting on the counter, grinning when his mom rolls her eyes, mumbling something about it being too early. "It's never too early!"

Jennifer shoos Kendall away and pushes him toward the living room. "We'll have pie later," she says, laughing as they head to the couch and she sits down near the arm, curling up against it. "Tell me about seeing Isaac yesterday."

When Kendall sits down, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, smiling at the thought of holding Isaac. He leans back against the couch and sighs again, crossing his arms over his chest, giving his mom a rundown of what happened and, when she asks, he even answers all the questions about Carlos and his relationship with Dustin.

Two hours pass and Jennifer announces that she's ready to go out, excusing herself as she leaves the room and goes upstairs. When she's gone, Kendall goes out to Camille's car and grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he makes his way back into the house, stepping in just as his phone buzzes in his pocket. He shuts the door and takes his phone out, biting his lower lip as he reads the message from Dustin, stating that he wants to meet Jennifer; Kendall sends back a  _'we'll talk about it later'_  before heading down to the basement to change.

**x x**

They end up staying in the mall for hours and Kendall gets recognized in every store they go to, which puts a damper on the quality mother-son bonding time. It gets to the point where they're stopping every couple of minutes to take a picture with someone or to sign an autograph; one time a lady stops them to ask if Kendall is single and he just brushes off like it's nothing because, really, worse things have happened.

When they finally get home, Jennifer claims that she's exhausted and she kisses Kendall on the cheek before taking her things upstairs. He watches her disappear up the stairs and then goes to take his own things down to the basement, setting the bags on the middle of the mattress before taking his phone out of his pocket. Chewing on his bottom lip, Kendall sends Dustin a message asking if he wants to meet up, tapping his foot against the floor as he waits for an answer.

A few minutes later, Dustin replies with:  _'Sure, give me an address.'_

Kendall thinks about where he wants to meet Dustin and finally gives him the address of his old home, knowing that his dad still owns it and that he won't be there for a while. Once the message is sent, Kendall slips the phone back into his pocket and runs up the basement stairs, leaving the house quietly before getting into the car. His heart is heavy as he backs out of the driveway and he taps his fingertips against the steering wheel as he heads over to his dad's house, feeling more guilty with each mile.

There are no cars in the driveway when Kendall gets to his father's place and he parks quickly, killing the engine before getting out. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stares at the house, working his jaw from side to side as he moves toward the porch, a feeling of dread washing over him. Instead of trying to go inside, Kendall sits on the porch steps and watches the road, folding his arms over his knees as he hums quietly to himself, looking up and down the street.

A taxi pulls up fifteen minutes later and Dustin steps out of it, wearing his usual hipster outfit with his tight jeans, band t-shirt, and dumb glasses. He pays the driver, steps away from the road, and then turns to smile at Kendall, nearly running up the lawn to get to him, taking a spot on the porch when he gets there.

"Hey," he says, nudging his shoulder against Kendall's.

"You're in a good mood."

Dustin shrugs and smiles, scratching his beard. "Kind of, yeah. Why, aren't you?"

"I'm in a great mood," Kendall mumbles, scratching the back of his head as he turns to face Dustin. "I just need to tell you something."

The expression on Dustin's face changes quickly and Kendall's heart breaks a little; he doesn't like hurting people, especially people that don't deserve it, no matter how much of an asshole they've been. Sighing, Kendall puts his hands on either side of Dustin's face and strokes his thumbs over his cheeks slowly, feeling his beard scrape along his fingers and it doesn't make him feel the same way as Carlos' does.

"This is about Carlos, huh?"

Kendall lets a pathetic noise - that sounds like a sob - leave his lips and he nods slowly. "Yeah," he admits, still touching Dustin's face.

"You still love him," Dustin says and it isn't a question, though he forms it like one. "I knew this would happen."

"I've _never_  stopped loving him, Dust, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm hurting you right now but I honestly love him and I can't see myself with anyone  _but_  him." Kendall's voice is soft and he can hear the cracks in his words.

Licking his lips, Dustin nods slowly and gives Kendall a small smile. "At least you didn't give me the  _'it's not you; it's me'_  speech," he mumbles and that makes both of them laugh, which kind of makes Kendall feel a little better... but not much.

"So, you don't hate me?"

"Why would I hate you? I knew that you were holding back and I've been preparing myself for this day. That's why I didn't want to meet any of your friends and family, because I didn't want them to silently compare me to Carlos, who is obviously better for you than I am."

"Oh, Dustin," Kendall mumbles, throwing his arms around his (ex) boyfriend's neck, pulling him close. "It's not that he's better for me, it's just that... I can't get him out of my head, not even after two years of being apart. When we were together last night, things just fell into place and it was like I never left. Like the past two years never happened.."

Dustin nods and wraps his arms around Kendall's middle, burying his face against his hair. "So," he sighs, "when do I get to meet him?"

That throws Kendall off and he pulls back, forehead furrowing as he stares at Dustin, hands resting on either side of his neck. He searches his friend's face and smiles softly, biting down on his lower lip as he nods, feeling tears rim his eyes. When Dustin lifts a hand and brushes his thumb along Kendall's cheekbone, he closes his eyes and lets the tears fall, burying his face against Dustin's chest, shoulders shaking as he cries.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes," Kendall answers, laughing brokenly as he pulls away, wiping his eyes with both hands. "Yes, you can meet him; I want you all to meet Carlos and the rest of my family, especially little Isaac."

A smile takes over Dustin's face and he nods, brushing a tear away from Kendall's cheek with his thumb. "We'll have to do that soon."

"How about tonight? I can make dinner and have everyone over."

"That sounds good to me," Dustin answers, laughing quietly as he drops his hands. "Will your dad be there?"

Kendall makes a face and shakes his head. "No, he won't."

"Is he  _here_?"

"Nah," Kendall says, shrugging as he turns to look at the door. "Probably at work or fucking someone's secretary."

Dustin laughs and shakes his head. "Then why'd we meet here?"

"I honestly don't even know." And it's the truth; Kendall doesn't have an explanation as to  _why_  he chose to meet Dustin at his father's house, just knows that it isn't public, which is what he wanted to avoid. "I guess because it's private and no one will recognize me as  _'Kendall the famous musician'_  because they all know me as the boy who would mow their lawns in the summer."

"That's cute."

"Shut up," Kendall mumbles, elbowing Dustin in the ribs. "So, you wanna text the boys and tell them about the dinner?"

Rolling his eyes and sighing playfully, Dustin takes his phone out. "I guess I could do that," he grumbles.

"You will if you want food... and dessert." While Dustin texts the guys, Kendall stands and sends a few messages of his own, one to Logan asking if he and Camille want to come over for dinner, then one to Carlos, asking the same thing but adding  _'do you want to meet Dustin?'_  onto it.

When they're both done sending out texts, they get into the car and Kendall drives Dustin back to the hotel, giving him one last, chaste kiss before driving back to his mom's house, feeling better the closer he gets to home. He parks in the driveway when he gets there and sits out in his car, checking his messages to see if anyone replied, smiling when he reads everyone's messages, stating that they're coming to dinner. After reading all the texts over again, Kendall sends a time to all of them and texts his mother's address to Josh and Kyle before going inside.

**x x**

Kendall makes a grocery list with his mother and they head to the store after they're done. They buy everything they need to make lasagna, homemade garlic bread, and apple pie before going back home. When they get there and all of the bags have been taken inside, Jennifer starts on the pie while Kendall starts working on the lasagna, both of them humming and talking to one another as they cook, laughing together. Carlos comes over before anyone else and he steals a piece of apple before Jennifer sets the top crust over it and Kendall bites half of it when he puts it between his teeth, grinning.

While the food cooks, the three of them sit around and talk about everything that's happened while they wait for everyone to show up... and Kendall's only a little nervous about his once-ex-now-boyfriend and his once-boyfriend-now-ex meeting.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: smoking, mentions of drinking, surprise sexual content because that's fun!, drunk (but probably not written as very 'drunk') sex, biting, hair pulling, fingering, bottom!Kendall, blowjobs, cuddles, and I'm pretty sure that's it.]

The doorbell rings an hour later and Jennifer goes to answer it while Carlos and Kendall stay in the kitchen. Once she leaves the room, Carlos slides over to where Kendall is leaning against the counter and kisses him deeply, pressing a hand against the back of his neck. He pulls Kendall down just a bit and wraps the other hand around his hip, thumbing over the bone through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Carlos starts to pull back after a moment until Kendall puts a hand on either side of his face to keep him still and kisses him again, thumbs brushing along his jaw and cheek slowly. This kiss doesn't last long and they pull apart when Jennifer comes back into the room, clearing her throat loudly.

"The Mitchell family is here," she announces, smirking as she takes a seat at the table.

Kendall raises a brow and cocks his head to the side. "The  _Mitchell_  family? They're not even married!"

"We could be," Logan says as he comes in, holding Isaac against his chest.

"I thought you guys said you weren't getting married," Carlos comments, crossing his arms over his chest.

Rolling his eyes, Logan comes forward and laughs, rubbing the baby's back. "We changed our minds."

"And I've decided that Kendall's going to be my maid of honour." Camille smirks when she comes into the room, pushing her bangs out of her eyes and tucking the curls behind her ears. "I'm thinking hot pink dresses because Kendall would look hot in that colour," she adds, laughing quietly.

"I could totally rock a dress," Kendall replies, winking at Camille as he goes over to Logan, holding his hands out. "Gimme the baby."

Logan sighs playfully and carefully hands Isaac to Kendall's awaiting hands. "So fucking bossy," he mutters.

"I haven't seen him in forever!" Okay, Kendall is exaggerating but it _feels_  like it's been that long. "He looks like he's grown since yesterday," he mutters, cradling Isaac in his arms as he walks over to the table, sitting down. "God, I can't get over how perfect he is."

Shaking her head slowly, Camille looks from Kendall to Carlos, raising a brow. "So you two are okay now?"

"Huh?" Carlos blinks and looks up, blushing slightly when he realizes what Camille asked. "Oh yeah, we're good now."

"I'm glad." Camille smiles and comes over to give Carlos a hug, stopping when she sees the hickey on his neck. "Oh my  _god_ , Litos!"

Furrowing his brow, Carlos stares at her and shakes his head slightly. "What did I do?"

"It's not what  _you_ did," she motions to Kendall with a grin, "it's what  _he_  did to your neck!"

"How do you know it was  _me_  and not the vacuum cleaner?" Kendall murmurs, running a finger along the back of Isaac's hand; Camille snorts and he looks up, blinking rapidly at her. "What was that noise for?"

Camille shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "I  _know_  you two and I know that you gave it to him. So what's up?"

"I had sex with Carlos last night and we're back together," he answers, shrugging nonchalantly as he turns back to Isaac.

"Kendall," Jennifer warns and he grins, looking up at her through his bangs.

"Sorry, ma."

Jennifer sighs and shakes her head. "Just... watch what you say, okay?"

"Gotcha," Kendall agrees, nodding as he turns back to Camille, smiling. "Carlos and I were physical with one another and now we're together."

"Dude," Logan grumbles, shaking his head as he continues, "that's not any better!"

Carlos laughs and drops into the chair between Logan and Kendall. "We'll, it's what happened!"

"Still." Shuddering, Logan leans back against the chair and turns his hat around, putting his hands on the bill. "I'm happy for you guys. I knew this was going to happen and Camille owes me a couple of bucks."

Turning on her heel, Camille puts her hands on her hips and stares at Logan. "Um, no. I didn't make a bet with you; I knew it would happen, too."

"You two  _bet_  that we'd get back together?" Carlos gasps dramatically and puts a hand over his heart. "I am  _offended_! Treating our romance like it's something you can gamble on. I'm ashamed of you two, honestly."

"We  _had_  to do something while you were moping and Kendall was off being a rock star that was having sex with a hipster," Logan mumbles, giving a small smile when he looks at Kendall, mouthing 'sorry' at him.

Kendall rolls his eyes and pats Isaac's bottom, swaying him softly. "It's alright and, wow, bets? Really?"

"They weren't  _serious_ ," Camille comments, letting herself drop into a chair next to Kendall, running a finger along the back of the baby's head. "I mean, Carlos made a bet that I'd get pregnant before I graduated high school and he was almost right."

"That was a fucked up bet." Shaking his head, Logan snorts and makes a face at Carlos when he turns to glare at him.

The doorbell rings again just when Kendall opens his mouth to say something and he offers to answer it, standing carefully with Isaac in his arms. He mutters an apology when the baby coos and keeps patting him on the way to the door, pulling the hand away for a moment to open it. When he opens the door, Kendall steps back and puts his hand on Isaac's back, looking up to see Dustin, Josh, and Kyle standing on the porch, giving them a soft smile.

"Come on in," he says, taking another step back into the living room to let his band mates in.

Josh comes in and holds a bottle in the air. "We brought wine," he says, smiling brightly when he sees Isaac. "Hey, there's a baby."

"We _told you_  there would be a baby, dumbass." Kyle huffs and smacks Josh on the back of the head. "Don't you listen?"

"He never listens to us," Dustin interjects, laughing softly as he comes forward, holding out a finger to Isaac. "What's up, baby?"

Snorting, Kendall shakes his head and chuckles, looking down at Isaac. "His name is Isaac, not 'baby'."

"Oops." Another laugh comes from deep in Dustin's chest and he looks up at Kendall, grinning. "Something smells good," he comments, and Kendall just nods his head slowly, tilting it toward the kitchen. "You guys go ahead, I'm going to talk to Kendall for a minute."

Their friends look between them and blink, shrugging as they head to the kitchen with Josh leading the way. Once they're gone, Kendall moves to the couch and sits down on the edge, stretching his legs out underneath the coffee table as he leans back, situating Isaac so that he's laying against his chest. He nods to the spot next to him and smiles at Dustin, rubbing a hand along the baby's back slowly, humming softly.

"So," he says, letting his eyes close as he continues humming, listening to Isaac's slow breathing.

Dustin sits down and rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "So," he parrots, chuckling softly. "You look good with a baby; makes you look like a dad."

"Thanks." Kendall laughs softly and opens his eyes, looking at Dustin. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Smiling, Dustin lifts a hand and touches Isaac's cheek softly. "He's adorable," he murmurs.

Nodding, Kendall smiles and looks down, watching Dustin's finger. "He's the cutest."

"So, Carlos is here?" Dustin asks, flicking his gaze to Kendall, who nods slowly. "And he knows I'm coming?"

"Mhm. And he's okay with that."

They go silent for a while and Kendall sighs, lifting a hand to touch Dustin's cheek lightly, fingertips scraping along his beard. He smiles when his friend does and brushes the pad of his thumb along Dustin's lower lip, sighing again. When he drops his hand, Kendall supports Isaac's back and head as he gets off the couch with a groan, making a 'shh' noise when Isaac starts to whimper and cry.

"It's okay, buddy," he whispers, kissing the side of Isaac's head. "We're gonna go in the kitchen and I'll give you back to mommy so she can feed you, okay? I know you're probably hungry."

"You're going to be a good dad one day." Dustin smiles and stands up, leaning in to kiss Kendall's cheek softly. "Carlos is lucky to have you," he whispers, giving Kendall's hip a squeeze before turning to head into the kitchen, running a hand through his hair the entire way.

When Dustin disappears into the kitchen, Kendall swallows thickly and clenches his eyes shut, rocking Isaac slowly as he tries to calm himself down and prepare himself for Dustin and Carlos meeting. After a moment, he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes again, moving toward the kitchen with Isaac against his chest, who's crying even more now. He goes over to Camille and holds the baby out to her, smiling softly when she takes him, mouthing 'sorry I made him cry' before going to help his mom at the counter.

Everyone is sitting at the table and Kendall looks over his shoulder, swallowing when he sees Dustin sitting between Logan and Carlos, the three of them talking and laughing together. He breathes a sigh of relief and smiles, turning back to cut the bread as he listens to the conversations that are going on with his friends and family. Well, Kendall doesn't consider any of them to be his friends anymore; they're all family in their own way and the thought makes him smile.

**x x**

Dinner passes without drama and everyone is ushered into the living room for dessert and coffee. The conversation is light and mostly centers around the band and stories from the road. When they're done eating, Dustin tells everyone a story about Kendall getting hit in the face with a bra in Arkansas and Kendall turns bright right when everyone laughs at it, hiding his face against Carlos' shoulder. The stories keep coming until it gets late and Camille says that she needs to get Isaac home; Kendall helps her take him out to the car and kisses her cheek, then Logan's. He promises to see them later and watches them leave, waving at them before heading back inside.

"Well," Jennifer sighs, yawning quietly. "I think I'm going to call it a night."

Kendall hugs her and kisses her cheek. "We'll keep it down, I promise."

"You better; I have a shift starting at four AM," she mumbles, patting his cheek softly before turning to the other boys. "Goodnight. It was nice meeting you three."

"Goodnight Mrs. Knight," Josh, Kyle, and Dustin say in unison, which makes them all laugh.

Jennifer rolls her eyes and heads upstairs, waving until she disappears. Once she's gone, Kendall nods his head to the kitchen and mouths 'outside' before heading to the backdoor, grinning when his friends join him. He opens the door and steps outside, running a hand through his hair as he turns around to walk to a cluster of lawn chairs, dropping into one with a heavy sigh. Carlos comes over and sits on the grass in front of him, leaning back to rest his head against Kendall's knees.

"Anybody want a smoke?" Dustin takes a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and waves it around.

Carlos holds a hand up and snatches the pack away, taking two out. "Got a lighter?"

"I've got one," Kendall mumbles, shifting to the side as he shoves a hand into the front pocket of his jeans, rummaging around until his fingers wrap around his Zippo. He pulls it out and hands it to Carlos, straightening up as he spreads his legs a little, laughing when Carlos falls between them, his head falling right on Kendall's crotch. "Sorry."

"Sure you are," Carlos grumbles, scooting back so that he's sitting between Kendall's legs. He laughs softly and puts both cigarettes between his lip, flipping the top of the Zippo open before igniting it, lighting the ends quickly before handing one to Kendall, along with the lighter.

Pouting slightly, Kendall takes the lighter and the cigarette, placing the filter between his lips before taking a long drag. "I am sorry," he says, blowing smoke out as he lays the Zippo on the arm of the chair and drops a hand to the top of Carlos' head, fingers dragging through his hair.

"Could you two stop being so vomit-inducing?" Josh grumbles, dropping into a chair near Kendall, crossing his legs at the ankles. "That was a nice dinner, by the way. Your family is awesome," he says, turning to grin at his band mate.

"Thanks." Smirking, Kendall puts the cigarette between his lips again and takes an even longer drag, tipping his head back against the chair, pulling the filter away from his mouth as smoke pours from between his parted lips. The gray contrasts against the dark blue of the sky and Kendall sighs happily, smiling broadly when Carlos' hand slides into his own and he laces their fingers together, giving them a light squeeze.

Dustin snorts and sits between Kyle and Kendall. "You two really are sickeningly cute," he mutters, taking the lighter from Kendall.

"It's not my fault!" Carlos laughs and flicks his ashes onto the ground as he tilts his head back against Kendall's thigh. "So, two more days here, huh?"

The band grumbles together and Kendall laughs, tapping his thumb against the butt of his cigarette. "Yep, two more days and then you'll all be rid of me for another couple of months."

"I don't want that."

"Aw," Kendall says as he leans forward and bends over, kissing Carlos upside down. "I'd bring you with me if I could smuggle you in my luggage."

Carlos wrinkles his nose and bites the tip of Kendall's before he pulls back, laughing. "I'll wait for you here, don't worry," he mutters.

When they ease apart and Kendall leans back against his chair, he turns to watch Josh making vomiting motions and he even goes as far to make the noises. They all laugh at him until he's done and Kendall shakes his head, flicking his ashes onto the grass before bringing the cigarette back to his lips, taking a long drag. He pulls the filter away after a moment and parts his lips, tipping his head back against the chair as he stares at the stars above them, listening to the idle conversation going on around him. A smile creeps over his face and he closes his eyes slowly, glad that his friends are getting along with Carlos and that the night went so well.

"You asleep on us, Kendall?" Dustin smacks his chest and Kendall coughs, rubbing at the spot where he was smacked. "Guess not."

Grumbling quietly to himself, Kendall straightens up and flicks his ashes again. "I was just enjoying the peacefulness," he mutters, turning to stick his tongue out at Dustin, who mimics him. "So, what are you guys going to do tomorrow?"

"Josh and I are going to check out the Mall of America," Kyle answers, shrugging as he scoots forward, sitting on the edge of his chair.

"Been there, done that." Kendall grins and brings his cigarette back up, sucking in deeply before pulling it away. "But you two will have fun; the tourists always do," he mutters as smoke escapes, the grin on his face widening.

Kyle rolls his eyes and flips Kendall off. "I was going to say we should probably get going," he says, turning to look at Josh. "Or do you wanna stay and watch these two assholes," he motions to Kendall and Carlos, "being cute and shit?"

"I dunno, they're kind of adorable together." Winking, Josh crosses his arms over his chest and sighs, rolling his head back and forth to crack his neck, groaning quietly. "But I guess we can go because I know you're probably exhausted."

"Why? You didn't do anything!" Dustin taps the pad of his thumb against his cigarette and smirks when Kyle flips him off too. "I mean, you ate all fucking day long and you two went to a few bars, but that's about it."

A snort comes from Josh and he kicks the ground, laughing quietly. "He likes to be in bed by ten on the nights we don't have shows."

"I like to sleep, is that such a bad thing!" Kyle sighs and pushes himself to his feet before going over to Kendall, holding his hand out. "Guess we'll see you tomorrow or the next day, huh?"

"Definitely the next day," Kendall answers, laughing as he slaps Kyle's hand and slides their fingers together, before curling them slightly. He drops his hand and idly plays with Carlos' ear, flicking the earring lightly. "I hope you guys enjoy the Mall and how fucking crowded it is."

"We will," his friend says, laughing as he claps a hand on Carlos' shoulder. "It was nice to meet you, man."

Carlos looks up and smiles, holding his hand out to Kyle; they do the slapping gesture before dropping their hands. "You too."

"Hey, Kendall?" Josh asks, rocking back and forth on his heels, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"What's up, man?"

His friend bites at his lip and shrugs a shoulder, giving a soft smile. "You think we could talk for a minute? It won't be long, I promise."

"Sure," Kendall answers with a smile, standing carefully so that he doesn't step on Carlos. He turns once he's up and away, smiling down at Carlos when he sees that he's unharmed. "Keep my seat warm for me."

"Will do." Laughing softly, Carlos pushes himself up and slides onto the chair, leaning back as he puts his cigarette between his lips, grinning around it.

The sight makes Kendall's heart jump and he smiles back, rolling his eyes playfully before turning to walk around the house with Josh. He finishes his cigarette on the way and drops it onto the driveway, grinding it out with the heel of his shoe, shoving his hands into his pockets when his friend stops suddenly. Kendall raises an eyebrow and watches Josh turn to him, a soft smile on his face and his hand working through his hair slowly, pulling his bangs out of his eyes.

"So, you and Dustin are over now?"

Kendall nods his head and swallows hard, looking down at the ground. "Yeah, guess so. It was for the best, you know," he mutters, shrugging as he pulls his gaze up and locks eyes with Josh, forehead furrowing at the expression on his friend's face. Josh looks too happy about their breakup.

"And you and Carlos...?" Kendall nods in response and bites the edge of his lip, tugging the skin with his one of his canines. "You two look stupidly happy with one another and I never saw that with Dustin," Josh says, scratching the back of his neck.

"You're not, like, angry that I broke Dustin's heart?"

Josh snorts and shakes his head, scrunching his nose slightly. "No, he's an asshole and he kind of deserved it. I mean, I've watched you guys from day one and what you two had? Doesn't even hold a candle to how happy and carefree you are with Carlos. I mean, I knew you loved the guy whenever you talked about him and those songs... I just - I'm glad you're happy."

"Thanks, man." Kendall smiles and comes forward, wrapping his arms around Josh, hugging him tightly. "I'm glad I'm happy too and... Carlos is the one, you know? The one I want to marry and get old with; the person I want to be mine for the rest of my life. I mean, I'm willing to give up my career for him - or at least put it on hold - because I love him that fucking much."

"So, you're quitting the band?" Josh arches an eyebrow when they ease apart and he looks upset.

Blinking, Kendall shakes his head and slaps Josh on the arm. "No, of course not! I'm just going to take a little break to come back and spend some time with Carlos because we need it. I also need to spend time with Isaac before he gets too big and I miss every milestone in his young life," he answers, grinning as he drops his hand, hooking his thumb in one of his belt loops.

"Oh, good." Relief washes over Josh's face and he laughs, scratching the side of his neck. "We were going to buy him something tomorrow, at the Mall, because... well, it's Kyle's idea. He says because you're family to us and that means Isaac is too - by association or something."

"That's awesome," Kendall mutters, trying his best not to smile too much. "You two are so great."

Josh rolls his eyes and bumps his shoulder against Kendall's. "We'll see you later, alright? Go have fun with Dust and Carlos," he says and Kendall nods slowly, watching his friend go to the car. When Josh is inside the car, Kendall waves to him and Kyle, watching them back out of the driveway before disappearing down the street.

Once his friends are gone, Kendall heads to the backyard to find Carlos and Dustin talking and laughing at something that one of them said. They fall silent when he comes closer and he raises a brow, going to sit on his boyfriend's lap, despite his protests. He leans back against Carlos' chest and squishes him a bit, laughing when he eases away, turning on his lap to look down at the other man, scrunching his face up.

"So what did Josh want?" Carlos slides his arms around Kendall's waist and rests his chin on his shoulder, smiling.

"Just wanted to talk about how stupidly adorable we are," he answers, leaning in to kiss the bridge of Carlos' nose. "What were  _you two_  talking about before I came back here?"

Dustin snickers and the chair creaks when he scoots back. "Carlos was telling me about how awkward you were when you two first met," he answers, folding his hands behind his head as he looks at Carlos and Kendall with a grin.

"I wasn't awkward when we met," Kendall mumbles, brushing his lips along Carlos' forehead. "Was I?"

"That first night, kinda."

Pouting, Kendall pulls away and crosses his arms over his chest. "Now I know how you really feel about me."

"He thought it was cute," Dustin says, making air quotes when he says 'cute.'

"Of course I did." Grinning, Carlos leans up and kisses Kendall's jaw, nuzzling him lightly. "We were also talking about how amazing you are."

Kendall scoffs and closes his eyes, leaning into Carlos a little. "Sure, sure," he mutters playfully, grinning. "You guys wanna go in and drink?"

"What do you have?" Dustin raises his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side.

"Whiskey and vodka, but I could probably find something else. My mom's probably got something hidden."

Pursing his lips, Dustin nods and stands up, clapping his hands together. "Come on, let's get drunk!"

"Are you sure? You don't have anything to do tomorrow, right?" Carlos asks, turning his head so that his cheek is pressed against Kendall's shoulder.

"Hell no. I'm going to get drunk, fall asleep on the couch, and mooch off you two tomorrow."

"Oh no you're not," Kendall mumbles, pulling away from Carlos. "You can sleep on the couch but once you're up, you're out. I'm going to take Carlos out tomorrow and _you_  are not coming."

Dustin pouts and bats his eyelashes at Kendall. "That's mean," he whispers, like he's actually upset.

"And it's true. I wanna go out with Carlos and you're not allowed to come. Hang out with us tonight? Sure. Crash on my mama's couch? Yeah, why not? I don't want you stumbling into the hotel drunk and end up in bed with some crazy woman."

"Wow," Dustin breathes, shaking his head. "You have an overactive imagination."

That makes Kendall laugh and he shakes his head, turning to hold his hands out to Carlos. "Come on, let's get Dustin drunk and you'll finally see what I've been living with for two years."

"I'm scared; should I be scared?" Carlos asks, raising an eyebrow as he slides his hands into Kendall's and stands. "I mean, drunk people are funny but I imagine that Dustin is just a weird one.."

"He likes to get naked when he's drunk," Kendall says, laughing when Dustin makes a protesting noise before gasping and saying 'do not.' "Yes you do! You just don't remember because you're so fucking hammered and, honestly, we don't want you to remember so we would always put you in the least amount of clothing we could before you passed out."

Making a face, Dustin throws his hands in the air and turns to go inside. "I'm going to get a drink," he announces.

**x x**

After demolishing two bottles of liquor between the three of them in just over an hour, the boys sprawl out on the basement floor with one another while Dustin retells stories from the road, slurring almost every word. Their limbs are tangled together and Kendall is sandwiched between Dustin and Carlos, faintly aware of the way they're both breathing against his neck whenever they laugh. He just laughs along with them and yelps quietly when he feels a hand slide up the inside of his leg, cupping the front of his jeans tightly.

The hand on his crotch starts moving and Kendall cants his hips, moaning low in the back of his throat as he closes his eyes. He doesn't know whose hand it belongs to and, honestly, he doesn't care at this point because the way those fingers are squeezing his cock feels amazing. A shudder passes through him and Kendall continues to lift his hips, letting out a disappointed noise when the hand moves away. His body falls back onto the floor and he opens his eyes, turning to look at both men laying beside him, biting his lip when he sees Carlos grinning.

"What's the grin for?"

Carlos shrugs and puts his hand on Kendall's jeans again, popping the button. "Because," he answers, grinning more.

"Hey," Dustin whines, pouting as he pushes himself up onto one of his elbows. "How come you're th - the only one that gets to touch?"

"Never said you couldn't," Kendall answers, licking his lips as he looks at Dustin, lifting a hand to take his glasses off. "Gonna break these, so I'll put them over there for right here. I mean, now." Giggling quietly, Kendall folds them up and leans over to lay them on the floor away from them, groaning quietly as he lays back between Carlos and Dustin.

Dustin bites his lip and moves his hand underneath Kendall's shirt, hand pressing against his lower abdomen. "Okay," he mutters, before leaning down to kiss the side of Kendall's neck, biting it gently. He nips the skin and laves over the bite, rubbing his hand up the middle of his friend's chest until he reaches his nipples.

When Kendall feels Dustin's fingers on his nipples, he arches his back and presses his crotch against Carlos' hand, moaning softly when he starts rubbing his cock through the denim on his jeans. It's almost too much for Kendall to handle with the way Dustin is biting and licking his neck, sucking on it lightly before moving down, his stubble scraping along Kendall's jaw and how Carlos' hand is snaking down the front of his jeans, fingertips pressing against the underside of his cock.

"Fuck," he breathes, turning his head to pant against the shell of Dustin's ear, whimpering softly when Carlos squeezes his cock through his boxers. His cock is already hard and he bucks his hips forward, biting the spot just above Dustin's earlobe, and lets out another disappointing noise when Carlos' hand disappears. Huffing quietly, Kendall pulls back and looks down, biting the inside of his cheek when he sees Carlos straddling his knees with a grin on his face and both hands on his hips, thumbs hooked into his belt loops.

"You alright, baby?" Carlos' voice is low and he's only half-slurring his words as he tugs Kendall's jeans down slowly, keeping their eyes locked.

Kendall nods his head and swallows, lifting his hips to help Carlos get the denim off. "Yeah, I'm fuckin' great," he says, laughing drunkenly as he falls back onto the blanket, worrying his lower lip between his teeth when Dustin goes back to kissing and sucking on his neck. "Yeah, fucking amazing."

A chuckle vibrates against Kendall's jaw and he turns his head, exposing his neck to Dustin. "You are," he whispers.

"I am what?" Kendall asks, breathless.

"Amazing," is the reply Kendall gets before Dustin goes up to bite his earlobe, tugging it between his teeth before sucking on it. It makes Kendall squirm and he kicks his jeans away once Carlos has them down to his ankles. Once the denim is gone, Kendall spreads his legs and gasps, feeling sharp teeth sink into the hinge of his jaw.

Carlos slides his hands up the outside of Kendall's thigh and curls his fingers underneath the waistband of his boxers. "Gonna make you feel so good, baby," he whispers and Kendall gasps when he hears that, shivering as the soft cotton slides down his legs. His underwear gets kicked to the side once it's off and he spreads his legs slowly, feeling Carlos' hands on the inside of his thighs, blunt nails dragging along his skin.

No one talks for a while after that; Carlos just keeps stroking Kendall's thighs and Dustin pulls away from his ear and neck just long enough to pull his shirt off. It gets tossed in the corner and Kendall's left lying naked between his ex and current boyfriend, their hands roaming over his body slowly, touching him in places they've both explored dozens of times. He's still not sure if he should be okay with this, Carlos and Dustin sharing him, but his cock is hard and he just wants to get off. Plus, it doesn't hurt that he's being touched - and kissed and sucked on and bitten; god, Dustin's teeth feel amazing - by two gorgeous men who just so happen to want him as badly as he wants them - or so he hopes.

After a while, Carlos leans down and kisses Kendall's stomach before sitting up and Kendall watches him, anxious. He staggers to his feet and undoes his jeans quickly, tugging them down his legs before kicking them to the side, giving his boyfriend a smirk as he goes to pull his shirt up and off. The fabric gets thrown over his shoulder just seconds before Carlos slides his hands down his stomach slowly, dropping them to his briefs. He grins more and hooks a thumb under the waistband, running it along the front before snapping it against his hips, teasing Kendall.

"Come  _on_ ," Kendall huffs, moving a hand to his cock, wrapping his fingers around the base. He strokes up slowly and bites his lip when Carlos pulls his briefs down his legs, kicking them off to the side and Kendall forgets everything when he sees his boyfriend's cock. Of course, he's always known that Carlos was gorgeous - both clothed and naked - but that doesn't stop Kendall from feeling like he's seeing him naked for the first time when, in reality, it's probably up near a hundred.

Licking his lips, Carlos kneels between Kendall's legs and pushes his hand away. "I didn't say you could do that," he says and, fuck, his voice is rough and low, making Kendall's cock throb like it wasn't hard enough before.

"Sorry," Kendall murmurs, biting at his lip as he looks at Carlos, smiling softly. "Can I touch you, then?"

"Not right now." Humming, Carlos turns to Dustin and moves both hands to the front of his jeans, undoing them quickly. "Gotta get Dustin naked first and then you can touch both of us, okay?"

Kendall growls and lays his head back, bending an arm behind it as he watches Carlos tug at Dustin's clothes. It's an amazing sight and Kendall's cock is throbbing and just aching to be touched, but he keeps his hands where they are and keeps staring at what's going on in front of him. When Dustin's shirt comes off and Carlos tosses it across the room, Kendall swallows thickly and lifts his hips, looking for friction and whimpering when he doesn't find anything but air.

"Shit." Carlos bites down on his lip and drags his hands down Dustin's shoulders, stopping just above his chest as he turns to Kendall. "I can touch him, right? You're okay with that?"

"Yeah," he replies, breathless again, as he nods his head in earnest. "Go ahead."

A smile flashes across Carlos' face and he turns back to Dustin, dragging both hands down his chest, fingers tangling in his chest hair. Kendall watches and thinks, dimly, that he shouldn't be turned on by watching Carlos touch Dustin like he is and that, maybe, he shouldn't be okay with it at all... but he's not thinking with his brain; his cock is doing all the thinking and it's more than okay with what's going on right now.

Then Carlos is kissing Dustin and, holy shit, Kendall's world just collapsed and he's struggling to breathe.

Carlos and Dustin pull away when Kendall makes a noise that sounds like a choked-off sob, both of them raising their eyebrows slightly. When he waves at them and mouths 'I'm alright,' they go back to kissing - and who knew watching his ex kiss his boyfriend would be so fucking hot? Not Kendall, of course, and he just stares at them, watching the way Carlos curls a hand around the nape of Dustin's neck to pull him closer, the other hand disappearing down the front of his jeans.

Biting down hard on his lower lip, Kendall whimpers around it and moves a hand down to his cock, fingertips just barely brushing over the head before he drags them down the shaft. He releases his lip and moans, wrapping his fingers around the base before stroking up quickly, listening to the sounds of Carlos and Dustin kissing; the slight moans coming from both of them, the noisy slide of their lips coming together, and the way Dustin hums against the other man's mouth. It all goes to Kendall's cock and he feels like he could come at any moment.

"Carlos," he gasps, squeezing just under the head before stroking down, clenching his eyes shut. The sounds stop and Kendall feels a hand on his wrist, fingertips stroking just beneath his tattoo and his mind is embarrassingly slow at registering who that touch belongs to. He still doesn't have it figured out when he feels a pair of lips against his skin, kissing just below his navel, and he whimpers both Dustin and Carlos' names quietly, moving his hand from behind his head to reach out.

When Kendall reaches the head that's hovering over his stomach, he immediately recognizes it as Carlos and he whimpers, rolling his hips forward to tell Carlos to go lower. Except Carlos doesn't listen and he keeps his mouth where it is, just sucking and biting at Kendall's navel, tongue laving over his skin slowly and it's almost unbearable for Kendall. He whimpers, writhes, and cants his hips until he feels a strong hand holding him down and he knows that it's Dustin because he can feel Carlos' hands on his wrist and thigh, stroking both slowly.

"Shh," Dustin whispers, leaning down to kiss across Kendall's chest, thumbs brushing over the sharp cut of his hips. "You're okay."

Kendall huffs and moves his other hand up, burying his fingers in Dustin's hair. "I feel... fuck, I feel like - like I'm going to fucking explode," he gasps.

"You're not going to... _yet_." Chuckling, Dustin bites at Kendall's collarbone and moves up to kiss him when he curses loudly, swallowing all of his noises.

"Mmm," Carlos hums against his boyfriend's stomach before pulling away to watch Dustin. "You want me to fuck you, baby? Wanna show Dustin how well you can take my cock and - and how badly you want it?"

Shuddering, Kendall lifts his hips and gives Dustin's hair a tug, letting his other hand drop to his thigh. "Yeah," he rasps, licking his - suddenly dry - lips over and over, keeping his eyes shut as teeth scrape along his collarbone again and,  _fuck_ , why didn't Dustin use this much teeth when they were together?!

"Alright, but you have to get on your knees." The words are meant to be firm but Carlos speaks them softly, dragging his fingertips along the outside of Kendall's legs again, occasionally hooking them under his knees. He pulls back when Dustin does and they watch Kendall roll over onto his stomach before pushing himself up onto his hands and knees, ass on perfect display to both of them. "Good boy," Carlos mutters, running his fingertips down the middle of Kendall's back, smirking when he sucks in a deep breath and shivers.

Beside them, Dustin pulls his jeans and boxers off, throwing them onto the bed before sitting on his knees, watching as Carlos' fingers slide down toward Kendall's ass. They spread him apart and press against his entrance, giving an experimental rub as he lifts the other hand to his lips, sucking them into his mouth with a moan that rivals any that Dustin has heard in porn. He watches Carlos suck on his fingers and lets his mouth drop for a moment before he snaps his lips together, running a hand over Kendall's shoulders, nails digging into his skin.

When Carlos finally pulls his fingers out of his mouth, he swaps the dry ones for the wet ones and presses them into Kendall slowly, stroking the back of his thigh with the other hand. He whispers things ("so good, baby"; "been so long since I've fucked you"; "feels so tight around my fingers,  _god_ ") and pushes the digits in all the way, stilling them when Kendall lets out a whimper of pain and Carlos realizes that it's been a while since he's done this and that shouldn't make him smile, but it does.

"It's okay baby," he whispers as he leans down to plant a kiss at the base of Kendall's spine, breathing softly against it. When the noises go from painful to half-way pleasurable, Carlos starts working his fingers in and out, kissing his boyfriend's skin as he does, letting his lips brush along his lower back slowly.

Dustin groans beside them and moves around so he's kneeling in front of Kendall. "You look so hot like this," he whispers, sitting back on his heels as he lifts his hands to cup either side of his friend's face, thumb brushing along his lower lip slowly. The rough, calloused pad of his thumb drags across Kendall's lower lip and pulls it to the side slightly before letting go, making both of them moan at the same time. He continues to trace the shape of the other man's mouth, just barely letting the tip of his thumb slide between his lips before pulling it out, listening to every moan that comes from Kendall's throat.

"You ready, Kendall?" Carlos asks, sliding his fingers in and out quickly, scissoring them as he drags them out. He listens to every broken noise - every single moan - and slides his teeth along his lower lip, crooking his fingertips slightly.

"Yeah I'm re -  _holy mother of Christ!_ " When Carlos bends his fingers, he touches Kendall's prostate and he cries out, clenching his eyes shut as he presses his forehead against Dustin's chest, panting heavily. He grips the blanket underneath him and moans both their names, alternating them between 'fuck' and 'oh God' as he pushes back against his boyfriend's hand. "Ready," he croaks, dropping his head until it touches Dustin's thigh.

Behind him, Carlos smiles and pulls his fingers out, liberally spitting on his palm, wishing they had lube instead. He shrugs and strokes it onto his cock, getting it as wet as he can before lining the head up with Kendall's entrance, just barely pushing in. The heat is insane and Kendall is tighter than Carlos remembered; it makes him moan and dig his fingertips into his boyfriend's hips, dragging them down slowly. Once the head is inside, Carlos stays still and just barely rocks his hips forward, sliding another inch inside Kendall with a loud gasp.

"Fuck," Dustin breathes and he watches the way Carlos' hips move, another inch of his length disappearing. "I thought it was hot fucking him but watching you do it? That - that's fucking sexy."

Kendall groans and moves a hand to Dustin's thigh, gripping it tightly. When he feels like he won't fall over, he slides the other one to the opposite leg and pulls himself up a bit, lifting his head until his lips are brushing across Dustin's. He breathes against them and takes in the lingering taste of alcohol on his mouth, licking his lips before pressing them against his friend's for what may be the last time ever. Kissing Dustin is different like this and he moans loudly, fingernails digging into the other man's skin as Carlos drives his cock into Kendall, hips pressed tightly against his ass as he pants harshly.

All three of them moan together and Kendall pulls away from the kiss with a gasp, dropping his head until his forehead is touching the side of Dustin's neck, his breath falling against it. He whimpers when Carlos pulls out and hisses loudly when he pushes back in, the hand on his hip going to his back, fingers smoothing over his skin in an attempt to calm him down. It almost works until Carlos starts to pull out completely and Kendall shifts to bite down on Dustin's shoulder when his boyfriend slams into him. That familiar burn comes along and it doesn't fade until Carlos pulls out for the fifth time, leaving just the head of his cock inside of Kendall, and then it becomes a dull ache; something manageable.

"Holy - ah, ah..." Carlos huffs and moves a hand to press between Kendall's shoulders, fingertips digging into his skin. "Feel so fucking tight around me, god, Kendall," he moans as he starts thrusting in and out quickly, the sound of his hips slapping against Kendall's ass soon filling the air.

While Carlos fucks Kendall, Dustin smooths a hand over the back of his neck and leans down to whisper in his ear: "Suck my cock."

That pulls a groan from Kendall and he drops down onto his elbows, putting one arm on either side of Dustin's legs. He takes a deep breath and licks the head of his friend's cock slowly, tonguing the slit for a second before sliding down the side of the shaft. When Kendall reaches the base, he moves down to lick a broad stripe across Dustin's balls before moving up again, licking along the underside of his cock before taking the head between his lips, sucking slowly. It's hard to suck cock while he's being fucked but Kendall does the best he can; he sucks slowly and takes half of Dustin's length into his mouth before pulling back, moaning loudly when Carlos slams into him.

"Litos... fuck, harder." The words come out hushed but Carlos seems to hear him because, once Kendall says that, he starts to fuck him harder, hips jabbing against his ass so hard that he gets pushed into Dustin. He moans loudly and goes to suck the cock in front of him again, feeling Dustin's fingers in his hair, gripping the roots before he gives them a tug to let Kendall know that he's doing good. Humming around the cock in his mouth, Kendall pushes back against Carlos as much as he can and twists the blanket in his hands, his own cock throbbing between his legs.

Dustin tips his head back and closes his eyes, letting out loud moans as he thrusts his hips toward Kendall's face. "Fuck, yeah... just - oh  _god_  - like that, Kendall," he babbles, dragging his hand through Kendall's hair, scratching his scalp lightly.

"Wan - want me to stroke you, b-baby?" Carlos stutters a bit as he keeps fucking Kendall, moving a hand around to touch his stomach, dropping it lower when he hears his boyfriend's muffled moan. He swallows hard and drags his fingertips along the head of Kendall's cock, feeling how wet it is from precome and that makes him thrust harder into the other man, his fingers sliding down until he reaches the base. "God, gonna come soon," he groans, wrapping his hand around Kendall's cock.

The second Carlos' hand is on him, Kendall moans loudly around Dustin's cock and he squeezes his eyes shut, pushing back against his boyfriend before thrusting his hips forward, trying to get more friction. He whimpers when Carlos starts to stroke him and he sucks Dustin's cock as hard as he can, cheeks hollowing out as he slides off before going back down, body shaking from everything that's going on around him.

"Gonna - " Dustin groans but he can't get the words out. He comes without a warning and grunts, cupping the back of Kendall's head as he continues working his hips forward, his breaths coming in harsh pants with Kendall's name accompanying them. When he gets done coming, Dustin lets Kendall pull away and he sits back with a huff, running his fingers through the other boy's hair, smiling lazily.

Kendall swallows everything and licks his lips, blinking to look up at Dustin before dropping his head toward the floor, moaning loudly when Carlos fucks him harder and strokes him in time with his thrusts. His orgasm comes on quickly and his entire body shakes when it hits, Carlos and Dustin's names flying from his mouth as he shudders, coming all over the blanket underneath him. A few whimpers escape and Kendall moves his hands to his hair, tugging at it as he comes down from his orgasm, his elbows and knees threatening to give out on him at any moment.

The fucking continues through Kendall's orgasm and Carlos doesn't let up until he feels his own coming along. When it gets close, his balls tighten and his body tenses as he thrusts into his boyfriend one last time, groaning loudly as he comes. He rakes his nails down the middle of Kendall's spine and then wraps both hands around the other man's hips, holding him tightly until his orgasm subsides. The second it does, Carlos pulls out and falls back onto his heels, watching as Kendall collapses on the edge of the blanket, curling up on himself.

Ten minutes pass and no one says anything; they all pant and groan, looking at one another quietly.

"So," Carlos says, breaking the silence, "that just happened."

Laying down on the floor, Dustin gives a meek laugh and swallows. "Yeah," he agrees, voice ragged.

"You okay, Kendall?" As he speaks, Carlos moves over and sits behind his boyfriend, touching his back lightly.

"Mmm what d'ya want? M'trynna sleep here," Kendall mumbles, turning over onto his back with a hiss.

Carlos laughs and leans down to kiss his shoulder. "At least wait until you're in bed to go to sleep," he whispers.

"Don' wan'to, Litos."

"Come on, big boy." Dustin sits up and then gets to his feet, walking over to where Kendall is laying. He leans down and puts a hand underneath each of his arms before lifting him to his feet, both of them staggering a bit before Dustin finds his footing.

Grumbling, Kendall wraps his arms around Dustin's neck and nuzzles him. "Sleep?"

"Yeah," Carlos answers, standing up to help Dustin take Kendall to the bed. "We can go to sleep now."

When they finally get Kendall to bed and underneath the remaining covers, Carlos goes to roll the blanket up and takes it to the corner, stumbling a few times on the way there and back. He watches Dustin get dressed and yawns loudly, pointing to the basement door before making a locking motion with his fingers, doing it a few more times until the other man gets the idea. As Dustin goes to lock the door, Carlos climbs into bed with Kendall and he takes the spot near the wall, pulling his boyfriend close underneath the blanket.

Dustin comes back and takes his jeans off again, kicking them to the side before climbing into bed with Carlos and Kendall. They both wrap their arms around him and sigh contentedly, closing their eyes after telling each other goodnight. As they settle in to go to sleep, Kendall snuggles down between the two of them and nuzzles against Carlos' chest, sighing softly in his sleep.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: semi-awkward after morning breakfast, some light biting, some feels but not bad ones, cuteness!, also more feels.]

The bed is empty when Kendall wakes up and he frowns, touching the ruffled sheets beside him, wondering where Carlos could be. He sighs and shifts slightly on the mattress, whimpering loudly at the pain that comes from his ass and Kendall doesn't need to sort through the fuzzy memories of the night before to know that he got fucked because, in addition to the pain in his backside, his knees are sore and he just  _feels_  like he got fucked. The thought makes him smile and he sighs, bringing both hands up to his face, scrubbing them down before pressing his fingertips against his eyes, groaning quietly.

After another moment, Kendall gets out of bed carefully and pulls his briefs on, hissing as he moves in a way that makes a pain shoot through him. He makes a mental note to take a few aspirin when he finally makes it upstairs and sighs, wondering how he's going to tackle that with the kind of pain he's having. It doesn't take him long to realize that all he needs to do is go slow and that's what he does; it takes him ten minutes to go up the basement stairs and he goes into the kitchen, breathing in deeply. When the smell of coffee hits his nostrils, Kendall moans and shuts the door behind him before going to sit at the table, watching Carlos at the counter.

"Hey," he rasps, making a face at the sound of his own voice and the way his throat hurts when he speaks. "Can I have painkillers with my breakfast?"

Carlos laughs and turns around, nodding slowly. "Of course," he says, giving Kendall a smile before going to the fridge, grabbing the bottle of orange juice. After shutting the door with his hip, Carlos goes to grab two glasses from the cabinet and takes them to the table, setting one in front of Kendall before pouring juice into it. "In pain?"

"That's an understatement." Huffing, Kendall grabs the glass and downs half of it in one gulp, setting it down again. "Please tell me you remember something from last night because I think I drank a little too much and my mind's all..." he trails off and lifts a hand to the side of his head, moving his fingers in a slow circle beside his temple.

"I only remember bits and pieces," Carlos says, shrugging as he goes to grab a bottle of aspirin off the counter before taking it over to Kendall, giving him a soft smile. "I do know that you and I had sex and I'm pretty sure it was awesome."

Kendall huffs and twists the cap around, pushing his thumb against the arrow to pop the cap off. "Pretty sure it was awesome? Baby, my ass is sore and it hasn't been in a long, long time."

"Schwing." Laughing, Carlos goes back to the stove and shuts the burner off, pulling the pan off the heat. He slides the omelette onto a plate and grabs it, along with two forks, before taking it over to the table. "Do you want a cup of coffee?"

"Please," Kendall says and smiles at Carlos before popping two pills into his mouth, washing them down with orange juice. "Is Dustin still here?"

Humming softly, Carlos goes to the counter and grabs a cup, setting it down before pouring coffee into it. "He's in the shower right now," he answers, turning on his heel with Kendall's coffee in his hand and a smile on his face. "He said he'll leave once he eats and washes the feeling of death away."

"Good ol' Dust." A weak chuckle escapes and Kendall winces slightly, holding his hand out for the coffee.

"Don't you usually drink it with sugar, creamer, and milk in it?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers, rolling a shoulder as Carlos hands the cup to him, "but today I want it black."

Carlos raises a brow and shrugs, dropping into the seat next to Kendall. "Hope you don't mind a cheese omelette."

"I'd eat just about anything right now." Smiling, Kendall sets his coffee down and grabs one of the forks, cutting into the side of the omelette that's closest to him before putting the bite in his mouth. He chews happily and washes it down with a sip of coffee, hissing at the temperature. "Jesus, that's like the fiery lava of Hell," he complains and Carlos laughs at him.

"Let it cool before you drink it," he says, shaking his head as he takes a bite of food, smirking at Kendall. When he swallows, Carlos takes a sip of his juice and taps his fingers against the side of the glass. "So, last night was good, wasn't it?"

Nodding slowly and pushing another bite of food in his mouth, Kendall looks up at Carlos, smiling. "It was great," he answers, once he's swallowed. "I was afraid that it wouldn't be and that Dustin would be an asshole but he was good."

"Yeah, he was nice. I thought, maybe, he would be kind of a jerk to me about the whole 'ruining his relationship' thing but he said he was happy for us and that he always knew you weren't going to stay with him." Carlos purses his lips together for a second before taking another bite of eggs, chewing slowly as he watches Kendall, laughing when he pokes his bottom lip with the fork prongs.

They finish their breakfast quietly and Carlos does the dishes while Kendall sits at the table, reading the paper. He makes faces at the news section and flips it to the section where they announce the weddings and engagements; when he sees Jo in the engagement section, he makes a noise and starts to laugh, covering his mouth. In the picture, she's standing next to a tall, gorgeous guy and they're outside under a tree with his arm around her waist; it says that they're getting married soon and he makes a note to see her before he leaves.

When Dustin finally comes downstairs, Kendall is done with his cup of coffee and he's standing at the counter, pouring another. He doesn't notice his ex until he turns around to go back to the table, nearly dropping his coffee when he sees Dustin. A few drops of hot liquid splash out onto his hand and Kendall brings it up, sucking it off his skin as he goes to his seat, sitting down across from his band mate and ex-boyfriend.

"How was your night on the couch?" Kendall asks, arching a brow as he takes a long sip of coffee, making an 'ahh' sound when he pulls it away.

Dustin's forehead furrows and he shakes his head slowly. "I didn't sleep on the couch," he says, folding his hands on the table.

"Then where'd you sleep?"

"Well," Dustin starts, lifting a hand to scratch his jaw, chuckling nervously. "I woke up in bed with you two."

At that moment, Kendall takes a sip of coffee and chokes on it, setting the cup down as he coughs. "Wha - what?!"

"We were going to tell you," Carlos murmurs, coming over to the table with a cup of coffee for Dustin.

"So, why were we - ah - in bed together?" Even as he asks the question, Kendall knows the answer.

Chuckling again, Dustin grabs his coffee and takes a sip. "We had sex," he answers, licking his lips slowly. "Well, you and Carlos had sex. I was just an extra and the only thing I got was a blowjob so, I guess you can't say 'we all had sex with one another' because it's not really true."

"Oral sex is sex," Kendall deadpans, blinking at his friend, face expressionless. "Wow, we must have been really drunk if I can't remember that."

"You were exhausted and I don't think we were that drunk, not really." Shrugging, Carlos rests his elbows on the table and cradles his face in his hands, looking at Kendall with a soft smile.

Kendall huffs and sputters for a second, pursing his lips together. "And you were okay with that?"

"I was drunk," Carlos answers, the corner of his lips pulling up into a grin. "Besides, it's not like  _he_  fucked  _you_  or vice-versa; it was just a blowjob."

"And Carlos was with us," Dustin adds, nodding slowly as he takes a few gulps of his coffee. "I need to get going, probably, and I should give you two your space because this is your last full day together, right?"

Nodding slowly, Kendall rubs his lips together and looks at Dustin. "Yeah, it is," he answers, sighing softly. "Are you going to be okay going home by yourself? We could drive you back to the hotel, if you want."

"Nah," he answers, waving a hand dismissively. "I called a cab when I got out of the shower and they should be here... well, now."

"Alright, so I'll see you tomorrow?" Kendall asks, smiling at his friend when he nods his head. "What are you gonna do all day, anyway?"

Dustin shrugs and stands up, stretching a bit. "I dunno. I'm either going to sleep all day and go out tonight... or I'm going to go out today and then sleep all night, I'm not sure which sounds more appealing."

"Probably going out today and sleeping tonight. It's pretty boring around here."

"Then that's what I shall do." Laughing, Dustin moves around the table and ruffles Kendall's hair until he complains. "See you tomorrow," he says, giving Carlos a wave as he backs out of the kitchen and into the living room. They watch him carefully and wait until they hear the door shut behind him before looking at one another, both wearing the same confused expression.

Carlos sighs heavily and runs a hand over the back of his head. "You're not upset that we had a threesome, are you?"

"What - me, upset? Why would I be upset? I mean, I could be asking you the same thing."

"I'm not upset," Carlos answers, laughing quietly as he leans over the table to kiss Kendall softly. "I get to scratch that off my bucket list, finally."

Kendall raises a brow and kisses Carlos back, grinning against his lips. "Having a threesome was on your bucket list?"

"Hell yeah but, more specifically, 'have a threesome with two hot guys' was on there. So, it's totally crossed off now."

"You're ridiculous," Kendall mutters, laughing quietly as he stands up. "I'm sore and still exhausted from last night, so do you want to go lay down for a while before we go out? I promise I'll take you anywhere you want to go... so long as I get to rest for a while before hand."

Pulling his mouth up to one corner, Carlos hums and smiles, nodding slowly. "I'd love to lay down with you," he answers and stands quickly, holding a hand out to Kendall. "We can stay in bed all day, if you want."

"Nah. It's my last full day here and I have a lot of stuff I want to do." Slipping his hand into Carlos', Kendall smiles and squeezes it lightly. "I figure I'll take you out for most of the day, call Jo up and see if she wants to hang out, then spend some time with the Mitchell family," he says, shrugging.

"Then let's go downstairs and get you rested, huh?" Carlos smiles and leads Kendall to the door, pushing it open before starting down the stairs to the basement, giving his boyfriend's hand a squeeze when they step off the bottom stair. He drops his hand and goes over to tidy the bed up, putting the blankets back on and fluffing the pillows before climbing onto the mattress, holding his arms open for Kendall.

Seeing Carlos on his bed makes Kendall remember all the times they spent together, locked away in his room, doing nothing but kissing and having sex. It makes him smile when he realizes that there's a good chance that he'll have this for the rest of his life and that he'll get to wake up next to Carlos every single day. Shaking his head and chuckling quietly, Kendall goes over to the bed and crawls in next to Carlos, letting out a content sigh when his boyfriend's arms wrap around his middle, pulling him closer.

Their chests press together tightly and Kendall takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he buries his face against the side of Carlos' neck, slipping an arm around his waist. His hand slides up the thin fabric of the other man's t-shirt and Kendall presses his palm flat against the middle of Carlos' back, reveling in the warmth of his skin. Another sigh escapes and he brushes his nose along the hinge of his boyfriend's jaw, feeling the rough scrape of his stubble as their skin rubs together.

Carlos breathes in slowly and runs his hands along the curve of Kendall's spine, dragging them across his shoulders and back to the middle, pushing them back down the way they came. He continues to do this, shivering whenever he feels hot breath fall against his neck, turning his head to the side a little more, allowing Kendall to have more access to his throat. A gasp escapes when Kendall's lips brush down the side of his neck before ending up on his collarbone where he bites down, laving across the mark slowly, causing Carlos' nails to dig into his lower back.

"Thought you were supposed to be  _resting_ ," Carlos murmurs, dragging his fingers up the length of Kendall's spine.

Huffing, Kendall moves up and whispers in Carlos' ear, "I am resting."

"Mm, no you're not."

"Well I'm  _sorry_  that my boyfriend is sexy and I can't stop touching him." Kendall smiles and drags his lips along the shell of Carlos' ear, slowly moving down to the lobe before taking it between his teeth. He sucks on it and tugs the ring before releasing it, breathing softly against the slightly damp skin before pulling away. "I'm done now," he says, grinning.

Licking his lips, Carlos turns and opens his eyes to look at Kendall, shaking his head. "Are you sure you're done?"

"Positive," Kendall whispers as he leans in to kiss Carlos softly, smiling against his lips. When they ease apart, he rests his forehead against Carlos' and brushes their noses together slowly, breathing in deeply. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." The words come out as a soft breath and Carlos moves his hand to the back of Kendall's head, fingers dragging through his hair slowly as he watches him, smiling. "I missed you the moment you left my room that day," he says, bringing his hand around to touch the other man's jaw, brushing his fingertips along the curve slowly.

Kendall breathes slowly through his nose and closes his eyes, tilting into Carlos' touch. "I didn't want to leave," he whispers softly, voice breaking.

"But you planned to go there before you met me and I couldn't have asked you to stay, even if I wanted to."

"Did you? Want to, I mean."

Stilling his fingers on Kendall's jaw, Carlos swallows and shakes his head slowly. "No, I didn't."

"Why?"

"Because music made you happy and we had only been together for a short while. I figured we'd make it work with the long distance and you would come home every holiday to see me, but... we know that didn't happen. Still, I wanted you to do what made you happy, even if I didn't fit into the picture or the plan," Carlos answers, brushing his thumb across Kendall's lower lip. "I never thought you'd come back to me."

They fall silent for a moment and Kendall kisses Carlos softly, sweetly, just barely pressing their lips together before pulling away. When he does, he puts a hand on the side of his boyfriend's neck and brushes his thumb along his jaw, dragging it from the hinge to his chin, smiling softly. Carlos looks at him and their eyes meet, sending a shiver down Kendall's spine whenever he looks at the soft, warm, brown eyes looking at him.

Kendall wants this forever. He wants to be able to look at Carlos everyday and lay in bed with him every night, talking about nothing or just looking at one another. It makes his heart jump when he thinks about being with Carlos for the rest of his life and he honestly wants to take that next step because God knows that Kendall's in this for the long haul.

He just hopes that Carlos is, too.

"Hey, I need to go do something, okay?" Kendall says, suddenly, brushing his palm along Carlos' cheek. "When I get back, we'll go out and do absolutely anything you want, I promise."

"What are you going to do?"

Smiling, Kendall shakes his head and leans in to kiss Carlos again. "Don't worry about it. I'll be back in an hour, tops."

"Okay," Carlos grumbles playfully, giving Kendall a smile. "You sure you're okay to go out with how sore you are?"

"I'll be fine," is Kendall's response and he grins, kissing the tip of Carlos' nose before pulling away. He scrambles out of bed and goes to his bag on the floor, rummaging through it quickly, pulling out a pair of jeans and a tight, white shirt. "See you in a bit," he says, winking at Carlos on his way upstairs, heart hammering in his chest.

**x x**

After taking a quick shower, Kendall changes and calls Logan on his way to the car, running a hand through his damp hair until his friend answers.

"Hello?"

"Logan, hey," Kendall sayd, laughing as he slides behind the wheel. "I have a question for you and it's kind of important."

A yawn comes from the other end and Kendall wonders if he woke Logan up. "Okay, shoot," he answers, sounding sleepy but happy.

"Do you want to go shopping with me? It won't take long, I promise, but I kind of need someone to go with me."

"What are you going shopping for?" Logan asks.

"Not important right now," Kendall answers, putting the key in the ignition before turning it, listening to the engine roar to life. "What do you say, Logie - you wanna go shopping with me? Please say yes or I may just resort to crying."

Logan laughs and then sighs heavily. "Yeah, I guess so," he finally replies and Kendall smirks. "Are you on your way?"

"I'll be there in ten," is all Kendall says before hanging up and tossing his phone onto the passenger seat, body thrumming with excitement. He puts the car in reverse and backs out into the street, putting it in drive before heading toward Logan's house, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.

Ten minutes later, Kendall pulls into Logan's driveway and puts the car in park before hopping out, leaving it running as he heads up to the porch to knock on the door. He rocks back and forth on his heels, drumming his hands against his thighs as he waits for someone to answer, grinning broadly when he sees Logan standing in front of the open door.

"Come on," he says, impatiently, grabbing onto Logan's arm to pull him out. "Gotta get back to Carlos in less than an hour."

The door shuts behind Logan and he laughs, wriggling his arm free of Kendall's grasp. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Jewelry store."

"Wait, why?" Blinking, Logan follows Kendall down the porch steps and to the car.

When Kendall gets to the car, he opens the door and turns to look at Logan, grinning. "Think about it," he says, winking before sliding into the driver's seat, shutting the door behind him. He watches Logan walk around to the passenger side and waits until the door is shut before putting the car in reverse and backing out into the road.

"Holy shit," Logan says after a few minutes, turning in his seat. "You're going to do it, aren't you?"

"Do what?"

Rolling his eyes, Logan shakes his head and grins. "Going to ask him to marry you," he says and laughs when Kendall scrunches his face up. " _HOLY SHIT_!"

"Dude, okay, yes. I'm going to ask him to marry me and I'm going to help you pick out a ring for Camille." Kendall turns to smile at Logan when they stop at a red light and he grazes his teeth along his lower lip. "You do want to marry her, right?"

"Of course but, dude, you don't have to help me pick out a ring."

Kendall raises a brow and turns back to the road, going when the light turns green. "Why not?"

"Because - because, I dunno. It just feels real if I pick out a ring," he mutters, leaning back against his seat.

"It didn't feel real when Isaac was born?"

Logan bites his lip and shrugs, staring out the windshield. "It felt ridiculously real when he was born but when there's a ring involved? People start pushing you to plan the wedding and start asking a bunch of shit. I mean, Isaac's only two months old, dude, and Camille and I are still overwhelmed with taking care of him so we really don't need to add 'plan a wedding' onto our list of responsibilities."

"What if your parents help?" Kendall asks and then he gasps suddenly, laughing.

"Dude, are you okay?"

Nodding, Kendall bites his lip and keeps driving. "I was just thinking about a double wedding. You know, once I'm back from tour and things have settled down a little. We could split the planning or the babysitting or whatever."

"A double wedding," Logan parrots, his lips curving into a soft smile. "I think I like that idea."

"It's perfect! We'll get married after you guys - or vice versa - that way we can still be each other's best men and stuff," he says, slowing down when he gets closer to the mall, flicking his turn signal on.

Laughing softly, Logan nods and looks at Kendall. "I think that sounds great," he agrees.

"That is," Kendall starts, swinging into the mall parking lot, "if they agree to marry us."

"Oh, Carlos will agree to marry you in a heartbeat."

Kendall snorts and finds a parking lot close to the front of the mall. "And Camille will do the same for you," he says, pulling in between a Camaro and a beat-up Lincoln Town Car. "I'm going to ask Carlos today."

"Today?!" Logan stares at Kendall with his mouth open. "I thought you were going to ask when you got back from tour!"

"No, I said we would start planning after I got back from my tour. Honestly, Logie, don't you listen?"

Before Logan can answer, Kendall turns the car off and gets out, walking around to the rear of the car to wait for his friend. He smirks at him and throws an arm around Logan's shoulders, squeezing them as they head toward the entrance of the mall, neither of them saying a word until they get inside.

"Nothing's changed in here, has it?" Kendall asks as he looks at the mall's map near the entrance.

Logan shakes his head and claps his hands on his friend's shoulders, pushing him toward the stores. "Nothing has changed," he confirms, laughing as he gives Kendall's shoulders a light squeeze. "Let's go find engagement rings."

"Is it weird for a dude to give another dude an engagement ring?"

"Nah," Logan answers, shaking his head as he steers Kendall toward the finest jewelry store in the mall. "You're going to get wedding bands when you get married, so why are engagement rings weird?"

Pursing his lips together, Kendall nods and lets Logan push him toward the store. "Guess you're right," he mumbles, swallowing thickly when they stop in front of the jeweler's, wiping his palms against his jeans, suddenly nervous. "Maybe I should just wait for a while. We've only been together for a couple of days and - "

"You dragged me out of bed and told me this was important, so you're going in there and you're going to buy Litos a ring. Don't you want to be with him for the rest of your life, Kendall?"

"Yes, but - "

"No buts," Logan interrupts, slapping Kendall's shoulder before stepping into the store, going up to the display case with the smallest karat rings.

Kendall follows him with a heavy sigh and goes to look at the men's rings, tapping his fingers against the glass, his stomach twisting into knots as he stares down at them. He stands there for a few minutes and makes faces at the ring choices, thinking about how gaudy most of them look and thinking that maybe he'll just go somewhere else to find one... before he spots the perfect one. It's a thin, silver band and there's no stupid cross on the middle of it and it's as simple as can be which is perfect for Carlos.

"Can I help you?" asks a saleswoman and Kendall looks up, nodding slowly.

"I'd like to see this ring," he says, pointing to the band.

The woman smiles, unlocks the case, and pulls the ring out before handing it to Kendall. "That's a fourteen karat white gold wedding band," she says.

"Fourteen? Wow." Kendall whistles and holds the ring between his fingers, turning it a dozen different ways to look at it. "I think this is perfect," he mutters, nodding as he hands the ring back to the woman with a smile.

"Excellent choice. What size will you be needing?"

Biting his lip, Kendall thinks and shrugs facially. "An eight, I think."

"Well," she says, smiling brightly as she grabs the box it was displayed in, "you're in luck because this one is an eight exactly."

"Isn't this my lucky day," he mutters under his breath before smiling back at her. "How much?"

"Four hundred and twenty-nine."

Kendall whistles again and scratches the back of his neck, nodding. "Alright, ring it up."

After Kendall pays for the ring, he heads over to where Logan is standing and looks down at the case, pointing to a gold ring in the middle. "Get that one," he says, nudging Logan's shoulder to get him to look at the heart shaped ring. "She'd love it."

"I dunno..."

"Come on, she likes simple things and that," he taps the glass, "is simple and pretty attractive."

It takes a few minutes for Logan to come around but he does, eventually, and they pay for the ring before heading back outside. Once they're in the car, Kendall shows his friend the ring he bought for Carlos and smiles broadly when Logan shakes his head, claiming that it's perfect for Carlos. After putting the rings away, they leave the mall and Kendall drops Logan off at his house before heading back to his mother's, heart jumping in his chest and his stomach twisting nervously.

When Kendall gets home, he heads inside and goes down to the basement where he finds Carlos asleep - and naked - on the middle of the bed. He smiles and tip toes over to the bed, leaning down when he gets close enough to brush his lips across his boyfriend's shoulders, smiling more when he stirs. When Carlos doesn't wake up from that, Kendall bites down on his skin and moves a hand underneath the sheet, sliding it over the curve of the other man's ass, squeezing it lightly.

"I'm up," Carlos groans into the pillow, shaking his head before turning over onto his back, huffing. "That was rude."

"Good morning to you, too." Grinning, Kendall leans down to kiss Carlos' lips, nipping at them before pulling away. "So, what do you want to do today?"

Carlos hums and stretches a bit, moving his hands up to cradle Kendall's face. "I don't care what we do," he whispers, smiling sleepily.

"So, going on a ghost hunt with Logan is totally okay?" Kendall asks, trying not to grin.

"No, that's not okay. I don't care what  _we_  do as long as it's just the two of us."

Nodding, Kendall sits down on the edge of the bed and puts a hand on Carlos' hip, brushing his thumb along the sheet. "How about we go for a walk in the park, you know, just to see the scenery and enjoy the weather?"

"That's cheesy," Carlos comments, snickering as he sits up, kissing the side of Kendall's mouth. "But I'll do anything with you. Let me get a shower and then we'll go out, okay?"

"I'll be here waiting for you." Kendall smiles and lays down on the bed when Carlos gets off of it, watching him walk to the bathroom. He waits for the door to shut before fishing the small jewelry box out of his pocket, running a finger over the velvet covering, swallowing thickly. When he hears the shower turn on, Kendall opens the box and runs a fingertip along the ring slowly, smiling when he imagines the look on Carlos' face when he sees it.

**x x**

An hour later, Kendall and Carlos walk to the park, hand in hand, and talk about what's been going on since Kendall's been away. They laugh when Carlos retells stories about Isaac's first few weeks of life and how he's been peed on more times than he can count but he doesn't mind because Isaac is the cutest baby in the world and Kendall agrees.

When they finally get to the park, Kendall leads Carlos over to a bench that's sitting underneath a big oak tree and they sit together quietly with their fingers locked together, both hands resting on Kendall's thigh. As time goes on, the tiny box in Kendall's pocket feels like it weighs a ton and he clears his throat, sliding his hand away from Carlos' before turning slightly, running a hand through his hair.

"I have something to ask you," he starts off, giving Carlos a small smile.

"Ask away, baby." Carlos smiles back and folds his hands on his lap.

Kendall swallows hard and stands, taking the box out of his pocket, holding it in his palm with his fingers wrapped around it. "I don't know how to do this," he admits, laughing dryly as he drops onto his knee in front of Carlos, clearing his throat again.

"Kendall.."

"Just," Kendall interrupts, holding a hand up, "let me do this, okay?" Carlos nods his head and purses his lips, staring at Kendall with wide eyes and his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Chuckling to himself, Kendall scrubs his free hand across the back of his neck and sighs. "I love you and I know that things have been rough with us but I honestly believe that they're only going to get better. I was an asshole to you and I shouldn't have gone almost two years without talking to you because, well, that was fucked up and I apologize for that. You have no idea how badly I missed you and how many times I just wanted to pick up the phone and call you whenever something good happened or I saw something that reminded me of you," he says, pausing to take a breath.

"I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you, if you let me. I'll make up for every single thing I did to you and showing you how much I love you because, Carlos, I really do love you. I thought I couldn't love someone this much after James treated me the way he did but you came along and showed me that I can trust someone with my heart and that there is a thing called true love... and you're mine. As cheesy and as Nicholas Sparks cliched as this all sounds, I'm telling the truth. There was never a day when I didn't think about you and I always wanted to ask Camille how you were doing but it hurt so goddamn much that, I just couldn't. I'm so sorry, Litos," he whispers, his voice breaking slightly.

Kendall clears his throat again and shakes his head. "But I'm not going anywhere, okay? Not unless you say the word and then I'm gone. I'll leave you alone and I'll never contact you again but I hope you don't want that. I hope you want to spend your life with me as much as I want to share mine with you. I want to be able to know, for sure, that I belong to you for the rest of my days and I want you to  _want me_  until the day we die because, baby, I'm fucking crazy about you and I don't think I can stand not loving you for the rest of my life."

When he stops again, Kendall looks up at Carlos with a smile and lifts his hand, brushing his thumb along the other man's cheek. "Carlos?"

"Yeah," Carlos answers, nodding his head slowly as he bites down on his lip.

"Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?" Kendall asks, dropping his hand to open the box and show the ring to Carlos, swallowing thickly as he waits for an answer. His fingers and hands shake from the nerves but he manages not to drop the ring onto the ground.

Carlos takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and nods slowly, blinking to look at Kendall again. "Yes," he answers softly, tear rimming his eyes. "Yes, baby, I will marry you."

It takes Kendall a moment to realize that Carlos said yes and a choked off sobbing noise escapes before he bites down on his lip, nodding slowly and giving his boyfriend a 'really?' look.

"Yes," Carlos laughs, wiping his eyes before leaning forward to kiss Kendall, cupping either side of his face gently when he eases away.

Licking his lips, Kendall nods and lets out a shaky laugh. "I love you," he whispers, taking the ring out with shaky fingers before taking Carlos' left hand in his, sliding the ring on, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend - _fiance_ , he mentally reminds himself - softly. "It fits."

"That's what you say after you ask me a question like that?"

"Well!" Kendall laughs again and rests his forehead against Carlos'. "I was afraid I got the wrong size," he mumbles, running his thumb over the ring.

Shaking his head and laughing, Carlos ducks down to kiss Kendall softly. "I love you too, by the way," he whispers, brushing their noses together before pulling back. "That's where you went, huh?"

"Yeah," Kendall admits, nodding slowly before pulling back, smiling broadly. "We're getting married."

"That's kind of what happens when people get engaged, baby."

Kendall rolls his eyes and leans in to bite Carlos' lips. "Wanna go back home and, uh, celebrate?"

"Do you mean have sex?" Carlos asks, quirking a brow as he wraps his arms around Kendall's neck. "Because I think that sounds great."

"I meant have some champagne and use those noisemakers, but sex sounds like a good substitute for that.."

Carlos laughs and nods his head, pulling away from Kendall to let him stand up. "So, who do we tell first?"

"Your parents, I guess. My mom won't be in until four in the morning," Kendall says, sliding his hand into Carlos' when he stands. "Then we'll go see Logan and Camille after that."

"This is going to happen later, after you see Jo?"

Nodding, Kendall squeezes Carlos' hand and leads him to the sidewalk. "Yeah and I think I'm going to see James' grave before or after that," he says, shrugging as they head back to Kendall's mom's house. "Then we'll go see your parents and hopefully eat some of your mom's  _amazing_  cooking before we hit the Mitchell household."

"Are you going to take my last name or am I taking yours?" Carlos asks, smirking when Kendall chokes and starts coughing. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Kendall croaks, nodding as he hits the middle of his chest lightly. "And I don't know, do you want my last name?"

Carlos purses his lips together and pulls his hand out of Kendall's, sliding an arm around his waist. "Carlos Knight," he murmurs, making a thinking face.

"Kendall Garcia."

"Wow," Carlos breathes, laughing softly. "I really like that!"

"Kendall Garcia it is." Chuckling, Kendall puts an arm around Carlos' shoulders and pulls him closer. "Or Kendall Knight hyphen Garcia."

"I don't like that one."

Snorting, Kendall squeezes Carlos and laughs as they head back home. "We'll figure it out before the wedding," he says.

Neither of them say anything more as they walk back to the house and Kendall can't wipe the shit-eating grin off his face the whole way. He's happy that Carlos said yes and that he didn't screw the proposal up but, still, he wishes that he had done something a little more romantic. By the time they get home, however, Kendall stops worrying about that when Carlos pushes him against the door a second after it's shut and kisses him hard, a hand sliding between them to cup the front of his jeans.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: biting, teasing, scratching, blowjobs, a little bit of hair pulling, dirty talk, light sub/dom undertones, rimming, some light spanking... and those may (or may not) be all of the warnings.]

Kendall feels something cold slide across his lower lip and he shudders, clenching his eyes shut when he remembers that Carlos has his fucking _tongue_  pierced. He moans and moves one hand to the back of Carlos' head, cupping it as he slides the other hand down his side slowly, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt, tugging it up as he deepens the kiss. Opening his mouth, Kendall gasps when he feels Carlos' tongue press against his own and he moves his hips against the other man's hand, groaning quietly.

They kiss for a moment before Carlos pulls back, panting harshly against Kendall's lips. "Basement's too far away," he mutters, moving both hands to the front of Kendall's jeans, popping the button quickly before working on the fly.

"We can't -  _can't_  have sex in my mother's living room," Kendall pants out, moving his hand down the back of Carlos' head, slipping it onto the nape of his neck and squeezing lightly. "That's just... weird."

"It's only weird if you think about it." Chuckling, Carlos lets go of Kendall's zipper once it's down and snakes his hands up, moving them around his hips and underneath the waistband of his jeans. "We _could_  go upstairs and fuck in the shower but that's about the same distance as the basement, huh?"

As he thinks about that, Kendall feels a hand press against the front of his boxers and he moans. "No, we can stay down here," he says, the words falling from his mouth before he can actually take the time to process what the fuck he's saying. "Can't make a mess, though."

"So I can't come anywhere but your mouth?" Carlos asks, gripping Kendall through the thin cotton covering him.

 _Christ,_  how does Carlos just say stuff like that? "Yeah, n-nowhere but th-there," Kendall answers.

Smirking, Carlos leans up and bites Kendall's jaw lightly before moving away, sliding his hands down the middle of his stomach as he backs up toward the couch. He grabs the hem of his shirt, pulls it up, and lifts it over his head before letting it fall onto the carpet, the smirk on his face widening as he moves his hands down, popping the button of his jeans. As he undoes his pants, Carlos licks his lips and cocks his head to the side, staring at Kendall with an expression that reads  _'what are you waiting for?'._

Kendall shakes his head and toes his boots off, kicking them away before shimmying out of his jeans, letting them fall to the floor once they're off. He licks his lips and takes a step forward, moving a hand between his shoulders to grab his shirt, pulling it over his head and down his arms, tossing it somewhere in the corner. When he gets close to Carlos, Kendall moves his hands away from his jeans and hooks his fingers in his belt loops, giving them a sharp tug, causing the denim to slide off his hips. It moves down his thighs and Kendall drops to his knees, looking up at Carlos when he gets the fabric around his ankles.

"You've gotta take your shoes off," he mumbles, chuckling when Carlos rolls his eyes.

"Yes sir." Carlos sticks his tongue out and winks as he sits down on the couch to pull his shoes and jeans off, tossing them away before spreading his legs, motioning for Kendall to come forward.

Licking his lips slowly, Kendall nods and scoots forward on his knees, not worrying about the rub burn that's going to appear later. For now, he's focused on the noticeable bulge in Carlos' boxers and he swallows thickly, sliding his hands along the other man's thighs until he gets to the waistband of his underwear. With a smile, Kendall flicks his eyes up and catches Carlos' gaze, holding it as he starts to pull the fabric down, feeling a little resistance when it slides over his cock.

Carlos shivers and lifts his hips, moving both hands to Kendall's shoulders. "Can't believe we're doing this  _here_ ," he murmurs.

"You're the one who complained that the shower  _and_  thebasement were too far away," Kendall replies, sliding Carlos' boxers down and off, throwing them over his shoulder before spreading his legs slowly, smiling. "We can head downstairs, if you want.."

"Well," Carlos starts, biting his lower lip, "your mom isn't coming home until the morning, right?" Kendall nods and leans in to kiss the inside of his fiance's thigh, dragging his teeth across the skin slowly. "I guess it w-w-wouldn't hurt to - Jesus; teeth,  _really_? - stay up here.."

A hum comes from deep in Kendall's chest and it vibrates against Carlos' skin as he continues to kiss down toward his knee before going back up, planting a kiss to his hipbone, looking up at the other man through his bangs. When their eyes meet, Kendall smiles and dips down, dragging the tip of his tongue along the head of Carlos' cock, swirling it around the crown slowly before taking it between his lips, sucking softly.

"Christ." Tipping his head back, Carlos sighs and slides a hand onto the back of Kendall's head, gripping his hair gently. He barely lifts his hips and squeezes the other man's shoulder as he takes another inch of his cock into his mouth, sucking slowly. "God damn, Kendall," he huffs, dropping his chin toward his chest again, watching Kendall intently.

Kendall makes a noise around Carlos' cock and smiles, closing his eyes as he takes a few more inches, sucking quickly. He digs his fingertips into the other man's thighs and wraps his free hand around the base of the shaft as he bobs his head up and down, hollowing his cheeks out whenever he comes up. Above him, Carlos whimpers and moans quietly, the fingers in his hair twisting and pulling him forward, hips stuttering up toward Kendall's mouth, causing him to whimper loudly.

After a moment of slow sucking, Kendall pulls off and presses his tongue flat under the head of Carlos' cock as he strokes up the length slowly, using his spit to help his hand glide easier. When his hand comes up, Kendall wraps his lips around the head again before sucking, sliding his hand down and following it with his mouth, repeating this until Carlos is writhing and telling him to stop before he comes. Whining softly, Kendall pulls off and settles back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Wanna go downstairs now?" Kendall asks as he strokes Carlos' cock with long, languid strokes.

Carlos bites down on his lip and nods quickly, looking at Kendall, his eyelids half closed. "Yeah," he breathes, swallowing hard. "Please."

"Alright." Chuckling quietly, Kendall moves his hands to Carlos' hips and grips them tightly, pulling him to the edge of the couch. Carlos squeaks and Kendall just laughs, leaning down to kiss the inside of his thigh before moving forward, staying down on one knee as he bends the other, planting his foot on the carpet. "I want you to put your legs around my waist, okay?"

"You're going to carry me?"

"Unless you don't want me to," Kendall answers, rubbing Carlos' hips slowly.

Moaning softly, Carlos bites his lip and wraps his arms around Kendall's neck. "Okay," he huffs, shaking his head as he wraps his legs around the other man's waist, holding onto him as he stands up; Kendall wobbles a little once they're standing but he stays vertical.

"See? I can do this," he says, smiling as he moves his hands down to Carlos' ass, gripping it tightly. He smirks when his fiance yelps and he leans in to kiss him softly, moving away from the couch and out of the living room, trying not to run into anything as he takes Carlos to the basement door. When they get to it, Kendall has to lean Carlos up against the wall beside the door so he can open it and then he makes his way downstairs slowly, almost falling down the steps a few times before making it to the bottom safely. "Scared?"

"Me?" Kendall nods in response to Carlos' question and smirks. "No, I wasn't scared."

Kendall nods and takes Carlos over to the bed, laying him down before going to lock the basement door. "As a precaution," he says when he comes back and crawls onto the mattress, straddling Carlos' waist as he hovers over him, smiling.

"If someone's going to come down  _here_ ," Carlos starts, running his hands along Kendall's chest slowly, "then they'll already know what we're doing because our clothes are strewn about the living room."

"They could think we exploded spontaneously."

Carlos laughs and leans up, kissing Kendall softly. "I doubt it but okay."

"Enough talking," Kendall murmurs as he gently pushes Carlos back onto the bed, pressing their foreheads together. "I want this to be different."

"How?" The word comes out in a soft breath and Carlos shivers, moving his hands over Kendall's shoulders.

Smiling, Kendall shrugs a shoulder and leans down to press his lips against Carlos', kissing him deeply as he thrusts his hips down, feeling their cocks slide together slowly, moaning into the kiss. He opens his mouth and slides his tongue into Carlos', licking into it slowly as he continues to grind his hips down into the other man's, swallowing every sound he makes. Carlos gasps and arches his back slightly, lifting a leg to hook over the back of Kendall's, pressing the heel of his foot against the back of his thigh.

When he feels Carlos' tongue wrap around his, Kendall moans and bunches his shoulders together, pressing his hips down against the other man's roughly, causing him to groan loudly. He pulls away then and drops his head, brushing his lips along Carlos' nipples before taking a ring between his teeth and tugging gently. As he continues to tug and bite, Kendall moves a hand between them and drags his fingertips down the middle of Carlos' stomach, just barely brushing them against the head of his cock, feeling how damp it is.

"Fuck," he pants, pulling away to look up at Carlos, licking his lips. "I don't know if I can handle taking this slow."

"Then  _don't_." Kendall watches the way Carlos tips his head back, exposing his neck, his Adam's apple bobbing when he swallows. "Don't take it slow right now, okay? Just... fuck me and then we'll go as slow as you want later," he whispers, running his hands along Kendall's shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin.

Kendall smirks and drops his head to kiss the front of Carlos' throat, dragging his teeth down slowly. "You're sure?"

"Yes," Carlos answers, almost sounding impatient.

"Mm, you're okay with me fucking you into the mattress so hard that you won't be able to sit later?" A hushed  _'Christ'_  comes from Carlos' mouth and he bucks his hips forward, causing Kendall to grin. "Or just fingering you until you're begging for my cock and you're dripping precome from how badly you want it?"

Carlos whimpers and slides his foot down the back of Kendall's leg. "Kendall," he whines, breathing harshly.

"Or," Kendall whispers, dropping his head until his lips are brushing against Carlos' ear, "I could tongue-fuck you until you're a writhing mess on my bed.. or until you come, untouched. You want that, Litos? You wanna come with just my tongue inside of you and nothing else?"

"Just... just want you to  _touch me_." The words come out soft and pleading, Carlos' chest rising and falling quickly against Kendall's. "Please, baby.."

Humming, Kendall drags the tip of his nose along the shell of Carlos' ear. "Or maybe I'll just decide that you can't come until I say so and I'll just keep sliding my tongue against that tight ass of yours and make you beg for it even more. You wanna beg for me to let you come, baby? Wanna beg for me to slam my cock into your ass and fuck you hard?"

"Jesus - ah - yes, Kendall. Please, please... I want it." Carlos' voice is wrecked and he's panting heavily, precome smearing across the tips of Kendall's fingers as he slides them across the head of his cock.

"Want what, baby?" As he speaks, Kendall drags his lips along the curve of Carlos' ear, biting down at the top gently, smirking when he moans.

Swallowing thickly, Carlos writhes underneath Kendall and moves a hand to his hair, grabbing a fistful. "Want you to touch me. Use your tongue, your fingers, your cock - anything. Just - ngh - please, m'so hard."

"Alright, baby, I'll touch you," Kendall whispers, pressing a kiss to the side of Carlos' face before pulling away. He stands beside the bed and pushes his boxers down, kicking them away once they're around his ankles, licking his lips as he looks at the man laying on the bed before him. The way Carlos is laying on the bed with one leg bent and the other one straight, his head turned away from Kendall, throat exposed... it makes him harder than before and he squeezes his cock lightly. "Turn over for me, get on your knees."

Carlos nods and obeys, rolling over onto his stomach before pushing himself up onto his knees, his arms shaking as he holds himself up. He swallows and turns his head to look at Kendall, teeth grazing over his bottom lip as he wiggles his ass a little in invitation. When Kendall growls and moves toward the bed, Carlos drops his head and closes his eyes, letting out a sudden rush of breath when he feels a hand moving along the back of his thigh, inching closer to his ass.

"You can lay your chest on the bed if you want." The tone of Kendall's voice is surprisingly soft and he drags his hand up the curve of Carlos' ass, brushing his thumb along the crease slowly. "Your arms are shaking," he points out.

"I'm fine," Carlos replies, breathing shakily.

Kendall shrugs and moves his other hand to the other cheek, spreading Carlos' ass slowly. He breathes in deeply and leans down, biting at one of Carlos' cheeks before moving over to the same to the other one before holding him open. With a soft sigh, Kendall leans in and presses the flat of his tongue against the other man's entrance, moaning softly against him, fingertips digging softly into his skin. His eyes slide shut as he runs the tip along the outer rim, moaning again when Carlos makes a noise in front of him and pushes his ass back against Kendall's face.

Another moan comes from Carlos and he whimpers, letting his chest fall to the mattress. "Kendall," he says, drawing out the second syllable, his fingers twisted in the sheets. "Fuck, righ - right there..."

When Kendall hears this, he runs the tip of his tongue along the outside of Carlos' entrance again but he goes the other way, alternating between the two before pushing his tongue in just a little. He wiggles it a bit, pulls it out, and licks from Carlos' perineum to the top of his ass, biting it gently before going back to work on his entrance. Carlos sucks in a deep breath when Kendall pushes his tongue back inside of him and he moans loudly, his entire body shaking when the other man pulls away, rubbing a thumb along his rim.

"Had enough?" Kendall asks, his voice low and seductive, sending another shiver down Carlos' spine. "Or you want me to keep going?"

"Kee - keep... keep going.."

Smirking slightly, Kendall shakes his head and leans back down to press his tongue against Carlos again, licking his entrance quickly. He flicks at the skin with his tongue for a while and then slips it in slightly, shaking his head from side to side, hands gripping Carlos' ass harder than before. When he pulls away this time, Kendall drops down and drags the flat of his tongue across the skin just behind the other man's balls, flicking the tip against those before pulling back, smirking at the noises that Carlos is making.

Carlos pants and shakes his ass a little. "Fuck me," he whimpers before burying his face against the pillow.

"What was that?" Kendall asks, giving Carlos' ass a sharp slap and smirking more when he pulls away from the pillow, yelping.

"Jesus, I'm going to die here," Carlos mumbles, shaking his head slowly. "I said fuck me."

"You suuuuuure you want that?"

Growling, Carlos nods and looks over his shoulder at Kendall, biting his lip. "Fuck me," he says and Kendall nods.

"Okay," he says, rubbing his hand against Carlos' ass, "I'll fuck you."

Something like a 'thank you' or a 'thank God' comes from Carlos but Kendall doesn't pay attention. He's too busy sucking on his fingers, smirking around them when the other man groans and turns his head, shaking it slightly before letting it drop back down onto the pillow. Kendall pulls the digits out with a pop and presses them against Carlos' entrance, pushing them in slowly before stilling them to make sure that Carlos is okay; he starts moving them again when he gets a complaint and his fiance rotates his hips before pushing them back against his hand.

Rolling his eyes and huffing, Kendall shakes his head and starts to pull his fingers out slowly, separating them as he does before pushing them back together and sliding them in. He repeats this until Carlos is begging for a third and he slips the extra digit in, working him open quickly as he moves his free hand up and down the other man's back, dragging it across his ass. When he pushes his fingers in again, Kendall smacks Carlos' ass and crooks his fingertips at the same time, eliciting a loud moan from his fiance.

"Still so fucking tight," Kendall murmurs, working his fingers out again, spreading them as far as they'll go. He pushes them together, slips them out of Carlos, and rubs the tips around his entrance slowly, smirking when he whimpers loudly, attaching Kendall's name onto the noise. "Ready for me?"

Whimpering, Carlos pulls his head away from the mattress and nods. "Yeah," he breathes, pressing his palms flat against the bed.

"Are you okay?" Kendall asks, rubbing his hand against Carlos' ass.

"Yeah, why?"

Kendall shrugs and brings his hand up, spitting liberally on it before rubbing it over his cock. "Just wondering," he murmurs, wrapping his fingers around the shaft before pressing the head against Carlos' entrance, pushing in slowly. "Tell me - ngh - if it hurts.."

"Kay," Carlos sighs, leaning his head back between his shoulders, letting out a long, loud groan as Kendall continues pushing into him. When the entire length of Kendall's cock is buried inside his ass, Carlos drops his head back down to the mattress and presses his forehead against the pillow, sucking in a breath when Kendall starts to pull out.

For a second, Kendall thinks that Carlos is in pain and he stops, waiting for him to give the signal to keep going; when Carlos rotates his hips and pulls back, he slips his cock out until just the head is still in. Swallowing thickly, he wraps his hands around Carlos' hips and slams forward until his are nestled against the other man's ass, huffing once he bottoms out again. After a few seconds, Kendall starts to rock back and forth, fucking Carlos slowly as he moves a hand up his side, taking time to run his fingertips over his tattoo before going up to his shoulders, gripping it tightly.

"Tight," he chokes out, leaning down to press his forehead against Carlos' back, breathing hard against it. "Fuck, so tight. I don't even have to fuck you, baby, I could just come like this, with you wrapped around my cock."

Carlos moans and shoves his ass back against Kendall. "Shut up and fuck me," he groans, fingers curling around the sheets.

Laughing weakly, Kendall nods and pushes himself up, moving both hands to either of Carlos' shoulders, holding onto them tightly as he thrusts in and out quickly, the sound of Carlos' ass slapping against his hips filling the room. He's shaking and moaning the other man's name, panting harshly as he bottoms out once more, his entire body tensing like he's going to come and, for a split second, Kendall's worried that might be the case. Everything is happening at once and Kendall can't focus on just one thing: Carlos is moaning his name, begging for more and to be fucked harder; his muscles are clenching tightly and barely relaxing, making Kendall's head spin; the body underneath his is writhing, shoulders shaking with each thrust.

It all becomes too much to handle but Kendall doesn't come. He doesn't allow himself to come yet and he keeps fucking Carlos, angling his hips in a way that makes him scream each time he thrusts back in. A lazy smirk takes over and Kendall lifts a hand, brushes his sweaty bangs off his forehead, and slides the hand back to Carlos' shoulders, nails dragging down his skin slowly, fingers shaking. He takes a deep breath and swallows thickly, slowing his hips down until his cock is just barely sliding out of Carlos, making him whimper and push back, until Kendall takes hold of his hips.

"Uh-uh," he says, clearing his throat as he moves his hands; one presses against the small of Carlos' back and the other goes to his ass. Kendall picks up pace and his hips jab against Carlos' ass as he digs his fingertips into his back, moving the hand on his ass away before bringing it down, smacking his skin sharply. The loud  _crack_  of skin on skin makes Kendall shudder and he closes his eyes, tips his head back, and lets out a throaty noise as he starts working his hips in slow circles.

"Kendall," Carlos moans, his voice completely wrecked by this point. "Please, can I - can I come? Please, baby, I need it..."

That makes Kendall groan again and he slams his hips forward, snaking a hand around to Carlos' cock. "Say it again," he pants.

"Jesus Christ, please just... just make me come, please? Kendall, I - ah, ah... fuck, right there..." Carlos moans loudly and starts working his hips, moving a hand behind him to grip Kendall's hip tightly when he starts stroking his cock, squeezing it lightly. "Ye-yeah, baby... please."

Hearing Carlos beg and say please sends a shiver down Kendall's spine and he strokes in time with his thrusts, the two of them moaning in unison. He stills his hips when his body tenses and his balls tighten, causing him to bend forward and hover over Carlos' back, breathing harshly against his sweat-slick skin. When he moves again, Kendall thrusts in and out of Carlos a few more times before biting down on his shoulder, his moans muffling against it as he comes, eyes screwing shut and his hand stopping at the base of Carlos' cock.

"Christ, fuck... Fuck,  _Kendall_!"

Kendall pulls away from Carlos' shoulder and trembles, nearly falling on top of the other man. "Fuck, oh...  _oh god_ , Litos."

"Come  _on_ ," Carlos growls, moving his hips forward, whining when Kendall barely moves his hand up his cock.

"Oh, fuck.." Swallowing thickly, Kendall wraps his hand just underneath the head of Carlos' cock, sliding it down before squeezing the base. He shudders when he feels the other man tighten around him, biting his lip as he continues to stroke him as quickly as he can, running his free hand along his side slowly. "Come on, baby," he whispers, thumbing over the head quickly.

Carlos' body shudders and he thrusts his hips forward, into Kendall's hand, before he comes with a loud grunt. He pants against the mattress and then buries his face against the pillow, moaning loudly into it as his hips twitch and move forward. When he's done, Carlos collapses on the bed and groans when he feels his come underneath him, not bothering to pull away from Kendall so that he can roll away.

"Shit," Kendall huffs, moving his hand out from underneath Carlos. "You okay?"

A muffled reply comes from Carlos and he rolls his eyes, biting his lower lip as he pulls out slowly before falling onto the bed next to Carlos. He smiles and leans in to kiss his shoulder lightly, glancing at the bite mark on the other, biting his lip again to keep himself from laughing. Laughing in this situation would be bad and it might result in Carlos hitting him... whenever he gets the strength. Kendall doesn't want that, not at all.

Though, he probably does deserve to be punched for all the shit he's done.

"I love you," he whispers, brushing his lips along Carlos' skin until he lifts his head and turns to look at him; Kendall smiles.

"I love you too." Carlos returns the smile and moves forward to kiss Kendall softly, humming against his lips before pulling away. "Need a shower," he grumbles and buries his face against the pillow again, sighing into it.

Kendall laughs and kisses the side of Carlos' head, moving a hand across the small of his back. "We'll get cleaned up in a minute."

"Can't move." The words are slightly muffled but Kendall hears them just fine.

"You'll be able to in a minute," he replies, sliding his fingers along Carlos' spine. "Or we could go upstairs and take a bath."

Shivering, Carlos turns his head and opens one eye, looking at Kendall. "You gonna carry me again?"

"Hell no."

"Then I'm going to stay here until I can move again," Carlos mumbles, nodding as he closes his eyes again, sighing.

"Fine, be that way." Kendall chuckles and sits up on the bed, running a hand through his sweaty hair, grimacing.

Carlos groans and finally rolls over onto his back, nuzzling his head against the pillow as he opens his eyes. "Gross," he comments, making a vague motion toward Kendall's hair, grinning.

"Your hair is sweaty, too," Kendall mumbles, making a face at Carlos before climbing off the bed, nearly falling once he's up. "I'm good! I'm good!"

"Are you sure?" There's a hint of amusement in Carlos' voice and Kendall turns to glare at him, making another face. "Help me up?"

Raising a brow, Kendall steps up to the edge of the bed and holds his hands out. "Gonna shower now?"

"Mm-hmm," Carlos hums, taking hold of Kendall's hands and pulling himself up into a sitting position. "You going to see Jo after?"

"If I can get a hold of her, yeah." Shrugging, Kendall pulls Carlos close and wraps both arms around him, leaning down to press their foreheads together, sighing contentedly. "Then we go see your parents and Logan," he says, laughing when Carlos just barely nods his head. "Come on, then."

Grumbling quietly, Carlos makes a face and then sighs, pulling away from Kendall. "Okay. Lead the way," he says, motioning to the stairs.

Kendall laughs and takes one of Carlos' hands in his own, slotting their fingers together as they head to the staircase. He walks slowly and stops whenever Carlos tells him to, biting down on his lip to keep himself from laughing once again. When they get to the basement door, Kendall unlocks it and pushes it open, stepping out into the kitchen, suddenly aware that they're both naked and he prays, silently, that no one decided to come in while they were downstairs.

Or worse: his mother getting off work early and coming home.

The house is empty when they step out of the kitchen and Kendall breathes a sigh of relief, dragging his tongue over his lips as they take the stairs, heading up to his mom's bathroom. Each step makes them both groan but they make it to the bathroom without hurting anything further and Kendall shuts the door behind them, letting Carlos sit on the edge of the sink as he goes to turn the shower on, sighing when he feels warm water hit the top of his head.

When the water is perfect, Kendall goes over to Carlos and wraps both arms around him, leaning down to kiss him gently, smiling against his lips before easing away. He helps him off the sink and leads him to the tub, letting him step in first before climbing in after him, pulling the curtain shut once they're both under the stream.

They waste a few minutes just standing there with Carlos' back pressed against Kendall's chest and his hands roaming over Carlos' body, lips brushing along his temple slowly. He pulls away after a few minutes and grabs the body wash, squirting some into his hand before putting it back and rubbing both hands together, working up a nice lather. Once that's done, Kendall steps away and moves his hands along Carlos' shoulders, rubbing the soap against his skin as he goes down further, dropping onto his knees so that he can get the backs of his legs.

Kendall stands up and tells Carlos to turn around when he's done with the backside, pouring more soap into his hands as he obeys, watching his fiance turn to face him, drops of water sliding down his skin slowly. He swallows and presses his hands flat against Carlos' chest, smiling softly as he starts working them in slow circles, dragging a trail of bubbles down to his stomach, making sure to wash every inch. Biting his lip, Kendall drops his hands and starts to wash Carlos' cock, muttering an apology when he whimpers, fingers gripping his forearm tightly.

"Kendall," Carlos breathes and Kendall gets the hint, so he drops his hands to Carlos' thighs, washing them quickly. When he's done, Kendall stands up again and backs his fiance up until he's under the shower head completely, watching the bubbles wash away slowly. He helps them along and they switch places once they're all gone.

Smiling, Carlos grabs the body wash and pours some into his palm, rubbing both together as Kendall gets wet under the spray, watching his head tip back so that his throat is exposed. A groan comes from his chest and Carlos just sighs as he steps forward, putting his hands on Kendall's shoulders, working them down his arms slowly. He takes his time and goes back up, working the bubbles over the taller man's chest, sliding his palms down the smooth expanse of his stomach.

"Supposed to be good," Kendall murmurs and Carlos raises a brow.

"What?"

"We're supposed to be good," he repeats, with a smirk, "but all I can think of is dropping to my knees and sucking your cock."

Carlos swallows hard and shakes his head, kneeling in front of Kendall. "I don't think either of us are up for that," he replies, hands sliding down the length of Kendall's legs before going back up.

"Aw," Kendall says, pouting as he watches Carlos stand and go for the body wash again. "I'm sure you could handle it."

"I don't think so." Sighing, Carlos shakes his head again and motions for Kendall to turn around, dispensing more soap into his palm. He rubs them together again and starts at the middle of Kendall's back this time, working his thumbs against the muscle slowly, listening to the moans that come from the other man's mouth. "Do you want me to stop?"

The answer to the question comes in the form of a whine; Kendall shakes his head and drops it forward, letting water cascade over his skull as Carlos continues to knead his fingers into his back, working the kinks out. He lets out another moan and slumps his shoulders, shivering when he feels soap spread across them and Carlos' hands moving from one shoulder to the other before going back down, traveling to the backs of his thighs. A squeak leaves Kendall's throat when he feels those fingers press against his thighs and he puts a hand on the shower wall, fingertips gripping the slippery tile.

"Done." Carlos slaps Kendall's thighs and stands up, smirking when he yelps. "Hair is next, hmm?"

Kendall sighs and nods slowly, turning under the shower head so the water can wash away the bubbles. "You want me to wash yours?"

"Please."

"Alright," Kendall says, laughing when he turns back to Carlos, nodding at the shower. "Get your head wet."

Snorting, Carlos moves around Kendall and tips his head back under the stream, moving both hands through it. He straightens up after a minute and shakes his head, running a hand down his face to get the water out of his eyes, laughing when he looks at Kendall, who's holding a bottle of shampoo with a grin on his face. Carlos nods his head and turns around, arching his back slightly to tilt his head toward the other man, moaning softly when he feels Kendall's fingertips massaging his scalp.

Long fingers work their way through his hair and Carlos clenches his eyes shut, moaning again. "Okay," he croaks, "I think I'm done."

"But I liked playing with your hair," Kendall protests, but he drops his hands away and watches Carlos rinse the bubbles out. When he's done, they trade places again and Kendall gets his hair wet quickly before turning so that his back is facing his fiance; he has to bend his knees a bit so that Carlos can shampoo his hair but that's alright.

When Carlos is done lathering, Kendall straightens up and rinses, turning the shower off once all of the bubbles are gone. He pushes the shower curtain back and steps out onto the bathmat, running a hand down his face before going back up to push his hair away from his forehead and to slick it back. Kendall runs his thumb and forefinger along his eyes, clenching them as he gets the water off his lashes before blinking them open to look for the towels.

Carlos steps out behind him and watches Kendall grab two towels, smiling when he hands one over. "Thanks," he says and wipes his face quickly before unfolding the towel and wrapping it around his waist.

"No problem." After winking at Carlos, Kendall unravels his own towel and wraps it around himself as he heads to the bathroom door. He disappears into the hall and looks over his shoulder, smiling when he sees Carlos trailing behind him, towel hanging low on his hips and water droplets running down the middle of his chest.

The two of them brush their teeth before heading back downstairs and Kendall gives Carlos clothes to wear, throwing their dirty ones into the washing machine. Once he's got the laundry going, Kendall grabs his laptop and goes to lounge on the couch with Carlos, opening his computer once he's situated. He lets it boot up and then clicks on a browser, bringing it up before going to Facebook, chewing on his lip as he types Jo's name in the search bar. It takes it a few seconds to load and he bobs his head, searching for the right Jo Taylor and making a triumphant "aha" noise when he finds her.

Kendall clicks on her page and sends her a message saying:  _"Hey, Jo! I'm in town for a few days and I saw your engagement notice in the paper. I was thinking maybe we could meet up this afternoon? I have to leave tomorrow. Let me know either way. - Kendall."_  He reads the message a few times and then sends it, moving his laptop onto the coffee table before leaning back, throwing an arm around Carlos' shoulders.

"Shouldn't you be going to work?"

"Gustavo took some time off," Carlos answers, laying his head on Kendall's shoulder. "He'll be back at the end of the week."

Nodding, Kendall shifts down and puts his feet on the coffee table, lifting a hand to run his fingers through Carlos' hair. "Explains why Logan wasn't at work, too," he mutters, laughing softly. "So, what are you going to do while I'm out with Jo?"

"I'll probably take the ring off and go see my parents. See if they need me to do anything around the house and tell them that we're going to come over for dinner, so I'll probably help with that."

"You're a great son," Kendall murmurs and Carlos smacks him on the stomach, causing him to laugh again. "What was that for?"

Carlos scrunches his nose and pulls his legs up, curling himself up against Kendall's side. "I dunno," he admits, biting his lip.

"You can't just hit me! That's spousal abuse."

"We're not married," Carlos counters.

Kendall snorts and lays his head against Carlos'. "Yet," he whispers, snickering when Carlos goes to hit him again and he catches his hand. "Stop hitting me, it hurts my feelings... and my stomach."

"Oh, you big baby."

"I'm  _your_  big baby." Grinning, Kendall turns to kiss the top of Carlos' head and he sighs against it, closing his eyes. "How do you think your parents are going to react to our engagement?"

Shrugging slightly, Carlos sighs and slides his fingers between Kendall's. "They'll be happy. My mom'll get dramatic and be all  _'dios mio, a wedding! My baby's getting married!_ ' and my dad will just smile because he's not really one to show his excitement."

"So they won't be surprised," Kendall says, brushing his lips along Carlos' damp hair slowly. "My mom might be a little surprised."

"Nah, she won't be. I don't think anyone will, honestly."

"Are we really that predictable?"

Carlos laughs and turns his head, kissing Kendall quickly. "Not predictable... just crazy in love," he whispers.

"Or just crazy," Kendall replies, laughing against Carlos' lips before kissing him again.

They fall silent after that and Carlos lays his head on Kendall's shoulder, closing his eyes when he feels the other man's fingers slide through his hair slowly. He smiles, shifts closer, and wraps his arms around his fiance's waist, nuzzling him lightly as he lets out a content sigh, tapping his fingertips against Kendall's side lightly, listening to him breathe. The fingers in his hair slide down the back of his head and rest just above the nape of his neck, causing Carlos to shiver a little, pressing himself against Kendall a little more.

Kendall strokes his fingers down Carlos' neck and breathes slowly, enjoying the silence and just being close to his fiance which is something he missed the most about being away from him. He missed the closeness and the way they could just lay together without saying a word, just being in each other's space and barely touching the other. It makes Kendall's chest tighten when he remembers the way things used to be and he hopes that things will go back to being that way, when things were easy and they were honestly, one hundred percent happy.

Half an hour passes and Kendall finally moves, laughing when Carlos whines in disappointment. "I'm just going to see if Jo replied," he mutters, leaning in to kiss Carlos softly before grabbing his laptop, settling it on his thighs.

"Fine, see if she _ruh-plied_  to your dumb message." Pouting, Carlos makes a 'hmph' noise and moves to the other end of the couch, curling up on the cushions before pressing his feet against Kendall's thigh, smirking when he moves them away. "I thought you loved me," he mutters.

"I do," Kendall replies, scrunching his face up as he goes back to Facebook to check his messages, "but I don't want your feet all on me."

"You never used to mind it."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall snorts and clicks on the message icon, smiling brightly when he sees that Jo replied. "She says that she'd love to get together," he reads, eyes scanning the screen, "and she wants to do it soon."

"How soon?" Carlos asks, turning over slightly to look at Kendall.

"She wants me to meet her for coffee in half an hour."

Carlos nods and then smiles, turning back onto his side. "Have a nice time," he says happily, folding his hands under his cheek.

"I will," Kendall murmurs, typing a reply to Jo before shutting his laptop. "Don't look at porn while I'm gone."

"Damn, that ruins my entire afternoon." Smirking, Carlos looks at Kendall and opens his arms. "Gimme a kiss."

Kendall shakes his head and sits on his knees, hovering over Carlos long enough to kiss him. "See you later, bossy," he mutters when he pulls back, laughing when he stands up, running a hand through his hair. "How do I look?"

"Perfect," Carlos says, without looking at Kendall. "Now, go."

"Wow, you are so bossy." With a snort, Kendall goes to grab his boots from where he kicked them earlier and gathers his phone, wallet, and the keys to Camille's car from their place on the carpet. After putting everything into his pockets and pulling his shoes on, Kendall goes to the door and turns to smile at Carlos, waving at him before disappearing through the door. He goes to get into the car quickly and starts it, backing out of the driveway before heading down the street, turning the radio up when he hears one of his favourite songs.

**x x**

Jo's standing outside when Kendall gets to the coffee shop and he parks near her, smiling broadly when he gets out of the car, immediately going over to hug her. When they ease apart, he studies her and shakes his head, not believing how much she's changed; he didn't get a good look at her the night of the concert because she was so far away but now that she's standing in front of him? Kendall can't believe it's the same person.

"You look," he pauses to take a deep breath, "beautiful."

"So do you!" Jo laughs and puts a hand over her mouth, shaking her head, blonde curls spilling over her shoulders. "I mean, you look handsome. A lot different than you did when you left," she says, dropping her hand to her side.

Kendall shrugs and makes a face, laughing. "Thanks," he says, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. "Congratulations on your engagement!"

"Thank you," she replies, blushing slightly as she pushes her hair behind her ears. "I guess you were right about me finding someone eventually."

"Was I right about him being great and amazing and better than me?"

Blushing more, Jo bites her lip and smiles, nodding slowly. "He's amazing."

"Ah! I'm so happy for you." Kendall hugs her again and then lets go, smiling sheepishly. "So, coffee?"

"Sure - but I can't stay long. Daniel and I still have a lot to do before our wedding."

"I won't keep you long," he says, smiling as he goes to open the door for her. "After you."

Jo smiles and steps into the coffee shop, heading to the counter with Kendall behind her. They order and wait for their drinks, grabbing them when they're done before heading to a table near the back where Kendall can hide in case anyone recognizes him. He sits across from her and takes a long sip of his tea, setting it back down with a sigh.

"So," Jo starts, after taking a few sips of her latte, "how's fame treating you?"

"It's alright, I guess. I don't really like being recognized wherever I go and having bras thrown at my head." Jo raises a brow and Kendall laughs. "I get bras thrown at me at  _every_ show we do. One time a girl hit me in the face with one and I'm glad it was a bra and not something else."

"Like a bottle?"

Kendall laughs and nods, running a finger along the rim of his cup. "But the tour is ending soon and I'm coming back home because Carlos and I are back together," he says, biting his lower lip softly.

"Back together? I thought you two were together when you left," she says, pouting slightly.

"We were. To make a long story short: we were fine for a while, stopped talking, started talking again, then I broke up with him via voicemail. I know, it was a bad thing to do but I didn't know what else to do, honestly. Then I started dating Dustin, who's in the band with me, and we were together until the other day... when we got to Minnesota."

After taking another sip from her cup, Jo nods and smiles. "I knew the rumors were true," she says.

"Yeah," Kendall replies, laughing softly. "So, I had sex with Carlos the night of the concert and broke up with Dustin the next day. He took it well, I think, and we're still friends but it still hurts, you know? To care about someone that much and to know that you'll never love them like you love someone else..."

"So you and Carlos are happy again?"

Smiling, Kendall nods and drags his teeth along his lower lip. "Yeah, we're perfect. Everything just fell into place once I got back and it was like the past two years never happened. Like the people we were with in that time didn't matter and all."

"It's good to see you happy," Jo whispers, smiling as she reaches over to touch Kendall's hand. "I'm glad we're both happy."

"Me too," he agrees, laughing as he squeezes her hand. "Oh! And I'm an uncle, sort of. I'm not sure if you know Camille Roberts but she's my best friend who's dating my  _other_  best friend. They had a baby in April; his name is Isaac and he's so fucking cute."

Jo grins and giggles quietly. "I know of Camille," she answers, pulling her hand back.

"And... Carlos and I are getting married."

When she hears that, Jo's eyes go wide and a grin breaks across her face. "Seriously?"

"Yep," Kendall confirms, nodding his head slowly. "After I get off tour."

"That's great! Am I invited?"

Kendall snorts and rolls his eyes playfully. "If you're still around," he answers.

"Good," she says, smiling as she bites her lip. "I would have invited you to my wedding but it clashed with your tour."

"It's alright." Waving a hand, Kendall winks and then picks up his tea. "So, tell me about Daniel."

Something changes in Jo's expression when Kendall brings her fiance up and he smiles, taking a sip of tea before setting it down and folding his hands as she talks.

"Well," she starts, chewing on the edge of her lip, "he's a couple of years older than me. I was a freshman in college when we met and he was a senior, working on getting his Masters in Clinical Psychology. We hit it off right away and started dating before the middle of the semester. It was hard, of course, because he was always working on school work and he had gotten an internship but we made it work. Then he asked me to marry him at the beginning of this year and, well, I said yes."

"He sounds great," Kendall says, smiling stupidly. "And he's handsome, too."

Jo blushes and nods quickly. "And funny, smart, considerate, kind, and he's just... perfect. For me, anyway."

"I'm glad you found someone, Jo."

"Me too," she replies, touching Kendall's hand again. "I'm glad you have Carlos. He sounds like he's perfect for you."

Kendall bites his lip and laughs, swallowing thickly before replying, "He is perfect for me. I don't know what I did to deserve him, honestly."

"Have you been to James' grave yet?" Jo asks, out of the blue.

"Not yet. I was going to head over after seeing you," he admits, licking his lips slowly before downing half of his tea. "I feel kind of bad, you know, because I haven't been to his grave and I haven't seen his mom. I mean, she sends emails whenever she can and her last one was to congratulate me on my success but... it feels weird, you know?"

Nodding, Jo rubs her hand against his and smiles. "It'll stop being weird," she says and pulls her hand away, sighing. "I hate to run, but.."

"No, it's alright. I've got a long day ahead of me, too." Kendall smiles and stands when Jo does, going over to hug her. "Send me wedding pictures and add me on Facebook, okay?"

"I thought I did," she mumbles, making a face when they ease apart.

Kendall shakes his head and raises a brow. "On my new one?"

"Oh, probably not." Jo laughs and shakes her head, grabbing her cup and purse. "It was nice seeing you, Kendall."

"You too," he replies, smiling brightly. "We'll all get together when I get back home, okay?"

Smiling back, Jo nods and leans up on her tiptoes to kiss Kendall's cheek. "See you around," she says when she pulls away, giving him one last smile before walking out of the coffee shop, slinging her purse over her shoulder as she does. He watches her for a moment and then grabs his tea, downing the rest of it as he walks to the door, tossing it in a trash can before heading out into the parking lot. Jo waves at him as she backs out and he returns the gesture, watching her car disappear before he gets into his (Camille's).

Kendall starts the car, backs out of his spot, and heads to the road, going toward the graveyard with a knot in his stomach. He drives below the speed limit and taps his fingers against the steering wheel, keeping the radio turned down the entire way. When he gets to the cemetery, Kendall parks across the street and gets out, locking the car before shoving his hands into his pockets, running across the road before cars start coming. The closer he gets to the graves, the more Kendall's stomach twists and knots, making him feel nauseous; he wonders if that feeling will ever go away and, if it does, when it will.

* * *

 _[Logan]_   **[same time]**

The ring feels heavy in Logan's pocket as he waits for Camille to come back. He keeps swallowing over and over, rubbing his hands on his jeans to wipe the sweat away but it just comes back, slicking his skin even more. The plan had been to ask her the moment she got home, knowing that he would have a small window of opportunity to do so before they went to his parents' house for dinner... but now Logan's wondering if he should even do it at all. He loves Camille, of course, but he's not sure if this is the right thing to do, asking her to marry him when they're just fine doing what they have been for months.

When he hears the car pull in, Logan goes to the door and watches Camille get out, smiling softly. He goes outside and heads over to the car, sliding his hands around her hips before leaning down to kiss her, smiling against her lips. When they ease apart, Logan goes to the back door and opens it, leaning in to unbuckle Isaac's car seat before hefting it out of the car, shutting the door with his hip. Camille raises an eyebrow at him and shrugs as she turns to go inside, carrying a bag on either shoulder.

"Did you have fun at your mom's?" Logan asks once they're inside, setting Isaac's seat down on the floor before bending to push the handle back, smiling at his son before taking him out and holding him close to his chest.

"I guess so," Camille answers, dropping the baby's bag on the couch before turning to look at Logan, smiling. "He probably needs a nap. You wanna put him in his crib?"

Logan smiles back and nods, rocking Isaac slowly. "I'll be back," he announces before heading up the stairs and to the nursery.

When he gets there, Logan looks down at Isaac and shakes his head when he sees that the baby is already asleep. He lays him down in the crib, covers him with a blanket, and leans down to kiss his forehead gently before grabbing the baby monitor and heading back downstairs. The volume on the monitor gets turned all the way up and Logan goes to the kitchen, finding Camille there, leaning against one of the counters.

"Out like a light," he says, waving the monitor around before setting it down.

Camille smiles and walks over to Logan, wrapping both arms around his waist. "I'm tired," she mumbles.

"I'm sorry. You can go take a nap, if you want. I'll keep an ear out for Isaac."

"No, I'm fine." Yawning quietly, Camille presses her face against Logan's chest and then looks up at him. "What'd you do today?"

Shrugging a shoulder, Logan wraps his arms around Camille's and smiles softly. "I went shopping with Kendall," he answers.

"Oh?"

"Mhm."

"What'd you go shopping for?"

"Manly things," Logan replies, cracking a grin when Camille pulls her eyebrows together, giving him a skeptical look. "We got... stuff."

Sighing, Camille shakes her head and presses her cheek against Logan's chest. "Okay, don't tell me."

"I will tell you, I just..."

"Just what?"

Logan swallows thickly and drops his arms before backing away from Camille, giving her a nervous smile as he fishes the small box out of his pocket before dropping onto his knee in front of her. He opens the box, takes her hand in his, and licks his lips slowly, trying to find the strength to get the words out. When Logan opens his mouth, no words come out and he sighs, frustrated, before clearing his throat to start over.

"I love you," he starts, rubbing his thumb along the back of Camille's fingers, "and I've loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. Who knew we'd be together and have a beautiful child? I didn't and, honestly, I wouldn't trade it in for the world because I love our family. You and Isaac are my entire life and I want to always be there for both of you until the day I die because I can't imagine my life without you. I want to be by your side for however long you'll let me and I want to be able to call you my wife, instead of my girlfriend or the mother of my child."

Taking a breath, Logan swallows and squeezes her hand. "Camille Roberts, will you marry me?"

Camille bites her lip and looks at the ring with tears in her eyes, flicking her gaze to Logan as she nods slowly.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes," she answers, her voice cracking slightly. "Yes, of course I'll marry you."

Logan blinks and stands up, wrapping his arms around Camille, kissing the top of her head. "Really?"

"Oh my god," Camille says, laughing as she hugs Logan, shaking her head when they pull away. "Are you doubting me?"

"No, I just..." Shrugging, Logan takes the ring out of the box and holds Camille's left hand, sliding it onto her finger. "I love you," he whispers, looking at her with a soft smile. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she answers, leaning up to kiss Logan's lips over and over until he pulls back, laughing. "So you took Kendall to get a ring for me?"

Pursing his lips, Logan shrugs and brushes his nose against Camille's. "Something like that."

"Mm.. okay. I'm going to lay down." Camille pulls away and puts her hand in Logan's. "Wanna come with me?"

"For a nap or sex?"

Camille just rolls her eyes and pulls Logan out of the kitchen, leading him to the staircase. She takes him up to the bedroom and leaves the bedroom door open so they can hear Isaac when he wakes up, letting go of Logan's hand so she can take her pants off. Logan watches her and cocks his head to the side, licking his lips before following suit and taking his own clothes off, getting down to his boxers before crawling onto the bed beside her. She presses up against him and tangles their legs together, resting her head on the middle of his chest, yawning.

They lay there for a while and Logan plays with her hair, listening to her soft breath as she falls asleep. He smiles and rests his hand between her shoulders as he nuzzles back against the pillow, sighing softly as his eyes slide shut. It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep and they sleep peacefully until Isaac wakes them up an hour later.

* * *

**[Kendall]**

James' grave is covered in flowers; some of them are fresh and others are dead, withered away by the weather. Kendall swallows hard when he sees it, suddenly wishing that he would have brought something with him and making a mental note to stop by the flower store in the morning and swing by before they leave to go to another city. When he gets close enough, Kendall takes his hands out of his pockets and kneels beside the grave, brushing fallen petals away from the grass, sighing heavily.

"Sorry I haven't been around," he says, running a hand through his hair as he stares at James' headstone, biting down on his lip. "There's a lot to tell you and I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I could tell you that I got a record deal and we put our our first CD last Christmas. It's a huge success and now we're on our tour which is why I'm here, talking to you now... and I'm sorry I didn't bring anything, I forgot. Tomorrow, though, I'll bring something... maybe roses."

Kendall chuckles dryly and moves his hand, touching James' name. "It's been two years and it doesn't feel real, even now. I mean, I still think that I'm going to wake up and everything is going to be like it was; I won't be famous, Carlos won't be in the picture, and my parents would still be together and you'd still be ashamed of me. Sometimes I miss those days and others... well, other times I'm glad they're gone. I miss  _you_  but I don't miss the way you treated me."

The wind blows and Kendall closes his eyes, dropping his hand to the grass. He sucks in a breath and feels a few tears slip out, which he wipes away quickly with his other hand, blinking his eyes open slowly. Staring down at the grass and the petals covering the lower part of James' headstone, he bites his lip and brushes them away slowly, fingers running along the edge of the stone.

"I'm an uncle," he says, chuckling quietly. "Camille had a baby with Logan and it's great. His name is Isaac and he's the cutest thing I've ever seen, minus those pictures of you when you were a kid. I'm also newly engaged and you're the second person that knows about it, besides Carlos, and I think that you would be happy for me now that I've got someone who loves me. Carlos and I weren't doing well before but now... we're alright. It's going to be a while before things are back to the way they were before but they'll get there."

Silence; the wind blows again.

"My parents are divorced. Which isn't surprising, right? I don't talk to my dad anymore and I kind of wish you were still here so that we could talk about how badly it sucks to have parents that are split up... but my mom's doing okay. She seems happier, you know, without my dad and she's got her own place now. She's a part of Isaac's life and I think Logan and Camille see her as a second - or third? - mom." Kendall takes a deep breath and scratches the back of his neck, exhaling slowly. "The album is kind of a memorial to you and I'm glad I get to tell my story to the world," he whispers, sniffling quietly.

A car goes down the road and their brakes squeal.

Kendall sighs and kisses his fingertips before pressing them against the headstone, right under James' name. "I still love you and I'll come visit you as often as I can when I get off tour," he whispers, running his fingertips down the length of the stone before pulling his hand away. The wind blows again and he smiles, listening to the leaves rustle above him as he pushes himself onto his feet, a few more tears slipping out. "If you're still hanging around, let me know sometime."

After that, Kendall goes back to the car and scrubs a hand down his face when he slides behind the wheel, sighing heavily. He turns the engine on and pulls away from the curb, heading back to his mother's house feeling better than the did before. It always makes him feel better to go talk to James and he knows that he should do it whenever he can, making a mental note to actually follow through with that instead of just saying that he will.

**x x**

Carlos is gone when Kendall gets to his mom's but he finds a note explaining that he went to his parent's house (got a taxi to take him there) and that he'll be there waiting. He smiles at the message and puts it in his pocket as he heads downstairs to change into something a little more presentable (a pair of nicer jeans, a black tank top, and a blue plaid shirt) before heading out to the Garcia house. The entire way, his stomach twists in knots and he wonders if Carlos actually kept their secret from his parents.

The Garcia house looks the same as it did when Kendall left and he smiles at the flood of memories that come to him. He parks in the driveway, gets out, and straightens his clothes before heading up to the porch to knock on the door, rocking back and forth on his heels after he does. Someone walks toward the door and they're laughing; Kendall can't tell who it is until the door is opened and he smiles brightly at Carlos' mother.

"Kendall!" Sylvia says, holding her arms out for a hug. "You look different!"

Smiling and blushing, Kendall moves forward to hug his future mother in law. "Thanks," he says, laughing. "You look as beautiful as ever."

"Always with the flattery," she says, chuckling as they ease apart. "The men are in the kitchen."

"As they should be, right?"

Sylvia laughs again and shuts the door, nodding. "Right!"

They go to the kitchen and Carlos smiles brightly when Kendall walks through the door, abandoning his beer to go kiss his fiance. "Hey," he says.

"Hey," Kendall replies, smiling against Carlos' lips. "Do I get a beer?"

"You can have whatever you want." Miguel smiles and comes over, clapping his hand against Kendall's, shaking it firmly. "How's it going, rock star?"

Kendall shrugs a shoulder and chuckles. "It's going well, sir."

"What's this with the 'sir'? Call me Miguel or  _Papi_."

"Papi," Carlos whines, nudging his shoulder against his father's.

Making a face, Miguel turns to look at his son and nods, laughing softly. "Okay, okay," he says, holding his hands up. "So, tell us: how's the tour?"

"The tour is just fine," Kendall answers, grinning as he wraps an arm around Carlos' waist. "I'm happy to be home for a while, though."

"We're happy to have you here," Sylvia says as she stirs something on the stove. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Sit, sit; have a beer."

The three men take a seat at the table and Carlos sits next to Kendall, lacing their fingers together underneath the table. His mother brings Kendall a beer and he thanks her, twisting the top off before taking a long pull, setting the bottle back onto the table when he's done. A conversation sparks between Carlos and his dad and Kendall just listens to it, squeezing his fiance's hand every few minutes, wondering when they're going to drop the bomb.

**x x**

Forty five minutes later, Kendall takes the dirty plates to the sink and sets them down carefully before turning to lean against the counter, wrapping his hands around the edge. He watches Carlos put the leftovers away and waits until he's done to go over to him, wrapping both arms around his waist before pulling him close and kissing his lips softly. When they ease apart, Kendall drags his tongue from one corner of his mouth to the other, moving his hands along Carlos' back.

"Are we going to tell them now?"

"Probably should," Carlos answers, dragging both hands through Kendall's hair.

Kendall nods and leans down to kiss Carlos one last time before pulling away. "Put the ring on," he says and moves a hand down, smacking Carlos' ass lightly, grinning as he heads toward the living room. He takes a seat in the chair beside the couch and motions Carlos over when he comes in, letting him sit on his lap.

"We have something to tell you," Carlos says, chewing on his lip as he folds his hand on his lap, covering the left one with the right.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: happiness.]

The atmosphere in the room changes with those six little words and no one says anything for a while; everyone just looks at one another and time drags on. The only noise in the room is the ticking of the clock, and Kendall fidgets in his seat, wrapping both arms around Carlos as he opens his mouth to finally break the silence. He's about to say something to his future in-laws when the door opens and shuts, causing them all to look toward the noise. Alex steps into view and smiles at everyone, taking her backpack off before letting it fall to the floor, eyes going to Kendall before a grin spreads across her face.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be home until later," Carlos comments and leans back against Kendall, moving a hand onto his fiance's.

Alex shrugs and bounds over, taking a seat between Sylvia and Miguel. "Brittany's mom brought me home early," she answers.

"Well," Kendall says, leaning forward to rest his chin on Carlos' shoulder, "it's good that you're here. Now we don't have to tell everyone separately."

"Do you want to tell them or should I?" As he speaks, Carlos turns slightly to look at Kendall, smiling.

Pursing his lips, Kendall shrugs and returns the smile. "They're your family," he replies.

"Will someone  _please_  tell us already?" Slyvia asks and Carlos turns red, nodding slowly as he turns to look at his parents.

"Kendall and I have some big news," he starts, running his fingers over the back of Kendall's hand, "and we want you guys to have an open mind, okay? We know that we just got back together and everything's moving fast but... I love him and he loves me."

Miguel leans forward and puts his hands on his knees as he looks at his son. "Spit it out, Litos."

"Alright, Papi." Sighing, Carlos lifts his left hand and scrubs it down his face, dragging his nails along his jaw. "Kendall and I," he pauses, swallows hard, and continues, "are getting married."

No one responds right away and Carlos swallows again, looking at his family with a soft smile. He squeezes Kendall's hand and his nerves settle when his fiance squeezes back, his other hand moving along Carlos' side as they watch Sylvia, Miguel, and Alex on the couch. A total of five minutes passes before anyone moves or says anything and Sylvia is the first to break the silence.

"My baby is getting married!" Clapping a hand over her mouth, Sylvia shakes her head and smiles against her fingers.

Alex gets off the couch and goes to hug Carlos, smiling brightly when she pulls back. "I'm happy for you," she says, and then she looks at Kendall before leaning in to kiss his cheek, giggling when she eases away. "You're going to be my brother. I'm going to have a famous brother, holy  _shit_!"

"Alex! Watch your language," Miguel chastises and Alex blushes, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Sorry, Papi," she mutters, giving Kendall and Carlos another smile before going back to the couch.

Carlos laughs and rubs a hand over his cheek. "So, what do you think, Papi?"

"I think that you two are made for each other," he answers, giving his son a huge smile. "I'm happy for you, Litos, and I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy. That's all we've ever wanted for you and it didn't matter whether you fell in love with a boy or a girl; as long as you were happy, we were."

"Aw, dad..."

Shaking his head, Miguel wipes his eyes and his smile softens as he turns to Kendall. "Thank you for making him happy," he says, voice soft.

"Thank you for letting me make him happy," Kendall replies, tightening his arms around Carlos' middle. "I'm so glad you approve of me and that you're letting me marry your son. You have no idea how happy that makes me and... I want you guys to know that I will do everything in my power to always make Carlos happy."

"We know you will," Sylvia says, tears rimming her eyes as she continues, "and we know that you two will be happy for the rest of your lives. Carlos is a good boy, Kendall, but so are you. You're smart, sweet, considerate, and I've never seen Carlos love someone else as much as he loves you."

That makes Kendall blush and he hides his face in Carlos' shirt. "Thank you," he mumbles against the fabric before pulling away, his own eyes misty and glazed over with tears. "Seriously, thank you. You two raised a wonderful man and I'm so glad that I'm allowed to love him because he's what I need in my life, after everything that's happened."

"So," Miguel says, laughing as he scratches his jaw, "when are you two getting married?"

"Not until sometime after August," Kendall answers, pulling Carlos back against his chest. "The tour ends, officially, the first week of August but I have to spend a little more time in California to take care of some personal things and to pack up all my stuff before I can come home. I figure that we'll work on wedding plans while I'm on the road and maybe Mrs. Garcia and my mom can help out."

Sylvia smiles and nods her head, sniffling softly. "I would love to help."

"Me too," Alex adds, bouncing up and down on the couch. "I wanna help plan Litos' wedding!"

"You can be a flower girl," Carlos jokes, sticking his tongue out at his sister when she pouts. "No, I'm just kidding. You can help with some of the stuff, okay? Like flowers and what kind of cake we're going to get."

Kendall pouts and tangles his fingers with Carlos'. "Don't I get to help with that?"

"If you're back from tour in time." Smirking slightly, Carlos turns and kisses Kendall's cheek before turning back to his parents. "So, you guys are seriously okay with me getting married so young? And when Kendall and I have only been together, collectively, for a few months?"

"Son, your mother and I got married not long after we got together. It's tradition in the Garcia family to get married quickly and I honestly always expected you to follow in my footsteps," Miguel says, smiling.

Carlos nods and smiles, biting his lower lip softly. "I'm glad you guys are okay with this," he whispers when he lets go of his lip, sighing contentedly as he plays with Kendall's fingers idly. "I don't know what I would have done without you guys while Kendall and I weren't together. You all kept me together and I love you guys so much."

"We love you too," Slyvia says, smiling as she stands and walks over, leaning down to hug Carlos. "And why wouldn't we be happy for you? You're an adult, baby, you can do whatever you want... and we're just glad that it's Kendall and not..."

"Not Sam," Carlos finishes for her, nodding curtly as he swallows. "I would have never married him because he was an asshole."

Chewing the inside of his lip, Kendall kisses Carlos' shoulder lightly. "You don't have to worry about that with me, okay? I've been an asshole once and, like I said earlier, I will spend my entire life making that up to you. I don't care what it takes, Litos, I will make up for it."

"I already forgive you."

"Not good enough for me," Kendall murmurs, smiling softly.

"Look at you two," Miguel laughs, shaking his head as he stands, stretching slightly. "Already fighting like a married couple."

A blush creeps along Carlos' cheeks and he scrunches his nose, looking down at the carpet. "Do not," he mumbles.

"Do so," Alex and Sylvia say at the time, which causes all of them to laugh.

"Well, we should probably get going, huh? We're supposed to be going to Logan and Camille's tonight." Kendall sighs and reluctantly lets go of Carlos' hand to let him stand up, following right behind him. He stretches and lifts his arms above his head, yawning quietly. "And I've gotta go to bed early so I can get up when my mom gets home to tell her about us."

Sylvia comes forward and hugs Kendall when he drops his arms. "You're leaving tomorrow, right?"

"Right," he answers, smiling as he hugs back. "But I'll be back before you all know it."

"Good." With a smile, Sylvia pulls back and puts her hands on Kendall's cheeks, sighing deeply. "We love you," she says.

Kendall nods slowly and smiles back, feeling tears rim his eyes. "I love you guys too," he whispers.

"Have a safe trip and enjoy the rest of your tour, okay?" Sylvia drops her hands and Kendall nods again.

"I will," he replies and leans down to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you guys in August."

When Slyvia moves away, Alex comes forward and wraps her arms around Kendall's middle. "Buy me something from every city," she says.

"Alex!" Carlos laughs and shakes his head. "You can't just demand that," he chastises.

"Oops," she mumbles as she pulls away, grinning when she looks up at Kendall. "Could you  _please_  get me something from every city you go to?"

"I'll see what I can do." Chuckling, Kendall pulls her in for another hug and then shoos her away when Miguel steps up with his hand extended.

"It was nice seeing you," he says, shaking their hands when Kendall's slides into his own. "Be careful, okay?"

A smile pulls the corners of Kendall's mouth up and he nods quickly. "Will do, sir," he replies, before wrapping his arms around Miguel, hugging him.

"Alright, alright," Miguel says, laughing as he claps a hand on Kendall's back. "That's enough."

"Sorry." Biting back a laugh, Kendall eases away and drops his arms, smiling brightly when Carlos takes his hand. "See you guys later," he says, tipping his head toward his in-laws before letting Carlos pull him toward the door, swinging their arms in between them. When they get to the door, they turn back to wave and then head outside, both of them taking a huge breath before laughing and Kendall pulls Carlos against him, leaning down to kiss his lips softly.

Carlos pulls away and giggles, biting at the skin of his lip softly. "To Logan and Camille's?"

"To Logan and Camille's," Kendall confirms, nodding as they move off the porch and toward the car.

Kendall opens the passenger side door for Carlos and shuts it once he's inside before heading around to the driver's side. He climbs in behind the steering wheel, puts the keys into the ignition, and turns the engine on, letting it rev for a moment as he looks at Carlos, grinning. After a moment, he puts the car in reverse and pulls out of the driveway before shifting into drive and heading toward Camille and Logan's, holding a hand out for Carlos and smiling when rough skin slides against his own.

The drive is quiet and Kendall revels in the silence with Carlos, holding onto his hand the entire way with their fingers squeezing together every once in a while. By the time they get to their friends' house and the car is parked behind Logan's, Kendall doesn't want to let go of his fiance's hand but he does so, reluctantly, until they're both out of the car. Once they're out, he slides his hand into Carlos' again and squeezes, smiling brightly as they head to the front door, stopping for a moment to contemplate knocking before just going in.

"Hello?" Carlos calls out once they step inside, letting the door shut behind them.

When the door shuts, Logan steps out of the living room with Isaac in his arms. "Hey," he says, grinning. "Come on in. Camille's in the kitchen."

"You look happy," Kendall comments, winking as he and Carlos follow Logan into the kitchen, breathing in deeply. "Did Camille make dessert?"

"Yep." With a laugh, Logan moves to the counter and rocks Isaac back and forth. "What's up with you guys?"

Shrugging, Kendall lets go of Carlos' hand and goes to see the baby, making a face at him. "We were visiting Carlos' parents," he answers.

"Oh yeah?" Camille asks, turning away from the cake she was frosting to look at the boys, smiling. "How are they doing?"

Carlos heads over to where Camille is and he swipes his finger into the bowl of frosting. "They're good," he says, smiling as he licks the icing off the tip of his finger, humming happily at the taste. "Did you make this homemade?"

"Mhm," she answers, wrinkling her nose as she turns to continue frosting. "I'll be done with it in a minute."

"Good," Kendall says, not taking his eyes away from Isaac who's looking up at him with big eyes. "Hey, little buddy. How was your day?" The baby makes a noise that sounds happy and Kendall laughs, leaning down to kiss his forehead gently before straightening up. "We actually have some news for you guys."

Raising a brow, Logan looks at Kendall and tries to keep a straight face. "What news?"

"Do you wanna tell them now," Carlos starts, pausing to swipe more frosting out of the bowl, "or later, when we've had cake?"

"Can tell them now, I guess." With a shrug, Kendall moves over to where Carlos and Camille are, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Carlos and I are betrothed. I have finally popped the question and this lovely gentleman has agreed to marry me," he says, grinning proudly.

Camille squeals and turns, dropping her knife into the bowl. "Oh my god, you're serious!"

"Deadly," Carlos answers, nodding as he scoops more icing onto his finger before licking it off.

"Well, we have news for you guys, too." As he speaks, Logan stands carefully and comes over to Camille, shifting Isaac in his arms carefully. "We're getting marred, too," he says, smiling at Carlos before turning to Kendall, winking playfully.

Carlos stares at his friend, with his finger between his lips, and then laughs. "Oh my god," he says, dropping his hand to his side to wipe his finger on his jeans, eyes darting between Camille and Logan. "Wait... this doesn't just feel like a coincidence."

"That's because it's not," Kendall mutters, squeezing Carlos' hip.

"It was Kendall's idea and we got the rings together." The smile on Logan's face broadens, setting his dimples deep in his cheeks.

Arching a brow, Camille turns to look at Logan before glancing at Kendall. "So, you two had an engagement pact?"

"I guess you can call it that." Shrugging, Kendall moves his hand away from Carlos and gets some frosting, licking it off his finger quickly. "Is that a bad thing? I mean, it's not like I pressure Logan into doing it because he wanted to marry you anyway."

Logan turns a deep shade of crimson and he bites at the skin of his lip. "Yeah, but he did give me the kick I needed to actually  _do it_ ," he adds.

"That is something I did," Kendall mutters, grinning as he drops his hand to his side. "Now, can we celebrate with some cake?"

**x x**

While Camille and Carlos plate the cake, Kendall goes upstairs to put Isaac in his crib. He spends a few minutes just looking down at the baby and smiling, wondering how someone so small could affect so many lives and make them better. Before he leaves the room, he kisses Isaac's head and grabs the baby monitor on his way to the door, turning it all the way up as he heads down the stairs quickly. When he gets to the kitchen, Kendall goes to sit at the table and kisses Carlos' cheek, setting the monitor on the middle of the table between all of them before taking a bite of cake.

Carlos takes a few bites and then reaches his hand across to Camille, wiggling his fingers. "Lemme see your ring," he says, grinning.

"Alright but you have to show me yours, too." Camille smiles and holds her left hand out to Carlos, who whistles when he sees the ring.

"Sometimes I wish I could get away with wearing something like this," he mutters, shaking his head as he brings his own hand up, showing it to his friend with a smile, "but this is perfect... mostly because Kendall got it for me."

Blushing, Kendall looks down and keeps eating his cake, licking his lips slowly. "It was either that or something with a bedazzled cross on it," he says.

"Carlos could pull off the bedazzled cross," Camille says, biting her lower lip softly before giggling and covering her mouth. "I'm sorry."

"They were gaudy and ugly." Shrugging, Kendall finishes off his cake and pushes the plate away. "Now we just have to tell my mom," he says and sighs softly as he lifts his arms, bending them behind his head.

"When are you going to tell her?" Logan asks, licking his lips slowly as he looks at his friend.

Kendall moves his head from side to side and shrugs again. "Guess I'll get up before she gets home and tell her then. She'll be sleeping in the morning before I leave and I won't be able to see her because she'll be leaving for work," he answers, pursing his lips together.

"Are you going to tell them about our, um, plan?"

"What plan?"

"The one about the wedding," Logan answers, shaking his head as he rolls his eyes playfully. "Or did you forget?"

Blinking, Kendall drops his arms and snaps, pointing at Logan. "Right! Yeah, yeah. I didn't forget, nope," he says, laughing softly.

"Forget about _what_?" Camille asks, retracting her hand away from Carlos' to finish what's on her plate.

"I had an idea about the wedding," Kendall starts as he rests his elbows on the table, steepling his fingers. "I was thinking we could get married on the same day. It would cut down costs and we're going to invite the same people to both weddings, so why not just have one huge celebration?"

Camille purses her lips together between bites, nodding slowly. "I guess that could work. I mean, there are going to be people you know that we don't there, and vice versa, but I think it's a good idea. It'll certain keep the costs down, seeing as I don't want to spend a whole lot on a big wedding."

"I'll pay for it all." Carlos, Camille, and Logan all blink at Kendall when he says that. "What?"

"You can't pay for it all, dude," Logan says, shaking his head as he folds his hands on the table. "I'll help."

"And me," Carlos adds, nudging Kendall's shoulder with his own.

Shaking his head and sighing, Kendall rubs a hand down his face. "That's nice, guys, but I really want to do this for you guys. You're my three best friends and I want to give you the wedding of your lives. Plus, I've got the money and it's not like I'll go broke from paying for everything," he says, splaying his hands before dropping them to the table.

"Well..." Biting her lip, Camille shrugs and then gives Kendall a soft smile. "I guess that's okay but I'm going to cut way down on everything, you got me? No fancy, twenty-thousand dollar dress for me and no fancy reception, okay? Just a simple service and a plain reception, nothing big."

"Nothing big," Kendall repeats. "Gotcha."

"And you've got to let us work on planning things, too." Logan turns to look at Kendall, grinning.

Pouting slightly, Kendall looks at Logan and then sighs heavily. "Fine, fine. Whatever. I don't think I'd be good at it anyway," he admits, blushing.

"Aw, baby." Carlos smiles and leans over to kiss Kendall's cheek, nuzzling him a bit. "You'll still be a part of the planning," he says when he pulls back.

"I wanna be a part of the cake tasting," Kendall says, turning to look at Carlos and make a face. "I want a delicious cake at our wedding."

Logan laughs and shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "Are we sharing a cake, too?"

"Not unless you two want a different flavor." Grinning, Kendall swivels his head toward Logan and winks. "I personally want, like, a vanilla-chocolate combo with this cookie crumble butter cream I had once in California," he says, sighing dreamily. "That was delicious."

"I'm all for that," Carlos mumbles, licking his lips slowly. "Sounds good right about now."

"You two just ate cake!" Laughing, Camille stands up and takes the plates away. "But that sounds pretty good to me too," she says, looking at Logan.

Scrunching his nose, Logan looks up at her and pulls his eyebrows together. "What?"

"Does it sound good to you?"

"It sounds great," he says, smiling softly. "I was just thinking about how they get cookie crumbs into a butter cream..."

Kendall snorts and starts laughing, covering his mouth with his hand. "They take cookies, crumble them, and fold them into the frosting," he explains in between giggles.

"But that sounds so simple," Logan mumbles, wrinkling his nose with a shrug. "Whatever, I'll eat it anyway."

"Wait, so did we just start planning our wedding?" Carlos asks, arching a brow as he looks between Logan, Camille, and Kendall.

Huffing, Camille shrugs and smiles before turning to take the dishes to the sink. "I guess so," she answers, turning around to lean against the counter, crossing both arms over her chest as she looks at the men. "So, when are we thinking of having this wedding?"

"Sometime after August." Kendall picks at the tablecloth as he speaks, tilting his head to the side. "Maybe in September?"

"That's so soon," Camille murmurs, crossing one leg over the other.

Carlos turns in his seat and shrugs. "We could postpone it, if you guys aren't okay with doing it then," he says, smiling softly at Camille.

"No, I'm okay with it but... how are we supposed to plan an  _entire_  wedding in three months?"

"It's been done before," Logan says, cupping his chin in his hands as he looks over at his fiance. "I mean, if you got some help with it."

"My mom said she'll help."

Nodding, Kendall looks up and cracks a smile. "And I'm sure my mom will help, too."

"So that's the two of us," Carlos says, moving a hand between himself and Kendall, "plus Camille, my mom, your mom, Alex, and possibly Logan's mom."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about my mom." Logan laughs and shakes his head a little. "And Camille's mom," he adds.

After counting on his fingers, Carlos looks at Camille and wiggles eight fingers at her. "That's eight people. We could give each of them a task and that would make things easier, wouldn't it?"

"I guess so." With a smile, Camille pushes off the counter and comes over to the table, standing next to Logan with an arm wrapped around his shoulders. "Now, what day in September?"

"How about September thirtieth? That way it gives you guys more time to get everything together," Kendall says, looking at everyone, smiling when they all nod their heads in agreement to the date. "Great! So, chocolate and vanilla cake with a cookie crumb butter cream and September thirtieth."

Camille laughs and nods her head slowly. "September thirtieth, then."

"September thirtieth," Carlos and Logan say together, tipping their heads toward one another as they laugh.

"You guys can start planning as soon as you want. I won't be home from tour until mid-August, probably, but I can help while I'm on the road and I have down time between shows." Turning sideways in his seat, Kendall puts his hands in his lap and smiles. "I can't believe we're getting married in just a few months."

"Whoever we get to marry us is going to think we're all getting hitched to one another," Logan says and they all laugh. "We're in a polyamorous marriage where there's only one woman and two of the guys only like cock."

Snorting, Kendall leans back and brings his hands up, covering his face. "Oh my god, Logan!"

"What?! It's the truth," he mutters, wrapping both arms around Camille's middle. "I don't wanna share her with you guys anyway; I'm greedy."

"Aw, honey... I'm not going to let you share me with them." Camille laughs and leans down to kiss the top of Logan's head, running a hand along his bicep slowly. "And, don't worry, I'm not going to share you with either of them," she whispers.

"Good, that scares me." Logan shudders a bit and laughs. "Just kidding," he mutters, turning to look at his friends.

Carlos frowns and sniffs loudly, shaking his head. "I'm offended," he says, making his voice sound hurt.

"Oh, bullshit."

"I'm pretty offended too, Logan," Kendall speaks up as he pulls forward, resting an elbow on the table before draping the other one across the back of the chair. "I mean, I've caught you looking at me lots of times."

Logan rolls his eyes and flips Kendall off. "I'm straight, thank you very much."

"Whatever you say, Logie." Giggling, Carlos pats Logan on the back and then stands up, eyes going to the clock on the wall. "Well, we should probably leave you two to do whatever it is people with children do," he mutters, grimacing as he thinks about what he said. "Spare me the details, please."

"I'll have you know that I plan on knitting something for Kendall to take with him when he leaves tomorrow." Camille pouts and makes a 'hmph' noise.

A grin spreads across Kendall's face and he stands. "You're going to make something for me?"

"Well, yeah," she answers, smiling softly. "I know you like beanies, so I was going to make you one tonight. It doesn't take me long to do them anymore because all I did when I was pregnant was knit."

"That's awesome." Kendall's grin widens as he goes to hug Camille and kiss her on the cheek before pulling away. "I like green, blue, black, or gray."

Camille nods and pats his cheek. "Any combination of the two?"

"Gray and black, blue and black, or blue and gray," he answers, dragging his teeth along his lower lip. "I'll see you before I leave."

"See you tomorrow," Camille says, smiling as she hugs him again, holding on tightly.

Logan stands up when the two of them ease apart and he holds his hand out to Kendall. "See you tomorrow, man," he says.

"Yeah," Kendall mutters, nodding as he slaps Logan's hand, "see you tomorrow."

They hug quickly and Kendall squeezes Logan before finally letting him go, laughing when the shorter man complains about the hug. He playfully slaps him on the shoulder and then rolls his eyes, giving his friends a wave before moving out of the kitchen with Carlos in tow. When they get to the door, Carlos and Kendall turn back around to watch their friends walk up the stairs, waving at them one more time before heading out of the house, both of them breathing deeply and taking in the crisp night air before getting in the car to head home.

**x x**

The house is dark and quiet when Kendall pulls into the driveway. He puts the car in park, shuts the engine off, and gets out to go over to Carlos' side to open his door, smiling brightly at his fiance when he gets out before kissing him. Their hands slide together when they ease apart and Kendall tangles their fingers together as they make their way to the front door, only letting his hand drop when he has to unlock the door. Once that's done, he goes inside and flips the light on, taking both of Carlos' hands after laying the keys on the table next to the door, grinning.

"What do you want to do?" Kendall asks, rubbing his fingers along Carlos' hands slowly.

"Anything you want," he answers, smiling broadly.

Humming quietly, Kendall comes forward and drops one of Carlos' hands, lifting his to cup the other man's chin lightly, tilting it up. He smiles and leans down, brushing their mouths together in a soft, chaste kiss before pulling away, gliding his thumb along Carlos' jaw slowly as he slides his eyes shut, breathing in slowly. They stand there in the silence for a moment before Carlos wraps his hands around Kendall's hips and pushes him back toward the kitchen, grinning when he yelps quietly.

"I want to cuddle," Carlos whispers as they make their way through the dark, bumping into things here and there. "I want to hold you and fall asleep because that's what I want to think about for the next couple of months until you're home."

Kendall raises a brow and makes an 'oof' noise when his back hits the basement door. "You don't want to have sex before I leave?"

"Nope, we've had enough sex in the past few days and we have our entire lives to have sex." Smiling, Carlos opens the basement door and flicks the light on before leaning up to kiss Kendall softly. When he pulls away, Carlos moves down the stairs and pulls his clothes off, dropping them into a pile on the floor with his shoes.

Half a minute later, Kendall joins him and takes his own clothes off, tossing them aimlessly onto the floor before crawling into bed with Carlos, turning onto his side so that his back is against the other man's chest. An arm moves around his waist and Kendall feels hot breath against the back of his neck, causing him to shudder lightly and slide his eyes closed, breathing in deeply. He takes Carlos' hand in his own and laces their fingers together, turning his head slightly to kiss his fiance, though the angle is awkward.

"I love you," Kendall whispers when they ease apart, feeling a heat pass through him when he says those words. "I love you so much."

Carlos makes a noise in the back of his throat and brushes his nose along Kendall's cheek, nodding. "I love you too," he replies.

"Gotta set an alarm for four so I can be up when my mom gets home." The words come out as barely a breath and Kendall yawns quietly, reluctantly moving away from Carlos to stand up and get his phone from his pants pocket. When he comes back, he sets four alarms for four-thirty AM and sets the device on the nightstand before crawling back onto the mattress.

"Now, go to sleep." Carlos chuckles softly and pulls the blankets over them before wrapping his arms around Kendall again, pulling him back against his chest tightly before burying his face against the other man's neck. He breathes in and out slowly, running his fingers along Kendall's stomach lightly, listening to the sounds of their breathing and the faint beating of Kendall's heart. "See you in the morning," he murmurs, yawning after.

Yawning, Kendall nods and snuggles against the pillow, laying his hand on Carlos'. "See you in the mornin'."

They fall asleep soon after that and Kendall spends the rest of the night laying with Carlos' arms around him.

**x x**

Kendall wakes up when the first alarm plays and he quickly turns it off, groaning as he turns over onto his back and rubs a hand down his face, yawning as he scratches his jaw. He turns his head to look over at his right and smiles when he sees Carlos, just barely visible from the light coming from upstairs, and he leans over to kiss his shoulder lightly. When the second alarm sounds, Kendall shuts it off and turns the ringer down on his phone before getting out of bed, nearly stumbling on his way to the stairs.

When he finally gets to the stairs, Kendall goes up them quietly and shuts the door behind him once he's in the kitchen, yawning loudly as he goes to turn on the lights. Once the kitchen is fully illuminated and he can see without feeling like he's going to go blind, Kendall goes to the coffee pot and takes the old filter out, throwing it in the trash before going to get another. He fixes the coffee and turns it on, scrubbing one hand down the side of his face as he scratches along the waistband of his boxers.

As he waits for the coffee to get done, Kendall goes into the living room and lays on the couch, grabbing the remote off the coffee table before flicking the television on. He turns the volume down and flips through the channels, making a face at everything that's on before he gets to the movie channels and spots an old horror movie that's playing. After selecting that channel, Kendall lays back and folds his arms behind his head, eyes glued to the screen and the zombie that's chasing a woman across a graveyard.

Jennifer comes in half an hour later and Kendall jumps when she flips the light on, his heart beating a mile a minute as he sits up and grabs the remote, turning the TV off quickly. He puts a hand over his heart and takes deep breaths, trying to calm his heart rate while his mom stands at the door with a bag in one hand and a confused expression on her face.

"Are you alright?"

"Me?" Kendall pants, nodding slowly as he stands, licking his lips. "I'm okay, just had a little jump-scare, no big deal."

Nodding slowly, Jennifer smiles and walks into the kitchen, sighing at the smell of coffee. "Is there any reason you're up watching horror movies?"

"I was waiting for you to get home," he answers, following his mother into the kitchen. "Because I have something to tell you."

"Oh?" Jennifer asks, setting a bag on the table before turning to look at her son. "What's that?"

Kendall swallows thickly and rubs a hand along the back of his neck. "I'm getting married," he whispers, cheeks burning up once the words are out.

"You're getting...  _what_?"

"Married. Hitched. Tying the knot," Kendall says, smiling softly as he grips the back of a chair, waiting for his mom to say something.

Jennifer blinks slowly and shakes her head, grinning. "You and Carlos...?"

"Me and Carlos."

"When did this happen?"

Shrugging and chuckling, Kendall lifts a hand to scratch his jaw lightly. "Today," he says, simply, giving his mother a smile.

"Oh my god, Kendall. I didn't know you were that serious but... I'm happy for you two," Jennifer says, smiling more as she comes over to hug Kendall tightly, kissing his cheek when she pulls away, keeping him at arms length. "So, when's the wedding date?"

"September thirtieth," Kendall answers, smiling brightly. "Logan and Camille are getting married too."

"Holy shit, are you serious! It's about time those kids got married." Chuckling, Jennifer shakes her head and drops her hands. "When's their wedding?"

Kendall smirks and drags his tongue from one corner of his mouth to the other. "September thirtieth," he says.

"Septem - wait, the same day as you and Carlos?" Kendall nods and bites his lip. "So are you four getting married on the same day?"

"That's the plan," he answers, bobbing his head slightly. "We want you to help with the planning, if you want, and I wanted to tell you first but you were at work and I didn't want to bother you by calling."

"Oh, honey," Jennifer murmurs, shaking her head again. "You wouldn't be bothering me if you called to tell me that... but I'm glad you did it in person."

"Me too." With a smile, Kendall hugs his mom and yawns, easing away. "I'm going to let you go to bed now and I'm going to join Carlos again."

Jennifer nods and smiles, yawning quietly. "Okay," she whispers, before staring at Kendall with her eyebrows knit together. "What about the coffee?"

"Oh shit..." Huffing, Kendall shrugs and then smirks. "It'll be alright, I guess. If not, I'll make some more."

"Be sure you turn the maker off before you go back to bed," Jennifer says, patting Kendall on the arm as she walks past him. "I'm going to bed."

Kendall goes over to turn the coffee pot off and watches his mom walk away. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Maybe, if you stop by the hospital on your way out!" Jennifer calls back, lifting a hand over her head to wave at Kendall, wiggling her fingers at him.

Rolling his eyes and laughing, Kendall moves to the basement door and goes back down the stairs, crawling into bed with Carlos. He presses his front against the other man's back and snuggles down in the covers, resting a hand on Carlos' stomach, breathing softly against his neck. Kendall smiles and yawns quietly to himself before letting sleep take him once more, his legs tangling with Carlos'.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: domestic Kenlos, sadness, tears.]

Kendall wakes up in the morning with Carlos' limbs tangled with his own and he doesn't want to move, doesn't want to disturb his fiance, but he knows that he has to check the clock to see how much time he has left with his family. He doesn't know exactly what time they're leaving but he does know that they've leaving sometime in the afternoon which is, honestly, sooner than Kendall likes because he doesn't want to leave at all. Leaving Minnesota means he won't see his family for another couple of months and Kendall doesn't know if he can do that again, especially after everything that's happened.

With a heavy sigh, Kendall leans down to kiss the top of Carlos' head before he starts to disentangle himself from the other man, groaning when he nearly rolls off the edge of the bed. He finally gets away from his fiance's death grip and stands up, grabbing his phone from the nightstand with a yawn, scrubbing a hand down his face as he unlocks the device, staring at it with wide eyes when he sees that it's nearly ten in the morning.

"Shit," he mutters, locking his phone before going to the stairs, climbing them quickly to turn the light on. "Shit, fuck!"

Carlos stirs on the bed when Kendall curses and hums sleepily, blinking his eyes open. "Kendall?"

"Hey, sorry I woke you." Sighing, Kendall goes over to the bed and leans down, kissing Carlos softly. "I need to get my shit packed so I can spend as much time as possible with you before I leave," he whispers, brushing the tips of their noses together.

"What time do you leave? Carlos' voice is quiet and rough, heavy with sleep, and Kendall smiles when he hears it.

"I don't know. I have to text Dustin and see," he answers.

Nodding, Carlos yawns and pulls away slowly. "Go pack your stuff," he says.

"I love you." Kendall says this with a smile before leaning down to kiss Carlos again. When he straightens up, he moves over to where his bag is and he leans down to grab it, zipping it open as he makes his way around the room, grabbing clothing from the floor. He should wash his clothes but that would be a major set back, so he decides to wait until they're in another city to get his laundry done.

From the bed, Carlos watches him and yawns heavily, pulling a pillow down across his bicep before laying his head on it. He stretches his arm out from underneath it and nuzzles his head against it, letting out another soft yawn as his eyes follow Kendall's every move, lips curving into a soft smile as he watches the other man. Carlos' eyes slide shut eventually and he tucks his hand underneath his cheek as he breathes slowly, letting sleep take him for a few minutes. When he wakes up, Kendall's standing at the end of the bed with a grin on his face.

"Still sleepy?" he asks.

"Mm," Carlos hums, shaking his head as he sits up, stretching. "Maybe a little."

Kendall nods slowly, purses his lips, and looks down at the shirt in his hands, folding it for the third time. "I don't want to leave," he admits in a hushed voice but even he can hear the cracking of the words; the pain that hides behind them.

"I know."

"I wish I could bring you with me." As he speaks, Kendall shoves the shirt into the bag with unnecessary roughness and then looks up at Carlos, his green eyes heavy with pain and sadness of having to leave him, yet again. "It would be so much easier," he says.

Shaking his head, Carlos sits on his knees and moves forward, taking one of Kendall's hands. "It'll be over before you know it," comes his whispered response and Kendall nods slowly, focusing on the warm fingers moving along his own, squeezing for reassurance. "I'll have wedding plans to occupy me and you'll have shows, meet and greets, interviews, and rogue bras to deal with."

"You make it sound like this is going to be easy for me," Kendall murmurs, closing his eyes as he turns his hand, slotting his fingers with Carlos'. "Why?"

"Because one of us has to believe that this is going to be easy and that we'll get through it, like we've gotten through nearly everything." Carlos doesn't just say 'everything', of course, and Kendall picks up on that, his lips curving downward into a frown. "We'll make it through this, okay? We will."

The way Carlos words everything, and the soft voice he uses, makes Kendall feel a fraction of a percent better than he did before. He's still worried that something will happen and they won't make it through this, that they'll make it far enough to realize that they're both making a huge mistake. That isn't what Kendall thinks this is, a mistake, but that doesn't stop him from wondering what Carlos thinks about it all. If he thinks this isn't the right thing to do or if he feels like they should wait.

After a moment of silence, Kendall opens his eyes and brings Carlos' hand to his mouth, kissing the back of his knuckles. "What do you want to do?"

"Could spend the rest of the time with Camille, Logan, and Isaac. You know, as one big happy family," Carlos suggests.

"Family," Kendall parrots, nodding slowly as he brushes his lips along the other man's skin, breathing softly. "Let's eat breakfast first, though."

Carlos nods and lets Kendall pull him off the bed, both arms wrapping around his waist. "What are we having?"

"Anything you want." With a smile, Kendall leans down to kiss Carlos and makes a happy noise against his lips, smiling when they ease apart. "Come on, then," he says, lacing their fingers together again before heading to the stairs. They take each one carefully and go into the kitchen, Kendall heading for the coffee pot and Carlos going to the fridge.

After the coffee starts, Kendall goes to join his fiance at the fridge and he slides a hand across the small of his back, resting it there as they look at the contents on the shelf, both of them humming in thought. In the end, Carlos decides to make pancakes and he grabs all of the ingredients he needs from the fridge, carrying them to the counter beside the stove with Kendall's help. He shoos him away when he's done and Kendall goes over to the table, sitting down in one of the chairs closest to Carlos.

"Want anything special in your pancakes?" Carlos asks as he grabs a bowl from the cabinet and Kendall takes a second to admire the stretch of his body before he settles back on his heels, a mixing bowl in hand.

"Do you think my mom's got any chocolate chips lying around?"

Snorting, Carlos turns and stares at Kendall in a judging manner. "Chocolate chips, really?"

"Hey," Kendall says, crossing his arms over his chest, "my mom used to make me chocolate chip pancakes all the time. They're my favourite."

"Hmm. I suppose I can make them for you,  _if_  you look for the chocolate chips."

Kendall salutes and grins as he stands to go over to the cabinet, opening the doors. "Flour, baking soda, baking  _powder_ , cocoa.."

"Having trouble, baby?" Carlos asks and Kendall can just hear the smirk in his voice.

"Nope." Even though he says this, Kendall is having trouble and he's about to give up when he shifts the bag of flour over and finds a bag of mini chocolate chips. "Found them!"

Carlos looks at Kendall, grinning as he holds the bag up proudly. "Good job," he says, holding his hands out for them. "Also, grab the pancake mix."

"Bossy," Kendall murmurs as he hands the bag to Carlos before turning to grab the box of pancake mix from the cabinet. He shuts the door, sets the box on the counter, and goes to sit back down, eyes locked on Carlos and a smile on his face as he watches him cook. "Hey, Litos?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever thought about cooking professionally?"

Huffing quietly as he pours mix into the bowl, Carlos shakes his head. "No, I haven't. I'm happy with being a mechanic," he answers.

"Why not?" Kendall presses, crossing both arms over his chest as he watches Carlos crack eggs into the bowl.

"Because I mostly just cook for fun and, besides, I'm not that good anyway."

Kendall scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Not good? Please," he says.

"It's true, Kendall," Carlos counters, as he pours milk into the bowl along with a splash of vanilla extract.

"Then why are you putting vanilla extract into the mix when it doesn't call for it?"

Carlos blinks and looks down, blushing as he shrugs and caps the bottle. "Because I've learned that it tastes better with the addition," he says.

"You should think about it," Kendall murmurs and that's the last he says about the matter.

They fall silent as Carlos makes the pancakes and Kendall watches him, jealous of the way he can make a perfect pancake every single time. He wants to ask what his secret his but bites his tongue, eyes glued to Carlos' hands and wrists, watching them work as he flips the flapjacks. When the coffee pot buzzes to signal that it's done, Kendall gets up and grabs two coffee mugs, setting them each on the counter. He fills them up three-quarters of the way full and takes them over to the table, setting one down at each spot.

While Carlos plates the pancakes, Kendall goes to the fridge to grab the milk and butter, grabbing the syrup out of the cabinet on his way back. He sets everything down, walks around Carlos, and snatches the small container of sugar and creamer from beside the coffee pot. Kendall goes back to the table, sits down, and starts to add sugar, creamer, and milk to his coffee, smiling when Carlos sits down with him. Steam rolls off the large stack of pancakes and Kendall's stomach growls loudly when he sticks a fork into three of them before transferring them onto the plate Carlos handed to him.

Breakfast passes by in comfortable silence and Kendall eats more pancakes than he thought he would, complimenting Carlos on the vanilla extract trick because, hey, it works. He puts the dirty dishes in the sink and washes them quickly, setting them in the rack to dry before heading downstairs with Carlos, both of them carrying half drank cups of coffee and not spilling a bit on their descent to the basement.

"Should we shower before we go or..." Carlos says, stopping a few feet short of the bed with both hands wrapped around his coffee cup.

"Not unless you think we can be good in there," Kendall replies, smirking as he heads over to the bed, sitting down on the mattress before downing the rest of his coffee in one gulp. It burns as it goes down and he hisses once he's swallowed, setting the cup on the nightstand and running a hand through his hair, sighing. "So, think we should call them and see if they want us to come over?"

Carlos rolls his eyes and comes over, sitting so that his thigh is pressed against the side of Kendall's. "They always want us to come over and, besides, I have to go home, don't I? I mean, I still live with them until we get hitched," he says, nudging his elbow against Kendall's.

"Shit, I forgot about that." Laughing, Kendall turns to kiss Carlos and licks his lips when he pulls away. "You taste good," he mumbles.

"So do you." Carlos smiles and finishes his coffee before going to grab his pants off the ground. He fishes his phone out of the pocket and comes back, tapping against the screen before tossing the device onto the mattress. "I texted Logan and said we were coming over."

Bobbing his head in an awkward sort of nod, Kendall stands and stretches, groaning as he goes over to his bag. "I guess we should put clothes on."

"Can't go over there naked," Carlos murmurs, grinning as he pulls his own pants on, jumping into them.

"We could but we'd probably get arrested." Kendall laughs and goes through his bag, pulling out the cleanest clothes (a blue, white, and black flannel shirt, a black tank top, and a pair of baggy jeans). He pulls them on, zips his bag up, and slings it over his shoulder, watching as Carlos pulls his own clothes on before turning to give Kendall a smile. "Ready?" he asks.

After straightening his clothes one last time, Carlos nods and smiles. "Ready," he answers.

Carlos grabs both of their phones and goes to snatch his shoes off the floor, pulling them on quickly. He holds Kendall's bag as he pulls his own boots on and hands the bag back, holding out his hand before Kendall takes it, lacing their fingers together. They make their way to the stairs and take them carefully, never dropping their hands until Kendall has to open the door but, even then, his hand is back in Carlos' half a moment later.

The house is quiet as Kendall and Carlos make their way to the front door and Kendall bites his lip, wondering if he'll get to say goodbye to his mother before he leaves. Sighing, he opens the door and lets Carlos go out first before shutting and locking it behind him, sliding his hand back into the other man's before they head to the car. They let go of one another reluctantly and Kendall goes to the back, setting his bag on the seat before shutting the door and opening the driver's side one. He slides in behind the wheel, slides the keys into the ignition, and starts the engine, letting it warm up before backing out of the driveway.

**x x**

When they get to Logan and Camille's, Kendall parks behind Logan's car and turns the engine off, glancing at Carlos with a smile before getting out and grabbing his things from the back. He slings the bag over his shoulder, walks around to the front of the car, and takes hold of Carlos' hand before going up to the front door. They enter without knocking and toe their shoes off near the door, Kendall setting his things down on top of them just a moment before Carlos pulls him upstairs, saying something about Camille and Logan probably being in bed.

Carlos lets go of Kendall's hand when they get to the top of the stairs and he starts making his way to Logan and Camille's room. While he goes to find their friends and tell them that they've arrived, Kendall looks down the hall and notices that Isaac's door is open. He raises a brow, turns, and starts heading toward the nursery, gently pushing the door open when he gets there. A smile takes over when he sees Camille sitting in the rocking chair with Isaac in her arms and a bottle in her hand, feeding him.

"Looks like we're in time for breakfast," he says, laughing softly as he comes in further, sitting on the windowsill next to the chair.

"Just in time," Camille responds, smiling as she looks up at Kendall. She looks older, more mature, and Kendall realizes that she's not the same girl he met two years ago and, of course, he knew that. Camille is a mother now and a soon-to-be wife.

Kendall smiles and runs a finger along Isaac's hair, which looks longer than it did the day before. "He's got a lot of hair."

"I know," she sighs, rocking slowly as she looks down at the baby. "Blame it all on my genes and Logan's. Damn our full heads of hair."

"Logan's hair is pretty damn thick." As he says this, Kendall pulls his hand back and wraps them both around the edge of the sill. "So, today is my last day and Carlos and I decided to spend it with you guys," he informs her, grinning brightly when she looks at him again.

A smile causes the corner of her mouth to curve up and she nods. "As a family," she says but it sounds more like a question.

"As a family," Kendall says, nodding as he watches her feed the baby, love and happiness swelling in his chest. He thinks it's crazy how he can love people so much and want to be a part of their life after only knowing them for a short while. Then again, he and Camille became fast friends after just a few minutes of talking to one another so it's not  _that_  crazy.

Just when Camille takes the bottle away from Isaac, Carlos and Logan come into the room, both of them shoving at one another's shoulders with their own. Kendall laughs softly and watches them fondly, dragging his teeth along the skin of his lip before biting down, shaking his head when Logan wraps an arm around Carlos' neck before pulling him down, rubbing the knuckles of his free hand against his scalp.

"Ow, Logan!" Carlos complains, wrapping both hands around his friend's forearm. "That hurts."

Logan keeps rubbing his knuckles along Carlos' head and laughs. "Say uncle," he murmurs.

"Uncle! Cousin!  _Sister!_ " The latter comes out in a frustrated huff and Carlos makes a noise when Logan lets go of him. "Child," he mutters.

"Says the most childish person I know," Logan counters, sticking his tongue out at Carlos.

Shaking her head, Camille situates Isaac onto her shoulder and pats his back. "Boys," she says, using a voice Kendall's heard his mom use before.

"Sorry," Carlos says, biting at his lip as he moves over to where Kendall is sitting, wrapping both arms around his shoulders. "My head hurts."

"You got knuckle burn?" Kendall means for this to be taken seriously but the words don't come out like he planned.

Carlos pouts and nods, resting his head against Kendall's. "Yes," he says, pouting even more.

"Do you want me to make Logan kiss it and make it better?"

"Ew, gross, no way!" Making a face, Carlos pulls back away from Kendall and leans against the wall, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Soft laughter fills the room and Logan comes over to where they're all sitting, moving a hand along Camille's. "The doctor called," he says, running his fingertips along the length of her fingers, brushing them against her knuckles. "He just wanted to confirm that we had an appointment for next week."

"Next Wednesday at ten, yep." Camille smiles up at him and continues to pat Isaac's back, rubbing it slightly until he burps. "Just like his daddy," she mutters, shaking her head again as she rocks back and forth slightly, still rubbing. "So, when do you leave, Kendall?"

"Shit," he mutters, smacking his forehead before fishing his phone out of his pocket. "I forgot to text Dustin."

Logan turns to look at Kendall and lifts his eyebrows. "Ruh-ro," he says, grinning when Kendall flips him off.

"Probably won't be until sometime after twelve." As he speaks, Kendall brings up a blank message for Dustin and types:  _What time are we leaving?_

"That sucks," Camille says, turning to look at Kendall with her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

Shrugging a shoulder, Kendall sets his phone on the sill beside him before looking up at her. "I'll be back in no time," he says.

"Yeah, in no time! We'll be able to harass him even more when he gets back." Logan grins and scrunches his face when Kendall throws another finger his way. "I'm just kidding, dude, but we will be able to hang out with you whenever we want."

"So long as he's not preoccupied with me," Carlos comments, shifting his weight as he leans against the frame of the window.

"Aw, baby," Kendall says, turning to smile at his fiance, "you'll have me locked to your bed for a while when I come home, huh?"

Carlos blushes and nods slowly, biting down on the fuller part of his bottom lip. "Probably," he says.

"Gross, gross, gross..." As he mutters, Logan puts both hands over his ears and twists his face into a grimace.

"You big baby." Snorting, Kendall turns back to his phone when it buzzes and he unlocks it, opening Dustin's message with a hard swallow.

_Leaving at 1, you coming to us or we coming to you?_

_Fuck,_  Kendall thinks as he stares at the message,  _that doesn't give me long with them_. He sighs, texts back saying that he'll come back to the hotel, and then sets his phone back onto the sill beside his leg, tuning out the conversation that's going on around him. The realization that he's got less than two hours to spend with his friends makes Kendall feel like he's going to be sick and he's standing a second later, a hand clasped over his mouth, muttering an apology against his fingers.

The bathroom door barely gets shut before Kendall falls onto his knees in front of the toilet and empties out the contents of his stomach. Everything seems to be spinning by the time he's done and he feels dizzy as he slumps against the side of the tub, letting his head fall to the side. Groaning softly, he lets his hand fall from the toilet handle and onto the floor, thankful for the cool temperature of the tile. His body feels hot and Kendall knows that he got sick because he doesn't want to leave and he's nervous.

Maybe he got sick because he knows that he can't do this.

Someone knocks on the door and Kendall groans, pushing himself onto his feet slowly. The world goes for another spin and he grips the sides of the sink, hunching over it as he tries to calm his breathing, the smell of everything hitting his nose again and causing his stomach to twist in a very unpleasant way. When he doesn't think he's going to sick sick again, Kendall turns on the water and ignores the knocking that keeps coming, the soft rap of knuckles hitting the wood gets drowned out by the sound of water pouring from the faucet.

Kendall splashes water on his face, dries it, turns the sink off, and grabs a bottle of mouthwash from the cabinet. He takes a huge gulp, swishes it around his mouth quickly, and turns to open the door, not surprised to see Carlos standing out in the hall. As he moves the mouthwash around, he motions for his fiance to come in and steps back, turning back to the sink to spit. Blue liquid runs down the drain and Kendall turns the faucet back on, washing it away before switching it off once again.

"Are you okay?"

Shrugging, Kendall dries his face and tosses the towel onto the sink. "I guess," he says, leaning against the edge of the sink.

"What's up? You know you can tell me anything," Carlos says, coming forward to touch the side of Kendall's face.

"We're scheduled to leave at one," he answers, tilting into Carlos' touch, sighing. "I have to be out of here by twelve-thirty so I can get to the hotel."

Carlos nods his head, presses his palm flat against Kendall's jaw, and gives him the smallest of smiles. "Okay," he whispers.

"Oh -  _okay_? I'm leaving soon, Litos." The tone of Kendall's voice raises a bit but Carlos doesn't seem affected by it. "I'm sorry," he sighs.

"For what?"

"Raising my voice," Kendall answers, lifting a hand to touch the back of Carlos', pressing it against his face more. "I'm just... I don't want to leave."

A beat of silence passes and Carlos brushes his thumb along Kendall's chin. "I know and I don't want you to leave but I know that you have to. I'll be here when you get back, you know that, and everyone else will be too. We aren't going to repeat the past, okay? I promise that we'll talk every single day, if you can, and if you can't then that's okay. I know you have to work and that you won't have as much time for me as you did before," he says, the smile on his face spreading a little. "Now, come on, let's go out there and see our family before we have to take you back."

There's something in the way Carlos speaks that makes Kendall believe, deep down, that this time is going to be different. He nods and slides his hand down the length of his fiance's forearm, touching the outside of his elbow gently before dropping his hand. When Carlos lets his own fall, Kendall finds it and intertwines their fingers together, taking a deep breath before moving out of the bathroom, heading back into Isaac's room where Camille and Logan are standing with Isaac nestled perfectly in his father's arms.

"Hey, honey." Camille comes over and wraps her arms around Kendall's waist. "You feeling okay?"

Kendall lets go of Carlos' hand and nods, hugging Camille tightly. "Yeah," he answers, smiling, "I'm okay."

"Good," she says, laughing when she pulls back. "I wanna get some pictures of you, Isaac, and Carlos."

The thought of having pictures to look at on the road makes Kendall smile and he nods. "Where do you wanna do this?"

"Downstairs on the couch would be the best," Logan answers, moving toward the door with Isaac in his hands. "Come on, boys."

"After you two." Kendall makes a sweeping motion toward the door and watches Camille walk out, followed by Carlos. He brings up the rear, shuts the door, and makes his way down the stairs with the others, running a hand through his hair as he steps off the bottom stair. Before he can move or even think about where he's going, Camille is steering him toward the couch, both of her hands on his shoulders, pushing until he gets there. "Jeez," he complains as he falls onto the cushions, laughing as he settles back against the couch.

Camille blushes and bites her lip, shrugging. "Sorry," she mutters before flitting away to get the camera.

"Who wants to hold Isaac?" Logan asks as Carlos takes his seat next to Kendall, their bodies pressed together.

"I do! Carlos gets to see him all the time," Kendall mutters, holding his hands out for Isaac. When Logan passes the baby to him, Kendall cradles him against his chest and settles back against the couch, smiling down at the baby in his arms. "Hey, little man."

An arm slides around Kendall's shoulder and Carlos leans in to kiss his cheek. "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too." With a smile, Kendall looks up and moves forward to press his lips against Carlos'. A shutter snaps and he pulls away, blushing as he turns to look at Camille, who's standing on the other side of the coffee table with a camera in her hands and a smile on her face.

"Whoops," she says, grinning as she takes another picture. "You two are very photogenic."

The blush on Kendall's face deepens and he settles against Carlos, holding Isaac close to his chest. "Just take the damn photos," he jokes.

"Bossy." After making a soft 'hmph' sound, Camille takes another photo and then another, pursing her lips slightly before motioning for Carlos to move away, giving him a smile when he looks at her, both brows raised. "Just for a few shots," she explains.

Carlos slides down to the other end of the couch and Kendall feels suddenly alone. He looks down at Isaac, lifts a hand to touch his the back of his tiny fist, and smiles brightly when he hears Camille 'aw' before taking another picture. When she comes forward, Kendall looks up at her and keeps smiling for the camera, letting his finger rest against the back of Isaac's hand as she snaps a few more shots. Camille announces that she's done with those shots and Logan climbs onto the couch beside Kendall, leaning down to kiss Isaac's head.

They continue to take pictures and Camille doesn't stop until everyone's been in at least one shot with Kendall and Isaac. After taking more photos of everyone (Carlos, Logan, and Isaac; Carlos, Logan, Isaac, and Kendall; Logan and Isaac; Carlos and Isaac; then, finally, letting someone take pictures of herself with other people and the baby), everyone settles onto the couch. Kendall sits on the floor in front of Carlos and lays his head back against his fiance's knees, taking in the feeling of happiness radiating from everywhere in the house.

Everyone goes quiet and Kendall holds Carlos' hand over his shoulder, brushing along his knuckles as time ticks away.

**xx**

When it's time for Kendall to leave, he doesn't want to say goodbye. He holds onto Camille tightly, gives Isaac extra kisses and doesn't let him go until Logan comes downstairs with a sad smile on his face. When he announces that it's time for them to leave, Kendall hands Isaac back to Camille and sighs deeply, running a hand along the side of his face slowly, scratching at his jaw.

"Oh, wait!" Camille frowns deeply and goes upstairs; she comes back down a moment later with her arms empty and a beanie in her hand. With a smile, she hands it to Kendall and then wraps her arms around him tightly, squeezing before letting him go. "I told you I'd knit you a hat," she says.

Kendall looks down at the gray and black beanie, smiling from ear to ear. "Thank you," he says, looking up before leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"No problem. Just remember to wear it and, if you lose it, I'll never forgive you."

"I won't lose it. I promise." Chuckling, Kendall pulls the hat down over his head and grins when Carlos whistles.

"Looking good," he says, bumping his hip against Kendall's.

A blush creeps over Kendall's cheeks and he scrubs a hand over his neck. "Ready to go?"

"I'm ready," Logan says and Carlos parrots him.

After Kendall says a final goodbye to Camille, the three men head outside and go to the car. Logan slides into the driver's seat and starts the engine, watching as Carlos and Kendall climb into the backseat. Once the doors are shut, he backs out of the driveway, and starts heading in the direction that Kendall tells him to go.

In the backseat, Carlos takes Kendall's hand in his own and squeezes, lacing their fingers together for the duration of the ride. They don't talk or let go of one another until Logan pulls into the hotel's parking lot and Kendall sees the tour bus sitting there with the door open. He sees Dustin standing near it and swallows hard, closing his eyes as they get closer and opening them when the car stops fully.

"This is it," Carlos whispers and Kendall just nods, numb to everything.

Sighing heavily, Kendall lets go of Carlos' hand and opens the door, sliding out before standing. He grabs his bag, slings it over his shoulder, and shuts the door behind him as he heads over to the bus, swallowing thickly. When he gets within a few feet of where Dustin is standing, Kendall looks and smiles faintly when he sees Logan and Carlos walking over toward him, staying where he is until they come closer.

"Want a quick look at the bus before we leave?" Kendall asks, holding his hand out to Carlos, who takes it immediately.

"Sure," he answers, smiling as they walk past Dustin. "What's up, Dust?"

Dustin shrugs, gives a smile, and waves his phone. "Texting my mom," he answers.

"Mama's boy." The words come out as a muttered breath and Kendall laughs softly, squeezing Carlos' hand as they go into the tour bus. Logan follows them, of course, and he whistles loudly when they step onto the bus, looking around slowly. "Make yourselves at home for a minute," Kendall says as he drops Carlos' hand to take his stuff to his bunk, shoving it into the compartment before coming back.

Logan gives Kendall a grin and stuffs his hands into his pockets. "It's comfortable in here," he comments and Carlos murmurs an agreement.

"Yeah, it's alright. I mean, it's less comfortable when you've got more people in here but... yeah, it's nice."

"Well," Carlos starts, pulling his lips up to one corner. "We should probably get going."

Those words make Kendall's heart drop and he nods slowly. "Yeah, probably," he agrees but every fiber of his being is telling him to say no.

"It was nice seeing you, man." Logan comes forward, pulls both hands out of his pockets, and slaps his hand against Kendall's. "We'll email you the pictures tonight," he says before they hug and Kendall holds on a little longer than Logan is probably comfortable with but he doesn't say anything.

"Thanks." When they ease apart, Kendall claps a hand against Logan's shoulder and grins. "See you in August," he says, dropping his hand.

Nodding slowly, Logan returns the grin and then turns to walk out of the bus. "I'll wait in the car," he announces before he's gone.

Carlos comes over quietly and wraps his arms around Kendall, pressing his face into the taller man's chest. "I'm going to miss you," he mutters.

"I'll miss you too," Kendall says, swallowing as he loops his arms around Carlos' shoulders, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

"Should probably go now so you can get ready to leave." The words are muffled but Kendall catches them, shaking his head slowly. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to go," he chokes out, burying his face against Carlos' hair, sucking in a deep breath.

Sniffling, Carlos holds onto Kendall tightly and pulls away, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I know," he whispers.

"I love you." Kendall repeats this until Carlos kisses him to shut him up. He closes his eyes, moves a hand to the back of Carlos' head, and just barely kisses him back, their lips pressed softly against one another before they pull away. When Kendall opens his eyes, he swallows and looks down at Carlos, noticing the tears that are rimming his eyes.

Goodbyes aren't easy but this one feels better than the last because Kendall knows that he's coming back soon. He knows that, when he comes back to Minnesota, that it will be for good or at least for a couple of months. That thought makes him feel better and he sighs, brushing Carlos' tears away as he leans their foreheads together, not moving until the bus starts filling with people.

Josh, Kyle, and Dustin stop at the opening of the door and watch them.

It's Dustin who clears his throat and breaks them apart.

"Sorry," he mutters, giving Kendall a soft expression. "We're about to head out in a bit."

Kendall nods and smiles at his band mate before leaning in to kiss Carlos again. "See you in August," he whispers.

"August," Carlos confirms, nodding as he presses his lips back against Kendall's. He pulls back, smiles, and wipes at his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too."

With another smile, Carlos turns and walks to the front of the bus, moving past the rest of the band. "Have a safe trip," he says when he turns back to look at Kendall again before stepping off the bus, leaving him completely alone.

Once Carlos has disappeared, Kendall moves to the front and collapses on the couch, moving both hands to his face, scrubbing them down and up, sighing heavily against his palms. He drops his hands to his knees and smiles sadly up at his friends, watching as Josh moves to sit on the cushions beside him, letting it all go when an arm slides across his back and a hand squeezes his shoulder lightly.

"It'll be okay," he whispers just before wrapping both arms around Kendall, smoothing one down the middle of his back.

**x x**

Kendall calms down once they start moving. He gets off the couch and goes back to his bunk, pulling his phone out to check his messages, smiling when he sees several from Camille, laughing at the pictures of Isaac she sent him. With a sigh, he sets the device on the mattress next to him and closes his eyes, listening to the noises surrounding them: the slight squeal of brakes, the crunch of gravel under the wheels, the cars passing by them.

They can do this and Kendall knows it. He just keeps his mind on the wedding and that keeps him from breaking down again.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: drinking, talk of smoking pot, strippers because that's fun, a little bit of drama, and then: happiness for everyone!]

**[September] [a week before the big day]**

When the night of their bachelor party rolls around, Kendall finally realizes that he's getting married. He hadn't really thought about it when he was on tour and they were planning everything but right now, while he's standing in front of the mirror in his mother's bathroom, it's all he can think about. The thought comes out of the blue and he thinks about it for a moment, hands stilling where he was buttoning the third-to-last button on his shirt, eyes locked on the porcelain bowl in front of him.

" _Holy shit_ ," he mutters to the empty room and looks up, blinking at his reflection. "I'm getting married in a week."

The noise from outside the bathroom pulls Kendall out of his reverie and he shakes his head, finishing the last few buttons before running both hands through his hair, messing it up a bit which has become his new "style" in the past couple of months. After that's done, Kendall looks at himself one more time and heads out of the bathroom, running head-first into Dustin on his way to the stairs.

Dustin laughs and claps both hands on Kendall's shoulders. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Kendall replies, giving his friend a grin, "I'm fine."

"We'll be ready to go once Logan gets off the phone with Carlos' mom." As he speaks, Dustin moves a hand to Kendall's cheek and pats it. "Are you sure that you're alright? I mean, you aren't nervous about the bachelor party are you?"

Blinking quickly, Kendall shakes his head and slaps Dustin's hand away. "No," he says. "Why? _Should_  I be worried?"

"Probably not."

That doesn't convince Kendall but he ignores it, shrugging a shoulder as he moves past Dustin to go down the stairs. He hops off the bottom one, slides his hands into his pockets, and looks around the room, nodding at his friends and smirking when he sees Gustavo sitting on the couch with Josh, both of them talking about something Kendall can't hear. After rocking back and forth on his heels for a moment, Kendall goes into the kitchen and finds Logan leaning against the counter with his phone to his ear, asking a question about Isaac.

"Okay," he says, nodding at Kendall when he comes closer. "I'm sorry I'm calling so much I ju - okay, okay, I'll hang up. Kiss him goodnight for me. Yes, Mrs. Garcia, we'll be safe... uh-huh, we won't do anything that will make your husband come after us. Yes, I love you too. Goodnight." Logan hangs the phone up and stares at it, sighing as he scrubs a hand down the side of his face.

Kendall leans against the counter beside him and bumps their shoulders together. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, finally. Sorry, I'm still worried about him and... I know that Carlos' mom is great with him but.."

"But... you're worried something may happen and that's natural for first-time fathers," Kendall interrupts, smiling softly when Logan nods. "Come on, I think everyone is getting antsy waiting for us and I really,  _really_  want to get drunk tonight."

Snorting, Logan pushes off the counter and puts his phone away. "You're not even old enough to drink yet," he comments.

"That may be so but I'm sure that's not going to stop anyone from letting me do it." Kendall grins and puts an arm around Logan's shoulders before steering him toward the living room where everyone is waiting. "We're ready," he announces and squeezes Logan before letting him go.

"Thank god," Gustavo groans as he turns away from Josh, grinning. "So, what are we doing?"

Josh stands and stretches, giving Logan and Kendall a smirk. "That's a surprise for the grooms," he answers.

"But  _we_ ," Gustavo motions to everyone in the room, "can still know what it is, right?"

"Oh, yeah. We just need Logan and Kendall to go outside and wait in the limo." When Josh says this, Kyle and Dustin come up beside the grooms-to-be and take one of their arms, moving them toward the door. They go without protest and only complain when their friends shove them into the back of the limo and tell them to stay.

A huff escapes Logan's lips and he sits up, leaning back against the seat. "That was rude," he mutters.

"But it's their way of loving us," Kendall answers and then thinks about that, shrugging. "I guess."

The two of them go quiet and look around the inside of the car while they wait for everyone. Kendall opens his mouth to ask what Logan thinks they're going to do before the doors open and people start climbing in. Kyle, Dustin, Josh, Luke, Guitar Dude, and a few friends that flew in from Boston pile into the back while Gustavo gets behind the wheel, obviously agreeing to be their driver for the night.

Once everyone's in and settled, Kyle knocks on the window separating the front from the back and gives Kendall a grin. "Nervous?" he asks.

"A little bit," he answers, truthfully, and gives a weak laugh. "But, as long as there's nothing too extreme going on, I'm not too worried."

"Would you mind giving us your definition of ' _too extreme_ '?" Dustin asks, laughing as he throws an arm around Kendall's shoulders. "Nothing bad is going to happen, okay? I had a hand in planning all of tonight's activities and I made sure that these guys," he motions to the rest of the group, "planned something too outrageous for you."

Kendall rolls his eyes and settles against Dustin, sighing. "Whatever. I don't care as long as I get drunk," he comments.

That earns him a loud  _'yeah!'_  from the rest of the guys and, soon, they're backing out of the driveway and heading to some unknown destination.

**x x**

Gustavo stops the limo an hour later and cuts the engine off, before rolling the separating window down. "We're here," he announces.

"Where is  _here,_ exactly?" Logan asks while everyone starts climbing out of the car and he follows right behind Kendall.

After getting out of the car and shutting the door behind him, Kendall straightens his clothes and shoves his hands into his pockets as he turns to look at the building they're parked in front of. A nervous - and slightly amused - laugh bubbles up when he sees the bright, flashing neon lights that cover the windows, promising hot entertainment in the form of guys and girls. Of course, Kendall knew that they were going to a strip club but the fact that they found one with men and women? That's surprising.

"Logan," he says, nudging his friend's shoulder.

"What?"

"Look." Kendall points to the building and then starts laughing again.

While they look at the strip club, Dustin comes up behind them and puts an arm around their shoulders. "Surprised, boys?"

"Uh," Logan starts, nodding slowly, "kind of."

"I'm not. I wanna have a hot guy rub against me while I drink." Turning around, Kendall looks at Dustin and pulls his eyebrows together. "I can drink in there, can't I? Please say yes because, honestly, I may punch you if you say no."

Dustin laughs and nods, clapping both Logan and Kendall on the shoulders. "Of course you can drink in there," he answers.

"And we have the whole strip club to ourselves," Josh says, pushing Dustin away. "We bought out the whole thing for the night and stocked it with enough booze for all of us plus more. The owners are still here but they're not going to come out because we told them it was a private party but, if anything happens, there are some security guards hanging around the exits, so don't touch or fuck anything. Is that clear, men?"

Everyone grumbles "yes" under their breaths before shuffling toward the club; the only ones left behind are Josh, Kendall, Logan, and Dustin.

"Ready?" Dustin puts his hands on Logan's shoulders and squeezes them.

"Don't let me do anything bad, okay?" As he speaks, Logan turns to Kendall and wraps a hand around his wrist. "Please," he whispers.

Kendall blinks and turns to look at Logan, nodding slowly as he takes his hand, squeezing it. "I won't let you do anything bad, as long as you don't let me."

"Deal," Logan says, laughing as he squeezes Kendall's hand in return before dropping it. "Alright, I'm ready."

The four of them walk into the club and Kendall takes a second to look around, whistling under his breath. It's dimly light in the building and there are neon coloured strobe lights shining down from the top of both stages. He glances toward them and swallows hard when he sees the stripper poles, wondering how uncomfortable this is going to be for the straight men and the not-so-straight men.

Josh gives Kendall's shoulders a shove and pushes him toward one of the stages. "Loosen up," he mutters.

"What?"

"You're tense."

Frowning slightly, Kendall shrugs and tries to calm down, sighing. "I'll be fine when I have a drink in me."

When he's pushed into a seat in front of the stage, Kendall huffs and settles against it, letting his legs fall open. He looks around and sees Logan sitting a few yards away in front of the other stage looking out of place and it almost makes him laugh but Kendall bites down on his lip to keep quiet. Everyone starts falling into seats around them and Kendall turns back around to look at the stage again, swallowing thickly as he rubs his hands together, wondering if Camille and Carlos are at a strip club, too.

Kendall is pulled from his thoughts when he hears Warrant's " _Cherry Pie_ " start playing through the speakers and he rolls his eyes at the song choice. The lights dim until they're almost completely off and then the bright strobe lights come on full blast, illuminating the stage. He watches with wide eyes as a man steps out onto the stage wearing a tight black t-shirt and a pair of even tighter leather pants, hips swaying to the music. The second he steps forward, Kendall turns to look at Dustin and makes a "get me a drink" motion before turning back to watch the show.

The stripper comes up to the pole and wraps his hands around it, glancing at Kendall with a smile. He wraps a leg around the pole, slides down, and then comes back up before walking in front of it, hips still swaying slowly to the beat. His eyes lock on Kendall as he runs a hand from the middle of his chest down his stomach, pushing it against the front of his pants and, fuck, Kendall really needs a drink.

Dustin comes up and sits beside Kendall, handing him a glass of whiskey. "Here you go," he says loudly, smirking when his friend takes the drink and downs it.

"Thanks," Kendall replies and shakes his head, holding the glass out before pulling it back. "Actually," he says, smiling, "get me the bottle."

While Dustin is off getting him the bottle of whiskey, Kendall relaxes and slides down in the seat, eyes locked on the fucking gorgeous stripper that's dancing in front of him. Now that the dancer is closer and underneath the light, Kendall notices the colour of his skin and a knot forms in his stomach when he realizes that his complexion is the same as Carlos'. He swallows thickly, runs his tongue along his lips, and watches the stripper's hands curl around the hem of his shirt before he pulls it up, revealing a perfect set of abs.

"Christ," he mutters and shifts in his seat, nearly jumping when Dustin nudges a bottle against his arm. He turns and takes the bottle from Dustin, handing his empty glass to his friend before twisting the top off the whiskey. When the stripper takes his shirt off and tosses it forward, Kendall catches it and takes a long sip from the bottle before settling it between his legs with the top off.

"Enjoying yourself?" Dustin asks, yelling the words so that Kendall can hear it over the song. He nods in response and blushes when his friend laughs at him.

After a few minutes, the song changes to Def Leppard's " _Pour Some Sugar On Me_ " and Kendall's stripper starts grinding against the pole... before he moves to the side of the stage and walks down the steps. He comes around and stands directly in front of Kendall, his hips swaying back and forth and forward, hands moving down the middle of his stomach and, shit, Kendall is enjoying this all a little too much.

The dancer steps forward and puts a leg on either side of Kendall's, moving a hand between them to grab the bottle of whiskey. He puts the bottle to his lips and takes a long swig before handing it to Dustin, who's staring at both of them with an amused grin. Kendall forgets about everyone - and the stripper that's currently taking her top off in front of Logan - and stares at the gorgeous man standing in front of him. He closes his legs and makes a noise when the dancer comes forward to sit on his lap, arms wrapping around his neck.

"Hi," he says when the music softens and Kendall swallows, keeping his hands at his sides in fear of touching the stripper inappropriately. "What's your name?"

Kendall blinks and wets his lips quickly, glancing at the stripper's mouth. "Kendall," he answers.

"That's a nice name." A smile spreads across the dancer's face and he starts moving against Kendall. "I'm Jackson."

"Your name is nice too," Kendall says and he smiles, relaxing more now that he knows the name of the guy that's grinding against him.

Smiling, Jackson nods and runs his fingers through Kendall's hair. "Is this okay?" Kendall nods and closes his eyes. "So, you're getting married."

"In a week to the most amazing man ever." The words spill easily from Kendall's mouth and he blinks to look up at Jackson with a grin.

"Congratulations," Jackson says as he presses himself against Kendall again, grinding their hips together. "If you're uncomfortable with anything I'm doing, let me know. I don't want to make you feel guilty or weird for this."

Kendall's eyes snap shut again and he moves his hands to Jackson's thighs. "I'm okay with this," he breathes.

"So lap dances are okay?"

"Yeah, guess so." Chuckling, Kendall tips his head back and groans quietly when Jackson starts moving again before he stands up. When that happens, Kendall pulls his chin toward his chest and opens his eyes, watching as the stripper starts to unbutton his pants. "You usually do stuff like this?"

Jackson shrugs a shoulder and tugs the fly down, pushing the flaps open slowly. "Double bachelor parties with a straight groom and a gay one?"

"I guess so, yeah," Kendall answers, nodding as he drags his eyes down Jackson's body.

"This is my first one but we," Jackson nods his head toward the other stage, "usually dance together anyway, during normal business nights. She's my best friend and I guess that's why you guys got us because they told us you two were best friends, too?" As he talks, Jackson pushes his pants down and kicks them away before coming forward again, moving a hand along his lower abdomen.

A moan comes from deep in Kendall's chest and he reaches blindly for the whiskey that Dustin's holding. He watches Jackson's thumbs hook underneath the waistband of his very tight - and small - shorts, eyes going wide when he pulls the fabric away from his hips before letting it snap back. It makes a loud noise and Kendall takes a huge swig from the bottle before situating it between his thigh and the side of the chair, licking his lips as Jackson turns and moves back until he falls onto Kendall's lap.

For the next hour and a half, Kendall drinks while he gets lap dances. He even switches with Logan when he comes over and asks if he can have a shot at the "really hot dude" that's grinding all over him. The girl stripper turns out to be really nice and she doesn't make it awkward for Kendall when giving his lap dance and he actually enjoys it... but not as much as Logan enjoys Jackson. Kendall laughs when Logan asks for his number and tells him that he's not allowed to drink anymore for the night or he'll end up in a relationship with a man.

After they leave the strip club, the boys head to a bar across town where Kendall and Logan get drunk off their asses. They end up sitting in a booth in the corner with each other, singing loudly to every song that plays on the jukebox before Dustin and Gustavo pull them away from the bar, ignoring the protests and the insults they slur out. Once everyone is safe in the limo, Gustavo drives them to his house and everyone piles out of the car before going inside, some of them immediately going to the fridge to look for booze.

Dustin, Luke, Logan, Kendall, and Emmett, a friend from Boston, head upstairs to Gustavo's guest room with a couple bongs and pipes, all of them stumbling up the stairs and giggling long before they even begin to get high. Kendall takes a spot on the floor and lays on his stomach with one of the pipes, tongue caught between his teeth as he tries to pack the bowl. When he can't do it, he turns over and pouts at Logan, who laughs and takes it away from him to shove the weed in it, before handing it back to him.

Everyone eventually migrates back to the living room and they push the furniture against the wall, all of them laying on the floor with one another, drunk and high off their asses. They tell stories and talk about the strippers, which prompts Logan to ask what they think Camille, Carlos, and the rest of their friends are doing but no one answers because they're too busy giggling at something Guitar Dude is doing.

It's four o'clock in the morning when everyone goes upstairs to find a room to sleep in. Almost all of the rooms are occupied and Kendall stumbles into the room where Logan is sleeping before sliding into the bed beside him. They talk for a few minutes and Logan drunkenly tells Kendall that he loves him and he says it back before they fall asleep, staying that way until the early afternoon.

No one talks about the night before, mostly because they don't remember it, and everyone goes their separate ways until the wedding.

* * *

**[it's time for a wedding!]**

Kendall wakes up early on his wedding day and stares at the ceiling, listening to someone move around downstairs. He sighs and sits up, looking in the corner where a chair sits with a clothing bag thrown over top of it, his suit laying in it. Swallowing thickly, Kendall runs a hand along his jaw and scratches it before pushing the blankets off his legs, sighing as he swings them over the edge, pressing his feet against the carpet.

"Four hours," he mutters to the empty room, shaking his head as he stands up. He grabs a pair of pajama pants off the floor and slips them on as he makes his way to the door, stepping into the hall. The noise from downstairs gets louder and Kendall listens to dishes move around, clacking against one another as they're being shuffled, probably being washed by someone.

After shutting the door behind him, Kendall heads down the hall and takes the stairs slowly, stepping off the bottom one before standing there, looking around the living room, biting his lip. He sighs and scratches along the waistband of his pajama pants as he heads into the kitchen, blinking when he sees Logan standing at the sink, washing a coffee mug.

"Morning," Kendall says as he moves closer, hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. "Can't sleep either?"

Logan rinses the mug off and sets it on the rack, shaking his head. "I've been up since five this morning," he admits.

"Why don't you stop washing the dishes for a bit? Maybe have breakfast with me."

"I don't know if I can eat," Logan mumbles but he turns around anyway, drying his hand on a dish towel. "Are we going to eat here or go out?"

Shrugging, Kendall shuffles forward and yawns quietly, leaning against the counter. "We can go out if you want," he says and smiles softly.

"Give me five minutes to look presentable and we'll head out." Kendall nods to Logan and watches him walk away, dropping the towel on the table as he passes by it before disappearing into the living room. He waits until he hears a door shut upstairs to follow Logan and he heads into his temporary room to throw on a pair of clothes, his stomach churning the entire time.

When Kendall gets downstairs, he finds Logan sitting on the edge of the couch, hunched over with his head in his hands. He goes over, puts his hand on his friend's shoulder, and squeezes it reassuringly to let him know that it's okay. They stay like that for a moment before Kendall goes to pull his boots on, lacing them up messily before tossing Logan's shoes at him, hitting him in the calve.

"Sorry," he laughs, sticking his tongue out at Logan when he looks at him, mouth opened like he's shocked. "I didn't mean to hit you!"

Logan laughs and pulls his shoes on quickly, shaking his head as he stands. "Sure you didn't," he mutters.

"I'm serious! If I wanted to throw shoes at you and hurt you with them, I would have thrown them at your face." Kendall grins and grabs the keys before heading outside, swinging the key ring around on his finger as he heads to the car. He leans against the driver's side and yawns quietly, watching as Logan comes out of the house, taking the porch steps slowly.

"Where are we going?" Logan asks when they get into the car and Kendall shrugs, making a thinking face. "How about the diner we all go to?"

"Sure, why not? I haven't been there for a while, anyway." Chuckling quietly, Kendall puts the car in reverse and backs out of the driveway, shifting into drive when they get out onto the road. "I can't believe we're going to be married soon," he mutters and shakes his head, fingers relaxing and tightening around the steering wheel as he drives.

Logan hums in response and taps his fingers against his thighs, clearly nervous. "What if I get so nervous that I throw up?"

"Then make sure you throw up on someone other than Camille, Carlos, or me."

"I'm being serious," he says, turning look at Kendall as he chews on the edge of his lip.

Sighing, Kendall taps his thumb against the wheel and glances at Logan. "You're not going to throw up," he answers.

"How do you know? I feel like I'm going to throw up now," Logan mumbles.

"I know because you're going to be so happy when you see Camille in her wedding dress that she's going to be the only person you see. You aren't going to worry about me, Carlos, or the rest of your groomsmen or the guests; all that's going to matter is Camille and how beautiful she is." Kendall smiles and makes a right hand turn before settling back against his seat. "I, on the other hand, probably will get sick and throw up so you better hide some crackers in your suit or something," he mumbles and smiles when he hears Logan laugh.

They fall into a comfortable silence after that and Kendall focuses on the road and driving, trying to keep his mind off the fact that he's going to be married to Carlos in less than four hours. When they finally arrive at the diner, Kendall parks as close to the door as he can and shuts the engine off before climbing out of the car, stretching a bit as he waits for Logan. He walks around the front of the car and is about to say something to Logan when his phone goes off in his pocket and he pulls it out, grumbling as he reads a text from his father.

"What's up?" Logan asks when he's out of the car and standing beside Kendall, raising a brow.

Kendall shakes his head and looks up at Logan, making a disgusted face. "My dad's texting me," he answers.

"Dude, you  _did_  invite him to the wedding, didn't you?" When Kendall bites his lip and makes a face, mouthing 'oops' as he shrugs, Logan rolls his eyes. "He's probably pissed off that he's not invited to the wedding of the year," he says.

"Oh fucking well. The guy is a prick and I don't want him there." As he says this, Kendall replies to his father's text (that reads: " _we need to talk_ "), explaining that he doesn't want to talk to his father. Once that's sent, he slides his phone back into his pocket and moves toward the diner, opening the door for Logan before following him inside and to their usual table.

Logan sits across the booth from Kendall and folds his hands on the table. "Why don't you just invite him at the last minute? We have the room," he says.

"I don't want him there, Logan. There's a long list of reasons but, when it comes down to it, I don't want him there because of how he treated my mother. He can treat me however he wants but when you cheat on my mother and act like it's nothing? No. I'm sorry, but he can apologize a thousand times and take a blood oath that he'll never do it again... but that shit doesn't matter to me." Kendall purses his lips together and grabs a menu, flipping through it until his phone buzzes again.

Sighing, he grabs it and looks at the message from his dad that says they should talk before the wedding. He bites his lip and taps out a response (" _okay, meet me at the diner we went to when you told me about your affair_ ") before sending it and sending another that explains that he's with Logan so that it will have to be quick. After sending the second message, Kendall puts his phone on silent and lays it on the seat beside his leg before going back to his menu, his stomach growling as he reads over the breakfast options.

A young woman comes over to their table a few minutes later and smiles at Kendall, saying that she recognizes him from the TV and all of the papers and magazines. He smiles in response and thanks her before putting in his order for a huge breakfast that he probably won't be able to keep down but his stomach keeps growling and he feels like he hasn't eaten in days. Once she's written his order down, she turns to take Logan's and jots it down quickly before walking away, explaining that she'll be back with their drinks shortly.

"My dad's going to stop by," Kendall says as he looks around the diner, tapping his fingers against the table.

"What for?"

Kendall shrugs and splays his hands out on the table top. "Because we need to talk," he answers.

"And it's going to turn into a screaming match, isn't it?" Logan asks, raising a brow as he watches Kendall, sighing when he shrugs and grins. "Please don't scream or get into a serious argument with your dad. Not today."

"I'll try not to," Kendall agrees, smiling when he looks up at Logan. "For you and you only, because you my boo." When he says this, Kendall lifts a hand and reaches across the table to touch Logan's cheek, stroking it until he slaps it away.

"Never do that again."

Nodding, Kendall snickers and drops his hand, turning when the waitress comes back with their drinks. "Thank you," he says and flashes her a smile, letting his dimples come out before he takes a long sip of his juice, making an 'ahh' noise when he sets it down.

"I don't mean to pry," the girl says, chewing nervously on her lip, "but aren't you getting married soon? I read that in the paper and in People, sorry."

"You don't have anything to apologize for." Kendall chuckles quietly and nods again, pressing his hands together as he says, "And yes, I am getting married soon. Today, actually."

The girl's eyes go wide and she opens her mouth, gasping. " _Oh!_  Oh, my god! Congratulations," she says and Kendall grins, thanking her softly. She walks away after flushing and stumbling over her words when she tells him that his wife (he corrects her and says husband) is lucky to have him.

Logan stares at him when she walks away and shakes his head. "That was awkward," he says.

"Not really. It was kind of nice, you know, to have someone recognize me and  _not_  try to get in my pants."

"I guess that's the annoying part about being famous, huh?" Logan smirks and takes a sip of his own juice.

Kendall rolls his eyes and laughs before settling back against his seat. He glances to the corner where their waitress is standing with another employee and she looks away when he notices she's staring, smirking as he turns back to look at Logan, who's talking about how cute Isaac looks in his little tux. Kendall just nods his head and agrees because, yes, he knows that Isaac looks adorable in his tux because they had gotten it the same day they got the last alterations done on their own suits.

Time passes and the young lady comes back with their food, smiling sweetly at Kendall and Logan before telling them to enjoy their meal and to call her if they need anything else. She leaves immediately after that and Kendall digs into his food like he hasn't eaten in a week, chewing happily and washing everything down with sips of juice. He finishes his food long before Logan does and drains what's left in his glass before sliding out of the booth to stretch, groaning when his joints pop.

"I think I'm going to have a cigarette and wait for my dad to get here," he says and looks down at Logan, who's nodding and giving him a thumbs up as he chews. Kendall laughs and grabs his phone from the seat, sliding it into his pocket as he heads outside and to the car, opening the passenger side door so he can open the glove compartment. He grabs the pack he stashed there for emergencies and looks for a lighter in the middle console, cursing until he finds one that looks so old that he's genuinely surprised when he sees that it works.

After shutting the door, Kendall grabs a cigarette from the pack and places it between his lips before lighting the end. He slides the lighter and pack into his pocket and leans against the passenger side, letting his head tip back as he takes a long drag, wrapping his fingers around the filter. When his lungs start to burn from the smoke he's inhaled, Kendall pulls the cigarette away and drops his head forward as he blows the smoke out, looking around. He makes a face when he sees a fancy car pull into the diner parking lot and nearly crushes the filter of his cigarette when he sees his father behind the wheel.

The car pulls in next to Kendall and he flicks his thumb against the filter as he watches his father get out.

"Nice car," he mutters and smirks as he puts the end of his cigarette back between his lips, taking a longer drag. "Get tired of the other, huh?"

"Good to see you too," Christopher says and Kendall just shrugs, shoving a hand into his pocket. "Your wedding is today, right?"

Kendall nods and takes another drag, letting the smoke burn his lungs before he exhales. "Yep," he answers.

"Congratulations. Carlos is a great guy and... I'm happy for you, Kendall."

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? Because, really, you could have just called or sent a postcard," Kendall says.

Christopher sets his jaw and shoves his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry. I wish we could start new and I know that you probably hate me but I am sorry for everything I did, okay? I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you and I want to get to know each other again, now that you're a big rock star and your life has changed drastically since we were last together like this."

As his father talks, Kendall smokes and watches him, tilting his head to the side. He nearly snorts when Christopher apologizes and flicks ashes onto the pavement, shaking his head as he blows smoke out of his mouth. Silence drags on for another minute and Kendall pulls his free hand out of his pocket before running it through his hair, sighing heavily.

"I can _promise you_  that I fucking loathe you and that I want nothing to do with you. I didn't invite you to my wedding because you don't give a  _fuck_  about me and don't even begin to say that you do," he says, holding his hand out toward his father when he opens his mouth, pointing at him with his cigarette, "cause I know that you don't. You could have prevented all of this but, instead, you had to stick your dick in something young and that  _wasn't your wife_. I am glad, in a way, because she's doing a lot better without you and I'm glad to see her happy for once in her life. I'm also glad because it looks like you've aged a lot in the past two years and I'm fucking glad that the guilt is eating at you. The guilt of hurting my mother and abandoning us for work when  _we_  should have been the most important thing in your fucking life."

Christopher blinks at Kendall but he shakes his head, shaking with anger.

"Do you know how many times I asked _'where's daddy?'_  and  _'why isn't daddy coming home?'_  when you would work late hours and you would miss important things like my concerts and me growing up. I'm pretty sure you abandoning me for  _work_  is the reason I entered a semi-abusive relationship with someone and I thought that was normal because I didn't know any different. I thought it was normal to be pushed aside and ignored when it came to something that was clearly more important than me," he says, voice cracking a little.

"Kendall.." his father starts, voice quiet.

Shaking his head and swallowing hard, Kendall drops his cigarette and grinds it out with the heel of his boot. "No, I'm done. I'm marrying Carlos today and getting rid of the last name I share with you because I fucking hate it. No more being asked 'oh, are you Christopher Knight's son?' when I go anywhere around here because that's not who I am, at least not anymore," he says and turns to walk away, hands stuffed into his pockets.

When Kendall gets to the door, he turns around and shrugs at his father. "Maybe you can read all about my wedding in tomorrow's newspaper," he mutters before walking back into the diner and to the booth where Logan is sitting with a piece of pie in front of him.

"How did it go?"

"As well as expected," Kendall replies, shrugging as he reaches over to grab the plate from Logan, smirking when he complains. "Come on, share with me."

Logan huffs and nods, handing his fork over to Kendall. "We have to get home soon so we can get ready," he says while Kendall finishes the rest of his pie, nodding slowly as he chews. "Hey, did you write your own vows or are you guys going traditional?"

"I wrote a little something." When he finishes eating, Kendall licks the fork and sets it down. "Ready to go?"

They pay the check and Kendall leaves a big tip for their waitress before leaving. Logan drives this time and Kendall watches the world go by, tapping his fingers against the insides of his thighs, humming quietly to a song in his head. When they get back to Jennifer's house, Kendall goes inside and immediately goes upstairs to take a shower, standing under the stream for half an hour until he finally gets out. He wraps a towel around his waist and goes into his room, sitting on the edge of the bed until his mom knocks on the door and asks if he's ready.

After putting his suit on, Kendall looks at himself in the mirror and heads downstairs where Logan and Jennifer are waiting.

**x x**

"I can't do this, Kendall." Camille is sitting on a chair in her dressing room and her wedding dress is pooled around her. She looks up at Kendall and he frowns, moving over to kneel in front of her, putting a hand on either side of her face. "Is it too late to back out?"

Kendall laughs and nods his head. "It's a little too late, yes," he answers and leans forward to kiss her forehead lightly. "And you can do this, okay? The boy you've been in love with since the day you two met is waiting for you at the end of the aisle and you two are perfect for each other. Once you see him standing there, it'll all be okay."

Closing her eyes, Camille takes a deep breath and nods her head slowly. "I love you," she whispers.

"I love you too." Kendall smiles and stands up, holding his hand out to her. "Now, can I give you to Logan nicely or am I going to have to drag you out of here and throw you at him? The choice is yours but, personally, I would go for nicely."

"Mm... nicely, I suppose." A quiet laugh escapes and Camille takes Kendall's hand, pulling herself to her feet. "How do I look?"

When she asks this, Kendall looks her up and down and smiles, feeling tears rim his eyes. "Beautiful. Like always," he answers truthfully.

Camille nods and smiles brightly, lacing her fingers with Kendall's as they head to the door. When the music starts, Kendall loops his arm through hers and pats the top of her hand to let her know that everything will be okay. He waits until he's given the signal and the doors open in front of them before he leads her out into the church, watching as people rise from the pews and turn to look at both of them.

"You ready?" Kendall whispers when they stop at the top of the aisle and he glances at Camille, who nods slowly. He nods back and turns to look down at the people standing a few yards away, spotting Logan in his suit... and Carlos standing right next to him. They both look so good that it makes Kendall stop for a second before he keeps going, taking Camille down to the end of the petal-covered aisle before stopping.

The priest looks at them and then to the crowd before he asks, "Who gives this woman to be wedded to this man?"

"In the place of her father, I do." Kendall smiles and turns to kiss Camille on the cheek before laying her hand in Logan's, mouthing 'be good to her' before going to take his place with the rest of the groomsmen. When he passes Carlos, Kendall touches the back of his hand and smiles before taking his spot next to Luke and Gustavo.

"Friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate the love between Camille Roberts and Logan Mitchell. Over the years they've been together, their love has helped them through many things, and they have grown closer through the hardships and obstacles that have been thrown their way. Their love has grown and matured as they have and now, before their friends and family, they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife," the priest starts and Kendall listens to him, smiling.

A small prayer is read before the priest asks if anyone has reason for Logan and Camille not to be married. For a moment, Kendall worries that Camille might bolt and go through the back door but she stands firm in front of Logan, grasping the bouquet of flowers. He breathes a sigh of relief when no one says anything and the ceremony goes on as planned. When the officiant states the definition or marriage and gets into the serious business, Kendall thinks about his words and wonders if he's ready to marry Carlos.

When the priest asks for the rings, Carlos steps forward with them and holds them out, giving a bright smile to the bride and groom. He steps back in line while the wedding continues and the rings are given to Logan and Camille before the priest asks Logan to repeat after him.

"I, Logan Mitchell, take you, Camille Roberts, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you as long as we both shall live."

Logan repeats the words and says, "I, Logan, give you, Camille, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."

After he says that, Logan pushes the ring onto Camille's finger and she repeats the vows, smiling when she puts the ring on Logan's finger.

The priest says a final prayer and then smiles before announcing, "By the power vested in me by the state of Minnesota, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Everyone claps when Logan leans down to kiss Camille and someone even whistles in the back. Kendall, on the other hand, just stands with everyone else and claps slowly, smiling as he watches his best friends kiss each other. When they break apart, he lifts a hand and wipes at his eyes, grumbling quietly as he watches Camille and Logan turn to the crowd to smile at them.

"I present to you Mister and Missus Logan Mitchell," the priest says and everyone stands when he motions to the couple, their clapping getting louder.

From where he's standing, Kendall can see the blush creeping along Camille's cheeks and he laughs quietly, covering his mouth with one hand before joining in on the clapping, even whistling a few times when the other person does. He grins and winks when Camille turns to look at him, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she smiles at him. The grin on his face fades into a smile as the noise dies down and everyone takes their seats again when the priest motions for them to return to their places.

"As I'm sure you all are aware of," he says and smiles even more, "this is a double wedding. Camille and Logan were to marry first and our second couple will be ready in just a few moments. Please, talk among yourselves until we're ready."

When he says that, Kendall goes forward and puts his hand on Logan and Camille's joined ones, squeezing them lightly. He kisses both of them on the cheek and drops his hand when he feels someone tap his shoulder, turning to look at Dustin who's grinning from ear to ear. The grin his friend gives him makes Kendall feel more relaxed than before and he pulls Dustin in for a hug, clapping a hand against his shoulder.

"You ready?" Dustin asks when they ease apart and Kendall nods, huffing out a breath. "Don't throw up."

Kendall laughs and nods slowly, licking his lips as he drops his hands away from Dustin. "I'll try not to," he promises.

People move all around them and Kendall's groomsmen take their place while Carlos' do the same. Logan takes the spot next to Carlos and Dustin moves to stand beside Kendall, both hands shoved deep into his pockets which actually makes Kendall laugh when he sees it. He takes a deep breath and straightens his jacket before taking his spot in front of the priest, body trembling as he waits for his about-to-be husband to join him.

Carlos' shoulder slides against Kendall's arm when he takes his place and that calms him down... just a bit.

The priest goes through the motions, minus asking who's giving away the bride, and announces that Kendall has written something to share with Carlos before they exchange their vows. He blushes deeply when he's instructed to go on and he turns to face Carlos, taking a small sheet of paper out from the inside of his jacket before unfolding it, giving his fiance an apologetic smile when he doesn't get it right the first time.

"It's okay," Carlos whispers, laughing quietly when Kendall finally opens it.

Everyone goes quiet and Kendall takes a huge breath, smiling when he looks up from the paper.

"Before you crashed - literally - into my life, I didn't know what it felt like to have someone love me. I didn't know that loving someone meant that you could kiss them and show affection because, before you, I thought loving someone meant that you take the abuse they give you and don't question it... but then you showed me that I was worth loving and that people who really care about you... don't abuse you. Not physically, not emotionally, not at all. You picked up the shattered pieces left behind from my previous relationship and you healed me, made me into a whole new person; the person that's standing in front of you today. The person that had the strength and courage to say "I love you" and not expect to be laughed at... or yelled at... or even hit because of my feelings.

I fell in love with you in those short months we were together and you changed my life. You probably even saved me from myself and I want to thank you for that. I want to thank you for every night you spent with me when you could have been out with your friends; for everything you did for me when I went through the loss of a loved one... and, most of all, for loving me unconditionally. It was your love that kept me together and it was your love that pushed me to become the success I am today... but I would be okay with not being famous because I know that I would still have you, even after everything we've been through. I know that I haven't been the best person and I'm sorry for that. I told you that I would spent my entire life making it up to you and, baby, I promise that I will. I'll do anything you want me to; take you anywhere; grovel and beg as much as you want until you feel as though I'm forgiven.

You are my best friend and the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life. I don't see myself with anyone but you and I don't even see myself happy without you because you are my reason for happiness. Had you not come and saved me when you did, I probably would have stayed in that abusive relationship and our best friends," Kendall motions to Logan standing behind Carlos and to Camille sitting in the front pew, "wouldn't be together right now. We wouldn't have a beautiful nephew who is the center of our world. We wouldn't be happy and I think that's the best thing about of all of this: we, all four of us, are happy and we've found our other halves.

I love you, Carlos, and I intend on loving you until my dying day." When Kendall finishes, he folds the paper up and looks at Carlos with tears in his eyes, giving him a sad-happy smile, his lips quivering a little. Carlos mouths _'I love you'_  before the priest asks for the rings and both Logan and Dustin step forward, each of them handing a ring to both of the grooms.

The priest turns to Kendall and tells him to repeat the following words: "I, Kendall Knight, take you, Carlos Garcia, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you as long as we both shall live."

Once he's done saying his vows, Kendall says, "I, Kendall, give you, Carlos, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you," and, with shaky hands, slides the ring onto Carlos' finger. He smiles down at the other man and bites the edge of his lip when he starts repeating the vows, heart hammering in his chest when he feels the ring slip over his finger before fitting snugly at the base.

After that, the priest finishes up and announces, "By the power vested in me by the state of Minnesota, I now pronounce you married. You may now kiss."

Chuckling, Kendall cups Carlos' jaw lightly and leans down to kiss him, closing his eyes when their lips touch. He sighs into the kiss and deepens it slightly as their friends and family applaud around them while the person in the back whistles again. After a moment, Kendall pulls back and takes hold of one of Carlos' hands, lacing their fingers together as the priest introduces them as Mister and Mister Carlos Garcia.

Everyone keeps clapping as the two couples join together and walk down the aisle with Logan and Camille leading. As they walk past the pews, Kendall looks at the guests and sees Sylvia, Jennifer, and Melissa standing together with Isaac, all three of them crying. He smiles at them and keeps walking, squeezing his husband's hand when they get to the church doors before stepping outside, hearing everyone file into the aisle behind them.

Two limos are waiting outside and the couples move down toward them, turning around to look at the crowd with huge smiles. Logan waves before climbing into the car with Camille, helping her get the train of her dress in so it doesn't catch in the door. Kendall and Carlos do the same thing but they stand together for a moment, looking at their friends and family before finally getting into the limo together, laughing when they fall inside.

"I love you, Mr. Garcia," Carlos whispers as he climbs onto Kendall's lap to kiss him softly.

Kendall hums and kisses back, moving a hand to the back of Carlos' head. "I love you too."

**x x**

After the wedding, everyone heads to the reception and Kendall gets tipsy enough to hop on stage with the band. They play a few songs from their album and, for the rest of the night, alternate between covers of songs that half the guests probably don't know and some love songs that they've heard throughout their lives and only half know how to play.

By the end of the night, everyone is having a good time which makes Kendall happy. He dances with his husband several times and even squeezes in a dance with Mrs. Mitchell before Logan steals her back again. When he eventually gets back to Carlos, Kendall is so tired and drunk that he wants to go home, even begs Carlos to call it a night so they can go to bed but Carlos manages to persuade him to stay a little longer.

The reception goes on throughout the evening and it's dark by the time everyone leaves. Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and Camille stay behind until everyone's gone and they drink what's left in the bottles before eating the rest of the cake. When they're full and drunker than before, the couples get into their limos and head back home... which means Logan and Camille go to his house and Kendall and Carlos head to Jennifer's because they've yet to buy a house of their own.

Carlos and Kendall stumble up the stairs before making their way to the room set up for them. They strip out of their suits and fall onto the bed, kissing each other lazily before laying on the middle of the mattress, hands roving over one another slowly. With the soft light coming in from the moon, Kendall watches his husband carefully and traces every inch of skin he can touch before they go to sleep, kissing each other one last time before settling in for the night.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: some light somnophilia, blowjobs, hair pulling, some (maybe) body 'worshiping' from both parties, little bit of spanking, nipple play, Carlos begging because Kendall's a tease or something, fingering for the sake of fingering, rough sex, some light dirty talk.]

Three days after their wedding, Kendall surprises Carlos by taking him to Hawaii for their honeymoon.

**x x**

It's early afternoon when they land in Honolulu and Kendall is exhausted when they finally get off the plane. He allows Carlos to drag him through the airport, their hands clasped tightly together, and he helps pile their bags onto one of the carts before heading to the rental car desk. After talking about what kind of car would be perfect for their trip, Carlos persuades Kendall to get a Jeep and they walk out of the airport fifteen minutes later with the keys to a Jeep Wrangler.

"What are we doing on our first day?" Carlos asks once they've found their car and have started piling things into it.

Kendall yawns and shrugs a shoulder, giving his husband a lazy grin when he puts the last bag into the back of the Wrangler. "Sleep for a while and then fuck," he answers, truthfully, before shutting the back window and taking the cart back inside.

When Kendall gets back to the car, Carlos is waiting for him behind the wheel with a big grin on his face. He laughs and shakes his head as he climbs into the passenger side, yawning loudly once the door is shut and he's settled against the seat. The engine starts and Carlos puts it in gear, backing out of the spot they were sitting in before shifting into drive and heading out toward the exit.

"So, hotel?"

"Hotel," Kendall confirms, smirking when Carlos stops to type the address of the hotel into their GPS. "Hotel, sleep, and then sex all night long."

Carlos blushes and looks at Kendall, his hands wrapped around the GPS. "Is that all we're going to do while we're out here?"

"Are you going to complain if we stay in the room and fuck constantly the whole time we're in Hawaii?"

"Yes," Carlos answers with a laugh as he turns back to the device in his hands. "I want to experience everything Hawaii has to offer."

Snorting, Kendall lifts a hand to touch the back of Carlos' with his fingertips. "We'll do whatever you want... after tonight," he says.

"Thank you." Another laugh bubbles up from Carlos' throat and he sets the GPS back on it's stand on the dashboard before turning to look at Kendall, smiling.

"No problem," Kendall murmurs, returning the smile as he leans forward to kiss Carlos, humming against his lips. "Now: hotel, check-in, and nap."

Rolling his eyes and sighing, Carlos settles back against his seat before pulling out onto the road. He holds his hand out for his husband to take and he smiles brightly when he feels those rough, calloused hands sliding against his own; those long fingers slotting into the space between his and the pad of Kendall's thumb swiping along the length of Carlos'. They drive silently for a while until Carlos starts talking about what he wants to do while they're in Hawaii: scuba diving, swimming, cliff jumping, surfing, and the list goes on until Kendall loses track of everything on it.

Nearly an hour later, they finally arrive at their hotel and Carlos stops in front of the door, telling Kendall to go inside and check in while he parks the car. He waits until Kendall is inside the hotel before pulling around to the parking lot, tongue caught between his teeth in concentration as he looks for a spot... and he lets out a triumphant yell when he finds one. After swinging the car into the spot, Carlos cuts the engine and hops out, going around the grab as many bags as he can from the back (which turns out to be three out of the five they brought).

Carlos is halfway across the parking lot when Kendall comes walking toward him, laughing. "Need help?"

"That'd be great," Carlos answers, giving his husband a grateful smile when he goes to grab the remaining bags from the Jeep.

When everything is out of the car, the two of them head inside and upstairs to their room. They only get a few feet inside before Carlos sets the bags on the ground and grabs hold of Kendall, standing up on his tiptoes to kiss him roughly. He moves a hand to the back of the taller man's head and tangles his fingers in the messy mop of hair, tugging him forward until he feels two hands wrap around his hips, fingers digging in hard enough to leave bruises until the thin layers of clothing that Carlos is wearing.

After a moment of kissing, Carlos pulls back and licks his lips slowly. "Nap?"

"Um," Kendall responds, raising an eyebrow, "as long as you promise to do  _that_  afterwards."

"Deal." Smirking slightly up at Kendall, Carlos drags his teeth along his lower lip and moves away to go lock their door. He kicks his shoes off on his way back and tugs his shirt over his head before tossing it onto the floor, swaying his hips as he walks over to the bed. Carlos can feel Kendall's eyes roaming over his body so he turns slowly and undoes his jeans, popping the button quickly before tugging the zipper down as slowly as possible.

Kendall swallows thickly and starts getting undressed, eyes locked on Carlos' every move. "Tempted to stay up and bend you over the bed," he murmurs as he drops his shirt onto the floor, toeing his shoes off as he undoes his jeans, dragging the tip of his tongue from one corner of his mouth to the other.

"Then why don't you?" Carlos asks, in a seductive voice, as he pushes his jeans down and off, kicking them to the side.

"Because I'm afraid I may pass out with my cock buried in you." And it's the truth. Kendall wishes that he could fuck Carlos before they go to sleep but his body is too tired and, even though Carlos is great at keeping him awake, his eyes are growing heavy. "But I promise that I will fuck you as many times and as hard as you want," he pauses to push his jeans down and pull them off, letting them drop to the floor as he continues, "when we wake up."

Humming, Carlos nods his head and cracks a smile before climbing onto the bed. "Then let's sleep," he says, holding his hand out to Kendall.

With a sleepy smile, Kendall walks over to the bed and lays down next to Carlos, slipping an arm around his waist. He sighs and closes his eyes, burying his face against the side of his husband's neck, breathing in his scent deeply. When he exhales, Kendall presses himself against Carlos' back and holds him close, making a happy-sleepy noise when Carlos covers them up with a thin sheet.

Kendall murmurs "goodnight" and "I love you" before falling asleep with his face pressed against Carlos' shoulder.

**x x**

It's dark when Carlos wakes up and he slips out of bed while Kendall sleeps. He looks at his husband, smiles, and goes to open the doors to the balcony to let some air in before heading back to the bed, yawning as he stretches out on the mattress beside Kendall. Soft puffs of breath are coming from his parted lips and Carlos lifts a hand to touch his cheek, dragging his fingertips along the curve before moving them along the swell of Kendall's bottom lip, smiling when he shifts in his sleep and mumbles something Carlos can't quite make out.

A small breeze blows through the open doors and Carlos shifts closer to Kendall, fingertips sliding across his cheek before moving onto the shell of his ear, tracing it slowly. He giggles when Kendall twitches and grumbles, pulling his hand away until his husband is done nuzzling against the pillow and then he lays his palm flat against his cheek, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. Sighing contentedly, Carlos lays his head down on his own pillow and continues to touch Kendall's cheek lightly, biting down on his lower lip as he thinks about how happy he is.

"Don't wanna wake up," Kendall murmurs in his sleep and Carlos laughs, rolling his lip between his teeth as he moves his hand down, pressing it against the side of his husband's neck. "Can't make me."

Carlos shakes his head and leans forward to kiss the corner of Kendall's mouth. "But we're in Hawaii and you promised me sex," he whispers as he drags his hand down the middle of the other man's chest, moving it across his stomach. "You don't have to be awake for it but I'd have more fun if you were..."

When that gains no response from Kendall, Carlos moves his hand down and ghosts it over the front of his husband's boxers, just barely pushing his palm against the front as he moves over to kiss his jaw lightly. He takes in a deep breath through his nose and closes his eyes, letting his lips move across the rough stubble covering Kendall's jaw and cheek before biting down on the hinge, smirking when he hears Kendall moan sleepily.

"Please wake up," Carlos whispers as he presses the heel of his hand against Kendall's cock, rubbing it slowly.

Kendall moans again and thrusts his hips forward. "Don't wanna," he grumbles.

"But... don't you wanna fuck me?" The words are whispered against Kendall's ear and Carlos drags his lips across the shell, biting the lobe gently.

That only pulls a groan from Kendall's chest and Carlos pulls back, licking his lips as he gently pushes his husband onto his back. Kendall goes willingly and he turns his head, nuzzling against the pillow with a few quiet noises and his eyes screwed shut, hands laying on the bed beside him. Carlos huffs and straddles his lap, running both hands down the middle of his chest and over his stomach, dipping his fingertips into the V of Kendall's hips before curling them underneath the waistband of his boxers.

Gently, Carlos lifts the fabric away and sits up on his knees, pulling Kendall's boxers down his thighs before letting them stop at his knees. He pushes the sheet away from them and scoots down Kendall's legs before leaning in to kiss his chest, dragging his lips from one collarbone to the other. When Kendall stirs and makes a noise in his sleep, Carlos moves down and bites on one of his nipples, just barely tugging it before moving down further, dragging his tongue along the middle of Kendall's stomach.

Another breeze blows through the open doors and Carlos shivers, closing his eyes as he drops down to Kendall's cock. He blinks and takes a deep breath before tracing the head with the tip of his tongue, dragging it down the underside and back up slowly, glancing up at Kendall to see if he's awake. It doesn't surprise him to see that his husband's eyes are closed and he chuckles, shaking his head slowly as he wraps a hand around the base of Kendall's cock, taking the head between his lips.

As soon as Carlos does this, Kendall groans and moves a hand to his stomach, scratching it idly as he just barely moves his hips forward. He tosses his head around on the pillow while Carlos takes half of his cock into his mouth, sucking hard enough to wake him up and he looks down, blinking sleepily. When Carlos looks up at him and grins (as much as he can with a mouthful of cock, that is), Kendall groans and bites his lower lip, sliding a hand to the back of his husband's head.

"Great way to be woken up," he mutters, yawning as he settles back against the pillow with his head tilted to the side, eyes on Carlos.

Carlos pulls back and licks his lips, stroking Kendall slowly. "Didn't know of any other ways to get you up."

"Mmm, I'm good with this way."

With a snort, Carlos leans down to drag his tongue along the head of Kendall's cock again, tonguing the slit before going down to the base. He moves around and sucks at the underside, running his fingers along the shaft before dropping them down to his balls, teasing them lightly. When Kendall sucks in a deep breath and tightens his grip on Carlos' hair, he smiles and licks his way back up, wrapping his lips around the head again before sucking harder than before.

"Jesus - _ngh_  - fucking Christ..."

Smirking slightly, Carlos hums and takes Kendall's cock all the way into his mouth, gagging a little before relaxing his throat. He stays still for a second and then moves back up, sucking hard and hollowing his cheeks out before going back down, rolling Kendall's balls between his fingertips, humming again when he hears his husband groan loudly above him. After sinking back down, Carlos swallows the best he can and pulls off completely before he can choke again, his hand wrapped around the base as he takes a deep breath, glancing up at Kendall.

Kendall opens his mouth to say something but Carlos' mouth slides down on his cock before he can say anything and he groans, letting his eyes flutter shut as he cups the back of his husband's head to help guide him up and down. He swallows thickly when Carlos' throat flutters around his cock and he gasps when he pulls away, sucking slow and hard until just the head is between his lips and then he flicks his tongue against it, teasing the slit slowly. That makes Kendall arch his back slightly and he moans Carlos' name, fingers gripping his hair tightly.

Carlos moves away and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he leans up, kissing Kendall's stomach. "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you - love you too," Kendall breathes, gasping when he feels Carlos' teeth sink into his hip. "Fucking tease."

"You love it."

Shaking his head and huffing, Kendall looks down at Carlos with a lazy smile. "Yeah," he says, "I guess I do."

Returning the smile, Carlos kisses his way up Kendall's stomach and chest, pressing his lips against his shoulder. He presses his body against Kendall's and smirks when he groans, rolling their hips together in a way that makes Carlos bite down on his skin to keep from moaning. When he feels his cock slide against Kendall's, Carlos bites down harder and draws a small amount of blood, cleaning it up with his tongue.

"Gross," Kendall murmurs and Carlos just laughs, shrugging as he pulls away. "Where are you going? Stay."

"I'm getting out of my briefs and I'm going to see if they have one of those love kits in here." With a wink, Carlos stands up and pushes his underwear down, letting it fall around his ankles and kicking it away. Before he can move away from the bed, Kendall sits up and smacks his ass, laughing when he lays back against the mattress with an innocent smile when Carlos yelps and turns to glare at him.

Kendall licks his lips and lets his eyes roam across Carlos' body as he walks around the room, checking all the drawers before going around the end of the bed and to the nightstand. He opens the first drawer, rummages around, and tosses a box at Kendall with a grin on his face, shutting the drawer with the side of his thigh.

After grabbing the box, Kendall looks at it and starts to laugh. "They actually have one? How'd you know?"

"Most fancy hotels like this have one," Carlos answers and shrugs as he kneels on the edge of the bed. "What's in it?"

"Condoms, lube for...  _her pleasure_. So I guess you're getting extra pleasure tonight, Litos."

Shaking his head, Carlos comes forward and takes the box from Kendall's hands. "I don't care as long as it works," he murmurs as he slides one of his husband's hands to the middle of his stomach, pushing it down toward his cock. "Now, touch me."

"Bossy." Kendall chuckles and wraps his hand around Carlos' cock, stroking it slowly as he leans in to kiss his chest, moving down to tug at one of his nipple rings. He gives each of them a sharp tug and squeezes the base of his husband's cock before maneuvering himself so that he's kneeling in front of Carlos, his hand dropping away for a moment before moving back, thumb brushing along the slit.

Carlos sits back against the headboard and moves his hands to Kendall's shoulders, fingertips digging into the muscle. "Fuck," he breathes.

"Lay down on the bed." The words come out of Kendall's mouth as he backs away, sitting on the edge of the mattress to watch Carlos, who growls and pushes his bottom lip out sullenly... but obeys anyway. Once he's settled on the mattress with his legs spread, Carlos looks at Kendall again and bites the inside of his cheek, every inch of his body feeling as though it's on fire.

Taking a deep breath, Kendall looks at Carlos and comes forward, sliding a hand across his lower abdomen. He drags his fingertips up and moves them in an 's' pattern until he gets to his husband's nipples and then he stops, pressing his thumb against one of them. As he rubs in a slow circle, Kendall moves his free hand to Carlos' side and touches his tattoo lightly, dragging his fingertips along the shapes slowly, knowing each line from memory.

A shuddering gasp leaves Carlos' throat and he arches his back slightly, tugging at the skin of his lower lip when Kendall presses down on his nipple harder, rubbing it the best he can. His eyes flutter shut for a moment and fly open when Kendall's touch fades away, Carlos whining as he looks down at his husband, biting down on his lip when he starts to take the rings out with the tip of his tongue caught between his teeth in concentration.

Once the rings are finally out, Kendall places them on the nightstand and climbs onto Carlos' lap before leaning down to kiss his chest. He moves over to take one of his his husband's nipples between his teeth and bites down just hard enough to make Carlos moan and shove a hand into his hair, tugging at the roots as he rolls his hips forward. Chuckling softly, Kendall wraps his lips around Carlos' nipple before sucking slowly, moving his hand to the other and rubbing it with the pad of his middle finger, pressing their hips together.

"Christ, just - just fuck me," Carlos whimpers, the words breathless. "Fuck, Kendall."

Kendall shakes his head and looks up, smiling. "Someone's impatient," he mutters.

"And hard as fuck. Please, baby, just fuck me. We have forever to do this just...  _please_."

Hearing Carlos beg makes Kendall shiver and he moves up, catching his husband's lips in a biting kiss. His hands find Carlos' and he pins them on the bed above his head, holding him against the mattress as he rolls his hips down, their cocks sliding together. They moan at the same time and Kendall pulls away, breathing heavily against Carlos' lips before kissing him again, tongue pressing against his roughly until Carlos angles his hips in a way that makes Kendall pull away, head falling onto the other man's shoulder.

"Fuck," he pants, lips brushing along Carlos' shoulder before he pulls away. "On your knees."

Carlos licks his lips, nods, and rolls over when Kendall lets go of his hands. He scrambles onto his hands and knees, dropping his chest toward the mattress so that his ass sticks up for Kendall and he smirks when he hears the other man groan behind him. Turning his head, Carlos watches as Kendall takes a bottle of lube and condoms from the box before tossing it onto the floor, the sound making him shiver with anticipation. When he hears the bottle open, Carlos closes his eyes and turns back to face the headboard, letting his chin rest atop of his forearm.

Not wanting to waste any time, Kendall pours lube onto three of his fingers and drops the bottle onto the mattress. He spreads Carlos' ass quickly and pushes the digits against his entrance, sliding them in slowly, not worried about hurting his husband because it hasn't been long since they had sex and Carlos is still pretty loose. Once they're all the way in, Kendall stills them and moves a hand around to stroke Carlos' cock slowly, separating his fingers as he does.

"Ken -  _Kendall_ , please," Carlos whimpers when Kendall starts to move his fingers, rocking his hips back against the other man's hand.

Licking his lips, Kendall leans down to bite Carlos' shoulder, dragging his teeth down slowly. "Please what," he whispers.

"Fuck me.."

"I don't know. I kind of like finger fucking you right now." Kendall smirks and straightens up, sliding his hand away from Carlos' cock. He splays it against the small of his back and starts to pull his fingers out halfway before sliding them back in. Once they're in fully, Kendall crooks his fingertips and scissors them, biting down on his lower lip when Carlos gasps loudly, his muscles tightening around the digits.

The breeze blowing through the window does nothing to cool Carlos' body down. He feels hot all over and his cock is throbbing, wanting to be touched, and he whimpers as he rolls his hips back against Kendall's hand desperately. A long whine escapes when Kendall drags his fingers out of Carlos and he lets out a disappointed noise when they leave all together, his body sagging against the mattress. Carlos breathes heavily and screws his eyes shut, lifting his ass in invitation to Kendall, just hoping that he'll take the hint and fuck him already.

Kendall looks down at Carlos and presses two fingertips against his entrance again, running them around the rim slowly. He sinks them in once more and grins when his husband moans his name loudly, his muscles tightening and relaxing around Kendall's fingers as they side in all the way. They still again and Kendall reaches for the condom with his free hand, bringing it up to his mouth before tearing the top of the wrapper off with his teeth. As he takes the latex out, he starts to move his fingers in and out quickly, crooking them when he grazes over the spot that makes Carlos' entire body twitch.

When the condom is out of the wrapper, Kendall very carefully slides it over his cock and rolls it down until it's snug at the base. He continues to finger Carlos languidly, twisting the digits inside of him as he reaches for the lube, popping the top with his thumb before drizzling some over his shaft. After capping the bottle and tossing it onto the mattress, Kendall strokes his cock slowly and pulls his fingers out of Carlos, immediately pressing the head against his entrance, not giving him time to adjust before sliding into him.

"Fuh - fuck,  _ohmygod_. Feels so...  _so_  good, Kendall."

Closing his eyes, Kendall takes a deep breath and presses his hips against Carlos' ass. "Fuck," he breathes and moves a hand up between Carlos' shoulders, splaying his fingers against the smooth, tanned skin. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Carlos answers, rolling his hips against Kendall's, "I'm great. Now: _fuck_. _me_."

The words come out in a slight growl and Kendall shudders, sliding his hand up to the back of Carlos' head, fingers tangling in his hair. He holds on and starts to pull out slowly, getting his cock halfway out before slamming back in, the two of them gasping together. When he starts to move in and out again, Kendall wraps his free hand around Carlos' hip and digs his fingertips into his skin, leaving half-moon marks from how hard he's gripping.

Sweat starts to trickle down the back of his neck and Kendall screws his eyes shut, breathing deeply through his nose as he rocks his hips, slamming into Carlos as hard as he can. He stills when his husband groans and pants his name, breath coming harder than it did before and Kendall pulls his hand away, sliding it across his shoulders soothingly.

After a moment, Kendall starts moving again. He slides his other hand down, wraps it around Carlos' hip, and pulls his cock out until just the head is buried inside of his husband before pulling his ass against his hips tightly. A loud gasp fills the air and Kendall hunches forward a bit, his body bent in half over Carlos' back as he breathes in deeply, feeling Carlos' muscles tighten and relax around him.

"Christ," he gasps, moving a hand along his husband's side as he thrusts in and out slowly. "Love fucking you like this and being able to pull you back against me, slam your ass back against my cock. Feels so good, Litos, so fucking amazing." Kendall babbles incessantly and Carlos responds with a gasped 'yes' as he starts to rotate his hips, moving them against Kendall.

Carlos pushes himself up onto his elbows and lets his head hang down. "Love you so much," he whispers and the last word tapers off into a moan when he feels Kendall slam into him, the hand on his side gripping just underneath his ribs. "Touch me, Kendall. Please, oh... god, please baby. I w-wanna come with your cock inside of me, wanna feel you."

All of Carlos' words make Kendall's head spin and he feels dizzy, his body trembling as he slides his hand down, splaying it against his husband's stomach. He drags it down, brushes his thumb over the head, and then drops it to grab the lube with shaky fingers. Stilling his hips, Kendall opens the bottle and pours some of the lube onto his palm before tossing it aside, wrapping his fingers around Carlos' cock when he starts thrusting again. His hand glides effortlessly up and down Carlos' cock and Kendall leans down, pressing his forehead against the space between his husband's shoulders.

Having Kendall's hand around his cock makes Carlos groan and shudder, his hips moving forward and then backwards. He pants and presses his forehead against the pillow in front of him, whining when he feels Kendall's cock slide out of him, the head running along his entrance before sinking back in, causing him to gasp loudly. Carlos keeps his mouth hanging open and wants to say something, anything, but the words get caught in his throat and he lets out a moan instead, his hips moving against Kendall's.

"Come for me," Kendall rasps, licking his lips as he straightens up, moving his free hand along Carlos' ass. He lifts it away and brings it down, groaning at the noise his hand makes when it collides with Carlos' skin, the hand on his cock stilling at the base. Everything is hot and Kendall is sweating, feeling drops of it slide down between his shoulders and along his spine, even causing his hair to stick to his skull.

When Kendall spanks him, Carlos wants to beg for more; he wants to tell Kendall to do whatever he wants but, again, the words don't come out. So, instead, he continues to move back and forth, his knees shaking underneath his weight, threatening to go out before he even has the chance to come. He's determined not to collapse on the bed with Kendall's cock in him so Carlos straightens up, moving his hands to the top of the headboard, the new angle making him moan loudly when his husband slams into him again.

"Fuck, fuck... getting close." As he speaks, Carlos drops his forehead to the crook of his elbow and he keeps it there, panting heavily. He licks his lips and moans loudly, nearly screaming when Kendall starts getting rougher with his thrusts and the spanking. The constant  _smacksmacksmack_  of his hand against Carlos' ass is what sends him over the edge and he grunts loudly, his stuttering against Kendall's hand as he comes.

Carlos' muscles tighten around him when he comes and Kendall stills his hips, groaning around his bitten lip. He continues to stroke the other man through his orgasm and rubs his ass soothingly, glancing down at it to see the welts that are already appearing and, fuck, that's one of the hottest things Kendall has ever seen. When Carlos comes down from his orgasm, Kendall drops his hand away and starts fucking him again, going nice and slow this time because he doesn't need much to make himself come.

It only takes a handful of thrusts and Carlos' fingernails digging into his hip to make Kendall come. He pushes his hips against Carlos' ass, groans loudly, and starts gasping as he comes, his husband's name coming from his lips in a breathy moan. The room gets ten degrees hotter and Kendall can feel the sweat pouring off his body, dripping down the back of his head and dampening his hair. When his orgasm subsides, Kendall pulls out of Carlos slowly and settles back on his heels, looking at his husband with half-lidded eyes.

"That was..." Carlos huffs and lets go of the headboard before turning to look at Kendall, grinning. "Great," he finishes.

Kendall nods in agreement and gives Carlos a lazy smile. "Mm," he hums.

For the next few minutes, neither of them speak and Kendall takes the condom off, tying it before tossing it onto the carpet. He gives Carlos a smile and moves to stand next to the bed, his legs shaking so badly that he nearly falls on his way to the bathroom. When this happens, Kendall stands still until he regains his balance and then continues on his way to the other room, flipping the light on with a groan, his eyes squinting as the bright lights come on.

Once his eyes are adjusted to the bright light, Kendall grabs a towel and wets it before joining Carlos on the bed. He cleans himself up and hands the towel to his husband before tossing a sheet over the mess Carlos made, laughing when he thinks of how awkward it's going to be when they have to ask for new sheets in the morning. Sighing, Kendall lays down on the mattress and avoids the wet spot, placing a kiss on Carlos' thigh before settling back against the pillow.

Carlos throws the towel onto the floor when he's done cleaning himself and lays down next to Kendall, pulling a sheet over them. He wraps both arms around the other man's waist and kisses him gently, smiling against his lips before easing away with a quiet yawn. Closing his eyes, Carlos ducks down and buries his face against the crook of Kendall's neck, muttering 'goodnight' before letting himself fall asleep. He's vaguely aware of Kendall's arms wrapping around him before he finally dozes off.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: nothing, 'cept the boys experiencing Hawaii.]

Kendall and Carlos stay in their hotel for the first two days of their trip. They only come out for food, fresh air, and to let someone come in and change the sheets for a while; even then they don't stray far and end up making out in the lobby, giving a show to fellow tourists and natives that pass by.

All they do is fuck, sleep, lay in bed with each other and cuddle, watching bad TV in their room with the windows open...

Until Carlos begs to go swimming.

**x x**

"Come on, it'll be fun! I overheard some of the guests saying that they were doing it today and I really wanna go," Carlos begs, pushing his bottom lip out as far as it will go until Kendall finally cracks and sighs, mumbling an agreement under his breath. "Great! Now, get your swim trunks on and meet me out here in five minutes."

Carlos bounds toward the bathroom and shuts the door behind him, leaving Kendall to stare in the direction he went. He shakes his head, rolls off the mattress, and goes to rummage through one of his bags, looking for a pair of blue shorts with white stripes. Once he's located his clothing, Kendall replaces his boxer briefs with the shorts and grabs a tank top, slipping it on quickly. Sighing, Kendall goes over toward the door and slips his Vans on quickly, bending down to fix the back before straightening up, leaning against the wall as he waits for Carlos.

A few moments later, Carlos comes out wearing a pair of brown shorts and a black tank top, a grin spread across his face. "Ready?" he asks as he goes to pull his shoes on, walking over to Kendall once his feet are in them. "I'm so excited! I can't wait to see fish."

"We're going to see fish?" Kendall asks and raises a brow, pushing himself off the wall.

"Mhm," his husband answers, dragging the  _'m'_ s out. "We're going cliff jumping and swimming."

Kendall stares at Carlos and pulls his brows together. "Um," he mutters, "I dunno about that."

"Come  _on_ , Kendall! It'll be fun and I'll jump with you, okay? I'll hold your hand." As he says this, Carlos slides his palm against Kendall's and laces their fingers together, giving him a huge, warm smile that makes all of his worries go away.

"Alright, come on. Don't want to be late, do we?"

The two of them walk into the hall, hand in hand, and Kendall locks the room before heading down to the elevator with Carlos. He listens to his husband talk about how exciting - and scary - cliff jumping must be and how badly he wanted to see the fish, to swim with them. It all makes Kendall laugh and, when they get to the elevator, he pushes the down button and bends down to kiss Carlos softly, smiling against his lips.

When they ease apart, Carlos licks his lips and hums. "What was that for?"

"Just wanted to kiss you," Kendall answers and shrugs, grinning slightly as he pushes Carlos back into the elevator once the doors open. Just when he's about to lean down and kiss Carlos again, Kendall hears people coming down the hall, telling them to hold the elevator for them. He hits the 'open doors' button and stands beside his husband, wrapping an arm around his shoulders when a couple - who can't be but a few years older - joins them.

The woman smiles at Kendall and looks between the two of them. "Newlyweds?"

"Yes ma'am." As Carlos answers, he wraps his arms around Kendall's waist and leans up to kiss his cheek. He turns back to the other couple and smiles brightly, resting his head against the taller boy's shoulder. "What about you two?"

"Oh, we've been married for a few years," the husband answers, wrapping an arm around his wife's shoulders. "You look familiar."

Kendall smiles and nods his head, resting his chin against the top of Carlos' head as they descend down to the lobby. "I get that a lot," he answers and leaves it at that, intent on not making a big deal about who he is. They're supposed to be on vacation and he wants to be as anonymous as possible.

When they get to the lower level, Kendall allows the other couple to go out before them and the pulls Carlos out of the elevator, kissing his forehead before slipping his hand down, pushing it into Carlos' back pocket. They walk to the front desk where a group of people are standing in their swim suits and Carlos asks someone if they're in the group that's going cliff jumping. When they nod and say they are, he squeals in delight and snakes an arm around Kendall's waist, holding on tightly.

**x x**

Forty minutes later, they arrive at the cliff they're going to be jumping from. Everyone drove themselves and Kendall puts the Jeep in park on the trail behind a little Toyota, smiling at Carlos before they climb out of the car, leaving their phones in the glove compartment. They walk toward the edge with the rest of the group and hold each other's hand, Kendall squeezing Carlos' tightly when they get close enough to look over the rocks.

And the water is so gorgeous it nearly takes Kendall's breath away.

"Alright," their guide says, clapping his hands together, "who wants to go first?"

Everyone looks around before a few hands shoot up. The guide - a man name Manuel - motions them forward and instructs everyone else to back up. Kendall moves with Carlos and takes a deep breath, watching the first couple jump off the edge of the cliff. The woman screams and Kendall's heart starts to beat wildly, wondering how he even let Carlos talk him into doing this.

After the first couple goes, another one jumps and Kendall winces when he hears the faint slap of their bodies hitting the water. Carlos catches it and squeezes his hand gently, brushing his shoulder against his husband's bicep. They keep watching as couples jump, one by one, off the cliff and soon they're one of three couples left.

"Who's up next?"

Carlos looks up at Kendall and smiles. "We are," he says, dropping his hand so he can step forward. He takes his shoes off and tosses them onto the trail before slipping his tank top over his head, balling it up and tossing it in the direction his shoes went. When he's down to just his trunks, Carlos turns to look at Kendall, raising an eyebrow.

Swallowing thickly, Kendall comes forward and pulls his shirt off, tossing it away before slipping out of his shoes. He throws them and comes closer, taking Carlos' hand as he looks over the edge of the cliff, gulping. He closes his eyes and thinks about everyone back in Minnesota, wondering if they'll be told that he screamed like a girl before he fell to his death. His very watery death.

"Ready?" Carlos asks and Kendall shakes his head, blinking his eyes open when his husband laughs. "It'll be okay. Count to three?"

Kendall nods and swallows again. "One," he says.

"Two."

"Three..."

After the word leaves Kendall's mouth, they jump.

The air blows past them and Kendall lets go of Carlos' hand as he falls toward the water, screaming at the top of his lungs. It seems like he's falling forever... until his body hits the water with a loud splash and he sinks under the surface a few feet before coming up, gasping loudly. He kicks his legs and moves his arms, opening his eyes to look around for Carlos, his heart dropping when he doesn't see him right away but he breathes a sigh of relief when his husband resurfaces a few yards away, grinning broadly.

Carlos swims over and wraps his arms around Kendall's neck, the two of them bobbing in the water. "That was fun," he says.

"Yeah, not bad at all." Kendall laughs and kisses Carlos softly. "Let's not do this again, okay? I nearly pissed myself up there."

Laughing quietly, Carlos nods and pulls away to swim toward shore, turning to look at Kendall. He keeps going when his husband follows him and helps him onto the rocks, laughing again when Kendall's swim trunks fall down his hips slightly, exposing his sharp v-cut. Before they fall any more, Carlos pulls them up for Kendall and leans up on his tiptoes to kiss him softly, moaning against his lips.

"You wanna go snorkeling?" Kendall asks when they ease apart and he runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back against his scalp. "You said you wanted to see fish and, well, I didn't see many while I was under water because my eyes were closed."

"I'd love to!"

There's a truck waiting for them at the bottom of the trail and Carlos climbs into the back. Kendall follows suit and they sit in the bed while they wait for the last two couples to arrive, their fingers loosely tangled. It takes a good fifteen minutes for the other people to come and they join Kendall and Carlos on the back of the truck, all of them making small talk on their way up the trail.

When they get back to the top of the cliff, Kendall goes to grab their clothes as Carlos starts the Jeep. They head back down the trail and drive to one of the tourist centers in town to figure out where the best place to go snorkeling is. Kendall goes inside to get the information while Carlos sits on in the car talking to his mother on the phone; he's still gushing about the cliff-jumping when Kendall gets back to the car and he chuckles, handing his husband a pamphlet.

**x x**

Three hours later, Kendall and Carlos head to the beach. They meet up with their snorkeling instructor and are given the basic tips before being thrown into the water with the fish. They swim together and Carlos points out colourful schools of fish as they pass and Kendall smiles, chuckling as much as he can at his husband's enthusiasm over the fish. Snorkeling takes a few hours and, by the time they're done, Kendall is starving so he takes Carlos back to the hotel to get showered and changed before going out to dinner.

Kendall specifically picked a restaurant that was fancy because they haven't been to many of those. Despite the look - and feel - of the place, they wear casual clothing and sit at a table in the back. Carlos orders a bottle of wine because Kendall still isn't old enough and they hold hands while they look over their menus, both of them pointing out different things they want to try.

"So," Kendall asks as he sets his menu down, running his thumb along Carlos' knuckles. "How's the honeymoon been so far?"

Carlos blushes and bites at his lip, looking at Kendall through his lashes. "It's been amazing," he answers, giving Kendall a smile. "Perfect."

"I'm glad you're having a good time. I'm sorry I, uh, kept you in the room for a while when we first got here." A blush creeps along Kendall's cheeks and he clears his throat, turning to the waitress when she comes over, apologizing for interrupting them. He says that it's fine and places his order, listening to Carlos place his before the girl walks away, leaving them alone again. "We'll come back to Hawaii again and experience everything else," he promises, even though the honeymoon is far from being over.

"We'll have to come here with Logan and Camille," Carlos says and Kendall nods, smiling. "I talked to my mom and she said they're back from their trip early because Camille got sick and missed Isaac so much."

Frowning, Kendall drags the pad of his thumb along the back of Carlos' hand. "That sucks," he mutters.

"Mhm. It still feels weird, you know? Being married and having friends that have a baby."

"It feels surreal," Kendall agrees, smiling at Carlos. "But I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Carlos' lips twitch and he grins, nodding slowly. "Me either," he says.

They fall silent for a while and their food is brought to them quickly. When the wine comes, Kendall holds his glass up and toasts to being happy; to having a perfect little family and being married to the most amazing man in the world. They clink their glasses together and Carlos drains half of his wine before setting it down and eating, looking at Kendall every so often.

Conversation ranges from what they think everyone else is doing and when Kendall thinks he's going to put another album out. Carlos keeps opening his mouth to tell Kendall something but he changes his mind at the last minute, saying something else and asking different questions while he pushes his thought to the back of his mind. He waits until dessert comes to spring the idea on his husband and waits for a moment when Kendall doesn't have anything in his mouth so he won't choke.

"I want to have a baby."

When Carlos says this, Kendall stares at him and sets his fork down, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. "You... want a baby," he repeats.

"After seeing Logan and Camille with Isaac... I've really want to start a family with you," Carlos answers, swallowing thickly. He's about to cry and he squeezes his eyes shut, taking in a deep breath. When he opens them, Kendall is smiling and tapping his fingertips against the base of his wine glass, bobbing his head slowly.

"Okay."

Carlos blinks and his forehead furrows. "Wait, okay?"

"Yeah," Kendall says, shrugging a shoulder. "I mean, it can't be for a while, obviously, but why not? We can start a family. Maybe find a surrogate that's willing to work with us and... you could have a biological child. A baby that looks exactly like you."

Tears prickle at the edges of Carlos' eyes and lifts a hand to wipe them away, chuckling weakly. "You don't think I'm crazy?"

"Why would I think you're crazy, baby?" Frowning, Kendall moves a hand to touch Carlos' and smiles softly. "I want to have a family with you. I want to have as many kids as you want and I want our house to be full but, first, we actually need a house. We need to be set up in a permanent place that isn't Logan's house because I know they don't want us to stay there forever," he says.

"So... house and then a baby?"

Kendall nods, dragging his thumb along the back of Carlos' fingers. "We'll look into the baby thing as soon as we have a house."

"I love you," Carlos breathes and he chuckles again, closing one of his eyes as he tilts his head slightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby, and I know that you're going to make a perfect father," Kendall replies, smirking. "Does that make me the mom?"

Snorting softly, Carlos lifts a hand and wipes his eyes again. "Not unless you're having them," he murmurs.

"Oh, no, I don't think my body would handle a pregnancy well. I have childbearing hips, yeah, but... it would ruin my dancer's figure."

"Dancer's figure," Carlos repeats, snorting again.

A smirk creeps along Kendall's face and he stands, leaning over to kiss Carlos' forehead. "How many do you want?"

"How many do... I want?"

"Yeah, kids. One, two, three, four? Sixteen? Give me a ballpark number."

Carlos pulls his mouth up at one corner and shrugs his shoulders. "Two," he answers, nodding. "One that's mine and one that's yours."

"You're serious?" Kendall asks, smiling brightly. "What if we get blessed with twins the first time?"

"Then we'll have three," Carlos answers and he holds his hand up when Kendall opens his mouth to say something. "And if we get blessed with twins - or multiples - we'll just have more kids than we'll know how to deal with."

Nodding, Kendall finishes his dessert and motions for the waitress. He asks for the check when she comes over and he watches Carlos, imagining having a baby that looks like him and, god, Kendall wants it. He didn't think about it before but now that the idea is in his head? It's all he can think about. It's something he wants badly and he wants to start their family soon, fuck waiting.

**x x**

After paying the check, Kendall leads Carlos out to the Jeep and leans him against it, kissing him slowly. He pulls back and rubs at his husband's hips, staring down at his eyes which are lit up by the soft moonlight. Sighing, Kendall nudges his nose against Carlos' and pulls away, opening the door for him; he shuts it when Carlos is in the Jeep and goes around to climb behind the wheel.

When they get back to the hotel, Carlos strips down to his boxers and lays on the mattress watching at Kendall goes to open the balcony doors. He pulls his clothes off on his way back to the bed and drops the fabric onto the floor, smiling at his husband before climbing onto the bed beside him. They pull a thin sheet over their bodies and Kendall wraps an arm around Carlos' waist, burying his face against the other man's neck.

"I want a boy and a girl," Carlos mumbles, running his fingertips along the length of Kendall's forearm.

Kendall hums and nods slowly. "I'll take whatever we're given," he whispers, nudging the tip of his nose against the hinge of Carlos' jaw.

"A boy that looks like you and a girl that looks like me."

"One with black hair and curls," Kendall says and chuckles quietly. "With big brown eyes that she'll use against us whenever she wants something."

Carlos laughs and nods, turning to kiss Kendall's cheek. "A boy with dirty blonde hair and green eyes, dimples that will steal every girl's heart," he whispers.

"Or the boy's."

They laugh and Carlos nods, turning over in Kendall's arms. He wraps his own around his husband's waist and kisses him slowly, lips ghosting over Kendall's before he whispers "goodnight" against them, sighing contently as he ducks his head. Carlos curls up against Kendall's chest and listens to his heartbeat, smiling as he falls asleep, dreaming about babies running around their future house.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: cuteness.]

The rest of their honeymoon passes in a blur of sex, swimming, and spending time with couples whose names Kendall can never remember.

When they leave, Kendall is happy to go back to his family and to see Isaac. Mostly, though, he's excited about looking for a house for him and Carlos.

**x x**

A week after they get back from Hawaii, Kendall starts looking at houses. He does this mainly because he wants a place of his own but also because he wants to hurry and start his family with Carlos. Ever since the night Carlos brought it up, all Kendall can think about is a baby. A tiny, precious, perfect addition to their already amazing family that would look like Carlos... or him. Whoever they decide is going to father a baby first.

The house hunting is boring, for the most part, but then Kendall stumbles upon real estate websites that give virtual tours of beautiful houses. He does this with each house he likes and knows that they can afford, scrawling down the address along with the name and number of the Realtor that's selling it. By the time he's done looking on the websites, Kendall has a list of twenty possible homes that he could see himself and Carlos living in, with a family.

After writing everything down, Kendall starts calling each Realtor. He asks when he can see the house and most of them say they're not prepared for viewing at the time but will be ready within a month. Kendall can't wait a month and he thanks them before hanging up, scratching the possibility off his list before going onto the next one.

Kendall scratches fifteen houses off the list and ends up with five that are ready to show and, furthermore, ready to live in.

When Carlos comes home that night, Kendall shows him the houses that are ready and gets his opinion on them.

"Camille's mom is selling these two," he says as he clicks back to show Carlos two houses; one of them is a big, old looking house, and another is smaller and newer but still beautiful. Kendall loves both of them and Carlos looks at them, resting his chin on Kendall's shoulder as he hums. "You don't have to make up your mind right  _now_ , Litos. She said we could come look at them tomorrow and the other three are available for viewing tomorrow, too."

Carlos smirks and turns to look at Kendall. "Available for viewing?"

"That's what the Realtor lady said."

"Sure." Carlos laughs and pecks Kendall on the cheek, smiling when he pulls back. "I like the smaller house. I don't think we need that much room and the yard is really pretty," he says and chuckles before adding, "and there's a garage where I can work on cars."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall circles that option on his paper and shuts his laptop. "You and your cars," he mutters.

"You and your music," Carlos says, mimicking Kendall's tone.

The sound of Isaac's giggling makes both of them shut up and Kendall makes a face at the baby, who giggles more. "Gimme the baby," he says and holds his hands out to Camille, wiggling his fingers at Isaac, who reaches for him. "Hey, buddy." Kendall holds Isaac to his chest and pats his back, handing him a toy that had been laying on the counter.

"You were looking at houses?" Camille asks, peeking at the piece of paper next to Kendall and he shrugs. "Tired of living with us already?"

"Kind of," Carlos answers and smirks, going over to the fridge. "What do you guys want for dinner?"

Camille and Kendall look at each other, both of them grinning. "Fajitas," they answer together and Isaac makes a noise like he agrees.

"You can't eat fajitas yet but in a couple of years? Watch out." Laughing, Kendall stands up and situates Isaac onto his hip, bouncing him slightly. "Your mom is going to show us two houses tomorrow and we may be moved out before you and Logan get back from work."

Carlos snorts and starts pulling stuff out of the fridge, setting it on the counter. "I don't think we'll be moved in that fast," he mumbles.

"My mom says that it takes a few days for it to be approved."

"Well, whatever. Maybe we'll have a house tomorrow. You want that, Isaac? Want uncle Kendall and uncle Carlos to get their own house?" Isaac makes another noise and Kendall laughs, kissing the top of his head as he walks through the kitchen, jingling the toy in the baby's hand. "We'll still be over here every night to see you and your mommy and daddy, don't worry."

Camille, Carlos, and Kendall all laugh and fall into an easy conversation while Carlos makes dinner. Halfway through, Kendall gives Isaac back to Camille and goes to help his husband, arms snaking around his waist as he leans down to kiss his neck before asking if he needs any help. Carlos answers that, yes, he needs help and that Kendall can start cutting peppers.

By the time Logan gets home, dinner is ready and everyone eats happily. They all talk about work and their honeymoons, Logan wanting to see the pictures again for the millionth time but Camille tells him no because they're already seen them. Carlos laughs and promises to show them to Logan later, when Camille is asleep, and Kendall rolls his eyes.

His family is crazy but he wouldn't trade them for anything.

**x x**

Kendall wakes up in the morning to Isaac smacking him in the face and he laughs, blinking his eyes open to see the baby laying on his chest. "What are you doing in here? You should be with your mommy," he says and holds Isaac close as he sits up, yawning.

"I put him on the bed for a minute," Carlos says and sighs heavily, sitting on the edge of the bed with a smile. "Say 'it's time to wake up and go look at houses, uncle Kendall'."

"This fucking early in the morning?"

Snorting, Carlos points at the clock and Kendall's eyes follow. "It's ten in the morning," he says and Kendall mimics him.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes." Kendall sighs and makes a funny face at Isaac, who giggles and pulls a lock of his hair. "Can't I stay here and play with the baby all day while you go make money for us?"

"Nope." Carlos laughs, gets up, and walks around the end of the bed to take Isaac away from Kendall. "Besides, he's going to stay with his grandma Garcia, aren't you big guy? She's so excited to see you," he says, using the baby talk that Kendall used to think was annoying but now? Now it's just cute, especially when Carlos does it. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes."

Groaning loudly, Kendall rubs his face and pushes the sheets off his legs before swinging them over the side of the bed. He yawns and stands up, scratching along his lower abdomen as he follows Carlos into the hall, both of them going different ways. Kendall goes to the bathroom and Carlos goes downstairs, still talking to Isaac the whole way and Kendall can hear him until he shuts the bathroom door. Once he's inside, Kendall uses the bathroom, washes his hands, and starts brushing his teeth, examining himself in the mirror.

While he's brushing his teeth, Kendall looks at his forearm and thinks,  _"I need another tattoo."_  He spits in the sink, rinses his mouth out with water and then mouthwash, before drying his face on a towel from the rack. Kendall flips the light off and goes out into the hall, yawning as he heads back to his and Carlos' room, slipping inside quickly before shutting the door behind him.

Another tattoo would be nice. Maybe he'll talk to Carlos about it and they can get one together. The thought makes Kendall smile as he gets out of his boxers and kicks them across the floor, moving over to the dresser. He opens the drawers, grabs a pair of boxers out of one and a t-shirt and jeans from another, shutting them all before making his way over to the bed. Kendall pulls his shirt on and then steps into his underwear, snapping the elastic against his hips before slipping into his jeans.

Kendall runs a hand through his hair and makes sure his wedding ring is on before heading downstairs. He hops off the bottom one and goes into the kitchen, humming at the smell of coffee even before he steps foot into the room. His stomach growls loudly and Kendall goes over to the counter to snatch a muffin out of the box, stuffing a piece into his mouth on his way to the coffee maker. As he chews, Kendall grabs a coffee cup from the cabinet and sets it down before grabbing the coffee pot to fill it.

"Looking at houses today?" Logan asks and Kendall nods, mumbling ' _yes_ ' around the bite of muffin in his mouth. "Have fun with that."

Carlos comes in a second later and says, "Thanks. We should have fun, seeing as Camille's mom is going to be showing us around today."

"Don't let her convince you that we need to come to dinner." Logan goes over to Carlos and grips his shoulders. "Please," he begs.

"What's wrong with having dinner at her parents' house?"

"Absolutely nothing," Camille answers sweetly, giving Logan a smile when he turns to her. "I'm leaving for work now. I'm going to drop Isaac," she hefts the car seat up, "off at Sylvia's before I go. I'll be home by five and, please, don't order Indian food again. Make something... or order pizza."

When Camille turns and walks away, all three men salute her. She leaves the house and Logan breathes a sigh of relief. "Her mom has been hounding us to come by for dinner ever since we got back and I don't know what to tell her," he says.

"Tell her no thanks," Kendall answers after swallowing his muffin and a sip of coffee. "Say you're tired and weekends are for resting with your family."

"She's not that bad, Logan," Carlos mutters and he chuckles, stepping back with his hands in his pockets.

Logan rolls his eyes and laughs. "Says the guy who has the perfect mother  _and_  mother-in-law," he replies.

"Not everyone can have perfect mothers like us," Kendall comments, smirking against the rim of his coffee mug. He takes another sip and sets it back on the counter with a sigh, licking his lips. Eating after brushing his teeth was a bad idea; the coffee tastes like mint and the muffin has a weird after taste but Kendall doesn't mind. Not really. He's used to eating after brushing, anyway. "Are we ready to leave or can I go back to bed?"

Shaking his head, Carlos goes to the fridge and opens the door, grabbing a bottle of water. "I'm ready," he announces and turns, which prompts Kendall to stare at his ass because Carlos is wearing a tight pair of black jeans that make him look fantastic. "You coming?"

"Not yet." A giggle escapes and Kendall downs more coffee before dumping the rest down the sink. "I'm coming now," he announces and walks toward the living room, clapping a hand on Logan's shoulder on his way out. "See you later, dude."

"Have fun! Come back with a lease," he calls out and Kendall throws his hand up, giving him a thumbs up.

On his way outside, Kendall grabs a hoodie, one of his beanies, and his shoes. He pulls the beanie down on his head and slips his shoes on, glancing at himself one last time in the mirror before going outside, half running to the car. When he slides in the passenger seat, Kendall slumps back against it and yawns, covering his mouth with a hand as he turns, looking at Carlos. He smiles sleepily and leans over to kiss his husband's cheek before pulling back and putting his seat belt on.

"Which one are we looking at first?" Carlos asks as he starts the car and Kendall pulls a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket.

"Um," he unfolds the paper and hums, "the big Victorian. Melissa's going to be there in fifteen minutes."

Carlos nods and backs out of the driveway, shifting the car into drive once they're out in the road. He leaves one hand off the steering wheel and reaches over to grab Kendall's, lacing their fingers together. As he drives, Carlos runs his fingertip along the outline of Kendall's wedding band and smiles softly to himself, tapping his thumb against the steering wheel.

The ride is full of conversation about the house and which one they think would be better for raising a family and that subject makes Kendall talk about how badly he wants a baby. Carlos agrees and, out of the corner of his eye, Kendall can see him blush, which makes him smile and laugh. Having a family will be good for them and Kendall can't wait until it happens.

**x x**

When Carlos pulls into the driveway of the old Victorian house, Melissa is already waiting for them on the porch. Kendall waves to her and gets out once the car is parked, his eyes going immediately to the beautiful home in front of them. He stares at it in awe, mouth open slightly, and shakes his head to pull himself into reality before walking around the front of the car. His hand slides into Carlos' and they walk to the porch, both of them smiling brightly at Camille's mom.

"Good morning," Melissa says and she comes forward to hug them both. "I haven't seen you since the wedding and you two look fantastic!"

Kendall chuckles and nods, squeezing Carlos' hand lightly. "Thanks," he replies, "and so do you. As beautiful as ever."

"Can you believe I'm a  _grandmother_?"

"You're a grandma?" Melissa nods, going on with the joke, and Carlos gasps. "I would have never guessed!"

A warm laugh bubbles up and Melissa waves a hand dismissively. "You two are so sweet," she says and sighs. "Now, let's look at this house."

The three of them walk inside and, from the moment they step foot into the foyer, Kendall's head swivels around quickly. He's trying to look at everything at one and tries to pay attention to what Melissa is saying but everything is just so overwhelming. The house is beautiful on the inside and, if it were up to Kendall, he would say they wanted it.

"There are five bedrooms and three baths. One is in the master bedroom, one is downstairs, and the other is up stairs, at the end of the hall," Melissa narrates, making a sweeping motion toward the stairs as they walk further into the room and head to the kitchen. "The house was built in the forties and everything has been updated to make it more modern, except for the exterior."

Carlos takes a deep breath when they step into the kitchen. "Whoa," he says and Kendall nods in agreement because the kitchen is beautiful. There are black cabinets and marble counter tops; everything is shiny and new and there's two ovens on top of each other while the stove is further away, next to the sink. "It's gorgeous."

"Isn't it?" Melissa asks and she nods her head, looking around. "Like I said, everything was updated to be more modern and the remodel happened about a year ago, right before the old owners moved out."

"Can we see the upstairs?" Kendall asks and Melissa nods her head, motioning for the boys to go back the way they came. The head into the foyer again and, this time, it's Carlos who leads them through the tour with Camille's mom narrating. She tells them more about the house and the owners, even a little bit about the people who built it long ago.

When they get upstairs, they head into the first room they see and Carlos drops Kendall's hand to look around. "Is this a good place for a family?"

"You would have to baby and childproof a lot but, yes, I think it would be fine for a family."

"What about the other house?" Kendall asks and he shrugs when Carlos looks at him. "Just curious."

Melissa laughs and nods, leaning against the wall as she watches the two of them. "The other house, in my honest opinion, would be better for a family. It's not as big as this one and it doesn't have as many stairs, which can cause problems for a baby," she answers.

Biting his lip, Carlos comes over and wraps his arms around Kendall's waist. "It's nice but..."

"You like the other one," Kendall finishes for him and kisses the top of his head.

"Kind of. It's smaller than this one and I don't think we need all this space."

Kendall nods in agreement and looks at Melissa. "Next one?"

"I'll lead the way."

**x x**

Fifteen minutes later, Kendall and Carlos pull up in front of a beautiful house. It's considerably smaller than the last one but Kendall thinks that they'll have enough room for everything and maybe even have some space left over. They park in the driveway behind Melissa and follow her inside, their hands clasped as they look around.

Melissa takes them on the tour and Kendall falls in love with the house. It has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a spacious living room with a fireplace, and a big backyard where their kids could play one day. He thinks about getting a dog, too, when he sees the backyard and he decides to talk to Carlos about it while Melissa steps out front to take a phone call.

"What do you think?" Kendall asks, wrapping his arms around Carlos' waist as they walk around upstairs, going from one room to the next.

Carlos hums and puts his hands on Kendall's. "I like it," he says and turns to look up at his husband, smirking. "I like it a lot."

"Is this the one, though? Can you picture babies running around and us cooking in that kitchen?"

"I can picture us having sex in the master bedroom," Carlos mumbles and Kendall laughs, leaning down to bury his face against Carlos' neck. "I'm being serious, Kendall. I can picture us having sex in every room in this house and I really, really want to have sex in the living room."

Closing his eyes, Kendall sighs and lifts his head, whispering in Carlos' ear. "With the fireplace going?"

"Mhm."

"So are we saying yes on this one?"

Carlos bites at the edge of his lip and leads Kendall over to the window, looking down at the backyard. "Yeah," he says, "I want this house."

"Yes on the house," Kendall says, kissing Carlos' neck lightly. "What about a dog? Until we can have a baby."

"Depends on what kind of dog."

Pursing his lips, Kendall shrugs and presses another kiss to Carlos' neck. "Any kind of dog you want," he whispers.

They stand like that for a while and ease apart when Melissa comes up the stairs. Kendall takes Carlos' hand in his own and their fingers slot together as the two of them wait for Camille's mother to come into the room. When she does, she apologizes for the call and shoots them a strange look before asking if they've made a decision.

"Yeah," Kendall says, bobbing his head slightly, "we have."

"And...?"

Kendall laughs and licks his lips quickly, grazing his teeth over the lower one. "We wanna buy it," he answers.

A smile spreads across Melissa's face and she nods quickly. "I've got the papers down in my car. We'll sign them and you two will be home owners."

The three of them go downstairs and Melissa goes outside, leaving Kendall and Carlos inside. She finds them in the kitchen and she spreads the paper work across the counter, explaining what each one is before asking them if they're serious about this. When they say that they are, she has them sign the papers and congratulates them on their new house.

"When can we move in?" Carlos asks.

"You'll get a call in a couple of days and get the keys then."

Kendall smiles and looks around with a content sigh. "Thank you," he says when he turns back to Melissa and he hugs her.

She hugs back and chuckles. "You're welcome," she replies and smiles, looking at both of them. "You two are going to be happy here."

"Thank you," Carlos says and they walk out together. Before getting into the car, he looks at the house and turns to smile at Kendall, biting the middle of his lip before sighing happily. They're one step closer to starting their family and Carlos is growing excited, already wondering about baby names and nurseries.

They leave shortly after that and head to Carlos' parents' house.

**x x**

"How did house hunting go?" Sylvia asks and Kendall smirks, handing Isaac another cheerio.

"It went well," he answered and pops a piece of cereal into his mouth.

Carlos takes a seat next to him and rubs his hands together. "We bought a house," he says and bites his lip.

"Already? Aren't you supposed to look for a while?"

"Kendall's been looking at them and we found a few we liked. So, we went to see them and decided on the second one we saw."

Sylvia shakes her head and laughs, sliding Isaac' bottle across the table to Kendall. "I'm glad you two will finally have a home."

"Me too." Kendall smiles and starts feeding Isaac, humming. "We wanted to talk to you about something else, too."

"Right now?" Carlos asks, turning to glare at Kendall, who shrugs and mouths 'why not?'. "Okay, I guess we can tell her," he mumbles.

Grinning broadly, Kendall shifts Isaac in his arms and looks at Sylvia. "We want to start a family after we get settled into the house," he says, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Although he knows that his mother in law loves him and would be happy with anything they did, Kendall is still worried that she'll think that they're too young for a baby.

"A family," she parrots and Kendall nods, chewing on his lip. "You two just got married."

"We understand that," Carlos says," but I really want a baby. I've been around Camille and Isaac for too long and I really want a baby of my own. We really want this and... I'll understand if you don't approve but... we're still going to try."

Sylvia sighs and rests her elbow on the table, cupping her chin in her hand. "I'll support you with whatever you want to do, Litos, and you know that but you two just got back together, then got married, and now you're buying a house together. Don't you think that you should wait a year or two before you look into having a baby?"

Kendall opens his mouth to say something but Carlos beats him to it. "No, I don't think we should wait. I know what I want and if Kendall feels like we should wait then I'll wait but I think we're both on the same page here, right?"

"Yeah," Kendall replies, nodding slowly as he looks down at Isaac, running a finger over the back of his knuckles. "I'm ready to be a dad."

Another sigh comes from Sylvia and she nods, looking between her son and her son-in-law. "As long as you two are ready for it, then I'm behind you."

"Thank you, mom." Carlos reaches forward and takes one of her hands, smiling. "We're going to be okay."

After that, they change the subject to something a little less stressful and Kendall continues to feed Isaac. When he's done, Kendall sets the empty bottle on the table and rests Isaac against his shoulder, patting his back as he listens to Carlos and his mother talk, smiling softly. Their dreams were slowly coming true and Kendall couldn't believe it and part of him feels like he might wake up and be back in Boston with Dustin and none of this would have happened.

Kendall puts Isaac in his car seat once he's been burped and changed while Carlos says goodbye to his mother. He hugs Sylvia when it's his turn and promises to bring Logan and Camille around for dinner one day. After goodbyes have been exchanged, Kendall and Carlos take Isaac outside and put him in the car before heading home, the excitement of the day wearing down on them.

When they get back to Logan's, Carlos gets Isaac out of the car while Kendall goes to unlock the door, holding it open for his husband and nephew, smiling at both of them as they pass. He follows them, shuts the door, and toes out of his boots before shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it up on the hooks beside the door, yawning loudly.

"Wanna take a nap?" Carlos asks and Kendall nods eagerly, smiling as he goes to pick Isaac up out of his car seat. "I think he's read for one, too."

"Yeah, he's half asleep now." Smiling, Kendall cradles the baby to his chest and starts walking up the stairs carefully, apologizing softly when Isaac starts to coo and make noise. "We're almost there, shh," he whispers as he moves down the hall and toward the nursery. Once he's inside the room, Kendall takes Isaac over to the crib and lays him down, covering him up with one of the blankets. "Sleep well."

On his way out of the room, Kendall grabs the baby monitor and shuts the door, leaving just a crack, before heading down to his room. He walks in to find Carlos half naked and licks his lips quickly, whistling under his breath as he shuts the door behind him. Carlos turns around and blushes, running a hand along his side, fingers touching the tattoo there.

"Is he asleep?"

Kendall holds the baby monitor to his ear and nods, smiling. "Snoring," he says and moves forward, setting the device on the nightstand. He pulls his shirt off and tosses it onto the floor before removing his beanie, tossing it in the same direction. Yawning loudly, Kendall undoes his jeans and shimmies out of them, kicking them away before sliding into bed beside Carlos, sighing happily.

"Night, baby." Carlos turns onto his side and leans forward, kissing Kendall softly, smiling against his lips.

"Good afternoon." Smiling back, Kendall wraps his arms around Carlos and pulls him closer, sighing again.

They settle in and Carlos lays his head on Kendall's chest, falling asleep to the sound of his breathing and the gentle pull of fingers through his hair. It's not long after he falls asleep that Kendall does and he dreams of a family: him, Carlos, a baby, and a dog all living in their first house.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: drinking.]

**[a week later]**

It doesn't take Kendall and Carlos long to settle into their new home. They buy new furniture, splash warm and inviting colours onto the walls, and hang pictures of their family. There are photos of Carlos' parents, Alex, Kendall's mom, Logan, Camille, Isaac, and a few select pictures of James that Carlos insisted they hang because James was a part of their family too, even if he was no longer with them. Photographs of Kendall, Dustin, Kyle, and Josh are strewn about the walls, pictures from their tour and Kendall's time in California. The family he left behind.

The Friday after they move out of Logan's house, Kendall and Carlos decide to have a housewarming dinner for their family. It's a way to get them all together and show off the house all at once, instead of having their family over at different times. Carlos also suggested that they tell everyone about their plans of having a baby and, well, Kendall can't say no to his husband.

When Friday evening comes, Carlos stays in the kitchen cooking while Kendall puts everything together in the dining room. He sets the table perfectly (using their good dishes for the first time) and then tackles the daunting task of putting together the highchair they bought for Isaac and, when the time comes, their own children.

Kendall's halfway done with the highchair when the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!"

"Thank you baby!" Carlos calls back and Kendall shakes his head, leaving the half-assembled chair sitting on the floor. He half-jogs through the living room and goes to the door, adjusting his clothes (a black and white plaid button-up and a pair of black jeans) before answering the door, smiling brightly when he sees his mother standing on the porch.

Jennifer smiles back and comes forward, hugging Kendall tightly. "It's so good to see you," she mutters and Kendall hugs back, holding on extra long before pulling away, his smile spreading. "You look good."

"You look amazing," he replies and kisses his mom's cheek before shutting the door. "Follow me into the living room and I'll get you something to drink." Kendall holds a hooked arm out to his mother and smiles when her arm slides over his before they make their way into the living room. He drops his arm, motions to the couch, and watches Jennifer sit down. "Would you like wine, beer, a cocktail, or juice?"

"Who's the juice for?"

Biting his lip, Kendall spreads his hands and shrugs. "Anyone who likes juice? And, you know, Isaac."

"I'll take wine," Jennifer answers, shaking her head and smiling softly.

"Red or white?"

Another laugh rises from Jennifer's throat and she looks up at her son. "Listen to you, being all grown up," she mutters and sighs happily. "White, please."

Kendall snaps his fingers lightly and nods. "White it is! I'll be right back," he says and smiles again before heading into the kitchen where Carlos is standing, stirring something on the stove. "Did you put the white wine in the fridge or is it still out?"

"I put everything in the fridge, minus the liquor," Carlos answers, tipping his head toward the fridge. "That's in the freezer."

"You're amazing, you know that?" Kendall asks as he heads to the cabinet to grab a wineglass. "You cook, you put things away, and you're gorgeous," he mumbles, leaning in to peck Carlos' cheek on his way to the fridge.

Carlos blushes and scrunches his face, shutting the burner off. "You're pretty amazing yourself," he says and sighs, going to lean against the counter beside the fridge, watching as Kendall pulls a bottle of wine off the shelf. "Do you want me to open that for you?"

"Why, don't trust me to open a bottle of wine?"

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself," Carlos answers and then smirks, "or drop the bottle on the floor and break it."

Heat creeps along Kendall's face when he hears that and he bites his lip. He had only dropped  _one_  bottle of wine since they had been living in their new house and that had only been because his hands were slippery so Carlos couldn't blame him. Not entirely, anyway. "I'll be fine," he mutters as he opens a drawer to grab a corkscrew before shutting it with his hip and grabbing the bottle of wine.

Before Kendall can open the bottle, the doorbell goes off and he blinks. "Your turn," he says, turning to smile at Carlos, who stalks out of the kitchen, playfully grumbling under his breath. Shaking his head, Kendall laughs and opens the bottle of wine, tossing the corkscrew (with the cork still attached) onto the counter before grabbing the wineglass. He fills his halfway and takes it into the living room, carrying the bottle along with him.

Logan and Camille are standing in the living room when Kendall gets there and he smiles at them. "Now we're just waiting for Litos' parents," he says and moves forward, setting the bottle of wine on the coffee table, handing the glass to his mother. "And I didn't drop the bottle this time."

"What's that mean?" Jennifer asks and Carlos snorts, shutting the door before coming forward, carrying Isaac's car seat.

"Kendall wanted to open a bottle of wine the other night, to celebrate the new house, and he dropped it on the kitchen floor," he answers and Jennifer nods slowly, looking at her son with a soft smile before taking a sip of her wine.

Someone laughs and Kendall pouts, turning to see that Camille has a hand over her mouth. "It's not funny," he mumbles, pouting playfully.

"Aw, sweetie," Camille says, laughing quietly as she comes forward to hug Kendall. "It's _very_  funny."

They all laugh and, after a moment, Kendall joins in as he hugs Camille before pulling away. While Logan and Carlos go to the kitchen, Kendall stoops down to take Isaac out of his car seat, making funny faces at him. He lifts the baby out and takes him over to his brand new recliner and sits down, bouncing Isaac on his knee lightly, listening to him giggle.

"You are the cutest baby ever," he says, using his baby voice, as he holds onto Isaac. "Yes, yes you are. The cutest baby in  _all_  the land."

From the couch, Camille and Jennifer laugh and watch him before diving into their own conversation until Logan comes back in, taking a seat on the arm of the couch next to his wife, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. When Isaac starts to fuss, Kendall stands up and goes over to the diaper bag sitting beside his car seat, reaching down to grab it. He sets it on the coffee table and pulls out a pacifier, holding it out to Isaac when he reaches for it and puts it in his mouth, laughing when the fussing stops.

"You're such a good uncle," Camille says and Logan agrees with a quiet 'yeah.'

Kendall shrugs and settles Isaac against his chest. "That's because we have a bond, Isaac and me," he says and grins. "Not James Bond, either."

His corny joke makes them laugh and Kendall blushes, biting his lip as he moves around the living room, bouncing Isaac slightly. He rubs the baby's back as they go around and he points out things to him, showing Isaac pictures of everyone before the doorbell rings. Blinking, Kendall moves toward the door and holds Isaac with one arm as he opens it, smiling at Carlos' family.

"Hey," he says happily as he takes a step back, "come on in."

Sylvia comes in and holds her hands out for Isaac. "Come here, baby," he coos and Kendall hands him over. "How are you doing, Kendall?"

"I'm doing just fine, Mrs. Garcia," he answers and laughs when she playfully glares at him. "I mean,  _mom_."

"That's right." Sylvia smiles and takes Isaac into the living room, where everyone says hello at once. Behind her, Alex trails in and gives Kendall a hug before running off to join the rest of their family, leaving him to shake his head. When Miguel comes in next, Kendall shuts the door behind him and gives his father in law a smile.

Miguel returns it and gives Kendall a hug. "The place looks nice," he says when they ease apart and Kendall nods in agreement.

"Thanks. Carlos did most of the organizing and I did the painting."

"Well, it looks good. How have you two been?" Miguel asks as he shrugs out of his coat and Kendall rolls a shoulder, hanging his jacket up. "Everything's fine, right? You know you can tell me if he's giving you a hard time," he says and smirks.

Kendall shakes his head and laughs. "No, everything's fine. We're doing well and I swear he's not giving me a hard time at all."

There's a moment of silence as Miguel looks at Kendall and then he nods, smiling. "Good," he says and claps a hand on Kendall's shoulder before turning to join everyone else in the living room. Kendall follows him a second later and sits on the arm of his chair where Alex is, poking her in the arm lightly. She pokes his side and he laughs, throwing an arm around her shoulders as they listen to everyone talk.

"Hey Kendall?" Carlos calls out on his way to the living room, wiping his hands on a towel. "Can you help me take everything to the table?"

Looking up, Kendall smiles and stands, nodding. "Of course," he answers and winks, excusing himself as he follows Carlos back to the kitchen.

"Is everyone here?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers as he comes up behind Carlos, wrapping both arms around him. He leans down and kisses his cheek before moving away to grab a casserole dish off the stove. "When do you think we should spring the big news on them?"

Carlos hums and grabs another dish, leading Kendall into the dining room. "Not for a while," he says, setting his dish on the table before glancing at the half-a-highchair in the corner. "Are you going to finish that?"

Fuck, Kendall forgot about that. He bites his lip and grins sheepishly, nodding as he sets his own dish down. "Yeah, I'm gonna finish it right now. Go ask Logan to help you get the rest of the food," he mumbles before going back over to the highchair, sighing. Kendall pushes his sleeves up and kneels down, going to work on assembling the chair the rest of the way, listening to his family talk in the living room.

"You bought Isaac a highchair?" Logan asks when he comes in with Carlos, the two of them carrying bowls of food, and Kendall looks up when they come in, smiling at his best friend as he nods. "Wow, that's awesome."

"Well I figured we're going to have you guys over for dinner a lot and Isaac needs somewhere to sit, right?"

Nodding, Logan set the bowls he'd been holding down, and went to squeeze Kendall's shoulder. "Thank you," he mutters before heading back into the kitchen with Carlos on his tail, his eyes locked on his husband until he disappeared through the door, a smile on his face.

It takes Kendall ten minutes to get the highchair put together and he sets it between two chairs at the end, sighing softly. He never wants to put another one of those together and he makes a mental note to make Carlos put the next one together if they have two babies close together. The thought of children makes Kendall smile and he goes back to the kitchen, nearly running into everyone as they make their way to the dining room.

"Where are you going?" Logan asks as he hitches Isaac higher on his chest, holding the baby so his back was against him.

"I was coming to see if Carlos needed anymore help but I guess you two got everything done."

Logan laughs and nods. "You were so focused on the highchair that you didn't notice we kept coming in and out," he mutters.

"I could use some help," Carlos interjects as he comes forward, wrapping a hand around Kendall's bicep. "If you want to be a sweetheart."

The rest of the family heads to the dining room while Kendall and Carlos move further into the kitchen. "What do you need help with?" Kendall asks.

"Drinks." Pointing to the fridge, Carlos smiles and heads to the cabinet to grab glasses for everyone. He sets them on the counter, shuts the door, and turns to look at Kendall, who's standing in front of the open fridge door, frowning. "What's the matter?"

"What do they want?"

Carlos snorts and shakes his head. "My mom, your mom, and Camille want wine. Red and white," he says and holds his finger up when he sees that Kendall is about to say something, probably about the fact that they're letting Camille drink. "My dad said that as long as Camille doesn't get drunk, we can give her wine."

"Right." Kendall snaps his fingers and points at Carlos before grabbing the bottle of red wine and, after setting it on the counter, the second bottle of white. "I don't know what everyone else wants," he says, wrapping his hands around the door handle as he looks to Carlos.

"Dad wants whiskey, Logan wants soda, Alex wants juice, Isaac has milk in his bottle, and then whatever you and I want."

Huffing, Kendall opens the freezer and grabs a bottle of Jack Daniels, setting it down with the bottles of wine. He shuts the freezer door and opens the fridge again, grabbing a can of soda and the bottle of juice before, finally, shutting the door with his hip. While Carlos grabs all of the glasses, Kendall piles all of the bottles in his arms and follows his husband into the dining room.

"Everything smells good, Litos." Sylvia smiles at her son and Carlos smiles back, muttering a quiet - and slightly embarrassed - thanks.

Carlos started setting glasses down in front of everyone and Kendall went to put the bottles down on a table in the corner. "Right," he mutters as he grabs the can of soda and moves over to hand it to Logan, smiling at him. "There's one down." Laughing, Kendall grabbed the wine bottles and goes to his mom's seat, pouring white wine into her glass before moving to Camille.

"Red," she says and smiles up at Kendall while he pours some into the glass.

"And... which one for you, mom?" Kendall asks when he gets to Sylvia, smiling brightly at her.

Pursing her lips, Sylvia thinks for a moment and smiles. "White."

After pouring a glass of wine for his mother in law, Kendall takes the bottles back to the table and sets them down. He grabs the bottle of whiskey and takes it over to where Miguel is sitting, twisting the cap off before pouring some into his glass. "It's already cold enough but... do you want ice?"

"It's fine like this," Miguel answers, smiling. "Thank you."

Kendall nods and moves to the head of the table, pouring himself a glass of whiskey before capping the bottle. He sets it back on the table, grabs the bottle of juice, and goes to pour some for Alex, smiling at her before going back to set the bottle down again. After making sure everyone had something, Kendall finally sits down in his chair and lifts his glass, taking a long sip of whiskey.

Before sitting down, Carlos pours himself a glass of wine and sets the bottle down again. Finally, he sits on the opposite end of the table from where Kendall is and smiles at him before telling everyone to help themselves. Their family listens and soon the sound of spoons clanking against bowls and glass dishes fills the air, along with Isaac's happy coos.

When everyone has food on their plates, they start eating and conversation buzzes all around them.

"So," Sylvia asks after taking a sip of wine, "are you two going to have another baby or is Isaac it?"

Logan and Camille look at each other, both of them shrugging before they turn back; Camille answers for them.

"I don't know right now. We might wait until Isaac is a little older and in school," she says.

When the topic of babies comes up, Kendall looks at Carlos and bites his lip. Carlos looks back with an eyebrow raised and nods his head slightly, smirking.

"Carlos and I actually have something to tell you guys," Kendall says, licking his lips before downing the rest of his drink. He looks up, noticing that everyone's eyes are on him, and he feels nervous. Sure, he can play in front of thousands of people but telling his family that he and Carlos are ready for a family? That makes him nervous because he knows that they just got married and that it may be too soon.

"Well?" Jennifer asks, smiling like she knows what Kendall is going to say.

Clearing his throat, Kendall runs a hand through his hair and chuckles. "Carlos and I are thinking about having a baby," he says. "Soon, actually."

Everyone looks at him, all of them wearing surprised expressions save for Sylvia, who is smiling at him.

"We wanted to wait until we got a house and... I'm ready to be a dad," Carlos adds, biting his lip when everyone looks at him.

"A baby." Jennifer shakes her head and then smiles brightly. "I think you two are ready for one."

Miguel clears his throat and sits up, settling his forearms onto the table in front of his plate. "I think you should wait," he says, voice gruff.

"Another baby would be nice," Logan murmurs as he turns to Isaac, smiling. "Isaac would have someone to play with."

"Not if they decide to go the surrogate route. Then it'd be another nine months - or more - before they had a baby," Camille points out.

Kendall sighs and rubs his face, scratching his jaw before dropping his hand. "We're going to look into surrogacy because I want a baby of my own," he says, glancing down the table at Carlos with a smile, "and I want Carlos to have one of his own."

"Do you know how much a baby costs, Kendall?" Miguel asks and Kendall snaps his gaze to his father in law. "Or how much it costs to do something like that? I know you have money but you're not going to make sells off the album for much longer."

"You're right about that but I'm planning on talking to the guys about making another album. If they agree, and so does our producer, we'll have one in no time. I can write songs quickly and the boys, they know how to work on the music just as fast. So, don't worry about the money," he says.

Shaking his head, Miguel scratches his chin and looks to Carlos. "Do you seriously want a baby, Litos?"

"Yeah, I do. Ever since Camille was pregnant with Isaac, I've been thinking about what it would be like to have a baby," he answers and then sighs, leaning back in his chair as he looks at Kendall, locking eyes with him. "Then Isaac was born and I saw how happy it made Logan. How easily he fell into the role of being a father and, well, I want that. I want to experience that with Kendall and I know he wants this, too."

"We're going to be fine, dad," Kendall adds with a quiet sigh. "I know that it'll be tough at first but... we can do this. So long as we have you guys."

Miguel shakes his head and looks at Kendall again. "If that's what you want, then... there's nothing I can do to change your minds. I just want you two to settle into your new lives together and then have a baby. Wait about a year or two," he mutters.

"Miguel," Sylvia says, touching her husband's hand lightly. "They'll be fine."

"Well, I'm excited about being an aunt." Alex smiles brightly at her brother and then turns to look at Kendall. "Who's having a baby first?"

Kendall purses his lips and cocks his head to the side, shrugging. "I'm thinking Carlos," he answers and smirks when Carlos blinks at him.

"Why me?"

"Because your baby is going to be the cutest ever," Kendall says and winks at his husband.

Everyone laughs and they quickly settle into another conversation, the baby one seemingly forgotten for the moment. When everyone is done eating, Carlos and Kendall clear the plates before bringing in dessert: Carlos' homemade chocolate cake. It gets cut into pieces and served, everyone's glasses being refilled until there's no wine left in the bottles and Kendall, Logan, and Carlos have put a dent in the bottle of whiskey.

After dessert, everyone goes into the living room and they all hang out. Kendall sits on the floor with Isaac on his lap, listening to Miguel and Sylvia tell stories about Carlos and Alex when they were younger. They all sit around for an hour, letting the alcohol get out of their systems, before they start to leave, one by one. Kendall helps put Isaac in his seat, kissing the top of the baby's head before tossing a blanket over the handle, to tent over the seat and keep the wind off Isaac's face.

"We'll see you guys later," he says and hugs Logan, then Camille, before leading them to the door. He opens it for them, watches them step out onto the porch, and waves as he leans against the door slightly, smiling. Once his friends are gone, Kendall shuts the door and runs a hand down his face, yawning, suddenly tired after the dinner. He also feels relieved after telling their family about the plans to have a baby and he wonders, in the back of his mind, if they're all happy for the couple or not.

Miguel, Sylvia, and Alex are the next to leave; they all hug Kendall and Carlos tightly, making them promise to come for dinner at their house on Sunday. They agree, of course, and see the three of them to the door before watching them climb into the car, both of them waving until they're out of sight. The only person left in the house, other than Kendall and Carlos, is Jennifer and she shrugs into her coat, smiling at her son.

"I'll see you in a few days," she says and wraps her arms around Kendall, kissing his cheek. "You might want to call your father sometime soon. He's been annoying the hell out of me all week and he really wants to see you."

Kendall snorts and shrugs. "I don't care," he says. "I don't want to see him.

"Well, think about it." Jennifer pats his cheek, smiles, and turns to hug Carlos. "I love both of you," she whispers when she pulls away and they say it back on their way to the door. Kendall opens it and gives his mother one last hug before watching her step out into the night, waving as she climbs into her car. He shuts the door once she's gone and locks it, resting his forehead against the hard wood.

Carlos comes up behind him and wraps both arms around Kendall's waist. "Ready for bed?"

"Mm," Kendall hums as he pulls away from the door, nodding slowly. "I'm definitely ready to go to sleep."

Smiling, Carlos drops his arms and takes Kendall's hand, lacing their fingers together. He leads his husband around the house, turning all the lights off before heading upstairs to their bedroom. The house is quiet, for the first time that night, and Kendall is starting to feel the effects of the dinner. He's exhausted - both psychically and mentally - and he just wants to sleep it all off. Wants to forget that his father in law disapproves of them having a baby so soon.

When they get to their room, Kendall drops Carlos' hand and starts to unbutton his shirt, peeling it back before pulling it off. He drops the fabric onto the ground and starts to undo his jeans, yawning quietly as he pulls the zipper down, breathing in deeply. Once they're undone, Kendall pushes his jeans down and kicks them away, running a hand through his hair as he pulls the blankets back before sliding underneath them, sighing contently when he lays back against the mattress.

"Do you think we're going too fast with all of this?" Carlos asks as he pulls his shirt off and tosses it away, looking at Kendall as he stands next to the bed.

"Mm... no, I don't. I think we're going by our own pace and it's perfectly fine." Smiling, Kendall opens his arms and breathes softly when he feels Carlos sit on the bed. When his husband is close enough, Kendall wraps both arms around him and pulls him close, nuzzling his face against Carlos' neck. "But we can go a little slower, if you want."

Carlos shakes his head and curls up against Kendall. "I don't want to," he whispers.

"I don't either."

They drop the subject and Carlos snuggles closer to Kendall, yawning quietly. Kendall kisses the top of his head, whispers goodnight, and settles against his pillow, sighing contently. It takes him a while to fall asleep, despite being exhausted, and he listens to Carlos' breathing, running a hand along his warm skin as he sleeps, chest rising and falling against Kendall's.

Kendall eventually dozes off and presses his face against Carlos' hair, breathing heavily against it.

He dreams about having a full house; kids running around, dogs chasing them, and him and Carlos being happy.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: morning sex!, some dirty talk, sex without a condom, hair pulling, rimming, fingering, biting, nipple play, a little bit of blood (nothing bad; promise!), marathon sexing!... sort of, post coital cuddles/naps.]

The sun is just beginning to break through the curtains when Carlos wakes up with Kendall's body wrapped around his, almost protectively. He smiles, slides his hand along his husband's forearm, and revels in the warm body pressing against his own. It's too early in the morning for him to be up but Carlos doesn't want to go back to sleep; he wants to wake Kendall up and wants to waste the morning with him in bed, having as much sex as possible. The thought makes him shudder and he presses himself back against Kendall, rubbing his ass against his husband's cock, smirking when he groans sleepily.

"Wake up," Carlos whispers as he continues to grind against Kendall, biting down on his lip to keep from moaning. He lets go of his lip and a small squeak escapes when Kendall's hands find his hips and he pulls him back, the hard length of his cock pressing against Carlos' ass.

Humming, Kendall presses his face against Carlos' neck and yawns before mumbling sleepily, "Why are you awake?"

"I don't know, I just am and I don't want to go back to sleep."

"So you want to," Kendall pauses to yawn again, "fuck instead? I don't think I'm awake enough for that.."

Carlos laughs and turns over in Kendall's arms, pressing his body flush against the other man's. Without saying a word, he leans in and kisses Kendall softly, moving a hand to the back of his head, fingers carding through the soft locks as he drags the tip of his tongue along his husband's lower lip. A shudder passes through Carlos' body when he hears - and feels - Kendall moan into the kiss, pressing his hand flat against the back of his head, moving his hips slowly so that their cocks slide together.

After a moment of slow kissing, Kendall pulls back and wets his lips, dragging his tongue along them slowly. "Now I'm up," he mutters and chuckles softly.

"Good." Grinning sleepily, Carlos leans up and drags his tongue over Kendall's lips, the ball of his tongue ring sliding over the skin quickly. "So does that mean you want to fuck me, then?"

"Jesus fucking  _Christ_." The words come out of Kendall's mouth as a breathless whisper and he shakes his head before kissing Carlos hungrily, slipping a hand down to his ass to pull him onto his body as he rolls over onto his back. With Carlos lying on top of him, Kendall flicks his tongue against his husband's lips and licks into his mouth once he's parted them, both hands traveling down the length of Carlos' spine.

Sighing into the kiss, Carlos situates himself and bends a knee on either side of Kendall's body, his thighs touching the other man's hips. He opens his mouth a little wider and moans when he feels Kendall's tongue pressing against his own, wrapping it around the other's before deepening the kiss, pressing his hands against the middle of his husband's chest. His cock is hard and he wants Kendall to fuck him, wants to have slow, lazy, Saturday morning sex in their own house for the first time.

Both of Kendall's hands are pressed against Carlos' shoulders and he's leaning up slightly, craning his neck to kiss the other man hungrily, growling deep in his throat whenever he feels Carlos' ass brush over his cock. It sends electric shocks down his spine and he bucks his hips forward, dragging one hand down to cup his husband's ass while resting the other on his side, in the middle of his tattoo, his thumb brushing along the sleek, black lines. He gasps when he feels Carlos' tongue pressing against his roughly, the top of his tongue ring hitting his teeth when he pulls back and the sound just makes Kendall harder, the feeling of the jewelry moving across his lips causing him to shiver, his fingertips digging into Carlos' ass.

"Carlos," Kendall whimpers when he pulls away, letting his head fall back on the pillow. "You wanna get yourself ready and ride me, baby?"

With a slight nod, Carlos bites his lip and then wets it, the silver ring clacking against his teeth. "Yeah," he answers, breathless, and then smiles as he leans over to open the nightstand, rummaging through the drawer before grabbing a bottle of lube. Once he has it in his hand, Carlos shuts the drawer and straightens up, popping the bottle with his thumb before pouring some of the lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together.

After tossing the bottle of lube onto the mattress, Carlos sits up on his knees and moves his hand behind him, using the other to spread his ass apart as he pushes two fingers against his entrance. He sinks them in, slowly, and moans Kendall's name as he throws his head back, his neck a long, tan line of skin that he wants Kendall to kiss, to bite, and to suck on.

"You look so gorgeous like this." As he speaks, Kendall runs his hands along Carlos' thighs and watches him through half lidded eyes, licking his lips quickly. "I love watching you finger yourself for me, baby," he mutters, dragging his thumb along the crease between Carlos' thigh and pelvis, smirking when he shudders.

Carlos pushes his fingers in all the way and drops his chin toward his chest, opening his eyes to watch Kendall. He smiles softly and keeps his hand still, lifting himself up before sinking back down onto the digits, separating as them as he does. A loud groan leaves his throat and he continues to rock back on his fingers, biting down on his lower lip, feeling a heat spread across his cheeks, neck, and his chest.

Swallowing hard, Kendall leans up and kisses Carlos' chest lightly, dragging his kisses down before tugging on one of the rings hanging from his nipples. He takes it between his teeth and pulls it gently, just enough to make Carlos whimper his name, before going to do the same thing to the other one. His eyes snap shut when he listens to Carlos draw in a sharp breath, knowing that he was starting to use three fingers and, god, Kendall wishes he had been the one to work him open instead.

"Kendall, holy  _fuck_ ," Carlos moans as he pushes three fingers inside himself, working his hips back against them. The feeling of having the digits inside of him and Kendall tugging on his nipple rings is maddening and Carlos doesn't want him to stop. He wants to get off on this, just having his fingers buried deep in his ass and his husband biting his nipples while he works his cock with one hand. The thought makes Carlos shudder and he gasps, hunching over to press his head against the top of Kendall's.

Kendall moves a hand to the small of Carlos' back and rubs it lightly. "Ready for me?"

"Yes.  _God,_  yes."

A quiet laugh escapes Kendall's throat and he wraps his arms around Carlos' waist, carefully scooting up toward the headboard before leaning back against it, moving his hands to Carlos' hips, thumbing across the bone. He watches as his husband situates himself so that his ass is right over Kendall's cock and he swallows thickly, listening to the top on the lube pop open before feeling the warm liquid slide over the head of his cock, causing him to shudder softly. Letting his eyes slide shut, Kendall moans when Carlos wraps a hand around the head, stroking the lube down his shaft and back up before holding the base.

Carlos spreads his legs a little wider and drops himself down, positioning Kendall's cock so the head presses against his entrance. He lets his head fall back and moans loudly, feeling his husband's length slide into him slowly, his free hand settling on Kendall's thigh to keep himself steady. Once the entire length is buried inside of him, Carlos moves his hand away and grips Kendall's other leg, leaning back a little as he starts to move his hips slightly, whimpering.

After moving his hips a little, Carlos leans forward and grabs the top of the headboard, his arms bracketing Kendall's head. "Fuck," he breathes and lifts his hips a little before dropping back down, the sound of his skin slapping against Kendall's causing him to shudder, swallowing thickly. "You feel so good in me, baby, holy fuck. Could ride you all day and never get tired of having your cock in my ass."

"Oh _god_ ," Kendall mumbles as he opens his eyes to look up at Carlos, licking his lips quickly. "Do you have any idea how gorgeous you look when you ride me, Litos? God, I can't explain it but it's one of  _the sexiest_  things I've ever seen. Watching you move your hips against me, listening to the sound of your ass slapping down against my thighs... fuck, so hot."

Leaning down, Carlos rests his forehead against Kendall's. "You like when I do this?" As he speaks, Carlos lifts his hips as much as he can and then drops them down roughly, the sharp crack of his ass slapping against Kendall's filling the air just seconds before his loud moan does. He swallows thickly and moves his hands to Kendall's shoulders, gripping them tightly before rotating his hips, bouncing slightly. "Talk to me," he begs, his voice breathless as he moves slowly, wanting to drag everything out and make it last longer.

Kendall's hands wrap around Carlos' hips tightly and he breathes hard, swallowing. "What do you want me to say, baby?"

"Anything," Carlos gasps as he rolls his hips backwards, moving his hand to Kendall's hair, tugging on it tightly.

Chuckling breathlessly, Kendall nods and drags his hand up Carlos' side. "Remember when we talked about fucking in every room? We haven't done that yet and I'm thinking about doing it today," he says and pauses to groan when Carlos' muscles clench around his cock, causing him to snap his eyes shut. "After we get done fucking up here and we rest, I'll take you downstairs and fuck you in the living room, then the kitchen, and the dining room." After Kendall says each room, he thrusts his hips up against Carlos' ass and bites down on his lower lip, rolling it between his teeth.

"Yeah, yeah... I wa-want to do that..." Carlos' voice is breathless and he's trembling against Kendall as he moves his hips, going a little faster.

"Spread you out on the living room floor," Kendall whispers, moving his hips in time with Carlos', "and just fuck you as hard as I can. Make you scream my name so loud that the neighbors will hear us. God, Carlos, do you want that, baby? Wanna scream my name and let everyone know what we're doing?"

Carlos' body shudders and he nods, whimpering helplessly. "Yeah," he answers, whimpering as he starts to bounce a little faster. "Wanna come."

"Thinking about your legs wrapped around my waist or hitched over my shoulders," Kendall continues as he moves a hand to Carlos' cock, wrapping his fingers around it before stroking up quickly, thumbing across the head. "And I'll just slam my cock into you over and over while I lean down to bite your neck, shoulders, and chest."

"Kendall," Carlos whimpers, pushing his hips back and the forth, fucking into his husband's hand.

Smiling, Kendall kisses Carlos' shoulder and bites down on it, listening to him nearly scream. "Come on baby," he whispers when he eases away, slamming his hips up against the smaller man's ass while he strokes his cock a little harder, squeezing the base lightly.

The fingers in Kendall's hair tighten and Carlos bounces as hard as he can, his ass slapping against Kendall's thighs roughly. He arches his back slightly, and rolls his hips, moving a hand down to grip his husband's shoulder tightly, whimpering something about getting close to coming but, really, it just comes out garbled.

As Carlos continues to ride him, Kendall bites his lip and continues to stroke his cock, twisting his wrist as he drags his hand down before sliding it back up. He can feel his husband's muscles clenching around him and he gasps loudly, his shoulder banging against the headboard, which sends it knocking into the wall behind them. They continue to move together and Kendall strokes Carlos' cock as fast as he can, focusing on the way he breathes and the way his muscles tighten, making his cock drag out of him slowly.

"I'm... _fuck,_  I'm coming. _Fuckfuckfuck_  Kendall, ohgodIloveyou," Carlos moans as he comes, his hips stuttering forward a few times as he shoots thick, white ropes of come all over Kendall's stomach and chest. Gasping, he stills his hips and hunches forward, resting his forearms on Kendall's shoulders, laying his cheek against one of them as he pants heavily, twitching when his husband starts moving, groaning through barred teeth.

It only takes Kendall a few more thrusts and he's coming, too, pressing his hips against Carlos' ass tightly. He gasps his husband's name and moves a hand to the back of his head, fingertips gripping his hair gently before stroking down the back of his skull and dropping onto the nape of his neck. Kendall's hips stutter once, twice, three times and finally still after a moment, his breath coming in harsh pants.

"That was,  _ah_ , supposed to be slow..." Carlos mumbles and laughs weakly, leaning in to press a kiss to the hinge of Kendall's jaw.

Kendall shakes his head and hums, feeling Carlo's lips against his skin. "Whoops," he mutters and laughs when his husband bites his skin.

Sighing heavily, Carlos lifts himself off of Kendall's lap and hisses quietly, throwing a leg over his husband's before laying on the mattress next to him. He huffs and covers his eyes with an arm, swallowing thickly as he listens to the noises outside and the occasional deep pull of breathing from Kendall. After a moment of resting, Carlos sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed before standing up, wobbling a little before finding his footing. He walks to the bathroom, flips the light on, and shuts the door behind him; a second later, Kendall hears the sink run and he smiles softly, looking down at his stomach.

"I need a shower," he calls out and Carlos makes a noise in response that Kendall can't decipher, so he just figures it's a noise of agreement. Pushing the blankets all the way off, Kendall throws his legs over the bed and presses his feet against the floor, groaning as his back pops. He yawns loudly and stands, running a hand through his hair as he walks around the end of the bed, heading toward the bathroom door before knocking lightly on it.

A few seconds of silence pass before Carlos answers with, "What?"

"Shower," Kendall replies, leaning against the door frame. "We can take a shower - or maybe a bath - together. I promise it will be innocent."

"A bath sounds good," comes Carlos' muffled reply from beyond the door and he opens it slowly, smiling as he takes a step back. "Come in."

Rolling his eyes and snorting, Kendall steps into the bathroom. He shuts the door behind him and walks past Carlos, running a hand along his hip before dropping it, groaning as he bends over the tub to turn the knobs on. After twisting both knobs enough, Kendall puts the stopper down and feels the temperature of the water, twisting the hot water knob a little more until it's perfect.

When he stands up, Kendall turns to smile at Carlos and then comes over to kiss him softly. "You okay?"

"Huh?" Carlos blinks and then snorts, nodding his head as he smiles back. "Yeah, no, I'm fine. I was just... getting cleaned up."

"Oh," Kendall says and then laughs, shaking his head as he leans down to kiss Carlos' lips again. When he eases away, he turns to the tub and steps into the water, sinking down a second later, sighing when the warm water hits his skin. He sinks down all the way and spreads his legs so Carlos can sit between them, resting his arms on the sides of the tub.

While he waits for Carlos to join him, Kendall grabs a bottle of body wash and pops the top, squirting some onto his palm before setting it on the floor in front of the tub. He dips one hand into the water and rubs both of them together, lathering the soap up before washing the come off of his stomach, watching the bubbles float away toward the stream of water pouring out of the faucet. Once the mess is cleaned off, Kendall scoops water up into his hands and washes the suds away until there are no more.

Carlos comes over when he's done and steps in, sitting down carefully between Kendall's legs. Their tub is big enough for the two of them to sit together comfortably, plus a little more, and Carlos leans back against Kendall, humming when he feels his husband's arms wrap around him. He lifts his hands and hooks them around Kendall's forearms, tilting his head back to kiss his chin, smiling against it.

"This is nice," he murmurs when he pulls away and Kendall nods in agreement, humming as he smiles. Carlos licks his lips and pulls away to lean forward, turning the knobs off before falling back against his husband's chest, nuzzling against him a little. "I could fall asleep like this. With you, in the warm water.."

Kendall chuckles quietly and nods, settling his head back against the wall. "Don't fall asleep," he mutters, "cause you might drown."

"Not if you hold onto me, I won't!"

When Kendall doesn't say anything, Carlos pouts and whimpers quietly. "You won't let go of me, will you?"

"Hmm?"

"You aren't going to let me drown, right?"

Blinking, Kendall shakes his head and leans forward to kiss the back of Carlos' head, whispering, "Never."

Carlos shivers when Kendall says that and can't ignore the way his heart jumps at that one little word because it has such a huge meaning. He knows that Kendall doesn't just mean that he won't let that happen _right then and there_  but he means forever - for the rest of their lives - and he smiles softly, chewing on the middle of his lip. Letting out a content sigh, Carlos settles back against Kendall's chest and drags his fingers along the back of his husband's forearm slowly, moving his leg around in the water a little.

Time drags on and neither of them speak; Kendall thinks that Carlos has fallen asleep and he just keeps his head against the wall, his eyes closed, his hands resting on his husband's chest and stomach. The water is starting to grow cold and he thinks about turning the tap on again, to heat everything up, but doesn't want to jostle Carlos and wake him up. So, instead, Kendall just moves his hands down and rests them on Carlos' lower abdomen, smiling when he nuzzles his shoulder just a little.

"Hey Kendall?" Carlos asks, startling Kendall a little because he seriously though his husband was asleep.

Yawning quietly, Kendall lifts a hand and scratches at his jaw. "Yeah, baby?"

"You aren't ever going to let anything bad happen, right?" The words sound childish to Carlos but he means it; he needs to know that Kendall won't let anything happen to him because Carlos knows he's going to try his hardest to protect him.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," Kendall answers and leans down to kiss the side of his head. "I'm always going to be here to hold you and I'm never letting go, Litos, and I promise that I won't let anything happen to you or our family."

Carlos bites his lip and nods, another shiver going down his spine. "I won't let anything happen to you, either," he whispers softly before turning to catch Kendall's lips in a small kiss, smiling against his mouth before easing away. "The water's getting cold; we should probably get out."

A laugh rumbles in Kendall's chest and he nods, sitting up carefully. "Come on," he says, patting Carlos' knee lightly.

"I'm  _goin'_ ," Carlos mumbles as he stands up and shivers, stepping out of the tub before grabbing a towel. He runs the fabric along his body, drying off as quickly as he can, and hands the towel to Kendall once he's out. They switch places and Carlos bends over the tub to unstop the drain, groaning as he straightens up, his legs sore from sitting in the tub for so long.

When Kendall is dry, he tosses the towel into the hamper and wraps his arms around Carlos, slipping a hand onto the small of his back as he leans down to kiss him, licking across his upper lip before biting it lightly. He laughs when a soft whine pulls from Carlos' throat and he sighs dramatically, pressing their lips together to kiss his husband slowly, slipping the hand on his back down to rest on his ass. Another small laugh escapes when Carlos stands on his tiptoes and roughly presses his lips against Kendall's, almost making him stumble backwards but he keeps his ground.

Easing away, Kendall drags his tongue across his lips and then swallows. "Where do you want to go?"

"Living room," Carlos answers, almost immediately, and he blushes, chewing on his lower lip. "I've just.. thought about you bending me over the arm of the couch and fucking me since we bought it and - " a quiet huff " - I just really want it, okay? I want you to push me down onto it, spread my legs, and slam your cock into me until I'm screaming your name and begging you to stop."

Those words make Kendall groan and he snaps his eyes shut, clenching his jaw tightly. "Fuck," he breathes when he blinks and looks at Carlos who is... fucking smirking at him, batting his long eyelashes like he always does when he wants something. It makes Kendall cave and he nods, squeezing Carlos' ass roughly before dropping his hands. "Okay. Meet me downstairs." With that, Kendall leaves the bathroom and goes around to his side of the bed to grab his phone (in case anyone calls and it's important) and the lube off the mattress before heading downstairs.

Kendall checks his phone while he walks down the stairs and locks it once he steps off the last one. He goes over to the couch and sets his phone down on the coffee table, laying the bottle of lube next to it before heading into the kitchen to grab the bottle of orange juice, twisting the top off of it. As he walks back into the living room, Kendall takes a big swig from the bottle and swallows, capping it when he hears Carlos coming down the stairs, grinning.

"We probably should eat at some point, huh?" Carlos asks as he steps off the bottom stair, lifting a hand to scratch at his side, his fingers skidding down to trace the sharp cut of his hip and Kendall swallows, nodding slowly. "Think we should do that now or later?"

Holding the bottle out, Kendall grins and shrugs a shoulder when Carlos glares at him. "You're the one who wants to get fucked so badly," he says and shakes the bottle around, listening to the contents slosh against the sides before Carlos takes it. "We'll eat afterwards, okay? Then we'll go take a nap, come back down here, and I'll clear the dining room table so I can fuck you on it."

"Jesus," Carlos mumbles as he shakes his head and uncaps the juice, lifting it to his mouth to take a long swig. He puts the top back on and walks forward, setting it down on the coffee table before reaching up, placing a hand on either side of Kendall's face before leaning up to kiss him. The kiss is short and Carlos ends it by biting his husband's lower lip hard enough to make him wince.

"Get on the couch."

Without saying a word, Carlos goes over to the couch and kneels on the middle cushion, leaning over the back slightly, sticking his ass out for Kendall to see, smirking before pulling away. He turns and moves along the cushions until he's closer to the arm of the couch, where he splays his hands and spreads his legs as wide as he can, the right one teetering between staying on the couch and falling off. Once he's settled, Carlos arches his back and sticks his ass out as he looks at Kendall, biting his lip.

A shudder goes down Kendall's spine as he moves to kneel on the couch behind Carlos, running a hand down the arc of his spine. He moves both hands down and spreads his ass slowly before bending over to run his tongue against his husband's entrance, pushing the tip in slowly before running it around the rim, his fingers digging into Carlos' flesh. When he hears Carlos gasp, Kendall moves so that he's kneeling on the floor in front of the couch, maneuvering Carlos so that his ass it pointed at him and he's facing the back of the couch.

"Please," Carlos gasps and, before he can get another word out, Kendall leans in to press the flat of his tongue against Carlos' entrance. He holds his ass open and continues to lick nice and slow, dragging the tip around the outside skin before pushing it in, wiggling it slightly to make his husband gasp and moan his name.

Grinning, Kendall pushes two fingers in along with his tongue and licks between them when he separates them, running the tip around Carlos' rim before going back to licking between the digits as he moves them in and out. He closes his eyes and moans whenever Carlos pushes his ass back against his fingers and tongue, slipping the digits in just a little harder as he turns to bite at his husband's ass, smirking when he yelps. Kendall pulls his fingers out and immediately pushes his tongue inside, gripping both of Carlos' cheeks as he shakes his head from side to side, getting his tongue in just a little further.

And Carlos...

Carlos is a mess in front of him. He's moaning and pushing back, whimpering Kendall's name and mixing it in with the words "please" and "fuck" and "want it" until Kendall eventually pulls back, slipping his hand between his husband's cheeks to rub the pad of his thumb against Carlos' entrance. He pulls back completely after a moment and grabs the lube, popping the top before pouring some onto his hand, letting the bottle drop back onto the table (whether or not he closed the damn thing he doesn't know).

"Bend over the arm of the couch," Kendall instructs as he strokes his cock until he's fully hard, watching as Carlos obeys and returns to his original position, sticking his ass out for Kendall. His fingers dig into the arm and Kendall moans, stroking the lubed hand over his cock as he walks toward the couch, taking a spot behind Carlos. "Fuck," he breathes as he situates himself so that he's sitting on the couch with one leg bent and pressed against the couch while he has the other on the floor, his foot pressed against the carpet.

Breathing in deeply, Carlos looks over his shoulder and moans at the sight of Kendall kneeling behind him. He turns around and drops his chest toward the arm of the couch, pushing his hips back toward his husband eagerly, his body thrumming with excitement. When he feels the slick head of Kendall's cock press against him, Carlos bites his lip and pushes back, moaning when he feels the entire length slide into him. "Jesusfuck, oh god..."

"You okay?" Kendall asks as he leans over, pressing a kiss to Carlos' shoulder.

"Y-yeah, m'fine." Chuckling quietly, Carlos starts to rotate his hips and pulls back only to push against Kendall again, moaning. "Fuck me."

Kendall nods his head and bites down on Carlos' shoulder blade before pulling his cock out halfway. He slams back into the smaller man and grips his hips tightly, holding him still as he sinks his teeth into the flesh of his shoulder, sucking at the mark. Carlos moans Kendall's name loudly and slides his arms over the end of the couch, dropping his head between them as he tries to move, groaning when he can't. When Kendall thinks that the mark on the other man's shoulder is good enough, he starts to move again, thrusting slow and deep, pressing his hips against Carlos' ass tightly.

As he continues to thrust in and out slowly, Kendall moves his hand around and slides it up Carlos' stomach, stopping when he reaches his nipples. He takes one of the rings between his fingers and tugs it as he pulls out, rubbing his fingertip against the skin as he pushes back in, alternating between the two until he finds a combination that makes Carlos scream his name. Swallowing hard, Kendall leans over and bites across Carlos' shoulders, leaving little marks on the smooth, tan skin as he fucks him harder, feeling sweat trickle down the nape of his neck already.

Straightening up, Kendall moves his free hand to Carlos' ass and spreads it, looking down to watch his cock slide in and out. "Fuck, Carlos," he moans as he pulls at his nipple rings a few more times, switching between the two, before dropping his hand, splaying it against his other cheek. Holding Carlos open, Kendall slams into him harder than before, fingernails digging into his skin as he fucks him roughly, biting down on his lip hard enough to make it bleed. He lets it go when he tastes blood in his mouth and moans Carlos' name again.

Carlos pushes back against Kendall and lifts his head, resting it against his arm. "Touch m-m-me," he moans out, his voice cracking in a few places.

"Like this?" Kendall slides his hand around and wraps his fingers around the base of Carlos' cock, squeezing it lightly before stroking up, thumbing across the head. He groans when he feels Carlos' muscles clench around his cock and he strokes down his length, repeating the movement slowly until his husband is begging for him to go faster, for Kendall to make him come. "Ah-ah, not on the couch," he mutters as he drops his hand, wrapping it around Carlos' hip again.

Huffing, Carlos bites his lip and rolls it between his teeth, screaming Kendall's name when he slams in, angling his hips in a way that makes his vision go white-hot behind his eyelids. He whimpers and rotates his hips slowly, slamming back against his husband as he pants, gasping Kendall's name louder and louder with each thrust.

It doesn't take Kendall's body long to react to everything - the noises, the way Carlos is clenching and relaxing around him - and he shudders, his shoulders shaking as he leans over to press himself against Carlos' body, the two of them working together. Kendall thrusts in and out harder, quickly losing his pace before it becomes messy and blind, his hips snapping against Carlos' ass roughly.

"Gonna come soon," he groans, right behind Carlos' ear, and he nips at the cartilage before pressing his forehead between his husband's shoulders. He pants harshly and snaps his hips against Carlos' body, burying his cock deep inside of the smaller man. A heat coils in the pit of his stomach and his balls tighten, Carlos' name coming from in his lips a loud moan as he comes, his hips stuttering forward, pushing Carlos against the arm of the couch even more.

When Kendall comes, Carlos moans and lifts a shaky hand, carding his fingers through his husband's hair slowly, swallowing hard. His own cock is throbbing and he wants so badly to just come, to have Kendall  _make him come_ , and he lets out a quiet whine, giving Kendall's hair a sharp tug until he's grumbling and biting at his skin again, moving once more.

"What?"

"I need to come," Carlos moans and lets out a squeak when Kendall pulls out before pulling him back onto his lap. He can feel the other man's cock softening and Carlos leans back against him, immediately grabbing one of his hands before moving it to his lap. "Touch me, make me come."

Kendall licks his lips and nods, moving his hand slowly at first. His body is still trembling and he presses his face against Carlos' neck, kissing it lazily as he continues to stroke his cock, gaining a little more speed as he calms down from his orgasm. Huffing out a breath, Kendall kisses the juncture between Carlos' neck and shoulder, dragging his teeth along it as his hand moves up and down his cock, squeezing the middle before dropping back down to the base.

"Yeah, yeah... oh fuck, Kendall, please..."

"Come on baby," Kendall urges, biting at Carlos' shoulder lightly, smiling when he yelps. He moves his free hand to Carlos' balls and starts to roll them between his fingers, trying to do that and stroke at the same time but the hand on Carlos' cock slows down after a moment. Biting his lip, Kendall strokes Carlos' length quickly and plays with his balls when he can, lifting his hips occasionally to grind against Carlos' ass.

Carlos tips his head back and grabs Kendall's hair, letting out a series of loud noises as his back arches and his hips lift. He comes, hard, and pants Kendall's name as he continues to thrust his hips forward, shooting come all over his chest and stomach, getting a little on his husband's hand. When his orgasm subsides, Carlos slumps against Kendall and loosens his hold on the other man's hair, stroking the back of his head slowly.

"How was that?" Kendall asks, breathless, before kissing the hinge of Carlos' jaw.

Humming, Carlos drags his fingers down the back of Kendall's skull and drops his hand away. "Nice," he answers and then laughs, feeling Kendall's nose brush against his earlobe, making him scrunch his nose. "Can we eat now and then go take a nap? I'm going to need a few hours of sleep before I do  _that_  again."

"Once I can stand up without feeling like I'm going to fall, I will make you breakfast."

"Will you make me anything I want?" Carlos asks, yawning once the words are out.

Kendall smiles and nods his head, kissing Carlos' neck. "Anything you want as long as we have the ingredients," he mumbles.

"Pancakes," Carlos mumbles and makes a quiet noise, feeling Kendall's lips move along his neck, "and scrambled eggs... and bacon."

"That's a lot of food."

Snorting, Carlos turns his head and glares at Kendall. "What if I wasn't finished?"

"Were you finished?" Kendall asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I also want sausage and some of my mom's tortillas heated up so I can eat them together," he says and grins proudly before kissing Kendall. "Now I'm done."

Shaking his head, Kendall laughs and rests his chin on Carlos' shoulder, stroking his side languidly. "I'll get up and make you something in a minute."

"You don't have to make breakfast for me; I  _can_  help, you know."

"I know," Kendall murmurs, dragging his fingers over Carlos' tattoo, "but I want to make breakfast for you."

Carlos purses his lips and nods slowly before climbing off of Kendall's lap. "I'm going to clean up," he said, gesturing to his torso with a soft chuckle. "I'll be upstairs, just let me know when the food is ready, okay?"

"Or I could just bring the food upstairs," Kendall suggests and smirks when Carlos' eyes go wide. He stands up, kisses his husband, and hums as he pulls away before walking around the coffee table and the end of the couch. "Go clean up, lay down, and find something to watch on TV and I'll bring breakfast up once it's done, okay?"

Nodding and yawning quietly, Carlos gives Kendall a thumbs up as he heads toward the stairs, taking them slowly. Once he's out of sight, Kendall goes to the laundry room and grabs a pair of pajama pants out of the dryer, tugging them on before pulling a t-shirt out next, pulling it over his head. He scratches his head and goes into the kitchen, opening the fridge before grabbing the eggs, bacon, sausage, milk, and tortillas, setting them all on the counter.

As he cooks, Kendall hums to himself and comes up with a new song idea. He scribbles down some words on the notepad they use for grocery lists and stuffs the piece of paper into the pocket of his pants before plating everything, spreading everything out on the counter as he goes to look for the platter Carlos' mom gave them as a wedding present. When he finds it, Kendall piles everything onto it and carries everything upstairs carefully, humming the song quietly as he goes to the bedroom.

The door is open when Kendall gets there and he walks in, carrying the tray over to the bed where Carlos is sitting. "And I'm going to get the juice," he says, with a bright smile, before turning on his heel and heading back out into the hallway, the tune of the song he came up with stuck in his head the entire way down the stairs. He makes a mental note to call Dustin later in the day and play it for him, to see if he likes it, and to see if maybe they would want to make another album.

Kendall pushes those thoughts away, though, and focuses on being with Carlos. On eating breakfast in bed with his husband and then taking a nap with him before fucking in every room they can before tiring themselves out. He grabs the bottle of juice off the coffee table and picks his phone up, stuffing it into his pocket before heading back upstairs, half running back to the room where Carlos is already eating.

"I see you waited for me," he mumbles and then grins, coming to sit on the bed, setting the bottle down where Carlos' plate had been.

Carlos swallows the bite in his mouth and smiles sheepishly. "I was hungry," he confesses and shrugs, taking another bite.

Shaking his head, Kendall grabs his own plate and starts eating, getting half of his food down before pouring juice into the two cups that he carried up on the tray, taking a long sip from his before downing the whole thing. He sets the glass back down and finishes the rest of his food, looking at Carlos from the corner of his eye, grinning at his husband as he sets his plate down.

It doesn't take long for Carlos to finish eating and Kendall puts the tray on the floor a few feet away from the bed before climbing back onto the mattress next to his husband, wrapping both arms around him. He tugs the blanket over both of them and rests his chin on Carlos' shoulder, yawning quietly. The noise from outside - the cars passes, people mowing their lawns, and kids playing - lulls them both to sleep and they stay that way for several hours.

When they finally wake up, Kendall and Carlos wait a full thirty minutes before going downstairs. Kendall clears the dining room table off and fucks Carlos on it, laying him across the middle with his legs hitched over his shoulders, and Carlos comes on the table which makes both of them laugh. After giving themselves more time to rest and eat something else, they go upstairs to christen the guest rooms; Kendall blows Carlos in one, letting him return the favor in another one, and they make out in the last one because, by then, they're both exhausted and completely fucked out.

Kendall makes dinner that night and they eat on the living room floor where Carlos has spread a bunch of blankets out. After they eat, Kendall calls Dustin and plays the song that he had come up with earlier and they talk about writing a new album. Dustin tells Kendall that he'll talk to the boys and that he'll get back to him before saying that he loves the song. They hang up and Carlos puts on a movie, turning the lights off before he and Kendall lay on the living room floor, curled up underneath the blankets.

That's where they fall asleep sometime in the middle of the night.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: smoking, talk of some weird/gross health stuff, happiness.]

**[February]**

Shortly after moving into their house, Kendall gets a job. He works as a private music tutor and that helps pay the bills but doesn't do very much so, in addition to that, he gets a job as a bartender as soon as he turns twenty one. The money he makes with both jobs - with tips and everything - is enough to help them put money away to start their new family. By the time February comes around, Kendall and Carlos have almost enough money, between the two of them, to start the surrogacy process and they discuss how they want to go about doing it.

**x x**

"Do you want to go with an agency or do you want to see if one of our friends will do it?" Carlos asks, looking away from the laptop screen where he'd been looking at different fertility doctors and surrogacy specialists. Kendall shrugs a shoulder and continues to eat his cereal, already in his work clothes for the night. "I think we should try to find someone on our own. Agencies charge a lot of money and I've already done a lot of the research by myself."

Kendall chews thoughtfully and bobs his head, swallowing. "I guess so. There's a girl at work I might be able to ask; she's got some of the genes I think we'd be looking for in a surrogate and she's already becoming one of my best friends there," he replies before taking another bite, wiping at the trail of milk that goes down his chin and grinning when Carlos rolls his eyes at him.

"I wish we could ask Camille."

"I don't want her to do this for us -  _even_  if she already said she would." Kendall makes a face and starts drinking the milk from the bowl, kicking his feet against the cabinets underneath him. When he brings the bowl away, he licks his lips and sets it down, wiping his face with one hand. "Besides, I don't want our kid and Isaac to _actually_  be blood related. His - or her - mommy would also be their _aunt_? Kind of weird."

Sighing, Carlos nods and rubs at his eyes, sliding his hands down to cup his chin. "We just need someone who will feel detached about it," he murmurs.

The whole family thing is stressful and Kendall knows it. He knows that it's only going to get worse when he leaves for California in March and he hopes they can find someone to do it before then so they can get the ball rolling on it. Licking his lips again, Kendall hops off the counter and goes over to where Carlos is sitting at the kitchen island, wrapping both arms around him as he leans down to kiss his neck softly. "I'll ask Victoria tonight about whether or not she thinks she might be able to do it and I'll let you know either way. If she doesn't want to do it then... we'll find someone else. Maybe your friend, what's her name?"

"Sasha?" Carlos asks, turning to look at Kendall as he lifts his hand, pinching his chin between his pointer finger and thumb.

"Yeah, her. She'd be a perfect fit, right?"

Carlos chews his lower lip and then runs his tongue along it, the silver ball of his tongue ring hitting his teeth. "I don't know, maybe," he murmurs and sighs before kissing Kendall softly, resting their heads together when he pulls away. "You should be leaving for work, right?"

Instead of answering, Kendall nips at Carlos' cheek and kisses at the place where he bit, dragging his lips down to his jaw. He kisses the bone softly and moves up to his ear, breathing against the shell before biting at the cartilage softly, smirking when Carlos whines his name. "I'm stopping," he murmurs and presses a kiss to his husband's temple before pulling away. "And, yeah, I should get going."

"Be careful and don't let too many women flirt with you tonight." Carlos smirks and turns around on the stool, opening his arms for Kendall, who steps forward and into them, pressing his face against the top of Carlos' head. "I mean, unless they're going to give you big tips."

Kendall laughs and shakes his head before nodding a second later, kissing Carlos' cheek lightly when he pulls back. "They're usually the ones that give me the biggest tips. Them and the women that tell me to take my shirt off and get on the bar at three AM," he teases and winks, pecking Carlos' lips before backing away.

"Whatever gets you the most money." Smirking more, Carlos licks his lips and drags his tongue over the lower one, watching as Kendall leaves the kitchen, hesitating a moment before following him. He watches his husband shrug into his jacket and leans against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, smiling softly when Kendall looks up at him.

"I love you," he says and smiles, tugging his beanie on over his head. "I'll see you sometime in the morning."

Carlos nods and waves a little, chuckling when Kendall drops his keys on the ground. "I love you too and don't wake me up when you come in," he says and laughs again at Kendall saluting him before leaving, shutting the door behind him. Once he's gone, Carlos goes back to the kitchen and grabs his laptop, taking it back upstairs so he can read more about the surrogacy process.

**x x**

When Kendall gets to work, he shrugs out of his coat and pulls his beanie off of his head, shoving them underneath the bar once they're both off. He watches as the waitresses and waiters walk around to get the tables ready and he rolls his shoulders back, looking out for Victoria. As soon as he spots her, Kendall runs over and puts a hand on her elbow, laughing and backing away when she goes to punch him.

"Oh," she says and laughs, "it's just you. What's up?"

Kendall rolls a shoulder and cocks his head toward the balcony. "You wanna go out for a smoke and talk for a minute?"

"It's freezing outside and, as you can see, I'm not wearing much of anything." Victoria motions to her low-cut tank top and her skirt and Kendall snorts, rolling his eyes. "But I guess I could go out for one before the shift starts, sure."

The two of them walk out onto the balcony and immediately shiver from the cold. Kendall takes a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and takes two out, handing one to Victoria before putting the other between his lips. He pulls his lighter out next and flicks it on, igniting the end of his own cigarette, smirking when she holds her hand out for the lighter.

Once her cigarette is lit, Victoria hands the lighter back and smiles, taking a long drag. "So," she says, exhaling smoke, "what do you want to talk about?"

"I actually wanted to ask you a question but, now that I think about it, it probably isn't a good idea. Seeing as you smoke," Kendall replies before taking a long drag from his own cigarette before pulling it away, curling his hand up at his side and tapping his thumb against the filter.

"What isn't a good idea?"

Sighing, Kendall lifts his free hand and scratches the top of his head. "You know about me and Carlos, right?" Victoria nods her head and the orange glow of the end of her cigarette lights up her face. "Well, we've been talking about having a family and we're looking into surrogacy. We want to go with someone we know because it's cheaper and a lot easier than going through an agency," he says and pauses to lift his own cigarette, dragging deeply; his cheeks hollowing out as he does.

"And you want to ask me?"

"Kind of, yeah. You've got a lot of the things we're looking for in a surrogate: brains, beauty, good teeth." Kendall laughs at that one and tips his head back, letting the rest of the smoke on his mouth billow toward the sky.

Victoria blinks at him and chews on her lip ring, tugging on it lightly. "Can I have some time to think?"

"Of course, yeah, take all the time you want. Don't feel pressured into saying yes or anything, you know; we won't be crushed if you do."

A laugh bubbles up from Victoria's throat and she nods before dropping her cigarette onto the ground. "I won't but thanks for letting me know."

Once her cigarette is ground out with the toe of her boot, Victoria smiles at Kendall and heads back inside, leaving him alone on the balcony. He watches her go and then continues to smoke, grinding the end of his cigarette out in the ashtray set out for the employees and the customers. In the back of his mind, Kendall knows that Victoria is the perfect surrogate for them: she's not too short - standing at five foot five - and she's got dark brown hair, brown eyes, light tan skin, and her body looks like it would take to pregnancy well.

Kendall shakes his head and goes back inside, running back to the bar before taking his spot a second before the doors are opened. People pour in and take seats in front of him, some of his regular customers coming to see him. They order drinks and he pours them, taking their compliments with a tight smile and he even flirts back when it's necessary and it means he gets bigger tips. One woman asks for his number and he shows her his wedding ring, smiling apologetically before taking the ten dollar bill she shoves in his face anyway.

At the end of his shift, Kendall is exhausted and he just wants to go home. He puts his jacket on and puts his tip jar inside of his beanie before heading outside, grumbling when he notices that it started snowing while he was working. The soft, white flakes fall around him as Kendall walks to his car and he slides in behind the wheel, setting the jar on the passenger side as he starts the engine, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

When the heat finally turns on, Kendall pulls out of his parking space and heads home, yawning loudly as he drives, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, moving them in time with the beat of a song that's playing low on the radio. By the time he gets home, Kendall is more exhausted than before and he grabs his tips before going inside, shaking his head to get the snow off of it, frowning when he notices the small puddle already forming underneath his shoes.

Yawning, Kendall shrugs out of his coat and hangs it up before pulling his shoes off, laying them on the mat. He grabs his tip jar and goes upstairs quietly, walking into the bedroom he shares with Carlos, smiling when he sees his sleeping form on the mattress. Before getting undressed, Kendall puts his jar on the dresser and tosses his beanie beside it, sighing as he pulls his shirt over his head.

Within minutes, Kendall is down to his boxers and he slides into bed behind Carlos, wrapping an arm around him. He kisses the back of his husband's neck and closes his eyes, breathing in slowly as he warms up underneath the blankets, silently praying that Victoria says yes. Kendall falls asleep thinking about that and stays pressed against Carlos until the morning, when he feels his husband get up for work.

**x x**

A week later, Kendall finds himself alone in the house on his day off. It's snowing outside and he's searching online for a Valentine's Day present for Carlos when the doorbell rings, pulling him out of his reverie. He glances at the time and pulls his brows together, setting the laptop on the mattress beside him before standing up, grabbing a t-shirt off the floor, tugging it on as he makes his way out into the hall. The doorbell rings again and Kendall mutters under his breath as he half-jogs down the stairs, pulling his pajama pants up a little more so the elastic is settled on his hips, not just underneath them.

Before his visitor can ring again, Kendall opens the door and blinks when he sees Victoria standing on the porch, bundled in her winter gear. "Hey," he says and smiles when she does, motioning for her to come inside, shutting the door once she does. "What are you doing here?"

"I've had some time to think about what you asked me," she says, untying her scarf before pulling it off and folding it between her hands.

"Okay," Kendall says and laughs, shaking his head. "So why are you here? You could have called me."

Victoria shrugs and smiles, biting at her lip. "I wanted to see you and talk in person."

Nodding, Kendall motions toward the living room and settles on the end of the couch, leaning back against the arm. Victoria joins him and unzips her coat, peeling it back before draping it over the back of the couch and sitting down, looking at Kendall before glancing around the room. The two of them stay quiet for a moment and Kendall thinks that she's going to say no, his chest tightening because, of course.

"I'll do it," she says, suddenly, and turns to look at Kendall, biting her lip nervously. "I talked it over with my family and my girlfriend, who went over the pros and cons with me, and said that it would be a good opportunity to do something good for someone who can't have a baby on their own."

Kendall blinks and stares at her, his mouth dropping open. "You'll do it, seriously?"

"Of course. We've known each other for a couple of months and I trust you. Besides, I think it'll be nice for you and Carlos."

Without thinking, Kendall moves forward and wraps his arms around Victoria, hugging her tightly. "Thank you," he whispers before easing away and smiling brightly at her, sighing happily. "We'll need to get you looked at by a doctor and, don't worry, we'll cover all the medical expenses. I've got money saved and so does Carlos. Besides, my band is going to put out another album soon, so there's the profits from that."

"Is that customary? Paying for all my medical expenses?"

Kendall nods his head and smiles. "Yeah, pretty much. We'll take care of everything: the doctors appointments, the hospital stay, and anything else you may need."

"So when do we do this?" Victoria asks and Kendall can't help but notice she seems nervous.

"We have to get you checked out first and make sure you're healthy enough to get pregnant. Then you can decide whether you want to, you know,  _do it_  at home or in the doctor's office. We'll leave that decision up to you and we'll go with whatever you want," he answers and then huffs after speaking, smiling brightly still.

Victoria nods her head and rolls her lips in over her teeth, watching Kendall carefully. "I imagine you want to do this quickly," she murmurs.

"As quickly as possible, yes. I'm leaving to record the new album next month and I'd like to be able to do everything before I leave."

"But we won't know if I'm pregnant until you're gone, right?"

Kendall nods his head slowly and licks his lips. "Right, but Carlos will be here for you until I get back. It should only take a month or two to finish recording all of our songs and then the production team does the rest. I'll be back before any of you know it and I won't miss much of the pregnancy."

"I'll make an appointment at with my doctor for sometime this week and then we can get started next week." Victoria smiles and Kendall returns it with one of his own, the smile spreading across his face because he's happy. He's a little worried that he and Carlos are going a little too fast but there's no turning back now, not when he's already found a surrogate.

"That sounds good to me."

With a smile, Victoria stands and grabs her coat. "Which of you is going to be the daddy?"

"I'm not sure," Kendall answers, honestly, and shrugs a shoulder, looking up at her with a smile. "Guess we'll have to talk about that later and come up with a decision before you go to the doctor so we can give you an idea of whose baby you're gonna be carrying."

"I think you should do it," she comments, pulling her coat on before zipping it up and smiling brightly. "But that's just my opinion."

Laughing, Kendall bobs his head and stands up, walking Victoria back to the door. "We'll talk about it and let you know," he says.

"And I'll let you know when I'm going to the doctor."

"Sounds good." Kendall watches Victoria wrap her scarf around her neck and chuckles. "I'll see you at work tomorrow, right?"

Clicking her tongue, Victoria snaps and then points at Kendall. "Right," she confirms and then moves to go to the door.

"There's one thing I need to tell you, though, and you aren't going to like it."

"Is it that all the women in your families have birthed ten pound babies?" Victoria asks and Kendall snorts, shaking his head. "Then what is it?"

Kendall chews on his lip and leans against the wall. "You need to stop smoking."

"Oh, right. Yeah, totally, I can do that. I don't smoke that much anyway." Rolling a shoulder, Victoria waves dismissively and smiles. "Anything else?"

"Nope. I mean, not now; the doctor will tell you all the things you need to do in order to get ready."

Victoria nods and waves before disappearing out into the snow and Kendall watches her climb into the car before shutting the door, leaning against it with a happy sigh. Once the sound of Victoria's car has faded away, Kendall moves back upstairs and grabs his phone to text Carlos, smiling as he types out the message, _"We have a surrogate and we can start our family soon."_

When Carlos comes home later that night, the two of them celebrate with whiskey and sex.

**x x**

Later in the week, Victoria is given the okay to go on with the pregnancy and Carlos tells her that Kendall is the only offering up his sperm.

A few days after Victoria gets her clean bill of health, Kendall goes to the doctor and gives a donation of his sperm, which they hold until the day of conception.

On Valentine's Day, Kendall and Carlos get the call that Victoria went to the doctor to get her procedure done and then they all start playing the waiting game.

* * *

**[March]**

Kendall flies back to California on a Wednesday and he's reluctant to leave his family behind, especially being so close to the time when they're supposed to learn whether or not their efforts in conceiving a baby were successful. But he's happy to have a distraction to keep him busy while he waits for the results of Victoria's upcoming pregnancy test.

The person who picks him up from the airport is Dustin and Kendall is beyond happy to see his friend. They hug each other at the gate and then head down to baggage claim where Dustin grabs most of Kendall's luggage, leaving him with only his carry on and one small duffel bag that's filled with clothes that he probably won't even need.

Once they're in the car, Kendall sighs and settles against the seat, checking his phone every few minutes.

"Dude," Dustin says when he pulls out of his parking spot, "chill out with the phone."

"Sorry. It's just that Victoria finds out soon whether she's pregnant or not and I don't know when, exactly, she's going to take the test. I don't even know if she's going to the doctor or if she's going to just take a home pregnancy test."

Dustin chuckles and pulls out onto the road, pushing the gas pedal down as he heads to the band's house. "You'll be one of the first people that know."

Sighing heavily, Kendall nods and slips his phone between his legs as he looks out the window, watching the ocean as it passes by. He yawns quietly and closes his eyes, dozing off to sleep in no time, letting the sound of the engine lull him into dreams. Kendall stays asleep until the car stops and he jolts away when Dustin smacks his shoulder, digging his fingers into the flesh.

"Huh?" Kendall asks, sleepily, as he blinks his eyes open and turns to look at Dustin.

"We're home." Dustin shakes Kendall's shoulder before climbing out of the car and going around to the trunk, popping it open. He grabs Kendall's bags and laughs when he stumbles out of the passenger side, rolling his eyes when his friend curses under his breath. "You okay, dude?"

Kendall yawns loudly and nods, rubbing at his eyes before opening the back door to grab his other bags. "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired. The flight from Minnesota to California always makes me sleepy for some reason," he answers and shrugs, shutting the door with his hip before slinging a bag over his shoulder, making an 'oof' sound when it hit his hip.

"Well you can take a nap before we hit the recording studio tonight."

"Thank _god_ ," Kendall mumbles and laughs, following Dustin into the house. They make their way up the stairs and into the room Kendall had slept in the last time he was there and, had he not been exhausted, Kendall would complain about the room and all of the memories. But he doesn't and, instead, drags himself into the room before falling onto the mattress, face first, and still in his clothes.

Several hours later, Kendall wakes up when Kyle and Josh come into his bedroom, jumping onto the mattress with him. He groans loudly when one of his friends' knees connects with his crotch and he rolls over onto his stomach, mumbling curse words into the pillow while the two of them laugh and mutter their apologies for waking him.

Josh sits down next to Kendall and pats his shoulder. "We hear you might be a daddy soon," he says and Kendall nods his head. "That's exciting!"

"Yeah," Kyle agrees as he moves to sit by Kendall's head, smiling down at him. "Come on, we need to go to the recording studio."

"I'll be out in a minute," Kendall mumbles against the pillow before pulling his head away and turning it, pressing his cheek against the fabric. "I need a moment to wake up, you guys know this."

Rolling his eyes, Josh snorts and nods before climbing off the bed with Kyle. "Whatever you say," he mumbles and laughs, smacking the back of Kendall's leg before bounding out of the room before he can kick him.

Once his friends are out of the room, Kendall rolls over onto his back and groans, staring at the ceiling. He runs a hand down the side of his face and fishes his phone out of his pocket to check his texts, frowning when he doesn't have one from Victoria. They're all from Carlos and his mom, asking if he got in okay and he replies to them all before getting out of bed, yawning loudly as he throws his legs over the edge of the mattress.

Eventually Kendall makes it downstairs and the band heads out to go to the studio. On the way, they all ask Kendall questions about what he's been doing at home for the past couple of months and he answers them, honestly, and tells them about the house; even goes as far as showing them the few pictures he has on his phone.

When they get to the studio, they all climb out of the car and go inside to meet with their producer, who goes over the songs with them one more time before they recorded the actual music before doing the vocals. Throughout the entire session, Kendall keeps looking at his phone and frowns whenever he doesn't see a message from Victoria or Carlos saying that they're going to have a baby.

A few hours later, everyone goes home and they have dinner together. Josh and Kyle tell Kendall about their lives and what's been going on with them, while Dustin listens and throws in a few words here and there, mostly commenting on Josh' taste in women. Kendall goes upstairs after dinner and takes a shower, laying on his bed afterwards as he stares at his phone and the background - a picture of Carlos holding Isaac.

Kendall falls asleep soon after his shower and wakes up to repeat the day over again, with no "I'm pregnant" messages or calls to brighten his day.

**x x**

A week after landing in California, Kendall wakes up to his phone ringing beside his ear. He grumbles and reaches blindly for it, tapping the 'answer' button before bringing it up to his ear again, mumbling, "Hello?"

"Kendall? Did I wake you up? Oh, god, I'm  _so_  sorry!"

It takes Kendall an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize who's on the other line and he sits up when it finally clicks.

"Are you there?" Victoria asks and Kendall nods, then smacks himself in the face because she can't  _see_  him.

Clearing his throat, Kendall scratches his jaw and yawns quietly. "I'm here," he answers and leans back against the headboard.

"Oh, okay, good. I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm pregnant."

"Seriously?" Kendall asks, dumbly, and blinks rapidly, a smile spreading across his face when she answers with an excited 'yes.' "Oh, god. That's great, Victoria, seriously. Have you told Carlos yet and did you go to the doctor or take a test?"

There's a moment of silence and then Victoria laughs quietly. "I just found out at the doctor's office and Carlos actually went with me," she says and Kendall can hear his husband speaking in the background, which only makes the smile spread wider.

"Tell Carlos I love him," he says and then, after a second, adds, "and I love you too. Seriously, you're awesome and I thank you so much for doing this for us."

"We love you too and you're welcome. Thank you for letting me."

Kendall smiles and rubs at his eyes, yawning quietly. "Well, I'll let you guys go so you two can celebrate. I'll be home in a few weeks and then we can all have a celebration together," he says, his voice heavy with sleep but the words come out happy.

"Oh, definitely. I can't work at the bar anymore, though, so Carlos is going to help me find a job today."

"He's a nice guy, that Carlos."

Victoria laughs and Kendall lets his eyes slide shut as she speak, "Yeah, he's amazing. We'll talk to you later, Kendall! Have a good day."

After saying goodbye, Kendall hangs up and stares at his phone for a second, smiling stupidly. Once the initial shock wears off, he climbs out of bed and goes downstairs to tell his band mates the good news, laughing when they all jump up from the table and tackle him to the ground. They lay in a pile on the floor and Kendall eventually wriggles his way out from underneath the other men before going upstairs to take a shower, his body thrumming with excitement.

**x x**

The band finishes recording all of their songs for the second album in the second week of April. After a few last minute photo shoots and interviews to talk about and confirm the new album's release, Kendall flies back home to be with his family and gets there a few days before Isaac's first birthday. Carlos picks him up from the airport and the two immediately drive to the mall to buy something for Isaac and, while they're there, they pick up something for Victoria to show their gratitude.

Kendall and Carlos head over to their surrogate's house before going to their own home and she shows Kendall the first sonogram pictures which, really, aren't much but he smiles at them, nodding his head slowly as he stares at them. She tells him that the doctors say the baby will be born sometime in the middle of November and Kendall grins, making a comment about his birthday being in November, too, so it'll be a good birthday present for him.

Before they leave, Victoria asks Kendall if he wants to come to her next doctors appointment and he agrees eagerly, without thinking about it first.

**[July]**

Five months into the pregnancy, Victoria goes to the doctor to learn the sex of the baby and Kendall and Carlos are right beside her, both of them holding one of her hands as the nurse gets everything set up. None of them look at the screen until they're instructed to and the nurse smiles at all three of them when she says, "It's a boy."

"A boy," Kendall parrots as he leans in to look at the screen, shaking his head slowly. "I thought it was going to be a girl."

Victoria laughs and nods her head, looking at the screen in awe. "So did I, honestly."

"I knew it was going to be a boy, so I beat  _both_  of you." Carlos smirks, smug, and leans over to kiss Victoria's cheek lightly.

The nurse prints off two copies for them and wipes the goop off of Victoria's stomach before letting them leave. After the appointment, Kendall and Carlos take her to lunch and they all start talking about baby names; Kendall and Victoria laugh at all of Carlos' suggestions and they don't agree on any of the other ones that are suggested.

After lunch, they drop Victoria off at her house and go to see their parents, showing off the sonogram pictures.

**x x**

Sylvia looks at the pictures and smiles brightly. "I can't believe it's a boy," she mutters, before handing the sonogram to Miguel.

"I knew it was going to be a boy; Carlos and I talked about that the other day, didn't we?"

"Yep! Now we just need to find a manly name for him," Carlos says and laughs when Kendall rolls his eyes at the use of the word manly. "What?"

Shaking his head, Kendall smirks and leans onto the counter. "Nothing," he says and rolls a shoulder. "I was thinking of the name Luca." Everyone looks at him when Kendall says that and he blinks. "What?"

"Luca is a  _nice_  name," his mother in law comments and she nods, looking at Carlos. "What do you think?"

Carlos purses his lips and then smiles. "I like it but, honestly, I was thinking about the name James," he says and looks at Kendall, chewing on the edge of his lip.

"James Luca Garcia," Kendall says and just  _saying it_  makes it all seem real to him. "How does that sound?"

"Like we've just decided on our baby's name."

Miguel and Sylvia both agree on that and Kendall smiles broadly, his eyes shining with tears because Carlos actually wants to name their baby James and he couldn't be happier. After James' death, Kendall had thought about using his as a possible name for his future children and he wanted to bring it up to Carlos but wasn't entirely sure how his husband would react to it. But knowing that he wanted it, too, make Kendall's heart thud in his chest.

The four of them sit around for a while and talk, Miguel and Sylvia cooing over the baby's sonogram photo about a dozen more times before Kendall and Carlos finally leave to go see Jennifer. On the way over to his mom's house, Kendall watches Carlos as he drives and holds his hand, kissing along his knuckles lightly, humming when he laughs and complains about it tickling.

When they get to Jennifer's house, Kendall is the first one to go inside and he waits for Carlos to join him before telling his mother the news. She nearly cries upon seeing the sonogram and she does cry when they tell her the name they've decided on, immediately wrapping her arms around Kendall before hugging Carlos tight when her son says that  _he_  was the one that suggested it.

Jennifer invites them to stay for dinner and they oblige, eating and talking with her. They talk about everything under the sun and Kendall updates her on how Victoria's pregnancy is going and he gushes about it because, honestly, he's so amazed that she's carrying their child for them and she's being awesome about the whole thing. Once they've had dinner and two helpings of dessert each, Kendall says they should go home and he drags Carlos out to the car, pushing him against it before kissing him slowly, nudging their noses together when he eases away.

**x x**

As soon as they get home, Carlos finds a picture frame for the sonogram and he hangs it up in the room that will soon be the nursery for the baby. Kendall joins him in the room and wraps both arms around him, humming contentedly as he looks at the other sonogram photos on the wall, all of them progressing and ending with the latest one.

"I can't wait to meet him," Carlos murmurs as he turns around in Kendall's arms to kiss him softly, smiling against his lips. "And his name is perfect."

Kendall smiles and hums again, hugging Carlos' body closer to his own. "It is. I didn't think you would want to name our baby after James," he confesses and chews on the full part of his lower lip, moving his hands to rest on Carlos' lower abdomen.

"I didn't, at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that you loved James; he was a part of you and he always will be. So why not honor him by naming our child after him? I'm sure you would do the same if the situation were reversed."

"I would and... thank you, for being okay with it."

Smiling, Carlos shakes his head and kisses Kendall again before pulling away from him. "You're welcome. Now let's go to bed; we've got a long day of painting and furniture assembling ahead of us tomorrow and I do not want you falling asleep halfway through the day."

"Yes sir," Kendall mumbles and grins, watching Carlos leave the room. He stays behind for a moment and looks at the sonogram picture, a warm feeling spreading across his chest whenever he looks at it. When Carlos calls his name, Kendall snaps out of his thoughts (he had been picturing what the baby would look like and what he'd grow up to be) and leaves the room, flicking the light off on his way out. He goes to their bedroom, strips down to his boxers, and climbs into bed with Carlos; they're both asleep in a few minutes, the excitement of the day weighing on them and making them tired.


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: hospitals because she's having their baby!, sadness, crying, angst, lots of praying, more hospital time, then happiness!]

**[July]**

Kendall and Carlos start to put the baby's room together the day after they learn the gender. The walls are painted a light blue colour and the edges are trimmed in light green, pictures of cartoon-ish looking animals hanging in frames all around. They got the inspiration from a room in one of the interior decorating magazines that Camille showed them and it looks almost exactly like the pictures they show.

After getting the walls painted and the pictures hung, Kendall assembles the crib while Carlos puts the rest of the baby furniture together. It takes them three days, total, to finish putting everything in the baby's room and the last thing they put on the wall is a large frame that holds all of the baby's sonogram photos, with lots of space left so they can add the others when they get them.

The room is perfect, finally, and Kendall finds himself wandering into the nursery every now and then, his heart fluttering when he looks at the pictures of giraffes and elephants hanging on the wall. His chest tightens a little every time he sees the frame of sonogram pictures and his stomach twists in a way that isn't completely unpleasant but, then again, isn't the best feeling in the world either. Kendall can't begin to explain what he's feeling and he keeps his feelings to himself, not wanting to tell Carlos about anything because - if he can't explain it to himself, how is he going to tell his husband about it?

With the baby coming in just a few short months, Kendall takes more shifts at the bar and even manages to snag a day job at a local restaurant, waiting tables. A few people come in and recognize him from the band and from magazines; most of them ask why he's working in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere, Minnesota, and he always gives them the same answer: "Because I'm happy here and this is where my family is."

He has two jobs because they still need things for the baby and he needs to have money for all of Victoria's medical bills. With the money he makes bar tending and waiting tables, along with Carlos' pay from the shop, they have more than enough to cover their bills every month and to pay for everything else, but Kendall wants to be sure they're financially stable. Kendall also works a lot because he knows that he won't be able to for a while, once the baby is born.

**[September-October]**

It's the last week of September and Kendall is at his day job, leaning against the side of the building smoking a cigarette. He watches smoke billow from the end and he tips his head back against the brick wall, his mind wandering when he remembers that he's got the entire night off. Kendall is halfway into thinking about what he and Carlos are going to do later that night when his phone buzzes in his back pocket. Frowning, he puts his cigarette between his lips and grabs the device from his jeans, his eyes going wide when he sees Victoria's name flash across the top.

Kendall takes his cigarette out of his mouth and taps the answer button, bringing the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Ow," Victoria answers and Kendall's heart is pounding against his ribs as he listens to her take a deep, labored breath. "Kendall?"

"Yeah, I'm here," he says and drops his cigarette onto the ground, snuffing it out with the heel of his boot. "What's the matter?"

A long moment of silence dragged on and then Victoria moaned in pain. "I think I'm - ah, shit. It hurts, Kendall," she whimpered.

"Call an ambulance or have someone take you to the hospital. I'll be right there," Kendall promises and, before Victoria can agree, he's heading into the restaurant to find his boss. When he finds her, Kendall explains the situation and listens to Victoria breathe on the other line, nodding at his boss when she gives him the permission to leave work early. "Are you there, Vic?"

"Y-yes," she answers, her voice tight and sounding pained.

Swallowing, Kendall runs to his car and gets inside, starting the engine quickly. "Hang up and call an ambulance. I'll meet you at the hospital."

Victoria agrees, finally, and hangs up after screaming into the phone; it hurts Kendall's ear but he doesn't complain, just listens to her until she hangs up. The moment the line disconnects, Kendall is dialing Carlos' number and pulling out of his parking space, tires squealing as he pulls out of the parking lot and onto the road. Carlos doesn't answer and Kendall gets his voicemail, hanging up with a frustrated noise. After a moment of driving, he tries again and, not surprisingly, gets the damn voicemail again.

"Um, hey, it's me. Victoria is going into labor, I think, and you should meet us at the hospital when you get this. I don't know what's going on because she - she just called me a few minutes ago and I'm driving and... just...  _hurry_ , Litos." Kendall sniffles at the end of the message and hangs up, letting his phone fall between his thighs where it stays until he gets to the hospital.

Of course, he gets there before Victoria does and he's sitting in one of the chairs along the ER when they wheel her in on the stretcher. One of the paramedics tries to keep him from coming with them but Victoria tells them that he's the father of her baby and they allow him to go up to the maternity ward with her. The whole way upstairs, Kendall holds her hand and tries not to cry, whispering words of encouragement until, finally, she's wheeled away and he's held back by one of the nurses who assure him that he'll be able to be with her soon.

Except "soon" turns out to be a full hour.

**x x**

When Kendall is finally able to see Victoria again, she's hooked up to a bunch of machines and she's laying in the hospital bed, breathing slowly as she lays a hand on her stomach. She smiles weakly when she sees Kendall and he comes forward to take one of her hands, leaning down to kiss her forehead, clenching his eyes shut as he listens to all of the machines beep. He knows that they're monitoring both her and the baby, his chest tightening when he realizes that something is wrong. Something is going on and he swallows thickly, squeezing her hand lightly.

"He's going to be okay," Victoria breathes when Kendall pulls away and she looks up at him with tired eyes, smiling softly through her lips are trembling.

Nodding, Kendall drops into a chair next to her bed and sighs. "I know and so are you," he whispers, brushing his thumb along the back of her knuckles slowly as he looks at all of the monitors, swallowing hard. As he looks at the heart monitor, Kendall feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and he pulls it out, reading a text from Carlos that says he's on his way. After sending back a message that just says 'okay,' Kendall turns the sound on his phone off and puts it on the table beside Victoria's bed.

For the next fifteen minutes, neither Kendall nor Victoria says a word. It isn't until Carlos comes through the door that either of them move, both swiveling their heads toward the door and the pressure in Kendall's chest eases when he sees his husband. He holds his free hand out and closes his eyes when Carlos' fingers slide between his own and he lets out a choked off sound when his husband's lips brush against his forehead.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" Carlos asks and Kendall isn't sure who the question is directed to, so he shrugs his shoulders in response.

Victoria takes a deep breath and then, as she's exhaling, lets out a sharp cry. "Not so - ah - good," she answers, truthfully.

"Do you want me to get the doctor?" It's Kendall who speaks this time and he jumps when Victoria nods her head. "I'll be right back," he whispers to her and looks at Carlos, mouthing 'stay with her' before leaving the room to track down her doctor. When he finds her, Kendall explains that Victoria is in a lot of pain and they rush back to the room where Victoria is writhing in the bed, her hands on her stomach; the monitor that's keeping track of the baby's heart rate starts to beep and, soon, Kendall and Carlos are ushered out into the hall.

As soon as they're in the hall, Kendall lets his emotions take over. He holds onto Carlos and leans down, pressing his face against his husband's shoulder as he cries, worried that something is wrong with his son or, worse, that something is wrong with Victoria. Carlos is able to calm him down enough to move him to the waiting room where, thankfully, no one is and he pulls his husband over to a row of chairs, sitting him down in one of them. Kendall hiccups and rubs at his face with both hands, wiping the tears away angrily.

Carlos cradles Kendall's head in his hands and kisses his cheek lightly. "Shh," he whispers, pressing their foreheads together. "They're going to be okay."

Eventually, Kendall calms down and he curls up in the chair, laying his head against Carlos' shoulder as they watch nurses pass by the door. This goes on for nearly an hour and they're frozen in the same spot, both of them afraid to move or go anywhere until one of the doctors comes in to talk to them, their face solemn. As soon as Kendall sees the doctor, he sits up and shakes Carlos' shoulder, both of his hands dropping to his lap.

"Victoria is going into premature labor and we need to do an emergency c-section on her as soon as possible. She's asking for both of you but only one can come into the operating room with her," he explains and Kendall turns to look at Carlos, his eyes shining with tears as he he swallows, nodding his head. "Follow me and I'll get you ready. They're about to take her back now."

Kendall kisses Carlos' lips and stands, sniffling loudly as he follows behind the doctor. Before he knows it, he's given scrubs and he's being directed toward a set of double doors by people who are wearing the exact same outfit as he is, his heart pounding so hard that he can hear it in his ears. When they get into the operating room, Kendall can see Victoria lying on the table in the middle of the room and he's ushered forward, one of his hands reaching out to take hers, the tears spilling down his cheeks.

The doctors and nurses come in, all of them talking around the two of them but all Kendall cares about is Victoria. "You're going to be okay," he promises and moves his hand to the side of her face, touching it lightly. "It's all going to be okay." Those are the last words Kendall says to Victoria before the doctors start the delivery and he can't be bothered to look anywhere but at her, at her face, and at her eyes before they flutter shut, tears streaming down her skin.

Ten minutes later, the doctor announces that it's a boy and, before Kendall can catch a glimpse of his baby, he's being taken away by a nurse. He wants to ask why they're doing that but then he remembers: Victoria was only seven months pregnant and the baby is premature. The thought makes Kendall choke back a sob and he presses Victoria's hand against his face, staying with her as they stitch her up and even when she's rolled to recovery. As soon as he's told that he should go downstairs and get Carlos, Kendall rips his scrubs off and throws them into the garbage angrily, hot tears prickling his eyes.

Tears blur Kendall's vision as he makes his way down the hall and to the elevator. He pushes the button with the arrow going up and wipes at his eyes, sniffling loudly as he steps onto the elevator once it stops and opens it's doors. For a moment, Kendall stares at the number pad and pushes the button of the floor where Carlos is, waiting until the doors shut again to completely break down. It doesn't last long, of course, and Kendall stumbles out into the hall before going down to the waiting room, wiping his face with both hands and then, in return, wiping them against his jeans.

When Carlos sees Kendall, he stands up and takes a step forward before faltering, seeing his husband's face. "Are they okay?"

"I don't know," he answers and sobs, bringing both hands to his face again. "I - don't - know - Carlos."

Carlos swallows and moves forward, wrapping his arms around his husband, trying to comfort him the best way he knows how. "How's Victoria?"

It takes Kendall a few minutes to calm down and he's hiccuping, his face wet with tears. He tells Carlos that she's doing okay and that she's in recovery but they won't let him see her or the baby. When he's calmed down enough, Kendall tells his husband that they should find out what's happening with their baby and he agrees, slipping his hand into Kendall's, giving it a squeeze as they walk down the hall and to the elevator again.

They end up on the floor where the N.I.C.U is and they head to the nurse's station, giving them Victoria's name. The woman behind the desk nods and points down the hall where a few of the nurses that were in the delivery room are standing and Kendall thanks the nurse before heading down that way with Carlos, their hands locked tightly together.

All of the nurses turn around when they see Carlos and Kendall, their faces tired and sympathetic.

"I'm looking for my son," Kendall says, his voice a broken mess from all the crying he did, and he clears his throat. When the nurses asks for the last name, he almost says his own but remembers and tells them Victoria's instead. One of them nods her head and leads them down the hall a little ways before stopping in front of a big window where there are several empty, plastic cribs. Only one is occupied and there are three people standing around it, their hands moving frantically.

Neither of them can move or speak for a moment; it's Carlos that eventually breaks the silence with, "Is he okay?"

"He's two months premature and his lungs aren't fully developed but... he's as okay as he can be at this point."

Kendall swallows and turns to look at the woman, his eyebrows pulled together. "What does that mean?"

"It means," she says and sighs, "that we're going to take good care of him. He'll need to be on oxygen until his lungs are fully developed and he'll need round the clock care until he's able to go home. Right now, the first forty-eight hours are the most critical. Usually when babies make it past the two day mark, they're going to be okay."

"Thank you," Carlos says and the nurse nods her head before moving down the hall again. Once she's gone, Carlos leans his head against Kendall's shoulder and they watch the doctors take care of their baby. Their tiny, precious, fragile baby that isn't supposed to be in this world for another two months and Kendall pulls away before going down to the opposite end of the hall, slamming his fists against one of the doors. He sinks to his knees and starts to cry again, pressing both hands against his face and jerking when he feels someone touch him until he hears Carlos say his name.

For the next hour, Kendall and Carlos stay rooted to that spot until someone comes by to ask if they're okay. When they say they're fine, the nurse asks if they'd like to see their baby and, without thinking, Kendall nods his head. Carlos lets him go in alone and watches him from behind the glass, chewing on his thumbnail as Kendall gets closer to the incubator with their son inside, his chest rising and falling slowly.

When Kendall sees his son for the first time, he blinks away tears and moves his hand into one of the circles on the side of the incubator. "Hey little man," he whispers and swallows thickly, chuckling quietly as he runs his fingertips along his son's tiny hand. "I'm your daddy and... you scared us there for a while. Me and your other daddy, Carlos, are still worried and I'm sure your mommy, Victoria, is too. You weren't supposed to be here for a while but I guess you couldn't wait, huh?"

Nurses bustle by him and Kendall doesn't pay attention; his eyes are locked on James.

"James Luca Garcia." After saying his name, Kendall laughs again and sniffles, wiping his face with the shoulder of his scrubs. "You have to make it, okay? There are a lot of people that are waiting for you and that are going to be upset if you leave them. Me and your dad, especially," he whispers and drags his fingertip along the length of James' forearm before pulling back, tears flooding his vision. A nurse comes by and escorts him out of the room, where he leans against the wall beside the door, fresh tears streaming down his face.

Carlos comes up beside him and kisses his cheek. "What's he like?"

"Beautiful," Kendall answers and chuckles pathetically, scrubbing at his face. "And he's tiny, Carlos. So fucking tiny and - and fragile and I don't know if I can do this."

"You can do this, baby, and you will. We'll get through this together." Carlos runs his hand through Kendall's hair slowly and kisses his cheek again.

**x x**

Two hours later, Victoria is awake and asking for them. Kendall walks into the room quietly and Carlos trails behind him, both of them smiling at the woman laying on the mattress. The smile she gives them in return is weak and sleepy; Kendall can see how tired she is and he knows they should leave but they don't because she needs them. As much as the baby upstairs needs them.

"How's James?" Victoria asks in a hoarse voice.

Kendall licks his lips and gives a shaky smile. "He's up in the N.I.C.U right now and he's going to be okay."

"Is he beautiful?"

"Yeah," Kendall answers, fighting back tears, "he is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen."

Humming quietly, Victoria smiles again and closes her eyes. "Good," she says and, a moment later, she's dozing off to sleep.

Before leaving the room, Kendall kisses her forehead and mutters an apology before he and Carlos slip out into the hall. They look at each other for a moment and go their separate ways to call their family on their own and so they can have a little time to clear their head. Even though he knows it's good for them and that Carlos needs some space, Kendall can't stand to be away from him and he only gets as far as the waiting room before he collapses into a chair. He's drained emotionally and physically and all he wants to do is curl up and sleep, hoping to wake up and have everything be a dream.

When he's sure he can talk to someone without crying or breaking down, Kendall calls his mom and tells her what happened. She says she's coming up immediately and Kendall tells her exactly where he is before hanging up, staring at his phone for a long minute before dialing a number he hasn't had in his phone for a long time and that he's honestly surprised that he still remembers.

The other line rings three times before Christopher answers. "Hello?"

"Hey dad," Kendall says and swallows, running a hand through his hair and over the back of his neck, scratching the base.

Christopher is silent for a moment and then he exhales sharply. "Kendall, is that really you?"

"Yeah, it's me and, um, I have something to tell you."

"I'm listening," his father says.

Kendall makes a sobbing noise and then laughs. "You're a grandfather," he mumbles and closes his eyes, dragging his hand over the side of his neck, resting it just against his pulse. "His name is James Luca Garcia and he - he was b-b-born two months early."

There's silence on the other line and Kendall thinks, for a second, that his father hung up before he hears his voice again.

"I'm so sorry, Kendall. Do you want me to come up?" The answer to that question should be no but it isn't the one Kendall gives. He says yes and sobs it over and over, throwing in a few "please"s in there until his father assures him that he's coming. When he gets the name of the hospital Kendall's at, Christopher hangs up but not before promising that everything will be okay.

Once his father hangs up, Kendall looks at his phone and decides to text Camille, figuring that Carlos already talked to Logan.

_'Victoria had the baby, please come to the hospital, I need you.'_

Sighing, Kendall leans against the back of the chair and looks out the door, waiting for Camille to text back. When she does, he reads her message (" _we're already on our way, honey. where are you at in the hospital?_ ") and replies, telling her exactly where he is before putting his phone on the chair beside him. He lets his eyes slip shut and he dozes off for a while, waking up when his mother comes in and says his name, her voice soft and sweet with a hint of sadness around the edges.

Jennifer smiles softly at Kendall when he wakes up and he returns it. "How are you holding up?"

"M'fine," Kendall lies and sits up, rubbing at his eyes as he yawns. "Dad's coming."

"I know, he called me and asked if it was okay with me if he came up here. I'm surprised you called him, sweetie."

A laugh bubbles up from Kendall's throat and he nods slowly. "Me too," he admits and moves his phone so she can sit next to him.

"Have you seen the baby yet?" Jennifer asks and Kendall nods his head. "How is he?"

"They say his lungs aren't fully developed and I don't know if there's other stuff but, god, he's so tiny."

Biting her lip, Jennifer nods and takes Kendall's hand, squeezing it gently. "He'll make it through, just have faith."

Kendall doesn't reply, just leans against his mother and allows her to wrap both arms around his shoulders. She holds him close and he stays like that even when Camille comes into the room, tears rimming her eyes. His best friend joins them on the chairs and Kendall should feel strange having his mother and best friend comfort him like this but he can't be bothered to care when his son is upstairs, fighting for his life.

The next person to come in is Christopher and Kendall bursts into tears when he sees his father and stands up, moving to hug him. Suddenly, in that moment, all of their arguing and their problems seem so small and unimportant to Kendall. He buries his face against Christopher's neck and cries against him, his shoulders shaking with each sob, hands tightening around his father's button up shirt until Carlos, Sylvia, Miguel, Alex, and Logan all come into the room.

With his entire family there, Kendall feels better and he takes a seat between Carlos and his mother, holding his husband's hand when it hits him that no one has called Victoria's family. He tells Carlos to call her parents while he calls her girlfriend and they tell them what happened, keeping themselves together surprisingly well the entire time. Victoria's family says they're on their way and Kendall feels like he can breathe a little easier, knowing that all of their families are going to be there for them.

No one talks for a while and Kendall finally breaks the silence, unable to take it anymore. "Who wants to go see James?"

"I think our parents should go up first," Carlos says and Kendall nods in agreement, standing with him.

Carlos' parents stand after they do and then Kendall's parents, all four of them following their sons out of the waiting room and down the hall. They all pack into the elevator and Carlos keeps a tight hold on Kendall's hand the whole way, trying his best not to cry. When they get to the floor where James is, taking their parents down to the N.I.C.U where they have to be let in and they wait for the doors to open before walking down the hall.

As soon as they get to the room where their baby is, Kendall and Carlos point to the window and back away, letting their parents see James for the first time, holding onto one another as they listen to their mothers cry. That's all it takes for Carlos to break down and he turns, burying his face against Kendall's chest as he sobs, both hands curling around the fabric of his shirt, tugging on it roughly. He keeps crying even when his father comes over to hug both of them and to whisper that it's going to be okay.

"Hey," Miguel says, rubbing Carlos' shoulders as he cries. "How about we go to the chapel, hmm?"

Sniffling, Carlos shakes his head and clings to Kendall even more. "I don't wanna leave Kendall," he mumbles.

"It's okay, baby, I'll be here when you get back. You and your parents should go up to the chapel together," Kendall whispers, brushing his lips along the top of Carlos' head slowly before kissing it. "I love you."

"I love you too." The words come out shaky and Carlos pulls away, wiping his face. "Promise you'll be here?"

Kendall nods his head and smiles. "I'll be up here or downstairs in the waiting room with everyone else," he promises.

After a moment of hesitation, Carlos nods and walks off with his parents, heading down the hall to the elevator. Kendall watches as the disappear between the elevator doors and then walks forward to step between his parents, looking in at his son. His mother is still crying softly to his right and his father is stoic, his hands stuffed into his pockets but Kendall swears he can her him sniffling.

"He's so small," Christopher says and Kendall nods his head in agreement, sniffling hard. "He's beautiful, though."

Jennifer makes a noise that sounds like an agreement and wraps her arm around Kendall's middle. "He really is," she murmurs.

The three of them stand there for a moment and Kendall clears his throat before excusing himself. "I just need to go get some air," he says and walks down the hall, punching the elevator button before stepping into it once it stops. He hits the lobby button and watches the doors shut, rocking back and forth on his heels as he waits for the elevator to stop. As soon as it does, he steps out and walks toward the exit, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he walks and he breathes in fresh air once he's outside.

Now that he can breathe easier, Kendall starts walking and he ends up at the park across the street. He sits down on one of the benches and looks out across the grass, watching as the sun starts to set behind the trees. Swallowing hard, Kendall rubs his hands together and lets them hang between his knees, dropping his head as he closes his eyes, chuckling quietly.

"I haven't done this in a long time and I'm pretty sure I'm bad at it but... you listen to people like me, right?" Kendall whispers, swallowing again before clenching his jaw, tightening his hands together. "And I know that it's selfish to ask for stuff but this isn't me asking for a new Gibson Les Paul or an Audi R8 or anything like that, so I figure that it's okay. I haven't really asked you for anything and I guess no one ever really does until they need it badly. Well, God, I need you right now and I - I need you to make sure my son lives. That's all I'm asking for: James' life and I'll be happy. I just want him to survive and I want to be able to take him home when he's well enough. To the house I bought with Carlos last year and to the room we painted for him a few months ago. I want to watch him grow every single day and I don't... I don't want to watch him die." A sob leaves his throat and Kendall rubs his hands against his forehead, scratching his skin with his thumb. "Please, God, that's all I'm askin' for. Just... don't make me watch him die. Don't make _Carlos_  and Victoria and our families watch him die, please. Please, God...  _please._ "

The wind blows lightly and Kendall drops his hands, rubbing them against his jeans before standing. The sun is starting to set more and he watches for another moment before he heads back to the hospital, walking slowly like he's trying to avoid going back because he's afraid to hear bad news about his son or, god forbid, Victoria.

Everyone is in the waiting room when Kendall comes back and he slumps into a chair in the corner, pulling his knees to his chest. The talk is muted around him and his mind is somewhere else; upstairs and down the hall, his thoughts going between James and Victoria, his chest tightening when he thinks of the two of them and how he could have lost them both.

When it gets dark, everyone leaves and it's just Kendall and Carlos in the waiting room. They talk about going home and decide to do that once they've seen both Victoria and James one more time. Kendall almost breaks down in front of Victoria when they go to say goodnight and he just narrowly avoids crying when he and Carlos go up to see James and to check on how he's doing. The nurses tell him that he's doing the same as he was before and that they'll call if anything changes.

Carlos drives them home and Kendall stares out the window, wondering what could have gone wrong to make Victoria go into labor early. He's still thinking about it when they climb into bed that night and it's the last thought that passes through his mind before he falls asleep, exhausted from the day they had.

**x x**

Two days later, James is still alive and he's doing better than he was the day he was born. Kendall and Carlos spend all of their free time at the hospital visiting both their son and Victoria, the three of them going up to the N.I.C.U to see him together. When Carlos finally goes into see James, Kendall cries and watches his every movement, the tears streaming down his face harder when his husband puts a hand in the incubator and touches the baby's hand for the first time.

Four days after giving birth, Victoria is released from the hospital and they visit her every evening before they go see James. Sometimes Kendall goes on his lunch break and the nurses tell him that he just missed his husband, which makes him smile to know that Carlos is coming to see the baby when he can, too, and he already loves that Carlos has fallen into fatherhood so well.

James starts eating more and gains weight soon. Kendall watches him grow and he keeps praying every single day, going back to the park when the nurses need to do something with the baby or going down to the chapel when Carlos wants to spend time with him. He says the same prayer every time, though, and he honestly believes that God is hearing his prayers because James keeps getting stronger and healthier as each day goes by.

Weeks go by and Kendall and Carlos continue to visit the hospital so much that they're on a first-name basis with the nurses in the N.I.C.U. They take their families to see James and Victoria goes to see him when she can, smiling at him through the window. It isn't until a month later that the baby is taken off the oxygen and given the chance to breathe on his own; when he does well, Kendall cries and thanks all of the doctors and nurses for saving his life.

**[November]**

"Do you have the diaper bag?" Carlos asks and Kendall holds the blue bag up in the air. "And the car seat is already in the car. We have an outfit to bring him home in and bottles, diapers, wipes, formula..."

Kendall laughs and nods, grabbing his jacket before setting the diaper bag down to shrug into the coat. "We have everything, calm down."

"Are you sure we have everything?"

"Baby, I'm positive we have everything but I can double check if you  _really_  want me to," Kendall murmurs and raises his eyebrows at his husband.

Huffing, Carlos shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. "No, that's okay; I believe you. I'm just freaking out because we're actually bringing our baby home after two months of being in the hospital."

"Everything will be fine." As he speaks, Kendall kisses Carlos' cheek and scoops the bag up again, throwing it over his shoulder. "But you might want to put a jacket on before we leave because it is cold outside," he warns and laughs when Carlos looks at him and blinks like he hadn't thought of doing that.

Once he has his jacket on, Carlos follows Kendall outside and locks the door behind them, half-running to the car before sliding in behind the wheel. Kendall puts the bag on the floorboard between his legs and puts his seat belt on, reminding Carlos to do the same thing before they even think about leaving the driveway. He laughs when his husband throws him a glare and shakes his head, watching him pull his seat belt on before starting the car and putting it into reverse.

Carlos backs out of the driveway and puts the car in drive, heading down the road slowly. He picks up the speed when Kendall complains under his breath and they get to the hospital in no time, Carlos shaking with nervousness and Kendall bouncing in his seat with excitement. As soon as the car is parked and turned off, Kendall gets out and grabs the bag, throwing it over his shoulder again. He watches Carlos get out and pull the car seat out of the back of the car, wincing when he hears it bang against the passenger side door.

The walk inside the hospital is easier than Kendall imagined and he feels calm knowing that they'll be able to take James home soon. He bounds into the elevator and smiles at Carlos, pushing the floor button before the doors shut in front of them and the elevator ascends to the floor where their son is. The doors open and Kendall steps out, turning left before heading down to the N.I.C.U with his head held high and his stomach only twisting nervously until he gets to the doors.

"Afternoon," one of the nurses say as he walks by and Kendall smiles brightly, returning the greeting as he walks down the hall. The closer he gets to James' room, the more excited Kendall gets and he's bouncing up and down when he gets there, standing outside the door as he waits for Carlos. Both of them walk in the room together and the nurse that's holding James looks up, smiling brightly at the two of them.

Biting his lip, Kendall sets the bag on the floor and holds his hands out for James. "How's he doing today?"

"Just fine," Amelia answers and she chuckles when Kendall cradles the baby against his chest. "You two are excited to take him home, huh?"

"Very excited." Carlos smiles and comes over to where Kendall is standing, setting the car seat down before lifting a hand to touch James' hair. "You're going to have that dirty-blonde hair that your daddy has, huh," he comments and shakes his head, laughing when James starts to fuss in Kendall's arms.

Amelia goes over a few things with them and watches as they put him in the car seat, praising both of them for doing it right. After a few last minute lessons, Kendall and Carlos are free to leave the hospital and it feels strange to Kendall that he's leaving the hospital with his son. The very son that he's spent the past two months visiting in the N.I.C.U and praying for.

They get downstairs and Kendall waits inside where it's warm while Carlos goes to get the car. When Carlos pulls up in front of the doors, Kendall goes out and opens the passenger side door before snapping James' car seat into place. He makes sure he's breathing one last time because he's paranoid and then shuts the door before climbing into the front, settling the diaper bag back between his legs.

**x x**

Kendall barely gets any sleep the first night they have James home and it isn't because he's up crying all night. He doesn't sleep because he's paranoid and has to check the baby every few minutes or else he can't breathe, the negative thoughts creeping into his mind until he finally gets up to check on him. Carlos stops him after the tenth time and tells him that everything is fine; that James is breathing and that he's perfectly healthy. His husband's words calm Kendall down enough and he relaxes, allowing himself to sleep until the baby does cry and then he gets up to feed him.

Things get easier as they go along and Kendall starts to develop an almost routine like schedule on how to run things. He stays at home with James while Carlos is at work and the day goes by fairly smooth, with not a lot of crying because James is a surprisingly good baby and Kendall feels lucky to have a child that isn't up all night screaming and crying.

When James' due date rolls around, Kendall and Carlos celebrate it even though he was born on September 26th instead of November 15th.

**[December]**

Their first holiday as a family is spend around the people they care about. Carlos' family, Kendall's mom, Logan, Camille, Isaac, and Victoria all come over to the Garcia house for Christmas and, for once, things actually feel normal. The band's CD is selling well and James is healthy and happy, growing more every day and Kendall feels blessed to have such an amazing little family.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: cuteness, happiness, all the good "ness" adjectives.]

**[April]**

When Isaac's second birthday rolls around, everyone gathers at the Mitchell house to celebrate.

x x

"So," Camille says as she holds a spoon out to Isaac, watching as he eats the tiny bit of cake she gives him, "has James started to crawl yet?"

"Not yet but,  _god_ , I swear he's trying to! He'll push himself up and stay steady for a while but he hasn't tried to take a step yet," Kendall replies as he leans against the wall, watching Camille feed Isaac another piece of cake.

Shaking her head, Camille smiles when Isaac takes another bite and looks at Kendall. "That's so cute; I remember when Isaac started to crawl and walk. He would toddle, you know, and then fall over - which scared the shit out of Logan - but I wasn't worried. He always fell on his butt and never cried once until he pulled himself up on the bed frame and hit his head against it. Poor baby cried for ten minutes before we could calm him down and Logan wanted to take him to the emergency room but it was just a bump. He was up and walking the next day, like nothing had happened."

"Our kids are the cutest, huh?"

"Totally," Camille agrees and laughs again when Isaac starts to say mama. "I swear, you eat just like your daddy."

As if that where his cue to join them, Logan comes into the room and kisses the top of Camille's head before glancing at Isaac. "Dude, did you push your face in the cake again? I swear, we're going to have to take everything sweet away from you," he mutters and Kendall laughs, covering his mouth.

"It's just a little bit of frosting, calm down." Shaking her head, Camille grabs a napkin and wipes Isaac's face off. "There you go," she murmurs.

"I'm going to go find my husband and socialize for a bit," Kendall says, pushing off the wall before moving forward and clapping a hand on Logan's shoulder. He drops his hand a second later and walks into the living room, coming up behind Carlos, making a face at James, who has his head peeked around the other's shoulder.

Carlos turns around when he hears James giggle and smiles. "Hey baby," he says and leans up for a kiss, smiling brightly against Kendall's lips.

"How's everything going?" Kendall asks when he pulls away and he holds his arms out to James, who giggles when he takes him from Carlos. "Hey, buddy. Did you meet a lot of nice people? Yeah? Good."

"Everything is fine; Gustavo offered to start a college fund for Isaac and James," Carlos answers and rolls a shoulder.

Blinking, Kendall looks at Carlos and pulls his eyebrows together. "I hope you said that it's already covered."

"For James, yeah, but I can't speak for Isaac. He's going to find Logan and Camille after he's talked to everyone. You know, to make contacts or whatever."

"Did you tell your parents that Gustavo is going to let you and Logan run the new garage he's opening up?"

Carlos bites his lower lip and shakes his head slowly. "I haven't," he murmurs and then smiles when James starts to drool on Kendall's shoulder.

"What?" Kendall asks, blinking down at Carlos before turning to look at James. "Aw, dude, come on! This shirt is brand new."

Laughing quietly, Carlos holds his hands out and takes James, who started sucking on his fist at some point, so Kendall can peel his button-down off. "Welcome to fatherhood," he mutters and laughs again when Kendall hits his leg with the sleeve of his shirt before tossing it away. "Here, take the baby back."

"He's going to drool on my undershirt!"

"That's what you get," Carlos sing-songs before handing James back to his father and moving away before Kendall can even say a word.

Kendall takes a deep breath and walks around with James, cooing to him before stopping to talk to a few other people. Logan's parents find him and his mother asks if she can hold James, who goes to her without making a sound, and Kendall shoves his hands into his pockets, smiling at Mrs. Mitchell as she talks to his son.

"Carlos tells me that you two are thinking of having another one soon," William, Logan's father, says and Kendall bobs his head. "Wow, two under two?"

"On, no, not _that_  soon. We're going to wait until James is at least one year old before we even go looking for another surrogate."

Joanna smiles at Kendall and bounces James a little bit. "I heard you named him after your ex-boyfriend," she says and Kendall nods. "That must be hard."

"Not really," Kendall admits and rolls a shoulder, smiling at James when he turns to look at him. "It was actually Carlos' idea and it's made things a lot easier for me, even three years later. James will know who he was named after, when he's old enough to understand, and we don't plan on keeping anything from him."

"That's admirable," William says and he smiles bright at Kendall, who blushes. "It's good to see you two happy. We've known Carlos all of his life and I don't think I've seen him this way before."

Blushing more, Kendall bites the edge of his lip and smiles. "What can I say? I love Carlos more than anything," he answers.

"We're glad," Joanna says and she hugs Kendall carefully, laughing when James grabs onto his father's shirt. "I think he wants you back."

"Yeah, he's a daddy's boy," Kendall mumbles playfully and he smiles, taking James back, cradling him against his chest.

William smiles at Kendall and pats him on the shoulder. "You're a good dad," he says.

"Thank you." Biting his lip, Kendall smiles and pats James' back lightly. "Logan is a good dad, too, and an amazing person."

"We did raise a pretty great son, huh?" Joanna asks as she looks at William and he nods his head. "Speaking of, we should go find him and Camille," she says and leans up to kiss Kendall's cheek before pressing a kiss to the top of James' head. "We'll talk to you later."

Kendall nods and watches Logan's parents go off before going to find his own. Instead of finding his mother, Kendall runs into Gustavo and James makes a happy noise when he sees the older man. "Whoa," he says and laughs, holding the baby out to Gustavo when he puts his hands out to grab him.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just didn't expect my son to love you as much as he does."

Gustavo shrugs and holds James, laughing when he steals his sunglasses. "Babies like me," he explains.

"I should think that sentence is creepy, but... I don't, strangely?"

"Ha ha." Gustavo shakes his head and lets James play with his sunglasses. "I want to have a family someday," he admits.

"So go find a lucky lady and make some miniature Gustavos."

"I think I might have found a woman that I can do that with."

Smirking, Kendall crosses his arms over his chest and nods toward Gustavo, chuckling. "Tell me about her!"

"Nah, it's not serious yet. We've only been out a couple of times but... she's nice."

"I'm happy for you, Gustavo," Kendall says and claps his friend on the shoulder. "You deserve some love, too."

Gustavo rolls his eyes and smiles. "Thanks," he says and, upon spotting Kendall's mom, waves her over. "Mrs. Knight."

"Gustavo," she replies and tickles James' foot when she gets close enough. "I see you've gotten my grandson into sunglasses."

"It's never too early to start them out on the path to cool."

Kendall snorts, loudly, and covers his mouth, giggling against his palm. "Sunglasses aren't cool," he mumbles, once he's calmed down.

"Oh, come on, yes that are," Gustavo argues and Kendall just rolls his eyes. " _Hipsters_  aren't cool anymore."

"They're cooler than the sunglasses you wear." With that, Kendall smirks and walks off to find Carlos in the kitchen, skimming icing off the top of the cake and he bites back a moan when he watches his husband suck it off his finger. "That's  _bad_ ," he says, drawing out that 'a's.

Carlos stares at Kendall and, using his clean hand, swipes some more icing off the top, holding it out to Kendall. "Want some?"

"Of course I do." Smirking, Kendall moves forward and wraps his hand around Carlos' wrist, lifting his finger to his mouth. He sucks the frosting off his skin and smirks when he hears Carlos moan before pulling away, licking his lips. "We should get some of this frosting and use it at home."

"You would say that at our best friends' son's birthday party," Carlos mumbles.

Laughing, Kendall shakes his head and swipes his finger along the side of the cake. "I can't help it," he says before licking the frosting off.

Before either of them can say anything again, Carlos' parents come in with Alex in tow.

"Are we interrupting something?" Miguel asks and both men turn around to look at him, grinning sheepishly. "We just came to say goodbye."

Carlos nods and comes forward, grabbing Kendall's hand to lead him toward his parents. "Okay," he says and hugs his father. "We'll be over for dinner soon, okay? Don't make yourselves strangers at our house, either."

"We won't." Smiling, Miguel pulls back and pats his son's shoulders. He goes over to hug Kendall and squeezes him tightly. "We love both of you."

"We love you guys, too," Kendall replies and smiles when his father in law pulls away.

Alex comes to hug Kendall after her father and smiles up at him. "I can babysit sometime, if you guys want," she says and Kendall laughs, nodding.

"We'll think about that, thanks."

After everyone gets their hugs, the Garcia family leaves the kitchen, moving through the crowd to get through the door. Kendall and Carlos join them as far as the living room before moving their own ways across the party. Carlos goes to find Camille and Logan while Kendall goes to sit with his mother on the couch, taking James from her when he started to doze off.

The party goes on for another hour until Isaac is asleep, exhausted from playing with all the toys and eating all the cake, and the guests start to file their way out of the house. Carlos and Kendall stay back, laying James down in Isaac's playpen while they help their best friends clean up, all four of them talking about how it seemed like just yesterday when Isaac was born.

Once the house is clean, Kendall takes the garbage out to the road and stuffs the bags into the trash cans. He runs back inside and collapses on the couch beside Carlos, throwing an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. His husband lays his head against Kendall's shoulder and he smiles, laying his cheek against the top of Carlos' head, sighing contentedly.

"So," Logan asks as he drops into a chair near the couch, 'what are you to doing for the rest of the evening?"

"Probably going to go home and hang out, like always." Kendall shrugs a shoulder and smiles, lifting a hand to touch Carlos' hair, running his fingers through it.

Carlos hums in agreement and nods. "Probably," he murmurs and snuggles against Kendall's side.

"You guys want us to watch James so you two can have some alone time?"

"Nah, we're used to being interrupted," Carlos mumbles and yawns before pulling away, rubbing at his eyes with his knuckles. "We should go, baby."

Kendall nods and stretches before standing, groaning quietly. "Alright, yeah," he says and runs a hand through his hair, going to snatch his shirt up where he left it on the end of the couch. He pulls it on, leaving it unbuttoned, and goes over to the playpen to lift James out of it, shushing him quietly when he starts to fuss. "Grab the diaper bag will you, Litos?"

"I got it." Smiling, Carlos stands and goes over to grab the bag from beside the playpen, throwing it over his shoulder. He smiles, waves to Camille and Logan, and makes his way out of the house behind Kendall after they say goodnight to their friends. They put the baby in the car, buckle him in, and climb into the front seats before making their way home. When they get there, Carlos takes James inside and puts him in his crib while Kendall gets ready for bed; once the baby is down, he joins his husband and they slip into bed together.

* * *

**[September]**

Everyone packs into Kendall and Carlos' house when James' first birthday comes around.

**x x**

"Hey, baby." Victoria smiles when she sees James and Kendall hands him over, smiling at both of them. "I can't believe it's been a year," she mumbles.

"I know, right? It seems like just yesterday that he was born." Shaking his head, Kendall lifts a hand and touches one of the curls at the base of James' skull, playing with it a moment until he starts babbling "dada" over and over again, laughing. "I can't wait until he starts talking more," he says and sighs.

Victoria smiles and nods, settling James on her hip. "Or when he starts walking. Can you imagine it?"

"I imagine it about every day and it scares me," Kendall confesses and moves forward when James pulls on Victoria's earring. "Shit, sorry about that."

"No," she says, laughing as she turns to look at James, "it's alright. Doesn't hurt as much as you think it would."

"You're just saying that because he's the cutest baby ever, right?"

Pursing her lips and shrugging, Victoria looks up at Kendall and laughs. "No, I mean it," she says.

"As long as he's not hurting you, then I guess it's fine."

James giggles and starts tugging on her earring again before going to her necklace. Kendall shakes his head and leans down to kiss the top of his son's before excusing himself, moving throughout the house to find Carlos, who is talking to Victoria's girlfriend. The two of them look at him when he gets closer and Kendall stuffs his hands into his back pocket, leaning against his husband a little, laughing.

"Where's James?" Carlos asks.

"With his mama," Kendall replies and pulls a hand out of his pocket, slipping his arm around Carlos' shoulders. "What are you two talking about?"

Ava bites her lip and then takes a long sip of beer, her lip ring clinking against the glass. "We were talking about me being a surrogate for him," she says, easily, and Kendall stares at her, his eyebrows pulling together. "Victoria and I talked about it, so don't think it's a spur of the moment deal. I saw how much it meant to  _her_  to be a surrogate for you and... I'd like to do it, too. Get me prepared for having babies with Vicky later in life."

"Whoa, you're serious?"

"Yeah, as long as Carlos wants to go through with it." Ava shrugs and licks her lips, dragging her teeth along the skin of the lower one, smiling.

Chuckling, Carlos wraps an arm around Kendall's waist and pulls him close. "And I want to," he says, turning to look at his husband. "If you do."

"Sure, why not? It can't be for a while, at least, because I want there to be at least a two year age gap between the kids," Kendall replies and smiles, leaning down to kiss the bridge of Carlos' nose. "You two talk more about that and I'm going to talk to some other people."

"Don't tell anyone our plans!"

Kendall rolls his eyes and kisses Carlos' lips softly. "I'm not going to," he mutters and squeezes his husband's shoulder before dropping his arm. He gives Ava a hug and takes her empty beer bottle when it's handed to him, smiling at her before motioning for the two of them to keep talking.

As he makes his way through the house and the crowd, Kendall gathers trash that's lying around before dumping it into one of the trashcans. Once that's done and everyone seems to be having a good time, Kendall goes back to the kitchen and literally runs into Dustin, who laughs and catches his shoulders to keep him on his feet. When it doesn't look like he's going to fall, Dustin pulls his hands back and goes to the fridge to grab two beers, handing one to his best friend.

"Nice party," he says and Kendall nods, twisting the top off of his beer. "Can't believe that little guy is one already."

After taking a long sip of his beer, Kendall licks his lips and smiles. "Right? When he was born, none of us thought that he'd live past a day but, here we are, celebrating a whole fucking year."

"I know." Dustin sighs and bumps their shoulders together, smiling. "So, you going on tour with us at the beginning of year or are you bailing?"

"Bailing, really?" Dustin shrugs in response and Kendall laughs. "I'll definitely be there. Carlos won't be working as much when Gustavo opens the new garage next month and he has our families to help him out with babysitting and stuff. Besides, it's only for three months, right?"

Dustin bobs his head and takes a long pull from his bottle. "Right and you'll be able to call or Skype with them all the time," he says, pointing the neck of his bottle to Kendall before glancing over his shoulder at the rest of the band, who are creeping up behind Kendall. "Don't look behind you."

Just when Dustin says that, Josh comes up and wraps his arms around Kendall's shoulders, hugging him tightly. "Happy Birthday!"

"It's not my birthday," Kendall mumbles, shaking his head as he laughs and hands his beer to Dustin. "But thanks anyway."

"Your birthday is soon, though," Kyle points out and he pokes Kendall in the ribs before having his hand smacked away.

Kendall rolls his eyes and elbows Josh in the ribs before ducking when he pulls his arms away. "Yeah, I guess so," he says and shrugs, grabbing his beer from Dustin, draining the rest of the liquid in one long swallow. "Did you guys see James?"

"Yeah." Josh grins brightly and stuffs his hands into his pockets. "He's awesome, dude."

"Seriously, man, he's the cutest baby ever and I was wondering..." Kyle comes closer and licks his lips. "Is his mom single?"

Josh, Dustin, and Kendall all laugh at that; Kendall puts a hand over his mouth, snickering against his palm. "Uh, no - she isn't. She's actually a lesbian," he says and watches Kyle's face fall when he says that. "Sorry, dude. I'll hook you up with someone else, how about that?"

"Don't even bother," Dustin says and sighs dramatically, grinning when Kendall turns to look at him. "I've already tried setting him up with the people I've met out in California and then he went home with me, a few months ago, and I tried setting him up with one of my sister's friends but.."

"They were all too young for me!" Kyle pouts and slumps against the counter.

Snorting, Kendall shakes his eyes and goes to drop his bottle into the garbage. "Didn't stop you before," he mumbles on his way back.

"Ha ha ha," Kyle laughs, dryly, before flipping his friends off. "One day I'll find someone beautiful and it'll be all on my own."

"Or you'll finally use those websites you've been browsing." Smirking, Josh goes over to ruffle Kyle's hair and yelps when he punches him in the gut.

Dustin scoffs and throws an arm around Kendall's shoulders. "See what I'd have to deal with if you didn't come on tour with us?"

"Wait," Josh says, staring at the two of them, "Kendall isn't coming on tour with us?"

"No, I am. Dustin just thought I wouldn't because of James but... I am."

Relief washes over Josh's face and he nods. "Good, we need you on this tour. Jonathan says that it's going to be bigger than the last one."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Dustin says before finishing off his beer and setting the bottle on the counter. "Everyone is saying it's cause you're a dad and teenage girls - and all girls alike, let's be real here - eat that shit _up_. You're a DILF."

Kendall laughs, loudly, at that comment and shakes his head. "I've heard that but it's only from Carlos," he mutters.

"It's totally true." Winking, Dustin pats Kendall's cheek and moves out of the kitchen, claiming he's going to go steal James away.

"Don't let him play with your glasses, Dust! He'll break them," Kendall calls out and hears a very faint _'yeah okay'_  come from the living room.

When it's just the three of them, Josh moves forward and leans against the counter near Kendall. "So you're okay with being away from James and Carlos for three months while we're on tour?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's only three months and that passes by quickly, right?" Josh shrugs his shoulders and Kendall licks his lips. "It'll be fine."

A few minutes pass by and Kendall excuses himself before going into the living room to find Dustin holding James while he talks to Camille, who's got Isaac on her hip. He shakes his head and comes up sneakily to tickle Isaac's ribs, laughing when he squeals and starts giggling loudly, the sound getting James going; soon, both babies are laughing and Camille joins in while Dustin just stares at them.

"Your family is too happy," he mumbles and hitches James higher on his side, looking down at him. "Aren't they, little guy?"

"We have a lot to be happy about." Kendall rolls a shoulder and smiles, holding his hands out to his son, who leans toward him. "We should probably put you down for a nap, huh? It's been a long day full of presents and cake and seeing your uncle Dustin's weird face."

Dustin pouts and crosses his arms over his chest once James is safe in Kendall's hands. "It's not weird," he says.

"Whatever." Smirking, Kendall moves between them and settles James against his chest, smiling when he yawns. "You're getting sleepy, yeah?"

"Dada," James babbles and hearing that word makes Kendall's heart jump in his chest.

While the rest of the guests stay downstairs and continue to talk to one another, Kendall takes James upstairs and into the nursery. He lays him down in the crib and covers him with a blanket, smiling down at his son. When James yawns and closes his eyes, Kendall just watches him for a moment, waiting until he's out before straightening up. After grabbing the baby monitor, Kendall goes back down to the living room and hooks the device on his belt loop before making his rounds again.

**x x**

A few hours later, the whole house is empty and Kendall is sitting on the couch with a beer settled between his legs. He watches Carlos play on the floor with James and smiles, setting his bottle on the coffee table before joining them. When he gets on the floor, Kendall picks up one of the stuffed animals that someone got the baby for his birthday and starts making it talk in a funny voice, even going as far to nuzzle it against James' cheek, listening to him giggle loudly.

"So," Kendall says and looks at Carlos, smiling. "Ava's really going through with it?"

Carlos nods his head and smiles, looking up at Kendall. "Yeah, she really is," he replies and licks his lips.

"When are we going to do it?"

"I was thinking after you get back from your tour and all of your shows."

"That'll be in... March or April," Kendall mumbles and bites his lip. "You're sure you want to do it that soon?"

Nodding, Carlos smiles and looks back at James, watching him chew on the end of a bear's ear. "Yeah, I want to do it soon. That way, by the time the baby comes, James would be two and I really don't want to wait any longer."

"Okay, yeah, we can do that."

"Really?" Carlos asks, biting his lip gently.

Kendall shakes his head and leans in to kiss Carlos' temple. "Whatever you want, baby."

The three of them stay on the floor for a while and play with James' toys until it's time for his bath. Kendall volunteers to do it and tells Carlos to relax, smiling at him as he picks the baby up. He watches his husband settle on the couch before heading upstairs to the bathroom, turning the water on in the tub before laying James' baby bath in it.

Once the water is a good temperature, Kendall gets James ready for his bath and sits him down in the water, smiling when his eyes go wide and he looks up at his daddy, giggling. He shakes his head and starts to give the baby a bath, letting him play with one of the bath toys they always keep in the bathroom as a distraction because, sometimes, James doesn't like taking baths.

When James is all clean, Kendall picks him up and wraps him in a towel before taking him into their bedroom, where Carlos is pulling his pajamas on. Kendall dries the baby and lets Carlos hold onto him while he goes to get his clothes, watching as his husband puts them on, listening to him shush James whenever he starts to fuss.

Carlos puts the baby in his crib, reads him a story, and watches him fall asleep before joining Kendall in bed. They talk about the upcoming tour, the possibility of another baby, and what they're going to do for Kendall's birthday, which is right around the corner. After a few minutes, they fall silent and listen to James' tiny snores coming in through the baby monitor and they fall asleep listening to it.

* * *

**[November]**

Kendall's birthday rolls around and Carlos gets a babysitter (Carlos' mom) for the whole night so they can go out. They go to a nice dinner and then to a movie before going home to spend a couple hours having sex. By the end of the night, Kendall has deemed it the best birthday ever and Carlos surprises him with a cake which gets eaten off of his body, the only way Kendall would really ever eat it.

The night ends with the two of them tangled in the sheets with frosting all over the bed and still on Carlos' chest. Carlos falls asleep pressed against Kendall's side and he stays awake for a while, staring up at the ceiling and listening to his husband's breathing for a while before eventually falling asleep.

**x x**

Thanksgiving is spent at Kendall and Carlos' house where everyone shows up. Carlos' parents, Kendall's mom, Camille, Logan, Isaac, Victoria, Ava, Gustavo, Dustin, and Jo and Daniel even show up for a few hours. Spending time with their entire family - related and extended - makes Kendall happy and he vows to have the family together more often because having the house full of love and people who care about them is everything to him.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [warnings: kisses, light biting, talk of some sexing but no detailed smut, non-descriptive talk of some health stuff, happiness, other health stuff, happiness, smoking, talk of new tattoos!]

**[January]**

Two weeks into the new year, Kendall leaves for California and to start the new tour with the band.

**x x**

Once all of his luggage is out of the car and onto the curb, Kendall shuts the trunk and moves to the back door, opening it before leaning inside, where James is giggling and reaching out for him, fingers wiggling in his direction. Laughing, Kendall leans down and play-bites the tips, listening to his son giggle and squeal louder, the sound making his heart thump in his chest. He doesn't want to leave, doesn't want to spend three months away from his husband and son, but Kendall knows that he has to do it; he has an obligation to the band, their fans, and to their producer.

"Say bye bye to daddy," Carlos says from the passenger seat and he twists around to look at both of them, smiling.

James looks at Carlos and then turns his head back to Kendall to say, "Dada."

"Yeah, dada," Kendall answers and he leans down to kiss the top of James' head, letting the kiss linger for a moment before pulling back. "I'll see you in three months, big guy." After speaking, Kendall touches his fingertip to the back of his son's hand and touches his knuckles lightly, sighing as he brings his hand back and straightens up, waving to James before shutting the door. He moves up a little, taps on the window, and leans inside once it's rolled down to kiss Carlos' lips softly, smiling when he eases away.

"Have a safe flight."

Licking his lips, Kendall nods and kisses Carlos again. "I will," he says and pulls back, waving to Logan in the driver's seat. "Take care of my boys."

"Will do," Logan replies and winks, laughing as he waves. The window is rolled up a moment later and Kendall takes a step back, watching the car pull away, waving to them until he can't see the vehicle anymore. He sighs and goes to grab his things, throwing two bags over his shoulders and carrying the other two in his hands, trudging into the airport before going up to check in.

After getting his tickets and having three of his bags checked in, Kendall heads up to his gate and goes through security. He takes a seat by the window afterwards and watches the other planes take off, leaning his head against the cold glass, fidgeting with his cellphone as he waits for his flight to be called.

**x x**

Four hours later, Kendall lands in California and there's a limo waiting for him. The driver helps him carry all his bags to the car and he settles on the seat once he's inside, pulling his phone out to send a text to Carlos, biting down on the middle of his lip as he waits for a response. When he gets one, Kendall smiles as soon as he sees a picture of Carlos and James together, trying his hardest not to cry because it's hard to be away from both of them.

It's going to be a long three months, he decides as he saves the picture and tosses his phone onto the seat beside his head, falling asleep on the way to the hotel the band is staying at for the night before they leave for their tour the next day. He wakes up when the driver tells him they've arrived and gets out groggily, shoving his phone into one of his bags before taking the rest inside.

Kendall checks into the hotel and goes to find the room he's sharing with Dustin, dumping all of his bags onto the floor as soon as he's inside. Once they're both settled and changed, he two of them go to find the rest of the band and they eat dinner in the restaurant downstairs and talk about how exciting the new tour is going to be and how it's going to be bigger than the last.

That night, before going to bed, Kendall calls Carlos and listens to him talk for a few minutes before he fall asleep. He listens to the sounds of his husband breathing on the other line and follows suit not longer after, waking up in the morning with the phone plastered against his head. After eating breakfast with Dustin in the room, Kendall grabs his bags and they all head downstairs to the bus that's waiting for them, watching as their things are shoved into the compartments underneath the bus.

Once everything is ready to go, the guys leave and head to their first concert that night.

* * *

**[April]**

After playing all of their shows in the United States, Kendall and the boys head to their first foreign concert in Brazil.

The show in Brazil is amazing and the band experiences local culture for a few days before flying back home.

x x

It's well past midnight when Kendall finally gets back to Minnesota and he goes outside to see Logan waiting for him at the airport pick up. He smiles at his best friend and helps him get his bags into the trunk before hugging him tightly, glad to see someone that isn't Dustin, Kyle, Josh, or a strange. When Logan eases away and laughs, Kendall smiles sleepily at him and asks if they can go home already, to which is friend quickly agrees.

Kendall tells Logan all about his tour on the ride home and they quietly take all of his things in, dumping everything in the living room. Logan leaves not long after that and Kendall watches his car disappear before shutting the door silently, locking it before leaning his head against the glass of the window. He listens to the silence of the house and smiles, more than a little happy to finally be home where his husband and son are.

When he finally gets upstairs, Kendall goes into the nursery to look at James and smiles when he sees that his son is sleeping peacefully in his crib. He leans into the crib to kiss James' forehead, stilling when he hears the baby stir and straightens up when he stays asleep, breathing a sigh of relief as he leaves the room, running a hand through his hair. Yawning loudly, Kendall walks into the room he shares with Carlos and slips out of his clothes in the dark, tossing them away before blindly reaching out to touch the bed, letting out a giggle when he grabs his husband's foot and he wakes up, groaning out a curse word.

"Sorry, sorry," Kendall whispers and he narrows his eyes when Carlos flips the lamp on, smiling sleepily at him. "It's just me, don't go for the gun."

Carlos blinks rapidly and then grins at Kendall, pushing the blankets off his legs before coming forward to throw his arms around his husband. "You're home," he breathes and Kendall nods, looping both arms around his husband, holding him tightly for a moment until he pulls back. "I love you."

"I love you too." Breathing in deeply, Kendall leans forward to kiss Carlos and smiles against his lips. "And I'm  _exhausted_ ," he mumbles and his heart jumps in his chest when he hears Carlos laugh, closing his eyes as soon as he feels a hand against his face, nuzzling against the warm skin of Carlos' palm.

"What are you waiting for? Come to bed."

Snorting quietly, Kendall nods and climbs onto the mattress, half falling on top of Carlos. "I was  _trying to_  without waking you," he whispers.

"I'm glad you woke me up. I might have gotten freaked out if I woke up in the morning and saw you in bed." Carlos wraps his arms around Kendall and pulls him close, moving a hand down to tug the blankets over both of them. He smiles and kisses Kendall's forehead, lifting a hand to run his fingers through his husband's hair slowly. "Go to sleep, I'll worry about James when he gets up and you can sleep all day," he whispers.

Kendall nods and yawns, ducking his head to rest underneath Carlos' chin. "Kay," he mumbles sleepily, yawning again before kissing Carlos' collarbone, mumbling a quiet 'goodnight, I love you' before finally dozing off, the length of the day and the weight of all the traveling finally getting to him.

Once he's out, Kendall sleeps all night and well into the morning, only waking up when he hears James crying in the hallway. He awakes slowly, blinking his eyes to look up at the ceiling before turning over to look at the clock and he groans when he sees that it's nearly noon. Sighing, Kendall rubs his eyes with his knuckles and sits up, pushing the sheets off his legs. The crying fades away and Kendall yawns, scrubbing a hand over his hair, pulling at the long locks, making a mental note to go get it cut later in the week.

After giving himself a moment to wake up, Kendall gets out of bed and goes over to where he tossed his clothes the night before. He bends down to grab his jeans and tugs them on, nearly falling over more than a few times before getting the denim up, buttoned, and zipped. Kendall huffs once he's got his jeans done and scrubs a hand down the side of his face as he grabs a shirt from the floor, not even bothering to see if it's his or Carlos', just slips it on and makes his way out of the bedroom.

The smell of breakfast hits Kendall as soon as he steps into the hallway and he smiles, making his way to the stairs and then down them, nearly tripping over his own feet before getting down to the bottom stair. He sighs and jumps off it, moving through the living room until he gets to the kitchen, spotting James in his highchair near the counter and he immediately runs over to pick his son up, listening to him giggle loudly.

"What the fu - " Carlos starts and turns around to see Kendall holding James, smiling as he turns back to the stove. "I thought you were sleeping all day."

"I thought so too but then James woke me up crying." As he speaks, Kendall puts James on his hip and walks over to where Carlos is, leaning down to kiss his cheek lightly, humming when he smells the french toast up close. "God, I love you," he mumbles and kisses the back of his husband's head before walking over to the fridge.

Carlos bites his lip and looks up at his husband, watching him carefully. "I love you too and this will be done in a few minutes," he replies and turns back to the stove, turning the toast over in the pan before moving it around a little, listening to it sizzle.

The kitchen goes silent as Carlos continues to cook and Kendall grabs the bottle of orange juice, bouncing James as he goes over to grab a cup from the cabinet. He sets it down on the counter and twists the top off the juice before pouring some into the glass, waiting a whole ten seconds before chugging the entire glass of juice. James giggles and watches him, patting Kendall's cheek lightly once he's set the empty glass back down on the counter and he giggles louder when his father turns to playfully bite the tips of his fingers.

James squirms in Kendall's hold and reaches up to grab his hair, tugging on it lightly. "Dada," he babbles, over and over, and Kendall smiles broadly.

"Has he learned any new words since I was gone?" Kendall asks, letting James pull on his hair to his heart's content.

"He can say cat, juice, milk, and a few other things."

Kendall blinks and looks over at Carlos until James starts saying "cat" over and over. "Where'd he learn that?"

"Logan and Camille got a cat for Isaac," Carlos answers and turns to grin before plating the french toast.

"Are you serious?" Carlos nods his head and Kendall laughs, shaking his head. "I can't believe they got a cat and didn't tell me. I can't believe that  _you_  didn't tell me about that whenever I called," he says and pouts, turning to look at James, who has gone from saying cat to saying juice. "Okay, I'll get you some juice and then we'll eat breakfast before going to see the Mitchell family."

While Carlos finishes making breakfast, Kendall goes to grab another bottle of juice from the fridge and fills one of James' bottles up with it before setting him back down in the highchair, smiling when he waves at him, curling his fingers into his palms slowly. He goes to grab a plate off the counter beside the stove and gets a fork from the drawer before digging into his french toast, chewing happily as he watches Carlos feed James his breakfast.

The three of them eat quietly and James interrupts the silence to talk to Kendall, mostly just babbling a few words but it's the most adorable thing Kendall has ever heard in his life and he talks back to his son, making faces at him. He laughs when James laughs and sets his dirty dishes in the sink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before cleaning it off on the shirt he's wearing.

"Come on, little man. Let's get you dressed and cleaned up before you go see uncle Logan, aunt Camille, and your cousin Isaac," he murmurs and laughs when James lifts his arms, holding them out toward Kendall before he's picked up.

"I'll do the dishes," Carlos says and Kendall shakes his head, smiling when his husband lifts his brows in question. "Why?"

"Because I'll do them when we get home. It won't hurt to let them sit for a while, right?"

Carlos purses his lips and shrugs, nodding slowly. "I guess not," he agrees.

Smiling, Kendall leans down to kiss Carlos' lips quickly and straightens up when he feels James' hand smacking against the back of his neck. He pouts and mumbles under his breath, rolling his eyes as his son continues to smack him happily, giggling every few seconds. Kendall laughs along with him and carries James through the kitchen and living room, taking him upstairs so he can change him.

Once they're upstairs, Kendall goes to pick out a new outfit for James and lays him on the changing table, pulling his sleep clothes off. He tosses them into the hamper, makes a triumphant noise when they actually land inside, and gets a wipe to clean the oatmeal off his son's face. After making sure all traces of breakfast are gone off James' skin, Kendall changes his diaper and then puts him into the new outfit, smiling down at him as he snaps the last button.

"There, all clean." Kendall picks James up and helps him stand on the changing table, laughing when he bounces. "Alright, come on. Daddy's gotta get changed and then we can go see your family, huh?"

James babbles in response and blows a raspberry when Kendall picks him up, cradling him to his chest. They walk down the hall and into the room Kendall shares with Carlos, watching as he pulls a t-shirt over his head and smiles, holding his hands out for James, who reaches out for him enthusiastically. He hands the baby to his husband and peels his shirt off, tossing it onto the floor before undoing his jeans, pushing them down before kicking them away.

It takes Kendall a few minutes to get ready and then the three of them head out of the house. Carlos puts James in his car seat while Kendall sits behind the wheel and covers up a yawn with the palm of his hand, listening to their son giggle in the backseat. He put the car in reverse when Carlos was settled in the passenger seat and pulled out into the road, shifting to drive before heading toward Logan's house.

**x x**

They spend the whole afternoon at the Mitchell house and ended up leaving James with Camille and Logan for the night. Logan had offered to take care of him so that Kendall and Carlos could spend some time along and so they could talk about their plans to have another baby. Kendall had completely forgotten about that, until Logan brought it up, and thinking about having another child made his stomach twist uneasily.

As soon as they're back at home, Kendall takes Carlos to the living room and sits him down. "So," he says and licks his lips, the thought trailing off.

"So," Carlos repeats and leans back against the arm of the couch, watching his husband. "Do you still want to go along with having another baby?"

"Yeah, of course I do. Time just flies by, you know, and I kind of forgot that we were going to do it when I got off tour."

Carlos laughs and moves closer, curling up against Kendall's side. "I know," he mutters and sighs, closing his eyes. "Ava's been getting ready for it, though, and she's stopped drinking, smoking, and doing anything bad so she'll have a good pregnancy."

Thinking about that makes Kendall's chest tighten and he swallows, leaning his head against Carlos' with a sigh. He runs a hand along his husband's bicep and listens to the noises all around them, letting his mind wander for a bit. Are they _really_  ready for another child so soon or should they wait a while? Kendall knows that they can support another child financially but he isn't sure if they'll be able to take care of two children under the age of five. Maybe they should wait until James is in school, that way Kendall can focus on taking care of the baby while the eldest is out of the house and Carlos is at work.

But that's not what he wants; he wants their house to be full of children already and he knows that Carlos wants it too.

"Okay." Kendall breaks the silence with that one word and kisses the top of Carlos' head. "We'll do it as soon as we can. Get her an appointment with the doctor and make sure she's okay before we go about getting her pregnant," he whispers, lips moving against Carlos' hair as he speaks.

Something like a squeal leaves Carlos' throat and he pulls away to look at Kendall. "You're sure?"

"Positive."

"So Ava can go to the doctor soon and we can start the process again?" Carlos asks, hopeful.

Kendall chuckles and nods his head, licking his lips quickly. "Yeah, whenever you want."

"I love you," Carlos whispers and leans in to kiss Kendall's lips over and over, repeating those three words in between each kiss. Kendall laughs against his husband's lips and returns each one of the light kisses, wrapping one hand around the nape of Carlos' neck as he rests the other against his cheek, deepening the last kiss he presses against his mouth. He smiles against Carlos' lips when he gasps and kisses him slowly, brushing his thumb along his husband's cheekbone slowly, dragging it down the side of his cheek, cupping his jaw lightly.

When they ease away, a moment later, Kendall licks across Carlos' upper lip and smirks when he shivers. "Let's go to bed," he whispers and Carlos snorts lightly but nods his head in agreement, reluctantly moving away from Kendall to stand up, holding a hand out. Long fingers tangle with his own as Kendall stands and gives Carlos' hand a squeeze before the two of them move to the stairs and up them, going to their bedroom.

Once the door is shut behind them, Kendall pulls his shirt off and tosses it onto the floor, stepping closer to take Carlos' off, dragging the fabric up his skin before tugging it over his head, laughing when his arms get caught up in the fabric. He throws it aimlessly into the corner and cups his husband's chin before tilting it up, leaning down to kiss him lightly, moving his free hand along Carlos' side, tracing his tattoo lightly. When he pulls away, Kendall bites at Carlos' lips and then moves toward the bed, taking his jeans off, kicking them underneath the bed, laughing when he hears his phone thunk against the floor.

Carlos takes a deep breath and follows a moment later, undoing his jeans so slowly that Kendall honestly just wants to undo them for him but he stays where he is and watches, biting his lower lip. He lets out a quiet groan when Carlos pushes the denim down his legs and an even louder one when he gets rid of his boxer briefs, throwing them onto the floor behind him. When he looks up at Kendall, Carlos smiles and bites the middle of his lower lip before climbing into bed, laying on the middle of the mattress.

After taking a moment to look at his husband and admire his body, Kendall pushes his boxers down and moves onto the bed, holding himself up so that he's hovering over Carlos. He leans down and kisses his husband's chest, biting at his collarbone lightly before moving to the other side, trailing kisses and nips down the front of his stomach, smiling when he hears Carlos moan his name. A hand moves to the back of his head and Kendall hums against the other man's skin as he moves down to flick the tip of his tongue against the head of Carlos' cock, smirking when he gasps.

Kendall kisses his way back up Carlos' body and pecks his lips lightly. "I love you," he whispers and presses himself against his husband, closing his eyes when he feels two arms loop around his neck, holding him close. They kiss for a long time before Carlos rolls them over onto the mattress and straddles Kendall's lap, his hands dragging down his chest slowly.

They have sex a few minutes later and it's slow, passionate, and Carlos rides Kendall like it's the last time he'll ever be able to do it. And Kendall thinks that his husband looks beautiful on his lap, head thrown back as he bounces and a thin sheen of sweat going down the side of his neck. He leans up and wraps his arms around Carlos, holding him close as he bites across his throat, thrusting into him quickly.

When they're both spent, Kendall lays Carlos down on the bed and pulls him close, smiling when he curls up against his chest. He listens to the other's soft breathing and sighs contentedly, running his fingers through his husband's hair slowly before falling asleep. They stay close together throughout the night and Kendall wakes up a few times when he thinks Carlos isn't there, panicking until he sees his husband curled up on the mattress beside him.

The next morning, Carlos calls Ava and tells her that they're going ahead with the pregnancy.

**x x**

Two weeks later, Ava goes through with the conception and they all wait around for the results, which they get in the middle of May.

* * *

**[January]**

It's the middle of the night when Kendall's phone goes off on the nightstand and he gropes blindly for it, nearly pushing it onto the floor before just barely recovering it. The ring muffles against his palm and he slides his fingertip along the screen, bringing the device to his ear without even looking at who the caller was, yawning loudly before mumbling, "Hello?"

"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," a voice on the other line says and Kendall yawns again, covering his mouth with his free hand.

"S'okay," he replies and sits up in the middle of bed, running a hand through his hair as he looks at the clock, blinking when he sees that it's one in the morning. For a long, silent moment, Kendall can't place who the person on the other line is until he hears her laugh and he blinks again. "Victoria?"

Victoria laughs again and Kendall smiles sleepily. "Yep. Just wanted to let you know that Ava is going into labor and we're heading to the hospital now," she says and Kendall can just barely hear someone groaning in pain in the background; the noise gets muffled after Victoria says "hold on" and Kendall waits patiently, debating whether or not he should wake Carlos up.

A moment later, Victoria comes back and apologizes, causing Kendall to laugh quietly. "It's fine. How's she doing?"

"She's good. Contractions are coming every couple of minutes and her water broke at home," she answers and Kendall bobs his head, listening intently. "I didn't know if I should call you guys now or not but Ava told me to. I guess she wanted you two knowing what was going on every step of the way."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm glad you called," Kendall replies and scratches the top of his head. "Do you want us to meet you at the hospital or do you think she's going to be in labor for a while?" He remembers back to when Victoria was in labor and bites down on his lower lip, silently praying nothing goes wrong.

There's another moment of silence before Victoria says, "I think we'll be fine for now but I'll ask the doctors when we get there. I've gotta go, we're almost to the hospital now and I'll call you back after she's settled."

Kendall murmurs an agreement and says goodbye to them both, his heart fluttering when Ava groans out a painful goodbye. They hang up a second later and he looks down at his phone, running his thumb along the screen before setting it back onto the nightstand, sighing. When he straightens up, Kendall turns so he's facing Carlos and shakes his shoulder lightly, mumbling for him to wake up and biting back a laugh when he tells his husband to go away.

"Ava's at the hospital," he says and gives Carlos another soft shake, actually chuckling when he rolls over onto his back, blinking sleepily up at him.

"Is she okay?"

Nodding, Kendall smiles and leans down to kiss Carlos softly. "She's fine, just going into labor. Vic said she'll call me back later when she's had a chance to talk to the doctor and she'll tell us then whether or not we should come up," he whispers and smiles wider when Carlos lets out a noise of excitement. "It's a little early now, I think, but we should be able to go over in the morning at the very latest."

"I can't believe my baby girl's going to come soon," Carlos whispers and he lifts his hands, cradling Kendall's face gently. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replies and turns, kissing his husband's palm lightly. "Go back to sleep and I'll stay up until Victoria calls us back. If she says we can come up there now, I'll wake you again and we'll figure out something."

Carlos yawns and nods, leaning up to kiss Kendall's cheek softly. "Okay," he whispers, voice heavy with sleep, and drops his hands to his chest, eyes already slipping shut and his breathing slowing down. "Night, Kendall."

"Goodnight, baby."

Once Carlos is asleep again, Kendall slips out of bed and grabs his phone from the nightstand, slipping it into the pocket of his pajama pants. He stretches slightly and grabs his husband's hoodie on his way out of the door, slipping it on as he makes his way down the hall, yawning quietly. The house is eerily silent around him and he shivers at the cold, going down the steps quickly before going to the thermostat, turning the heat up a little more. Kendall sighs as he walks away and goes into the kitchen, running both hands along the back of his head, scratching his scalp as he makes his way to the fridge. The sleeves of Carlos' hoodie come up a few inches away from his wrists and Kendall pushes them up around his elbows, flipping the hood up onto his head.

The house starts to warm up and Kendall hums happily, opening the refrigerator to look for something to eat, scratching across his lower abdomen. He grabs a sandwich he'd made earlier that night and sets it on the counter, hooking his fingers into the handle of the milk jug, pulling it out before shutting the door with his hip, rolling his shoulders back as he walks over to the stove. After setting the jug down on the counter, Kendall goes to grab the sauce pot and a mug from the cabinet, setting the latter down beside the milk and putting the pot down on the burner.

Kendall pours milk into the pot and turns the burner on, letting the stove heat up as he takes the jug back to the fridge. He runs a hand along the back of his neck as he makes his way to the stove once more and he opens one of the cabinets beside it, rummaging through it until he finds a can of hot cocoa mix. It nearly falls onto the counter below but Kendall manages to grab it before letting that happen, breathing a sigh of relief once it's in his palms. With the mix in hand, Kendall shuts the cabinet door quietly and goes to grab a spoon from the drawer, holding it as he pulls the top off the tin.

After yawning hugely and shaking his head violently, Kendall dips the spoon into the mix and dumps a few big spoonfuls into the milk on the stove. Once he's certain that he's gotten enough chocolate in the pot, he puts the top back on the tin and places it back in the cabinet, scratching his jaw as he moves to stand in front of the pot, stirring the milk and cocoa mixture around.

It takes a few minutes for Kendall to get his hot chocolate ready and he pours it into his mug, taking a sip to make sure it tastes right before grabbing his sandwich. He leaves the kitchen and goes to sit in the living room, setting his food down on the coffee table with a sigh. Rolling his shoulders back, Kendall groans and snatches the remote up, turning the television on before flipping through channels randomly, settling on watching a movie he's seen a hundred times before.

Half an hour after eating, Kendall is passed out on the couch when his phone rings again. He barely hears it from where it is in his pants and it isn't until he shifts and feels it vibrating in the crease between his pelvis and thigh that he wakes up. Groaning, Kendall reaches into the pocket and grabs the device, answering the call quickly because he already knows who it is.

"Hello?"

"Kendall, hi, sorry to wake you up again." Victoria's voice sounded tired and Kendall shrugged in response, muttering that it was okay. "Ava is set up in a room now and they've got her hooked up to all the monitors. The baby is doing great, as is she, and the doctors are going to keep an eye on her throughout the night because she's not quite there yet." There's a pause and Victoria laughs. "Actually, she's not there at all, so it's safe to say that you guys can just stay there and I'll call you when things are progressing further."

Breathing in deeply, Kendall nodded and scratched his head. "Okay, call us as soon as she gets ready to have the baby. Carlos will hate himself if he misses his daughter being born and I'll feel terrible about it, too," he mumbles and smiles when Victoria laughs and agrees to call them when she's dilated to a certain centimeter. They say goodnight and Kendall hangs up, staring at his phone for a moment before sitting up, turning the television off before getting off the couch with a groan, stretching his arms above his head. He drops them and heads back upstairs, taking Carlos' hoodie off before tossing it onto the the end of the bed, sighing as he climbs onto the mattress behind his husband.

Carlos stirs when Kendall slides in behind him and wakes up long enough to ask if Ava's had the baby. Kendall tells him no and kisses the back of his head, whispering that he should go back to sleep and that Victoria will call them in the morning, when Ava gets closer to giving birth. They fall asleep tangled together under the sheets and Kendall dreams about their daughter, keeping Carlos close throughout the night.

* * *

**[Carlos]**

The bed is empty when Carlos wakes up in the morning and he frowns, stretching his arm across the spot where Kendall was laying just a few hours ago and he sighs, rolling over onto his back. It's just a little after nine in the morning and he grabs his phone as he sits up, leaning back against the headboard to check his messages and missed calls, pouting when he doesn't have anything from Ava or Victoria. Carlos takes a deep breath and searches through his contacts until he finds Victoria's name, deciding it'd be best to call her instead of Ava, and he taps her name, bringing the phone up to his ear. He bites his thumbnail as he listens to the other line ring and tries to keep himself calm.

Five rings later, Victoria answers. "Hey, Litos."

"Hey, Vic. I was just calling to check on Ava," he says and yawns, running a hand over the top of his head.

"Is that Carlos?" A voice in the background asks and Victoria laughs before answering _'yes.'_  "Tell him I'm having a baby!"

Victoria laughs again when she comes back and says, "Did you hear her?"

"Yeah, I did. She's not having the baby right now, is she?"

"Hmm, not yet." Carlos frowns and listens to his friend talk. "But she'll be there soon. The doctor says she's at, what, eight centimeters right now? So she's only got two more to go and the last few have happened quickly."

Carlos bobs his head and sits up, bending one leg under the other. "Okay," he huffs and then laughs. "Do you want us to come up there now or wait?"

There's a moment of muffled speaking before Ava comes on. "Hey, Litos!"

"You sound unnaturally happy for a woman that's having a baby," he says and laughs when she giggles. "How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic. They gave me stuff for the pain and I haven't felt anything for a while. They say it might be an hour before I can start pushing."

"An hour, wow. Do you want me to come up or wait until everything's happening for sure?"

Ava laughs on the other line and says, "Mmhm. A whole hour and then you'll have your baby girl. You can come up now, if you want."

"Alright. We'll be up there in a little while, okay? We have to drop James off at one of his grandparents' house and I need clothes."

"Take your time, honey," Ava replies and laughs before hanging up. Carlos stares at his phone and tosses it onto the mattress before scrambling to get out of bed, moving around the room to gather clothes for both himself and Kendall, throwing them onto the end of the bed. Once he's gotten clothes, Carlos pulls a pair of jeans on and does them up quickly, tugging a shirt on right after that, and he pulls a sweater on last, knowing that he'll need it because it's cold outside.

When he's dressed, Carlos heads downstairs and sneaks up behind Kendall, who's standing at the counter beside James' highchair. He puts a finger up to his lips when their son starts giggling and he comes up closer, wrapping both arms around his husband's waist, laughing when he jumps slightly. Kendall relaxes against Carlos' hold and puts both hands on his, lacing their fingers together.

"What's up?"

"Nothing," Carlos replies as he leans his head against Kendall's shoulder, humming. "Ava's going to have the baby soon."

Kendall turns around in Carlos' arms and smiles brightly at him. "So we're going to the hospital now?"

"As soon as you put clothes on and I get James ready, yep."

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," Kendall mumbles and leans down to kiss Carlos before heading out of the kitchen, leaving his husband and son alone.

Once his husband is gone, Carlos shakes his head and goes over to pick James up out of the highchair, holding him high on his hip. "Are you excited, James? You're going to have a baby sister soon and you'll be able to go see her once she's here," he says and tickles the toddler's stomach until he's giggling and saying "daddy stop."

The two of them head upstairs and Carlos changes James, putting him in the warmest clothes he can find. He has James dressed and ready by the time Kendall pops his head into the room to announce he's ready to go and the three of them head downstairs. Carlos puts the baby in his car seat and slides into the passenger seat, his body thrumming with excitement. No one says anything on the ride to Carlos' parents' house except for James, who babbles on and on about the new baby and it's so cute that Carlos can't take it.

As soon as James is dropped off at his grandparents', Carlos and Kendall head to the hospital and the excitement builds the closer they get. Carlos is nearly bouncing in his seat because he's been waiting for this moment, for too long, and he can't believe it's finally happening. He's finally going to be a father and they're going to be a perfect family of four instead of three which, okay, isn't bad but Carlos can't wait until there's four of them.

Carlos, James, Kendall, and their baby girl; it's perfect already.

**x x**

Kendall pulls into the hospital parking lot and Carlos just stares up at the building, lip caught between his teeth because he knows that they're going to be a complete family soon and he's about to burst out of his own skin he's so happy. It takes an incredibly long time for Kendall to park the car but, once he does, Carlos is getting out and bouncing up and down, waiting for his husband to get out so they can go inside.

"Impatient?" Kendall asks once he's out and he smiles fondly, walking over to put a hand in Carlos'. "Come on."

When Kendall's hand is in his, Carlos laces their fingers together and follows his husband into the hospital. "I'm impatient and nervous and excited as hell," he mumbles and squeezes the hand in his own, his stomach twisting nervously as they stop to ask what room Ava is in. The nurse at the desk smiles at them, looks at their joined hands, and then turns to the computer, typing Ava's name in before telling them her room number.

Once they've thanked the nurse, Carlos and Kendall go up to the floor where Ava is and they meet Victoria halfway done the hall.

"Oh! You guys are here," she says and laughs, wrapping her arms around both of their necks. "I was just going to grab a doctor."

"Is everything okay?" Carlos asks, panic clear in his voice.

Victoria shakes her head and laughs again, patting his cheek. "Of course, honey. She keeps saying she's ready to push and I need to find someone," she says and barely mutters an apology as she walks away, running down the hall before skidding around the corner. She's gone in the blink of an eye and Carlos pulls his brows together, tugging Kendall toward Ava's room.

Carlos lets go of Kendall's hand when they get to the room and he pushes the door open, smiling as he pops his head inside. "Hey," he says and comes in, holding the door open for his husband, who follows him over to the bed where Ava is laying.

"You made it," she says and smiles brightly before huffing. "I feel like I have to push and I want to, so bad."

"Vic went to get a doctor. She'll be here soon," Kendall says and he puts a hand on Carlos' shoulder, squeezing it.

Nodding, Carlos smiles and holds a hand out to Ava, breathing deeply when she takes it. "It's going to be okay," he whispers and drags his thumb along the back of her knuckles, yelping when she squeezes his hand tightly. "Fuck, you're strong."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry but it distracts me from wanting to push and..." Ava huffs again and closes her eyes. "Talk to me, distract me."

"What do you want me to talk about?" Carlos asks, confused.

Ava purses her lips and then licks them quickly. "Tell me what name you've decided on," she whispers and Carlos chuckles.

"Sophia Abigail," he replies and bites down on the middle of his lip when Ava smiles brightly at him, squeezing his hand tighter.

"That's a nice name," she hums and Carlos nods.

Everyone grows quiet then and Carlos focuses on running his thumb along the back of Ava's hand, humming quietly to her. When Victoria and the doctor come in, Kendall and Carlos move to the corner so Ava can be checked and they both blink when the doctor announces that it's time. Carlos bites down on his lip harder than before and turns to look at Kendall, who's smiling broadly, and he swallows thickly, unable to believe that he's going to be a father soon.

Victoria asks if they want to stay in the room and Carlos immediately agrees but Kendall keeps him in the corner, neither of them entirely sure that they won't pass out from seeing the birth and they can still be a part of everything from where they are. The nurses and doctors get everything together, then Ava's being given instructions and Carlos holds onto Kendall's hand so hard that he pulls it away after only a few minutes, laughing and mumbling something about his fingers being numb.

Once everything is set up and she's allowed to, Ava starts to push and Carlos holds his breath, listening to her. His heart sinks when he hears her make pained noises and he hates that she's going through all of that for them but he loves her for it. He loves her and Victoria for being so amazing and giving them children and he knows that they're going to be bonded for life now when, before, they hardly knew each other.

It doesn't take much pushing and, soon, Sophia is born. She cries loudly and, when he hears that sound, Carlos breathes a sigh of relief and looks at Kendall, leaning up on his tiptoes to kiss his husband's lips. He takes a deep breath after easing away and watches the doctor cut the cord before laying the baby on Ava's stomach. She's so beautiful, even now, that Carlos can't hold back his tears and he puts both hands over his mouth to keep the sobbing noises muffled.

The nurses clean the baby up, weigh her, and make sure she's okay before handing her back to Ava. They smile at Carlos and Kendall as they pass before telling them that they can go meet their daughter, which sends Carlos' heart rate through the roof. His daughter. His and Kendall's daughter is only a few feet away and he only moves when Kendall shoves his shoulders, laughing quietly in his ear.

"Hey," Ava says, her voice tired and wrecked, "here's Sophia."

Carlos swallows and holds his arms out, taking the baby before cradling her to his chest. "Hi, baby girl. I'm your daddy," he whispers and lets out a sound that's somewhere between a laugh in a sob when she starts to fuss in his arms. "And that's your other daddy, Kendall."

"Hey, Sophia." Kendall runs his finger down the back of the baby's head and smiles at Carlos, kissing his forehead lightly. "We've been waiting for you."

Breathing deeply, Carlos leans against his husband and looks down at their baby, holding her close. He keeps holding her quietly for a while and poses for a picture before they hand her back to Ava so she can spend time with her. Once Sophia safe in Ava's arms once more, Carlos and Kendall head outside to make their phone calls and send texts telling their friends and family that their baby has been born.

After telling everyone the good news, Carlos goes to the car to grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the glove compartment. He takes one out, puts it between his lips, and hands the pack to his husband, who takes it with a smile and a muttered thanks. Carlos returns the smile and nods before lighting the end of his cigarette, inhaling deeply with a sigh.

"She's perfect, huh?" Carlos asks after taking the cigarette out of his mouth and they both watch the smoke billow toward the sky.

Kendall nods his head and smiles. "She is."

Sophia Abigail Garcia is born at 10:24 AM on January 6th.

* * *

A week after Sophia comes home from the hospital, Kendall makes an appointment at the tattoo parlor. He goes in without Carlos' knowledge and finally gets the tattoo he's been waiting to get since James was born: his name, along with the name of his little sister. The tattoo goes across Kendall's ribs and it's in a pretty, black cursive font and James' name is right about Sophia's.

Kendall waits until later that night to show Carlos the new tattoo and he expects his husband to yell at him for not getting it together but Carlos doesn't yell at him, just cries and hugs Kendall close to his body. He says the tattoo is beautiful and perfect and tells Kendall that he wants to get a matching one, soon, so they make a plan to get him an appointment in a few days.

Finally, they have a perfect family. Kendall and Carlos go from being just a summer fling to being married with a two year old and a newborn. They're happier than ever and, honestly, Kendall can't think of anything else that would make their lives more perfect. He's married to an amazing man and has two of the most beautiful children in the world.


	55. Chapter 55

**[five years later; August]**

The house is in chaos. It's Sophia's first day of school with her big brother and Kendall is trying to get everything together while Carlos wrangles the kids, coming in with Sophia in his arms and James trotting behind them, wearing a brand new Spiderman shirt with his backpack situated on his shoulders. He grins brightly up at Kendall and snatches a piece of toast off the plate before his father can chastise him and scampers off, leaving Kendall at the counter with an exasperated expression.

"Daddy!" Sophia squeals when she and Carlos get closer, giggling as she holds her hands out to Kendall. "I'm going to school today!"

Kendall smiles and lets her clamber into his arms, holding her tightly as he kisses her forehead. "Are you excited?"

"It's all she's been talking about since I got her ready," Carlos answers and runs his hand along the back of his daughter's head, playing with her ponytail until she giggles and squirms around in Kendall's arms until he lets her down. "Are  _you_  excited about her going to school?"

"Me? Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be excited about our daughter's first day of real school?" Kendall asks and snorts, handing a glass of orange juice to Sophia before she runs off to join James at the table, looking after her with a smile on his face. When he turns back to Carlos, Kendall pulls his eyebrows together at the doubtful expression on his husband's face. "What's that look for?"

Shrugging, Carlos grabs his own glass of juice and pecks Kendall on the lips. "Nothing," he answers and winks before joining their kids at the table, sitting between the two of them as they start talking about school and how excited they are. James expresses his concerns about whether his friends will like the Spiderman shirt his dad picked out for him and Carlos assures him that they'll love it; how could they not? It's bright and has one of the coolest superheroes ever on it. Kendall grins and grabs the plates, taking them to the table before setting them down.

Once breakfast is on the table, Sophia and James attack it, piling eggs and bacon onto their plates, being careful not to get anything on their new school clothes and Kendall watches them, biting back a chuckle because they're adorable. Even though it's been seven years since James was born, Kendall still can't wrap his mind around the fact that he's a father and that he and Carlos have a perfect, amazing, beautiful little family.

"Hurry up and eat. Uncle Logan's going to be here any minute," Kendall tells them as he grabs a piece of bacon and takes a bite, watching James nod his head enthusiastically, giving him a crooked smile. He's missing one of his front top teeth and, whenever he smiles, it's seriously the cutest thing Kendall has ever seen and he has to stop himself from laughing because of that reason.

Sophia swallows a huge gulp of juice and looks at Kendall. "Are you going to take me to school, daddy?"

"Papi and I are going to take you, yes."

"Why's uncle Logan taking James?"

"Because James is in second grade and we've already taken him to school," he answers and watches his daughter pout before turning back to her breakfast, finishing as quickly as she can. Kendall huffs out a breath and runs a hand down the side of his face, scratching his jaw lightly before reaching out to grab his glass, downing it before finishing his own breakfast. Just when he gets done, the doorbell rings and Kendall puts a hand on Carlos' shoulder when he acts like he's going to get up and smiles. "I've got it."

Carlos nods his head and smiles before returning back to his plate, listening to James talk about how excited he is to be in the second grade and he's asking what Sophia is excited for when Kendall gets up, shaking his head fondly. He licks his lips quickly and heads out of the dining room, half-jogging toward the door before answering it, smiling brightly at Logan when he sees him.

"Good morning," Logan greets and comes forward to hug Kendall, laughing when he pulls away. "Isaac's helping Camille get Liam out of the car."

Kendall grins and nods, motioning for his best friend to come inside. "I can't believe you two waited so long to have another baby," he mumbles and watches Isaac run toward the porch, clambering up the steps before throwing himself at Kendall, wrapping both arms around his waist. Laughing, Kendall bends down and hugs the little boy tightly, pulling away to look at him. "You've grown since the last time I saw you."

"Uncle  _Kendall_!" Isaac says and giggles when Kendall tickles his sides before sending him off into the dining room, listening to him yell, "James!"

Straightening up, Kendall groans as his knees pop and he watches Camille walk toward the porch, carrying a baby in her arms. "I was starting to think you wouldn't join us," he teases when she gets closer and leans down to kiss her cheek, peeling the blanket back from the baby so he can smile down at him. "Hey little man, good morning."

"He's been grumpy all morning," Camille complains but smiles fondly, looking down at Liam as she runs a finger along his cheek. "Are you ready to take Sophia to school and hand her off?" She asks and turns to look up at Kendall, smiling more than before.

"Honestly?" Kendall asks and huffs, shutting the door behind his best friend. "I'm scared shitless and I think I'm going to be the one that cries."

Camille laughs, the sound warm and familiar, and shakes her head, brown curls bouncing on her shoulders. "I think Carlos is going to be the crier. You're going to be the one that doesn't let go, even when she says that she's fine," she murmurs and Kendall makes a face at her, holding his hands out for Liam. She hands him over and sighs, crossing her arms over her chest as she watches him interact with the baby, smiling broadly.

"Either way," he says and adjusts Liam in his arms, shushing him when he starts to fuss, "we're going to be an emotional wreck. How am I supposed to go to work after sending my baby girl off to her first day of kindergarten? I can't do it, Camille, I can't."

"Was it this hard with James?" Logan asks, raising a brow and Kendall shrugs. "I think it's just cause she's your little girl and it's hard to let her go."

A laugh bubbles up from Kendall's throat and he nods his head slowly, walking toward the kitchen with Logan and Camille in tow. "I think you're right. I didn't have this problem with James and it was easy to just, you know, send him off to kindergarten but now I'm freaking out about Sophia going," he admits and goes to sit down at the table, smiling when Liam starts to wake up.

"Kendall?" Isaac asks as he comes over, putting his chin on his uncle's shoulder, giggling when he turns to look at him.

"What is it, buddy?"

Huffing, Isaac makes a face and leans up to whisper, "I'm scared."

"About what?" Kendall whispers, fully aware that everyone is looking at them.

"Going to the third grade. It's a whole lot different than the second grade!"

Kendall smiles and kisses Isaac's forehead. "You'll be fine. It's not that much different, just a new grade with new things to learn," he replies.

That seems to sate Isaac and he nods before moving over to sit next to James, both of them jumping into a conversation about Spiderman. Everyone falls into easy conversation and Camille sits down with Sophia on her lap, fixing her ponytail that Carlos did and mumbling a complaint about it under her breath. Sophia just giggles and informs everyone, quite loudly, that her Papi doesn't know how to fix her hair and that Daddy does it better.

"I'm offended," Carlos gasps, putting a hand over his heart and smirking when Sophia giggles. "I'll just let daddy do it from now on."

"Okay!" Sophia agrees and swings her legs happily, playing with one of the charms on Camille's bracelet as she finishes fixing her hair.

It's nice, Kendall thinks, to have his dining room filled with the people he loves and he looks down at Liam, who's cooing softly, and he bounces him a bit, patting his bottom lightly. When Logan announces that it's time for them to leave, Kendall reluctantly hands the baby over to Camille before scooping Sophia up, holding her close as she waves goodbye to her brother, Isaac, Logan, and Camille before saying, "Bye Liam! Give 'im a kiss for me, please?"

"Will do, sweetheart," Logan replies and smiles, wiggling his fingers back at Sophia, who returns the gesture enthusiastically, giggling when Kendall sets her back down on the ground. Once she's standing, Sophia runs to grab her backpack and she slips her arms into it, bouncing up and down excitedly as she watches her fathers get their own things together.

Once they've gotten everything, Kendall grabs his jacket and Sophia's, calling her name until she comes over to him. "You'll have to take your book bag off so I can put your jacket on. Don't wanna freeze outside, do you?"

"Not gonna freeze, daddy!" Sophia sing-songs but takes her backpack off anyway, letting it clatter to the floor before turning, shoving her arms into the sleeves of her jacket, letting Kendall pull it up. "I gots it, daddy," she says and he laughs, nodding as he watches her button the front of the coat up, looking up at him when she gets it done, beaming with pride.

"Good job, baby girl."

Carlos comes up and picks Sophia's backpack up, slinging it over one of his shoulders. "Ready?"

"Uh-huh! I buttoned my own jacket, Papi." Turning around, Sophia beams up at Carlos and holds her hand out for his own, squealing when he takes hers and she squeezes her fingers around his palm. "Let's go! Time for kindeegarten!"

"Kindergarten," Kendall corrects but Sophia doesn't hear him because she's too busy swinging her and Carlos' arms. "Alright, time for school."

Sophia squeals and heads to the door with Carlos, opening it quickly before running out, her excitement making Kendall's heart thump in his chest. He shakes his head and shrugs into his own coat, grabbing his keys from the table before following the two of them out, shutting the door and locking it behind him, making sure it's locked. Once that's done, he jumps off the porch steps and walks easily toward the door, watching Carlos put Sophia in the back.

Everyone gets situated in the car and Kendall starts the engine, backing out of the driveway before putting the car in drive, heading down the street. Sophia starts singing in the backseat and the lyrics sound familiar to Kendall but he doesn't pay attention until she says the word "Diamond" (or, well, tries to say it but it comes out funny). When he hears that, Kendall looks at his daughter in the rear view mirror and grins brightly, shaking his head as he looks back to the road.

"Where'd you hear that song, baby?"

When Kendall asks her that, Sophia stops singing and smiles broadly. "Papi and uncle Logan were listening to it," she answers.

"Do you know who sings that song?"

"Uh-huh," she answers, dragging the words out.

Kendall smiles and flicks the turn signal on, turning onto another street. "Who sings it?"

"Daddy!" Sophia giggles and starts singing again, repeating the same lyrics over and over.

It's been a few years since the band put out a third album and Kendall misses being with the boys. He loves that they're out doing their own thing - and he's doing his own thing with being a dad, a bartender-slash-chef, and a solo performer - but he misses making music with them. Maybe he'll call them one day and see if they want to get together, maybe record some acoustic covers of their most popular songs.

They eventually get to Sophia, James, and Isaac's school and Kendall parks in a spot near the door, turning the car off before twisting around in his seat to look back at their daughter, who had stopped singing and is looking up at him with soft, brown eyes. She smiles and unbuckles herself before leaning forward, nearly face-planting into the back of the driver's seat, and she plants a big kiss on Kendall's forehead, her hands on his cheeks.

"I love you, daddy," she says and smiles when she pulls away before moving to kiss Carlos' cheek with an audible smack of her lips. "You too, Papi."

Carlos smiles and kisses her forehead gently before pulling back. "We love you too," he whispers and laughs when Sophia giggles.

"Time for school?"

"Time for school," Kendall and Carlos say together, all three of them laughing before they get out of the car. Kendall grabs Sophia's book bag, slings it over his shoulder, and takes one of her hands while Carlos grabs the other, the three of them heading into the school. They get a few stares but it's not bad and Sophia doesn't catch anyone looking at them; they're lucky that she doesn't question the looks people give them sometimes and that she doesn't know why people would look at them. All she knows is that she has two daddies, instead of a mommy and a daddy, and that they love each other and that it's completely okay.

When they get to Sophia's classroom, Kendall kneels in front of her and makes sure her ponytail is straight. "You be good, okay?"

"I will, daddy."

"I love you," he says and hugs her tightly, kissing the top of her head when she pulls back. Kendall straightens up and watches Carlos interact with her, one hand wrapped around the strap of her backpack and the other shoved into the front pocket of his jeans. He gives his husband a moment and goes inside the classroom, immediately going up to the teacher, smiling at her.

Outside in the hall, Carlos hugs Sophia tightly and kisses her forehead several times. "Logan and Camille are going to pick you up from school today," he says when he's pulled away and she nods her head, brown eyes shining as she looks up at him. "If you need anything, tell your teacher and she'll call one of us, okay? Plus, James is just down the hall and you'll see him at lunch."

"I  _know_ , Papi," she says and stands on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek lightly. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Now go inside and have a good day." Carlos smiles at Sophia and watches her run inside to find Kendall, tugging on his shirt before he hands the backpack over to her and gives their daughter one more hug. After that, he rejoins Carlos outside and huffs, lifting a hand to rub at his eyes, laughing softly. "You aren't going to cry, are you?"

Kendall blinks and shakes his head. "Me, cry? No way, man. I'm like a rock," he mumbles and throws an arm around Carlos' shoulders, the two of them walking out of the school and back to the car, Kendall sliding in behind the wheel and his husband sitting in the passenger seat. Once they're inside, Kendall starts the car and pulls out, heading back toward the road before getting on it, the two of them talking about how they hope Sophia's first day of school is great and that she makes friends.

By the time they make it to the garage where Carlos works, Kendall has calmed himself down enough that he doesn't think he's going to cry when he goes into work. He kisses Carlos goodbye and watches him get out of the car, biting down on his lower lip as he waves, watching his husband disappear into the building before he's back on the road, heading to work.

Sophia's first day of school goes amazingly and she tells her dads all about it later that night. She shows them the homework they had on the first day and tells them about her new best friend whose last name is Taylor and Kendall emails Jo later that night to ask if that's her son. When she confirms that it is, he smiles and thinks that his kids will definitely have a better life than he did and they'll have more friends than he ever did in school.

* * *

**[September; eight year anniversary]**

Their eighth wedding anniversary comes around and they throw a huge party but not just for that. They throw a party for James' birthday, too, and they invite everyone over so their entire house is packed with friends and family, even some of James, Isaac, and Sophia's friends come along with their parents. Logan, Camille, their sons, and their family are there as well because Carlos and Kendall never celebrate anything without them and, besides, it's their wedding anniversary, too, so of course they're going to have them over.

Everyone gushes about how big James, Isaac, Sophia, and Liam have gotten.

**x x**

Three hours after the party starts, Gustavo comes up to Kendall and pulls him aside.

"What's up, Gustavo?" Kendall asks when they're in the kitchen away from everyone, smiling up at him.

"I have something to tell you," he answers and the smile on the older man's face has Kendall excited. "I didn't want to make a big scene, since it's not my night or anything, but I honestly can't keep it in any longer."

Kendall laughs and pats Gustavo on the shoulder. "Tell me what's up, man."

There's a moment of silence and the two of them just look at each other, excitement rolling off Gustavo in waves before he opens his mouth and huffs out a sigh, his teeth dragging across his lower lip before he purses them together. Kendall just watches and waits patiently, nodding his head in encouragement to tell Gustavo that it's okay to tell him.

"I'm going to be a father," he blurts out and turns pink when Kendall stares at him, blinking once before throwing his arms around the other man's neck.

"Congratulations! Oh, god, I knew that you two were going to have a baby soon!" Kendall says when he eases away and slaps both of Gustavo's shoulders, sighing happily. "We need to find Litos and tell him. He'll hate me if I was the first one to find out and he was, like, the fifteenth or something."

Gustavo chuckles and nods his head slowly, looking from Kendall to the living room. "We should tell him," he agrees and the two of them walk out into the living room where children are running around and adults are standing with one another, discussing this or that or another thing. It doesn't take long for Kendall to spot Carlos in the corner with James and one of the boys from his class, both of them seemingly haggling with Carlos for pieces of candy.

"Baby!" Kendall says, too loudly, when they get close enough and he ruffles James' hair, smiling when he laughs. "Run off with your friends. I have to talk to your Papi for a minute."

James nods and grabs the other boy's hand before running off, leaving them alone with Carlos who looks up and says, "What's up?"

"Gustavo has something to tell you." Kendall sing-songs and goes over to throw his arm around Carlos' shoulders, pulling him close.

Scratching the back of his neck, Gustavo laughs and drops his hand, shoving it into his pocket. "Kelly's pregnant," he says and Carlos stares at him before laughing, moving away from Kendall to hug the other man tightly, clapping his back.

"That's awesome, Gustavo!" Carlos laughs again and pulls back, shaking his head. "When did you guys find out?"

"A few days ago. We told her parents first and then decided to tell the people we care about most after that, so."

Carlos grins and playfully punches Gustavo in the shoulder. "That's great, man, and I'm happy for both of you."

"Thanks," Gustavo replies and smiles before hearing someone say his name. "Speaking of..." He trails off and points over his shoulder with one of his thumbs, indicating the woman near the stairs that is looking at him, and he waves to the boys before walking off to join her, Kendall and Carlos watching him as he walks away.

"So everyone around us has babies," Kendall murmurs as he leans in to kiss Carlos' cheek softly, wrapping both arms around his waist.

A hum pulls from Carlos' chest and he nods, laughing quietly. "Except my sister," he says.

"Oh, no, of course. Speaking of her, how's she doing?"

"She's doing well. Just started law school and she calls my parents every night. She's coming home for Christmas, though, so she can see her niece and nephew," he answers and laughs, turning around in Kendall's arms before kissing him lightly. "Happy anniversary."

Kendall grins and brushes their noses together, breathing in deeply. "Happy anniversary," he breathes and kisses Carlos back. The kiss is slow and they're so wrapped up in one another that neither of them notice their parents coming over to them... not until Kendall hears his father in law clear his throat and he feels like a teenager, blushing as he pulls away. "Oops."

"We didn't mean to interrupt," Miguel says with a grin and Kendall rolls a shoulder, looping his arms around Carlos' waist when he turns around.

Sylvia smiles and loops her arm through her husband's. "You two are adorable together," she says and Kendall blushes, which makes her laugh quietly.

"Thanks. I can't believe we've been married for eight years," he sighs and leans his head against the back of Carlos', nudging his nose against his hair.

"I can't either," Carlos agrees and slips his hands onto Kendall's, lacing their fingers together. "I can't believe we have two beautiful kids."

Mr. and Mrs. Garcia laugh at that and share a look before Miguel says, "We're glad you two are happy and we never thought we'd be here today. Carlos is lucky to have you and he's been happy ever since you came back into his life, Kendall."

"Well, no one thought we'd make it and, to be honest, I didn't exactly think that, either. But here we are, eight years later, and we have two amazing kids, a house that's completely ours, and a family that loves and supports us," Kendall replies and leans his temple against Carlos', bending slightly to do so.

"We love you both," Sylvia murmurs as she comes forward, wrapping her arms around both of them. They say it back and watch the two of them walk away, leaving Kendall and Carlos alone with Jennifer, who's smiling brightly at them. She comes forward, hugs them, and presses a kiss to each of their foreheads before moving back, her hands tucking inside of her jacket pockets.

Kendall frowns and puts his chin on Carlos' shoulder, looking up at his mom through his bangs. "You're leaving?"

"I have to. I work early in the morning and I'm the head nurse so I can't be sleepy or absent," she replies and Kendall smiles, beaming with pride because his mother has come such a long way in the past couple of years. She's had failed relationship after failed relationship until she found someone that made her happy and that Kendall approved of. He hoped they would get married soon and knew that Carlos hoped that, too.

"You going to see David tomorrow night after work?" Kendall asks and grins when his mom blushes.

Nodding, Jennifer clears her throat and lifts a hand to push her bangs out of her eyes. "I might bring him over to see the kids, if that's okay."

"That's more than okay!" Carlos interjects happily, rocking back and forth with Kendall as he smiles. "They love David and you know that they absolutely adore their grandma Jennifer," he says and smiles when she mumbles a quiet thank you, waving a hand dismissively.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she says, eventually, and kisses their cheeks softly before waving. She moves through the crowd and they watch her go, both of them waving to her until she disappears. Once she's gone, Carlos turns around in Kendall's arms and pecks his lips before Sophia comes over, tugging on the tail of his shirt until he turns to look down at her, smiling.

Sophia huffs and holds her arms out, giggling when Carlos picks her up. "I'm sleepy," she says and yawns hugely, burying her face against Carlos' neck, her arms loosely wrapped around it and her dark brown curls spilling across both of their shoulders.

"Okay, do you want me to put you in bed?" Sophia nods and yawns in agreement before mumbling something about Kendall, too. "We'll both put you in bed, then," Carlos whispers and he turns to look at Kendall, nodding his head toward the stairs. They make their way up them and Carlos keeps talking to Sophia the entire way, rubbing her back slowly.

When they get to her room, Kendall flicks the light on and goes to grab her pajamas from the dresser. Carlos sets her down on the bed and Kendall gives her the pajamas, asking if she needs any help dressing herself and she shakes her head, yawning as she swaps her party clothes for her bed clothes. She lays back in bed and covers herself up, folding her arms over the top of the blanket as she looks up at Kendall and Carlos, smiling sleepily.

Kendall grabs a book from the shelf and goes to sit on the bed beside their daughter, Carlos sitting on the mattress on the opposite side. Sophia sits up and leans against Kendall's shoulder, yawning loudly as he starts to read her a bedtime story, showing her the pictures whenever she asks. He finishes the story in record time and then Carlos reads her another one, upon request, before she's tucked in and kissed on the forehead at the same time, which causes her to giggle loudly.

"Goodnight, baby," Kendall whispers as he goes to turn her nightlight on, flicking the switch before standing. "We love you."

After yawning, Sophia closes her eyes and nods slowly. "Night, Daddy and - and Papi."

Carlos says goodnight on their way to the door and he flips the light off, following Kendall out into the hall. They shut the door behind them and Kendall leans against it, yawning quietly which prompts Carlos to smack him on the bicep and tell him to stop, grinning when Kendall comes forward to kiss all over his face, finally planting a soft, chaste kiss to his lips.

They eventually find themselves downstairs again and the party has died down considerably. Some of the guests are leaving, most of them carrying sleepy children over their shoulders, and Kendall says goodbye to them as Carlos goes around to clean up a little. By the time everyone leaves, the house looks halfway decent and James is asleep on the couch, holding a candy bar in his hand.

"I'll put him in bed," Kendall whispers and leans down to scoop his son up, cradling him against his chest. James' head falls against his shoulder and he mumbles sleepily, asking where they're going and Kendall laughs quietly. "To bed," he answers and rubs his son's back before heading up to his room, opening the door with his foot. He turns the light on with one hand and quickly takes James over to the bed, sitting him down on the edge.

James yawns and rubs his eye with his knuckles. "Daddy?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Happy anniversary," he replies and smiles sleepily, laughing when Kendall kisses the top of his head before running a hand over his hair, trying to flatten it the best he can. "Grandma told me a story about - " James yawns again and squeaks quietly before continuing, " - about the other James. He played hockey."

Kendall's chest tightens as he takes his son's shoes off and he nods. "Yeah, he did. What'd she say about him?"

"Just that he - he was important to you and that you loved him a lot." James looks at Kendall with a sleepy expression and smiles again. "Will you tell me more about 'im later, daddy?"

"Of course. I'll even show you pictures of him when he was little and we'll go to his grave one day. You, me, Papi, and Sophia. How's that sound?"

Nodding, James lifts his arms and allows Kendall to take his shirt off. "Okay, that sounds nice."

The next few minutes are spent in silence and Kendall helps James into his pajamas before tucking him into bed. He kisses James' forehead and tells him goodnight before heading outside, flipping the light off before shutting the door and leaning against the wall beside it. It takes him a moment to calm down and he moves away from their son's room after a few minutes, sighing as he walks down to their room, slipping inside quietly.

Carlos is already in bed when Kendall gets there and he strips down to his boxers, tossing his clothes onto the floor before sliding underneath the covers behind his husband, sighing softly. He gathers the other man in his arms and kisses the back of his neck, nuzzling him lightly as he breathes in deeply, taking in the way Carlos smells.

"I love you," Kendall whispers as he takes one of Carlos' hands, lacing their fingers together perfectly. He smiles when Carlos hums and lets go of his hand so the other man can turn around on the bed so they're face to face, the tips of their noses touching. "My mom told our son about James."

"You knew that we'd have to do it soon."

Kendall sighs and nods his head, leaning his forehead against Carlos'. "I know. She didn't tell him much, just that he played hockey and that I loved him."

"We can fill in the rest later," Carlos whispers as he lifts a hand, dragging it down the slope of Kendall's jaw, smiling. "I love you too, by the way."

Silence hangs in the air after that and it's comfortable, like always, and Kendall loves being here with Carlos. He loves laying in bed with his husband when it's quiet and both the kids are asleep, one of Carlos' hands moving against his face. It's calming and completely perfect in every way, even if they aren't, and he breathes in deeply through his nose, letting his mind wander.

"It's been ten years since he died," Kendall points out and Carlos nods his head slowly, thumb brushing along his husband's cheekbone. "It feels like it was just yesterday you know, and it still hurts to think about it."

Carlos kisses Kendall and it's soft and sweet and gentle and not at all a gesture to get him to shut up. It's full of love and Kendall knows that Carlos understands, that he still gets that he'll always love James and that he'll always have a part in his life, and that makes him happy. It's made him happy for the past ten years and he's beyond glad that he has someone like Carlos to love him and that he was there to pick up the pieces after James' death.

They go quiet again before Carlos asks, "Did you ever imagine we'd be here right now?"

Kendall thinks about that and remembers everything that has happened that's lead up to that point. In all honesty, he hadn't thought they'd still be together ten years later and he certainly didn't think they'd have the beautiful family that they do but he's glad that they're together and that they do have James and Sophia. Kendall loves his entire family and he's thankful, every day, that he had the courage to ask Jo about Carlos in the first place because, without her, they wouldn't be where they are and he smiles, nodding.

"Things are perfect, hmm?" Carlos asks and yawns quietly.

Shaking his head, Kendall kisses the top of Carlos' and sighs. "No," he answers, "they're perfectly ordinary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [That's it, folks! That's the whole show and I hope that the ending was enough for you. I knew that I wanted to end it with the word "ordinary" because, hello, it's in the title and I thought it'd be kind of cute/funny/witty to end on that note. I was probably wrong about that but, eh, no changing it now because this fic is finally finished and I'm emotional right now. Right, so, I was going to give you the roughly estimated ages of the main characters so here we go.
> 
> Kendall is 28; Carlos is 30; Logan is 30; Camille is 27; Isaac is 8; James is 7; Sophia is 5.
> 
> Also, the Kelly that Gustavo is married to is Kelly from the show. Completely different from the waitress named Kelly in the beginning.]


End file.
